Panic At The Disco... Or... No, At The Santa House

We went to the Santa House and driving around to see Christmas Lights as a Family on Sunday Night, it was enjoyable and we had Dinner at SONIC.  The Man did panic a bit at the Santa House when he suddenly got disoriented and confused about which way to go to get out.  We put him between us at that point which made it easier for him to follow who was in front and have someone in back making sure he didn't stray or look frightened.  He doesn't get that way often but was having trouble with Sundowners that Evening.  Having some Chili Cheese Tater Tots at SONIC Calmed him right down tho', it's a forbidden pleasure Comfort Food he can't have too often.  *LOL*  He liked driving around better than doing a House Tour in an unfamiliar setting.

Overall tho' I'd say it was a pleasurable Family Time with just that slight hitch.   The Daughter had Opted Out, she knew it would be Sensory Overload for her.  The Son had gone out with his Lifelong Friend Quinardo to "Bass Pro Shop" Sporting Goods Store for their After Christmas Sales.  Q is an avid Sportsman so he was hoping to get himself some Fishing and Hunting Gear at discounted prices.  It's like a Grown Man's Toy Store there but isn't as good as when it was owned by "Cabela's", so, The Man never wants to go there much anymore.   What "Cabela's" used to have in there the takeover discontinued and closed.  Like the Discount Cave, The Restaurant that served Wild Game Meals, The General Store that Sold Gourmet Foods, the Candle Shop, The Kid's Shooting Gallery and Archery Range.  Thankfully they didn't tear out the fabulous Taxidermy Displays or Fresh Water Live Game Fish Tanks.

Old Towne Glendale still does the Glendale Glitters Light Show down Historic Main Street and an Event in the Library Park.   But after that Chinese National, David Chang, bought up so many of the Historic Buildings and kicked Tenants out, most of the Shops and Restaurants that used to be a draw to Old Towne, now still lay Vacant.   I'm sure he did it to depress Property Values so he could buy up more of it at a Discount when the area is blighted by so many Vacant Buildings and loss of Commercial Appeal.  I think the City should have had a Moratorium to prevent that, especially for a Foreign Investor from a Country that is NOT an Ally and never has been.   It's a Shame, I remember when it was Antique Row down the Main Street and had fabulous Restaurants in the Historic 1800's Buildings.   Now it's Dead, so Sad.

Anyway, a lot of Residential Properties still had their Christmas Lights up and their Christmas Trees visible from the Living Room or Dining Room Windows.   We still have ours up and don't take it down until well into the New Year.  No hurries and no worries to, we enjoy having them up too much to be in a hurry to take it all down and put away.  I'm thinking we may just try to move the Gold Vintage Metal Table Tree into the RV Garage Mahal as it is and just keep it up like that in there.  We'll see how possible that is?  The Daughter is still making progress in there and I really now feel that 2025 will be the Year it gets Done and I can hardly wait until we feel it's a completed Project.   Granted I'll be Selling from there constantly to continue to Cull Possessions, but it will look Nice and will be Functional while we keep doing that Downsizing.  That makes a difference from the Visual Chaos it was.

I don't mind having Too Much if it's Visually Pleasing while I'm Editing and Purging it to Simplify Life and reduce volume.  Every Home we've Owned since the Historic One has had Too Much and I didn't mind it at all unless it wasn't Styled and Visually Pleasing to be around.  But I do want to achieve Just Enough, whatever that might look and feel like?  I think I'll know when I'm not ready to Sell any more of it.  In the meantime, even if something isn't For Sale it can be Bought.  Depends on the Offer made and if they can convince me they want or need it more than I do, so that I'll Let it Go?  *Winks*   I've even been Surprised at what I've fallen out of Love with and Let Go of when an Offer has been made that I couldn't refuse.  *LOL*   So long as I'm making Money off the transaction, it's all Good IMO.  If they're making Money off it too on their Resale of it, I don't Care.

Mostly I have Sold to Industry People, especially the higher Quality items, because they're more likely to have the Clients that will pay that Over The Rainbow Price for it.   I'm not looking for that Customer really, I prefer to give my Customers a good Deal so that they feel great about having done Business with me and want to keep doing Business with me knowing they're not having to pay Top Dollar.   I'm making Money, so if they're Saving Money too, Win-Win.  For me it has never been all about the Money, it's more about the Preservation of the items and Rescuing many of them, and, The Thrill Of The Hunt.  That's Priceless.  And, finding those Kindred Spirits and getting to Know one another when we dig the same Stuff and enjoy the same activities to obtain it.  I'm now meeting the Younger Generation of my Grandkid's Age, of Kindred Spirits, which have become our most Devoted Repeat Customers with the New Showroom and what we're carrying in it.

I get a kick out of them telling me I Smell Good {Nag Champa Essential Oil which I've worn since the 1960's}, and Look Cool {What I'm wearing and my Dreadlocks, what Old Lady doesn't want to hear a sincere compliment from a Hip Youngster?  LOL}.   Princess T and I wear what we Sell to our Customers, so we're Walking Billboards for our Merch and our Showroom.   I should actually Sell the Nag Champa Essential Oil in my Locked Case and might look into that and being a Retailer of it, since so many of the Youngsters want it when they smell it on me and ask where they can get it?   *Smiles*   I've sent numerous Customers of mine or just random Strangers who come up and tell me I Smell Good and what I am I wearing, to The Astrology Store where I Buy mine.  I've bought it Online too from E-Bay when a Seller has a Sale and Free Shipping.  But haven't found a Wholesale Distributor.

Anyway, this is the Day I get my Heart Monitor and go see my Dr. McDreamy Cardiologist Guys.  *Winks*   They're looking to see if I have Atrial Fibrillation?    I'm wearing my Beaded Sacred Heart Earrings and Bone and Silver Sacred Heart Pendant Necklace to see my Cardiologist, think they'll Notice the Heart Theme going on?  *Bwahahahaha*  I know, Gallow's Humor, but, still... *Winks*   I had them Young Docs Laughing their Asses off in the Stroke Unit and they told me I was their most Cheerful Stroke Victim that had almost Died.  *LMAOROTF*  I mean, anything CAN be Funny if you have an absolutely inappropriate twisted sense of Humor IMO.   Plus, since I was the Fun Patient, I got more Nurses hanging out in my Room and wanting to be there.   Win-Win, they Spoiled me rotten and we had some stimulating conversations, mostly about them.  I know all about them now.  Listen, being a Hospital In-Patient can be so Boring and a Downer otherwise.  *LOL*

Anyway, between now and the end of February I'll be spending more Time than Usual at my Doctors, so, might as well have Fun in the doing of it I say.  I happen to Like all the Docs I've been Assigned and I Adore my Primary Physician, so my Daughter sees her too and we're going to get Princess T on as one of her Patients as well.   If I don't Like a Doc or a Dentist, I don't stay with them, I pick another.   There has to be that Right Patient-Doc Relationship and Care Standard if you want to be my Doc.   I kinda do my own form of Interviews and not everyone gets Hired, and I will Fire a Doc that just isn't cutting it or can't figure out how to Manage my Care.  *Smiles*   I figure I'm a Good Patient and so I want to Partner with a Good Doctor.  That's the Path to Wellness IMO.

One of my Resolutions that is Doable in 2025 is to fine tune my Diet and Daily Habits to be even more Diabetic Friendly.   Becoz I wanna get off Daily Injections if possible again?   I did it once when I lost 61 lbs. but couldn't sustain that Weight Loss... dammit.   If I get in the range of 157-160 lbs. the Diabetes just seems to go away, so, that's still the Goal, to get to that Weight again and Maintain it this time.   My Blood Sugars have been higher since having had the Stroke.   That's associated with worse Outcomes so I have to get a handle on that fast and get them back down to Normal Range again.   My A1C had shot back up too and is at 8, I was almost at 6 prior to the Stroke, so, that bites too.   So, I have to knuckle down and figure this shit out to improve it all.  It can be associated with Psychological Stress Response to having had a Stroke, so I have to get my Head Space Right too.  The release of Stress Hormones is no bueno.  

I haven't been to the Gym for much of December actually, so much has happened that it just didn't give me the Space to be there.  Even to just do the Saunas, which are Helpful for Relaxation and Circulation.  And until I get a Doc Release to Exercise they've told me to hold back for now on an Exercise Regimen, so, I have.   It's made me antsy and restless to not be able to be more Active, I haven't even been doing Environmental Cleanup again yet.   So I'm eager to get back to my Normal Activity levels, which are more Active than most Seniors I know, but, for me, are something I look forward to and don't like NOT doing.  When I brought some Inventory into the Showroom on Sunday, Anthony came up and gave me a hug.   He's our Muscle at the Antique Mall and a Handsome, Young Sweet Stud Muffin of a Guy, we're good Friends and he's been concerned about me.  He said he's ready for me to come back to Work.  *LOL*

I'm not quite ready to yet and he understands, but perhaps by end of this Week my Stamina may continue to improve, it already has.  My Eyesight seems less annoying in the affected Eye, I'm just now ignoring the Floaters that seem like a Video Game going on behind my Right Eyeball.   Weirdly, at Night, I don't see them at all, it's like they disappear with Night Vision, go figure!!!   I guess that's common due to Pupil Dilation letting in more Light at Night so they're just not as noticeable, they don't actually go away.  If they're less perceptible to your Vision then it's as if they've gone away.   And becoz I Dr. Googled the Condition I'm sure now I'm going to be getting all kinds of Algorithm Feeds to my FB about the Condition, Treatments and shit.  *LOL*

  

Most of my Santa House Pixs turned out that I took with my Old School Camera, but for some reason those I took with my Cellphone were crap this time.  It's Why I carry both all the time, when one isn't taking good pixs then the other one usually is and I'm assured some decent ones.  You can kinda tell when things started deteriorating Emotionally/Mentally for The Man during our visit, he began looking like a Deer Caught in the Headlights and a bit Terrified.  Then we had the Episode in the Back Yard where he got so disoriented he panicked and said, "I don't know how to get out of here!", and tho' Gallow's Humorous now, I'm like, "Just fucking Turn Around!"... it was really as Simple as that, but after Sundown, he can't always make sense of Simple Logic.  So, when faced with a Dead End in the Back Yard, where you see the Display at The End and then just turn around and go back from whence you came, Nope, he thought he was Trapped and Panicked!

Then he acted like he couldn't remember how to Turn Around and he's Freaking Out more and I'm like getting firmer with my Solution, "Honey, just fucking Turn Around!", and Princess T is like, "I don't think Grandpa wants to be here anymore and he wants to get out...", so, we spun him around to head and face in the Right Direction to get out, aborted said Tour and quickly then moved thru the rest of it post haste before he had a complete Meltdown.  In the Moment, not at all humorous and has to be taken dead Seriously of coarse.   I had to Solve the Problem in Real Time, make him Feel he was going to be alright and adapt our Plans so he could continue to be included, while not wrecking the experience for everyone.  After you get it handled is usually when the Gallow's Humor kicks in and you can view it with levity and mebbe Joke about it so the weight of the Reality isn't so Heavy.

So, in the retelling of it of coarse I'm Laughing so hard I'm Crying, so the Adult Kiddos at Home are also Laughing and yet feeling Guilty about it being Funny in the Retelling of the Story, and saying, we're all going to Hell.  *Winks*   It's not Right we're Laughing about this... Yeah, but it is fucking Funny in a Twisted Kinda way of Sic way of retelling how absurd it gets when Dealing with Dementia, No?  *Bwahahahaha*  I Laughed so hard I had Tears rolling down my Cheeks and my Sides hurt.  And now the Catch Laughter Trigger of the Moment is the Kids Parroting, "Just fucking Turn Around!"  *LMAOROTF*   Any time I take this Show on the Road I know there's a 50-50 Chance it's not gonna Work Out as envisioned, or, at all.  That's just how it is, but it doesn't stop me from attempting to Normalize Life and do things with Family Members who may or may not be able to meet expectations of whatever we'd like to do together.

I guess you have to Live it to see the Gallow's Humor in the absurdity of Dealing with it Daily.   If you couldn't find the Levity in it, you'd probably stress the fuck out entirely and not Cope or not try to do anything out of Fear it'll go Sideways?   And he did have a Good Time except for in that particular Moment when he just wasn't anymore.  It's all Fun until it isn't.  Once we got him back into the Truck, got him some Chili Cheese Tater Tots to distract him and just Drove Around looking at Lights, he was Happier than a Clam at High Tide and was able to Mood Regulate.  *Winks*   And when he gets Distressed or Scared about it, I just tell him it's Alright, he's just having Sundowners and it will Lift in the Morning, so just Power thru it 'til Sunup.  That seems to Soothe him and make him Feel more Secure about the Confusion and less Panic stricken.   And sometimes he can tell when it might be Sensory Overload for him and take my Advice that mebbe he should sit something out and not go.  But, he really wanted to do this so we gave it a shot and mostly it went Well.

I don't know how much longer he CAN do it so while he still can, we do.  I did things with my Mom during her Dementia progression and often it went Okay.   She was more difficult to Manage than The Man is, but part of that might be the Mother/Daughter Relationship being different than the Relationship a Husband/Wife has with a Caregiver Role?   When you're the Adult Kid, often an ailing Parent resents the loss of Independence and their Child making decisions for them and roles reversing, so is less likely to relinquish it than an ailing Spouse does/will?   I just know as the Spouse, it's easier for me than it was with either of my Parents when they got Sick and I had to step into a Caregiver Role to assist them to remain living Independently for as long as we could Manage it that way.   

 And it's different depending on whether their Brain gives out first or their Body.  For Mom it was her Brain that gave out, with Dad it was his Body that gave out.   Both Scenarios are difficult in different ways, I can't say any are preferable to Deal with, but perhaps Dealing with the Physical can be less complex than Dealing with the Mental deterioration, at least in my experience as a Caregiver.  The Physical is pretty forthright on what needs to be done to provide the best Care, the Mental is not so easily navigated and is more fluid, it won't always play out the same so you have to figure out Care Methods on The Fly a lot of the time.   Sometimes you get Lucky and those Methods Work, sometimes they don't and won't all the time.    Someone going thru Psychosis or Depression is more complicated to Manage than someone whose got a Physical Barrier you must work around providing Care for.

LATER:   So, Dr. McDreamy {Dr. Nick} is my Primary Cardiologist contact and he's not only very Handsome and capable, but he's humorous too.  He said the Heart is pretty basic, blood in, blood out, which is why he's not a Brain Surgeon.  *LOL*  Downplaying Cardiology was funny, becoz it is a Specialization that takes a lot of Skill and Training to be dealing with the Heart, but clearly he doesn't take himself so Seriously and I liked that humility.   He's Left Handed and I didn't see a Wedding Ring, so I Joked later that perhaps I should have taken Princess T with me to the Appointment so she could snag herself a Dreamy Cardiologist?  *Bwahahaha*   Dr. Nick's Stock Image Below, so you know I'm not exaggerating what a Stud Muffin he is, and that's not even a flattering Photo of him, more Handsome in Person.  *Swoon*   If I was Forty Years Younger, I'd have a Crush on my Cardiologist.  *Smiles*

So, I got my Heart Monitor installed, I wear it for Two Weeks, then take it off and Mail it back to be Read and then I see Dr. Nick in a Month to discuss the results.   I'll be keeping a Diary Log of any Incidents within the Two Week Period, I can Shower with it on but can't take Baths, Jacuzzi, or Swim... so what I usually do at The Gym will have to wait 'til it's off.  They may then, depending upon the results, Implant a permanent one that will last 4 Years and alert them of any Episodes, to avoid Stroking Out again and hopefully prevent another Stroke via Medications like a Blood Thinner.   I feel very good about the Quality of Care I'm getting and their Offices are conveniently located near Home.  Not only that, but my Neurologist is in the same Building, also very Convenient.   My Neurologist is a very nice Middle Aged East Indian Doctor that I really liked too.   So, I feel I have a very good Team on it, we'll be addressed the Brain after we Deal with the Heart, I'm likely to be a long term Patient of both now.

Princess T is handling it the best, the other Three, not so much.  The Son has fallen into a Deep Depression, The Daughter is getting Paranoid that I'm in worse shape than I actually am, The Man is exaggerating his own Aches and Pains to get a Reaction out of me coz he's Scared about my Health and doesn't know how to receive what's happening.   I'm telling them all I'll be just Fine, but, of coarse it's not a Guarantee coz we don't know that for sure.  Waiting on Test results is always nerve racking and my Diabetic Readings are elevated due to Stress Hormone release apparently, not uncommon after a Stroke, but not a good thing either.  I'm trying to bring them down by increasing my injectable doses, which is helping some, but they elevate any time I eat, and I do have to eat.  When it's high even before eating and then I bring it down with a Shot, I know it will only elevate again when I consume anything, no matter how healthy.

 

So, that's a juggling act with all the Balls in the Air right now too.  I did have a nice Luncheon at "Wildflower Bread Company" after my Heart Monitor was installed {see pix below}.   I only ate about 1/3 of it and brought the rest Home as Leftovers, which should last me Two more Meals.  I haven't had much of an appetite even when things like this taste Sublime, I can only eat a very tiny portion regardless.   The portion isn't large to begin with, so eating only 1/3 at a time doesn't raise my Readings too high.   This Pasta Dish has Zucchini, Eggplant, Peas and Mushroom with Basil and Feta, Garlic Ciabatta Bread and Greens, it's  nicely Light on the Sauce.  The Sauce is good, but, I can't have it Heavy on Sauce so it's perfect for me as it is.   I'd intended to just get a Soup and Salad, but, it was after 3:00 p.m. by the time I got out of the Doctor's Office and I hadn't eaten much all day, so needed something more substantial.

The Manageress came over and Served it to me and asked why she hadn't seen me in a while, I told her what had happened.  She'd had a Stroke 10 Years ago and said it does alter how you have to consider things so as not to risk another one.   I don't necessarily think I've been doing anything to cause one, the Docs seem to think I was likely Born with this Heart Condition and it just never caused an Issue until I got Older.   Comorbidities like developing Type II Diabetes makes you higher risk and I got that after having had a Hysterectomy which caused a 60 lbs. Hormonal Weight Gain.  Before getting my Lady Plumbing removed I was always Naturally very Thin my whole Life, the same with my Mom, but Post-Hysterectomy we both developed the same Issues of Weight Gain and then Type II Diabetes.  She was on Hormone Replacement Therapy which then caused Cancer, so, I Opted Out of Hormone Therapy due to the History risk factors.

  

I've lost the additional 60 lbs. once before with 10 Months of hard Work and it just didn't end up being sustainable and I regained it about 18 Months later.   Which, once Lost, the Diabetes went away, so, it's been my Goal to not only lose it again, but to sustain the Loss this time permanently.  How my Body seems to now process food intake has just been problematic Post-Hysterectomy.  I'm not a glutton, I don't eat a lot nor overeat, I am very Active and Exercise regularly, so am not sedentary either.  I prefer healthier foods and am not a Fan of Fried Foods, Junk Foods, or even Sweet Tooth Fare.  I like Savory or Sour over Sweet any day.  I Hydrate well and am moderate and balanced in just about everything regarding Diet and my Health Regimen.  So, it is frustrating when you're doing what is suggested and results just aren't always idyllic regardless of my consistency and dedication.   I see people who don't take a Health Regimen Seriously at all, that have just about the same outcome... Life just ain't always Fair like that.

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Happy New Year my Friends... it's the very last Day of 2024... Technically New Year's Eve is less than 24 Hours away now... may The Force be with you in 2025... Dawn... The Bohemian