The Dark Freefall Down The Rabbit Hole

I'm in a Bloggy Mood with very little to actually Write about and only a smattering of Imagery left in my Photo Archives to choose from after my Involuntary PC Update dumped so much of my Data indiscriminately while I wasn't even Online to delay or prevent it!!!  What to do, what to do?  First World Problems to be sure, but, nonetheless rather aggravating.  *LOL*   It had been threatening to Update for Days but there was like a Snooze Feature I could click on to delay it and "Remind me Later".  But, if you're not Online when that hits, it will automatically Update itself and so now here we are with a shitty Enhancement I did not ask for nor want installed... dammit!   I know I'm not the Lone Ranger, and that's becoming evident daily that shit is happening now that we all do not want, never asked for, and is being forced upon us.

 I haven't gotten my Computer Problems fixed either to find all those missing Archived Photos that disappeared when my PC updated itself, but, I'll just Blog thru it until it's figured out what happened?   Or, just resign myself to getting new Images.  Not easy, since, not going anywhere or doing anything limits that considerably these days during my Recovery and the Financial strains of The Unexpected.  The Niece will be here by Spring and she's a Computer Jedi, so, hopeful they are somewhere that can be Found.  She said a lot of things allegedly Lost aren't, you just have to know how and where to find them and retrieve the Data.  I sometimes Wish I were more of a Tech Nerd to figure out all this on my own, but, I'm Tech Challenged and freely admit it without shame.  *LOL*  

This Image once got me temporarily Banned off The Book of Faces for being too obscene!  *Bwahahaha*  It's an 1800's Cabinet Card of a Victorian Era Bohemian Woman, nothing Obscene about it, I've seen fucking Porn on some folks Feeds.   So, Pleeeeease on the exaggerated histrionic Pious Pearl Clutching FB!  *LMAOROTF*  But, I digress, if it turns out to be something really simple and easy to fix, I'll feel stupid tho', the Kiddos can make it all seem so easy and effortless, can't they?   I literally see Infants with a Cellphone that know more about the Technology and working it than I do, it's a bit humiliating.  *Le Sigh*  That said, I'm not addicted to Technology so, there's that benefit.  Other than Blogging, I never really use my PC and rarely am on the Phone either.  I get annoyed if too many Calls come in, it interrupts my Day to have too many Phone Calls.   And I'm sure this PC and my Phone can do so much more than I'll ever use them for.

Anyway, we finally got some Rain, it had been One Day away from matching a Record for the number of Days of NOT having Rain, which, in a Desert, it pretty profound.   We don't get a lot of Rain anyway, getting less of it and even less frequently, is a very Big Deal.   So, it's Rained now for Two Days and we really needed it, so, no complaints about how Wet, Damp, Cold or Gloomy it made things.  *Smiles*   The River thru the Nature Preserve had been running fast and very high, so I knew it was likely Raining somewhere else from it's Source up North and perhaps heading our way.  That's how you usually can tell in advance.

Princess T got sent Home from Work Yesterday coz she was throwing up, but Today she Soldiered on and went in.  She has a lot of Stomach Issues and Anxiety Issues so it's not uncommon for her, but it is miserable for her.   The Toe I banged is still sore and looks bad, I'll probably lose my Little Toe's Nail on the Left Foot.   I have to really watch Foot injuries with being a Diabetic.   I'd told The Man to tidy up shit he had left on our Bedroom Floor lying around.  Coz in the early Mornings when I'm having to get the Grandchild to Work, I don't turn on the Light coz he's still Sleeping.  Plus, I'd have to get over to the Light Switch in the Dark anyway.  So, I don't need to be banging into shit I can't see and isn't where it should be.

He's been building what we refer to as his 'Fort' around his Media Chair in our Bedroom, which is also on my Side of the Bed.  He's got stacks of Books, Shirts, clutter that are his, and it's really gotten out of Hand. But he likes it and resists re-organizing it to be more functional or aesthetic.  He just makes it tidier looking when I complain about it.  I choose my Battles wisely but I'm decluttering the Home and so that little Fort he's Created is the last bastion of clutter that I don't know how much Success we'll have to eliminate it?  *Le Sigh*   And Lord knows I've been the Queen of Clutter myself, so I'm not Judging by any means.  *Blushing*  It's his one Spot so I don't mess with what's in it.

The Daughter has really, really aided me in decluttering and organizing the rest of the House, the RV Garage Mahal and the Art Studio.  It's been invaluable and she's very good at it.   Housekeeping for other people is what she excels at and she actually enjoys the doing of it.  It's something she knows she does well and that is something people need help with, especially Older people.   So, she doesn't resent doing it for me and I've given her carte blanche to do it as she sees fit to just do it.  I'm not micromanaging her and she asks if she thinks she's not catching my Vision for a Space or the Objects in it.

I was watching the Bernie Madoff Story, "Madoff: The Monster Of Wall Street" {2023} on NetFlix and he reminds me so much of what 45-47 is doing that the parallels are very striking.   I remember the whole Madoff Ponzi Scheme, and questioned it long before the Powers that Be did, as did just a scant few other folks in Finance, especially the Numbers people who knew it was impossible Mathematically and very sketchy.  Enablers caused it to go on for Decades.  In 2016 there were some Articles written by folks who thought the 1st Term of 45 was a Ponzi Scheme, but few paid attention to them either, just like they didn't with Madoff, and that was a catastrophe of coarse, to the tune of $65 Billion... yes, with a "B".   It was the ruination of many Victims.

  Orange Ponzi is more a Political Ponzi Scheme of promising Huge Rewards without the ability to Deliver.  And folks always want huge Rewards even if it all sounds too good to be True and should be a Huge Red Flag.  But, a Ponzi Scheme is Fraud any way you cut it or roll it out.  And it's not as if he's not committed Financial Fraud, he has.  He's committed Bank Fraud, Tax Fraud and Political Fraud, yet, has gotten away with it, so, unlike Madoff, who finally got nailed at Age 70 after Decades of getting away with the Con and the Lies, nobody has Successfully stopped this Racketeering Conman and Liar yet. 

 Both surrounded themselves with Loyalists and those who'd do their Dirty Deeds and Coverups with them tho', enriching themselves along the way and Living Large.  And the Legit can rarely, if ever, compete with a Fraud.  Becoz a Fraud is luring in the Marks with the Promise of Huge Rewards that are not actually possible or viable in Reality or Honestly, coz, it's Fraudulent.   And sadly Greed and Fear can always be exploited and Played, far too many people have both and it makes them easy Prey for the Predators who use one or both against them.

I watched a NetFlix Psychological Thriller Mini Series called "Eric" {2024}, it was a Dark and pretty Crazy storyline about a Puppeteer, his missing 9 Year Old Son, and a Giant Monster Puppet in 1980's NYC.  Did not know any of the Actors in it but watched all of the Episodes.  I'm glad I have NetFlix since I'm not doing much else these days.  It is making Blogging more challenging when there's really a sameness of Days with not much really going on to Write about.  But, it is nice to just Gel at Home, I could get used to this and have no complaints.  *Smiles*  Tho' I do admit I sometimes get so Lazy I stay in my Jammies all Day and don't bother to do a damned thing with my Hair, so, I'm a real Vision on those Days.  *Bwahahaha*

I probably should Care, but I don't.   I have even gone to pick up Princess T at Work like that if I don't get out of the Truck and she's already waiting for me Outside.  *LOL*   That sends a strong Message not to ask me to take you anywhere, unless you want me going in like that to where ever you think you wanna go?   And you know how mortified and embarrassed Teens can be about us on a Good Day?! *Winks*   I had only just realized that my Cute Boho Camper Print Jammies were on Sale becoz... the whole Print is Upside Down!!!  {See Above Selfie, and Yes, I Suck at Selfies... LMAOROTF}   Why I didn't notice that when I bought them, I couldn't tell ya!   I wonder if the whole Shipment of the Line was fucked up and sewn Upside Down by Mistake?  *LOL*

I'm really reaching for Blog Fodder, I wanna Blog, but my Writing and overall Mojo is seriously compromised right now.  *Le Sigh*  The general Malaise that I Feel is probably just picking up on the National Vibe of the Moment, which is anything but Positive or Uplifting.  I'm am Empath and so that tends to happen.   On a Personal Level I'm dealing with some stuff too, aren't we all, but I'm moving thru it okay and in the right Spirit to ensure the Victory over challenges of the Moment.   The Daughter decided she's going back to DES in person about applying for Nutritional Assistance and just telling them she's too Disabled to do the Online Application, which, she is.  They know they'd have to assign her an Advocate if she requests one.  She could make her Case much more complicated than they wanna bother with.  *Winks*

I knew she'd get to that place of Psychotic Militancy if they didn't accommodate her.  If you think Dark Dawn is a Trip, when The Daughter goes Psycho and totally in Schizophrenic Mode on 'em, well, it will be Dinner and a Show.  *Smiles and a Snicker*  She's frustrated with The System and it is FUBAR and likely to only get worse with the Incoming's Fuckery and callousness towards the most marginalized of Society. She won't be told "Let Them Eat Cake", she'll be signing up for Guillotine Duty and Sharpening the Blade screaming Off With Their Heads!  *LOL*   So she wants to get some while there's still some left of the Services and Benefits she should qualify for.  She just isn't that willing to perform a gratuitous Circus Act for them and have it be a Dog and Pony Show to get 90 Days worth of Food Stamps for the Year, you know?   She'd rather earn it, but, she's basically considered Unemployable, so, here we now are.  We are 100% responsible for her Care and Support at the Moment or she'd have NONE.

In Mexico she had Wealthy Friends who took Care of her and she took Care of them.  She doesn't have that here, America is less Charitable towards the Mentally Ill.  I've kept her busy here at Home doing what I really do Need and making her feel as though it's Enough, but I know she wants to feel like she's not a Charity Case.   And becoz neither The Man or I is a Medicaid Recipient, she couldn't get a Stipend for doing any Caregiving, even tho' she does the bulk of Cooking, Cleaning, Maintenance of our Property, and helping us with everything while I'm Recovering from the Stroke and her Dad requires Full Time Caregiving.

  The Criteria to Qualify for any Services and Programs is geared towards being  a Flavor Of The Month Design on Purpose, to exclude most Applicants and have them be Denied.   The Home Nurse agreed and why she was making strong Recommendations that The Daughter receive SOME Services, however sparingly parsed out.   She didn't think it was Right that we're expected to still fully Support a Middle Aged SMI Disabled Adult Child.   And you shouldn't be put in a position, nor your Disabled Child, to have Services Denied after said Child has now become an Adult and should receive consideration based on Need and independent from their Aging Parents.  If they are unable to provide for themselves it shouldn't be expected you have to do it and provide everything indefinitely, or they'd be left destitute. 

Well, what is Right hardly matters in America right now, clearly, so, we'll see what happens?   I think most Americans are gonna hafta look out for themselves and one another, becoz the present Government installed is not looking out for any of our best interests at all.   A Recession is looming close and if it doesn't bottom out into a full blown Depression under such poor Leadership I'll be pleasantly Surprised.  But, I'm not expecting pleasant Surprises at this juncture, given what's transpired barely a Week in.   My expectations are low and I don't even have Guarded Optimism frankly.  In fact, I have very bad Premonitions of what the Future holds and it is disturbing to me since there's no avoidance of it... Fate will just play out as it is gonna now.  It is gonna be the Dark freefall down The Rabbit Hole now.

The Man is watching The News, since, I'm not and thus he's suddenly feeling the Need to watch it all the time now.  *Eye Roll and Le Sigh*  It's not sinking in with him Why I'm NOT watching it, explanations with someone who has TBI and early Dementia are a complete waste of Time and Breath.  *LOL*  So, he's telling me about the newest Airline Disaster where a Blackhawk Helicopter just crashed into a Commercial Airliner killing everyone and sending it into the Potomac River in DC... Splendid.   Now, how something like that even happens, I just can't even begin to Imagine.   Seems traveling by Air has begun to be riskier than ever tho', that's a Fact.  Almost as risky as sending our Children to School and expecting it to be Safe.  They're dropping out of the Sky like Flies for one reason or another these days now... Planes, not School Children.  I never liked Flying, I would like it even less now.   There's nowhere I Need to go bad enuf to risk it.  And I'm glad we no longer have Kiddos in School we're Raising either.

The Niece, whose a Tech Guru and works at building Computer Programs for her Company just told me it's not just my PC Update that is problematic and in recent days dumped a lot of my Data.  It's happening across the board and even they haven't been able to work for Three Days now coz it dumped a lot of the necessary functions they require and it wasn't anything they could control happening.  She's convinced this Administration is manipulating what is being rolled out and done away with Technologically.   So, I don't know what to think about that possibility except that it will put Americans at a distinct disadvantage to have their Technology mandatorily manipulated and breached by their Government without their consent.  Scary stuff.  Very reminiscent of a dystopian George Orwell 1984 cautionary Tale.

The Niece had called me when I had Wished her a Happy Birthday Online and then told her I was having Computer Problems when she asked how it was going?   She's Forty-Something now and still Single, so we don't fixate on the Years flying by without a Partner.   She's a Wonderful Gal but the Dating Pool out there, according to all my Middle Aged Kiddos who are Single, is brutal and they'd just rather not step into those Waters.   I'm glad I'm not a Single Senior, I know for damned sure I wouldn't be entering the Dating Pool without a Harpoon and some Shark Repellant.  *Bwahahahaha*   I know a lot of great Guys who are Seniors and Dear Friends of mine, but, I wouldn't Date any of them if I was Single.   I know myself too well and just the Time and Patience required to be replacing and training another one is completely out of the Question.  *LOL*  The Man jokes he's been trying to get me to get rid of him for Years, with no Luck, I won't even allow him to Die.   *Winks*

 

I joke back that I Love you too much, you Old Bastard.  *Smiles*  Anyway, I made Maple Pecan Pancakes this Morning, The Man's turned out prettier than mine but he ate them before I could use his for Blog Fodder.  So, my less pretty Pancake had to suffice for Food Porn.  *LOL*  They tasted really good in spite of not being particularly Editorial.  Well, his was, I don't know why mine wasn't?   Mine wasn't even Round, mebbe I was going for the Shape of a Country or something, I dunno?!  *Ha ha ha*   As you can tell I'm desperate for Fresh Blog Fodder Imagery when I'm even Photographing Ugly Pancakes.   Desperate Times, what can I say?  *LMAOROTF*  The Daughter Organized and Cleaned the Fridge, so it's a Vision in there now.  Sometimes it gets out of Hand when you have a lot of folks Sharing a Fridge.

Shit gets shoved to the back, people forget what they even have in there if it's not readily visible and becomes long forgotten, so, we had to do The Purge.   Now it looks like some Display Fridge on a Showroom Floor of an Appliance Company.  *LOL*   She's Organized the Pantry and all the Cupboards in the Kitchen too, so now we know what we have on Hand and what we're running low or out of.   We're pretty stocked up on Non-Perishables and even Frozen Foods now, it's just the Perishables I have to shop for often now.  You can go thru a lot of food with Five or more People in the Household tho'.  Once we're up to Six again when The Young Prince returns Home, my frugality of stretching a Buck to ensure that Food Security for a Three Generation expanding Household remains viable, will be challenged all the more.  Half the People in the House will be Grown Men, they consume a lot to keep Alive.  *Winks*

 

I've re-written part of this Post a couple times now and deleted most of it coz I just rambled too much.   Or, got off on Topics that in retrospect, I just decided not to Publish, not relevant or a good Read, so, not worth Publishing.   I don't mind doing that, sometimes the Stream of Consciousness goes off Track.  *LOL*  Way off Track sometimes.  *Winks*   Most of the Thoughts came after I inserted Pixs from the Photo Archives I have left that Triggered a Thought or a Story.  I enjoyed the Nostalgia of it all but didn't necessarily need to Write about all the Nostalgic Memories or Moments, not particularly Blog Worthy.

But, I found some Cute Pixs of The Young Prince as a Child, he and his Sister were my little adorable Brown Babies when they were Younger.  They were swarthy for a long time, but they lightened way up as they grew Older to where now both have Porcelain complexions as Adults and look less Ethnic.   I lightened way up from when I was a Child too, but, not to the Fairness they did.   Princess T can't Believe how Brown she used to be compared to how Weta she is now and asked me how that even happens and I just don't know.   You're still all Cute tho', I told her, and they can catch a Tan quickly and easily.   Which makes them the Envy of their Friends who can't get that Coppertone Complexion.

The Young Prince did mention that if he was that Complexion now he'd probably end up getting rounded up and Deported to Mexico or South America even tho' he was Born here and is an American.  He could be Right, so I'm glad they're bright skinned as Adults, even tho' they do have Hispanic Surnames, which is the give-away that they are Hispanics.   And with also being Gay, he is concerned about the Rights being taken away and the amped up discrimination and being Targeted by this Administration due to that as well.   The Trans Community especially has been Bulls-Eyed to a ridiculous degree to go after and dehumanize, to where its become even more unsafe for that Community to just exist, let alone Peacefully so or with any Human Rights left intact.

And, it does concern me how many of their Rights are going to be eroded or taken away, now that the slippery slope has allowed hard Won Rights to be messed with and set a dangerous precedent?   Sometimes we do forget how turbulent the Past actually was and what other challenges and National Crisis have had to be dealt with and moved thru over Time.   So, I'd like to think we'll meet, deal with and move thru these current ones too.   As a Collective we can overcome more than we think we can as a Society, but it will take a Group Effort and participation, you can't always just be a Spectator and expect things to improve.  Ya gotta get in The Game and be a Player.

Since the Incoming have taken over The White House our Sales at the Antique Mall have been in Freefall.   Last Pay Period was abysmal, but I only ended up Owing the Mall about Forty Bucks, which, wasn't catastrophic as a Loss.  Of coarse I had that Comic Book & it's Display heist, which was about a $100 Loss, so it wasn't a good fortnight either Economically speaking.   This Pay Period has been even worse and unless I Kill it in these last Two Days of it, well, a bigger Loss!   Now, to be Fair, unlike many Vendors who've Owed astronomical amounts of Rent becoz their Sales don't cover their Overhead, there has only been about 3 Times in all these Years since the Mall Opened that I've Owed minuscule amounts and not made a Profit.  So, I've done Well and weathered any ups and downs.  Some Checks have been smaller, but I got Paid, you know?

 

All of Three times that I Owed it was way less than $100, usually as little as $12.  So I'd let it roll over and make it up next Pay Period and they could take it out of my next Earnings without even Writing them a Check ever for Rent.  Even during times when I suspended pulling Shifts to earn Comped Rent.  This time might be different, never have I Owed anything for a whole Month to the Mall, I always Sold enuf to cover all expenses and still make a Profit before now.   And it is January, which is usually a stronger Sales Month, it's the Summers in Arizona that are lean in Sales usually, not Winter when the Snowbirds are here and there's lots of Events to draw Tourists like PIR Race Car Events and various Pro Baseball Teams doing their Practices here.  One of the Pro Teams has their Practice Fields walking distance from our Home.   But, none of these Visitors seems to be spending discretionary income right now like they usually do... I think they're all scared the Economy is going off a Cliff?  They could be Right.

 

I'm also seeing a lot of Vendor Move Outs and that's when I had my Theft, so, likely it was an Exiting Vendor that boosted the Comics and Display and they'll just Sell them Online?   Smalls are easy to hawk Online and not get copped as Hot Merchandise unless it's a OOAK item.  A Specialty Vendor once had some Raw Copper heisted at the Mall and since it was Unique in Shape and expensive, he was able to cop the Thief Online trying to Sell it all on E-Bay.  So, he was not able to recover his Merch, but he was able to press charges successfully on the Seller with the evidence that it was his Stolen Merchandise they were Selling.  Whether they were the actual Thief or not I don't know, but they were in possession of the Stolen Merch and Selling it, so, they'd have to sort out that Mess.   How they got it out of the Mall was rather ingenious tho'.

 

Tho' it is rarely ever used by The Mall there is a Receiving Area and Bay in the back where you can load and unload large items or Truckloads of stuff at the Ramp leading up to the huge Garage Style Doors.   The Mall only ever uses that Back Receiving Room for additional Storage that some Vendors Rent from them to Store excess, rather than Renting Offsite Storage for Inventory they don't have in their Spaces yet.  Well, someone had left the Garage Style Doors up about an Inch or so and the Thieves had positioned someone back there to slide the large Copper pieces, which were flat but quite significant in Size, under the Door to their Heist Truck and Driver on the Outside to load up and then take off.  Nobody saw them since there's no Security Cameras back there, or, there wasn't at the time anyway, perhaps now there is?   Few Employees even go to that Back Room coz it's Roped off.  Unless you are Renting Space back there you'd have no reason to be back there. 

We have so many Vendors that you can't and don't know everyone.  Vendors rotate in and out all the time, so very likely, the Thief already was or had been a Vendor, or acted like one, and so didn't draw suspicion that they weren't one and shouldn't be back there handling anything.  Anyway, it's Rare that Shoplifters get caught and even Rarer that when they are they get Prosecuted these Days, since Police don't even take Theft Seriously anymore and act annoyed to even Write a Report or have you want to Press Charges.  This is Why petty Theft is way the Hell up and Victims aren't receiving any Justice whatsoever.  Without consequences, it's become profitable for Thieves to do what they do with no fear of reprisals.   This is an unraveling of The Rule Of Law that is only worsening and heading towards a Lawless Society gone Rogue.  Once it has, things will be very Mad Maxx Apocalyptic for regular Law Abiding folks.  I'm concerned about the dismantling of our Justice System along with elimination of Checks and Balances.

The Above was The Son's Graduation Pix, part of a Portfolio we did with Duke Photography, which, after Decades in the Business, has now Closed it's location.  I don't know who is doing Graduation Photography now Professionally?   Of coarse, with the advent of Digital Photography and the Quality of even Cell Phone Cameras these Days, you don't even see the Old Photography Studios in Big Box Stores anymore that take Professional Pixs of Families.  I remember when JC Penneys, Wards, Sears, K-Mart, Target and even Wal-Mart had a Photo Studio on site.  Now they don't.  You used to be able to print Hard Copies of your Photos at those Locations now you don't.  I now order my Hard Copies Online and they Mail them to me, which is convenient, but not instant.  And, like my Kids told me, Who even does that anymore but you, Mom/Gramma?   True that.  I'm probably their Best Customer.  *LOL*

 

I used to keep all my Photos in Photo Albums, but it was taking up a lot of Space.   So one Year, while living here, we all went thru the Albums and removed all the Photos and put the ones we decided to Keep in Vintage Suitcases for Storage.  We discarded all the rest of the Photos we no longer felt were relevant or had any attachment or specific Memories of.  With Pathological Picture Taking for Decades, I'd Photographed a lot of random stuff.  *Smiles*  Now I just keep it all on the small Camera Memory Cards.  I had a lot of Online Photos Stored in those Photo Archived Files, many of which are now Poof and Gone, no telling where in the Ether they went.  I am Hopeful to retrieve them someday tho' and somehow, but, not sure if it's possible or not 'til The Niece gets here to tell me.   If she can't recapture it, then it can't be done and isn't there to retrieve.  She's highly suspicious right now of what the New Govt. is doing to our Technology and intentionally eliminating?  Me too.

The Renaissance Festival is coming up soon, February thru April, I can't wait for the Fantasy Escape it will afford us and Hope that The Young Prince and The Niece are here to join us in attending by then?   Above and Below are just a couple of the Old Images during previous attendance that didn't get Lost with the Imagery Dump my Computer did to me.   I am enjoying perusing the few remaining Photo Archives to see what I still have left that hasn't disappeared into the Ether?  It's very random tho' and not by any particular Date or Folder, some just disappeared while others didn't and who knows Why?    You can tell by Princess T's countenance in the above Pix that she wasn't Feelin' being Photographed, she was rather Over it.  Tho' she had gone out of her way to look Cute, I remember she Hated her Hair that day and that's enuf to Sour her completely and make her have Teen Angst, being uncooperative and dour.  Fun Times. *Bwahahahaha* 

I do think most of us could use some lighthearted Escapism tho', it would be good for our Spirit and our Souls.   I think the Mental Health of America is in a precarious spot right now, I really do.   People failing to Cope in Healthy ways leads to an increase in serious problems.  And they become problems all of Society will be having to Deal with.   And desperation makes for desperate people to do unspeakable things.  Since the Present is so FUBAR right now, I find that my Adult Kids and Adult Grandkids are asking me more and more about the Past and what it was like.   I keep it 100% and tell them that The Good Old Days weren't always Good and certainly not Good for everyone.  So, I'm not a Rose Colored Glasses kinda Gal when Looking Back.  Some of it was fond Remembrances and a fair amount of it was NOT.  The Kiddos know I Keep It Real and even my Adult Kids recall what wasn't so Great about even their Past when Looking Back.  But, dredging up The Good Times is enjoyable and so sometimes we do among ourselves.  Remember When... 

So, Princess T is in her Talking about Boys Phase of Life with me.  *Winks*  So, she was asking about what Boys I had a Crush on when I was a Teenager?  And I recall having a big Crush on a Friend's Older Brother. The Old Yearbook Pix and I Lusted over for Years. {Above}. *LOL*  BTW: He's still Dreamy as an Old Man. *Winks*  Their Mom was also British and their Dad an American GI of Color, our Dads met our Moms when Stationed in Great Britain in the early 1950's, and our Families were stationed back in Great Britain during our High School Years in the early 1970's at the end of our Dad's Long Military Careers.  I went to High School with his Two Younger Sisters {pictured Below}, the Youngest being a Friend of mine.  The Older one being the Girl I wanted to BE like or even BE when I Grew Up.  *Ha ha ha*  She was the kind of Gal to have a Girl Crush on and Fan Girl.  The Younger Sister, my Friend, was more like me, awkward Young Underclassmen with a lot of Cool Friends, but, not being that Cool so Boys noticed that we even were the Opposite Sex.  *Le Sigh and LOL*  Remember when a Senior seems Sophisticated? *Smiles and LOL*

So, my Friend's Older Sister we thought was so Fly, and she was, for the very early Seventies version of Fly.   And we Copied her a lot.  *LOL*  We wanted to BE her after all, when we Grew Up.  *Bwahahhaaha*   Her Younger Sister and I were very Skinny little Hippie Tomboy Waifs and not so Fly, but, we were trying to get to a level of Sophistication and Flyness that Boys might notice us.  They didn't.  Nope, in fact, she and I were Popular with all the Popular Guys, but, seen as One Of The Guys and just had all the Flyest Dudes as our Best Friends.  Dammit!  You never move out of Friend Territory once you're in it, as more Mature Women know and Young Gals come to find out.  Now, granted, Popular Guys who are your Besties will usually be your Besties for Life, so there's that.  It's not as volatile as Romantic Liaisons are, where one day you're In and the next day you're Out.  But, you're never gonna be someone's Girlfriend either.  Your Hawt Guy Friends will want you to hook them up with your Hawt Gal Friends, of which I did have a lot of those too... but, that will be your Role.  *Le Sigh and Double Dammit*

 

So, my Friend, their Little Sister {Above}, and I were in THAT Role, she had the Hawt Fly Big Brother and Big Sister we aspired to Be, but weren't quite there yet.  I don't know I ever Got There in High School, being a Hippie Wednesday Addams, but, whatever.  *Smiles*  Our Popularity was different, we knew all the Cool Kids and they were Friends of ours, but we were not ONE of the Cool Kids.  In fact, we were probably very much like Princess T is right now.  She is the Fashionista that we were in our Day too, but one of the Stand Out Attractive Weirdos few Guys ever asked out.   I remember my Friend and I being very much THAT Girl. *LOL*  Below is a couple of Pixs of me of the time period, I never wore Makeup or did my Hair and neither did my Friend, we were Hippie Nature Gals, always Au Natural.  Still am.  And it wasn't until the late 1980's that The Man and I met and Married.   His Vietnam Era Pix is below the Pixs of me and of coarse it would have been creepy and inappropriate if I'd had a Crush on him during that Time Period becoz I was 12 and he was Grown, Married to his First Wife, and had a Child.  *LOL*   I remember when I first met him and realized he'd Served a couple Tours in Vietnam and thinking, my DAD Served in Vietnam, how OLD is this Guy?!  *LMAO*

Now, in High School being Mixed Race was never a problem for us, coz a lot of Military Kiddos had Interracial Intercultural Families. So, there were a lot of us Heinz 57 Kids.   A fair amount of GI's were much more progressive and inclusive than the Civilian Sector ever have been, still are.   So, a lot of the GI's did marry Women from other Countries quite often and a lot of Minorities chose the Military as a Career and a way out of limited Opportunities in the Civilian Sector.   My Dad being one of them, they recruited off the Rez quite a bit, and so just about all of my Male Relatives have had Military Careers, either short term or being Lifers like my Dad was.   When you visit any Military Installation to this Day you will see a higher percentile of People of Color Serving their Country, and it's always been that way, I grew up around a very diverse demographic of People when you were ON BASE.  Off Base was always a whole other Story and World.  Often Off Base was relatively segregated when I was Growing Up.

  There were even some Assignments my Dad wasn't Safe to take right here in the U.S. becoz of being in an Interracial Intercultural Family.  In those days you'd put in for a Compassionate, and if you were Lucky you'd be Assigned to States of more tolerance.   I remember my Dad's Older Brother not being so Lucky and getting Assigned to a Southern State and his Family was shot at becoz they didn't want Indians in or around their Towns.  He got out of the Military after that, not wanting to put his Family in such Danger on our own Soil, his Wife is Cherokee, but was a bright Skinned Plains Indian, so sometimes people thought she was White with a good Tan.  But, my Uncle was a very Dark Indian and if his Hair was very Short, people thought he was Black.  Not many folks see Indians off a Rez or in Person, so, a great many have no Idea what an Indian looks like, they see so few, or not any at all in their Lifetime.  

Above is my Little Brother as a Freshman in High School, he was 6'4", thin and muscular, and had the best Hair and desperately tried {unsuccessfully} to grow Facial Hair, coz Porn Stashes were a Thing.  *Ugh, and LOL*  And Indigenous typically have very little Body Hair.  He got my Parent's Blue Black Hair and his was Curly like my Mom's was, I had Hair Envy, since I had the matchstick Straight Fine Hair of my Dad, but not even lovely hued like a Raven's Wing like the rest of my Relatives.  So, never much liked my Hair until I got Dreadlocks in my 60's.  Now, I like my Hair for the very first time ever.  *Bwahahahaha*   That said, Dreadlocks would have hindered my Corporate Lives had I decided to go with them back then... *Winks*, the Stereotypes abound when you're a Dreadhead.  More Stereotypes than when you are a Hippie actually.  *Bwahahahaha*   A lot of Hippies entered the Corporate World and did quite Well becoz they were Free Thinkers and Non-Conformists, which, can turn out to be handy in a Corporate Environment actually.

And, Above is The Man during his Tours in Vietnam, as a Baby Faced Young Assassin, Marine Corps. Special Forces Sniper, and long before I met him, since, when he was in Vietnam, I was 12.  *LOL*  He was Drafted before he even finished High School, so he never finished High School and had to get his GED After Vietnam.   He Married very Young and was a Teen Parent of our Oldest Daughter.   We reconnected with his Daughter when she was a very Young Teenager, she had been told that her Dad had Died in Vietnam.   His Ex had the Uniform that he had been almost Killed in, so, it was a Believable Story, his last Assignment had been a Suicide Assignment and only he and his Navajo Tracker made it out Alive.   But in really bad shape, The Man has 3 Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star he Earned while in Vietnam.   Among so many other Medals that are so numerous it looks like an SNL Skit when he'd put them on his Dress Blues.  Like Eddie Murphy impersonating Edi Amin Dada.  Remember that Skit where he had the Medals extending out on a Ruler?  *Bwahahahaha*

It took him Years to talk about what happened, even to me, they were on a Special Assignment somewhere we allegedly never were and it ended badly and they never got extracted as they should have been and had to find a way out themselves.  Remember the Movie "The Rock" {1996} with Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage?  Well, The Man said that is very True to Life to how anyone in Special Forces and their Families are 'Handled' and Denied, when a Government Operation goes Wrong.  He is still bitter about that, as he lost all but One of his Team becoz of it being a Suicide Assignment they were not told nobody expected any of them to actually Survive or ever be extracted as Promised.  And he had to tell the Families, since he was the Lead of the Team.  He said his Navajo Tracker could follow an Ant thru the Jungle tho' and since my Male Indigenous Relatives were often Trackers in Vietnam, I knew this to be invaluable to the Military.  So The Man is very fond of my Dad's People, he said they are Ride or Die in Battle and Fierce Warriors.

The Man has Mad Respect for the Australians too, he said their Guys only carried Bullets and Beer into Battle!  Instead of Water most of them had 'Fosters' Ale in their Canteens in Vietnam!   He said the Australian Military were Crazy!  *LOL*  He did his R&R in Australia during Vietnam and said they'd have a Bar Fight with the American Soldiers, knock your Teeth out, then Invite you to Supper at their Parent's Homes!   *LOL*  True Story of how The Man lost some Teeth and got Invited to Supper afterwards and became good Mates with the Guys they fought at the Bar!   He said it was all coz the Australian Gals were paying more attention to the American GI's, so the Australian GI's took Offense and started a Bar Fight over it.   

The Irony being that The Man was with a bunch of other Young Mormon GI's {Mormons used to be Segregated in the Military, a little known Historical Fact} and none of them messed with any Local Women or even Drank Alcohol!  Bars were just the Social Hangouts tho' for the Military and they were on brief R&R from a War.  He himself was Married with a Kid, so he wasn't even looking at any Single Gals trying to pick up a Guy!   So, he had no Skin in that Fight, but... no ability or opportunity to explain either!  *Ha ha ha*  He said those Aussies sure could Fight tho'.  *Bwahahahaha*   The Man is a damned skilled Fighter, but most of what he knows to do is not Self-Defense, it's the Japanese Street Fighting Art Of Killing, so, you can't use it in a regular Fight or you'd catch Charges.  So, he prefers to walk away from a Fight and not have to really hurt someone or risk having to Kill someone in Self-Defense.  It's like a Boxer getting into a Street Fight, their Hands are considered a Lethal Weapon.  So, they must be very Careful. 

As an Old Man, when he was already in his 60's and already seriously Disabled, a Big Young Thug tried to Assault him at a Convenience Store while he was at the Gas Pumps.  He put the Man thru the Guy's own Windshield and we had to inform Police to look for the Assailant at an ER coz he would definitely need Medical Attention.  The Man had broken Sunglasses and bloodied Knuckles, but, he was just Fine... yet, we had to report it to the Cops and to the VA due to The Man's Military Background and Skillset.  So, he'd rather not have any Situations with a Civilian or outside of a Wartime Situation.  And, besides, once you're an Old Man the best tactic is to Walk Away from any Drama or Violence prone folks.   And there's so damned many of those these days, Angry Violence prone people who are itching for confrontation and a reason to project their Hatred and Anger upon other people over trifles.

 

I'm actually Glad my Parents aren't around to see the condition of our Nation, they wouldn't recognize this America.  Or, perhaps they would... since their Generation did overcome so much that Future Generations just then began taking for Granted.   And it's a Shame, coz a lot of the Rights, Privileges and way of Life we've all come to Enjoy were hard Won, Protected and Fought for.   And we do a disservice to all who gave us that level of Freedom and Quality of Life, to just give it away now on a Silver Platter to those that seek to destroy it and take it away Forever.  Without putting up a Fight and being part of the Resistance.  I urge all of you to consider what you are willing to Fight for and what you are too willing to give away or Lose?

*******

I know my Loved Ones have done their part for Generations now... and I Honor them by doing what I can in the Here and Now... and to ensure our Future Generations still have some of it left... Dawn... The Bohemian