Blast From Pickin' Past... I Miss It

 I'm having the 3:00 in the Mornings so I just got done watching a brilliant yet eerily relatable Dark Comedy Special by a fav Comedian Christopher Titus called "Carrying Monsters".   A 90 Minute Special that was so much like parts of our Life parallels, that it was both Funny and yet deeply Emotional.  His Schizophrenic Insane Mom sounded so much like The Daughter, that he could have been talking about the same Person.  And so what he and his Half-Sister went thru was so similar to what The G-Kid Force have gone thru with their Parents, except that they were fortunate enuf NOT to have been stuck being Raised by Parents who weren't Well enuf to.  His Ex-Wife sounded like my Ex-Husband, and that level of Insanity with a deranged Ex. 

 I hadn't known his Dark Life Back Story that led him to be such a Comedic Genius who turns his Tragedies into brilliant Dark Comedy.  Pretty sure that's where I get my Dark Gallow's Humor from too.   His Mom and the Half-Sister who got stuck being Raised by their Unwell Mom, both ended up committing Suicide.  So he was incorporating very Dark Personal Stuff into the Special, no easy task.   His Dad was also a Train Wreck, but the Half-Sister of his Dad has turned out very well and a Success Story too.  So clearly tho' the Dad was also Unwell, was the better Parent on a Scale of the Unwell being tasked to try to Raise Children.   Titus was co-raised by both seriously Unwell Parents, so that had to be a very tough Childhood to Survive and move thru with resilience. 

 Not every Family has a Happy Back-Story. Making a brilliant Comedy Special out of an Unhappy one is Comedic Genius.   It makes me think of several other brilliant Male and Female Comedians that turned their Life's Tragedies into Comedy.  One I particularly like a lot is a Female Comedian called Ms. Pat.   I bought her Book "Rabbit" that is an Autobiography and have enjoyed her Comedy Specials, which make you Laugh about shit that's really quite Tragic, but transcends all she has gone thru into resilience, and rising above it all.  Anyone, even if they've never been thru some shit, can benefit from how she can make her Story relatable, in how to overcome whatever Life hands you and whatever Cards have been Dealt in it.  

I've been going thru some Old Photo Archives and Resurrecting Imagery of the Past of Places that are no more in the Industry that I still miss to this day.  Sometimes it doesn't seem like so much Time has passed since we had great Shops and Events that sadly went away.  Along with the Killer Primo Merch they used to carry, that also sadly has gone away.  Of coarse it saves me from Temptation now.  *Winks*  Junquing in the Past was freakin' Awesome, so were the Events, Trunk Shows, and OOAK Shops that used to Line certain areas of the Metro Phoenix Scene back then.  It's just a sad remnant now that remains of it all, a Shadow of what once was and is no more.  Even The G-Kid Force have remarked that nothing is as good as it used to be now.  They don't even bother going Shopping now, they Order Online to get the Good Stuff.  It ain't Local anymore.

I sometimes even forget how good it used to be until I'm taking a deep dive into the Pickin' Past and then my God do I Miss it!!!  I can't Believe sometimes how many good Events and Shops have been Lost in just the past Decade!!!   Mostly small Businesses, tho' some larger ones have bit the dust too and been Asset Stripped after being purchased by those Investors that profit off doing that kind of thing, they're like a Retail Chop Shop, only it's Legal.   But the small Businesses, they just weren't able to thrive no matter how good they were and how unique.  Rents went up, what people were or weren't Buying changed over Time, the Economy crashed and burned under Bad and blatantly Corrupt Leadership... it's just been a LOT to Weather the Storms of.

So, since there's not much to Photograph now I'm dredging up a lot of Fav Blasts from the Past when each day was a New Adventure and I couldn't wait to Trawl the Offerings and connect with Friends in the Industry.   Some moved away to less expensive States to Retire in or do Business in.   Some moved abroad when they saw America beginning to Circle the Drain.  And try to topple Democracy and all we used to Stand for and Fight to Protect for Future Generations, and could be Proud of rather than Embarrassed, Upset with and Ashamed of.  Some did just get out of The Game entirely even if they stayed Local.  Or had to reinvent themselves to keep going and not Close Shop completely.  Many have hopped around to different Collectives that tried to Salvage what was left of the Industry.

I did go to the Event, and glad I did, lots to Photograph for Blog Fodder, the Social Media Page hadn't done the Show any Justice in what they'd Photographed and Showcased.  Lots of Tempting items I'd of liked to have bought, had Budget permit and the Checkout Lines not been so long.  I didn't have the Time to dally coz Princess T was getting off Work early, so, I left without having spent anything.  *Gasp!  Yeah, I know!*  There was a Kantha Vest I would have loved to have bought and wanted to, had to put it back.  My Friend Big Kenny had some Architectural Salvage I would have liked to have bought too, had to put it back also, no Time to stand in long Lines to get checked out and it was moving slowly, but folks were spending.  That's a good Sign.

I did get to visit with my Friends there, both Industry Friends, all of whom were worried and concerned about The Man, and also Customer Friends who are regulars and I hadn't seen for Months!  I took loads of Blog Fodder to use in other Posts now, so will have some current Fresh Imagery to finally Share too.  I ate at the Indian Fry Bread House which is an Indigenous Owned Business that makes fantastic Native American Cuisine.  I had the Birrea Navajo Taco that comes with a Consomme', which was wonderful and enuf food I gave The Man half of it when I came Home.  I took The Young Prince to a Satellite DMV to replace his lost ID, it's right next door to where his Sister Works and took only about 10 Minutes, in and out and they only charge slightly more than the DMV, well worth not wasting your Time or your Sanity by going to the DMV then.  *Smiles*

So, it was a good Day and I was Home again before it hit Triple Digits, but, it was already 98 by Noon, so, it will get Toasty again and way above Average with record breaking Temperatures expected all Week.  The only Weird thing is it's 22 Degrees Hotter than usual all Day, but distinctively Cold at Night, barely in the 50's.  Which is over a 50 Degree Spread from Daytime to Nighttime and that's really unusual too.  So, after Dark it Cools off quickly and is Chilly, which Cools everything down.  I got my Utility Bill for February and it was quite low, but will likely be the only low one from here on out.  I didn't use Heat or Air Conditioning for all of February is why.  Now we have had to put the Air Conditioner on earlier than we usually do at this time of year.  But, that said, January and February weren't as Cold as usual either, so we didn't need much Heat on all Winter.

Sometimes I see a Book I want at an Event but it's Retail Price Point is off-putting to me but I can almost always find the same Book on E-Bay Auction.  The Book Below I saw at the Event and wanted, but didn't wanna pay $45.  I got it on E-Bay for 65% less and Free Shipping on a Buy-It-Now Feature, so, Color me Happy.  I am a Decor and Cookbook Fanatic, I have more of each Genre of Hard Cover Books than any Major Big Box Bookstore has!  That's not hyperbole, I really have that many Books I've accumulated over the Years.  I've Sold a lot of Books in our Showroom too, if a Book is particularly good and popular, if I see it at a Chazza I still Buy it if I have good Margins for Resale of it.   A lot of the Bargain Booksellers and The Mall have quit competing with Vendors now, so now we can Sell good Books again.  *Whew*  The Mall had it in our Contracts that they wouldn't compete against Vendors or allow Paid Staff to Sell there, but they violated their own Contractual Agreement.

What would usually happen is that if a Vendor hadn't Paid Rent in too long and had to be Evicted, their Merch was Seized by The Mall and they'd then Sell it for a fraction of the Value to recoup lost Rents.  And, in some cases Paid Staff would somehow end up with it and were given FREE Spaces to Sell it!!!   So, they were violating the Contract with Paying Vendors, allowing Paid Staff to get Retail Space without paying Rent on it like Vendors have to, and undercutting our Prices to hawk stuff they'd Seized and gotten for nothing.  It was a bad situation and many of us complained about it and had to pull our comparable Merch until The Mall liquidated all of theirs or took it out of there and didn't indulge in a Conflict of Interest.  

I got Two New Full Fancy Hand Soaps that are usually Sold at "World Market", at my Granddaughter's Chazza and another 30% Off their already Low Price coz it was Customer Appreciation Day.   When I was in the City Today I noticed the price of Gas was up over Five Bucks a Gallon at some Gas Stations already, it's standing at $4.69 at the lowest in the Metro Phoenix Area.  So, when on TV they say Gas MAY get up to Four Bucks a Gallon I have to shake my Head coz we've been hit with it being way up over that Price now for Weeks and going higher almost Daily!!!  The highest Price I saw was already at $5.29 on the way in to the City and on the way Home only a few Hours later it was up another Ten Cents a Gallon, that's how fast it's rising around these parts!!!   And, when I went to pick up the Granddaughter from Work it's already 107 Degrees on this last Day of WINTER!!!

I'm SOOO glad we got the 5th Wheel cleaned out and cleaned up before this intense Heatwave hit or we couldn't have done it!!!  Well, we could have turned the Air Conditioner on in it, but most of our Work was done Outside of it when we carted everything out there to sort, toss, etcetera, and that wouldn't have been comfortable in Triple Digits and for as long as we slogged away at it.  I haven't heard from her at all since the Day she visited her Dad directly after his Surgery, she may not even know he's not there anymore?  She hasn't responded to the Private Messenger I sent informing her that we had to go thru the 5th Wheel and why it got her kicked out now.   Not sure she even got the Message, coz I don't know if the Phone is working or she has access to Social Media now?  I want her to be Okay, but, she just can't be here if she's reverted to a Lifestyle that can't be on our Property since she's relapsed.  Don't even know if she ever did that 2nd Cleaning Job or not?

For Years now she's gone off the grid a lot, usually over Mental Health Issues, but sometimes due to Substance Abuse ones too.  So, it's not unusual, but, since she'd come back to live with us, she hadn't just disappeared like that again, so we were Hopeful she could continue doing better and that the Wheels wouldn't come off again.   The Kids aren't mentioning it anymore, I think there is a certain resignation they have that this is just who she is and what she's always done, so, nothing has really changed.  Perhaps the Illusion it had is what most disappointed them tho', coz, they wanted to Believe she was doing better and connecting more to Loved Ones in meaningful ways that benefit her as well as everyone who Loves her.   She had it good here and was being exceedingly Helpful, I won't discount that Fact.  Especially with helping me maintain the Home, Cook, Clean, help take Care of her Dad, help with the Projects needing to get done... but mebbe it was all just Too Much for her?

She got alarmed when I had my Stroke in December, I think she thought I was immune to growing Old and Feebler, I dunno, and now when her Dad's Health really Tanked, she completely went Off Rails about it.  She saw firsthand Maria's decline, the other Custodial Grandmother of Princess T and the Younger Siblings of our Daughter.  And that Scared her a lot, she helped Maria as much as she could, but said the bulk of Care and Maintaining things fell on her Kids, none of which were even Grown yet.   I think the prospect of the same thing happening here really was sobering to her and she couldn't stay Sober or Clean thru the Reality of it all, I dunno?   I think the Company she was keeping with this Boyfriend, just tipped things in the wrong direction coz I'm pretty sure he may have always been Using and I just wasn't Aware of that?  I know he was on strong Prescribed Cancer Medications and Treatments, but that they'd told him they could do no more, so he just quit going to his Oncologist.  He may feel he has nothing to Lose by Using Dangerous Drugs?

And I'm already feeling Overwhelmed by the sheer volume now of Appointments for Doctors, Specialists, Caseworkers, Agencies for several Family Members that I have to stack up on the Calendar, some Days have 2-3 Appointments coz there's no other Openings, and I'm the only Driver, One Vehicle, and trying to get the Grandchild to and from Work as well every Day.  So, it's just a LOT.  A lot of the Offices don't do follow-up well and so you've got to keep calling them and trying to squeeze an Appointment in for the suggested time you should be getting follow-up.  Most of these Doctors & Agencies are so busy you're Lucky to get in at all, let alone within the 5-7 Days they tell you that you should have to get in Post-Op.   I finally got the Cardiologist Follow-Up Scheduled, Humana is insisting on a Home Nurse Visit since his Health is Tanking, he has his VA Nurse Home Visits, and I still have to get him in to the Kidney Doc, who hasn't returned my Calls yet.

I've got The Young Prince trying to get all his Services too.  And Princess T has been having her Dental Issues and follow-up, since now her Insurance won't pay for the removal of the Wisdom Teeth impacted coz they're not "Diseased" or "Infected", I guess you have to wait 'til it's a fucking Medical Emergency then?  WTF happened to Preventative Care so you're not risking very higher risk procedures due to Neglecting to take Care of things when you should coz the Insurance Companies are Cheaping Out?  And making determinations that Override the Doctors and Dentists and Dental Surgeons that have ordered it to be done for the Patient's best interests!   You could bury them in Appeals, like I did for my own Issues with Health Insurance Plans that got cocked up due to this Regime's Cuts and such... but that's very Time consuming and I've got a full Dance Card, I don't have Time for all of that too.

 

I haven't been able to focus on my own Health due to how many in the Family have had True Health Emergencies recently that could have been Life Threatening so needed immediate attention and the priority.  My Doctor transferred, so I have no idea who will replace her.  She was also Princess T's Primary and The Daughter's Primary, so that sucked when she got a Transfer quite far from us so I doubt we'd follow her to that Clinic even tho' we really prefer her to be our Primary, she's that good.  But, I can't do super long Commutes to regular Appointments when we have Locations right near us that are convenient and easy to Schedule Appointments with.  But, I'm always nervous to change Doctors, coz I've had Doctors before that didn't work out or didn't help me Manage the Diabetes and Control it well and Stacy Anderson did.

So I owe her a Debt of Gratitude, her Care and Concern for her Patients is hard to beat.  She did what Diabetic Specialists for YEARS had been unable to do and she's a Nurse Practitioner, but I've found they have taken better Care of me quite often than even Specialists.!!!  So, I have no problem being assigned to a NP as my Primary Provider at all, they usually take more Time with you and connect better with the Patient due to taking their Time and really Listening and Evaluating things in a less hurried way.   Anyway, she seemed Happy with her Transfer so I wish her well, she's still with Abrazo, just a different Location she was splitting her Time with anyway.  I'm sure that was hard to try to be in Two different locations.  I've been to the other location to see her a couple times when I couldn't get in at this location coz she was at the other one half the time, it's just too far.

Anyway, I don't even have time to choose a different Doctor yet so may just let them Assign me one instead and see if it's a good match or not?  You can always ask for a different one if it doesn't work out satisfactorily.  I have no problem switching Doctors, I've done it before if things weren't going well with what Care I got from some Doctors that didn't have my Health up under Control and were trying too many things, to where it just got confusing and ineffective.  I don't like my Meds being constantly switched, it's not Cost effective for me and it's confusing as Hell and especially if what was prescribed just didn't work and wasted Money and didn't stabilize a Serious Condition that you can't leave Unmanaged or Worsening, like Type II Diabetes.   Stacy was on top of her Game for Managing that Disease and Partnering with me to keep it Stabilized, and keep me as Well as I can be, living with it as a comorbidity.

After everything I could do Today I did venture in to The RV Garage Mahal for about 15 Minutes to sort thru some things.  Too Hot to do much in there but The Daughter made a lot of progress and I intended to do more during Fall and Winter than I actually did... and now the Window of Opportunity has slammed shut due to early escalating Temperatures... dammit!   She of coarse won't be working on it now and she was the main Family Member even interested in doing any of it.  The Young Prince to a lesser degree, but he has Promised he'll Help now that his Mom isn't here to Partner with me to get that finished.  I really wanted to get it finished in 2026, I'm fed up with the long drawn out process of getting everything Moved In, Organized, sorted thru, from the Big Move of the end of 2019... we Closed in January of 2020 to Buy this and get Moved In.  We've doubled our Equity in that time, which is great, but it's taken longer than any other previous Move to get things Done around here!

Every Move seemed to take longer, but then again, every Move we were Older and had changes in how much we had in the way of Cargo, or Space, from Property to Property, which, makes a difference, all of it.  And Family moving in, moving out, moving back in... with all their Worldly possessions coming and going or being Stored here even when they weren't living here.  So, that disruption was constant and almost made you have to start over in reorganizing, finding Placement for everyone's things, Styling, making Room for each new Addition, then reclaiming Space, only to lose it again if they had to move back in.  I feel like we've Started Over here so many times now that we're re-doing what already has been done and undone several times now!!!  And thus, it's taken from 2020 to 2026 to just get the Main House in Order... the rest... has been a constant Work In Progress never actually finished.  I want all Space to be in Order and completely Functional, that's what I WANT... and is the eventual Goal before I Die!  *Le Sigh and LOL*

I have gotten previous Properties the way I wanted them before eventually Selling them and Moving again, starting over with a Blank Canvas and all that involves.   Moving itself is such an enormous upheaval, much more complicated in Retirement than it ever was when I was a Global Nomad and Traveled Light plus expected to move frequently.   In the Military, you Moved all of the time, and very often, so you got used to that and intentionally chose not to Own much in the way of Cargo.  I was probably over 50 before I began accumulating and switching from Minimalism to Muchness.   Plus, by then, The Man's Health had tanked and I was a Custodial Grandparent of Two from Birth thru, well, they'd Grown and still living with us!  *LOL*  I think my Coping mechanism was Retail Therapy and The Thrill of the Hunt became my Rush.  Collecting Beautiful things of Value as not only an Investment Vehicle, but a Positive Activity and surrounding yourselves with what brought Joy amid a lot of Hardships to move thru. 

We ditched a LOT of our original Plans for Retirement, had to adapt and improvise on The Fly at every turn as Life just played out as it just will and you can't possibly prepare for all of.   I had Paid Off Homes, Paid Off Vehicles, Healthy Investments, a Prosperous Career I would have Retired from later and not prematurely, an Active Social Life.  We intended to Travel extensively, be Debt Free, done with Raising a Family, focus on our Needs for a change and be Footloose and Fancy Free in Retirement Years.  That has all had to be adjusted drastically now for a slew of reasons that the Issues of Life just became the Hand Dealt.  I had to Let Go of a lot of the Vision and Dreams, which became okay as I just developed and cultivated a new Vision and new Dreams.  We've done Okay, it's not As Planned, but, what ever really is when you think about it?   I didn't even Plan my Children or the Raising of a 2nd Generation!  Yet, no regrets about Parenting either time, I'd do it all again becoz Family is EVERYTHING and our Highest Priority.

I sometimes do Wish I could spend more Time with Friends Socializing coz I enjoy them all when we do have some brief interactions, which have become very few and far between.  But we pick up where we left off and they're all great folks that I've enjoyed knowing now for a long time and tho' it's mostly Situational Friendships now that dominate our Socialization, that's Fine.  I don't know I'd have it in me to do more than that actually with everything else going on?  I like my Alone Time when I have it too.   I can be quite comfortable being Solitary, yet I can also be quite comfortable being Social, I'm probably more of an Extrovert than an Introvert, yet, I'm Nice to all of them and Close to few.  My Choice.  I think to have Closeness you really do have to Cultivate those Relationships and Invest in them and I'm spread too thin to do that properly and Maintain that level of Friendship.  It's just my Reality.

 

There was so much great Taxidermy for Easter at the Event, I wanted some, but it wasn't within Budget, Taxidermy now commands more than it used to and has gained in Popularity.  Mostly coz now we make it Whimsical, so even those who used to abhor it, are warming up to it a little more and sometimes decide to have some if it's Pimped Out in Whimsical Attire.   I just Loved the little Wings one of the Designers put on some of her Chicks and Ducklings.   Another Designer Friend put adorable Santos Crowns on her Ducklings and Staged them in Cloches, in Nests, inside Antique Loving Cups.  They were Selling fast, I'm glad, since I was so Tempted... good thing Budget constraints made me resist, along with the long Checkout Lines and no spare Time to stand in one.  *Winks*   There was a Kantha Vest I really wanted and Loved, had to ditch... and some Architectural Hammered Bronze Gothic Style Salvage Door Knobs with their Original Escutcheons.  And a couple of Ornate Metal Vase Base Stands.  *Le Sigh*  That's what I wouldda bought and didn't.

I briefly turned on the News and of coarse it's all Bad and worsening Daily now.  And OMG this Moron Racist Prez going to Japan to seek their Help and insulting them like he did!   He's such an embarrassment, what falls out of his Mouth in ignorance and crassness, knows no bounds!  He just says anything without any regard to how inappropriate and offensive.  Of coarse his Base just Love that about him, chances are they would like to say many of the same things, or perhaps even do, so he's made being Racist, Offensive and Ignorant openly tolerated and less shameful as the Ugly American Way now without apology!!!  I just Hope the rest of the World knows only about 39% of Americans are like him and Support such inexcusable horribly indecent Behavior, and the rest of us aren't and don't?   He's managed to Soil and damage our Nation's Reputation and Honor during his Terms, and break Trust and Good Relations with every other Nation, perhaps irreversibly and irreparably.  And he'll Bankrupt and Steal from America like he's Bankrupted and Stolen from everything else he's been in Charge of.

*******

The Fuckery continues unabated... God I Miss the America before the Cult of Trumpism ruined us... Dawn... The Bohemian

A Downplayed 37th Anniversary Around Illness Limitations & Caseworker Visits

 In Real Time it's still the 18th, our Anniversary, 37 Years, he still tells folks he'd of done less Time for Murder.  *LOL and Winks*  After The Young Prince's Caseworker leaves I'll probably go pick up a little Cake to Celebrate it here at Home, since, The Man is not feeling good yet and not bouncing right back after having had this Surgery.  His other Two Stents he had Surgeries for not that long ago, he didn't do so well after either.  So his Recovery Time is just longer now after something requiring a Surgical Procedure and anything implanted.  He's a high risk Patient even when having Elective Procedures done, like a Colonoscopy, so they just don't do them anymore unless it's Life Threatening to him.  The risks being too high according to every Doctor we've known.  He's building quite a Collection of these Stents!!!  If you have 3 or more of anything, it's Officially a Collection.  *Smiles*

Found out Irrigation isn't coming Today but will be coming at Four in the Morning on the 23rd... Splendid... Four in the damned Morning... wading around in the Dark, up to our Calves in Cold Water.  The Son has been doing it for me since his Sister and Mando are gone, and he's been doing the Yardwork.  But, Mando took all his Equipment, so now I've got to invest in a Weed Whacker.  The John Deere cuts the Pasture but around the edges you need those Trimmers.  I can't recall if the Hedge Trimmer was ours or his?  I did tell him to remove everything of his off our Property so we wouldn't have any reason for him to be on our Property without an Invitation to be here.  And there won't be any of those for several reasons now.  The Daughter will know she's Welcome to visit Family any time but she can't Live here if I can't trust that she's Clean.  If you're in The Life, don't come around even under the influence of Drugs. 

 I don't count MJ coz that's legal in Arizona and I've never personally had any problems with MJ users anyway.   And even at the DA's Office, I never processed a Single Case where an MJ User had committed any violent or serious Crimes, as a demographic they're usually Chill and too relaxed to commit Crimes.  Alcoholics are more problematic than Potheads and Alcohol causes more Social Problems and Crime related incidents than someone who uses Weed.  I don't partake, but now being Legal and regulated, it's even less of an Issue IMO.  Some may disagree with that opinion, we can Agree to Disagree.   It can be a Gateway Drug to those Individuals who are chasing a higher High, if you're that way inclined tho', you'll probably end up doing worse things anyway in Life overall and wreck your Life regardless of whether you ever were an MJ User. 

 The one thing I liked about MJ was, if someone Used, no matter how much or for how long, when they wanted to just Quit, they just Quit, without complications of any kind.  That said, even Prescription Drugs can be difficult to just Quit like that and can get out of control if abused or misused in any way.   More Addicts have been created by prescribing Pain Management Meds in particular, as a Gateway to becoming a Drug Addict.  So, I'd think more incidents happen under Prescribed Medications and lead to Illegal Drug Use from what Doctors Prescribed, that is Legal.  That's exactly how The Son and even The Man got hooked on Prescribed Opioids their Doctors ordered for them Legally, due to Work related serious Injuries.   And then they had a downward Spiral of being hooked.  Now both of them are afraid to even have a Surgery coz of not wanting the Pain Management Meds prescribed Post-Op.  They don't wanna relapse.  They'd rather be in Pain. 

Anyway, I have no Idea when The Young Prince's Caseworker is coming, he didn't put a Time on the Calendar and so I guess it could be anytime?  Sometimes Caseworkers just show up, so, I am rather used to that... they can be somewhat like someone's Parole Officer in how they monitor their Cases and their Clients.  *LOL*  I had asked him if he needed any assistance with his Room and he said he didn't, and his Friend Sadie had come over again, so did Bree, and he had both of them Help him with it too and so it might be okay for a Caseworker to ask to see, I dunno?  He's completely out of Nutritional Assistance he Qualified for from New Mexico now, so he will need to be enrolled in Arizona's Nutritional Assistance Program.   The Son had been Approved for 90 Days but only actually got 44 Days worth before it just ended, we know not Why?

He only got $49 for January, full Benefits for February, none for March.  It should have run thru Mid-April to actually be a full 90 Days worth of Assistance.  But, he really doesn't want the hassle of going in again in Person, they never help you at all in Person.  Then you have to try to get thru by Phone, which, NEVER happens either, for Months now he hasn't been able to get a Call Answered whether he calls right as they Open or allegedly when they Close.  He was told by a Caseworker, on the Sly, that they quit Answering Calls at 4:00 p.m. even tho' they're Open until 6:00 p.m. so technically should have been taking Calls for those last Two Hours!!!  Good to know so at least you're not wasting Two more Hours of your Life Daily trying to get them to answer a Phone Call they never will!  The only way he got what little Assistance he received was them FINALLY, since November, giving him a Date THEY would call him!

They didn't even wanna do that, but since he'd been trying since November, unsuccessfully, and it was already February, they relented and gave him a March Date to Call him instead.  Then they said he'd have the Assistance Loaded to the Card they sent automatically, reduced amount for January {who knows Why since he first tried to apply in fucking November, then December, then all of January too}... but they did give him full Benefits for only February.  Why they cut off March's Benefits when they'd said it was Approved, we don't have a Clue, but I can't say I'm Surprised.  This Regime is so Cruel they've cut Nutritional Assistance, the School Lunch Program, and numerous Assistance Programs for the Neediest Americans and America's Children, with the Spin it will Save Taxpayers Money... so they can then spend a BILLION DOLLARS A DAY of Taxpayers Money on an illegal and unnecessary War in Iran... go figure!!! 

If you can do even rudimentary Math, it doesn't take much Academic Acumen to know how many Americans a BILLION DOLLARS A DAY spent on our Citizens instead could do in the way of Good!   Rather than being a Warmonger who wants to Play going to War like it's his personal fucking Video Game and make him feel Tough and not so much like the Cowardly Draft Dodger who wouldn't actually Serve during Wartime when it was his Duty to his Country to.  Faking Bad Feet, definitely won't be sending his Sons or Daughters to Fight or to Die in this one either.  He's one of those Shit Talkers who makes other people back up his reckless Mouth and Fight his Fights for him.   And, to be sure, he has a Loyal Devoted Following who will gladly be Weaponized, so, I say, send them first to Fight in this War.   Some might even Support that!?

 All the most Devoted MAGA, the ICE Agents, should run to be Signed Up and Sent over to Fight his War of Choice, to show how Tough and Patriotic they really are for their Boy's Bad decisions.  Then I'll Believe they are REALLY Down for him.  Martyr for a Lost Cause Down for him.  Cult Devotion Down for him and willing to Die for everything HE, their Cult Leader, Believes in, or says he does, or makes more of a Grift off of... whatever.   When all of them have been Sacrificed, then, perhaps the Cult will finally be disbanded, as most Dangerous Cults have gone the way of in the Past, when their Cult Leaders Wheels have gone completely Off and they've been willing to Sacrifice every last one of their Followers.   How many American MAGA will voluntarily drink the Kool-Aide when that Time comes?  And eliminate a Future for their Children and Grandchildren?

  And any who did Escape and managed to Survive never have a Good Thing to say about what they got caught up in and now know was exceedingly dangerous and completely Mental.  Often Mental enough there were Child Sacrifices made.  And when the whole Epstein Scandal blows and is exposed, I won't be Surprised that already hasn't happened.  I've mentioned it in previous Posts, but a Friend I once had when I was in my 30's was a Gal named India who Escaped Jonestown when she was only 14, by running into the Jungle of Guyana and risking Death that way instead.  Her whole Family, including Younger Siblings, drank the Kool-Aide of Jim Jones, whether voluntarily or involuntarily.  India said near the End she knew he was Insane.  And she was only a Young Tween, but could discern that even tho' Raised in The Cult of The People's Temple. 

 She knew for sure he'd be the demise of all his Followers and anyone else he didn't Value the Lives of or would try to Stop him or Disagree with him, and we all know how horribly that Ended.  She said many Followers were fearful of leaving, knowing he'd have them Killed if they tried, that's how Cults tend to Work too.  You know you're in one when you try to Leave and what happens then... it's predictable.  Some have left MAGA and NOT Good things happened to ALL of them.  We're in that Territory with this President.   And it's very dangerous Territory, if you can't discern that by now you better Wake the fuck up fast, coz not being Woke means being Asleep... and far too many are Slumbering and trying to minimize the collateral damage happening daily.  Mebbe becoz it hasn't yet hit them full force, but, it will.

Our Caseworker for The Grandson, Caitlin, was excellent.  She brought a large St. Mary's Food Box with her for him.  She got him an Appointment with Social Security for a Disability Evaluation for SSI and at DES for Nutritional Assistance, Health Insurance, Prescription Coverage for his Medications and Mental Health Insurance.  Since he has Seizures she is suggesting when his Insurance gets Approved, his Primary schedules an immediate referral to a Neurologist.  He was on Seizure Meds but has run out, he's only got enuf Psyche Meds issues from New Mexico Coverage for about another Month, then he's out of that too.  I was pleased with how quickly she lined everything up for him and we really liked her.  When she knew our whole Family Situation she could see why we really have Need of Caseworkers for each Individual, it is too much for me to juggle.  Especially since it all already caused a Stroke last December.

When you have a Caseworker, all the other Agencies take your Case a lot more Seriously.  Social Security was surprised that since he was diagnosed as SMI since Age 7, we haven't had Help from them before.  We have applied, both when he was a Child and as a Young Adult, but didn't have a Caseworker as effective as this one Assigned to him, so were Denied each Application.   She did say sometimes you have to hire an Attorney to push it thru and just pay them the 25% or more they charge, which, is a shame, but sometimes it's a necessary Expense so you just don't get nothing and no Help, ever.  So, if he is Denied, then we fully plan to pursue it Legally this time, I kind of Over giving Social Security a chance to do the Right thing by him, he's almost 26, is unemployable and very ill... if he didn't have us, he'd be forsaken by Society and our Nation completely.

And I do understand that Services often are delayed or Denied depending on whether your Disability is Flavor of the Month.  Some types of Disabilities get loads of Funding and Services, while others are delayed or Denied any Services, despite extent of their Disability or severity of their Need and Condition.   Developmental or Physical Disability often gets the most Services and Serious Mental Illness often gets whatever is left over, or, none at all.  And there's no Cure, so, whoever has it, will have it Forever, so it's not like things will ever get better for them and how they Survive or even Exist will somehow improve.  To withhold Treatment and Essentials like Food, Water, Shelter and Care is just Cruelty and Inhumane.  We'd do better by a Domestic Animal that didn't have Food, Water, Shelter, Care or adequate Treatment.  I'm an avid Animal Lover, but, these are fellow Human Beings we're speaking of.

After his Caseworker left and we got everything on the Calendar, I went and got my Shopping done since we did get our Social Security Checks on the 18th.  I got less in my Check than any of the Social Security Letters I've been receiving say I should be getting.  So, perhaps that's why they keep also separately sending me Refund Checks now?  I enjoyed Photographing the Bakery items while Choosing what to get for our Anniversary Celebration.  I settled on one of the Fruit Mousse Cakes we all have come to prefer and Love, a mini Chantilly Cake, a Cream Puff, a Spinach/Strawberry/Feta Family Salad, and some Blueberry Muffins.  Everyone at Home should be able to find something out of that they would like to have and Two Cashiers came  up and told me how good everything in my Cart looked!  I get that a lot. 

 It's funny how many people will comment on how good what I Buy looks, or how Healthy and Fresh... as if they don't have the same Options of Choice!   I'll often get folks with Carts filled with Junk Foods and other Processed Foods, look in my Cart and mention how Healthy and Good it all Looks!!!  Well, you're here too, so, you can go get some of that in Aisles ______, ________ and __________, I didn't get the last of any of it.   And you're Right, it's really good, decent value, and mostly a Healthier Choice.  *Winks*  The Two Cashiers who came up to my Cart at the Self Checkout and told me how Good everything I was Buying looked, were Surprised at the Low Cost of some of it... and they WORK THERE!   The HUGE Spinach, Strawberry, Feta Family Salad also comes with Two Dressings and can easily feed 5-8 people, for only $9.99... for Example.   {See that Salad Below}

 The Blueberry Muffins were half price, since Bakery Items often go on Sale if not Sold the Day they're put out... and if you go either Before Closing or right as they Open and peruse the Discounted Bakery Rack they always have.   A lot of Deli Items also reduced in the same way, and saves you a lot of prep times and is invaluable if, like me, you're not a good or particularly Talented Culinary Jedi and Suzy Homemaker Domestic Goddess yourself.  *Winks*    I made us an Anniversary Dinner at Home since he wasn't Well enuf to go out to Eat and I wasn't feeling that great Today myself.  The air was heavy and it was 101 Degrees by only 2:00 p.m., so, just staying inside and using what we have was just the Wisest thing to do.   I made Baby Carrots with Baby Peas, Garlic Herbed Baby New Potatoes, and El Pastor cubed Beef with Fresh Cilantro grilled in Greek Olive Oil.  Then we had some of our Fruit Mousse Cake for Dessert.

The Food Porn is pretty Eye Catching, and even what I didn't Buy, looked wonderful and I told the Head Baker there at "Safeway" what a spectacular Job she's doing.  I was watching her Decorate a half Dozen Cakes at a time and she does it so fast it's unbelievable how Artistically Fabulously she manages to make them and so quickly!!!  That's skillful.  And they Taste as good as it Looks.   So, even tho' we didn't do anything for our Anniversary due to circumstances, which had to make the Anniversary part of the Day be Downplayed and worked around his Illness limitations and Caseworker Visits... it wasn't too bad and he's Happily watching his Shows, even tho' he certainly doesn't Feel 100%.  I still don't have a Callback yet from the Cardiologist Office or the Kidney Doctor's Office either, so that all still has to be Scheduled.  They are supposed to get him in within 5-7 Days after Hospital Release for the Follow-up, so that's on them, I've made contact and done my part.

The Calendar is filling up fast too with everyone else's Appointments and I'm the only Driver with a Vehicle here, so... whoever sets shit up first with us gets Calendar Priority.   It is rather overwhelming and a lot of Time spent at Hospitals, Doctor Offices, Pharmacies, Social Service and Government Agencies, Caseworkers coming to the House, ad nauseum.  Even ONE visit to any of those with ONE Loved One is usually Enough, but, times MANY visits with more than ONE Loved One is Too Much and thus just a LOT.  I'm glad that "Sweet Salvage" has their Event Tomorrow {Thursday} and I do plan to attend for some "Me Time" to step away for a Day from all the Seriousness and Hoop Jumping of it all.  The Theme is called "Show & Tell" which is a New one, so no Idea what that signifies really as a Theme or the Merch offered for it?  Even after viewing the Sneak Peeks on Social Media, I'm still not sure what the Theme signifies?  And it's still looking Pedestrian or 'Crate & Barrel' to me for the most part.

I only found One Image I Cribbed and then Edited to Crop the part that I Liked of the Vignette.  The rest really wasn't doing anything for me.  Nor was there anything particularly intriguing to me that would be anything I'd be Tempted to Buy.  I don't Need to Buy anything, so that's not problematic, the Budget right now isn't Liberal enough for me to spend anyway.  I'm hoping that in Person I enjoy it more than the Photograph Social Media Coverage of it, which underwhelmed me.  I know a lot of Work is put into every Event, that's not the Issue, what is being offered is just not my Aesthetic or that Interesting to me anymore.  I could go into most Big Box or Import Shops and find any of it, so, I wouldn't have Need to Source it at an Event, it's mostly mass produced, not particularly Unique, and readily available.   

Most Handwork of pieces is being Imported from 3rd World Countries who do a good Job, but, I don't require spending a lot to get it from Major Importers rather than an Event or from a Small Business or Designer and pay much more.   So, I am finding myself losing Interest and the last couple of Events I've attended I noticed a lot of Regulars are now conspicuous by their absence, they don't attend anymore and they have for Years, so, I doubt I'm the Lone Ranger in my Sentiments?  The Industry has changed, in fact, everything is changing and not a lot of it is changing in the most Positive ways now.   So, it's stagnating the Economy in many ways and making Consumers feel uncertain about America and our Future... or even the World's Economic Stability and Partnerships between Nations being at Risk?

I do want to Feel more Encouraged, but, I'm NOT Feelin' it, at all.  I did Source Two Bagged Lots of LPS Toys, first time in a long time I'd been able to do that.  They were at The Granddaughter's Chazza and she picked out about half of them, falling in Love with an Old Collectible all over again.  She now regrets how much of what she's Sold Off of her Childhood... and like most of us... is now Buying some of it back.  *LOL*  It's Okay.  I'll make enuf off the Sale of the rest, now we have a Locked Case we won't have the Loss Prevention Issues we previously had of how many LPS Collectibles got Stolen.  I had to take them out of Inventory for well over a Year due to Theft Issues being off the Chain.  Shoplifting is at an all time High in all Retail Establishments.  

 

 And Prosecution of these Thieves is at an all time Low, and it shouldn't be.  So many do it in the Company of their Minor Children or Vulnerable Elder Adults, which is a Felony then and bumps it up from being a Misdemeanor.  So many are Stealing high Dollar items, making it Grand Theft, not Petty Theft.   And many, I'm quite sure, may have been Repeat Offenders as well.   And there should be consequences for Criminal Activities 100% of the time to not encourage it and embolden Criminals, making it easier for them to Victimize their Victims.  And rest assured, there are NO Victimless Crimes.  We all pay for what Criminals create in the way of Losses from their Victims being ripped off and Victimized in other ways, it Costs us all as a Society.  And not just a little bit, it Costs us all a LOT.

I really try to keep things in perspective, I know so many Dear folks are going thru so much more than we are, taking things One Day at a time, and I think about them often.   I was so glad to see Blog Friend Shirley back, tho' moving thru a tender and unbelievably difficult time and enduring an unspeakable Loss of a Child.  I worry about my Blog Friends each time I know any of you are going thru some unimaginable Life Issues.   Life can and often does just hand us a lot to Cope with, Deal with, Recover from as best we can, if we even can.  Sometimes I just have to take a Deep Breath and then Exhale slowly, to attempt to Restore my Calm.  I think I had a bit of an Anxiety Attack later Today, after I got thru everything and then was trying to cobble together an Anniversary Dinner.  I almost burst into Tears when the shitty Modern Can Opener wouldn't Open a Can of Peas!!!  Yep, after all I've Coped with a been thru without shedding a single Tear or even Feeling Emotional about any of it... I almost broke down when a Can of Peas wouldn't Open!!!  *LOL*

The Man heard me Emotionally Yelling at the shitty Can Opener and Can of Peas, so came hobbling in, Wobbling like a Weeble, with his Skull of Death Cane... and opened the Can for me with a Fork, peeling it back from the part the shitty Can Opener had managed to cut.   The Son came in, hearing the Melee, and me almost sobbing over my Anniversary Dinner that was really being cobbled together badly.  He began helping me finish it up, it all got eaten and it was good, but, that was Lucky, considering the Emotional Wreck I felt like and Physically then not feeling 100% either coz I hadn't eaten well all day and hadn't been able to get The Man to either.  And with the Temps already exceeding 100 Degrees, I can't do much in the Non-Climate Controlled areas now, or Outside, so it's put a lot of Projects on premature Hold and it's not even Officially Spring yet!!!  Allegedly it's still Winter!!!  Some places are still having Blizzards, we got it being 101-106 already in Mid March!

Above is the One Image I Cribbed from the Event that Opens Tomorrow.  I Cropped it to show the Middle of what had been Photographed and held a little Interest for me.  I like the Vintage Glove and Shoe Forms, the Vintage Seed Boxes, Old Metal Rack and Loving Cup turned Planter.  The Seed Boxes intrigue me most and have been present at previous Events, they're priced too high for my Modest Budget or I'd Buy at least One.  To put my Packets of various Seeds in for Storage and easily finding them.  I have some Vintage Glove and Shoe Forms already and plenty of Loving Cups.  That one looks Newer than what I Collect in the way of Loving Cups, but I do like the unusual Green Color of some of those Vintage Shoe Forms.  Mine are mostly all Brown, I have a slew of them.  

If it's gonna be up over 100 as they predict it will be all Week, I won't wanna stand in any Lines being Hot tho' or have to Park in the Lower Forty... so, we'll see if I can find Good Parking or not closer to when the Doors Open?  If not, then there's other things I can Opt to do Downtown instead so as not to have made a wasted Trip with the ridiculously High Price of Gas.  You see, at almost Five Bucks a Gallon, I'm not doing any Recreational Driving around, there has to be Purpose behind every Trip now so I'm not Wasting Money we don't have.   There have been times that if an Event is too Crowded, no Good Parking, and the Weather too Hot, I just abort the Mission and decide it's just not worth it to me.  I'd like to go but if it's too much of a hassle, I don't mind NOT going either at this point.

 I feel many potential Customers feel the same way now about spending their precious Time or their limited Money when the Economy is as shitty as it is right now.   What happened to the Promises he ran on of No Wars, America First, and Lower Prices and thriving Economy on Day One?  *Huge Eye Roll*  Yeah, his Base have been truly Conned by their Career Criminal Bullshit Artist President.  I don't know how many of them are just too Embarrassed and Ashamed they've been Played so will never admit it and pretend all of this Fuckery is just Fine with them?  Or, how many actually are Fuckery Supporters and it is just Fine with them so they're not pretending at all... they're as Bad as he and his other Enablers are.  You'd be Surprised sometimes how low some folks will go that keep it on the Down Low usually.  But now feel emboldened to just be horrible and abhorrent Humans too, coz their Cult Leader President is, so now they feel like it's somehow Acceptable and perversely 'Patriotic' or even 'godly' in some demented way they have Invented to justify it.

I won't give such folks the Time of Day now, they're too fucking Far Gone, it's a waste of Time or Breath to engage with them, it Creeps me Out actually.  I can see what and who they just are now, and don't want any part of it.  There's enuf decent folks to engage with who still have a Moral Compass, content of Character, haven't compromised their reputations or shown Extremist Views, and haven't boarded that Crazy Train of the Ugly Underbelly of a corrupted segment of Society, where the Wheels have now come completely Off.   Those still aboard, well, whatever happens when that Train Wrecks and has ample casualties, I won't and can't feel Bad about it.   They've caused way too much collateral damage to decent and innocent people, being complicit in all he's done... they will have reaped what they have sown.  I got enuf to Deal with so I just won't Deal with any MAGAts too.

*******

Trying to stay Cool in the heating up early Arizona Desert... where late Winter temps are insanely well over 100 already... Dawn... The Bohemian