Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Looking Back... Nostalgic Glimpses Of What Was... Gentle Reminders

Our Daughter's package finally arrived in Mexico with all the personal effects the Consulate demanded as an extension of trying to get her Passport and proving identity.  It was quite the relief it didn't get lost or stolen... regardless that the six day expedited cost to have it delivered promptly had failed miserably and took about a Month instead, right up to the deadline they'd given her to provide it!  *Whew!*   So much for over twenty dollars of postage for speedy and 'tracked' delivery, since once it crosses the border, speed and tracking don't actually exist apparently!?  Don't try to send any of it back, since we don't need to risk it twice I told her... it's all of her meager personal effects I'd had in safekeeping for years anyway, things that cannot be replaced and are remnants of identity verifiers.   In the Yearbook... and Yes the Consulate asked for a Yearbook from School Days to prove Chain Of Identity... I hadn't even realized there was a pix of her Younger Brother in it, hamming it up for the Camera!  


               We think he was about in the 3rd Grade... that Kid was quite the handful in Grade School lemme tell ya, the Principal had us on Speed Dial, no joke, our Bosses even recognized Mr. Everett's Voice!  *Smiles*   I wouldn't have been surprised if all his Teachers didn't end up being Lushes hitting the bottle after each School Day, or on Prozac or something, to Cope with him and those Students like him in their Classes?!   The Son, in the 3rd Grade, during one of the Parent-Teacher Conferences, once introduced us to his Detention Teacher as one of his Regular Classes!  A First for her she said... oh well, it was a Regular Class for him, so why not get a formal introduction, Right?!  *LOL*  Each day is a new adventure when parenting the Special Needs Child, one never knows what to expect or how they'll be received within Society?  It doesn't actually end at Childhood... a Special Need can remain a Special Need for a Lifetime, and so that often involves Family to a greater degree than your average Garden Variety Parenting gig.


Coming further forward in the Looking Back Process, with nostalgic glimpses of what was and the gentle reminders... I ran across imagery of The G-Kid Force during their Pre-School and Grade School Days.  Sometimes it all seems so long, long ago in a Land far, far away.   Of what was... what now is... and how a lot of that morphs into the complexities of daily living, so much to Process.  I've been in a lot of Processing Mode lately, since news coming out of all camps with the Adult Children has been not all Rainbows, Buttercups and Unicorn Farts.  In fact, I almost bought a potentially offensive T-Shirt at 'Spencers' the other day because it resonated with me...it had an outstretched Hand with a Rainbow emanating from a Butterfly Winged Unicorn's Ass, getting ready to prance off the end of it all saying, "There it goes... my last Fuck..."

In case you can't Imagine the visual, I'll oblige with the online marketing Model sporting it, I think I may just have to buy one the way things are progressing.   Mebbe even wear it to the next dismal Parent-Teacher Conference for Princess T?  *LMAO*  Okay, so I won't, but I can't lie that I wouldn't be Tempted to my Friends!   I'm not filling you in on all the details of the South of the border Dramas, too epic, Novela worthy... still Processing all that myself actually... Life can become overly complicated on the turn of a dime lets say.   Complicated is actually a very mild Word and description... but we'll use that one shall we... why not... sometimes the appropriate Words would need considerable censorship!   More censorship than that T-Shirt!  But by the time you get to your Last Fuck, honestly, you don't really Care who else might not be as desensitized to keeping it Real and 100%, so, well... Fuck 'em!  *Winks*  

My Friend should be receiving the Key to her Newly Purchased Home Today and be able to move out and get back to her Normal and not be Homeless anymore.  Which should get us back to our 'Normal' such that it is... and after several Months of ongoing personal Crisis, hers and ours, I think we all Need that desperately!   The Young Prince lately has been trying to act all Grown Up and Manly by wanting to be kept in the Loop of what the Future might look like and how involved in and responsible with that he might actually end up and be?  No wonder the Kid has been on suicide watch, it's daunting shit actually, but at 18 he is in a need to know basis really, since the baton could end up in his hand if anything unforetold happened to moi now.   Do I think he's capable and could handle it, absolutely not... nor does he.   But he is valiant about trying to figure out how best to keep me in immortal status for as long as humanly possible.  That's our Plan... since my Position is not likely to be filled anymore by a Backup Family member now that The Son isn't Well enough to be Plan B.

With Mom and Dad passed from Time into Eternity I no longer have to agonize about their Care and finding the best Options for their complex needs that caused end of Life to be beyond complicated and expensive at the time.   We worked it out with each of them as we just HAD to... necessity is the Mother of Invention after all... and when you HAVE to, you find a way.   I miss them both terribly, every single day, you never Get Over losing a Loved One, the profound Loss is Forever on this side of the veil.  You don't feel relieved, you feel like you lost someone so Beloved that Life is never the same without them, no matter how difficult it became or always was with Caregiving!  But I wouldn't want to relive any of the heartache that came near the End of their Journey either, nor the level of suffering endured by each of them, that would be entirely Selfish on my part.   

Now that The Man and I are entering into the complexities of Old Age tho', and The Man already requires Full Time Caregiving, I realize that my Grandchild has the similar realization I did about what best to DO for aging Loved Ones... and those they might still be Responsible for?   I don't envy The Young Prince having to confront those Realities and Process it all with a measure of Sanity!  He has a lot of vulnerable Siblings being raised by very Old Women right now, four Younger Sisters to be exact that are biologically connected to him.  The Paternal Grandmother in Mexico is old enough to be MY Mother... so that trio could end up here some day, sobering Reality.  It's a Reality we've always known existed, and yet, are you ever really prepared for any worst case scenario?  You just opt to Work it Out as you just HAVE to because adequate preparation isn't possible.

How is the English as a 2nd language going I always ask, since my kitchen Spanish sucks!    How Well are they, since I'm not entirely sure?   I'm not entirely sure about a lot of things, but how many other Special Needs might exist is something I'd want a bit of a Heads Up on.  Since applying for and receiving necessary Services is a huge pain in the ass with great uncertainties associated with Qualifying Factors.  Custodial Grandparenting and the complexities of our particular set of circumstances is something that already took YEARS to sort out for the older two Grandchildren... Fifteen Years if we are to be precise!   So I have no delusions anymore about The System and how it just works... or fails to work and what it demands.   The Man said we'll Deal with whatever, whenever whatever plays out, probably the best strategy actually.  His brain damage makes it so that he just flows now with whatever Challenges he simply cannot Change and Control.  For some weird reason that is Comforting to me as his Spouse, I lean on that Quiet Resignation that has become one of his Strengths actually.

We can and will Deal with whatever happens, with whatever shows up for us to handle we'll handle, he said so matter of factly that I knew we just would and he was Right!  For some reason I recalled how many unfortunate Feline Beings always showed up on our doorstep at The Historic Homestead and how, however long they had to remain and be Cared for by us, we always did, unconditionally and without hesitation.   This one was Bear who had really jacked up Ears and was probably born with that deformity, he was a very Chill Alley Cat who came and went as he chose to, adopting us for a time.   The Grey one further above in the Post pixs, well, I don't even recall his Name since he was Feral and liked to be ignored and just Fed N Watered by his Human Staff he'd chosen, so we respected that boundary he set and established.  *Winks*  Tho' I do recall many of their Names and many stayed with us a whole Lifetime and became part of the Family, just like that.  We'd get them sterilized and we'd just let them live out their best lives possible, I don't recall ever having concerns I couldn't Care for one more.  But Kids are trickier than Cats, I ain't gonna lie, being a Pet Parent is far easier by far, at any Season of Life!  *LOL*

And Time is telling now upon me, taking it's toll... so there's THAT.   I hardly recognize myself from a mere Decade or so ago... it's apparently been a particularly rough Decade?  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*  Several Friends recently told me they don't even remember me without Dreads now, and so I realize that as we go thru various Changes, it just Becomes us as we are Now... and all is as it just Should Be.   I'm the same inside anyway even if the exterior is taking on some wear and tear that is sometimes glaringly obvious when I gaze into the ole mirror and see someone resembling more my Mother than myself.  But Mom was a pretty Fierce Senior so I'm actually okay with that transformation into Aging Gracefully... at least I Hope I'm doing it with enough Grace and Dignity to be Respectable?   Well, forget about the Respectable part... I kinda dig Growing Old Disgracefully!   I'm well on my way to Achieving that Goal actually... so if you're Game for coming along on the Wild Ride, hop aboard my Friends...


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Light Play And High Wire Acts

Light Play... in this Room it's a study in contrasts, going from cheerfully Bright to gloomy Dark, sometimes in a matter of Minutes, even Seconds!  Just like everyone's Moods around here lately... since the level of Stress, the balancing of Lightness of the fluff of Life and the Heaviness of the Issues of Life, have made it feel quite the Circus Act.   Either everyone's Clowning around and laughing heartily... or trying to Cope with various depths of their individual Darkness overtaking them, as if balancing on the High Wire, with no Net.  My Friend is stressing over the Closing of her New Home, so she can just resume Life independently and not be the ever extended House Guest.  They keep switching her Closing Date and that creates a certain tension of us all Coping with constantly changing deadlines, moving up... moving back... a step forward... several steps backward... on that High Wire, involving a Human Pyramid of People involved... trying to ensure nobody falls off.   It can feel very Wallenda, just a misstep from ever impending tragedy befalling anyone! 

And in The Mix, just trying to do Life with a semblance of Normalcy... if you call having your Grandson taking a stroll at 2 a.m. because his Bipolar Insomnia kicked into high gear and he can't take the Psyche Night Meds anymore... and having your Grand-Daughter's two Besties having a Sleepover last Night, Normal... or Sane!?!?  But actually for having three 13 year Old Females in da House, it went smoothly, aided by Pizza and Hotwings brought Home from Work by The Young Prince and I after my Shift.   Yes, there was THAT... in that I had to take him to Work with me to keep the Suicide Watch on him Active... and neither of us wanting to just be trapped here at Home stuck too deeply inside our own Heads.  And by 3 a.m. he strolled back in from his Walk, now ready to actually be able to sleep coz he'd walked his ass off in the bitter cold and dampness outside and settled his Thoughts sufficiently to Rest without being tempted with Eternal Rest.  And so then I could also go to Sleep, bleary Eyed from now two consecutive days of practically no Sleep dealing with concurrent Adult Male Child Crisis! 

  The Son, I'm assuming, is still dealing with the throes of his lengthy Withdrawal process, if he's able to stick with it without any Medical assistance he clearly isn't Qualified to Receive?!?   It's not AS IF Withdrawal from any addictive Drug, whether Prescription grade or not, is a quick Process, it will likely take Weeks IF Successful at all... and there can be no Weaning off for him, this HAS to be Cold Turkey, which is very dangerous and I have zero delusions about that high risk factor!   And Yeah, that makes me Mad as Hell... it was a Western Medical Doc prescribing Medical Grade Oxy for Pain Management of a serious injury that got this Mess of Addiction rolling towards the train wreck it now is Today.  It was long term Career layoff and loss of Medical Insurance that caused someone now addicted to a prescription he couldn't receive anymore to turn to illicit synthetic grade Mexican Oxy, Fentynol, which is deadly.  Nobody is disputing this is a National Epidemic unfolding with regular people in our midst, but demand for Services exceeds Supply and adequate coverage simply doesn't exist in our flawed and often exclusive Medical Insurance System to run damage control behind it all!  Even tho' deaths from synthetics coming out of China and Mexico has tripled overdose deaths locally in less than two years!  In Apollo 13 verbage: Phoenix we have a Problem!   Though I'm sure Houston does too... and other Towns and Cities across America I suspect aren't immune from this scourge!  And don't even get me started on the Profits earned off the Misery by Big Pharma and the Cartels... it's a multi-billion dollar Industry both Legally and Illegally!   Follow the Money Trail to the Sources of whose pockets get lined...

And for those who smugly assume building a Wall ANYWHERE will be the end all Solution, you're naive, most of this shit now is being shipped via the good Ole Mail... are we gonna stop Mail next... doubt it.   And necessity is the Mother of Invention, so when an obscene tonnage of profits are involved, Trust and Believe that Money can buy LOTS of Options my Friends.  Quicker than you can find Solutions by passing any measures thru the slow behemoth that has become our Government and can't get bipartisan enough to Agree to very much of anything anymore for the Good of the People or Country.  The shitshow that unfolds every day within Government has become a spectacle like the ultimate train wreck... it's hard to watch!  I try not to expose myself to watching too much of it, lest I think we're all doomed if we stay on board any vehicle they're driving!  Regardless of which 'side' is behind the wheel, a reckless driver is a reckless driver and I'm not boarding that vehicle unless I had a Death Wish!  Most of the Young People I talk to about what their Take is on how Government is handling their Future feels it's FUBAR to the point of absurdity now.  They want to be Optimistic and retain Hope that by the time they're all Mature enough to be behind the Wheel it can be salvaged?   I Hope so for all their sake, the Great Native American Chief Seattle is said to have uttered this profoundly Wise Quote in a timeless language: "WE DO NOT INHERIT THE EARTH FROM OUR ANCESTORS, WE BORROW IT FROM OUR CHILDREN."   God I Wish we had Wise Leadership like that nowadays!  

There will be a mix of a lot of cribbed Imagery in this Post, since my Camera has gone on the fritz, probably wore another one out, it barely can focus and I don't want every Image to look like some Vaseline schmeared Special Effect!  *Le Sigh*   The Pathological Picture Taker in me wants to run out and buy another relatively inexpensive, yet good Quality, Camera so I won't go thru Photography Withdrawal.   Suffering for my Art isn't something I do Well and I NEED this Outlet, this Escape, right now for Stress Relief... the Writing, the Photography, the trusty Ole Blog which is still cheaper and more effective than Therapy!  *Winks*  Okay, so I usually was the one bringing Loved Ones into Therapy... so I can only attest to actually going for myself perhaps a couple times, after a now infamous extended Hospital Stay involving Caregiver Burnout some years ago.   All I know was it was zero Helpful, tho' he was a very nice Shrink who thought I wasn't actually sliding into Madness, but had way too much Caregiving on my proverbial plate to Cope with.  Yeah, well, I didn't need a Shrink to come to that stark revelation, pretty much had figured that one out years prior to his assessment all by myself!  *Bwahahahaha!*  Tell me what I don't already know... mebbe then you can be Helpful.

However, running out and outlaying for another Camera might not be in the Cards... not with Taxes coming up to pay for... some Medical outlays I'm still saving up for and we don't have coverage for... the Renaissance Festival that I've Promised The Force we'll attend as our Escape into the Land of Fantasy and away from cruel Realities for a Day... The Man's Birthday which is Monday.  And any unforetold Crisis or Emergencies that might crop up randomly any day at any time and blindside the Hell outta ya?!?   I think I NEED to Win the Lottery, Yeah, that would be Helpful... what are the Odds again?  *Bwahahahaha!*  However, that said, Sales have been really Strong lately at the Ole Spaces at the Antique Mall... Yay!   I've been Culling my Private Collections like a Maniac and hawking any of it that will Solve some financially complicated things right now.   That's the Beauty of being a Human Magpie actually, you Hoard up random Treasures that come in mighty handy later when you Need some added liquidity to keep Life Solvent!   I can ponce around almost any Space within Villa Boheme' and find something I can Sell Off to make $$$ right now.  Actually the percentile of what I'm bringing in as Fresh Inventory is Selling quickly, so that's Promising.   I'm dumping the price point on anything not Fresh to make room for the Freshest and most likely to get a quick Turn on!?

I only Wish I had the Seed Money to hawk beyond Fabulous Quality Antiquities like this one, that some Vendor Friends have in their Showroom!  OMG, that's the level of Antique Mall Retail I can only aspire to, when I actually have Money and the right Clientele demographic to hawk it to!  *Bwahahaha!*  It's not that I can't necessarily Source this pinnacle of excellence every now and again... you know, when the Pickin' gods are Kind, the Stars and the Moon line up just right and all with Heavenly Hosts are descending playing all kinds of Celestial Music in my Ears... I just can't afford to, dammit, and that kinda Sucks to have to Pass on the REALLY Good Stuff!   Of coarse, the really Good Stuff can't be had on The Cheap and a lot of potential Clients don't always appreciate that Bargain Basement Prices for The Good Stuff is an imaginary Pipedream and utter Fantasy.   When I Post Imagery like this Sublime piece you'll always get a blow up of Interest... until sticker shock settles in sufficiently to realize, it's going to likely go Home with someone with Means.  Or who Saved up a very long time to buy the very best they could ever afford as that Statement piece that doesn't fly out of the Showrooms on a daily basis either!   And I guess I'm that Dealer that likes the Quick Turn since I have limited Real Estate to house any Inventory!

And I stay in my own Lane, which right now just can't be the Fast Lane or Luxury Line Lane of the hawking of Treasures.   And that's Okay for my little Hobby, such that it is.   It gets Baby new Shoes when she Needs them... and that Kid is growing so fast she Needs them more often than I can usually buy them!  *LOL*   She had some lowlife Shoplift a bunch of her Voodoo Doll Yarn Collectibles the other day out of Booth 317... about $35 worth of inexpensive Yarn Toys that Kids Collect nowadays and Love, which she had parted with from her Personal Collections to earn extra pocket money to buy new Wardrobe!!!  It's the Principal of that violation that bothers me most, not the financial hit per se, tho' what Modest Dealer of an Antique Mall can absorb the losses caused by a Society that now has almost justified the five finger discount as the Cost of doing Business?!?  It's disgraceful to me how commonplace Theft is now in Retail, when did that happen that we didn't arrest and prosecute every Thief so now they think the consequences are so minimal they don't even feel it's risky anymore to Steal?!? 

  I will press Charges if anyone is caught in the act of robbing me and mine, I don't Care how small the haul was for them!  The only thing that separates a Thief from stealing a lot rather than a little is Opportunity my Friends, a Thief is a Thief, their Morals are already clearly compromised and they are lowlife Beings not to be Trusted.  Since they Stole Voodoo Dolls we only semi-joked within this Family that it comes with Gypsy Curses upon them, which is worse than being caught.  *Winks*  Plus as a Bonus is, it comes with being put on Blast here in cyberspace on the Ole Blog, I only Wish I had Pictures to reveal their Identities!   The Young Prince even mused perhaps we should video record Thieves and put them all up on U-Tube for who and what they are, for ALL to see and mebbe go Viral to expose them to the whole World... I think that is a Splendid Idea!   Mebbe if all Retailers did that to Shame the Shady and expose them, Loss Prevention could be mediated somewhat?  Because we all pay for those Losses with Price increases, so it hurts every legitimate Consumer to substantiate the Cost these Thieves create to Honest People... and to me that is NOT Okay and I personally resent it.   So Curses on them all, the Shady who prey upon the Honest... your Personal Voodoo Doll could be the one you didn't get!  *Winks*

Via: Facebook 'Vignettes'... this Image


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Friday, February 15, 2019

Rigamarole... A Valentine's Day Saga

We knew in advance that Valentine's Day was going to be complex, due to Dealing with a pre-scheduled Medical Crisis involving The Son going thru intense withdrawal and requesting Detox and Rehab Services.  The rigamarole involved in all of that was expected, but not to the epic levels it actually played out that day, which boggles the Mind... insert Mind Blown Experience!  The System can be very convoluted, complex and conditional when it comes to such things as Mental Health, Detox and Rehab situations, no matter how serious the level of Crisis involved.  What you Qualify for and get Disqualified for, Intake and Discharge... well, it becomes quite the long drawn out frustrating Laundry List that can drag on... well, all damned day... or longer.   Suffice to say it was the suckiest Valentine's Day ever in Memory... since I dealt with the Drama of it all from 9:00 a.m. Valentine's Day Morning to 1:30 a.m. the next Morning, which is technically Today... no real Sleep... but mostly I am doing Okay.

It involved several epic commutes in the pouring rain and cold of inclement weather, which plagued us Valentine's Day all day, since we're far West Valley and everything, including The Son, are in far East Valley that we needed.  It involved me getting lost in a part of another City I'm totally unfamiliar with, but which not one, but two, Facilities were located in that we were shunted between from Sunup to almost Sunup again.  It involved a Freeway System torn up with major construction and causing traffic jams that were surreal, just to arrive anywhere at all where a Freeway was necessary, which it was.  It involved him being turned away from a too full Detox Facility and thus sent to and housed in a Psychiatric Lockdown one!  Not because they are at all equipped to Deal with Dangerous Drug withdrawal in Process, they were NOT... but becoz that's apparently where they Warehouse those without appropriate Placement available!  Or who wouldn't Qualify due to "Not Being Sick Enough" after being Assessed as not Medically compromised enough that withdrawal could prove fatal, as in Cardiac and Respiratory arrest during it... who knew?!?!??

And since that Assessment can turn on a dime, from what they informed me, keep a close Eye on him after the Hold Period, and bring him back for Round Two of this rigamarole to be re-assessed should he look like he's dying from it!  So at about some ungodly hour of the wee hours of the Morning, with total exhaustion and resignation, I deposited him back at Home where we began the Journey... still in the throes of Withdrawal... but apparently Assessed as probably not going to die from it... maybe... whatever... Good Luck with that and we Hope it all Works Out?!  

 How many times have I heard that fallback statement mentioned when they release a still unstabilized Patient to Family for lack of coverage... lack of Cure... lack of adequate Services to meet Demand... well, just lack of.   As I watched the slews of Clients pouring into these Facilities in various stages of Mental Health Crisis, Drug Addiction Withdrawal and request for Services, or all around failing Health and near Fatal episodes playing out... I realized what a Crisis this clearly is in our Country.   All walks of Life were walking thru those doors... could be anybody... could be everybody... there but for the Grace of God.   And until it's you... or one you Love... there can be the good fortune of being detached from it all.  Which unfortunately is NOT the case when it's you or a Loved One.  

 And so, The Man and I chose to have our more intimate Valentine Day Luncheon the day before at a new Mexican Restaurant {first two Food photos}.  And with The Son in throes of intense Withdrawal in tow, being shuttled between Facilities like a Hot Potato... have a Valentine's Day Luncheon at an Amazing Little Thai Restaurant {bottom Food photo}, coz one does need to Eat every so often, even during Mi Vida Loca playing out daily.  You know, AS IF we're this Normal Family enjoying Lunch together on Valentine's Day...  and you know, on our way to Rehab/Detox with an extremely and obviously Sick Adult Child... just your typical Garden Variety Valentine's Day Celebration expression of Love!  Calmly eating this most Beautifully presented and tasty Thai Food with our very Sick Son, while he rushes to the bathroom between Courses to throw up!  {Sorry couldn't help the ironic and surreal Gallow's Humor take of it all coz you hadda SEE us, you can't make this shit up!}  Which it kinda is a Sacrificial expression of Love, and that type of Hard Times Love extended that is transcendent of just when things are going Swell... and instead are really Circling The Drain... but Life goes on. 

  And we go on... best we can.  Even tho' the Morning would bring with it the Stress backlash of The G-Kid Force going totally Wheels Off the Rails Mental, each in their own ways systematically... coz intense Family Stressors causes rather a Dominoes effect and the Whole House of Cards oft comes down all at once therefore here at The Villa Boheme'.  I know it's hard on them since their Uncle has always been the Guy to Look Up to and Be There for everyone during various Crisis that The Family have moved thru over the Years.  The dependable strong Male Role Model, one they kinda put up there on the Pedestal in rather a Super Hero Status, that Children tend to give to those of us who they assume have our shit totally together and offer Sanctuary from Life's Storms, even if we do have our own obvious Issues.   Uncle was to be The One, who Heaven Forbid, if something unforetold happened to moi, would inherit them and their Grandpa... so it's scary shit to see him in Crisis too and I understand the Fears and insecurities that triggers!  So... Pick up the Pieces... Deal with the various Crisis in Order of which should have Priority and whose Turn it is now to be Dealt With... offer Comfort and Caregiving to... just the Usual Stuff... our Daily Grind.

So, when Mania or Depression reigns around here, we tend to do the most unexpected stuff to Soothe the Soul and Calm the Spirit.   The Young Prince dyed his Hair again, cutting it and Styling it himself too, into shaved sides and back with Mohawk Center left long... the Kid has so much Hair!  I think the Colors it ends up are often deeply connected to Mood being felt... so right now it's gone from Blue to Black!  Yes, he's gone totally Dark, in more ways than one, and Coping is something he admirably and valiantly does every day of his Young Life, both internally and externally, in whatever ways he just can... since no Cure exists for his diagnosis, so it's a Forever kinda thing.  So, he's kinda an unsung Super Hero himself already and just doesn't realize it with the Awareness of one who is a True Inspiration to others, even when told he is.   And I bought an Antique Japanese Flower Frog for myself for Valentine's Day because... well, doesn't everyone NEED one?  *Winks*  It soothed my Soul anyway, because of how Symbolic it Historically is in that Culture. 

 Koi is a Japanese word for Carp. Japanese people have, for years, used Koi fish tattoo designs as a cultural symbol for overcoming adversity.

And since I'm not getting a Symbolic Tattoo for overcoming Adversity, well, subliminally the Antique Flower Frog will do the Trick for sufficient Symbolism of overcoming this Adversity this particular Valentine's Day... and that's good enough for me!   


Peace, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Tuesday, February 12, 2019


Hamstermania at our house now... Okay so Princess T earned her Teddy Bear Hamsters and Habitat for Valentine's Day, for tirelessly being her Brother's Minion for Care of his Reptiles, Crustaceans and Tropical Fish when he's not Home.  And without complaint for Months now she's been uber responsible of excellent Care of Pets not even her own.   He's out of Town with Friends for several days and she always steps up to Volunteer as Caretaker, she takes the responsibility very seriously.  I felt this showed she was ready for Pet Ownership of her own and she'd been fixated upon Hamster Ownership and I relented, especially after her traumatic experience the other day, an Emotional Support Pet was kinda in order.  So, the Blonde N White blur on the Satellite Wheel is Hammy, and the Black blur on the Blue Hamster Wheel is Midnight, both Males and the Syrian Breed of Hamster. These could be the most expensive and spoiled Hamsters in the History of Hamsters?     

Initially the Kitschy Hamster Habitat they talked us into was way too small, so we're keeping that one for Transport to Vets or when Cage Cleaning is necessary for temp housing... and I upgraded to a 430+ sq inch Habitat Terrarium with lock down lid that can keep a strong Snake inside.  They have a completely edible Tiki Hut Den, previously mentioned pair of Exercise Wheels and all the other paraphernalia of Hamsterdom, which can set you back... well... a lot more than one would think!  *LOL*   But the saga didn't begin Well... it began at a Petsmart where she fell in Love with a more Exotic Breed of Hamster called a Russian White, or something like that, all I know is the little Guy was exceedingly high strung and not at all Pet Quality!   The THREE Shop Gals assisting us there seemed clueless of their Pets and Products or Care of Rodents and incapable of responsible handling of them either.  They tried to hand Russian White to Princess T to handle and he shot like a jet propelled launched projectile out of her hands landing several feet across to the cement floor, practically knocking the little Guy out Cold, he lay there stunned for a moment!

Princess T was traumatized and mortified, thinking the poor thing had commit suicide rather than be handled!   I picked him up after he came to, since the three Shop Gals were scared to even go after him!  Lord knows if you didn't react quickly he could have and probably would have disappeared into the vast bowels of Petsmart never to be seen again!?  I carefully handed him over to Lead Salesgirl, who dropped him AGAIN!   OMG, then Shop Gal No. 2 picked it up and dropped it AGAIN... Fuuuuuuck!  I couldn't take any more faux pas in Rodent handling and put him safely in his Aquarium for them, my nerves were shot to Hell and my Granddaughter had gone from Joyful to totally withdrawn and paralyzed with Anxiety about handling Hamsters!  I Hope they take him to be checked out by a Vet and don't just assume he's okay and try to Sell him to anyone else before they know if he sustained serious damage from all those high falls and trauma?!!?!   So, needless to say we didn't buy a Rodent from there, they only had assorted Fancy and Hybrid Species anyway that I'd never heard of... and Princess T was sullen, quiet and pretty shut down by then and in tears, scared about Hamster Ownership and disappointed beyond Words.

Listen I says, lets go find some Old School Variety of Hamster that I had as a Child, they were called Teddy Bear Hamsters from Syria and they weren't so high strung.  The Syrian Hamsters I remember were more Chill, docile and slower moving Creatures than these Fancy Pants temperamental Hamster Varieties at Petsmart.  So over to PetCo we go, they tend to be more knowledgeable and informative about their Pets and Products anyway... and Thankfully they had the Old School Garden Variety Hamsters... Teddy Bears... and they had Males... which are more Chill and less temperamental than Female Hamsters, so better suited for a Child to Own, Care for and Handle.  Immediately she Cheered up when Midnight won her Heart, she'd wanted a White or Black Hamster anyway and he was Black and had long, soft luxurious Hair that feels as soft as a Bunny.  He liked being stroked and tickled and was Curious about the Humans around him. Since The Young Prince had built up beaucoup Store Credits for all his purchases, including Ivara the Chameleon, at PetCo, we had sufficient Credit to get Midnight's litter mate Hammy, a Blonde Syrian Hamster with a large White Marking for FREE.  Not that a Free Hamster saved me Money mind you, but you know... she was Jazzed!  Midnight is the more Social of the two and the most Exercise conscious, he can run like Hell on that Wheel!  *LOL*   Hammy is slower and eats more, like the Fat Guy at the Gym, he plods on the Wheels and goes for Snacks often after brief exercise!  *LMAO*

So after emptying my Slush Fund with bankrolling Hamstermania, we went to our Fav Thai Restaurant and had Pho for Dinner.  Mine was Thai Vegan Chicken and Vegetable pictured here... Nom-Nom.  Then I schlepped the crazy heavy Terrarium set-up up those Stairs and set that up after we'd realized Choice No. 1 was just too small a Habitat and not recommended by Animal Advocate Groups.  In fact, they don't recommend any of the Kitschy Hamster Habitats being Sold to appeal to Kids like a Toy... and shaped like such visually appealing things as Castles, Space Ships, Race Cars, Doll Houses and the like, some even with Color Changing LED Lights even tho' Hamsters can't see Color... coz it's not having the Animal's Welfare in Mind and equates a Living Thing as being equivalent to a Toy, which is never Good.   My Granddaughter is 13, when we bought Habitat No. 1 the Clerk suggested was Ideal, she even questioned it being appropriate recommended sized?   We should have followed gut instinct, but it was on Sale and we needed a Carrier Habitat anyway as well, so we still got it and then looked for something more suitable and recommended by Groups who don't make money off the Sale of any particular Products. 

 I don't know how any Hamster Owner gets fab pixs of their Pet(s) coz seriously, I can only catch them as a blur!   My reflexes and shutter speed just aren't that quick! *LOL*   So I'm cheating by showing you Stock Images I found online that look the most like Midnight and Hammy.  *Smiles*  Ironic that she named the Blonde N White one Hammy coz she didn't even know that's what my Brother and I had named all of our Blonde N White Syrian Teddy Bear Hamsters when we were Children!  Hammy 1, Hammy 2, I think we even had a Hammy 3... we weren't very Creative Kids giving individual names to Replacement Pets once the original went to Pet Heaven!  *LMAO*  Ours were the shorter Hair variety, hers are longer Hair.  She had initially named the Black one Brock, but then didn't like that Name and she and I had individually thought of the identical alternative of Midnight, which was kinda surreal we both thought of the same Name without discussing it previously... so we thought, that MUST be what he was Meant to be Named!   He's rather a Charcoal Black like that one in the Image, with a Greyish Tone... both have very luxuriously long Hair and will likely require Grooming once they're Tamed more... they're still Juveniles so that will take a little settling in and handling time first.   The first Night them running on the Wheel all Night drove her Insane!  Are they gonna do that ALL Night she said holding her Hands over her Ears!?!  *LMAO*  Yeah, I says... so they've now been moved out into her Hallway in their New Bigger Habitat I set up this Morning.    She looked exhausted this Morning!  *Smiles*  But, she learned what Nocternal means... winks!


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Monday, February 11, 2019

Valentine's Day And A Crisis

So I ran around the house trying to find anything Heart Shaped to photograph for a Valentine's Day Post.  It's not that I don't have a fair amount of Heart evident in Villa Boheme', it's just that I haven't decorated with much of it for Valentine's Day this year.  I've barely got all of Christmas down truth be told, I've still got Stockings hung by the Fireplace with Care here beside me in fact!  I have fabulous Rusty Tin Heart Ornaments, that I typically put on a Champagne colored Aluminum set of Trees I have set up in the Diningroom year round, but I haven't even done that yet this Year.  With mere days left I'm not sure if I'll bother decorating for Valentine's Day specifically or not?  To say I'm the only one in the Family that is even "into" Valentine's Day would be an understatement, so it's not like anyone Cares or notices... I'd be doing it for me alone and exclusively.

I should, I love Seasonal Decorating actually, but mustering the ambition to has been setback with a series of unfortunate events, which have not set the Mood for such things.   We had an Adult Male pervert approach Princess T on her way Home from School on Friday Afternoon, hanging around our Green Belt at the end of our Street... I was at Work!!!  Thankfully she had been very aware of her surroundings and noticed creepy guy before he got close enough to her to make actual physical contact!  She ran all the way Home and locked the door, terrified, then told Grandpa what happened and what sexual advances the creepy man had mentioned to her!  Grandpa immediately called Police, but they weren't able to make an apprehension of the Sexual Predator, even with the good description she gave and him being on foot, I find that deeply disturbing!

Clean cut Adult White Male in his late 20's or early 30's, dark Crew Cut... not necessarily someone that would stand out as a Sexual Predator to passers by, he looked like he could belong and just be at the Parks legitimately around here.  But something about him had alarmed her even before he approached her, she's a very observant Child and she didn't like how he was looking at her from across the Green Belt as she walked Home on the sidewalk around it.  She also noticed he kept his Eye on the Dog Walker Adult on the other sidewalk around the Green Belt... and once that person rounded the corner out of sight is when he began quickly walking towards her... getting alarmingly close before she could get to our street and then made his disgusting Sexual advances just feet away from her!  To a 13 Year Old Child... my level of disgust is to where I truly wanted to hunt him down like the Animal that he is!  My Maternal Instincts went into hyperdrive, my Grandchild is now afraid to go outside and her sense of Security and Well Being is wrecked, she slept in our Bed that Night.


Her Big Brother will now be walking with and chaperoning her everywhere when I can't be Home.  The Man still being a Wander Risk he can't, even tho' he desperately wants to, so I'm relieved that The Young Prince stepped up and said he'd protect her and make her feel Safer.  He's very protective of his Little Sister anyway, especially as she blossoms into Young Womanhood, which is a very vulnerable Season for any Young Girl.  That transition from Childhood, that Space of Limbo where you're not quite an Adult yet and still very much a Child.  In The Hood all the Children were aware of Urban Dangers and had a heightened sense of instincts about not being an easy Mark.  Out here that false sense of Security exists and I fear that many of the Children could therefore be more vulnerable, more complacent, more approachable by Predators among us.  I Pray they apprehend and prosecute this one quickly before some Amber Alert has to go out to heighten the Police Department's sense of Urgency?!?

They took The Man's Report over the phone but haven't done any follow-up in person, which doesn't please me.  But I've heard thru our online Community Neighborhood Nextdoor Website that they're doing extra Patrols.  Yes, I had The Young Prince put up an Urgent Alert to all Residents about the incident on the Website, so that more Families are aware of what just happened and looking out now for the safety of their Children and to hopefully reveal who this deviant is!?!  Having worked Sex Crimes Files at the DA's Office for so many years, I have no delusions about how this specific type of Criminal generally escalates and never truly rehabilitates.  Recidivism isn't a matter of IF they re-offend, but WHEN, which is why their Files are Archived Forever and never Purged!  If they've never yet been apprehended and successfully prosecuted they wouldn't even be a Registered Sex Offender.  That's what is insidious about such Crimes, they could be anyone, you wouldn't even necessarily know, many are Chameleons of the Human Variety.   Not recognizing a Predator makes for easier Prey.

I Thanked God profusely for keeping Princess T Safe, tho' shaken, it could have been a worse outcome for sure!   She's still a Victim tho', and after such an incident it's not something anyone "gets over" and it would be naive to assume otherwise.   Close calls like that stick with you, you don't have to be the ultimate grim statistic to have the collateral damage from such an encounter, a Lifetime often doesn't erase the negative impact it can have.  I know, over 45 Years ago I was a Survivor of a Sex Crime and unfortunately I know far too many other Victims who have been too, you never forget, you never fully or truly just "Get Over it".   Those who presume otherwise and suggest such things, I'd venture to guess have never had a point of reference to even draw upon, which is fortunate for them.   I don't personally feel any convicted Sex Offender should ever have a release date from institutionalization, most especially the High Level designated ones.   But they do... and then are back among us and awareness of that cannot be over stressed enough!

And I know that a Valentine's Day Post wouldn't necessarily be where you'd expect to receive such a heavy topic and a tough read.   But among Hearts there are often broken and damaged ones... for a variety of reasons and not all of them openly discussed because it can be so uncomfortable to have to Hear or need to Tell.   We like to think Society as a whole is Good, Noble and that Righteousness always prevails, we don't like to have to be cynical and so guarded about our individual safety and well being being compromised by other Human Beings especially.  My Grand-Daughter's Carefree days of playing happily at our Parks within the Community is now contaminated by this horrible experience of one individual encounter with one of the Bad among us.  One who would most definitely NOT be Safe for any Child to be around... and I can't help but wonder how many Children he is around daily?   Either who don't know... or don't Tell?  What collateral damage has he already caused... and will inflict before his Life is through?  How many more potential Victims and how tolerant will we as a Society be with his Kind and the Crimes they perpetrate?

Yes, I'll go out, perhaps Tomorrow, and buy the Valentine's Treats for The Man and The G-Kid Force as if it's any Normal Valentine's Day.   Even if she might still Need to sleep in our Bed off and on for a while to Feel Safer again and Protected.  Seeking Comfort where she knows Protection is a higher Priority among her Family, than out there in Public where one is always more vulnerable.  And yet, I know that vulnerability exists within some Homes, and the incidents of assault don't always involve Stranger Danger guidelines and are people known to the Victims.  No amount of instruction about Stranger Danger will Protect the Vulnerable Child or Vulnerable Adult living with the Enemy and sadly, many have to and most of us will never know that dirty Secret being kept.   I know that whoever this perp is, he has Family... and they are perhaps the most vulnerable of all.   And if, by chance, any become emboldened to confide in anyone, I Pray that they know it is a Safe Confession for them to make and that the Confidant will notify Authorities on their behalf to get them Help and Rescue from Victimization.   We have an obligation to Protect the most vulnerable among us, those especially with no Voice.

There are the Stories we hear about on the News, usually the High Profile Cases... but so many more we'll never hear about, the Unknown Victims.  I've processed boxes and boxes of umteen Files of these types of Crimes during that span of time I did that as a Career.   I am more than glad I don't have to see another File's contents, since you can't unsee what is seen, can't unhear what is heard... and that too sticks with you.   I commend those who go out every day and Deal with the carnage of what Humanity inflicts upon Humanity.  Collectively we can be a very messed up Species devoid of actual Humanity, it has to be a conscious Choice each of us must make for ourselves.   Some don't do a very good job of it... at varying levels... and it's evident.   But we could improve upon it collectively and especially if as a Collective, the appalling Crimes against Humanity were less tolerated, less excused and more pressure put upon those who would violate other Human Beings in various ways.

Some Societies have enforced Higher Standards than others... and at various junctures in History of coarse the Standards can shift, in a Positive way or a Negative one.   We must Share this Planet and it would just be refreshing if we could do so in Peace and more Harmony with one another intentionally.   We can Be the Light or we can Be the Darkness... we can be part of the Solutions or we will become part of the Problems... which will you choose to Be?   Will this World be better or worse for you having an impact and imprint upon it in your Lifetime?    I Thank each of you who stuck with the tough Read... and it's Okay if you were not able and the Pretty Pictures were all you could handle this day.  Some days are just like that, I know... Thank God that Beauty exists right alongside what is Ugly in this World!   So that a restoration of Balance is evident and available to us all... Hope renewed, even when things are Bad and especially when they are.   I NEED the Beauty all the more during those times and I'm pretty sure you do too my Friends.  May this Valentine's Day have some Beauty, even if your times aren't very Pretty right now.


Blessings, Love and Light and a Happy Valentine's Day from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Friday, February 8, 2019

Valentine's Day Dance

I just dropped Princess T and part of her Posse' of BFF's off at the much anticipated Valentine's Day Dance, one of the other Moms was taking the rest, since I didn't have enough room in my Truck.  *Whew!*  The Girls looked stunning and had spent an inordinate amount of time getting ready and doing each other's Make-Up and Hair at our house, so they were already running 40 minutes late.  This meant a hurried and harried Photo Op for me and wouldn't you know my camera went on the damned fritz just as I was capturing the Kodak Moment!  *Gasp... yeah, picture pathological picture taking me almost in a tail spin panic and checking settings over and over!*  So everything is slightly out of focus and even my lone Phone Camera shot wasn't that exceptional... dammit!   Dont'cha just hate when that happens during an important Moment you want to capture and preserve thru the Eye of your lens?!   *Le Sigh*

Nothing I can do about it now but Hope that all the Girls take Selfies and such with their Phones at the Dance so I get some better quality imagery?  *Winks, what are the odds that they don't, Right?!  LOL*  It chokes me up a bit when I see Princess T all glammed up, since she looks so much like her Mama did at that same Age!   My how Time just flies like that and now even the majority of our Grandkids are mostly all Grown Up already!  In fact, Facebook always wants to tag Princess T's images as her Mom... and my Mom's images as me too, which is kinda hilarious!   I think Princess T was glad she didn't rashly lob all of her luxurious Hair off last Month, as she was wanton to do every time it becomes very long and a lot of bother and work.   I'd told her to put it under consideration and we'd revisit the idea again if she still felt that way much later, of coarse she doesn't.  Every other time she's cut it all off in a snit she's regret it and then we're dealing with that... so I don't want her doing it in an emotional heat of the moment!  Besides, I like longer Hair on Younger Girls, they can go with the Trendier cuts and Extreme Hairstyles as they Mature.

She knows that I put my Dreads on consideration for about a full Year before I firmly decided to get them... and with no regrets because it was not just a spontaneous whim.   If you still want the same things later, after more careful consideration, you probably really do want it and will have more of a Peace about it.   So why the hurry?   Besides, I'm trying to keep her looking more like a Child than a Woman until she's further along in her Teens... tho' I'm not sure we're succeeding at that anymore?!  *Le Sigh*  I liked that all of the Girls had chosen different Styles and Colors of Dresses... to suit their individual personalities and personal aesthetics and sense of Style.  Princess T had been concerned everyone would be wearing Red Dresses for the Valentine's Day Dance... and Red really is her Color and what we ended up with.   So she was relieved to see everyone choosing a nice variety of Beautiful Dresses in a Rainbow of Lovely Colors!  The Striped Dress actually had a slit up the front off center to reveal matching Shorts, so Cute!   The tiny Friend in the Royal Blue Dress is actually an identical Twin, and her Twin has a totally different sense of Style and even totally different Social Group.  They're uniquely very individual even tho' I personally can't tell them apart except by Style and who they're Friends with!  *LOL*

The Dance was having a fantastic turnout and there were quite a few of us who arrived fashionably late, so they didn't feel self conscious about it.  They each brought a Can of Food for the Food Bank Drive... mostly from our Pantry, since you know how Kids are, one Girl had forgotten her Can at Home and was mortified she left it behind accidentally... no problems, we can remedy that!  I didn't have to stick around to chaperone, there were plenty of those on hand... and I'm quite Over the Grade School-Jr. High Dance Thing at this Season of Life!  *Winks*   I'll be picking the Posse' up when it's over and the Girls will be having a Slumber Party over here... whether there will just be the two Friends or the whole Crew I'm not exactly sure?  I just know there will be a whole lot of Young Estrogen in da House Tonight and so The Man and The Young Prince said they'll be locking their Doors and hiding out for the duration!   *Bwahahaha!*

   The smell of cheap perfume up there is making me light-headed, The Young Prince feigned a faint as he headed thru the cloud of it lingering on the Staircase!  Hey, I bought your Sister the Good Stuff I countered and we both laughed.  He told me that Yeah, he knows I don't buy her the Gawwwwd Awful Cheap Perfumes, but there is a toxic blend of ALL their perfumes hanging in the air up there and it's quite pungent and rather vile smelling now, since they virtually marinated themselves in all of it!  *LMAO*   Of coarse he was only slightly exaggerating... as the fumes cascaded down to the lower level living spaces my Eyes began to water!   It's not so much the smell but the burning of my Eyes I joked!!!  *Bwahahaha!*


Well, never get so Old that you Forget what it was like to be Young my Friends... these Seasons are all so Precious... Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl