This Is As Good As It Gets

 I find that if I go to The Gym after dropping my Granddaughter off at Work, I can use the equipment I like for as long as I want or need to without waiting or having to get only limited time on it coz others are waiting to use it.  So, Wednesday that's what I did and I was leaving as all the people were starting to flow in that overcrowd some equipment that there's a limited amount of like the Hydrotherapy Beds, which, there's only Two of with 10 Minute Sessions.  I got 20 Minutes in on that coz nobody was using them at 7:00 a.m..  I had the Wet Steam Sauna all to myself for the whole Session I was in it.

I did have one glitch that had never happened before, the Locker wouldn't Open again with the Combination I'd set for it.  Thankfully it was before I was naked with my Clothing in there.  *LOL*  So, I could walk back out to the Lobby and ask an Attendant to come Open it for me.  The Attendant told me sometimes they stick.  I used the same Combination every time and had used Locker 113 before too, so, I guess that's what happened?  It was a little scary to not be able to get your stuff out, including all your Clothes, Purse with Vehicle Keys, Phone.  But, I moved over one Locker to 115 and it was Fine and opened with the Set Combination.  *Whew*

Now, the embarrassing part, the Workout felt great, I always feel better after a Workout, Sauna and Shower.  But, after I got Home, I needed a fucking NAP and Slept for Three Hours!!!  WTF!?!   That's pathetic, No?  *Bwahahaha*  But, I'm still gonna try to do it more consistently and perhaps build up my Stamina more?  Then mebbe I won't require a Nap afterwards?  *LOL*   The Man feels bad Today, he doesn't even wanna do a little bit of Canning, so I know he really doesn't feel good.  He had good Readings on everything Yesterday, so, it's a Mystery as to why he doesn't feel good, he's not Sick, his Blood Pressure, Oxygen Saturation, Sugars, were all excellent.  He can't explain well how he feels or why.  I think it might be more Mental/Emotional, perhaps?

I woke up from my Nap feeling great and refreshed.  The Son reminded me I'd gotten up way early Today, I had, before 4:00 a.m..  So perhaps it wasn't the Workout, but just already being up for a few Hours and doing something Physical???   I did stop and get some Groceries on Sale before this Weeks Sale is a Wrap.  And got another Fruit Mousse Cake, they're light and fabulous, not Sweet, we now Love them and they only make One at the Bakery I go to so they still had it, so, it was mine.  *Winks*  I Photographed some of their other Cakes, all were so pretty.  Above and Below was ours, and we had some as soon as I got it Home.  *Smiles*

I picked Princess T from Work and they had some really good stuff at SAVERS, I hadn't intended to buy anything but they also had $10 off if you bought $30 in Clothing, which I did, and then it's Military Day too so I got another 30% Off the Non-Clothing Purchases too.  I'd found 3 Fiesta Ware Oval Bowl Platters in Two Sizes and in Colors of Red and in Yellow, Online they Sell for around $30 each and I got them for $4 each.  I got a Christian Audigier T-Shirt with great Graphics on Front and Back for $5.  An Angel Cult T-Shirt for $5. And a Hoodie by Fox for Princess T that she said Sells for over $100 Online, I got it for $3!   I got a Dia de los Muertos Sugar Skull Ceramic Electric Wax Scent Warmer for $4.  And a really nice Canvas Tote with great Sailor Jerry Graphics on both sides for $2.  They had some nice Vintage Industrial Lighting but it all needed rewiring so it was a Hard Pass on that.

I had to give this wonderful T-Shirt to the Grandson tho' coz it was only a Size Large and The Girls are too bodacious to fit around them even if I lose more Weight... dammit.  I LOVED this Shirt and SO wanted it to fit me.  *Boo Hoo*   The Young Prince LOVED it as much as I did and wasn't Sad it didn't fit me.  *LOL*  Princess T reminded me that my Tits aren't gonna get any Smaller so I should just relent, take some Pixs, and give it to her Brother.  *LOL*  She's Right of coarse.  He was beyond Delighted too so that made me Happy, he doesn't own many Clothes and has to borrow a lot of mine anyway, so, if I do get Skinny... I could always wear it.  *Fingers Crossed*  I would look so Cute in it too!  *Sob and LOL*

I did some Canning by myself at the Park and found a Blonde American Girl Doll in a Pink Princess Dress that Parks N Rec had just tossed in an empty Trashcan so I retrieved her, she's in perfect condition and some Kid must have accidentally left it behind.  The Park folks tell me all the time that anything abandoned just gets thrown away, they don't donate it or have a Lost & Found.  I guess so much is left behind all the time it's all they can do with it.  So, I'll Sell her, it's a Popular Line and she's been well Cared for... some little Girl was probably Heartbroken tho' when she realizes she left her Doll somewhere.  Luckily the Bag in that Can was brand new so she didn't get soiled by actual Garbage.  Someone had also left behind a Four Pac of Aquafina Waters.  I got a lot of Aluminum Cans and it was a Beautiful Day to walk around a nice Park nearby.  It was pretty deserted tho', usually it has more people, it's a Popular Park with lots of amenities for the Community.

We still haven't located The Grandson's Wallet, it has his ID, his new Bank Card, and all his Money in it so he's Emotionally very Raw about it and Paranoid.  He took an Uber recently and I'm just hoping he didn't leave it in the Uber Driver's Vehicle?  Other than that it should be here or at his Dad's coz he's not gone anywhere else where it could be and he doesn't interact with a lot of people either to have had anyone steal it from him.  Anyway, Hopeful it just turns up and he just put it somewhere odd that he hasn't thought to look?  One time The Son misplaced a remote controller for his X-Box and he'd put it in the Refrigerator!  *LOL*  So, you just never know what Odd place someone could leave something and not think to look for it there.  I don't want the hassle of replacing his ID at the DMV and his Bank Card, which he hasn't had very long.  But the Money is the main thing, he had $80 in it which was all he has, so he's very upset about that. 

I've got the Three in the Mornings again, I often wake up at 3:00 a.m. almost on the Dot and it's just very Odd, that's the Witching Hour to those of  us who Believe in such things.   I was gonna Google it and it instantly came up as a common Search, of that exact time, which surprised me.  Turns out 3:00 a.m. is when your Body shifts from Deep Sleep to lighter REM Sleep, who knew?   Spikes in Cortisol {Stress Hormone}, drops in Blood Sugar, or Environmental Factors are usually key causes.   The Stress and Blood Sugars thing make a lot of sense in my case.   A rise in Cortisol is common between 2:00 a.m.-3:00 a.m. in most people to prepare your Body for Waking and is a Natural Rhythm.  And for Women over 55 it's quite common Post-Menopausal too, to Wake at that Hour.  

The Daughter has chosen not to be here since her Boyfriend got banned from our Property.  So, for now the 5th Wheel is unused and really needs to be tidied up and cleaned.  I don't usually want to disturb possessions of the Family that are not mine, but if she doesn't return anytime soon to do it I've got to tell her I'm going to.  How it looks right now is not Okay, its messy.  I did clean out the little Fridge and Freezer in there and removed any dirty Dishes already and she knows that.  But getting strewn Clothing and miscellany off the Floor and off the Furniture has to be addressed too.  She's reliant on him for her transportation so it is an Issue and I do feel he's somewhat keeping her from Family, but, she has her own Free Will as well and may be choosing to remain with him where ever he's squatting next? 

 I do know they had to leave where they were staying and don't know that whole Back Story in it's entirety.  I got 3rd Hand information about it, but it is 3rd Hand so accuracy is questionable.   But, from what I heard from the Person who heard it from the alleged Source, it wasn't under favorable conditions, let us just say.  Which, it wasn't under favorable conditions he was asked to leave our Property either so that Tracks even if the reasons are completely different.  And, since he's bounced from place to place even with his own Relatives, that seems to be his Pattern of inappropriate Behavior at other people's Properties.  For perhaps varied reasons, but never Positive ones.  As for her, she's not been asked to leave any place she's ever stayed before.  And she's always been Welcomed back any place she's ever stayed before.  So I'm just speculating here, but, he is likely the main cause for being asked to leave in most, if not every, case?

I think I NEED one of these Canvas Tote Coolers for Medical Use, but, to use for Lunches, that would be hilarious.   Inappropriate Humor for levity has sustained me lately coz shit has been just Bananas, both Personally and Nationally/Globally, hasn't it?   My RV Garage Mahal, the Art Studio Space and The 5th Wheel right now are all a Hot Mess due to possessions not belonging to me and holding the Worldly Possessions of other Family Members who can't keep it straight, so, it's very discouraging.   Any headway I felt I'd made, has been rolled way back now... and it's rather overwhelming to even be in any of the Three Spaces coz it gives me intense Anxiety to.  The Son could see how disturbed it's making me and tho' he's living here too he's very tidy with all of his possessions, and didn't displace anything of mine I'd Styled his Room with at all before he moved into it.

He knows that Sharing Space and then Re-Sharing Space again and again with extended Family has set me back considerably over the Years, especially at this Property location.   Not only financially, since it's an added expense and hardship Economically, but personally too to relinquish large portions of your Home.   And especially as we relocated and had to set up our own Home after a Big Move and Downsized Space only to have Family move back in and not really have enuf room for everyone and their Worldly Possessions crammed into less Space than we had before.   The Historic Property had a Main House about the Size of this one, but more Cottages for Family to Move Into on the Acreage.  The Villa McManse was enormous so had plenty of Space and Empty Space even when we moved from it.  But here, we're limited in Livable Space.  The RV Garage Mahal is a lot of Unlivable Space not Climate Controlled and more like a Warehouse to contain what's in it.

Above is The Daughter as an Infant.  Times were very hard then too, I was an Unwed Single Mom and had a very demanding Corporate Career in my Banking Executive Days back then.  I was working sometimes 60+ Hours, going to College at Night, and Raising a Child Alone with no help from her Bio Father who was in the Military and no longer in Arizona, Stationed in the Azores at the time.  He has seen her once in her entire Life, for just Minutes and abandoned responsibility of having Fathered a Child.  Some Men be like that.  My Lifelong Friend Joanne was my Roommate.  We moved thru some very difficult times together.  And she moved thru difficult times afterwards too.  So, we still keep in Touch, she lives in Las Vegas now, but we haven't seen each other in a very long time, she's moved around a lot and remained Nomadic, I decided to ditch the Global Nomad Life and stay put in Arizona.   She's an Italian American originally from New York, Long Island.

But, she also has Lifelong Trauma, since, her Beloved Husband, who was also a Lifelong Friend of mine, after Retirement from the Military, worked for the DOD and was blown up in the Middle East during Desert Storm.  He was living his best life in Retirement, they'd attended the Olympics in China even!   So it never should have happened if his Country hadn't asked him to go above and beyond and become a DOD Consultant after Retirement.  Which, my Friend didn't have a Peace about and told me she had a very bad Feeling about when he was asked to go to the Middle East.  She and I had Premonitions and she knew I'd understand that she'd had one about Mike being in imminent Danger if he went.  She tried to talk him out of going, to no avail.

 She knew The Man was also in the Middle East at the time, Active Duty, but he came Home, her Husband didn't last 30 Days In Country before his Convoy got blown up.   I don't know how you ever Recover from something like that and I don't think she ever did.  And I think this New War will be Triggering for her coz her Oldest Son is the same Rank as his Dad Retired at, is a Career Military high ranking Officer and will be involved in this Iranian Fiasco.   I'm his Godmother, he has a Wife and Two Young Children, he lost his Dad to a very unpopular War... it's just a LOT.  And many more Families will go thru this with this very unpopular War that doesn't even have the level of Support that Vietnam or any of the other Middle Eastern Conflicts had.  It has the most abysmal Support of any War to date in fact, which, is NOT good when Americans have Zero Support for the War... and thus, Support wanes for our Troops due to that.    Below is my Dear Friend Mike... and his Son little Mike... who is my Godson and I've known since the day he was Born.  He also has a Younger Brother.

Father

Son

But, I digress, and as a Lifelong Military Family Member I don't wanna Talk about War, it's highly Triggering.  I don't mind Multigenerational Living when it comes to the actual People, but combining everyone's Worldly Possessions is the bigger Challenge.  Where to put it, keep it tidy and organized, since I require Order and right now there's too much Disorder.  So, it's short-circuiting me on an Emotional level right now.   The Young Prince and his Mom are the culprits of not being capable all of the time to run damage control behind themselves.  I am a clutterer, so I have to constantly run damage control behind my own self, but I do it and try to keep on top of my own messes.    I just can't keep on top of everyone else's adequately.  The Son, Princess T and The Man are just not messy, they are Orderly and very tidy in their ways, so they've never been problematic.  I never have to Clean Up behind those Three ever.  I can be my own worse Enemy making Work for myself, but times that by Three of us and it's problematic now.

  And, I'm not dirty, I'm cluttery but clean in my ways. I don't leave dirty Dishes, unclean Clothing, wet Towels, trash, laying around.  What I have laying around is usually Purchases not yet put away, or Inventory not yet Priced and taken to the Antique Mall.  Or transitional Seasonal items from Decorating for a Holiday, taken down, and not yet put away in Seasonal Storage.   Those are my messes and it can look unsightly and make Space not as functional until I take care of it, but, it's not disturbing or alarming to everyone else in the Family, like the other Two's messes can be.  With my mess I've have the other Three, or even The Daughter, ask if they can just Help me put my mess away where it goes... and then it's just Done when it's in placement of where it just should be.  With their messes, those Two, it's a Cleaning Job of epic proportions that could be a Scene from "Hoarders" in an unpleasant way.

The Young Prince was boasting to me he's "almost done" with his Space and was proud as a Peacock to tell me that.  So, I made the mistake of going to take a peek, and OMG, if that's "almost done", we're doomed my Friends!  I had to close the Door quickly and take a Breath so I didn't hyperventilate!!!!!   He really is quite ill and it's showing more than I remember it showing when he and Allen lived here coz I think Allen probably kept things up under Control and ran damage control behind The Young Prince.  So, their Space always looked good even tho' they'd displaced all of my possessions to make that Space their own, so my shit was on the Back Patio under Tarps for a long time.  But, their Space, be it when they were in the Guest Bedroom... and then The Art Studio Space, was always a Vision and Decorated nicely and Clean always.  Now I know that was due to Allen and he deserves the Credit.

And I think perhaps he just burned out completely in the doing of all of that Caregiving, Cleaning/Running Damage Control behind his Husband, and Working a very Physically demanding Career?  He is only in his 20's, so, I highly suspect that was in part, why things deteriorated between them to a point it became unsafe and escalated to a level The Young Prince HAD to leave.  The Young Prince said Allen was becoming Mad at him all of the time, but in seeing the condition of how things can get with his Living Spaces, well, I could see that happening.  *Le Sigh and LOL*  I have to take a deep breath, remind myself that he and his Mom are similarly Unwell, VERY Unwell, and take it from there and in stride.  Coz, it's not like they are ever gonna Get Well, no Cure exists and Managing their type of Mental Illness is a Tall Order all of the time.  So, her not being here means I could recover her Space while she's gone, for now.

We have Caseworkers for The Man and will be getting one for The Young Prince so things have to be in a reasonable amount of Order.  They both need the Services provided and I know any Caseworker is also responsible for looking at Living Conditions to ensure everyone is Safe and can Manage their Daily stuff... when you're Old or Disabled... sometimes that becomes challenging and they know this.  So, it's for the Good of the Client and I Respect that and have always kept a nice Home that any Caseworker didn't have to worry about and always commended us on, so I'd like to keep it that way.  Since The G-Kid Force were Wards of the State since Birth and until Adoption was finalized, I had Caseworkers for them for almost 18 Years straight... and for The Man off and on via the VA and his condition being what it has been for Decades now.  So, I'm used to it and Nurse Remi is great but I haven't met The Young Prince's Caseworker yet, first visit is this Month.

If whoever it is sees his Room right now the "He just Moved in with all his Stuff" might cut it for perhaps Visit No. One without a Write-Up, but after that, I dunno?   And The Daughter, if she gets a Caseworker too, which, she does Need one, the 5th Wheel has to look livable and Sanitary too.  So, I want to get both Spaces to that Standard and KEPT at that Standard.  Both of them know this, but their capability to Maintain their own Spaces is compromised and that's evident and I don't have Staff, so... its a particular Challenge.  There's not enuf Space and keeping it Functional for each of them is an ongoing Full Time Job really. This is as good as it gets.  On an Intellectual level, I acknowledge that Fact.  Coping with it however, is an ongoing challenge.

  *******

Coping is always the challenge in life's issues though, isn't it... Dawn... The Bohemian

Did You Come Here For All Doom And Gloom... Mebbe Some Did... But...Whatever...

 So, Nurse Remi came with Good News, the VA Approved Weekly visits again becoz they could see The Man is declining and needs closer Observation and more Care than Bi-Weekly.   So, for the rest of this Month we're having her come very Tuesday Morning.  His Numbers were very good tho' on his Blood Pressure, Oxygen Saturation and Sugars, but, he hasn't been feeling Great and tires so quickly and easily now, which is concerning.  We gave her a big Box of Citrus from Omar's Trees and Two Big Banana Boxes full of New Adult Small Size Packages of Diapers that we can't use but she can hand out to Clients or send to Nigeria.  She said her Church often sends necessary Medical and Hygiene Supplies to her Home Country and the Ministries set up there, which is wonderful and much needed too.  But she has Clients here who can use some as well.

Then we had Not-So-Good News that The Son ISN'T getting Nutritional Assistance for March after all.  So, he only got $40 worth for January and a full Month's worth for February, but nothing for March.  Which, isn't the 90 Days worth he was told he was Approved for, it's barely over a Month's worth after waiting for any Help since November of last Year!  But, it's better than nothing so he's parsing it out to make it last thru this Month now.  He's been using it sparingly anyway so it lasted thru February and he thinks he can make just the One Months worth actually last for Two Months if he's frugal with it?  They have told him if he does 20 Hours of Volunteer Work a Week he can Qualify for more Assistance Month to Month, but he has to show Proof of either Paid Temp or Part-Time Work, or Volunteer Work.

He should have gotten a Letter then from those Assholes he helped to Move, spending several Days doing it, and then they Stole his brand new Drill that he'd never even used yet.  Mando did give him an identical Used Drill to replace it, so, he's not pushing the Issue with Rob, who asked him to help those People and help him with Moving their whole Household.  No Good Deed goes unpunished, as they say.  He's upset about it but knows not to blindly Trust folks, especially if you don't know them.  Just doing something benevolent to them doesn't mean they won't take advantage and mistake your Kindness for Weakness and still Victimize you.  Many a Good Samaritan has been Victimized by those they only tried to Help.

Anyway, I heard more disturbing things Today but won't comment or Blog about it until I know more about it, Verified.  The Source seems reliable and visibly upset, so for now I have no reason to doubt them at all, and I'd already heard vaguer Rumors about it from someone else.   But, both have been hearing it from someone else and I then don't know how reliable a Source those People are or if it's Speculation and not Factual or even Verified or not?   Without evidence or proof then anything could be faulty information so I've learned never to jump to conclusions myself.  I'm methodical about getting as much information as possible before I draw conclusions about anything I Hear and am told happened.  But, if it turns out to be True, it is disturbing and concerning.

Okay, so last Post I was reminiscing about some 1970's COTY Solid Compact Fragrances I Loved.  I remembered that they did come in many Trios of Fragrances, so that sent me down a Rabbit Hole of chasing Nostalgia.  And Yep, Photos existed to remind me of what other Trios there were and I recall liking just about all of them, but some more than others.  There were so many that came out from 1972 onwards to 1976, and I'd forgotten just how many and what Fragrances they were.  I never did have all of them myself.   There were about a Dozen Trios of the Solids in Compacts as I recall.  And I was in Europe until 1974 so you couldn't always get the same Products there as here in America, and vice versa, some Products were especially made for the International Market.  

The Interweb only offered me some Old Vintage Pixs of Advertisements from way back then.  Some Auctions of such Old Product don't always have the best Photography of it either.  But, this Post got dumped somehow and I've had to completely start over, which is annoying and happening too often lately.  I'll start a Post, Save Changes, come back to it later, add to it and Save those Changes, and somehow the Saved Changes weren't Saved from the latest additions to the Post and I only will get the earlier version that isn't as complete and the rest was Lost!!!  I'm no Tech Guru and I am Tech Challenged, so I don't know how it's happening, just that it is happening.  And it pisses me off coz it wasted a lot of Time and Effort put into Posts I'm actively Working on and it just decides to dump the later version of it and keep an earlier version of it!!!

So, I don't even recall all of what I'd Written and added Imagery of that was just dumped without me doing it.  *Le Sigh*  I'm Mad about it, but no way to retrieve what involuntarily dumped and didn't Save.  Even tho' I know I'd Saved the Updated Version coz Changes Saved actually does it Automatically as I'm Typing this right now!!!   I can Save it myself Manually too anytime, but, once it's Saved how the fuck can that just reverse itself and only Keep an earlier Version of the same thing?  Someone more Tech Savvy than me will have to explain it.   Coz the "Post:Edit" Tab only had One of this Post Open when I walked away... and when I came back it was a much earlier version of this Post Open and not the Updated one, WTF!!!  I was livid coz I almost had the whole damned Post done, loaded with Images... and had to almost start from scratch now!

I decided not to even include some of the original Images and I can't remember the Post Content I added to this... so... it will have to just be a completely New Stream of Consciousness then... dammit!!!  I just know it had looked Good before I went to Eat, and disappeared when I came back and all that remained was mebbe 1/4 of what I used to have of it Saved!!!!!   I mean, at least I didn't lose it all and had that Quarter of it retained that had been Written... and with only 3 Images not dumped!!!   Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck!!!  But, whaddya gonna do?  Take a Deep Breath and start over is the only Option really.   But, I don't have to Like it and I am highly agitated about it coz it's not the first time it's happened and I'd like to know how and why it happens to avoid the hassle of it?!

I'd gone into great Details about my Research of the Nostalgic 1970's COTY Solid Trios Products I'd Loved back then too.  Now I don't feel up to trying to lay all that out again for ya, Sorry.  *Le Sigh*  And mebbe nobody Cares.  I do recall also having the "Woods" Compact {Amberwood, Patchouli, Sandalwood}, the "Grasses" Compact {Clover, Gingergrass, Hay}, the "Herbs" Compact {Chamomile, Sage, Caraway} and "Wild Flowers" Compact {Jasmine, Honeysuckle, Ylang Ylang}.  There were so many others and I don't remember a lot of them being on the European Market offered, and they did seem to put out Seasonal Ltd. Edition Fragrances in Trios that I had not heard of or seen.  I didn't come back to the U.S. until 1974 and still had my Compacts I'd bought in Europe.  One I might STILL have actually, if I can locate it again!

The Young Prince Lost/Misplaced his Wallet and can't locate it now!  And... rather than doing what I'd told him to do for Safety Sake, by keeping his Money in the Accounts I just helped him set up at the Bank, he'd taken most of his Money out in Cash and had it in the Wallet.  *Le Sigh*   He's used to Cash and not using a Debit Card, The Son too.  And for the Life of me I can't convince them that if they happen to Lose or Misplace a Debit Card or have it Stolen, their Money is still Safer coz all they have to do is notify the Bank, the Card gets Closed, and they'll be Re-Issued a new Card with little to no Risk to their Funds.  But, Cash in a Wallet... when it's Gone, you're shit out of Luck unless you locate it again and the Money is still in it.  Both of them can be Airheads, which is Why I helped them set up Accounts.

But they're Grown and their preferred Habits are what they just are.  I'm the same way and some changes I don't embrace and prefer to do things as I've always done them too.  So, I'm not without a Point of Reference to opposing Change that might even be Good for me and resisting it to my own detriment sometimes.  I tried to be Positive Today and it was just hard coz mostly there was a lot going on not to be Positive about.  I had another fight with our Internet/Cable/Landline Phone Provider.  Since January I've been trying to be kept on Paper Billing Cycles.  They keep reverting it back to Paperless, which, doesn't work coz my E-Mail Account thru Juno E-Mail was involuntarily Closed and I HATE E-Mail anyway, plus, I don't want Paperless Billing.  Resisting that Change, if they wanna get Paid, Bill me thru the fucking Mail.

So, for the 3rd Month in a row they didn't generate a Statement to Mail to me and then make a Collection Call.  And, to make me even more pissed off, they want you to then pay the next Month due even tho' it's not Due yet and they didn't intend to generate a Statement for March either!!!   I had sent February in already, they reluctantly generated a Late Statement for me as requested.  The Day I received it I Paid it and Mailed it back, they claimed they hadn't gotten it on time and I said, that's coz YOU didn't generate the Statement ON TIME and I've been requesting one every Month since January!!!  They went Paperless in 2026 unless you Opted Out of it, which, I did... time and time again for over Three Months now!!!   March wasn't due yet and I wasn't re-issuing February coz I'd already sent that Payment in.  They were gonna turn off Services if they didn't either get February now... or March now.  *Le Sigh*

I've been a Cox Customer since the 1990's when it only Cost $8 a Month.  Them were the days. Now they got Fiber Optics and it's been nothing but a cluster fuck since the Upgrades.  And I told them if they didn't wanna lose us as a Loyal Customer, get their shit together and Bill me as I've asked them to AND do it ON TIME so I can pay them ON TIME!!!  Simple.  But, you can Save the Cost of a Stamp they argued.  I told them the Time and Aggravation they've Caused since January has Cost me much more than a fucking Stamp.  And I don't mind the Cost of a Stamp, I want a detailed Bill broken down as to what they're Charging and Why, coz they've fucked that up in the Past too and tried to overcharge me.  This is why I want Paper Evidence for my Files too... I want the Receipts.  Of coarse I was speaking to first a Filipino Woman in the Philippines, allegedly named Valerie, whose English was poor and who got so flustered she just hung up on me after I'd waited over 20 Minutes to even get a Human instead of a Bot!!! 

So I was already Mad when I overrode the Bots again and got John from India this time, who was at least more English proficient and tried to be Sweet, overly Polite and Helpful.  He's probably an indentured Slave working against his Will in Miramar?  He didn't hang up on me but my Problem wasn't on his Script either so he was getting flummoxed on how to handle the Call?  I'm like, Listen John, or whatever your Name really is... I'm not Mad at YOU, but, I'm also not making a Nine Hundred Dollar Plus payment I don't Owe either.  So, this is what we're gonna now do.  No way you can now generate a March Statement in time to get it to me to Pay March on Time, it's Due in 3 Days.  So, this one time I'll agree to pay March only by Phone and without a detailed Statement of how and what you've charged me for March... and February has already been sent by Mail, so I'm not re-issuing it, okay?  He finally agreed or I told him I was cancelling Service and he'd never get paid.  Capisce?    He decided getting March Payment early was better than getting Nothing... and February is already in Transit with USPS.

It seems the more Technology they use and rely upon, the more fucked up all of these Businesses are in how they're doing business poorly and incompetently.   And the Outsourcing has always been annoying, but the Bots and AI are more annoying and more flawed already.  The Kiosks most places insist on you using almost always don't work properly.  At one Convenience Store the Clerk didn't want to help me in person, she was playing on her Phone and insisted I use the Kiosk.  I told her I don't like them coz they always malfunction.  She got surly and rude, said I HAD to use the Kiosk for my Transaction.  Okay, under Protest I did... I used a Debit Card, it malfunctioned and spit out almost $37 in Cash as my "Change", even tho' it had Debited the Correct amount on my Card!  So, I walked off with the Money, fuck them and their malfunctioning Kiosk... let her explain the shortfall, I didn't give a shit, she didn't wanna do her Job and Help me so something like that wouldn't happen.

Next time I came in to the same Store she was there and the Kiosk was now Closed down for "Repairs" so she had to do her Job.  She mentioned that it had been malfunctioning and giving people Cash it shouldn't have or not giving People Change it should have.  I just Smiled and said, well, I told you I don't like using them coz they always malfunction, I'm glad they Closed it down then.  I'd much rather a Person handle the transaction, so, that if there's a mistake, it can be properly addressed for everyone's benefit.   She was a lot less snarky and mebbe not doing her Job properly got her Attitude Adjusted by their Management perhaps, coz she wasn't helping Patrons and not paying Attention.  The Store could have gotten robbed blind, she was playing on her Phone and likely wouldn't have looked up enuf to even notice.  And giving everyone her Bad pissy Attitude who came in, all not Good for Business.  The Employee don't seem to Care.

And, the Companies seem to wanna hire the Cheapest Labor they can regardless of Attitude, Customer Service or Competency, or no Humans at all... so... whatever.   So if they do lose $$$ over it, I don't really Care.  It's certainly why their Employees don't Care.  And so why should their Customers Care either if they aren't being treated right, whether you are trying to do the right thing or not really doesn't seem to matter to any of these Businesses by how they Act towards their Customers anymore.   Sometimes we have to Deal with them if no other Options exist, but if Options exist, the Consumer has the Advantage of who NOT to do Business with anymore.  In fact, The State is now sending a Caseworker to our Home to Help The Grandson apply for Arizona Medicaid, coz they know otherwise, they ain't getting Paid for his Medical Bills either coz nobody is taking his Medicaid from New Mexico, which is still Active BTW... but apparently Medicaid doesn't interface State to State.  Not his Problem really. 

He's SMI and Unemployable, would be Homeless if we didn't take him in, has no Income, and if they continue to Neglect him, would end up Institutionalized completely on their Dime.  Which, conservatively would cost the State about Eighty Grand Plus a Month for Institutionalized Care of someone like him.   So, his Medical Bills are a drop in the Bucket, a Raindrop in an Ocean of potential Expenses on their Dime.  So, I really didn't Care and told them they best sort it out as quickly as possible coz he's 25 now and needs a Patient Advocate, a Caseworker, a Shrink, Psyche Meds, Nutritional Assistance, Medical Insurance, Mental Health Coverage, and possibly a Therapist.  All on their Dime coz he can't Pay and is very Unwell and it ain't getting any better with Neglect or Indifference and Collection Calls by them, coz, no fucking Cure.  And I can't 'Fix' any of it.  I'm a good 'Fixer' but some shit can't be Fixed. They have since been very accommodating... which was their 'other' Option.  *Winks*

Listen, he really doesn't Care if they ever get Paid, half the time he's on Planet Schizophrenia and not tethered to Reality at all.  He can't even keep track of his own Wallet, which... is somewhere... with all the Money he has in the World in it, except for the bare amount to keep his Account Open.  *Le Sigh*   And, tho' I'd really Like to Care, The System is so broken that I just can't anymore.   I only JUST got my Appeal Approved for my own Medicare fiasco that The System had fucked up, so I really wasn't in the Mood to Deal with an Adult Grandchild's Medicaid that is all fucked up too.  Not my Problem... and he's entitled to an Appointed Patient Advocate since he's Incompetent to handle it on his own... that's the Legality of it and their responsibility to sort out satisfactorily if Providers wanna get Paid.  Whadda they gonna get from him, he has Nothing?!  And expecting getting Something out of Nothing is... well... Crazy.

They help the Rich get Richer at the expense of all Americans, but they won't help the Poor get basic Needs that are Humane and dignified, and it just gets to the point I get Militant about it.  They spent more on this War in the first 48 Hours than they spend on all Social Services probably Annually.  And the Money they've thrown at ICE is obscene and more than funding our Military.  So it's not like they can't get the Money and spend it when they just want to and prioritize something.  I for one am fed up with it all and won't be Played with the Spin they put on everything thinking us all to be that gullible and uneducated.  And it pains me to see vulnerable Loved Ones suffering and neglected by a System that doesn't give a shit about them as Human Beings.  It's inhumane, I wouldn't want an Animal to be mistreated or neglected inhumanely, let alone another Human Being.

So, every so often you just have to make Good Trouble.  The Change you hope to Be might not even happen in our Lifetime so we won't see it.  But, mebbe it will move the Needle in the Right direction as Generations before us fought so hard to Be the Change that was Needed.  I think about our Ancestors that kept Hope and fought for what was Right on our behalf.  It Honors them to keep on fighting the Good Fight and making that Good Trouble for Generations to come.  Anyway, I Hope his Caseworker is a worthy one?  Some are.  It's the roll of the Dice what you get.  But, it's a Start so he's at least a little bit Hopeful now that they're sending someone to Help him wade thru The System.  It's exhausting even for me, he just can't do it.

I just had a HUMANA Rep call Yesterday and I couldn't take the Call coz I had the VA Nurse here for The Man, I'm thinking, now what?    I got my new Card and everything seems to be on Track now.  Social Security just sent me evidence they corrected what I should be getting Monthly and refunded me what I'd been inappropriately penalized, so that's on Track now too.  Medicare went up Monthly in 2026, but, at least we still have it and didn't get permanently dumped by all Providers.  The Family Members who Qualify for Medicaid don't pay for it, coz, you mostly have to be indigent to even Qualify to receive it so they know you have no Income or just SSI in some cases, or Poverty Income in other Cases, which, some of my Loved ones don't have at all.

The Niece called from Texas, the New Job is challenging coz they hired her to make Changes and put her in Management to do it, so, she's immediately resented by the Employees who want to do things as they've always done them.  She's there to upgrade the Systems, make them more efficient and productive, folks have milked an inefficient and less productive System for so long I think they're now fearful it could displace them or spotlight how poorly their production really is and has been, costing the Company a lot of needless waste and expense of losing Money.  She just needed to hear that coz she was feeling like the Villain and she knows Companies Hired me to be a Fixer and sometimes Fixing things means you won't be viewed Positively by everyone who doesn't really want things Fixed if it's working for them to keep it where a Grift can happen or get more Overtime coz of the inefficiency to get things done in a timely manner or even meet Deadlines.

She was telling me of just One Program she Designed and implemented that eliminated 14 Steps they were doing that weren't necessary, when it only takes One if Designed correctly and upgraded.   Their System was so Archaic but Employees wanted to keep it that way coz now it's sped things up that they could Milk for a whole day and now takes Seconds.  She's brilliant, but felt perhaps she's moving too fast and changing too much too soon, so she doesn't want some to intentionally sabotage things to get her out of there during her Probationary Period?   It's a delicate balance and I'm confident she'll figure it out, so encouraged her.  But I know she can be abrasive and frustrated with those that can't keep up, coz a lot of Genius people aren't necessarily good at Peopling or dumbing shit down for the masses or those who aren't on Board with necessary Change coz they know they can't keep up and keep pace.  She knows she's Rocking the Boat and that never Wins Friends, but it can influence Enemies.

Some will lose their Jobs too and she knows this.  Coz some of the Staff are redundant already and not even up to doing what they're doing now, coz they're doing it poorly already.   Let alone an improved System they're fighting against and incapable of handling.  Of coarse the Employer is Investing in her to ensure they move with the Times and remain competitive and upgraded sufficiently to serve their Clients and not lose Business to Competitors.  And it took so long for her to find a really good Position again coz the Job Market is really not good at any levels right now, even top tier, for a host of reasons.   The Son has discovered this unfortunate fact.  Plus he's on the cusp of 40 and The Niece is in her late 40's now, so they're in that awkward spot where Ageism will be a barrier to Employment now.  The overqualified dilemma is as Real as the underqualified one is.

I have a lot of experience, Wisdom and knowledge, but I told her that doesn't equate to being Employable at my Season of Life.  Unless I settle for being a Wal-Mart Greeter or something now.  And, I know I couldn't keep Pace now, I'm a Dinosaur and freely admit I am.  And could we still be an Asset or Add Value is quite subjective... and often we Cost too much to Buy our Expertise now.   She Laughed, The Son Laughs too, but they know I'm spitting Truth and accepting my Reality.  I wouldn't even Want to be in the Corporate Grind anymore.  I don't like the direction it's all been moving for some time now, even when I was in The Game, in the Industries I knew best.  Both Banking and Criminal Law have been so infiltrated and Corrupted now that Honestly, I wouldn't even wanna be Dealing with the Morality Issue of it all as an Employee. 

  And with this Regime, it's breaking Systems that did Work for the People or should have, coz it's just all just one Criminal Enterprise now to Grift, Exploit and Profit from as much as the Elite can get away with and make Billions off of.  And, they're getting away with everything now, no holds barred, no Guard Rails, no consequences.  Follow the Money and you'll know exactly who the Apex Predators of this Criminal Enterprise are.  And how Rich they're getting off of it all and either paying off, threatening, intimidating, extorting and/or Blackmailing and Shaking Down along the way, anyone who stands in the way.   The Revenge and Retribution Tour is now in full swing and you're either Predator or Prey at this juncture.  And the Criminally inclined be doing what Criminals do best, Crime.  If you have a Strong Moral Compass you could never make a Good Criminal or want to be Complicit in their Activities.

I did Well keeping my Moral Compass intact this long, so I'm not willing to compromise my Integrity, Character or Moral Standards now to Go Along with what's happening to America.  I don't Like it and I won't participate in it.   It's a Choice each has to make, choose Wisely is all I Warn about that.  Everything comes at a Cost and a Price, you got to decide what you're willing to Pay and how you wanna Play The Game?   And which Side of History you'll end up standing on?   And it won't just be in $$$ rest assured, the Money aspect of it is the easier and least 'Costly' part of it.  If you do Deals with Devils, you'll be Selling your Soul too and getting in Deep, often over your fucking Head DEEP, Blood In, Blood Out, it's no Joke.   Far too many folks learn too late who they jumped in 'Bed' with and are now Owned by.   Whether you Sell yourself for a little or a lot, they now know your Moral Standing, and the rest is just haggling about your Price to be Bought.

 Lots of Buying of Folks going on, and we know whose been Bought and Paid for, pretty much, it's not like they're not being obviously compromised.   And I also see whose been Groomed and Owned for a very long time that are in that Inner Circle and now Nepo Hired and Protecting their Predators.   Some may have started out as Victims, but now are very instrumental in Procuring for The Cause.  And that whole Back Story, if ever Revealed, would be very Interesting to dissect and examine.  In that whole Sex Trafficking World the exploited being Prostituted often will be 100% Down for their Pimps and Abusers, Procuring and Luring New Recruits.   And the more Powerful the Criminal Enterprise, the more Dangers for everyone involved at every level, new levels, more Powerful Devils.  

 

So, do I really think Justice will be Served now?  Doubtful, coz the Food Chain is way the fuck up there.  Expect to see more alleged 'Suicides' and Disappearances if anyone is inclined to Sing and give anyone up.  And some don't even look like themselves anymore, coz... mebbe they're not...    And we can't Believe a lot of what we Hear and with AI being a convenient Tool for deception and nefarious purposes, we may not be able to Believe much of what we See anymore either in due time.  And that's the Point, keep everyone confused and duped, so they really can't discern what is happening and it might be too late when they finally do.  And a great many aren't even Paying Attention in the first place so they're not even remotely Informed and don't wanna be either.  They operate under the Assumption Ignorance is Bliss, when, in Fact, it's just Ignorance.   Which has never really benefitting anybody.

Anyway, enough of all that, I know most of you know it's Bad and are remaining adequately Informed enuf to try to remain Safest thru it all.  I just can't find the compassion to Care about those who Support any of it at this juncture, coz they'll get what's coming to them.  Karma being the ultimate Bitch and I'm Okay with that if all the Supporters of it Go Down, every last one of them, good riddance.   If you had the opportunity to do the Right thing and choose not to, your Choices have consequences eventually and they're usually not pleasant ones.  Worrying about the price of Gas as a Priority, will be the least of the Worries coming.  So, let's Talk about something else now, shall we?  *Winks*  I know you didn't come here for all Doom and Gloom... or mebbe some did... but... whatever.  *LOL*

I just discovered how my Updated Post disappeared coz it almost happened again!   The "Pose:Edit Draft" had Opened up in Two Tabs and if you aren't paying attention to which one Closes Down first, if you don't catch that the Computer still kept an Older One, that One Saves as the Updated version even tho' it's not.  So now I have to remember, if I step away from the Computer, if one is just Up or now Two are showing as Active and manually Close Down the earlier version in order to ensure the later version is the one Saved before it's Published.  *Whew*  Glad I figured that out by accident, like I said, I'm Tech Challenged and when the Computer seems to have a Mind of it's Own and changing things I'm unaware of, I don't always catch it in time.  It's like when Spellchecker completely changes a Word and presumes to know what you wanted to say and it's not the Right Word at all and an incorrect Assumption on the part of the Technology.  I HATE that, I know what I wanna say and I don't want it Changed involuntarily by any "Helpful" Tool I didn't give permission to Change anything on my behalf.

     

I don't want AI or Spellchecker to put Words in my Mouth or Write anything "For" me, coz I'm quite capable of articulating what I mean and want to say all on my own.  *Winks*  I'm not Inhibited about speaking my Mind freely and boldly, never have been, never will be.  I don't have Need of a Bot or Artificial alleged "Intelligence" overseeing everything I do or say.   I'm not relinquishing my Voice to say whatever I want to on my own.  If I feel I do Need Help, I will ask for it, otherwise, even AI can stay in it's own Lane and not stray into mine.   I don't like they're pushing it often involuntarily now, I don't want to be forced to use something I don't Trust and feel is a potentially dangerous thing to turn loose on Society.  Even tho' it already has been, I will continue to resist it like anything else I think is unhealthy and not well thought out of the Negative Impact of and consequences we'll face due to it.  When even the Creators of it seem to be Walking Back on it, and openly saying, shit... didn't expect THIS or THAT to happen... that's concerning.

I'm quite sure every Development of things that got out of Hand have the same reaction when it goes awry.  Like Killer Bees, Biological Weapons, Atomic Bombs, Bad/Dangerous Drugs... the Laundry List is pretty long already of Ooopsies.  And now we gotta run damage control behind what we've Created and unleashed upon Society and the World's Natural Order of things, that are fucking things up terribly and we can't undo now.   Pandora's Box Opened is rarely gonna go Well.  In Greek Mythology, in case you're unfamiliar with the Story, Pandora's Box once Opened unleashed and released all Evils, Plagues, and Hardships upon Humanity, Disease, Misery, Misfortune, leaving only Hope trapped inside.  Pandora was entrusted with this Box and told to never Open it. Moral of that Story, to me: Even a Small Impulsive Action can lead to unforeseen, uncontrollable and disastrous consequences sometimes.

*******

Be Well and stay Safe my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian