Sunday, September 20, 2020

Reflections In A Time Of COVID And Icons Lost

Our Antique Mall is having a Three Day Sale Event and I don't quite know how to feel about so many people showing up.  On the one hand I'm glad there's lots of Shoppers spending Money and boosting Sales, since they've been so Soft during most of Pandemic and Economically everyone's hurting.  On the other hand there is a Pandemic still going on and when lots of people show up anywhere, it's not a good thing right now to attract that many.  Perhaps too many at once and risk spread and Super Spreader situations.  How much is Too Many, I'm not even sure anymore?  So, I'm very conflicted now about things like Sales, Events, Celebrations, Festivals, State Fairs, Carnivals, Parties, Rallies, etcetera... in fact, many things that I used to Love and look forward to attending some of, prior to a Plague being upon us.


If it's something Positive and Enriching it's a shame when it cannot be held due to the Pandemic, or has to have strict limitations on attendance.  It's necessary though and most of us recognize that Reality and act accordingly to be as responsible and Safe as possible and risk assess prudently.  Some don't tho', too many still don't in fact, and are militant about it, therein is the real problem when Covidiots show up and increase risks exponentially.  I just don't wanna Deal with all that AND the Pandemic too, since now it can Trigger me like nothing else!  Is anyone else as Raw about it by now?  Before, in Public, I never gave much thought to the people who might be around me, now I'm much more vigilant and aware.  As vigilant as I would have previously been in any potentially unsafe or dangerous situation I might find myself in.

When anything or anyone poses a Threat, I go into Survival Mode and take a defensive stance to protect myself and those I Love.  I'm not one to just be Polite if you're doing anything that puts me or mine at risk.  If you can't handle that, it's your problem now to Deal with the consequences of putting me or mine at risk.  I'm not at all interested in your Political Statement you may be trying to make, or your personal views and Layman understanding about Science and Disease.  By taking risky actions and ignoring or defying Public Health Mandates and the Science of how to behave during a Global Plague, you now are part of the Problem.  I just don't want to be anywhere around you, further even than Social Distancing Guidelines!  If your actions cause you to get Sick and Die from your ignorance and where you placed your Trust in Guiding you, that was your Free Will Choice, not mine to end up like you because of you.

I've already Lost people to the Virus and if you haven't yet, you might, perhaps then it will get Real for you in a Heartbeat?  I also don't want to catch it or Die from it.  It is not an easy way to go and I doubt most Human Beings want to Die horribly, no matter who you are.  I doubt anyone wants to see anyone they Love and Care about suffering and Dying horribly either or permanently Disabled from the effects of it.   I doubt most want to risk Dying Alone, or just around Strangers with nobody they know by their side, during that time when they know they are Dying and won't have anyone Present that matters.  I doubt most want to say their final Good-Byes over a Doctor or Nurse's Cellphone, or worse, not be able to do it at all.  That's the current Reality that too many still completely ignore or are in complete Denial about. 

 Over 200,000+ Dear Souls have already met that horrible Fate in this Country alone.  There are over 3,200+ just in the County I reside in, we haven't done so well in our State with Republican Leadership.  We are still having as many as 2,000 New Cases daily of the Infected... those that have been Tested and are Known to have it and are Symptomatic.  No telling how many haven't been Tested and don't Know because they're Asymptomatic but still highly contagious?!   Or perhaps are among the other fortunate few who only had mild symptoms and a full recovery, with no dire after effects and permanent Disabling conditions from having had it.  Even if you're among one of the Lucky ones, would you really have a Peace about Contact Tracing coming back to you being the one who infected someone who perished or became permanently Disabled because of you?  

I wouldn't want to bear the weight and Guilt of knowing I was responsible for someone else's horrible Death and the suffering their Loved Ones will have to now endure for the rest of their Lifetimes.  Taking all the precautions we can to be responsible Citizens is all we can do in hopes that never happens.  But what about those who throw all Caution to the Wind, won't take adequate precautions and are acting irresponsibly on Purpose?  It is reckless endangerment at best and negligent Homicide at worse to behave in such a manner, when you know what that outcome could mean and result in Death for another Human Being.  It makes you a Killer plain and simple, whether Charges are filed or not.  It's not just and all about YOU when it's a highly infectious Disease you could be spreading.

We just had the Vice President Host yet another Super Spreader Rally for Veterans, near the AFB and in our Community, to try to run damage control behind his Boss calling those who Serve Losers and Suckers.   I can't Forgive this President's brazen disrespect and utter contempt of our Veterans, Active Duty Personnel and those who Died in Service to Country, along with their Families.  Mebbe some Veterans and their Families can Forgive him or still show Loyalty and Devotion, but jamming into a Rally they've been Invited to by his Administration is just foolhardy, this far into the Pandemic we know it's a horrible idea.  I resent him holding yet another Rally in the Valley that they already know will increase Spread, because such gatherings are Super Spreader Events with Negative consequences for the Communities they're Hosted them in!  They know this, they don't Care, it puts us ALL at further and higher risk... Splendid! 

More people get sick and Die after each irresponsible decision to have one and now it has to be intentional that they're spreading this Disease in certain Communities on purpose.  I don't even pretend to understand why any Administration would do that to any of it's Citizens, who they should be Protecting, but this is no garden variety Administration to try to figure out. There is a lot that is worsening in our Country and I predict that it will continue beyond this Crazy Election, no matter who wins and who loses.  We all lose when everything circles the drain tho', that's a stark Fact!  When too much damage has been irreversibly done, we will all have plenty of time to regret not stopping it sooner and having Unity of Purpose to ensure that Goal.

  It is a fact that every American will have to Face and square off with the consequences of eventually, Hindsight is always 20-20.  Most people don't realize what they've got in the way of a good thing 'til it's gone.  Being robbed of it will certainly make them feel violated and nobody really wants to admit they were the victim of a successful Conman either and suffered Loss because of allowing themselves to Trust and Believe one. There is a lot to be done, and divided we are unlikely to be up to doing it effectively when there is no Unity of Purpose to make things Right and to do the Right things.  Or to rise to the occasion of being decent Human Beings towards all other Human Beings.  Differences exist, all kinds of them, and they will continue to exist whether you like it or not, embrace it or not, resist it or not.  The World is a very diverse place, we were never meant to be anything but unique and varied Individuals.  And that's not a Bad thing!

Very few things in Nature are exactly the same, even Snowflakes differ and just Imagine that, the sheer Numbers of them and that each is unique and different!  All the variables that form each Snowflake... temperature, humidity, path and speed... are also the reasons that no Two are exactly alike.  Our Environment and Path shapes us too, our DNA and our Experiences form who we become.  We are all always Becoming and hopefully continuing to Grow in Positive ways and become our Best Selves during our brief time spent on this side of Time and Eternity.  Will the World actually be a better place and better off for you having been in it?  That's really a question we must all ask ourselves with complete candor.  If not, if you're not Dead yet, there's still time to change that outcome.  Nobody can make that Change FOR you though, it's Self Work you have to do. 

We're losing so many of our Iconic Heroes now, though their Legacies shall live on, I do Hope a new Generation will pick up the Causes and Fight the Good Fights into the Future.  The World is a better place for those Icons who fought for Change and Human Rights.  The Positive Changes they fought so hard to attain for us can't be allowed to be undone in a Generation, by those trying to take them away and go back to a darker time in our Country's History.  There are some things in the Past that should stay in the Past forever.  Racial, Sexual and Gender Discrimination among them should be getting better, not worse, as we become a more Civilized, Enriched and Advanced Society. 

 Just mere Days before my Beloved Pastor Died he delivered an Online Service Message about Racism in America.  I wept as he delivered it, knowing it had been his last Service and last Message to deliver, one as he likely knew he was Dying and wanted to impart before his departure.   It had been his Hope and Dream that he would see it end in his Lifetime, the extreme Bias and Prejudices of Human Beings against other Human Beings, ALL of which The Creator Created, alas, it would not, certainly not for our Generation anyway.   It had been my Hope and Dream too, so it Grieves my Heart as much as it had Grieved his to see it increasing in America rather than decreasing and ending once and for all.  I don't Believe it's too late to turn that around tho', we need more Iconic People to pass the baton to and finish the marathon begun so long ago.

Most of us have done all we can for as long as we can and as well as we can during our own Lifetime.  I am making the most out of each day in each moment that I have left on this Earth, savoring what is still good and brings Joy.  I Hope you have been able to do the same my Friends?  It is a Beautiful World, if we become devout Good Stewards of it you would be amazed at what is possible and the Healing and growth that can take place.   We MUST choose our Leaders wisely, they make most of the important decisions for their respective Nations and for their People.  They could also be the undoing of any Nation and it's People and have a Global ripple effect that is Toxic and dangerous.   Choose well in November, so much is at stake and will alter the Course of History!


Blessings, Love, Light, Peace and Hope from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Saturday, September 19, 2020

No Blue Funk Today

 I'm not feeling as overwhelmed and in a Blue Funk today, so I'm in a better Head Space than my Rant Post.  That's how it goes, each day in Lock Down being a brand new Adventure of Mood Swings and the monotony of days spent waiting out this Pandemic.  We also had Prickly Pear Cactus Jelly on Artisan Toast this Morning, which is a very nice way to begin any day.  I have been seeking out unusual Jams and Jellies to stock the Pantry with, rather than the popular flavors that are expected.  The Man loves to try new ones as much as I do, so far we haven't had any we didn't like.  Granted, if the most exciting part of our day is trying a new flavor of Jam or Jelly, on top of a new Artisan Bread, that's very telling about how Pandemic and Lock Down is affecting our daily itinerary and what we now find Simple Joys in!  *LOL*

Photographing said Jams/Jellies in a Cupboard gives you some inkling of the Boredom Factor around here too.  Princess T voluntarily spent an entire Evening Organizing my Cupboards and Pantry, that's how Bored she's been and why it looks so neat and organized! *Smiles*  I can see the Floor in her Room again too, so she's been on a Manic Cleaning and Organizing Bender again, but it too shall pass.  Princess T got all Dolled Up just to go Skateboarding on her new one she got for her Birthday.  She's all dressed up to go absolutely nowhere, so she's feeling the monotony of days too, clearly!  You just have to find reasons to do more than you have to, it improves your Mood and your outlook.

  Me, I am still in a mishmash of regular T-Shirt reminding me to "Always Wear Your Invisible Crown" and Pajama Bottoms with Polka Dots, I'm a Vision!  *Bwahahaha!*  I have been dressing up to go out more often now and every once in a while, even tho' Masked Up, I put on some Eye Make-Up again and Accessorize. I had abandoned the Practice for a while, it wasn't a Good Look. I was looking very Mad Max Post Apocalyptic, only I didn't quite Rock it like Tina Turner's Character.  *Bwahahaha!*

Lately I've been rubber banding some of my Dreadlocks so they'll Congo together and have less of them, but stronger ones.  Fifty was too many anyway to keep track of Maintaining. The length is making them real heavy now, so I need more width near the Roots to avoid thinning or breakage.  Thicker ones will mean less flexibility to them for Styling, but I can't have Micro-Dreads down to my Waist. They would potentially be too fragile and not strong enough for their weight.  So, I'll be now having me some phat ones as they grow exponentially past my Waistline now.  I never expected this much length so quickly only 3 Years in!  If they ever need to be cut/trimmed, that should be interesting what you'd use to do it?!  Cigar cutters, Hedge Trimmers, a Machete?! *LOL*

Oddly, my Hair quit Greying once I got Dreadlocks and came back to my Natural Color of Youth, which was lighter Blondish-Brown.  I wasn't opposed to an Ombre Effect of Brown to Silver Dreads, and rather expected that to happen instead, it might have looked Cool.  But I've not been one to like the Maintenance of Dying one's Hair, so it's all Good whatever Color it decides it wants to be now.  I'm perfectly Okay with it deciding it wasn't going Grey, for now, and reverting back to a less dull Color of my Younger Days.  Interesting indeed, I can't explain it, since I'm still clearly Aging every other kind of way. *Smiles*   For the first time I really do like how my Hair just is now, I should have done Dreadlocks Thirty Years ago I think, it would have curbed a lot of Hair Envy I always had.

When you have Fine, fragile, slow growing, straight Hair, there's not much you can do with it and when you do anything it was always a long term commitment.  So the long term commitment of Dreadlocks didn't really bother me at all, my Fear had always been, what if my Hair is too Thin and Straight so that it will look ridiculously pathetic or not Loc Up?   What if I don't look good in Dreadlocks and commit to them, because I knew combing them out wouldn't work for me at all with Fragile Hair, so I'd have to Rock the Sinead O'Connor Look for a while.  I was pretty damned certain I wouldn't quite Rock it like Sinead, so that was pretty much why I hesitated.  

Until, some Diabetic Meds were messing with my Hair and it was falling out, so a Young Friend with Dreadlocks convinced me to Go For It FINALLY, after talking about doing it for some time.  It solved Hair Loss immediately, and slow growth and breakage, and having Thin High Maintenance Hair. Booyah, I'd finally found my Hair Nirvana!  Now, here was the Tricky part, there isn't a lot of info out there ANYWHERE about Dreadlock Care or the installation of forming them.  The little bit that is out there has loads of controversies and Camps of what is best and what to avoid.  Ninety-Nine Point Nine Percent of Salons have no Clue how to do them or Care for them.  It's still an Outsider Hairstyle/Lifestyle so you gotta get your info from long-time Dreadheads.  I was fortunate I knew some who were over Nine Years to Thirty Plus Years in to Mentor me.  So it worked out for me well, no hiccups or Trial and Error. *Whew!*

Now, some days I'm inclined to look like this Guy, only I got a whole lot more Hair to look this Crazy!  *LOL*  But the absolute Beauty of having Dreadlocks is it can look Crazy and still not be considered a Bad Hair Day.  I no longer have Bad Hair Days EVER and that's really empowering and liberating to never have to worry about your damned Hair again EVER.  Just keep 'em Clean and keep 'em Separated... and the latter I'm not even doing so much anymore since I want some of the thinner ones to Congo to strengthen them.  I was a bit worried about Banding at first since I wondered if the tiny Black Congo Bands would suck into the Dread and get lost up in there?  But, as it turns out, after a while they just break and fall off and by then the Congo has begun and the Dreads have absorbed one another like you wanted them to and become One.

So, now that we've covered the Excitement of the Exotic Jams/Jellies in my Pantry, my Hair and Visuals of the Chicken Taxidermy in my Boudoir, because doesn't everyone have Chickens in there... *Bwahahahaha*... what else should I cover here so as to continue to avoid and ignore housekeeping, unpacking, and all the other things I should probably be doing instead?  *Winks*  Avoidance, I'm getting really adept at it, I can now Avoid shit for an extended period of time that is quite Impressive!  I do know that once I'm on a Roll and tackling it all tho', I'll make remarkable Progress, so I've decided not to sweat it or fixate on it.  When I fixate, it is never Good!  *LOL* 

Today I am going to try to tackle cleaning up the small piles of clutter laying about in some of the Rooms, so that I'll feel I made some progress in tidying up the house.  An untidy Home always gets me down, I like things to be neat and orderly, even tho' I'm no Domestic Goddess, so the actual cleanliness is clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy.  We changed the Air Filters this Morning, the old ones showing evidence it had been a real dusty poor air quality Month with all the Dust Storms we've had and Fires raging.  I did some work on the Aquariums too, I think the Marble Mollies had a few Babies and I've been trying to catch them to put in the Nursery Tank.

  They are so small and translucent they look like tiny Eyeballs swimming around and my Eyeballs aren't that good and they're lightening fast.  So that's not working out so well... I managed to catch One and transfer it over to safety. You can't even tell if you have them in the Net, it's like catching Grains of Rice, only they're smaller than a Grain of Rice and it's their Nature to hide so they don't get eaten!  So I've been staring intently in the Big Tank to see if any movement in the Plants catches my Eye and then try to flush them out but without attracting attention to them for the Big Fish to notice... the logistics clearly aren't in my Favor.  I also keep the other Fish well fed so they won't want Infanticide Sushi.

The last of the Panda Mollies croaked before she gave signs of looking like she would have any Babies from her now deceased Boyfriend, who Died a Week before her.  She'd looked perfectly healthy, then suddenly didn't and was Dead by Morning.  So, no more buying of Tropical Fish from PetCo, their mortality rate is abysmal and I haven't had that problem with Petsmart Fish.  Yes, PetCo replaced the first Male Panda Molly to Die in a Day, but I wasn't doing rotating Fish that would Die within mere Days/Weeks, that's ridiculous, so I cut my losses.  All the others are Fine so I suspect it wasn't me or the Tank... or we'd have more mortality.  I have a healthy population of Juveniles to replace the Old Fish when their Lifespan is over.

Now we've covered my Fish, I'm almost out of Boring Topics.  Aren't you so glad you came for a visit?!  *Bwahahaha!*  I have that Rare Sibella Court Book coming from Canada and I kid you not, it took a shorter time to clear Customs and get to Phoenix, than it has for it to get from Phoenix to my freakin' House!  I've followed the Tracking of it and where it's now languishing and waylaid in Phoenix since the 11th!  I know the Post Office is in Crisis due to this Administration sabotaging the wonderful institution of it, in order to rig an Election, but I should have received my Package on the 14th by the E-Mail Tracking projections.  So, Phoenix has been sitting on it since they Scanned it IN on the 11th and it didn't come Today, which is the 19th already!  Canada had it all the way to Phoenix in less than THREE DAYS people!  Canada doesn't have an Idiot Leader tho' cocking things up.

And here's my other Suspicion about Mail Delivery... how come Jeff Bezos the Trillionaire isn't having his Amazon Deliveries cocked up?!  You can order something from Amazon late this Afternoon and have it on your Doorstep by USPS by Tomorrow Morning STAT!   Guess you just don't fuck with a Trillionaire's client base or Stream of obscene Income for Fear of those repercussions, I dunno?   When I ordered Princess T's Birthday Skateboard, we ordered it late in the Evening on one Day and by Sunup the next Morning it was sitting on our Doorstep, I kid you not, it was almost Magical how fast it freakin' appeared!  Too bad my Book was just an E-Bay purchase, but Canada tried at least, can't blame Canada or the Canadian Seller for the American failure to Deliver!

I do not blame our Mail Handlers, they are exemplary and if not fucked with and used as Political Pawns by this Administration putting a Crony of his in Charge of the U.S. Postal System, to try to destroy it, rig an Election and try to then find an excuse to Privatize it for Profit, we'd still have good Mail Service!   If something has worked for Hundreds of Years so well, it don't need 'Fixing' or messing with, unless you have an underhanded insidious Agenda to sabotage a Good Thing and replace it with your Inferior Thing for your own Gain and to Profit from personally.  Evidence shows that since Pandemic, the Billionaire Boy's Club has been raking in the Cash at the expense and suffering of the American People... so wake up America, you're being Pimped and exploited like a Street Prostitute.

As I'm Photographing random shit in our Home for Blog Fodder I'm noticing my deferred Maintenance all the more.   That Master Bathroom Mirror is deplorable, where is that damned Windex now so I can erase my Shame?!    And where IS that other Coin Earring too, now that I only see the One hanging there and this pix brought it to my Attention?!??!!  *LOL*  In this unpacking Process, there is just no telling where some things ended up during The Big Move, the lengthy Storage at the U-Haul Units, more lengthy Storage in the RV Garage... and final Unpacking 8 Months later while I'm in a Funk and not really all that 'into' it.  Most of this stuff hasn't seen the Light of Day for about 2 Years now, Seriously!

So then why are the decisions so hard to make in the Letting Go of so much of it when it's been out of Sight and thus out of Mind for so damned long already!?  It is rather like those Attachments formed with Old Friends who go off the grid and then reappear, perhaps Years later, and you never really totally Detached and go right back to having equal Attachment to the Relationship.  So, you don't end it even if you don't need it anymore and have all Moved On to where you could weather a separation indefinitely if you decided it would be Best to or you don't have Time anymore to Cultivate it.  That's how I feel about so much of my possessions that I'm trying to Purge and Downsize appropriately, it's a lot of often difficult decisions you simply must make, since it's Time to.... Past Time to actually.


Tick-Tock... Time's a Wastin'... and I barely Care enough to Seize the Moment right now, I'd rather just Gel... Dawn... The Bohemian

Chaos, Procrastination And First World Problems

 I seriously need to get around to some Organizing and Housekeeping in the Main House, I've got piles of crap and unpacked Boxes almost everywhere right now, where none of it should be, waiting to be dealt with!  I don't mind that the RV Garage and Art Studio Space in the Double Car Garage/Office Conversion are in Chaos, we don't LIVE in those Spaces.  But the House, that's where I need Order and things to be neat, in their appropriate placement and functional... and they're not in a lot of the Spaces right now!  With a smaller Home you really do have to maintain a semblance of Order because you can't spread shit out to where it's not as visible and in your Face when it's messy!  *Le Sigh* 

Part of it is Pandemic, we've got lots of Projects going on to keep us busy, we're in Lock Down, so are all here too much of the time and that means it got messy.  I started unpacking some Boxes inside where it's Climate Controlled and have that shit strewn and being sorted out to go where ever.  I have Craft Supplies in various stages of being Inventoried and put away. I'm also quasi semi-decorating for the Holidays in a much smaller Space than we previous had.  Princess T is in a Puzzle Making and Paint-By-Number Artistic Frenzy, with some of each spread out around the House.  She's also Pandemic Home Schooling half the Day, so that School crap and her Snack Stashes is everywhere, since now this is also doubling as Classroom and Cafeteria.

  I don't know how many Puzzles and Paint-By-Numbers she has going on at once, but she's clearly trying to learn to Multi-Task and do too many things at once?!  I can't see my Dining Table for half-completed Projects in Process!  *Le Sigh*  The Man isn't responsible for any of it, so I'll give him a Pass, it's not his Mess/Chaos and he mostly ignores it and is oblivious to it anyway.  I'm not, it bothers me and stresses me out.  Clearly it's not bothering me ENOUGH tho', since I'd rather sit here and Blog, do Errands and Death Runs, and avoid it altogether.  I tackle some piles and tidy up, but they seem to Breed or something, because next thing I know a different area is now messy!  Good Lord, it never ends!  A smaller Home was supposed to be less Maintenance, not more!

I'm finding random shit packed in these Boxes I'm starting to finally unpack and so none of it makes much sense.  We had begun packing in an Orderly fashion, with Boxes labeled with Contents and Placement Rooms... that fell apart somewhere along the way as more got packed, clearly!  Sure, they've been Boxed and Stored, forgotten, out of Sight and thus out of Mind, since we moved in at the beginning of February, so perhaps I should have just left well enough alone for now?  But I just couldn't, could I?  Oh Hell No, I HAD to decide I must get to them during Pandemic, had all this Time on my Hands in Lock Down, thinks I!

I can get everything squared away and Done, thinks I... clearly I gets delusional sometimes when left with too much thinking time and so little Supervision and no Accountability Partner!  Things get dragged out and then they tend to languish, half done, as I overwhelm myself with what I've now begun and became more than I bargained for!   I mean, there were Rosaries packed with Art Supplies... Muffin Tins packed with Old Photographs... WHY?!  Then there were Art Supplies I was trying to locate in the Boxes still packed... and couldn't.  So, Solution... I just bought some of what I was on a Mission to have available for a pending Seasonal Project!  Yeah, things became a slippery slope I started careening down at warp speed Wheels Off the damned Rails!

Then the E-Mails came from our Pre-Paid Seasonal Maintenance Companies, reminding us Seasonal Maintenance is due.   So I Scheduled all that shit, since clearly there wasn't enough to squeeze in now that the House is a Wreck!  I just Hope the Technicians they send are capable of moving thru a Gauntlet of crap to get to whatever they need to?   I'll make a Path to the Water Softener in the Art Studio Double Car Garage before Monday Morning for that Tech. Thankfully at least the Roof is clear of my crap, so the Tech coming in October can get to the Air Conditioners without incident and taking his Life in his Hands running the Gauntlet!  *Bwahahaha!*  Perhaps by October I'll get a grip... you never know, it's a Crap Shoot really!

Don't lay Odds on it tho' coz I still got Dead Heads on the Dining Room Floor waiting to be hung.  The Antique Frames that will go around them are here in this Guest Bedroom, propped against the Wall they will eventually be hung on.  The newly Painted Wall that is ready to receive them... Four pieces of Hardware being all that separates the Project from it's completion!  Only, I can't find the damned Hardware I bought to hang it all, so the Search is on to Locate that shit... good Luck with that, it's like finding Needles in Haystacks at this juncture!   Mebbe it would just be quicker and easier to buy more Hardware, it would be less than Five Bucks well spent!   See those River Stones in the Background... Mehndi Rock Painting Project in Suspended Animation!

Doesn't everyone have an Antelope and a String of Pearls laying on their Dining Room Floor for 8 Months already, ever since Pandemic struck, said NOBODY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I do, have an Antelope and a String of Pearls, just laying there, AS IF it's Normal!  Granted, not where there's any Foot Traffic, and so we can Ignore it, as we have for damned near a Year now.  Even tho' it's a mere Picture Hangar and a Drywall Screw away from just getting hung up for Heaven's Sake, so it's complete Lunacy!  But then, so is Pandemic, complete Lunacy, nothing is Normal anymore, so why even Sweat a Dead Head and Pearls laying about and not Threatening anyone?!

We also get Irrigation Tomorrow Morning, as if I don't have too much going on already!  So T.J. insisted on doing the Yard Work again Tonight, cut Grass doesn't restrict the Water flow as much.  Tho' I'd rather not have to pay to get it done Weekly, it's getting too expensive to while I'm not Working.  So, he and I will have to enter into more Negotiations for the Irrigation/Yard Work and what it will Cost Monthly.  He does a great Job for a decent price, but it's just getting too much of a strain on a tightening Budget to do it Weekly.  Having so much Grass was my one Major concern when we bought this place, a Desert and having Grass aren't compatible for Low Maintenance.

The Man really likes Grass tho' and the Farm Look, so he was really Delighted to have it. Not Delighted to consider what goes into Maintaining it, since TBI Opts him Out of Maintaining anything, but he likes HAVING it!  I had my reservations about it, tho' I Loved everything else about Forever Boheme'.   I knew from the Jump, this looks like a lot of Maintenance he can't do and I don't wanna do.  Most of the Homes I'd considered had Desert Landscape, but we did need to compromise on what I wanted and what he wanted.  This had so many other Positives that I relented about the ample Meadow of Grass and now I'm paying the Price, literally!  Even tho' I have a great Neighbor willing to be Hired to do it for us. I also never knew Irrigation was such a Pain in the Ass... it is, I'm already not a Fan.  *LOL*

You sometimes have a Romantic Vision and Version of what something will be like until you're actually Living it, then Reality sets in like a Ton of Bricks.  We did need Space due to all my crap, unloading it all to Downsize enough to buy something really Small, with no Storage and no Maintenance, just wasn't an Option for us for this final Move.  I came with a lot of Baggage so to speak in the way of my possessions and honestly I wasn't willing or able to rid myself of the majority of it... I didn't even want to.  And really it's the damned Grass that is the bane of my existence right now, budgeting to Care for it.  When it grows so fast and needs to be cut every Week so Irrigation flow will not be impeded!

It's like having High Maintenance Hair and Salon expenses, so precisely why I have Low Maintenance Dreadlocks and not all of that shit and expense to Deal with constantly!  I'm not that much of a Fan of Grass to really feel it's worth the outlay we have Monthly for Maintaining it.  I'd just as soon let it all die off and rip it all out, but then we'd have 3/4 of an Acre of Dirt and that wouldn't be good either.  Weeds and Dust is why... I see some of these Mini Farms without Grass or Desert Landscaping put in and they're messier and a lot more Work... and Ugly.   I am a Fan of having a nice Landscape, whatever it is you have in it.   This is part of why I'd be inclined to want to build more Structures like a Greenhouse over Grassy areas we now have and obliterate them.

Actually any Structure or Garden Element that would replace all this Grass we have to water and mow would suit me just fine and likely be less expensive to keep going?  I dunno, mebbe not, mebbe it's all an Illusion, to whom much is given, much is required... and all that!  *LOL*   So, I had my little Rant at The Man for all that fucking Grass he Loves so much and desperately wanted and now has, but cannot Maintain for us like he Imagined he would and could.  He Imagines a lot of things he still could do, might do, will get around to doing, yada, yada, yada... never happens and never will.  *Eye Roll*

He Promises every time T.J. rides the John Deere, to be Taught AGAIN how to do it... but his Memory Care Issues being such that they are, it would be a perpetual task to re-train him each time.  T.J. and The Son tried and took me aside to say it's just better off to do it for me and let him do little tasks he can still manage and I know that's how it's just got to be.  He forgets too much or thinks he actually did something he didn't do... or did Weeks ago and thought it was just recently... so mostly I do everything I don't Hire someone to do now.  If I don't do it or can't afford to Hire someone, it won't get done.  So, I'm in Bitchfest Mode right about now with shit stacking up to DO, that isn't getting Done and isn't doing itself!

Why don't I Ride that John Deere, becoz it intimidates me, I'd rather walk behind an Electric or Gas Powered Old School Lawnmower that I know I can manage!  With the size of this Property, by the time I finished it would be time to start all over again tho' doing it like that and it was 113 Degrees still Today!  Hotter all Spring and Summer... I'd probably Stroke Out!  But I've been Tempted to buy a damned little Lawnmower and supplement what I can't afford to Hire someone else to do, to trim the Budget 'til I can Work again?!  If I can Work again... who the Hell knows anymore what can or can't be done at some Futuristic point in time now?  So I'm juggling Chainsaws, not literally, but figuratively.

What does the Future hold for any of us, I can't get a Read on it... Sorry.  I just know Climate Change has made things way Hotter here in the Desert than ever before, so Utilities are Skyrocketing into the Stratosphere for more Months out of each Year now.  We still have triple digit temps and it's almost October, like I said, it was 113 Today, which is ridiculous even for Phoenix at the end of September!   Used to be, in the Desert, Autumn came and you could turn everything off 'til Winter... didn't need Cooling or Heating for most of Autumn, so those were your respite Months on the Ole' Budget strains.  I've had to keep the Air Conditioner going constantly... still!

And along with his Forgetting, The Man forgets to close Doors when he goes into the House or out of the House!  So I'm always closing Doors left open, whenever I even realize he left one hanging open!  You can chastise him about it constantly to no avail, he seems to be incapable to remember to do it behind him.  So, I've mostly been Cooling the entire Outside too some of the time I guess, which wasn't Helpful at streamlining the Utility Budget either!   I also have a Teen and The Man who stand in front of the Fridge with the Door Open as if in a Trance.  Or, they walk away from it with the Door open until it Chimes at them to remember to close it, while they're distracted fussing with something on the Counter Tops!

Just close it and open it again, Guys... it's not so difficult to remember to do... tho', apparently it is for anyone but me???!?!?  And The Cat, while I'm Ranting about the Beloved who drive me Nuts, and my First World Problems... Miss Priss is getting so Old now she asks to go in and out constantly.  You put her out and immediately she decides that tho' she asked you for Out, she wants In again almost right away, or vice versa.  She'll sit at a Window howling her Head off and making moist dirty Nose Prints all over the Glass, until you comply with her request to come back inside.  Then she almost immediately pukes somewhere, because in her Old Age she's also prone to Cat Bulimia it seems!?

She doesn't know when to stop eating and will eat too much, as if she's never going to eat again.  Even if you leave some Kibbles down all of the time so she knows it's available to her and it's not as if she can't graze eat.   We also tried small portions put down more infrequently, it only made her eat faster and ergo puke it up faster.  At least she quit the Pillow Pissing incidents for a while, we Treated her for Kidney or UTI problems... I think a lot of her behaviors are Age related, she's an Older Cat and seems to be getting Cat Dementia or something.  Mebbe just living here around this Insanity makes her Nervous and Anxious, I dunno?    If I was a Cat I'd Adopt me some New People for my Staff, just sayin'.  *LOL*

I think I need Staff... most definitely I need Staff!  *Winks*  Otherwise it is quite unlikely the Chaos and Procrastination situation is gonna improve dramatically.  Sure, complaints about First World Problems seems like I have no Perspective. But, in the Motivation and Ambition departments I'm Bankrupt right now and I can't think of what would deposit enough in me to get me into Gear and back in the Game?  I bought some Alcohol infused Otter Pops, only they're not called Otter Pops, they're called Spiked Ice and just look like Otter Pops.  So I had to remind Princess T that they weren't Kid Popsicle Sticks, they were Alcoholic Adult ones!  *LOL*  I don't drink, but I just thought perhaps those might be weak enough to just take enough of the Edge off of Pandemic woes to loosen me up enough to wanna do what needs to get done without spiraling into a Drunken Stupor?  We'll see... the Backup Plan is these Frozen Cocktails...


Thanks for enduring the Vent... you Guys are sure Cheaper than Therapy... and I'm not inclined to wanna Explore what that 2-1-1 Arizona is all about for Pandemic Burnout???... Dawn... The Bohemian

A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl