There's A Dead Fly In Our Salad... And Then... Hackers!!!

 There will be some Walks down Memory Lane with this Post, with some Blast From The Past Images I dredged up out of the Photo Archives of Friends and Family.  I'm Feeling Nostalgic, what can I say?  Time warps by so damned fast.  The Man's Cardiac Appointment went well, Dr. Pham is pleased with his progress and wants to get him off some of the Meds, he feels he's on too many and I'm in Agreement.  If we can reduce what we can then that would be good.  They only discontinued one this time, since, it could be causing his Swelling/Water Retention.   They're also setting him up for some Cardiac Physical Therapy which will strengthen him and his Heart, gently, and is done at the Hospital he had the Procedure at.  It's different that the Home PT which Dr. Pham explained is to make sure his Limbs don't atrophy and takes Care of his Legs and Feet, his Mobility, and his Breathing.  

So those will be different Exercises he can do at Home, opposed to the Heart Cardio which is done in the Hospital under Medical Supervision there.  It's daunting to him, and a lot, but, will improve his Heart Health as it Heals from a near Fatal Heart Attack Episode.  Dr. Pham told him again, Buddy, we're both Lucky your Wife caught this in time, and have her to Thank, becoz you wouldn't have lasted even Half an Hour more otherwise!!!   And I'm Thankful I listened to her or I wouldn't have had Time to Save you either!!!  That's how close to Dying he actually was, a matter of mere Minutes from when they performed his Procedure!!! 

 I think it's hitting Home for The Man that I literally Saved his Life by prompting the Cardiologist and Staff to give it more Urgency and have them Trust my Judgment and Intuition, rather than me Trusting theirs about how Bad Off he was or wasn't.  I could tell that impressed Dr. Pham becoz he Thanked me again for insisting we didn't have Time to delay.  Usually a Doctor won't just heed some Patient near hysteria about saying there's No Time, but he did.  Coz he could see how Serious I was and risked mockery by shamelessly saying I'd had a Premonition and didn't have a Peace about waiting, or, he'd surely Die, and I knew it.

I think if our Surgeon hadn't been of a Culture that Believes in such things, perhaps it would have been a different outcome, but he didn't mock me, he Believed me and Trusted my Instincts.  It's hard to explain Premonitions to people, especially skeptics, so a lot of folks wouldn't take you Seriously.  I've had people mock it before or not Believe or Trust me when I have a Bad Premonition and tell them as a Warning, if it can be avoided, and Trust me, it's always Bad, you don't have Good ones.  And sure nuff, it's always come to pass and then even if they might still be not totally convinced, it usually then makes them uncomfortable and fearful coz they don't understand and think it's some kind of Witchcraft or Sorcery, which, it's not.  Now, Donnie Two Dolls, he could be a Devil's Disciple from The Dark Side, mocking Christ and Offending the Faithful by the AI Imagery he's Posting of himself.  The New Troll Memes mocking his "I thought I was a Doctor in that Image" are fucking hilarious tho'!

But, I digress.  A Premonition is just a strong intuitive Feeling or Forewarning that a Future Event ~ usually and often negative or unpleasant ~ is about to occur, usually without any Conscious Evidence or Logical Reasoning.  It's just a Form of "Future Sight" and can come to those who get them in the appearance of a Dream, a Gut Feeling, a Vision, or a sudden inexplicable Sense of Dread.   I've had mine come in any of those ways, but most often in Visions they come to me or the Sense of Dread which leaves a Metallic Taste in my Mouth as if I sucked on something Metal like a Bullet.  I take them as a Warning in Advance and I always take mine Seriously and I always took those my Mom and her Older Brother had Seriously coz they had them more often than I do with more Details that could be very specific.  Mine can be specific, but not always.

Sometimes I just know something very Bad is gonna happen at an exact place and within a short period of Time, but I don't know exactly what Form the Bad thing is specifically.   And then I don't want to be in that place and have a sense of Urgency to leave it immediately, so I won't be involved in whatever Bad thing IS gonna happen.   I once avoided a Triple Homicide by mere Minutes while doing the 2000 Census coz I told my Census Co-Worker Interpreter, Delfina, we have to count these People quick coz something very Bad is gonna happen here very soon and we need to be gone when it does.  It was a Sunny Calm Day and the Property was having a Child's Birthday Party.  I Urgently told her, we don't have much Time, get out of here FAST!  And we did.

 But, within Minutes the Estranged Husband showed up, shot and killed his Estranged Wife, her new Boyfriend, and then committed Suicide!  I didn't know these People or their Dynamic/Relationship.  We hadn't even walked back to our Vehicle yet, just a little ways down the Short Street, when we heard the Gunshots behind us!   Delfina was Superstitious and asked HOW I knew that was gonna happen?  I told her I didn't know exact specifics of what would happen, just that it would be very Bad and we needed not to be there and get out quickly so we wouldn't be involved.  Otherwise, no telling what he'd of done to potential Witnesses before he turned the Gun on himself?  And, I wouldn't have even wanted to Survive and have seen him Murder Two People at close range and then blow his own Brains out either!

My Premonitions be like that.  And like when I had the One of The Man I just knew it was something about Hearts, jumbled, coz my Vision didn't exactly show a Human Heart, just Hearts... a Valentine's Heart, a Sacred Heart, Jesus Touching His Heart.  Just something to do with the Heart... and then connecting it to The Man... and then of coarse his Medical Emergency in Progress and knowing, oh shit, it's a Forewarning, he's gonna Die if we don't intercede very quickly coz the sense of Dread and Urgency was Strong and I had that Metallic Taste in my Mouth which only comes when imminent Danger is very close by.  It is a Fight or Flight involuntary Stress Response.

Anyway, so Tomorrow is another packed Day, we have the new Physical Therapist coming at 8:00-8:30 a.m., whose Name is Wendell, then at 10:00 a.m. he has Labs at the Hospital, then I have to Work that Evening by 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m..  We had a little Panic when The Man thought he'd Lost the important Paperwork that told me where the Labs are and what the Kidney Doc's Name and Address are!  OMG, I was so relieved when we finally found it and now I've taken it away from him, I don't even know why he had it, I knew I'd put it by the Front Door Calendar so I'd have easy access to Addresses and Names of all these Specialists and Points of Contact Info.  Until we see the Kidney Doc, now kicked back to July, I won't have a Business Card of his.  Just the Hospital Printout of Follow-Up Care.

The Man is notorious for taking things and either hiding them or misplacing them which is why I don't want him handling anything anymore.  I want him leaving it up to me to Organize Paperwork, check the Mail, answer Phone Calls.  Coz with his Memory Care Issues and Dementia he hangs up on People, or talks to them and instantly forgets who even Called or what they said, or hides or misplaces Mail and Paperwork.  But he jumps on that fucking Phone when it rings, no matter if it's the Landline or one of our Phones before we can get to it!  Or sees the Mailman and rushes out there to grab Mail we've told him not to.  Or picks up a Package Delivery on the Doorstep and brings it inside but forgets where he puts it or who it was for!!!   Oy Vey!!!  Whaddya gonna do?!

He didn't remember Dr. Pham and kept asking if we knew this Doctor.  I kept telling him, Yes, he's the one that did your Heart Attack Surgery Honey.  I think he'd have to see someone often to recall them at all now, and then, it's a crap shoot whether or not he'll remember who they are.  He sees some of our Friends sometimes and doesn't know who they are anymore.  Or even any of the Grandkids and Great-Grandkids who don't Live with us and aren't in Arizona.  He never remembers any of them and seems Surprised they're ours.  *LOL*   The G-Kid Force are getting Worried about when he might Forget who they are too?  It can and probably will eventually happen as his Memories fade backwards in Time and get erased as the Disease progresses.  Once he loses 1989 he won't remember me either.

  We think right now he's somewhere in the 2000's still, but definitely not before 2005 coz he still knows who Princess T is and she was Born in 2005... The Young Prince in 2000.  Our Two Kids in the 1980's, but he met us when The Daughter was 7 and The Son was 3, so 1989 would be as far back as he could go with remembering them either.  I figure he could get me mixed up with his 1st Wife one day if I insist I am the Wife and he doesn't remember he was Married to someone else before, in the early 1970's.   By the time my Mom's Dementia caused her Death, she'd gotten stuck somewhere between 1957 and 1960, coz she still remembered she had a Daughter, I was Born 1957, but forgot she had a Son, my Brother was Born in 1960.  

And she still thought she was Married to our Dad and that he wasn't Dead.  It upset her every time to tell her, so we quit telling her and just said he couldn't be there... which, wasn't a Lie.  And it upset my Brother for her to think he was HER Brother instead, they have the same first Name, so that confused her and she thought my Brother was my Welsh Uncle.  I told him to just play along or he'd only serve to agitate her and she once punched him in the Face when he got her upset... they can get very Physical, even if they never were before.   And she lost her ability to speak English and could only remember her 1st Language, Welsh, near the End.  And our Welsh is quite limited coz she never wanted us to have an Accent and to speak English only.  It was hard.  Dad's Body gave out first, not his Mind at all, and that was easier actually to Cope with.

My Brother's Body is giving out first and he said he's really glad it's not his Mind giving out first, and I am too.  He did finally get his Morphine Pump replaced, waited 9 Months for it tho', his Insurance kept dicking around coz he's on a form of Medicaid now for the Terminally Ill.  He did Fine during this replacement Pump Surgery, he's very high risk for any Surgery, even Elective ones, so, it's always super risky.  So, I was relieved when he notified me it was over and he'd done just Fine, it was installed and he hopes this one last long enuf he won't have to get another replacement.  He keeps outliving projected Expiration Dates, and that's been the Issue.  *LOL*  We can be a Militant bunch about not Receiving Grim Prognosis.  *Winks*  They give us a Sell By or Expiration Date and we just say, "NOT Receiving that... we're not Dead 'til God says so."  *Ha ha ha*

 He said this Surgery did kick his Butt, so his Recovery is slower this time and he's gotta take it real easy and get used to the full dosage of Morphine again, coz he'd done without it functioning properly for almost a full Year to manage his Pain.  He's been Offline a lot but did call to Wish me a Happy Easter.   He remains Up By Faith and Trusting it WILL Hold.  So far it has, his Docs don't even know why he's still Alive actually and say so all the time.  *Smiles*  Even the Local Paramedics ask him now, how many times have you had the Plug Pulled on your Life Support now and Come Back?   The Count is at Eleven so far!!! 

  Poor Marcie, his long time Partner, says every time she makes that difficult decision on his behalf she feels like shit afterwards and then he Comes Back and she has to tell him, well, I hadda tell them to Unplug ya again!!!  *Ha ha ha*  They have Dark Gallow's inappropriate Humor about it all too, but it has been truly awful for her!   And he now has a huge Chest Tattoo of The Grim Reaper with a DNR under it.  For the Benefit of any Medical Team responding to a Call.  If he Codes now, he doesn't wanna be Brought Back anymore.  *LOL*  He knows that for whatever reasons, his Body or Spirit has Come Back on it's own and even his Docs can't say why or how that's happened so often, it's a Mystery?  I Nicknamed him Lazarus.  I know one day it will happen to us all tho', Death is a certainty eventually.

Sometimes Princess T takes me back to when I was 20 since she's such a chip off the ole' Block that it's eerie how Alike we are in our ways and our Thoughts.  We were on our way to her Work and she happened to say Gay Timmy has another Job and just posted a Pix of himself in his little Vest and he looked so Cute in it.  I said, well, he is a Cutie, but what happened to him aspiring to be a Housewife and finding himself a Daddy Warbucks?  She said the Boyfriend isn't very ambitious and that she herself doesn't Need a Man for his his Money, she has her own Money, is good and disciplined with Money, so she wants and Needs a Housewife like Timmy.  She'll Earn the Money and just wanna come Home to a Clean House and a Nice Meal after Work!!!  OMG I was JUST like that at her Age, I could have said just that too!

When you're Raised in a Matriarchal Society or Family, like I was, and she was, the Earning Potential and Independence and Strength of the Women makes it so they don't NEED a Man for Security or their Money.  So, it's not a Priority.  If you find one with a good Earning Potential, well, that's just Gravy, but you will always exert your own Independence apart from him and not be dependent upon him.  When I met The Man, I Earned more than he did, and did for most of our Marriage until the Banking Industry went completely Sideways.  Otherwise I would have had an equal, if not better, Retirement and Investment Portfolio too.  But, he Earned good Pensions and also Earned a Disability Income from all his Military Sacrifices made making him a 100% Disabled Veteran.

But, The Man was not intimidated or threatened by my Success and Independence, he'd never actually met a Woman with my Outlook and Strength that could match a Man and Square Off with one without hesitation.  He knew I could be a Ball Breaker if I Needed to be, just don't make me Need to be. *Winks*  I think that was intriguing to him enuf he thought it was a Positive and not a Negative, coz he Lives Dangerously like that.  *LOL and Winks*   And, he was the better Cook and much more Orderly and Disciplined about Housekeeping than me.  His Military Discipline showed up in how he keeps everything around him in Order, Tight and Immaculate.  

And his Hunting Skills and Culinary Jedi Abilities were intriguing to me, he could catch it, bring it Home AND prepare a nice Meal with it, then Clean Up after himself AND Earn good Money and be a Handsome Stud Muffin too... Splendid... I'll take THAT one!  *Winks*   He was the whole Package and apparently that's what Princess T is looking for too, her Priorities are so similar to mine when I was 20 that I had no hurries or worries to find a Man, didn't even Care if I found one actually.  I was doing just Fine on my own and being Single, even being a Single Parent, which wasn't easy, but preferable to me than being in a Bad Relationship like my 1st Marriage.  

But, in spite of being a total Psycho, as it turned out, the Ex had been a good Earner, a hard Worker, Tidy and Orderly about his ways, cooked exceptionally well, he was Handsome and a Stud Muffin too, just very Mentally Ill and self medicated a LOT to try to Manage it.  And with my Mental Health battling my Ex's worse Mental Health, it became too volatile and dangerous, so I couldn't Salvage that.  Plus, I don't like being around Alcoholics or Drug Addicts who can't manage Sobriety, becoz it causes a shit ton of collateral damage when they're Using.  I don't Drink and I don't do Drugs, so that was never the Circles I ran in and some functional Alcoholics are difficult to spot and some Addicts are Secretive about Using.  And Serious Mental Illness isn't always so apparent either.  So, you can be Fooled.

When I met The Man he was Open about being LDS and not a Member in Good Standing so I didn't have to worry about him being Churchy *LOL*, but he didn't Drink, didn't do anything Illegal, and was a Morally Traditional and Upstanding Guy.  One with an Old Fashioned way about him that was so much like my Dad's Generation, and endearing, that it Appealed to me a lot.  Guys of my Generation weren't like him at all anymore and I thought he was so Sweet and so Chivalrous in an Old School way that I knew my Family would Approve of him and I wouldn't mind him meeting my Kids and being around them.  He was like the Old Timey 1950's Dads of TV Sitcoms, like "Leave It To Beaver's" Dad, who, I always liked that Kind Fatherly Character and how he interacted with the Kids.   I wasn't known for choosing the best Relationships to be in, my Track Record was abysmal in fact.  So, The Man was something different, which, turned out to be a Good Thing.  *LOL* 

 My own Dad was Tough and Stoic, yet the Kindest and Best Dad ever, who'd do anything and everything for Family... that was the Role Model I grew up with.   And tho' my Mom and The Man never got along, she had keen Senses about People and said that tho' she didn't Like him, he was good Father, Husband, Son-In-Law Material and a Keeper!  *LOL*  The Man always thought my Mom to be an Old Gypsy Witch and she kind of made him uneasy, lest she put some Hexes and shit on him if he pissed her off, but he was always very Good to her.  And my Dad and The Man always got along from Day One, my Dad called him Son and meant that, The Man was closer to my Dad than he'd ever been to his own Dad.  Now, that said, my Parents Liked my 1st Husband coz he was a Charismatic Psychopath, and I'm not Kidding, everyone Liked him... even if they didn't Want to!!!  Psychos be like that sometimes, very Endearing, just also very Psycho and dangerous!  You might think you'd never Like a Psycho, but, you might be Surprised you would and might!?

 Anyway, The Indigenous ways of my Dad didn't bother The Man, he has an Adopted Female Cousin, Vida, who is Navajo.  It was harder for him to embrace my Mom's Cultural ways tho'.  He Liked my Welsh Uncle a lot and my Uncle Liked him and said he was a Good Man, they got along so well.  But The Man said the Welsh like Mom's Family, were an Unusual People and perhaps it was the Romani ways most misunderstood by him actually, tho' Mom's Family are Mixed, so are called the Didi Kai, and are not fully embraced by either the Welsh or the full blood Gypsies.  The Predictions and uncanny Ability to Read People so accurately and get into your Head and seem to know your Thoughts, did, and still does, Unsettle The Man.

  His own People do think it's Sorcery, a lot of Uber Religious Brands do... so I'm used to that accusation, and so did my Dad's People actually, Indians can be very Superstitious.  I think some of my Paternal Relatives likened my Mom to being a Skinwalker and they won't even speak the Name for Fear of them.   So they were always Scared of my Mom too, lest she put Curses on them, and she didn't like any of my Dad's Family very much, she had her reasons, I kept my distance too for the same reasons and still am cautious.  She had been known to do a Curse or Two when necessary.  *Bwahaha*  I have reconciled with some Paternal Relatives, but were always closer to Mom's People, they accepted me more.  In many Tribes they don't accept Mixed Race Children well and in the Old Days many used to Kill them.  Historical tragic Fact of the Not So Distant Past actually.

Looking more European than Indian, and often being able to Pass for being White, I wasn't embraced by my Dad's Family at all and I knew it from a very early Age.  Whereas my Mom's Family Adored me, and Kids kinda LIKE that.  *Winks*  My Welsh Nanna and my Welsh Uncle, Mom's Big Brother, well, I was their Favorite.  Yes, you shouldn't have Favorites but all my Cousins and my Brother would unanimously Agree, I was the Favorite and the Golden Child to our Nanna and to my Welsh Uncle Syd.  *Winks*   I could do no Wrong in their Eyes and I was super close to both of them their entire Lives and I miss them a lot coz of that Special Relationship and Bond Shared.  

My Brother was embraced by my Dad's Family, I don't even know why coz he has way Fairer Skin Tone than me if he doesn't get a Tan.  He can get some Color, but I'm my Color all the time and just get much Darker and quicker with any Sun Exposure at all.  *LOL*  But he did have the Blue Black Hair and our Dad's Eyes.  He liked going back to the Rez too, with Dad, for Visits and I Hated it as much as my Mom Hated the abject poverty condition of Reservation Living.  So, I often opted out and Dad understood why, I just didn't Like how the Indigenous had been treated and I did understand their Hostility towards White People.   And I represented too much of what that 'looked' like and was self-aware of that mark of Privilege afforded me by Appearance.   Most folks assume I'm White and I get asked often how I keep a good "Tan" all the time.  I just answer with, well, my Dad is Native American.  And then what you consider me as Being, Ethnically, is totally up to you, I don't Care.  *LOL and Winks*

But, I am more the complexion of my Son, and you can see how different that looks next to our Mom, his Nanna, who was Peaches and Cream Complexion.  She could Tan pretty good tho', my Mom, without Burning, oddly enuf she could just get Coppery Dark during Summer if Sunbathing, coz her Dad was Swarthy and the one with part Romani Heritage and they tend to be Darker folks.   And my Dad was much Darker than all of us.  Dad was as Dark as some of his Black Friends who were Medium Black.  My Dad's Oldest Brother, pictured Above, when he was in the Military, his Not-PC Nickname was Blackie!  I kid you not!  Dad and most of his Relatives, didn't like being Photographed tho', Superstitious about it.  So not many Pixs of him exist, or of my Gramma, Aunts and Uncles.  This is me next to my Paternal Relatives, my Paternal Grandmother and my Dad's Oldest Brother, my Uncle Dwight aka: Blackie. *LOL*   Dad and my Uncle were the same complexion, so I do look quite White next to them, but quite Dark next to my Maternal side of the Family.

The new PT, Wendell, just left.  He's a Young Filipino Man, very Nice, The Man liked him so did all the Exercises required, which, he'll be doing Twice Daily now to strengthen his Legs mostly and build some Cardio.  We only have Three Visits Approved for Wendell by HUMANA, so Wendell said we might wanna talk to our VA Doc, Dr. Klein, and get him to Approve more, coz the VA usually Approves more without as much hassle.  And that way we avoid Dealing with TriCare For Life or HUMANA for the PT and the VA will just provide it.  I think that's a good Plan coz the VA has Approved extended Home Care Visits already with no pushback.  That's who sends Nurse Remi Weekly and extended her Visits becoz they've been so beneficial to him.  Having a PT is like having a Personal Trainer who can help with Exercises that Strengthen, yet Monitors condition and modifies accordingly.  I'm not Skilled to do that Monitoring and adjusting/modifying a Regimen.  

LATER:  Luckily Dr. Ting's Office, the Kidney Doctor, has a Lab Tech right in his Office so no waiting like at the Major Labs, which are always too overbooked and have numerous Walk-Ins without Appointments too.  So, we were in and out with his Lab Work and I took him out for Brunch at "First Watch" afterwards since he'd done so well with his Physical Therapy Exercises and with the Labs, no complaining or resistance, he was compliant and kinda showing off while doing his Exercises really, which was good to see.  That's the "Old" him that I used to know so well.  He had the Wild Caught Alaskan Salmon Benedict which came with a Side Spring Salad with a Lemon Vinaigrette Dressing and a Fly had flown into the Salad and Died there, so they comped us his whole Meal, which was unexpected, I just wanted a new Side Salad with no Dead Flies as the extra Protein.  *LOL*  And I Photograph our Food first for Blog Fodder and you couldn't see the Dead Fly 'til you were into the Salad {see Below}, so thankfully he never eats Salad coz he chokes on it and found the Fly before I was eating any of it!  *Whew*

Hey it's the Season for Flies in the Desert, them lil buggers get on and into everything, so I knew it wasn't intentional and they felt so bad about it and Thankfully it didn't get eaten!  Ewwww.  I've eaten Insects, but Flies, lots of disease potential with those.  He was putting the Salad into a lil To-Go container for me to take to Work tonight when we saw the drowned Fly, whose demise came in the way of a drowning in Lemon Vinaigrette.  *LOL*  It did put him off eating his 2nd Benedict, he has a Weaker Stomach than Yours Truly.  And a Fly in his Food had upset him more than it had upset me.  I had the Steel Cut Oatmeal with Fruit and it came with a Carrot Muffin of the Day.  And I had my fav Iced Specialty Coffee they have there, which is to Die For.  So, anyway, it meant that The Man got comped his whole Meal and will eat the other half of it for his Lunch Today.   He'll forget all about the Fly by then.  *Winks and Laughs*

The Oatmeal was hearty so I have the Muffin and Salad to bring in to Work.  They exchanged my Salad with a Fresh one and put the Dressing on the side since I'd be eating it much later Today at Work Tonight.  So now I'm having some Down Time before I go in to Work Tonight's Shift.  I don't know what Wednesday Nights are usually like coz I normally don't fill in for any Wednesday Night Co-Workers regularly.  I'm guessing it might be Slow tho', Mid-Week usually is.  I may bring in a little bit of Fresh Merch for the Showroom.  By next Week I plan to take out any Seasonal Merch that didn't Sell for Easter and just Save it 'til next Spring.  There's not that much of it that it will take up a lot of Storage Space in the She Shed and I've cleared out a LOT of Inventory out of there already, so have more Space now.  I'm still doing a She Shed Purge and while the Weather stays Cooler I wanna get busy finishing that Project up.

I'm going thru Crates of Merch we intended to Sell, but now I wanna Curate and Cull it to only be Selling the items I know will Sell better, and just Donate the rest and get it gone expediently.  I'm kinda Over trying to Well what languishes too long in Inventory and takes up expensive Real Estate Space I could Turn more in and Profit from quicker.  The Demographic and what they're Buying just is what it is, doesn't matter if it's Good Stuff if nobody is purchasing it and it sits around taking up valuable Space.  Not here, not there, I'd rather it just be Gone now and be that much further along in my Great Edit and Purge Project of Downsizing and Curating Possessions to what I will eventually consider Just Enough.  I don't have Plans to get rid of everything, but I'm only now Keeping what we Love, Display or Use.

And I got really Freaked Out coz Microsoft notified me someone tried to hack into my Computer so my Anti-Virus Protection notified me of Hackers.  They apparently tried to get in via The Book of Faces site and access some Offsite Betting and Porn Hub!!!  Hackers really are The Devil but Microsoft can Trace IP Addressed and found the Hackers live on Two Streets in our Neighborhood.  That reminded me then of the Two recent big SWAT Raids that happened on those Streets and I'm wondering if that has anything to do with this kind of illegal Hacking Activity those Residents might be involved in heavily?  Usually ours is a quiet very non-eventful Community where nothing much happens, so Two Big Raids in the middle of the day both times really alerted other Residents.  One even sent their drone up to video record the Raid near their house.  And showed The Son and I her footage, coz she's a Cashier at our Grocery Store down the Street.

Anyway, Two Hours later Microsoft had scanned and corrected everything and no Virus was detected so the Hackers were unsuccessful.   They were doing such things at like 2-4 in the Morning when we'd be Asleep, so we had no activity from our location and it was then easy for Microsoft to Trace their activity and where exactly to pinpoint it coming from nearby.  They asked if we owned any of those Properties and we don't, but now I now some shady Ass Fuckers live there on Flower and Mulberry Streets in our Mini Farms Community and will alert my Neighbors so they can be cautious.  Microsoft's Hotline Guy was very good at explaining what they do and that they give you their Employees Employee ID number and direct Contact Secured Phoneline and will never ask for Money or your Personal Information.  He said anyone who does is a Hacker, so Report it.   I'd never send Money or release Personal Information anyway, but some people might fall for such a Scam.  Scammers are so Clever these days and we all can be vulnerable.

Princess T laughed when I told her coz she misunderstood part of what I was telling her about it when I picked her up from Work.  Instead of the Word Offsite "Betting", she thought I said Offsite "Bedding" after talking about someone trying to access Porn Hub with my Identity and failing to!!!   Then she was confused when I followed up with, "And I don't even Gamble!!!"  She said, "Huh?"   She thought Porn Hub and then someone looking at Offsite BEDDING was a hilarious combo, so had no idea then why I'd be talking about Gambling all of a sudden?!   And why I didn't Laugh at her Joke about, well, mebbe they needed it after watching Porn {new Bedding}!  So we both Laughed Out Loud when we realized what she heard wasn't what I'd said, the Two Words do sound very much alike when you say them tho', I ain't gonna Lie.  *Ha ha ha*  I'm glad when the Scan was complete our Firewall apparently Held and notified me in time to have Microsoft do their thing.  I didn't know how long my System might be Down and compromised, but Microsoft Freezes it temporarily when a Hacker has tried to hack in. 

*******

Be Well and Be Safe my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian

I Can Take My War Paint Off For Now... Ooops No I Can't!!!

I'm only a couple Blog Posts ahead now so I'm gonna get busy with it.  *LOL and Winks*  It's been nice to have a few Unpublished ones hanging out there and Posting when Scheduled without me being here behind the Screen.  It's been busy but I do carve out some Me Time Online when I can't carve out Me Time outside of Home, which, is more challenging these days as The Man's Health and Appointments demand more of my Time and limited Resources.   I'm getting buried in Paperwork from all of it, but so far everything has been covered, so that's good, no Battles to wage on that Front at least.   So I can take my War Paint off for now, since I've remedied the T-Mobile Fiasco and Battle waged with that Company. *Whew* 

 They got Paid so they're Happy, I finally got a compromise we both could live with, so I'm Happy.  Everybody's Happy!  Coz when I ain't Happy, ain't Nobody gonna fucking be Happy!   I Share that robbing of Joy Forever and Ever if you're gonna make me Unhappy and compromise or threaten my Joy, you hear me?!  *Winks*  I must say the Two Young Ladies I dealt with last at T-Mobile were exemplary and on top of their Game.  They also were not in Agreement with what the Company is doing forcing folks to use Apps and not generating Paper Billing for Clients who still want that method of paying.  I don't use Apps, I don't wanna use Apps, it eats up Data and then you get charged for more Data Storage, it's intentional extortion the way I see it.  I already pay too much for Phones & Service!

We did find out we get some Free TV Channels via our Phone Plan, who knew?  Becoz I ain't getting a fucking Bill, that's why I didn't know!!!  But, The Young Prince grilled the Gals on what Freebies our Plan is offering us that we don't know about coz we're no longer getting Receipts showing what's on our Plan that we're on.  I don't think anything is actually 'Free', coz the Plans are all expensive.  Even the Military Discount Plan we're on ain't Cheap, but it's Cheaper and has Two Free Lines for the Two Grandkids.  So, I didn't really wanna lose that Plan or Benefit for them, they use those Phones a lot more than The Man and I do.  But there's some Movie Channel they're giving us Free right now so that was good to know, I think it may be NetFlix.  So, I wouldn't have had The Son or the Niece paying for Months had I known that Fact!

The Man loves his Walker I got him from the "Goodwill" Yesterday for Five Bucks, it's a really nice one and Walking Height so he doesn't have to bend over to Walk with it.  So, now we don't have to ask the VA to provide one for him.  The Laws Of Attraction were Activated when I spoke the Words that I Needed one and there it was, the 1st "Goodwill" we went to.  They didn't even have it priced and so the Young Man I asked to price it for me gave me a Hood Hookup on it and Winked when I said, that's all?!  *Winks Back*   Plus I got 20% Off that Price with the Coupon my Vendor Friend John had let me take a Screen Shot of while we bumped into him and his Wife there and stopped to chat.  I like John and his Wife, they HATE their Retirement Community HOA, which are The Devil.  As most HOA's are.

John is White but his Wife is Hispanic and he said his HOA is very Racist and harasses all the Residents of Color, who are few, coz it's an exclusive and expensive Community.  But John Retired from Frito Lay where he's worked for Years and has a great Pension Retirement.  So he wanted a Lakeside Community and didn't mind paying more for it.  But he said his Wife gets harassed all the time and so does an Elderly Black Male Neighbor, they get stopped by the HOA People all the time asking what they're doing in the Community!!!!!!!!!!!  As if they aren't Residents and therefore look Suspicious by Virtue of just their Skin Color!!!  Oh, John has confronted the HOA about it numerous times coz both she, his Wife, and that Neighbor still get stopped and asked what they're "Doing There?", and by now the HOA knows they are Residents of the Community!  John said if it wasn't so expensive and a hassle to move, they would.

John knows the affluent Subdivision Hell we owned the Villa McManse in was Racist like that too, so me and the Grandkids were always given a hard time while living there.  The Man wasn't, coz he's White, and our very Sweet Elderly Black Neighbors next door suffered even worse discrimination than us.  They had Rocks thrown thru Windows with Racist Notes attached and their Front Yard Vandalized.  And so did our Dear Young Friends across the Street, who were a Couple from Sri Lanka, get harassed constantly and have Threats made.  And both of those Families were decent Neighborly folks, owned the most Expensive Three-Story Villa's that were over 7,000 sf in the whole Community!!!  They could afford to live there, had Paid over a Million for their Properties and were Corporate Executives in their Careers.  But, the Community really was a lot of White Fundamentalist Christian Types with Bougee Careers, who were openly Racist and Pretentious as fuck, the HOA were The Devil, so, it's why we Sold and Moved eventually. 

I Battled them Fuckers for over Five Years and as soon as I could Turn that piece of Real Estate and Sell it to an Air B&B Party House Investor *winks... Yes, on Purpose*, I Sold it to them and Cashed out my Profits.  I'd only bought the damned ridiculous sized Luxury Property coz I got such a Steal on the Price when the Luxury Home Market had tanked, and I needed to get my Grandkids Adopted.  The Adoption Board wouldn't approve our Historic Home as "Suitable", coz it had Lead Paint and was over 100 Years Old and "Substandard" by their Standards and Criteria coz we didn't have it completely Restored yet.  CPS had no problem with the Kiddos being placed there since Birth tho' and living there 10 and 15 Years respectively as a Kinship Placement, and not compensating us a dime to Raise them, so, go figure!!!  The Home was Paid for and was supposed to be our Forever Retirement Property Debt Free.

But, I digress, bumping into John, with his now failing Health, he's having to downsize even his Retail Spaces at the Mall and Close out some he had at other Antique Mall Locations coz he's too sickly now.  So I know he doesn't wanna keep Fighting the Good Fight and making Good Trouble in that Retirement Community they're stuck in now.   His Wife being Hispanic, tho' she's a Mexican American, she worries about the whole ICE Raid bullshit every time they're out and about now anywhere, even going to Doctor Appointments for John.  Coz, many Spouses have had their Partners of Color picked up and just Racially Profiled whether they're American Citizens or not and Legally here.  It's a worry now with this Racist Regime legitimizing Racism and ramping it up again.  Even our Native American Friends have been stopped by ICE and some have been detained even showing Tribal ID... and the Indigenous are the only Non-Immigrants in this Country!

Actually, many of my Mexican American Friends go back Generations before America bought these lower States from Mexico.  So none of their Ancestors had to cross a fucking Ocean to get here, they've ALWAYS been here and have a Right to remain here!!!   My Friend Pauline can trace her Ancestry to Arizona back over 10 Generations.  So she gets really angry when anyone tells her to go back where she came from, she says, I came from here Motherfuckers, we've always been here, where have your People originally come from?  Coz it's NOT HERE!  Usually she said it's some Racist Person who just assumes America is White... and Christian... and... it's not and it never has been.  It's American, made up of many different Ethnicities and Demographics now and many Religions, or Freedom From Religion, and it's that Freedom and Opportunity we wanna Protect and Cherish.  It's why everyone always wanted to come here.  You get so tired of telling ignorant biased folks those Facts!!!

I feel badly for anyone feeling trapped in a Situation, Area, or around People they are constantly having problems with thru no fault of their own and about things they can't do anything about.  There's not much you can do about other folk's Biases, Hatreds, and Prejudices, they are who they just are.  I don't wanna Live around them either frankly, becoz it's stressful to have all that Hatred, Bias, Prejudices directed and projected at and against you.   When you're just trying to Live Life in Peace, with Love and in Harmony with all around you.   It can be quite dangerous too becoz Hateful People tend to commit atrocities and violent acts that they feel quite justified to commit.   And History has shown us time and again how Deadly that can become against their Victims and who they're Targeting and want to Eliminate.   It's almost never Harmless and rarely is Safe either.  I don't want my Family Unsafe or to come to Harm over whose around us that poses any Danger.

The Young Prince got up really Early, I know he's Anxious about this Social Security Disability Interview and doesn't know what to expect since previous ones have never gone Well.  And he's always been Denied in the Past no matter how much he should have easily Qualified, you almost always have to Appeal and so he and Allen didn't know how to go thru all that, I have Experience at it, loads of Experience at it, too much Experience at it in fact.  So I go in preparing for Battle.  The Best Case Scenario is I don't Need to go to War with them and they just Approve him.  *Winks*  Worse Case Scenario I will bury them in Appeals becoz we have nothing to Lose and they've given us nothing to Lose.  I can become the worst Nightmare of anyone choosing to Deny Services to someone I'm Advocating for and Caregiver of that desperately Needs them and shouldn't have ever been Denied them.  I don't Care what Flavor of the Month they want you to Be.

I frankly don't know how Disabled you have to be for them to Qualify you actually???  It's all quite a Crap Shoot.  Coz it can get Bat Shit Crazy, Donnie Two Dolls Crazy, and... sometimes it's just not Crazy Enough for The System!!!   Back when I Applied for him when he was a Teenager, back when instead of Writing his Protective Symbols in just Chalk all over the place at our Home, he was often using his own Excrement to do it all over his Furniture, Walls, Bed... I took Photographs for Proof, the Social Security Shrink thought that wasn't Crazy Enough!!!  Why?   Coz back then he could still Feed himself, Bathe Himself and Dress Himself!  He couldn't be Educated coz Schools wouldn't accept him since they considered his level of Mental Illness too Extreme, that didn't matter.  He couldn't take his Psyche Meds anymore by Age 15 coz it was shutting down his Kidneys and Liver, so his assigned Shrink had to take him off of them.  

Which is why things were unraveling so much, I had an Unmedicated Seriously Mentally Ill Teenager who was Self-Harming all of the time, had been turned away from every type of School so was being Denied an Education too!!!  I couldn't Manage him without Help coz he was full sized by then and Strong as most Adult Men, sometimes Stronger when completely Psychotic, coz they got that Whacko R Strength {insert now Taboo Forbidden Word, LOL}!  He wasn't receiving maximum Services, but, Social Security said come back when he's an Adult and we'll Reconsider his Case.  And so... now here we are!!!  Back Again for Reconsideration... and he's worse now at 25 than he was at even 15.  Now becoz his Food is Moving and he assumes it's Alive, and assumes someone is trying to Poison him, he needs help Eating.  He often needs help with Bathing regularly and with Dressing and maintaining proper Hygiene and Sanitation of himself and of his Living Areas to keep them Safe and him Safe and properly Cared for.  We've moved on to Chalk Protective Symbols instead of Protective Symbols in his own Shit, so, that's Progress I Guess... *Eye Roll and Sighs, we Celebrate the Small Victories*

And I Swear on the Holy Bible that this time he's coming with a Check coz I'm sick and tired of him being Denied any way to Survive except on the Charity and Mercies of Family and Friends alone, and for all of his Life!!!  I'm not gonna become an Immortal so when I'm Gone, he won't have any means of being Supported and Cared for otherwise.  His Mom can't do it, she's as Mentally Ill as he is and couldn't Raise her Children or Care for her own Self appropriately due to her Schizophrenia.  She's had a Hard Life with no Services.  I'm still trying to convince her that "They and Them" won't be waiting at Social Security to "Get her" and put her away... at least with him he's assured I'd protect him from involuntary Institutionalization.   She's been involuntarily Institutionalized too many times now in America and Mexico to have that kind of Trust in anyone or any Agency that allegedly is providing Help and has only caused her more Paranoia and Mistreatment, sometimes even Abuse, Physical and Sexual, which happens in those places, all the time.

 

So, enuf of that for now, I'm Bracing myself for going too, I Dread it coz it's never NOT an Ordeal and is never NOT Stressful to go thru with them.  If he gets Triggered by whoever the Caseworker is, it can go very Badly, and he's very Grown and Strong now, much more so than he was at 15, so no Hope of Restraining him if they push him into a Mental Meltdown Episode by too much Stress of going thru The Process.  The Home Caseworkers go better coz he's in his Safe Space to do those Interviews and receive that level of Care provided in the Home.  Also, there's not all the Sensory Overload of a Social Security or DES Office or Psychiatric Hospital or Offices.  He doesn't like Doctors, whether it's for Physical or Mental Health, he Imagines them all to be potentially Harmful to him, so he's suspicious of them and doesn't LIKE them.  

So, there's THAT too.   And when he is not LIKING something or someone, it can be an Ordeal to gain any Trust with him about it or them.   He is okay with taking the Psyche Meds he's on and the Anti-Seizure Meds he's on, but both are running out by end of April and he has no Coverage now to receive them.  Ruh Roh, that will be very Bad, both Physically for stopping his Seizures, and Mentally without his Psyche Meds.  So, we do desperately Need both and I'm going to convey we've got less than Two Weeks worth left and he's not been Accepted and Approved yet for anything we've already Applied for.  So, Tick-Fucking-Tock.  If you don't want for things to go totally Sideways, it would be good to push this thru now ASAP and quit dicking around or jerking us around with all the Bureaucrazy involved.  I can't circumvent it all on my Dime anymore, that's just the Reality of the Situation.  

I don't have Magic Fairie Dust and supernatural shit to access like Potions and Healing Spells, or a Wand to Wave over his Ass to Cure him.  This is how he'll be Forever and Ever.  Fervent Prayer hasn't done it.  Unless God starts Curing Serious Mental Illness, which, so far, He hasn't... nor has Modern Medicine and Science.  So, here we are.  I'm not diminishing the Power of Prayer, but I do know some Prayers go Unanswered, so you can't just rely on Thoughts and Prayers.   Any Offered with all sincerity, they are Appreciated, but right now I could use some Present Help for a change.   With Caring for so many Loved Ones who are in dire straits and rely solely on me and whatever I can only provide, which, isn't Enough and will never be Enough to meet any of them at their various Points of Need. 

 I've given Shelter, I put more Water in the Beans to stretch the Food to Feed this many, but I'm not Crazy enuf nor Blasphemous enuf like Donnie Two Dolls to liken myself to Jesus and generate Offensive AI Images on Social Media of myself even trying to perform Miracles.   And feeding the several Thousand with the Seven Loaves and Basket of Fish Miracle hasn't transpired here at Forever Boheme' either for us Six.  I can only Budget usually $200-$300 for Groceries Monthly to Feed Six of us out of our Pension/Disability Income, and sometimes that's a stretch even for me and I'm frugal as fuck and can stretch a Buck far!!!   If he Qualifies even for just the Nutritional Assistance for One Disabled Adult Male, he'd get just over $200 Monthly, which would double what I could do to feed us all, so, that would indeed be Helpful if parsed out.  Of coarse I feed them all anyway, but, I'm not Legally required to feed this many Adult Relatives who have no income, are too Disabled to be Employable, or making Minimum Wages, so can't afford their own Shelter and must live here or be Homeless.

Princess T did feed us well when we were out Yesterday, most of the other Food Porn Images is Old Imagery gleaned from the Food Porn Photo Archives, when Times were better and so we could indulge ourselves.  *LOL*  Those days may be coming to a halt for most of America if things continue to worsen with this shitty Economy he's Created.  And every day when people say, "Is he Dead yet?", he's the only person ever who doesn't even have to be Named and I know exactly who they're talking about... and ain't that pathetic that we now have an American President that probably more than half the Country wouldn't be Sad if he just FOADed?  

  

We'd be Celebrating the Liberation from him and no more Bat Shit Crazy in the White House... coz, perhaps the Sycophants then would not be cowering, kowtowing, bending the Knee and Kissing the Ring, since they will never have a Spine or Balls while he's among the Living, they've proven that unfortunate Fact.  And not done the Job for the American People they were Elected to do to represent us properly rather than being beholden to a Man.   And I do Hope our People can do what the Hungarian People have done to oust their Leadership that was Oppressive and a threat to Democracy in the next Election, we shall see tho'?   There's still so much Wrong and I think American Voters now are just so fed up with it ALL that they want a viable choice they can confidently feel will represent us, ALL of us, not just a selective few who become Cult Members of a President.   And only represent the Fringes on either Side and Extremist Minority in the Country.

The Niece, on the Right in this Pix and dressed in Black, is holding up under Caregiving for her Mom, who is lasting longer than her Expiration Date Docs gave her, but is in the Final Stage of her Fight with Cancer.  Her Bestie, pictured with her, comes over to Help her with the Extreme Caregiving, coz it's definitely too much for one Person and the Home Hospice Palliative Care Help only comes once a Week to Minister to her Dying Mom.   I'm glad to see that The Niece is taking Care of herself, she's Adorbs even without Makeup {see further Below her all Natural and Fresh Faced}, but, they were Celebrating something for her Husband recently, who is away a lot for his Career, so she's often Caregiving AND Single Parenting their Three Children, and so she was all dolled up for this Selfie.  *Smiles*  

 She Shared some Easter Videos of the Kiddos getting their Easter Baskets.  The Oldest Daughter and their Son, whose the Youngest, look like their Dad, but their Middle Daughter is the spitting Image of her Mom at that Age!!!   Takes me back Years to see that one.  {See directly Above}   This Kiddo looks like her Mom Cloned her.  *Smiles*   And her Big Sister and Little Brother look so much like their Dad that it looks like he Cloned them!!!   I watched The Niece grow up so it's Nostalgic for me to see at least One of her Kiddos that looks so much like she did growing up, takes me back.   Loads of precious Memories our Families Share and a long History. 

  I so Miss them and Wish they still lived in Arizona, we could be a Present Help then, coz we've always been Ride or Die and that close to each other's Families.   I am close to their Mom, she's been like a Sister to me even tho' we're not actually Biologically connected.  She helped me out when my Dad was Dying and we Partnered to delay him going in to Hospice and remaining at Home for as long as possible.  I'd like to be there for her as she's Dying in much the same way so she can remain at Home to Die if possible, around Family.  She still looks Beautiful and Radiant even while Battling this Brutal Disease and totally Rocking losing her Hair. But, they do seem to have a relatively decent Support Network of the Niece's Husband's Family and New Friends they've made there in Texas.   Which is where her Husband was from, she met him while he was still in the Military and Stationed here in the Air Force at the Base.  Their Family lived just outside of Luke AFB back then. 

 

Her Siblings have not been there for this Niece or their Mom, and she has Four Older Siblings.  But all live in other States and Three have demanding Careers and so does her Nephew, whose Grown.  One Brother is an Addict, so nobody expects him to surface.   LATER:  Well, Social Security was the Ordeal I thought it would be, different than the Ordeal Process of Twenty Years ago we went thru with The Daughter and my Friend Kathie {the one pictured who now has Cancer and is Dying}, who both Qualified for SSI way back then, and were Crazy enuf they didn't even Need an Appeal, but an Ordeal that is just different now.  Even with a Scheduled Appointment you still get Assigned a Number when you arrive and they don't call any of the Numbers in sequential Order.  After about an Hour our Number got called and you go to a Window where then they Assign you another Number and you wait again until that Number is called!!!

It's quite the Human Sideshow there coz it's the Inner City Location they send you to for SSI Applications and Wow... that's all I can say about what was filing in.  So, our Second Number got finally called and we sat in a not really Private Space in front of another Bullet Proof Window with little Holes to talk thru and the Interviewer asks her Questionnaire.  Even tho' they wanna know how long you've been Disabled, they let you know they'll only pull Medical Records from the last Five Years.  So, you get no consideration for having a Lifetime Serious Disability, which, one would think that would be important in determining extent of Disability, that's it not recent and you've had it since Childhood or that there is no Cure and you'll never get Better??!  But, I gave up long ago trying to figure out criteria for Government determinations of Qualifying Factors. 

They want to know what Medications you take and how it affected you in School {Special Ed, and him not being able to finish School coz his Disability was too profound for any School to Manage}, but, other than that the Questions were very Generic and Basic.  They don't Schedule you {Yet???}, to see any of their Doctors, but said it will take... wait for it... FIVE TO SEVEN MONTHS to Process and Review your Case for either Approval or Denial!!!   Seriously, I don't know what Disabled folks are supposed to do for 5-7 Months in the interim to Survive???   But, that's the time period for them to even get around to your Case now!!!  So, after that whole Ordeal and knowing it could be damned near all of 2026 before we even know one way or another if he's Approved or Denied, he was in Tears!!!  He'd had to put his Noise Cancellation Headphones on to even spend that many Hours there with all those People waiting... many with their fussy Children and lots of Street People.

I needed to Eat coz by then it was Lunchtime before we got outta there, but he was Emotional and unraveling so didn't wanna get out of the Truck.  And had been picking his Skin until it was Bleeding, so I just stopped in the Parking Lot of a "Farmer Boys" location and got it To Go and we ate it in the Truck.  It was Okay, not great, I usually only eat a Breakfast there, which I always like, their Lunch Menu didn't appeal to me that much.  I had a Spicy Chicken Sammie which looked as Editorial as their Menu Pixs of it.  But, they throw everything but the Kitchen Sink on it and call it "Loaded" and I could have done without a lot of what they slapped on there.  I didn't mind the Lettuce, Tomato, or even the Bacon... but they put a Guacamole and a Thousand Island Type Dressing with Cheese also on it, could have done without all of that on my Spicy Chicken.  I'm not a Fan of putting everything under the Sun on my Sammies, Burgers or Hot Dogs. 

 

Their side of Fruit is big tho' for a Side.  The Young Prince could barely eat coz he was so Emotionally distraught, so he brought most of it Home and his Grandpa will probably need to eat it.  Plus, Allen keeps Texting him and dumping how HE Feels on him... which right now The Young Prince does NOT Need.  Nothing he can do about how Allen Feels!  He has to know The Young Prince isn't doing Well and that all the Caregiving and Financial Support now is once again on me, so, I don't Need him winding The Grandson up by dumping his emotional baggage on him.  They're getting a Divorce, that's gonna be Hard, and Allen is the one that wrecked the Relationship in The Young Prince's opinion.  And I still feel that the Caregiving got to Allen and was just too much for someone as Young as him and with their own Disability.   But, they just need that clean break and The Grandson is trying that but Allen isn't respecting that Boundary.  And is holding up the Divorce now too, which is problematic for The Grandson receiving Services while still Legally Married!!!

Anyway, so I got Home to get a Call from the Kidney Specialist's Office, after already waiting much too long to get the EOM Appointment on the 29th of April, they are now Cancelling that one!!!  They said the Doc isn't available on that Morning now so they have to Re-Schedule for... wait for it... fucking JUNE!!!   I told them, you know his Kidneys are failing and very problematic, so waiting 'til the end of April was risky, I don't think he can manage thru June to be seen!  They insisted nothing is open 'til June now... so sorry... but, if his Labs come back really Bad, then they will TRY to Schedule him sooner if someone else Cancels!!!  WTF?!?!!?  I may ask our Insurance if there's another Kidney Specialist they can refer him to?  I'm definitely gonna inform Dr. Pham, his Cardiologist, of this, coz they are worried about his Kidneys too!!!  Every Doc that saw him during his ER Visits and his Hospitalizations was.  His Kidneys aren't doing Well.   So, anyway, just more bullshit and hurry up and wait, just like Social Security!!!  *Le Sigh*

So, forget what I said earlier about I can take my War Paint off for now... Ooops, No I can't!!!   Dammit!!!  Fighting these Battles to get the Services and Care very Ill and very Disabled Loved Ones desperately Need has become a full time fucking Job.  An unpaid Job at that, I'm getting no compensation for all this Caregiving, Advocacy Work, Driving everyone everywhere they Need to go coz none of them can Drive, EVER!!!   And nothing will improve and get Better, so, this is as good as it gets.  So, anyway, at least OUtside it's been a Cool and Breezy 78 Degrees, so quite Lovely out there.  Which, since it was a long Traffic heavy commute back and forth into The Heart of the City, was a good thing.  We had the Windows down on the Truck and let the Wind blow thru our Hairs.  *LOL*   And at least Social Security is behind us for now and I can Focus on what lies ahead yet to get Done... while waiting more than Half a Year for them to get to his Case and make some determination!!!!!!  Good News is I found another SeriusXM SPA Type Music Station Channel called 'Watercolors' that helps me not have Road Rage.  *LOL*

I borrowed this Meme from another Blogger and it's appropriate right now coz I do Feel "Understaffed" at the Moment.  Well, shit, more than just a Moment, I have been Understaffed for fucking YEARS, Decades in Fact!!!  Generationally Understaffed actually.  *Bwahahahaha*  You do have to see the Gallow's Humor in it tho'.  Our Interviewer at Social Security had some very Interesting Tattoos all over her Hands and Arms, at first I thought it to be Mehndi and then realized it was Tattoos that were permanent and quite Unusual markings.  I don't know if they were Ethnic Tattoos, since, they seemed to be either Ethnic or perhaps even Religiously Spiritually significant ones?   Or they could have been older Gang related Tattoos since many were Four Dots, which in Maricopa County is significant for "Crazy Life" {or Three Dots}.  

She had the Tats, especially Four Dots, along with other Symbols in Black, on every Knuckle of her Fingers and in between the Knuckles too, on her Wrists and up both Arms.  I don't know how much further it all went where you couldn't see, since, she was sitting behind a Desk and behind a Bullet Proof Window... with us on the other Side.  She didn't appear to be a Black Latina, but, she could have been affiliated at one time or another with Nuestra Familia or other Maricopa County Gangs.  I know there were a lot of OG Gang Members of my Generation or slightly Younger Sixties Plus Aged, in the Waiting Room.  Some real Hard Cases too, and most of them Disabled quite significantly, but with loads of Prison Flash and Gang Flash, Gang Hairstyles, Hairnets, and Clothing/Accessories of OG Gang Members still affiliated.  That Office has Double Security Guard presence and they Need it, clearly.

Also, don't you know the Parking Lot there at Social Security now wants you to Scan one of those Codes to pay for fucking Parking by the Hour, at Three Bucks an Hour... and you'll be there for Hours!   Three Bucks an Hour to me is excessive for Federal Benefits Parking, it should be Free Parking, plus, my Phone had lost it's Charge so I couldn't Scan that Square QR Code, and so I asked Security about how I'd be expected to Pay?   And he told me, listen, if you don't have a Ticket on your Windshield when you come out, just drive off, I don't think anybody even expects anyone to Pay Up even if they get Ticketed for the Twenty-Five Dollars!!!   Thankfully I didn't have a Ticket so I just drove off and have to Pay either Nine or Twenty-Five Bucks for Parking there.  *Whew*  I mean, most folks going there are trying to get Benefits they don't already have, or are required to Apply for, so why try to price Gouge/Extort them for Parking to TRY to receive them?

I thought he held up pretty good, considering, I think the Noise Cancelling Earphones really Helped.  He just mostly closed his Eyes and had me Tap him when it was our Turn so he didn't have to Hear anyone or See anyone.  He kept telling me that there was a lot of Bad Energy there and his Hallucination Demons were everywhere there walking among the People.  Oy Vey, I didn't Need to Hear that, coz Honestly, even NOT seeing Demons walking about, I could Feel the Bad Energy and Despair, it was palpable.   And I'm not even a Schizophrenic or Paranoid, but, just looking at that Crowd, there was a LOT going on with many of those folks that was visibly Evident.   There was a Middle Aged Asian Lady and an Older Hispanic Lady who had such a Ghostly Pallor to them and Halos in their Eyes that I do see, that meant they were close to End of Life, very Close.  Mebbe they'd not receive their Benefits ever kinda Close to their End.   The Young Prince saw my Face and asked me if I could see "The Dying" Ones, and I said, Yeah, it's real Sad they're having to go thru all this too in that latter State Condition.  

He doesn't see "The Dying" and doesn't ever want to, but he knows I do and can predict it with uncanny accuracy, as could my own Mother.  He knows when I say someone hasn't got long, they don't have long, but you never, ever tell the Person, you're not meant to.  I used to as a Child coz I didn't know any better and my Mom had to tell me you mustn't ever.  I don't know why you should know such things if it has to remain Unsaid, but, whatever... I don't Like Seeing it, but I do and you can't NOT See it.  I Smell it on them and See it in the Eyes especially, but sometimes their Skin isn't Right either.  I've always Wished it would just go away, but it never has.   I don't see Dead People, just the Living that are actively Dying and very Close to Death even if they don't yet know it.  There was at least a few of them there, I tried not to make Eye Contact with them or sit near them, coz Death smells Sickly Sweet.  And it would bother me to be too near them Smelling it.  Not the foul Odor of the Already Dead.   More like Unbaked Bread Dough.

At 3:00 we have to leave for the Cardiologist.  I guess not only did Nurse Remi come, but that PT Guy John came again too while I was Gone!!!  I didn't think he was Approved to come Weekly, guess so, coz he had said it wouldn't cost us anything when he comes, coz he won't come until and unless it's Pre-Approved.   So, he changed out The Man's Foot and Leg Dressing again and liked the Style of Walker I'd gotten him at the Chazza.  Nurse Remi liked it too and both said it was the kind they wanted him to have for around the Home.  It's narrower than his VA Walker and doesn't have back Wheels, just front ones.  The only problem is he bashes around the House in it like he's in a fucking Bumper Car at a Carny Ride!  

I'm like, Honey, be more Careful and Settle Down, you don't have to go crashing around with it like a Bull in a damned China Shop, flinging open Doors into Furniture and shit too!!!   I sit behind our Bedroom Door in a Corner of our Bedroom at my Computer Desk and he flung the Door open so hard it shook my whole Table here and startled me!  He likes using it tho', he has to just Learn to use it less aggressively.  *Ha ha ha*  I notice a lot of Old folks in Walkers and Scooters are Wild as fuck with them tho', I don't know what gets into them, but the moment they have some Medical Device for to remain ambulatory, they lose their Minds.  I should have known The Man would be coz I don't allow him to use those Electric Scooters when we go Shopping coz he's a Danger in one, he'd be running over People and bashing into things!!!  *LOL*  The Son found a couple Tennis Balls to put on the Legs of his Walker that don't have Wheels so it's Quieter and glides smoothly across surfaces. 

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Several Posts Ahead now... Dawn... The Bohemian