More Medicare TriCare Drama And A Headache

 Princess T has her Dental Surgeon Appointment this Morning, for Reals this time.  Remember last time I got the Dental Appointments mixed up and showed up at the Surgeon and not her Pediatric Dentist, which we were supposed to go there for just a Cleaning!  *LOL*  This happens when you're getting Older and still dealing with Young Dependents with everything they need.  It's why Women my Age don't still Breed!  *Winks*  It wasn't the first mix-up, when they were Younger, their Pediatrician and Pediatric Dentist often got a kick out of me showing up with the Wrong Grandchild for the Appointment every so often!  *Bwahahaha*

Anyway, she's getting ready early and that's good coz it's a long commute to the Northwest Valley from the Southwest Valley there.  But, it's all Freeway so we should make good timing coz it's not 'til 11:00 a.m. so Rush Hour will already be over.  They want her arriving early tho' to fill out paperwork as a new Patient, which I'll have to help her with coz of her Learning Disabilities, Reading and Writing is still hard for her and she gets Anxious about filling out important Forms without assistance.  She may always need assistance with things like that I think?  She's smart but they never did figure out the Learning Barrier she has, it wasn't Dyslexia and after a while they gave up trying to identify whatever it was to be able to tell us specifically.

Anyway, getting Wisdom Teeth out is often necessary but never pleasant so I wasn't pleased they don't intend to do it all in One Visit.  If the 1st extraction doesn't go Well, she may Panic completely about having the 2nd one?  This is just the consultation Today, which she's glad of coz she didn't want Oral Surgery just before Valentine's Day since Rusty is taking her out for a Meal.  *LOL*  Plus, not very Romantic if you're dealing with being Post-Surgical.  *Ha ha ha*  When I had my Wisdom Tooth out, I only ever had One that came in, I had an Old Dentist who was almost Retirement Age.  He had it out in 5 Seconds and without anything he had to give me, Painless, so Quick I almost swallowed it!  I think he may have been a Magician in another Life?  *Smiles*

But my Kids and The Young Prince had more complex Oral Surgeries for Wisdom Tooth extraction so I know my experience wasn't typical.  I'm not typical anyway, so... *Ha ha ha*  My Wisdom Tooth, singular, never came in until I'd already had all my Kids either and was much older than usual for it to come in.  The other Three never really formed so never had to be dealt with at all.  If there's a hint of them in my Jaw, they're still there with no Negative impact to me whatsoever.  In Dental X-Rays they never say anything about it to this day.  I'm also missing one of the Four little Lower Jaw Teeth in the Front, and was missing one of the Upper Teeth that looks like a Fang.  I had a Baby Tooth there tho' and had it removed when I was 19, no permanent Tooth under it.

We were Joking, her and I, that she has a Joker Mouth from Batman in this X-Ray!  *LOL*  But they were shocked she's never had Braces and her Teeth are Naturally this Straight and never had a Cavity.  Anyway, I'm Hopeful her Anxiety level is low for this visit and they don't frighten her there explaining the Procedure?  As it is I'm having trouble getting The Daughter to Schedule her Dental Appointment to get all her Work finally done now AHCCCS and Medicaid is giving her Dental Insurance Coverage.  She's Paranoid about Dentists, even something as simple as an Exam or Cleaning, and taking a Paranoid Schizophrenic to the Dentist is no easy challenge. The Young Prince, being one too, doesn't do much better about visiting Dentists.  To be Fair even Well folk often are Terrified of Dentists, it's a legitimate Fear a lot of people have.

And, The Niece never did respond to my PM on FB so I don't know if she just hasn't read it yet, or didn't Receive it Well?  We'll wait and see?  I was Mindful of being Diplomatic with my Words and not Judgmental at all, just offering Helpful Suggestions.  I reminded her also that her Mom may have felt Lynn's visit as just a Long Time Friend, was more Important and Meaningful than just having Lynn pitch in to do Extreme Caregiving Duties?   After all, the Woman had come all the way from Oregon to Texas to see her one last time, which means Lynn felt it Important and Meaningful enuf too IMO.  I didn't wanna take Sides so kept my assessment Neutral as Switzerland about the conflict The Niece and Lynn had during the Visit.  But quite sure Lynn didn't expect how it played out at all after she came such a long ways to see her Dying Friend one last time.

Now I'm quite certain, that even if I had the capacity to make the Visit, which I don't have that Option, it would make me hesitant to.  Due to that it might be a long Trip with the Right Intentions, that could go just as Sideways and not at all be Helpful in the least?  I wouldn't come all the way from Arizona to be Free Maid Service, when I'd come to spend Quality Time with my Dying Friend, that's for sure.  I highly now suspect it's why even Family isn't showing up now.  The last thing you want, is to show up to see a Dying Friend or Loved One/Family Member, and get into it with any of the rest of their Family for any reason who wanna dump everything on you involuntarily.  Even if you're inclined to Drama, which I'm not, I don't think it Tracks for anyone to show up to cause Trouble on Purpose in a Situation such as this.  Now, at the Reading of a Will or disposition of an Estate, I'd expect Trouble.  But my Friend has neither so nobody benefits from her Death.

But, if a Family has Dysfunction at the Best of Times, then at the Worst of Times it's not gonna improve.  And I think my Friend's Family is a Classic Case of that unfortunate level of Family Dysfunction in their Relationships with one another.  Love sometimes can't transcend the tricky complex Dynamics of Family that don't get along and never will.  Lots of Estrangements have happened with this Family, so it's no big Surprise there are Estrangements now and Bad Blood between them all.  And my Dear Friend, well, she often had a Love-Hate Relationship with everyone.  I used to Tease her about it, saying, Kathie, pick a Mood, any fucking Mood and stick with it for a Minute won't ya?!  Often she was in what I call "I Love To Hate You, I Hate To Love You" Frame of Mind.  *LOL*

By contrast I got along with everyone almost all of the time.  And if I felt Triggered or near Triggered, I'd give Fair Warning that whoever it was is Testing me and my Patience.  Patience not being a particular Virtue, but I can feel when someone is going Too Far and needs to Dial it Back with me and I always Warn them first, before I come out of the Bag on them or go Mental.  Kathie didn't ever have that capacity, she could go from Nice to Mental on the turn of a Dime sometimes and not be rational or even Aware sometimes that she'd gone over The Edge.  Which is why she came with an SSI Check for her Disability and was on loads of Psyche Meds for as long as I've known her.  I figure I'm considered High Functional Mental by comparison?   IE: No Checks, No Meds.  I Manage my Mental Illness Cold Turkey and White Knuckling it.  *Bwahahahaha*

Hey, you Work with what you Have.  Hey, I did try Therapy once and even a Shrink Twice, NOT Helpful in the least.  Mostly they wanted to Medicate you so heavily that it would render you barely Functional if they considered you a Real Head Case.  Which wouldn't work for me Caring for a Family and especially being a Corporate Executive or even once I became a Full Time Unpaid Extreme Caregiver.  And, during Session they just kept asking how I FELT about this or that?  And that isn't Helpful, how I FELT about any of it was not gonna Change a damned thing about the Reality of any Situation at Hand.  Plus, you can FEEL 20 different ways about anything at any given time, Feelings are fickle like that and can be fleeting. 

 I might FEEL Okay about something on a Monday Morning and by Noon FEEL like it's intolerable now.  *LOL*  This is often why I turn Off my Emotions and FEEL Nothing about anything one way or another, it gets me thru it better.  However, after watching a crucial Episode of Hoarders their Therapist did mention that will Manifest in Coping in Unhealthy ways, like accumulating shit... and so to Feel what you're Feeling and sit with it for a Minute, it probably won't Kill ya, and the Emotion will diminish some the longer you sit with it.  So, I've been Working on that and it is a Helpful suggestion.  When I Feel Anxiety and being Overwhelmed or not Coping Well with something, now I allow myself to Stop and Feel the Emotion.  And see if I can move forward less Robotically or not just abandon the Project?  *LOL*

It works for the Editing and Purging of my Stuff pretty well, but not for Caregiving all that Well.  I can't Sit with the Emotions that Caring for someone brings with it as Emotional Baggage, coz then I doubt I could continue to Care for them effectively, if at all?  The Man is often Unlovely while being Cared for, he doesn't Like his lack of Independence.  So, to keep him from projecting too much of his frustration or anger upon everyone all the time, I have to be The Heavy and do it with the complete lack of Emotion I always do.  Coz then everyone takes me Dead Seriously, especially him. *Winks*  If I was Emotional, they would not and it might Panic them all.  And more than one Person not being in Control of their Emotions, well, I doubt that would be particularly Helpful.  It is Helpful when no matter what the fuck is happening, I show no Emotion about it and am Stoic and Dead Calm.   That Works and is Helpful.  I get obedience and compliance.

I've found even when other folks are confrontational, if you stay eerily Calm while they're losing their Shit, often even Silent and yet Standing your Ground, no Words could Speak louder.  I've had folks Threaten me before and when I simply Calmly respond, "Well, you gotta Do whatever you Feel is Right.  And... if you're Feelin' Froggy, then Leap."  I've not had a single one Act upon their dramatic Threats, becoz a lot of folks are all Talk and no Action.  If I'm gonna fuck someone up, it's coz I feel Threatened, not becoz I want to BE Threatening towards them.  I've never started a Fight in my whole Life, but I end them with a flourish. And so no Words are necessary, I'm not gonna utter a damned thing before I Act upon taking them Down and Out as quickly and efficiently as possible to avoid getting Hurt myself.  Self-Defense requires no dialogue exchanged.

I taught my Kiddos not to start Fights with anyone, treat everyone with the Measure of dignity, respect, compassion and humanity we feel every Human Being, actually any Sentient Being, deserves and you'd want extended towards yourself.  But, if someone is lacking in compassion, humanity, or respect for you, make damned sure they Learn to Fear you.  It will avoid a lot of Drama and a Headache with or from them and deter a great many confrontations they may otherwise choose to initiate with you.  Make sure your Waters are Deep enuf that if they choose to step in them, they better be a damned Strong Swimmer and stay in their own Lanes.  It's Worked Well for each of them too, even the Quiet and most Docile one, which is Princess T.  But, if Angered, she IS a Force to be Reckoned with, goes from Docile and Introverted to Pre-Demonic in a Nano-Second, and everyone Learns that quickly. 

Its funny that at her Work, tho' she is known as the Quiet, Introverted little Sprite, who takes her Job seriously and has an outstanding Work Ethic, nobody wants to dare to Piss her off either.  *Smiles*  I would Pity the Fool actually.  If she goes very, very Quiet on your Ass, and gives you her Death Stare, with Eyes like Dark Black Pools of pending Doom, chances are, you've poked The Beast Princess and taken it too far.  *LOL*  Every so often I've sparked that Stare and Response in her, so I know what it Looks like, it can be Chilling.  Tho' she does Joke that when her Black Eyeball Doom Eye Stare meets my Icy Grey Eyeball Crazy Eye Stare, she chooses not to Engage and defers.  *Bwahahahahaha* 

 The problem with her Black Iris Color Eyeball is you can't tell she's gone Shark Eyed Psychotic coz her Pupil is the same Color as her Iris.  So Gauging her level of Crazy is damned near impossible for me.  *Smiles*  Luckily her Crazy Respect my Crazy.  *Winks*   And so her and I rarely have any Standoffs or even problems, she's been my Golden Child that way.  Wish I'd had Four of 'em instead of just One, would have made Parenting ever so much easier.  *LOL*  The Oldest Daughter we didn't Raise, since The Man got Divorced when she was Two and his Ex Remarried soon thereafter.  So we only had to Deal with her Turbulent Teen Years via Telephone with her Mom and Stepdad soliciting our Help at times.  During the Teen Years I can't tell ya how many times she was gonna threaten to be sent from Pittsburgh to Phoenix to come Live with us.  *Ha ha ha*

Once she lamented to me, they make me Clean my Room and help look after my Little Brother and Sister here, so I wanna come out there and Live with you and Dad!!!!!!!!   In which case I Calmly responded, "What, you think you won't have a Room here to Clean or a Little Brother and Sister to help with?"   She pondered that only momentarily coz she knew her Little Brother and Sister here weren't Right in the Head, so might be a whole lot more Sibling Wrangling than the Little Brother and Sister she had there.  *Smiles* And... her Mom wasn't Mental like me either, so her Dad Warned her, you and Dawn are on good Terms, I'd suggest you wanna Keep it that way.   And so her Mom and Stepdad said whatever we'd said on the Phone has Worked Wonders... Imagine that, an Instant Attitude Adjustment!  It's a Miracle!!!  *Winks*  And she only came out to Phoenix for very nice Visits.  And they, and we, all Survived her Turbulent Teen Years.  *Bwahahaha*

She's actually turned out very well and we've always had a very good Relationship, but, she's not one to make a lot of Contact either.  The Grandkids make a lot more contact than their Mom, and The Man is one not to make a lot of Contact with Family, so I think she got that from him actually?  I always had to be the one to initiate Contact with his side of the Family or I don't know that he ever would, if they didn't initiate, and most of them don't except for his Oldest Brother.  So, his Family aren't as Close Knit as my Family always were.  When my Parents were Alive I don't think a day went by that we didn't have some contact if and when things were Good.  With Mom, it would sometimes be iffy coz she was SMI and sometimes her and The Man didn't get along, they'd fight and argue about Crazy shit, like Zip Codes!   Yeah, Mental as fuck!!!  *LOL*

I'd tell The Man, Listen, she NEEDS to be Right... and you Feel a NEED to be Right.  And you both can't always fucking BE Right, so just Forfeit the Need to Be Right and have some Peace instead, Okay?  He just couldn't do it.  And in our Relationship he HATES that my way of Dealing with his Need to always be Right is Four Simple Words and then I just Walks away, no conflict ever necessary, "You could be Right."   Drops the Mic.  *Winks, try it sometime, it always works, you can Thank me later.*  I will forfeit any Need to be Right to maintain my Peace and not Disturb my Calm, you Hear me?   Life is too fucking short for petty squabbles about shit that doesn't even matter.   I squash that shit instantly before it escalates, even IF it matters, which, usually it doesn't.  *Winks*  We may not be able to Change their Hearts, but we can perhaps Change their Position?

The Granddaughter's Dental Surgeon Consultation went well, the Surgeon is a Handsome and very nice Stud Muffin.  Both of us said our Gaydar went off tho'.  *Winks*  She took me out to eat afterwards at "Chino Bandido" which is in the same Parking Lot as a Fav "Goodwill" that always has high end Donations.  She Scored over $2,000 worth of Italian Women's Leather Dress Shoes and Leather Boots, some worth over $700 each!!!   Same Donor I'm sure and she joked that some Rich Old Dead White Lady has the same Size as her, so, Whoop Whoop!!!  Her little Heart was beating like a Hummingbirds as she tried to look Casual as she was scooping them ALL up coz another Young Girl happened to then take Notice.  *Ha ha ha*

Princess T knows the Good Stuff and the High End Merch Brand Names of European Fashion and Designers.   She was Google Lensing each one to see the Retail/Resale Price Point on them.  Conservatively the 5-6 Pair she got would have cost over Two Grand, probably much more.  They look so good on her too!!!  And they looked very gently worn, as Rich folk often have a Shoe Closet full of High End Footwear so they don't wear them out and mebbe only wear them a few times.  She was eager to go back there again to see if they roll more out on the Floor since they were the stuff just being put out.  A Guy behind us in Line let me take a Pix of the 20% Off Coupon for February since I no longer have an E-Mail that is functional.  JUNO shut down so I have to get The Young Prince to set me up with a new E-Mail Address.

I got a couple Hard Cover Cookbooks and a Mannequin Head cheaply too.  Then we passed by the Phoenix Downtown SAVERS location and Mondays are Half Price Day, so we Scored a little bit there too.  I was Mad tho', I'd gotten a Jade Carved Koi Fish Necklace at the Jewelry Counter when we first came in and completely forgot they were holding it for me, dammit!  We left without it!!!  It's too far now to go all the way back down to get it!!!  That happens a lot when they're holding something, you forget about it at checkout.  Especially when it's busy like on Half Price Day, coz there's not many folks helping there at the Self-Scan Registers at that Downtown Location, asking if you have anything being held.  They are more Customer Service oriented at her Store.  I'm Mad at myself for not remembering coz Princess T did remind me just before Checkout... I forget so easily now, even if reminded.

I got Gas 60 Cents a Gallon Off with my Fry's Discount tho', which was nice.  And I bought my Plantings to put in my Talavera Pots out front.  I got a Yerba Buena Sweet Mint and a Rosemary Bush.  And I got a little Pot of assorted Succulents and one is Blooming beautifully.   My Oregano on the Front Porch made a comeback after I started remembering I even had it out there.  *Whew and LOL poor Things*  I got everything transplanted into their new Pots, I have Two more Plants to Buy for Two other Talavera Pots to put on the Posts of the Front Block Wall.  But Plants have gotten so much more expensive, I had Sticker Shock at "Home Depots" Plant Nursery.  I will look at "Lowe's" next to see if their Pricing is lower?

Today it got to 89 Degrees!   Wow!  Even for the Desert, in early February, that's about 20 Degrees above Normal.   I picked up another Shift for Tuesday Night the 17th, to fill in for my Friend Crazy Ed, he hasn't been too well either, so I don't mind covering for him or my Friend Richard, also having serious Health Issues.   At first they thought they needed coverage for another Tuesday Night but then realized they had found someone else for that Date's coverage.  I would have done it, but was okay that they had found someone else.   The Young Prince isn't doing good Today, he's got Dental Problems and Emotionally is Raw again.  He's been so uplifted for Superbowl Sunday so I don't know why he bottomed out Today, but he did and told me, so I'd know.  The Man isn't doing Good either.

The Man has Nurse Remi coming Tomorrow Morning tho' so I plan to tell her of his Fall, his Mood being really low, his Mobility being suddenly compromised, so they can tell his Doctor.   I don't know what else they can do for him, I'm suspecting, not much?   So, it is what it just is now.  The Niece never did respond to my FB PM to her, so I'm not gonna Call back, clearly she didn't receive what I had to say, speaking the Truth in Love, wasn't what she wanted to hear.  I'm not one to just tell you what you want to hear, but, what you NEED to hear, or, I just won't say anything at all.   I felt I needed to just Listen during her Phone Call and allow her to Vent, but she took it in such a Wild direction that I measured my Words but Wrote some suggestions that will be Helpful IF she decides to Receive them in the Right Spirit?  If not, well, there's nothing more I can say and she's likely to run off any Present Help she may have had.

Trying to justify laying Hands in Anger on her Aunty Lynn, who is an Older Woman, wasn't flying with me and she knew it after she confessed.  Regardless of why it happened, it shouldn't have happened, period.  I know that landed like a Lead Balloon, it's not Behavior Tolerable to me and she knows it, but she came Clean about it to me rather than me hearing it from someone else, which was a Good thing.  But it is something that could have Caught her some Serious Charges and she needed to Know and Hear that.  Aunty Lynn is a Senior and therefore considered a Vulnerable Adult.  So if she'd wanted to Press Charges, it could have gone very badly, and she was risking having her Kids taken away and her ill Mother, as well as doing Time.  You cannot be considered Unsafe to be around, it's not okay.  And I don't know what condition the Home was in for Lynn to confront her about it not being "Clean Enough" either?  

Anyway, I'm not there so I can only go on what has been said to me as being accurate and not from the most reliable Source.  I do Need to call my Friend and hear at least another Version, from her perspective, to decide how much embellishing or psychosis was going on?   When someone has psychotic episodes what is imagined, perceived, or real can be very muddled and not be entirely Reality based.  Even what she WANTED to do opposed to what she actually DID could be questionable as well.   I do think my Friend should probably be in a Hospice full time now, that's my Opinion, for everyone involved.  Hospice Care is usually exemplary, it was for both of my Parents and I was Grateful to the Hospice Team, they Minister to the whole Family and not just the Dying, most are also Non-Profits.

But every Family must decide Internally what is best for their Loved Ones, I wouldn't presume to overstep my Friendship by straying in their Lane about any of that forcefully.   Suggestions and Opinions when Solicited are up to those who Receive them to do with them what they will.  I Hope it can be of Help and if they don't think so, that's Okay too.  There will be no Happy Ending to their Story and so my Heart breaks and aches for their whole Family and for my Friend especially, it's a tough way to Go.   And she has One Child whose trying to be all she can for her during the worst of it, so, that's Priceless to any ailing Parent.   No Caregiver is expected to be Perfect and it's very hard to be one, I know from loads of Experience.  

The Sanitized Versions some might portray on TV or even on some Blogs, that are Saccharine Sweet and not very Authentic, are a detriment actually IMO.  And total Bullshit, it's not Believable to me, nobody is that much of a Saint and nor is anyone being Cared for who requires Extreme Care.   Don't Romanticize something that is Deep in the Trenches and very messy, few actually Buy it and perhaps someone with Zero Point of Reference may want to Believe you, but, it's not like that and we all know it who do have a Point of Reference.   I keep it 100... but I suspect some Caregivers do not, for Fear of Judgment perhaps, or to be told what 'Saints' they are, to boost their Morale, I dunno?   The Niece is trying very hard and falling short, we all do and have, it's Okay.  She's striving to be there and be Love in Action, during the worst time of her and her Mom's Life, that's all you can do.

LATER:  Well, I did get to Talk to my Niece and my Friend Tonight, my Message was Received Well and the Family Dynamics are just complicated, so, I understand the Sentiments.  My Friend is very near The End, the Home Nurse comes Once a Week but by next Week will be coming often to ease her into the Actively Dying Phase, which, has already begun.  She was having a Good Moment during my Call, which was Touching, coz it was like talking to her normally, and not to someone Dying.  Her Daughter said she doesn't have many of those Moments so she was very Happy that her Mom was having such a Good Moment for our entire Call.  She was very Happy to converse and we laughed a lot, as we always have.  Especially about how smokin' Hawt she is with Short Hair or even no Hair.  *Smiles*  If a Dying Person can find something to still Laugh about, I should be able to also.

They are making her comfortable, she's got the Cocktail going on, so is in no Pain, which is good.  She said she called all of her Children and her Sister Today, and her Oldest Grandson she helped Raise to ask them to come before she won't know they're even there.  None are coming and that made her quite Sad, everyone made excuses and some of those excuses are no Believable, so I was very sorry to hear that.  I know she wants to see the ones that can be there.  The One Son whose still in The Live is in Prison, which, is probably where he should be, since, he hasn't been Clean or staying out of Trouble.  I had wondered, The Son had some contact with him here in Arizona last Year, when Kenny reached out to him, and Warned me, make and accept no Contact, he's Using and in The Life, Mom, so I don't want him around any of us.

I guess the other Son and the Oldest Grandson only live 8 Hours away, so, the fact they wont' bother to come is inexcusable.   The one Older Sister is always posting Trips she's constantly on yet claimed she can't come coz she can't 'afford' to, which, doesn't Track with the Money she's spending and showing off all over Social Media.  She's not making seeing her Dying Mom a priority, she'll have to Live with that decision, you're a long time Dead.  The Niece is pricing Cremations for her Mom now and will cover all expenses since none of her Siblings or the Oldest Nephew want to contribute anything.  That's a shame too, but she said she doesn't even plan to notify any of them when their Mom's Time comes, they can find out from secondhand information since they didn't Care enuf to show up when her Mom asked them to a pleaded for them to.  It's not gonna be very long and she knows it.

I just got notification Today from TriCare, my Prescription Drug Coverage Insurer via The Man's Military Benefits, that they're no longer covering Two of my Diabetic Medications!!!  So, won't be renewing the Prescription, no explanation whatsoever, WTF?!  So, I have to call them coz now they're saying to go thru Medicare instead for those Two.  It's been screwy since 2026, first AETNA and United Healthcare drop all Veterans and Spouses from Medicare Advantage Coverage in Maricopa County, now this, where TriCare is deciding not to cover some of our Meds too!!!  So, from both ends we're getting screwed over by our Federal Benefits Earned, and Medicare.  I've already got One Appeal outstanding about that Penalty I don't really Owe... now they're saying I can Appeal this too!!!  Like I got nothing to do but file Appeals and Pay Out of Pocket for what should be covered and really amounts to kind of Extortion!!!

I don't know what Explanation, if any, they will give when I call to make an inquiry and complaint?   So, I just Googled the Why and it says effective 2026  they made changes with over 100 new Drug Exclusions!  To save Costs, and suggest you have your Doc substitute lower-cost biosimilars.  So, now I'll have to ask my Doc to sub the Statin and the Lisinopril for something Cheaper/Generic, I dunno, whatever would be a Cheap Ass equivalent so the Federal Government can pay less???  *Eye Roll*  Rich when you consider how much this Administration is Stealing from the Federal Government in Billions of Dollars to enrich Individuals who are corrupt Billionaires already.  But, Families and Veterans who Served their Country are being excluded from getting the best Medications coz the Government can't 'afford' it???  You know, now that so much is being siphoned by this Administration into their own Pockets.

So, now I've got to go in to my Doc's Office and request they do a quick Substitution so I can get refills in time that are lower cost equivalents to what they want me to be taking.  So far it's Two of the Seven Meds I have to be on... so far.  I mean, I had to quit using the Base Satellite Pharmacy where my Meds were Free with no Co-Pay, until they quit carrying most of what I was on.  Then I had to switch to TriCare's Express Scripts by Mail, which has Co-Pays that now Cost me $200 a Month, but, get Delivered to my Home, which is at least convenient.  So long as they don't start excluding what I'm on to where there are no biosimilars???  What a Dog & Pony Show it's all become. 

 Plus, I got another Letter saying HUMANA isn't covering some of my Dental Cleaning, it's a small amount they disallowed, but I don't know if my Dentist will just Write it off or bill me?  I'm within my Annual Benefits Allowance, by a long shot, the Year just began and it's all I've had done so far, a mere Cleaning with updated X-Rays!!!  Basic stuff.  Never had these exclusions with Medicare Providers before 2026.  I think this may be a "Thing" now we just have to be hassled about with Medical, Dental and Prescription Coverage thru our Providers, I dunno?  We Pay for our Coverage and yet it keeps covering less and less, doesn't it?  At least we still have Coverage, many Americans probably don't now with all the ACA Cuts... and Scams like the Marketplace ACA one that The Son Qualified for and now wants a huge reimbursement they never disclosed when he Signed Up with them.  He Paid Premiums too and now they're Clawing Back the majority of the Subsidy provided!!!

I'm just tired of having to Battle all these Insurances all of the time becoz they keep Changing Coverage provided, dreaming up new Disqualifying Factors so they can pay less and make more, and increase Premiums while providing less and less.   It's not as if they're not making Record Profits, becoz, they are.  And it's not as if all other First World Developed Countries don't have a better way of providing Care, coz they all do... and America could too, but, they choose not to.  Apparently the American Public aren't worth it to them and they're making that more apparent every single Day now.   The pretense of even Caring is gone, it's all become transaction and supporting and Serving only the Oligarchy, not the American Public.

*******

It's so much of a Headache right now I'm reaching for an Aspirin... Dawn... The Bohemian 

If It Even Smells Like Drama And A Headache

 

In Real Time it's still Superbowl Sunday just past Noon, I went to Two Grocers to pick up the Buffet Spread.  "Sprouts" had the best Deals, 50 Cents for Strawberries... $1.50 for a Melon Bowl of Fruits... the Street Taco Kits on Sale... Gourmet Meats, Cheeses & Condiment Deli Trays on Sale that has Pepperoncini & Olives as the Condiments.  Everyone is in a Good Mood, even those of us who aren't that Into Football.  *LOL*  A Buffet Spread brings out the Best in everyone around here.  *Winks and Smiles*

There's a lot on the Floor in the Livingroom near the Mantle right now coz we had to clear off the little Table it was all on in order to set up the Buffet Spread.  But, The Grandson was in a Good enuf Mood to agree to be Photographed {Rare} so I wanted to take advantage of getting some nice Pixs taken.   He got dressed up Pretty for Superbowl and is climbing out of the Emotional Funk of a pending Divorce that is inevitable.  It's always hard when Relationships End, any of them.

I actually got Three of the Street Taco Kits on Sale, so we'll have enuf for 18 Tacos.  All the Grocers were super busy and most folks seemed to be Buying for the Game judging by what I saw in Carts.  *Smiles*  All the Grocers had good Sale for it going on, I got 12 Pacs of Sodas for Buy 3 get 3 Free.   The Daughter is Grooming Amber's Dog again, she gets Paid for Washing, giving him a Haircut and Pedi, and he feels Pretty after she's done, so it's adorbs to watch how much he primps afterwards, knowing he's lookin' good now. *Ha ha ha*  She Adores Animals and most Animals Adore her, which is why it pains her that Eli the Cat HATES her!  *LOL*

 

We don't know Why, but then again, Eli doesn't Like most Humans and barely Tolerates the Select few like me who are his Staff.  He only Adores HIS Human, Princess T.  He's nice to me becoz he knows he gets Groomed, Fed, Watered and I do play with him too to keep him from getting so Bored he tears up her stuff in the Room they Share.  *LOL*  He's been in a Good Mood Today too actually and is behaving.

The Two Above Pixs were taken at The White Tanks County Park Yesterday when The Man and I went there.  Nobody litters there but they don't Recycle either so we glean Aluminum from the receptacles so there's less Landfill bound.   Lots of people drinking and Picnicking, Horse Riding, Biking, Hiking and such, so we got a lot of Aluminum to Recycle from there.  The Weather was so perfect, about 80 Degrees most of the Day, Today, for Superbowl Sunday it's around 83 predicted for all Day too.

I went out and did some Environmental Cleanup by myself, The Man hadn't been Well enuf all day to join me.  There were a LOT of Cans, lotsa drinking going on during Superbowl Sunday, which, is what I expected.  I stopped at "Food City" on the way Home, a Hispanic Grocery Chain, to bring Home more to eat for the Game, some Flame Grilled Chicken, which was excellent, some Flan, also excellent, some Chips & Salsa.   I watched some of the Super Bowl with the Kiddos and all of the Halftime Show with Bad Bunny.   We all liked the Halftime Show but felt the Commercials this Year were lackluster for the Superbowl.  Usually the Commercials are Clever, they tried too hard this Year to be Clever and it fell flat IMO. 

I didn't feel good by later Afternoon so didn't finish watching the Game with the Kids.  The Man wanted to watch it off and on too, he mostly watched his NCIS reruns, the Seahawks and Patriots aren't his Teams of preference so he wasn't that Into it to keep it on the Channel in the Bedroom, where he sequestered himself.  He's not been feeling like being interactive with Family and was being rather cranky all day coz he was having trouble with his mobility too.  He said his Legs aren't working good so we've got to bring that to the attention of his Nurse and Doc too, along with The Fall that happened.  I still think he may have had a Mini Stroke and that's why he actually fell?  And now is having trouble with his Legs working well?  He's acting more confused and more irritable too.

 

That's primarily why I went out by myself for a while, to catch a break from him.  The Son said his Dad kept looking for me even tho' they told him I'd gone out to do "Errands" for the Superbowl Meal.  They kept it at that explanation, which he accepted, and he can't Track Time anymore, so he kept asking them where I was and didn't really know how long I had been gone.   They made sure he was fed and kept Safe, that's all anyone can do for him really.  The Niece Alex did finally call me about her Mom, her challenges, and who she's upset with.  The conversation didn't Track like I expected it would so quite a bit of the Drama was unexpected and involved some of her Mom's Friends who came down to see her Mom and try to be of Help.  One, all the way from Oregon to Texas, and the visit apparently didn't go Well.  *Le Sigh*

I had an Opinion about it all but kept it all to myself, I was available to just Listen and have her Feel Heard, which I'd decided should be the Purpose to the Call.  Not to try to solve all the Relationship Issues both my Friend and her Youngest Daughter are having with everyone else, both Family and Friends.  I do think perhaps The Niece has unrealistic expectations, being Young, of what people who visit can Help with or even should.  I think Medicaid is providing a Home Hospice Nurse and perhaps she should be utilizing that Service and Person more to do the more personal things for her Mom, like Bathing and changing Bedding.  Rather than the expectation that a Family Friend would even be comfortable doing it and expected to want to do it, or feel it appropriate to do it?

I've been a Caregiver to numerous Family Members for Decades now, so I have a lot of Experience Caregiving.  Male and Female Family, Young, Middle Aged and Old Family Members, in various Points of Need and difficulty of Extreme Caregiving.  There are some things I'd never ask or expect a Family Friend to do for them on my behalf.   Or, if I was traveling to go see this Friend from Arizona to Texas, what I would even offer to do in spite of my Experience, becoz I wouldn't feel it was something I'd be comfortable doing or skilled enuf to do well.   I wouldn't want, nor should anyone Visiting, be adding to burdens rather than being Helpful.  If it becomes Drama and a Headache, even unintentionally, it's not being Helpful.  Emotions can run very Raw with the overburdened and overwhelmed Caregiver and with who they are Caring for.

 I think Friends could be expected to keep the Person Company for you so you get some respites and Visit with them, Socializing.  Preparing a Meal, doing their Hair or Nails, helping make sure they got their Meds on Time, taking them to Appointments.  Mebbe even doing some light Housekeeping for you if they Volunteered to or help with your Kiddos if you're juggling Caregiving with Parenting.   I know my Loved Ones requiring some Caregiving might not feel comfortable with just anyone assisting with the more intimate Needs other than a Nurse or a very close Family Member, mebbe even of a certain Gender, helping with that.  I did follow-up with a Private Message via FB to the Niece outlining some Caregiver suggestions that I thought might be Helpful and she can at least consider.

One Family Friend of her Mom's came all the way from Oregon to Texas and the visit had not gone Well at all and caused more Drama and a Headache than being Helpful.  It wouldn't Track IMO for anyone to make a Pilgrimage that far and not have the best of Intentions and I happen to know this Woman from Years ago, long History with any Family and you get to know a lot of their other closer Friends and extended Family.  So, when The Niece vented about the Visit, I could tell it was being told from her perspective, which, may have not been realistic.  This Woman is Older and been one of her Mom's BFF's as long as I have been.  If she Traveled from Oregon to see our Friend, that was Sacrificial to her.  But she butted Heads with our Friend's Caregiving Daughter, which wasn't Good.  You have to stay in your own Lane.

I just think Lynn overstepped Boundaries and ran interference, thinking she was being Helpful with our Friend, and with The Daughter's Children, and my Niece took Offense with it becoz it is her Home and her Family?  It happens, I've had Friends come and stay with us that are LIKE Family and forget they aren't, and stray out of their Lane with your Home or your Family.  Lynn presuming to take over wasn't received well, not with the Kids, the Home, or even with what was the Point of the Trip, to see her Dying long time Friend and try to be Helpful as much as she was capable of being and comfortable being.   So, I've had that happen with Houseguests who feel so comfortable they forget it's YOUR Home and YOUR Family, but it's usually not intentional to cause conflict.  I told her it's my subjective perspective she could consider.

There was a LOT to unpack in that conversation and it was mostly just allowing her to Talk about it and me Listen during the Call.  I do Hope that what I offered, based on what I'd heard so far, in a PM that was very measured with my Words, would be somewhat Helpful and put a different perspective to what transpired?  I don't want her getting Caregiver Burnout before her Mother Passes, coz she's apparently all her Mom has got at this juncture and she may be running people off, including Siblings, by not Receiving well what anyone is trying to do, or doesn't want to do???  It's a delicate and complex Balance when things are very difficult, not everyone behaves as we think they should, or Hope they would.

Anyway, I'll wait and see how she receives the PM first and if she responds to it, before Calling again.  I don't do Phone Calls well with anyone, Hate talking by Phone.  Much more adept at Writing or Talking in Person.  Plus, my Phone is acting up after one of the Kids dropped and broke it, so isn't holding a Charge worth a damn and often cuts off mid conversation now if the Call is lengthy.  And that one went Long, much longer than I really was prepared to receive and going in the direction that it did.  It had less to do with Caregiving and her Mom's Condition, much more to do with other Relationship dynamics the Niece is finding problematic with other people... Family, her Mom's Friends, her own Friends... it just sounded like a lot of Drama and a Headache to me actually that isn't necessary and could be avoided.

I must say that tho' this Family is near and dear to us, we've always known they are like Drama Magnets and I did mention that to The Niece.  She claims she's no longer prone to Drama now she's Older, but, I think the Verdict is still Out on that one.  She might think she isn't, but, it sounded to me like not much has changed with all of them and it's constant Drama and a Headache.  They all know, the whole Family, that I'm a Drama Free Mama and anyone that even Smells like Drama and a Headache, I limit my exposure to.  I've even had to with them from time to time when it all became too much and they all were embroiled in so much Drama it was unhealthy to be any part of it, even from afar.  Nope, not engaging with all that nonsense.  *LOL* 

 They all know that once you become Drama and/or a Headache, Peace Out.  I'll come back once you Get Over the Dramatic Performances and can once again Get Along And Play Well With Others.  What I have Learned about folks who thrive on constant Drama, most of which they cause or invent themselves, if they don't have any going on, is that it just never Ends well.   It fucks up their Relationships, their Quality of Life, and disturbs everyone's Peace, which is too Precious to allow anyone to do that to YOURS.  I Guard my Peace and my Calm carefully, I don't allow anyone to Steal it from me.  Becoz I know that without my Peace and/or my Calm, Dark Dawn will become Dominant and then you won't be Dealing with Dawn Of The Light anymore.  That's never good for anyone else.  *Winks*

Anyway, it sounded more like Lynn came down from Oregon to spend Quality Time with her Lifelong Friend whose Dying, and not to step in and be a Home Nurse or Housekeeper.   And I don't know what condition the Home is/was in?   I do know my Niece has never been much of a Domestic Goddess tho' and struggles on a Good Day, coz she's got Mental Illness and Health Issues too, and Three Young Kids, and her Husband Travels for Work, and now she's Full Time Extreme Caregiving, so, it's a LOT.  I do know some of the House Guests might have had concerns that things have already becoming overwhelming and deferred to a point of legitimate concern, I dunno?

  Saying something, doing something, or just running interference during a difficult time wouldn't be the best tactic tho' even with the best of Intentions.  Not everyone Lives as we Live either, even when things are going Swell.  And The Niece dropped some info I was Surprised to hear and won't Blog about, but Concerned me.  She's in over her Head.  Her Mom always Helped with that struggle.  As you do with your Special Needs Child(ren).   And I don't know how much Help they're being Qualified to even Receive?  Sometimes The Cavalry ain't coming and it all is Too Much and In over your Head Deep.  Even if you don't have Special Needs yourself to overcome in order to do it without any Help.  That's what I worry about most with my Crew here when I'm Gone.  They all got Special Needs, and the Cavalry ain't coming, ever.  I have to try to Prepare them for that inevitable Reality.

I know her Mom Living with her for Years now has been a Present Help with the Housekeeping and the Kiddos, so now my Friend is Sick and Dying, she hasn't been the one to be able to keep on top of all of that.  She is a Special Needs Child, always has been.  Perhaps her Daughter became too dependent upon that Help and now expects others to stand in the place her Mom offered Help, which, isn't a Realistic expectation either.   Your Home, your Family, is YOUR Responsibility, it's not the Responsibility of other folks.  Nor should it be. 

 So, I dunno, I think she may run off anyone who could or would try to Help, but isn't gonna be exploited to do more than they should either.  So, that's a tough conversation to have with someone who may not Receive the Facts or the Truth very well?   And have more perspective on mebbe WHY her Siblings have stayed away too?  They don't wanna Deal with Conflict between them all AND their Mom Dying.  And their Mom has been SMI all her Life, so, a little bit of my Friend can go a very long way even when she's Physically Well, let alone Dying!!!   And I don't know if she can be on her Cancer Meds AND her strong Psyche Meds or not?  And she tends to Double Dose, so I'm sure they have to watch her like a Hawk coz she has had a History of Substance Abuse "Self Medicating" for a very long time off and on.  And what the Docs administer to The Dying can be intentionally overdosing near The End IMO to Speed things along.

 And just coz you're Dying doesn't mean your Mental Illness goes away, it doesn't.  So, it's just a layered Hot Mess of Physical and Mental Disabilities and Illness combined now.   And to be Fair, my Friend and her Daughter got on the MAGA Crazy Train that left the Station in 2016 and so a LOT of their Friends fell away over it... or distanced themselves coz it always got Politically Insane with them.  You had Crazy aligning with Crazier, it was a LOT.  They often didn't talk to me either over it and contact waned becoz of it.  I can't Take "Cult Crazy" when it's deranged and you're Morally Opposed to what they're Buying into, coz it transcends Politics and goes to Plain Decency now becoming compromised.   And it has destroyed some Families, it really has.

The Young Prince had actually Nailed It even before the Call by telling me he could understand why his 'Cousin' was having the Problems and Drama with Family and it doesn't Surprise him in the least.  He's known this Family ALL his Life and spent a LOT of Time with them all.  She's the Youngest, was always treated like her Mom's Favorite, and from The Young Prince's perspective, that will cause problems at all levels when a Parent and a Sibling then need some Help and there has been Favoritism shown in the Past and the Present.  He's Right about that, and unfortunately many Families do struggle with Favoritism being shown and the consequences.  Its Natural to have everyone, even in Families, have their personalities and dynamic that we either do well with, or don't do well with.  And have that play out becoz it's just easier for all of us to get along better with some folks and not as well with others, whether they're Family or not.

She wants me to Call her Mom and gave me her Mom's new Phone Number.  Her Mom had quit Calling me some time ago, she's like that Sister you sometimes have a hard time with becoz they're being controversial and you're not having it.  My Friend can be like that, she's always been like that.  I Love her Unconditionally, but have Conditions on her Behavior and know it's Negatively impacted sometimes by her Mental Health and screwy leanings, she likes controversy and Drama, so, I can see why MAGA provided that constantly, like being at the Circus, for some folks it's like Entertainment.  Bad Cheesy Reality TV Entertainment, but, hey that's popular in some Circles.  She really latched onto Donnie Two Dolls, but she's Nuts, so, I can't say it Surprised me... I think she Likes his Drama and Insanity, becoz, it seems a bit Normal to her?  It isn't, I told her it isn't, so she quit calling me until she got very Sick, then her Kids have reached out to me, as they always have. 

  Aunt Dawn, you have to talk to our Mom... and be a Mediator, and the Voice of Reason so, I have TRIED, out of genuine Love for her and her Family.  She can be difficult tho', and Unlovely when she wants to NOT be Nice, so, don't know how this next Call will go?  It could go either way.  She's Dying so has NO shits or fucks left to give about Diplomacy.  *Bwahahaha*  I can Take it, but, I don't know how Helpful Calling her will be, or not be, and I don't want for her to endure more than she already has and is, Cancer is a brutal way to go out.  And my Friend is Tough, but, this is so hard for her to go thru with Dignity and Grace intact and she's done very well to thus far I think, Bless her.  If she wants to get Mean Spirited, I can endure that if it makes her Feel any better to project it upon whoever, and I'm "It" at the Moment.  Often it Feels Safe for someone to Project their Anger about Life, upon someone they know won't totally forsake them at their lowest low.

 I'm not sure of what they expect me to say, but, I do Care, my Friend knows that about me.   I keep it Real and 100%.   I've been Ride or Die our whole Friendship, especially during Crisis, and she has with me as well.  We got some Stories that you just wouldn't Believe, Novella worthy ones!!!    So, mebbe the Call could go Well... or NOT?   I'll really TRY, on my part, to just let her Vent if she Needs to and not respond to it or take any of it Personally.  Apparently Lynn couldn't.   Lynn got Mouthy... and THOUGHT she had Control of that Situation... Big Mistake...

 And got punched in the Face, or so I'm told!!!  Ruh Roh.  *Insert inappropriate Gallow's Humor coz what WAS Lynn Thinking?*  But, I know Lynn too, Lynn can be a Ratchet Bitch, and has a snarky Mouth on her, which is why she was never MY Friend, but just THEIR Family Friend.   We didn't much Like Lynn, but she was close to my Friend so I tolerated her... and resisted punching her in the Face myself... which often took Restraint.  *Bwahahahaha*  And, furthermore, I've been with that Family when they go Sideways Mentally, and I know when to Exit Stage Left and just tell them, Peace Out, I don't Need this shit.  Call me when ya'll ain't going Mental Okay?  Coz we're all Stocked Up on Crazy at MY House, so I don't NEED to be here at Yours Dealing with it.  *Winks*

 Alex, at the Age of Two, was already Bat Shit Crazy, she once took a BBQ Fork to The Daughter, who was the only one Crazy enuf to ever Babysit her, besides me, and backed her into a Corner with it!!!   The Daughter had me on Speed Dial, coz she knew how Alex could be, the Child was a Step away from Institutionalization always.  But, so was The Daughter, so they were rather Equally Matched frankly.  But, I had to get on the Phone and tell Alex, don't make your Aunt Dawn come over and handle this, behave for your Cousin and don't make her have to Call me again!!!   Coz if your Uncle and I have to come over there, we will NOT be Happy.   Remember how Aunt Dawn Unhappy LOOKS?  *Winks*

  And, don't you DARE Stab her with that Fork, you Hear me, remember, she's Aunt Dawn's "Baby" and she's doing your Mom a Favor by even Babysitting your Crazy Lil Ass, so put that Fork Down NOW!   Problem Solved.  *Ha ha ha*   The Daughter still likes to tell that Story to this day.  *Ha ha ha*   Alex never wanted Dark Aunt Dawn to Show Up and have to sort Shit out.   Dark Aunt Dawn don't Play, all my Friend's Kiddos knew that Fact, so did my Friend.  *Winks*  But, I have seen THAT Family at their Craziest, it's some Wild Stuff and not for the Faint of Heart.  If you can't Hang, best to stay away completely is my Best Advice.  And so, no Surprise many just have, or it could get Messy.

 So, Alex always confesses to her Aunt Dawn when she's gone Mental on someone.  Lynn got punched in the Face.  Apparently she strayed out of her Lane and Triggered Alex and my Friend, then got Mouthy, which, Lynn does.  *Le Sigh, Not Wise, Ruh Roh, End of Visit from Oregon.*  To say it didn't Go Well would be an Understatement.  But, Crazy Folk be doing Crazy Shit, what can I say, you don't get Confrontational with them without Consequences.  A Mentally Unwell Person under tremendous Stressors can be quite volatile.

 So, I did remind Alex that punching Folk in the Face is Frowned Upon and she doesn't Need right now, to catch Charges or end up in Psyche Lockdown.  You don't have to remind Non-Crazy People of that Fact, but it's often Wise to remind The Crazy of it from time to time.  Her Mom and her Three Kids Need her to Stay Centered and Stoic/Calm.   So, Dial it Back, Calm Down, don't be Reactive... even when someone is being Not at all Helpful or even may be causing Drama right now that she certainly does not Need on top of everything else.

*******

Life can be complicated to an extreme... Dawn... The Bohemian