Whatever Real Life Is Dishing Out

 The problem with long luxurious Midafternoon Naps is then I'm up in the wee Hours of the Morning wide Awake.  My Sleep Cycle gets all messed up, but, I'm actually not minding it so much.  Siestas when it's the Hottest is the best time to escape the Heat of the Day.  The wee Hours is Cooler and most pleasant in Summertime, and Quieter.  Everyone is Asleep and Traffic is grinded to a halt, so there's blissful Silence.  My Escapism is different than each Member of the Family, The Son Drinks, The Man watches Mindless TV, Princess T is on TikTok or Instagram, The Daughter takes off with Friends, The Young Prince does his Art, I Blog or go out in Nature.  To each their own Escape from whatever Real Life is dishing out that isn't great. 

I recently found out, thru catching up with Blog Reads, that a Blog Friend in Washington State, Blog is ALLISON'S POST WORK THINKING, the Spokane area, has been Evacuated for Three Days due to the Fires!  I can't even Imagine those Stress Levels during a Catastrophic Event involving what we all know is being caused by Climate Change.  I suppose we'll all be Dealing with it more and more, but when it Touches the Lives of those we already know, it becomes less abstract or distant and a lot more Real in a tangible way.  For now their Home has been spared, but a very close call since much around them was Lost to the Fires and things are still dire and in Evacuation Mode.  So the dangers aren't over.  And I really Hope and Pray that soon they are allowed back Home to Deal with the aftermath instead of being in a suspended exile.

My Family doesn't like to Talk about Bad News or Hear about it, so mostly I Blog about it.  Their saturation point for Negative News is super low and they can't handle it.  The Reality is too scary for a lot of folks, so they refuse to be informed and go about their days as if all is Right with the World.  I don't know really if that's a good thing or a bad thing frankly, I guess it depends on each individual's capacity to handle whatever is Negative.  If they don't handle it well then they prefer avoidance and just not Hearing about it either.  Sometimes I do Need to Talk about the Serious Stuff somewhere, here tends to be the Ideal spot to for me.  The Fluff of Life is Fun, but Life can't be all Fluff and no Substance.   And avoiding or evading Problems will Solve none of them.

 I did get a lot done Today since Yesterday I'd avoided doing much.  I got my Aluminum Cans Recycled, 13 lbs. worth this time.  I did some Environmental Cleanup at the Nature Preserve, it was deserted and the day was very overcast with lots of Smoke coz there's a big Fire burning Southside and the Smoke is hanging like a London Fog.  There's Storms coming with high Winds, so I do Hope they get that Fire contained before Winds pick up and spread it rapidly?   The Southside Fire was Wind driven already and burnt down Three Buildings, Power Poles, Trees and a lot of Brush.  Luckily the Buildings were Vacant so nobody was displaced or hurt.   I've re-written this Post Three times already coz I had been more than a bit Ranty.  It didn't Read well and was super Bitchy, so I just kept deleting and starting over, thrice.  *LOL*

I got a lot of Inventory Priced and into the Antique Mall Spaces, my Showroom was messy, but I'd ended last Pay Period well enuf to get a Check, when a lot of Vendors did not.  *Whew*  This Pay Period flatlined from The Jump, no Sales for the 1st Two Days of it and usually Sundays we do well.  I guess everyone is spending their Money on Back To School Supplies and Costs, coz the Kidlets are all in School again now.  So, Traffic around the Schools is Nightmarish 'til they get used to dropping them off and picking them up again.   

I got Take-Out for Dinner... Mongolian Beef with Steamed Rice & Spring Roll for Princess T from DRAGON GARDEN Chinese Restaurant nearby.  And Salvadorian Pupusas for the rest of us.  One kind of Pupusa is the Loroco Flower and Cheese, which I like, the other kind I got has Pork, Cheese and Beans.  The Owner of the Restaurant, CRISTINA'S SALVADOREAN FOOD, which is nearby the Chinese Restaurant very near our Home, is owned by a very nice Family that lives here in our Mini Farms Community.  When they do Yard Sales they make the Pupusas and Sell them in the Front Yard too.  So, that's your Food Porn for Today.  You're Welcome.  *Winks*  

There's not a lot of Salvadorean Restaurants, so I'm Lucky we have one so close by.  I like their Fried Plantains too, which they serve with Crema, and they have distinctive Tamales as well.  They even have Plantain Empanadas.  And Yucca and Cassava Fries.  My Friend Arleene at the D.A.'s Office was from El Salvador and turned me on to her Native Cuisine Years ago.  I can understand the Spanish spoken in El Salvador easier and follow it better becoz they have a moderate Speaking pace, clear vowel sounds, and a less compressed cadence.   When I learned my Spanish it was from a Native of Madrid, Spain, when we were Stationed in Europe, so was Castilian Spanish, which has a lot less Slang than Spanish spoken in Mexico or Puerto Rico.  

One of my Native American Cousins spoke fluent Spanish coz her Dad, who my Dad's Younger Sister Married, was from the Canary Islands.   But my Cousin turned out looking full Native American, tho' many people often mistook her as being Eskimo or Inuit, and I can see why.  Her Dad was a unique Ethnic Blend found on the Canary Islands of Indigenous mixed with Spaniard and North African.  He Died quite Young, only in his 40's or so, and so my Aunt went to live with my Dad after she was Widowed, until the day she Died.  So we became quite close with that Aunt and my Kiddos got to know her well and The Son Adored his Aunt Gil.  She took him to his first Professional Baseball Game and her Boss gave them his VIP Seats, since, by then, my Aunt knew she was Dying and had worked for that Company many Years, even while battling Cancer.  She was Tough as Old Boots, all the Women in Dad's Family are!

Anyway, back to Today... I spent half the time tidying up the Showroom coz folks had been so messy.  I don't know why people are messy when they shop, I've never done that in my whole Life!   Got everything into Inventory quickly tho' and didn't get distracted by folks wanting to Socialize.  Some days I'm up for that and some days I just have too much to do, or am not in the Mood for being interrupted when I'm trying to Work my Spaces without distractions.   My Vendor Friends Bryant and Jeff were there so I did say Hey to them briefly, they were working the 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Tuesday Morning Shift.   I've got a Friday Night Shift that is a Weird one this Week that they've asked me to Work and I accepted, it's 4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., the usual Night Shift is 5:00 to 9:00, so I didn't even know they had a 5 Hour Shift anyone usually has?  Usually anyone coming in at 4:00 leaves at 8:00.

I will now get on with The Fluff of Life, I bought some Living Sweet Basil, Mozzarella Ciliegine Balls, and Grape Tomatoes to make a Caprese Salad Tomorrow.   I'm the only one that eats it, but, whatever...   Getting them to eat Healthy can be a particular challenge sometimes, you'd think it was a form of torture to eat Healthy the way they act about it.   So I just make what I wanna eat that's Healthy and they can then fend for themselves with unhealthier fare for all I Care.  They're all Grown and they know where the Kitchen is at.  I think Healthy Foods are a thing of Beauty to behold too, most Junk Food and Fast Food just isn't to me.  When I get Cravings it's for the most basic Healthy Real Foods, not crap.  The Man laments sometimes that I have always liked Healthier Food coz I think he'd eat like an Unsupervised Child most of the time otherwise.  *Le Sigh*

And when I picked The Granddaughter up at Work I spent too much coz they had some Killer Merch Today that I couldn't pass up, since, it was also Senior Day Discount.  Everything was at great prices, but I bought a lot.  I got 2 sizes of Three Vintage Rubber Gumbys, Regular and Extra Large, and a Regular size Pokey, they're Keepers for my own Collection, coz I have Mini Gumby and Pokey already.  I got a Bagged Lot of LPS, which Sell very well and are hard to Source now.  I got Three Bagged Lots of those Mini Foods, which is handy coz I'd just about Sold Out at the Antique Mall of them, they Sell very well also and are hard to Source too and a Hot Collectible right now.  I got some Tarot Cards.  A Specialty Tote.  Some Capris, Cool Graphics Shirts and a New Old Stock Bra for myself.  An articulated Wooden Art Doll.  {Not all I bothered to Photograph, but some of my Haul is Pictured Below}

 A Pokemon Blanket, which will Sell easily and quickly, the last one I got didn't stay in Stock an Hour before it Sold.  A Steak Knife Vintage Set that are Stainless Steel and the Handles are Antler Bone, those are Keepers.   I got a SCREAM Face Messenger Bag Sized Purse {Keeper}.  I got a Spoon Pendant Necklace with Pink Bling Cancer Ribbon Brooch attached to it {Keeper}.   Some of the Shirts that don't fit me I'll Resell, like the one Below, great Graphics, but only a Size L, also the Bad Bunny Hoodie should easily Sell, it's an XL but it's in that Nylon Material I don't like touching my Skin {I swear I have Autism coz some Textures Freak me Out}.  I got some multi-colored Non-Breakable Neon Christmas Tree Ball Ornaments in Two Bagged Lots, enuf to Decorate this Year's Christmas Tree with a Bold Multi-Colored Neon Theme.  And I bought some Brand Name Clothes that Princess T wanted.  It was a bigger than usual Haul.

The SAVAGE Shirt Above I'm showing Front & Back

But at a Chazza you can't Waffle coz it likely won't be there long if you do and then you'll have Non-Buyer's Remorse.  Just Re-Selling what I bought that I'll be taking in to the Antique Mall that is an Easy Quick Turn with great Margins, I'll more than Quadruple my Money/Investment and then all of what I Kept will be Free to me and Princess T too.  Specialty T-Shirts & Hoodies Sell exceptionally well in our Showroom.  And the Small Hot Collectible Toys are a Fast Turn with great Margins.  When Sales are Flat, those things generally still Move and ensure the Rent gets Paid and I get at least some Profits even during the Summer Slump Months.  Once the Holidays are here things should pick up considerably.  Even tho' the Economy is rough, I think during the Holidays folks will still Buy.  And Serious Collectors always Buy whatever it is they Collect.  I'm Refining and Curating what I Sell too and I've noticed it makes a difference.

 

I am also not gonna turn down as many Shifts now that our Calendar isn't so full of other Obligations and Appointments non-stop.  The Comped Space Rent does help out a lot.  Plus, I do enjoy Working there and spending time at the Antique Mall with Co-Worker and Vendor Friends and the Customers.  It fills the Social Void you get when you're a Full Time Unpaid Caregiver coz that ends up being very Isolating.  Yes, we have 3 Generations living here and their Friends come by all of the time, but mine don't.  Most of my Inner Circle Moved Away and a great many have now Passed Away too.  I have found that once your Spouse becomes Seriously Disabled, especially with Cognitive Decline Brain Impairment Issues like TBI, Dementia, Communication and Social Barriers, it just makes folks too uncomfortable and it's awkward, so they don't come around as much anymore or invite you to join them as a Couple.  Sometimes I couldn't join in coz he doesn't have the capacity anymore for whatever it is either.

I'm much more Sociable when I'm Solo, coz The Man never has been a really Sociable Person by Nature anyway, he's very reclusive and very introverted.   He very Honestly wouldn't Care if he never had Contact with other People, he could be a proverbial Recluse if he was Single, or able to still Care for himself.  His Dream Retirement would be to go off into the Wilderness and Live off the Land with no People anywhere around.  That, clearly, wouldn't be mine and he knows this, I'm a City Gal and tho' I Love Nature, I don't want to be out in the middle of Nowhere, and as an Elderly Person, to me that is just risky and a bit Nuts.  It's 2026 and so I don't wanna live like it's 1826 Thank You.  Or around a bunch of Misfits who can't Handle being around Society and so Escape to live practically Feral and like Hermits.  Most Recluses I've ever met are some real Oddballs.  And I'm a self-professed Weirdo, so if I think you're Odd... you're REALLY fucking Odd!  *Winks & Laughs*

 This Pix was back when I had Mani's and Pedi's, before the Diabetes and when I still had my Corporate Lives and a really good Income... and I did a lot of Street Ministry Work with the Marginalized Populations in the worst parts of the City, my Church is a Street Ministry exclusively and goes into the Prisons, the Homeless Camps, works with all the Street People, to try to meet them at a Point of Need that Counts in their Lives and is Love in Action.   To me, if you profess to be a deeply Spiritual Person, of any Religion or Faith, whether Organized, Denominational, or Open and Non-Denominational, just Talking the Talk means absolutely Nothing to those in Need if there's no Action and Love behind it.  If you feel you should Preach the Gospel all day long on behalf of Who you Worship and Serve, I say only use Words if you have to.  *Winks*  Your Actions will Speak Louder than any Words which may ring Empty without a corresponding Action to them.

A Pix taken a little over a Decade ago of me and my Brother, when he was still Well enuf to Travel to Phoenix for Visits or to Cover Events as Media.  This was Pre-Dreadlock Years... I much prefer my Dreads and will never have my Hair any other way now to Death.  Anyway, I miss my Brother's Visits coz he and I are very close, always have been all our lives.   I can't Travel due to The Man's Fragile Condition and Health, he doesn't Travel well anymore and gets very agitated and disoriented easily now if things aren't familiar about his surroundings.  So this Show can't be taken on the Road.  And my Brother is just too Unwell now to Risk any Travel at all, his Docs don't even know Why he's still Alive, they Marvel that he's gone so far past all the Expiration Dates they've given him that they quit projecting when they think he would Die... coz, it was a long, long time ago he should have in their Opinions.  *LOL*  He's got 20% Heart Function now and the last Heart Surgery was a bust and did Nothing Positive, so it was a Wasted High Risk to put him thru. 

This is my Baltic Amber Rosary, but it's a Child Sized one so you can't wear it like a Necklace, which is what I often do with my Fancier Rosaries, coz it won't fit over an Adult Sized Head.  *LOL*  Rare to find an Amber Bead Rosary tho' so I hadda have it for my very large Rosary Collection, which is my Oldest Collection actually.  I'm not Catholic but I've always liked Catholic Religious items and I used to make Rosaries for Priest Friends to hand out on their Mission Field to those who couldn't afford a good Rosary.  In my Street Ministry Work Years I cultivated many Contacts with various Faiths, especially for the Food Ministry we did, and we all worked together in partnerships to provide Food for the Hungry, various Christian Faiths and Denominations or the various strictly Non-Denominational Churches, Buddhists, Jewish, and Ba'ha'i mostly.  In the Field, especially in South Phoenix, I did meet and talk with several Black Muslims, but they do their own thing independently.  The same with other Members of practicing Islam and Hinduism.  So I don't know anything about their Community Outreaches.

I got all my Small Collectible Toys I bought Today bagged up and ready to price.  I want to bring them all in either Tomorrow or Friday when I go in to Work my Shift.  The Smalls are the Bread & Butter there for sure, I'd prefer to Sell more of the really Good Stuff, but, folks just aren't willing to pay what it's worth right now coz Economically folks are mostly hurting and the cost of all Essentials has risen so much.  I've been paying Attention to the increase of things I Buy all of the time and it's really been a steep rise for most of them since this Administration took Office and he's so Clueless he thinks "Affordability" is a Hoax.  I don't think he even knows what the Word means?  When you are Born with a Silver Spoon in your Mouth and never had any lack, I doubt he's ever even had a Budget in his Life and why he blows thru Money so carelessly, recklessly and cavalierly.  He's Wasted more Money than probably anyone in History I can even think of.  And not just HIS Money, but other people's Money too.

Okay, so it's now a Wednesday and actually Cool outside and well below 100 at 7:30 a.m. anyway, Overcast, looking like a Storm is brewing and a Wind picking up early, we'll see.  Sometimes the Monsoon only looks imminent and then never materializes.  I have a big Bag of Inventory to take in and with it being so much Cooler I could and should go do some Environmental Cleanup out there but I feel rather Lazy and Unmotivated right now, battling that lethargy at the moment.  When I got Home from dropping the Grandchild off at Work, there were so many Wild Birds waiting for me on the Roof and in the Yard that it looked like an Alfred Hitchcock Horror Movie!!!  *LMAOROTF*  They currently seem to like the new Wild Bird Blend I got which has a lot of Sunflower Seeds and Dried Corn, with just a scant amount of the other Seed Blends, but, it was cheap and a big ole' Bag that might last longer, so, that's on their Menu 'til I'm more flush financially.  *Winks and Laughs*  They're Wild Birds, not Pets.  Tho' I do Spoil them, I ain't gonna Lie.  *LOL*

Last Night I stayed up Late watching a Documentary Style Program Investigating Paranormal Stuff and they were focusing on Skinwalkers and Shape Shifters.  I priced my Inventory while watching so that I was multi-tasking efficiently.  *Smiles*  My Dad's People won't even talk of Skinwalkers and Shape Shifters becoz they Fear them so much and have always been Believers of them and not Skeptics.  My Dad, when we were growing up, warned of them and said that most Non-Indigenous would call them by the Label of Werewolves.  My Mom's People also are very Superstitious so she never Questioned or Mocked any of Dad's Beliefs.   Becoz she had a slew of her own that weren't always Common to most American Belief Systems of the Paranormal, Spirit World, or Supernatural Events that cannot be Explained and are often Questioned or considered Mythical or Fabricated by Skeptics and Non-Believers.    

It was always Funny to me tho' how many Skeptics and Non-Believers would be the ones MOST Scared of her tho' and claim she was a Witch and Feared her Abilities.  Coz, frankly, I always felt, well, if you don't even Believe, then what'cha so Scared of then?  *Winks and Laughs*  Now things like UFO's, that many used to be so Skeptical of or Mock, are feeling rather foolish that even Governments, including ours, now verify that Yes, they not only exist, they always knew they did and have been Tracking it all for Decades and have verifiable Evidence of, not all of which has been released yet.   I knew they Existed since the early 1960's coz we saw our 1st one on Cape Cod in broad Daylight, in front of Thousands of Witnesses, come right up out of the fucking Atlantic Ocean!!!   And, I was here in Phoenix when The Phoenix Lights happened in Spring of 1997, saw it with my own Eyes, that incident was at Night and was Recorded with Video Recorders of that Era that some folks had.

Since then I've seen something very similar  to The Phoenix Lights during the Day, around Dusk, with The Man, over the White Tank Mountains very near Luke AFB, so I'm damned sure the Base probably Tracked it.   We pulled our Vehicle over off the Freeway we were driving on, and watched it for quite some time, it was enormous and had Lights on it.   I probably should have tried to take Pixs of it with my Phone and Camera, which I always have on me, but was so fascinated I didn't even think to and wouldn't know if the Quality would have been shit from the dim time of day at Dusk and how far from it we were?  I can't even get good Quality Pixs of things like Fireworks on the 4th of July with my Phone's Camera and my Old School Hand Held Camera when things are not well lit up and further away than right up close.

 

After I got the last of some Action Figures priced I decided it was too Hot and Humid to go to the Antique Mall early.  I'd rather wait 'til everyone is Home from Work, can watch The Man if he doesn't wanna be in Tow, and it's Dark and Cooler before going in.  I had some Indiana Jones and Renaissance Action Figures with all their Accessories, which should have good Margins and will have to go in the Locked Case.  Mostly coz Thieves tend to Steal not only the Figures, but sometimes just tear the Bag open to get at the Weaponry and Accessories, which is what gets Lost the most in folk's Collections of them or when their Kids play with it.  Whoever Donated this Bagged Lot had kept all the Weaponry and other Cute Accessories like Chalices, Crucifixes, Maps for the Treasures and Holy Grail Items, Helmets, Fabric Capes... really Cute and detailed.

  I think some of the Figures were from "Monty Python & The Holy Grail".  The rest were from "Indiana Jones".  None were new Old Stock in Original Packaging, they were loose but well taken Care of.  I got them as a big Bagged Lot cheaply at the SAVERS the Grandchild Works at and on Senior Discount Day, so even cheaper than cheap.  So, all the LPS, Action Figures and Mini Foods are now Bagged and Tagged for Individual Sale.  So my Stock will be good for the Smalls the Youngsters flock to our Spaces for.  They often tell me ours is one of their Favorite Showrooms and we do well at our Locked Case with the Riskier Loss Prevention Challenged or Higher Prices Smalls too.  In a Perfect World I could put them all in the Showroom and not worry about Loss Prevention Issues, sadly, General Public now is full of the Five Finger Discount Folks who Shoplift.  And our Criminal Justice System has no Justice for the Victims of Theft anymore it seems.

Most Cops act surly as Hell with Victims and Witnesses of Thefts these days as if it's not worth their Time or Effort to even Respond and try to catch the Thieves.  A Friend of mine who Specializes in Retro everything, had a Heist out of her Vehicle before a Show.  So she had about Five Grand worth of Retro Higher End Jewelry and Sterling Merch Stolen.  She reported it, felt the Cops didn't take it Seriously and just acted like it's the Cost of doing Business and just contact your Insurance.  Well, fast forward about a Month and she sees all her Stolen Items on "Offer Up"!! So she Photographs all the information the Cops would Need to make the Arrest, doing their Job FOR them basically, and they wouldn't do a damned thing!!!   She couldn't Believe how indifferent they were about  it, even given Identity and Location of the Criminals handed to them, practically on a Silver Platter... no Sting Operation, coz this could very well be a Professional Criminal Enterprise and Organized Crime Ring, not a One Off!?  And it was Grand Theft of Thousands of Dollars worth of Merchandise!!!  Not Petty Theft.

 They told her to contact the "Seller" slash Thief, and ask for her things back or see if she could Buy her own Stolen Stuff back in a Negotiation to Recover it!!!  OMG and WTF?!  Who would risk that and confront a Criminal, or even do that?!  Hey, you Stole all my Stuff, that's it, give it back... or better yet, let me Buy it back from you!   Fucking Hell!  I Kid you not, she was livid.  Needless to say, this kind of indifference by Law Enforcement makes Theft escalate and be profitable with no consequences.  And The Son said in all Retail now they tell their Employees NEVER to confront the Thieves, due to Liability and Safety Issues!  You don't know how aggressive when confronted a Criminal might be, or if they have a Weapon and would use it or Assault you.  And if the Cops will do nothing to Protect Victims, Employers don't want the Risk factors to prevent Loss of what they'll just have to Write Off and keep everyone Safest without escalation of a Crime.  Even tho' SAVERS has a Security Guard on Duty, Princess T often spots Shoplifting in Progress while she's Rolling Racks of Inventory out on the Sales Floor.

Anyway, it is a Pet Peeve of mine coz I've watched Thieves boldly and in plain sight just boost stuff now and casually walk out the Door knowing nobody is even gonna try to stop them in most Cases or Report it!  It's no Wonder then that Online Shopping is more competitive than owning a Shop coz at least then you don't have as many Security Issues to Deal with or as much Overhead Expenses either.   But then Porch Thieves and Semi Truck Pirates then become the Issue.  I like the Videos of folks rigging Boxes on their Porch with exploding Dyes and then putting it on Video Blast.  Or filling a Box with their Dog's Waste and having the Porch Pirates Steal a Box full of Shit, thinking they got something valuable.  Surprise Assholes!

*******

Sometimes the Victims have to Dish Out the form of Justice... Dawn... The Bohemian

Not Even Guardedly Optimistic Now About Our Chances

 Today, in Real Time as I'm creating this Post, it's a Monday the 3rd of August and the Social Security Caseworker had told me she'd be calling me to go over how many other Agencies and Mental Health Facilities The Young Prince has been seen by or Institutionalized in?  It's a Laundry List and I only Wish we'd been able to do all that when we initially went down in Person together and with all the Paperwork verifying it all, would have expedited the decision making process.  But, it's the Beaurocrazy and so what are ya gonna do?  Even Briana, the Caseworker, was perturbed her Co-Workers Downtown had given me Bad Information and been too Lazy to take all the Information she'd need and I had readily available right from Day No. One of the Application Process.  I personally think it's done Intentionally to delay or deny, but I didn't say so.

I got a Letter in the interim from Briana, but probably sent before she and I talked the first time, asking for it all in Writing, I will need to Confirm if that will be necessary now or not?  I do Hope she gives me accurate Information, I may just send it all in anyway, with Copies attached of all the Mental Health Paperwork I've kept on File, it will be a Fat Package and considerable Bedtime Reading for Briana.  *Winks*  From Age 7 to Age 25, it's a Big Fat File of dismal Diagnosis, grim Prognosis, and unsuccessful Treatments, Counseling and Therapist/Shrink Visits, sporadic Institutionalization thru Mental Illness Facilities for Youths and Adults, and Penal Mental Health Incarcerations and Court Decisions, for the most part.  Read it and Weep. 

 If it doesn't Move her to Approve him for Services and Benefits, I don't fucking know what will?   Welcome to America's Mental Health System and Social Services Determinations for the most Vulnerable and Unwell of our Society.   She sounds like a very Nice Young Caseworker, not sounding like she's yet on Burnout, so the Chances are better than usual I'd say for a preferable Outcome this time around?  If not I'll bury their Asses in Appeals and Bad PR coz I do Plan to be a real Pain in the Ass and go all Dark Dawn tenacious, fixated, relentless and Obsessed with making this my Mission in Life now to have this Problem go away and be Resolved in our Favor, if given Nothing left to Lose.  I can become laser Focused and Obsessed with a Fixation that has no Boundaries.  The Gloves will be Off and it'll be Cage Match Time to take Down any Opponents standing in my way as Barriers to my Goal.  My Loved Ones are worth whatever Sacrifices have to be made... Mine... or whoever else I have to Sacrifice to get what they Need?  *Winks*

The Young Prince assessed how it was going when we talked last and said, he really doesn't even think they'll require him to be here?  Tho' he will be if they insist, becoz he doubts they want to Meet either one of us in Person, up close?  If they've even Read our Case File?  He could be Right.  *Bwahahahaha*  I know DES, after they met me ONE Time in Person, with The G-Kid Force in Tow and Unmedicated, with given Nothing Left to Lose... always did our Recertifications after that by Phone.  Saying, Mrs. G., it's Okay, you don't have to come in anymore, we'll just review your Case with a Phone Call and Rubber Stamp that shit.   And so they did for as long as the Kiddos Qualified for the parsing out of minimal Services they provide to Kinship Placements who don't get Paid or Reimbursed for expenses like Foster Families would to have Wards Of The State being Supported by Kin instead of all on the State's Dime.  *Eye Roll*

Listen, I Saved the State of Arizona and the Federal Government a shit ton of Support and Services they never provided already for 45 Years Plus, with Seriously Disabled Loved Ones, so I'm fucking DONE now.  So, Forgive me for going Postal on anyone's Ass who gets Assigned to me and tries to delay or deny Services now.  While Billionaires and Career Criminals in the White House Sphere and their Cronies are allowed to Loot, Rape and Grift The System relentlessly 'til there's absolutely nothing left.  I'm not Playing, I will go to the Mat and that better be the Hill they're willing to risk their Career and mebbe even Die on?  I ain't got Nothing Left to Lose, so I no longer Care.  If they have much to Lose, then we'll both have Nothing Left to Lose by the time I'm finished.  Coz, I'm Generous, so let's just now share that 'Joy' I've been experiencing for Decades now, of Hopelessness and Despair then... Misery fucking LOVES Company, don'tcha know?  *Winks*  I'm getting ours while there's still some left.

Can you tell I'm gearing up for that Phone Call with Miss Briana and have the War Paint handy, just in case it does not go Well or in our Favor?  *LMAOROTF*  I have a large Tote Bag filled with his Paperwork, made a Short List for myself to go quickly over the Hilites in no particular Order:

Aurora Behavioral Health {Juvenile Institution for the Mentally Ill}

Valle del Sol {Shrink and Therapists, Meds}

Southwest Behavioral Health {Shrink and Therapists, Meds}

Adelante Healthcare {Mental Health Adult and Pediatrics}

St. Luke's Behavioral Health {Adult & Juvie Institution for the Mentally Ill}

Jewish Family Services {Shrink and Therapists, Meds}

Chicanos Por La Causa {Referrals, Advocacy for the Disabled and Specializing in Assistance to the Hispanic Community at Risk}

Ombudsman Education Services {Alternative School for Troubled Youth}

IEP's and various Alternative Schools for Troubled Youth in Three different Unified School Districts. 

 Until they finally ran out of places to pass him off to and deny him an Education due to the extent of his Disability and their Inability to find Placement that is remotely Suitable or could meet him at his Point of Need and not just Warehouse him like they do the Severely Developmentally Disabled Kids, some of which don't even know they're there.  So by and before his 15th Birthday, they'd ALL given up on him Academically even tho' he has a 148 IQ.  They tried to even place him in a Reform School coz it was the last option they said was left for "Kids Like Him", which was a very Broad Statement given he didn't have any Behavioral Issues and wasn't a Juvenile Delinquent ever, and wasn't on Court Ordered House Arrest like all the other Kids there.  It had Razor Wire on the Fences like a Prison and they called it Intake instead of Enrollment and all Doors were on Lockdown with Security Card Access or Exit, it was Horrific, Screams down the Hallways... we took a Hard Pass!  No way was I subjecting my Grandchild to that kind of Trauma, being touted and veiled as "Alternative Education" for Kids The System and Society discards!

Even the Warden/Principal and Facility Therapist said it was an inappropriate Placement so they didn't even know why we'd been sent there?   I do, nowhere else to send us, they'd passed him around like a Hot Potato for Years by then and even our CPS Caseworker was getting irritated and appalled with what he'd endured or punishments given him by School Officials.  At one Point, they said at an Administrative IEP Meeting, in front of my CPS Caseworker who came with me, that they withheld FOOD if he didn't "Act Appropriately"!!!   OMG, did they not realize that constitutes Child Abuse, Yes, she Reported it, Heads rolled, but at least we found out coz he hadn't told me for Fear I'd go down there on the Warpath and roll some Heads myself and catch Charges!

Of coarse at the last location he was sent to for Troubled Youth, he hacked their System to "Enhance" it coz they couldn't afford Enhancements and didn't get Grants to.  They lamented this fact in front of the Special Needs Students, which was irresponsibly Stupid.  So, he thought, well, I'll do 'em a Favor at No Charge and Surprise them.  Oh Boy were they ever Surprised!!!  *LOL*  By then we had a Federal Agent showing up and Administrators were shitting Kittens about it and banning him permanently from any Placement, saying he was a potential Threat to School Security.  What "Security", a 14 Year Old Special Needs Child in your Care was so Unsupervised he was able to do this and you didn't even know it?!  I was HOT they were Blaming him, a Child, and threatening us with the Feds!!!  

They claimed it would cost them Thousands to Fix what he'd Done and accessed Sensitive Information of the whole Student Body... with no Malice intended, he wasn't even 15 yet and thought he'd done a Good Thing.   So I made him Fix it in front of them, took him less than 5 Minutes at Zero Cost!!!   Yet, they Claimed he couldn't be "Taught" or "Educated"... go figure.  Actually he Scared them, I can tell.  When folks Fear something they always vilify it and don't want it around.  Remember in the Old Days when they Burned the Witches at the Stake coz everyone Feared the Witches more than they Feared the ones who would Burn another Human Being at the Stake?  Yeah, Society is often like THAT!!!   Grossly misplaced Fears about what is different or they don't understand or don't align themselves with by Societal Standards, whatever they may be at the Moment in Time.    Standards that shift constantly too.

Anyway, while waiting for the SSI Caseworker Call I Priced some Inventory here in our Bedroom, got a Box of Specialty and Band Vintage T-Shirts ready for the Showroom now.  Might go in later to stock them.  Still have to look up a bunch of Pokemon Cards, Labor Intensive but they Sell so well you have to take the Time to do it and price them properly.  Right now I'm focusing on the most desireable ones I know are worth more for sure, then look those up and price them.  I still have a lot of other Genre of Merch but right now don't have the Space for any of it until some clears out and gets Sold.  I do need to get around to going around the Showroom and thru the Locked Case to see what's malingered in Stock too long and either reduce the Price or Donate it to have the Space to put something Fresh.  Anything is only Worth what someone is willing and able to Pay for it.

I think why most Housing has become unaffordable is becoz Richer folk  who already Own Homes, and Multi-Billion Dollar Investors and Developers or Home Flippers, are Buying them up as Investment Vehicles.  Rather than leaving Modest Priced Homes for People who don't currently Own one.  The Government does need to make it so that some Affordable Housing is for Home Buyers who will live in them as their Primary Residence.  So, the Problem will never be Solved so long as Investment Vehicle Home Buying isn't controlled so they are preventing regular folks needing and wanting a Home to compete and be able to Buy them.  Most Homeowners need a Mortgage so simply can't compete with Cash Buyers who don't require a Loan or who have Corporate Funding coz they're so Wealthy they can get Loaned enormous amounts of Cash without the usual Qualifying and Requirements.  Today it's this and Tomorrow it could be something else.

I happen to know folks who are fortunate enuf to have a Primary Residence, a Vacation Residence, and own several other Investment Houses, and yet, don't have any compassion for someone who has None and cannot find Affordable Housing.  Mostly due to having absolutely no Point of Reference.  Since, when you've enjoyed such Privilege, it can often be completely unrelatable to you that Basic Shelter is a Need for some that is completely unattainable in Today's Economy.  That even Landlords are charging such outrageous Rents now that it isn't even Affordable for most people anymore, so they cannot even afford to Rent, let alone ever Own.   Even Seniors I know who are in Subsidized Senior Housing are having their Rents increased substantially every single Year without a Break.   And without regard to whether it will Price them Out of having Shelter or taking up all their Income for Housing and nothing left for any other Basic Needs like Food, Water, Utilities, Medical, Medicine, Transportation!

I just got notification from my Rx Provider, Express Scripts, which is thru our Military Retirement Provider and Insurer, that they're currently out of my Insulin Injectable so can't renew it right now.  Lucky for me I have enuf until HOPEFULLY they get it in for Auto Refill... we'll see how long it takes them to Stock it again?   Kinda Scary when Major Insurance Providers are running out of Life Saving Medications, whatssup with that?  The Bot began the Phone Call notifying me then auto transferred me to a Human Representative who was a very nice Young Woman and an American so it wasn't some outsourced Call Center in India or the Philippines with someone barely able to speak or understand my language.  *Whew*  I'm good with Accents, but if someone's grasp of the English Language is marginal and I don't speak or understand their Language, neither one of us is able to then properly communicate and resolve anything Customer Service related.

It's only Minutes before Noon now so I do Hope the SSI Caseworker Calls me on Time when she said she'd Reserved our Phone Call Time Today?  I just wanna get it over and done with so I can go about the rest of my Day and know that has been taken Care of.  One more thing crossed off the To Do Must Do List.   I need to go to the Antique Mall to drop off Merch and to the Recycle Center to drop off a Truck Bed full of Aluminum Bagged Cans.  One of the White hard plastic Bags had deteriorated so badly in the Heat we had to replace it already, they just either crack to pieces if they're a hard plastic and turn brittle, or melt if they're a soft plastic.  Coz 117 is the Daily regular Temp now and of coarse everything sitting around, and depending on how much Heat it holds and can withstand, gets Hotter.  Metal gets so Hot it can cause Serious Burns... as does the Ground, but especially Manmade Surfaces.

 

So I can't have those full Bags of Aluminum Cans sitting around more than a few Days or they Melt or fall to bits if they're the kind that go Brittle.   I could use the Cash they bring in too.  And my Punch Card is almost full and that will Earn me an extra Ten Bucks.  Every little bit helps.   I haven't ventured Outside much Today and am still in my Jammies.  The Son bought "Whataburger" for himself, The Man and I.  He forgot Princess T was Home but she's a fussy Eater so probably wouldn't want anything from there anyway since she's not familiar with it.   I had never had their Hamburgers or French Fries, both were decent, and, well, it was Free to me since The Son's Treat for us, so I can't complain.  *Smiles*  He was Jonesin' for some Green Chile Hamburger they have.  I had Coupons for what he got his Dad and I, so mine was actually Free to him too, it came as Comped Food for his Dad's Meal with the Coupon.

Okay, so Briana just called and lo and behold, she JUST FOUND OUT that Yeah, now they only require the last ONE Year of History!!!  So it was as much News to her as it had been to me, but she took down info I could provide of anything before that anyway, since, I can't provide much for when he lived in other States receiving Services.  I know in Arizona he hasn't Qualified to receive any coz it took Forever to even get him transferred onto AHCCCS Healthcare and Mental Healthcare for the Indigent and Seriously Mentally Ill... before that he had no Insurance and couldn't Pay for anything coz he has no Income either.  And only going back One Year for a Serious Lifetime Disability someone has had for almost 20 Years, seems Negligent and Lazy.  And I don't think Briana will last coz I think she Cares too much and will Burnout quickly working for Social Security Disability Determinations, I really do. I can tell the ones that will get so discouraged and overwhelmed that they Quit... I'd place Bets she'll be one of those.  No telling how his Case will go now, I'm not even Guardedly Optimistic now about our Chances.

  

Well, just Fuuuuuuck.  I don't even wanna Call our Grandson about it, I'll just wait until after his Birthday on the 8th, so it won't be spoiled with a Pessimistic Update.   I Hate now that either of us got a bit Hopeful.  Now I don't even Feel like getting dressed and going to the Antique Mall and the Recycle Center in 110+ Degree Heat of the Early Afternoon.  Coz I definitely don't wanna drive anywhere or be around People right now.  I don't Feel anything actually about it all... becoz it's so fucking predictable and Status Quo as to be expected.   It's like this Fake News Breaking now about how Donnie Two Dolls just Signed a Bill to HELP Military Families.  No, No he didn't, no HELP is actually coming or happening or even being considered.  They just FORMED A COMMISSION to discuss all the Issues Military Families Face, have Faced, for Generations of Service to Country now.  And why so many of them are among the Poor and require HELP in the first place and need to be on Civilian Social Service Programs.   

 And have Grievances that have been Heard over and over again but nothing Changes. They didn't Need to Form a fucking COMMISSION to find that out, any of us who've Served could and have fucking told them that FOR FREE.  And they've done nothing to Solve it, Nada, Zip.   Yawn.  Families Separated during Deployments where they can't bring their Families means you're now Supporting Two Households on an Income that even couldn't often Support One Household.  Depending on where you're Stationed, the Cost of Living can be High, Low, anywhere in between.  Pretty sure someone in the lowest Cost of Living States of Oklahoma, Mississippi and West Virginia have a lower Cost of being able to Live there than anyone in Hawaii, California and Massachusetts, the highest Cost of Living States. 

 Yet, if you're Military, your Salary doesn't change when they send you to live anywhere in the Country, or the World for that matter.  And a lot of other Countries have a higher Cost of Living than America... so, there ya have it... the Government has always fucking known this Fact that Military Families face... they're not "New".  Plus, most Military Spouse Dependents have to give up their Jobs or Careers in Support of their Military Spouse and that Career.  So, a great many are One Income Families by necessity, we were a rare Couple that I could still hold down and Keep my demanding Careers and made more Money than The Man did in his Military Service at his Top Rank.   So we were Fortunate that I could actually Support us even when the Military was making things difficult for us Financially.  And they did, often.  

 Even when The Man was Medically Retired involuntarily as a 100% Disabled Veteran, it took 18 Months for him to get his first Disability Check!  And I had to Lawyer Up to get it that "quickly" or it could have been longer, and we may not have gotten all the Back Pay they ended up Awarding him becoz our Attorney went Hard to get him everything he was Entitled to without getting Screwed Over.  He was unable to Work at any Job, so that would have been a Year and a Half with NO Income had it not been for mine Supporting us totally.   And he had a LOT of Medical Expenses the VA, and TriCare were not Covering and that's all the Insurance he had at the time coz he wasn't yet Old enuf for Medicare or to Collect Social Security either.  It's also Why I had to keep juggling a Demanding Career even as a Full Time Unpaid Caregiver for longer, so we'd have SOME Income until his Pensions and Disability Checks were coming in regularly enuf.  Imagine Families that couldn't or didn't.  What Losses they would incur?

I took a Nap that lasted 'til 6:29 p.m. so nothing got done, mebbe Tomorrow.  *LOL*  It was discouraging to wait all fucking Day for that Call that didn't get a damned thing accomplished.   The Prescription Fiasco Call about my Insulin being unavailable yielded better results.  Coz at least I MIGHT actually get it?!  *Ha ha ha*  Ah, well, I'm now having Microwaved French Fries from "Whataburger" that The Man didn't eat for his Lunch and calling it my Dinner.   What I've eaten Today is the Diet of a Young Child without Supervision.  *Bwahahahaha*  I forgot to tell you all about my Score of finding a Mrs. Santa large 1960's Era Thomas Dam Troll from Denmark for only $2.50 from the Downtown GOODWILL on Sunday that I got with everything else.  How could I forget to mention or Photograph her?!  *Gasp*  Well, better late than never, my Memory ain't so good or sharp anymore, so, it happens.

The only thing that wouldda been better is if they'd had Santa too, but I guess this Mrs. Claus Troll is either Widowed or a Divorcee coz he was nowhere in sight.  *LOL*   As you can see she's well over 10 Fiesta Ware Stacked Bowls high for Scale.  *Smiles*   Those were just some of the Colorful Score of those I got from The Granddaughter's SAVERS location recently along with a slew of the Colorful Mugs too.  It's been a Bonanza lately of things I Collect being at the Chazzas, Booyah!   I was having very Weird Nightmares while taking that Nap, so I was glad to Wake Up.  There was a big Flood but no Rain with it, more like Rivers overflowing, and we were living in a previous Property we Owned over 30 Years ago nearer the Agua Fria River, and it got up to the Windows of it and the whole Street was a raging River, of Dark turbulent Water, like the Flash Floods bring in Monsoon Season, and come up fast and dangerously unexpected, it was terrifying! 

 I climbed out a Window and only Princess T and The Man were Home and inside, so I had to get them up to the Roof too 'til we got rescued.  I'm assuming we did get rescued.  It was Weird to be in that Property in the Dream, coz that's the Property we lived in when her Mom, The Daughter, was Younger than she was in that Dream, that we lived there, about 10 Years Old in the Dream.  So, Princess T was 10 and never had lived there.  Yet, The Man and I were our Current Ages, which we never lived there when we were Old either.  So getting him at 74 and her at 10, up on that Roof, thru a smallish Window that was already partially submerged, was harrowing and just in time not to drown inside of the House coz the Doors were not gonna open with the Water being that high against them already.  Strange Dream, and we all stayed eerily very Calm and Unemotional thru it, but Flood Dreams generally mean you're overwhelmed by strong Emotions and are facing a loss of Control, usually going thru a Major Life Change.  Well, that would fucking Track, No?  *Bwahahahaha*

Stress, Anxiety and Grief in Real Life are too many Feelings and building up, feeling too hard to Manage and NOT Feel, which is my particular Coping Mechanism, NOT Feeling Emotions.  I do feel dragged down by current Problems and a flooded House generally means Personal or Family Issues are making you feel unsafe or invaded in your Private Life.  Yep, all Tracks pretty accurately I'd say.  The Subconscious Mind is a fascinating thing in how it manifests in the Dream World and I'm always assessing Nightmares or Dreams I Wake Up and can still remember vividly, which, isn't that often and is way different than a Premonition.  I can tell the difference coz Premonitions I know will happen, so they're much more alarming and I pay close Attention to.  Premotions take Action in Real Life when you're Given them.  Dreams and Nightmares are completely different experiences.  I know Premonitions are Warnings or Forewarnings that actually are gonna happen.  Dreams won't happen. This Flood won't happen in Real Life... just in the Dream World, which is Good.  *Ha ha ha* 

I haven't been able to find me a good 8" Porcelain Vintage Tudi Po Grandmother Earth Protection Statue yet, like this one that was on a local Altar during the Floods, but I did get a very nice Tu Di Gong Earth God Protector Husband Statue similar to the one Below that was on that Altar.   My Maternal Grandfather always had Chinese Altars, I didn't know enuf back then to recognize all of the Statuary of the Altars, I know more now.  These are Taoist.  And I align more with those Belief Systems than with Buddhism.  I used to think Gran-Gran was Raised Buddhist, by his Surrogate Chinese Parents who Raised him and Four of his Younger Siblings, while his Widowed Mom, of Didi Kai heritage {Mixed Romani, Didi Kai is a Slur Term, but I don't know how else to call it coz that's all the Welsh ever did}, anyway, she Raised her Older Six Children.   She still had contact with her Younger Five tho', but they lived less like the Welsh or Roma, and more like the Chinese. 

But the more I know about each Religion, I'm pretty sure he was Taoist.  Buddhism focuses on escaping suffering and reaching Enlightenment.  Taoism focuses on living in Harmony with the Natural Flow of the Universe, and Teachings of the Natural Order, the Tao.  This is why my Welsh Gran-Gran and my Native American Dad were always so very Close, similar Belief Systems and ways of Worship in so many ways.  Both had a Goal of living in Balance and Simplicity, going with the Flow of Nature rather than Fighting it.  Tho' Dad became a Christian and got Baptized in order to Marry our Mom, he never really strayed much from his Roots of Belief, which, I am more in Tune with myself even tho' I became a Christian too.  Some Belief Systems are just IN your Spirit Naturally and you don't have to Become, because you just Are.  I prefer living in Harmony with the Natural Flow of the Universe and in complete Harmony with Nature, it is so deep IN my Spirit Naturally, always has been there, that I couldn't NOT live that way, if that makes any Sense?  I wouldn't even know how to.

I don't know what became of this Altar, my Hope is that the original constructors of it took it Home after the Floods were over, and that Parks and Rec didn't just destroy it and throw it away?   No way to know, I would never disturb one myself.   My Tu Di Gong is pictured further Below and I won't make an Altar until I have his Wife, Tudi Po, with him.  You sometimes have to be patient to find the right Vintage or Antique Statuaries of various Religions.  I have Collected them for a very long time and they are among my Oldest Collections and the ones I rarely ever Resell.  I've given some away tho'.  That's more appropriate.  If something has been Blessed, I will not Sell it and it can't be Bought from me, but I will Give it as a Gift.  

  

 Anyway, still looking for Grandmother Earth, one day Tudi Po will show up to complete the Creation of that Home Altar.   Yes, you can Google to find anything For Sale, but I'm very particular about what Religious Statuary I Buy.   She has to be Porcelain, not Resin, she has to be 8" high like my Tu Di Gong, Gilded and a decent matching Mate for how he looks, like the Couple in the local Altar, which were perfectly paired.  I do trawl the Asian Grocers Religious Section often to see if they have her, she'd be a Modern Porcelain there tho', which would be acceptable if she was made by a Quality Producer of Altar Products, so far, no Luck.   And, to be Vintage or Antique, they can be extremely expensive too, so she has to be within my modest budget as well, which is a consideration.  I have found Antique versions of both, often Together, on E-Bay, and those are for Serious Collectors of Religious Antiquities and way out of my League as a Collector.   My Seller was out of Cali and quite reasonable for the Vintage Product in such good condition.

Oddly, SAVERS has had a lot of Vintage and Antique Good Quality Asian Religious Statuary recently and I have bought some of it, tho' not all of it.   Their Prices of coarse reflect that they have no idea how valuable the Donation was by the Donor.   My hunch is that their Pricers wouldn't even know what they were looking for to determine Value, unless they Google Lens it and I don't know they have the Time to do all of that with Donated Merchandise or Care enuf to, which is Fine with me as a Buyer.  *Winks*  You know what you know, and you don't know what you just don't know.  *Smiles and Winks*   Anyway, I'm not gonna waste all Day Tomorrow like Today got wasted.  

I never got out of my Jammies all Day Today.  *Ha ha ha*  But the long Rest from that Nap was probably needed and sometimes you just have to accept a Do Nothing Day.  The Son and Princess T were Home for much of the Day so they could look after The Man while I Slept.  I did get some Inventory Priced, but I never turned on the TV, never ate much, so it was almost a Fasting Day as well.  I got the Chores done around the House, which have to be done daily, and took Care of The Man's Needs, so... it's NOT Nothing really, but as close to Nothing as I can ever get.  *Bwahahaha*   If I could do absolutely Nothing, I don't know how I'd even handle that kind of Day?  *LMAO*  It would be so foreign to me I might not even feel comfortable with it and holding that Space of absolute Nothingness to Do?  *Smiles*

*******

There's always Something to Do, I'm just not always Doing it... Dawn... The Bohemian