Monday, July 16, 2018

Blogging Then... Blogging Now

I decided to dredge up some Imagery from the Past, when I first began Blogging back in 2010.   Wow, so much has changed when I think about Blogging then and Blogging now!   I am Technically Challenged and so my Grandson, then the tender age of 9, had to set everything up for me online and was even the one who told me about Blogs!   I had needed a Creative outlet for Writing and Photography, to Journal just anything and everything since Letter Writing had gone the way of the Dinosaurs.  I am quite sure I was one of the last of the Dinosaurs still Writing Letters in fact, until nobody was responding anymore in kind and I realized it had become an extinct method of communication!   So initially I began exclusively for myself, I had no idea I was connecting to a wonderful new community of Kindred Spirits!

Since I didn't expect Visitors or anyone to find my Blog except by accident, initially I didn't Share as many Images and it was more about the Journaling. The Written Word, like a Dairy of sorts gone Public via Social Media... a Letter to no-one and yet to anyone.   I wasn't so naive to be too transparent early on, because I was aware it was Public once it's in cyberspace and out here, not sure whose Eyes might absorb any of it?  I was a lot more guarded then, as you typically are when you are New anywhere and not willing to Share too much that is meaningful to you.  I was testing the waters, to see how safe a Land I had entered into?   I was really doing a lot of Staging back then when I did Share Imagery.  Conjuring up the Imagined Online Life you'd see splayed out in Magazines... not so Real that you'd really Live like that, except on the Canvas of your Imagination... what you'd Like it to look like all the time!  It was Fun, but Staging anything is just Playing really... it's not Life as most of us know it or Live it.

Having known people who have had their Lovely Homes featured in various popular Publications, I realized that Staging happens when the crews come in before the shoot to make it look the most Idyllic and Editorial for increased Sales of the Magazines.  So I suppose I was Playing at my own little obscure Publication and wanted to emulate what the Big Dogs do to make it look the most Appealing and Attractive.  *Smiles*  I like to Pretend and to Imagine, I think most Dreamers and Artistic Souls do... anything we're Creating is an extension of ourselves and is infused with our very Essence.   So I wasn't that interested in Keeping it Real at first, I wanted to explore the depths of my Online Imaginary Idyllic Life as portrayed here in The Land Of Blog.   I suspect many Bloggers did it, or still do it, otherwise everything wouldn't appear so Sanitized and Immaculate in the Homes and Imagery Shared.  I mean, I personally didn't find Blogs that showed their dirty laundry or the mess the Family makes.  Nobody really, with just a few exceptions, was Messy folk with a Messy Life in Blogland!  *Smiles*  What they did Share would be a tough act to follow if you really thought anyone actually Lived that Idyllically and Pristine!

And those Blogs were Mad Popular too, Wow the Supporters and Following they had was Impressive and sometimes Profitable too!   That's when I realized people do sometimes show up, tho' in the early days I still didn't expect people to show up much at mine, so no real metamorphosis to include other people was happening for a while yet.   I also realized Blogging could be Serious business and some took it quite Seriously and treated it as a legit business!  I decided I did not want a Biz Blog, or even be Topic Specific... though it could have made a passive income flow that probably could be Sweet.  I decided I didn't begin it that way or for those reasons so monetizing it wasn't anything I got into, not then, not now.  There are no Sponsors here since I felt as tho' then I'd be obligated to promote something or someone's agenda... so it just wasn't for me.   When I began to have a nice respectable group of Supporters and Followers I was told I should, I just didn't... this Space was to Feed my Soul, not to Sell it.   It also made me anxious when approached by Publications to do shoots in our Home or my Art Studio Cottage back in the day, it was flattering, but I knew what a Hot Mess it all was, our LIFE, behind the Lens and just out of Frame!  *LMAO*

And that's when I thought I really did Need to keep it 100% and keep it Real, because real folks were now Visiting regularly and I'm not much about being fake or having pretenses in Real Life, so why here?   Tho' I do still like to Imagine and conjure up some Fantasy Posts every now and again for Fun, now I began to talk about the difficult stuff of Life as well... the Real Issues of Life that all of us have yet few talk about candidly and with transparency.   It makes you vulnerable to be transparent about the uncomfortable stuff and how Real shit can get after all, so it did take some introspection to Go There at first.   How much should I or do I want to Share was the lingering question... how much of the Truth could people handle was also considered?  I didn't intend to be controversial, confrontational, political or scary about my opinion or views!  *Smiles*  Now that I'd made Blog Friends it wasn't as if I wanted to run them off in droves with the Difficult Read... especially if they came initially for a respite from Real Life.  To just enjoy a Positive Story or a Pretty Picture, so I was Mindful to keep those Topics alive and Well too.  To just do a disclaimer at the Get Go if it was going to be a Difficult Read Topic for any Post... the Sharing and Baring of the Heart instead of the Fluff of Life.

The Hook is always in the Post Title, and I Confess that I have baited... mostly for Fun, it's AMAZING to me how many of the most Popular Posts were the ones that drew folks in with the Title Hook Line!  *LOL*   I found that I should have always known that tho' everyone does Like the Fluff Posts... they are more Intrigued by the potentially Train Wreck ones!   Come on, you knew it too, everyone is drawn in by a good Train Wreck or scandalous Story and The Land Of Blog apparently is no different than Real Life that way... Bad News Sells, Good News not so much.   So the Bohemian Rant and Vent Posts were thus born, since I realized that I could be unfiltered with my transparency of some Issues and True Feelings without it being a Neg to my Blog and off-putting to my Readers!  In fact, I found that the more I kept it Real and 100%, the more people could respect it and truly relate or find Comfort and a camaraderie!  In those ways that are the Daily Struggles that can be Life and yet few talk about openly or admit to.   The more Helpful some uncomfortable and candid Topics actually could be when Secrecy was lifted and Reality Revealed, well, it was therapeutic in fact... to myself and others Visiting and with points of reference to whatever was being discussed.  

 I now began connecting not just to my fellow Junquers, Nomads and Decorating enthusiasts... but also to my fellow Caregivers, Grandparents raising Grandchildren, those with Loved Ones with significant Disabilities or Health Issues... and the Quirkier folks like myself who are rather Far Side in our general Aesthetic and Lifestyles!  *Winks*   Yes, I found that unlike Real Life where sometimes you don't meet so many who may be just like or anything like you... in The Land Of Blog you can more easily connect to the Kindred Spirit and those with identical or very similar points of reference in just Daily Living.  The Social aspect of Blogging became a very unexpected Bonus of doing this!  What was very surprising is how many people I met in Real Life who actually read and Followed my Blog and thus felt they already knew me enough to walk up and introduce themselves, which was Wonderful! 

 Every time I meet in person someone who knows me thru Blogging it is Amazing and it's as if we've always known one another and have so much in Common!  Even some now BFF's began as Blog Followers and then we by pure serendipity ran into one another in person!   My Dear Friend Pamela knew my Blog first, met me in Person when our Antique Mall opened and we became Vendors running into each other in Real Life there on the first day Vendors were moving in... and she was my first Customer before the Mall even opened!  *LOL*  It's a Small World really my Friends!   The Circles we run in are actually not that Wide and yet Kindred Spirits always seem to find one another some kind of way, it is almost a magnetic attraction that happens!   Now, that's not to say I have not also met Wonderful peeps who are nothing at all like me, polar opposites in fact, and yet we've bonded and become Friends too!  

 I do find that The Land Of Blog overall is a much Gentler and Kinder Community than Real Life can sometimes be.  Yes, there are the Trolls, but Blogger has been efficient when I've tagged a Troll as Spam and not Welcome here.  I don't suffer the Unlovely peeps and shit stirring types.  I have a zero tolerance policy for Drama or disrespectful and ignorant or hateful behavior in Real Life and here on my Blog.  Behavior tolerated is behavior accepted, it's not acceptable to me.  We've lost some really Special Bloggers who got targeted by Trolls and Haters, it's a pity, I Wish they had stood their ground and not allowed such low life antics to control their decision.   The Critics in Life tend to mostly be those who rarely DO anything to promote Positive Changes or make a Difference themselves.  So I consider them impotent and unimportant, probably Tortured Souls who perhaps feel obscure and marginalized so are lashing out?  Much easier to complain, criticize and be judgmental about everyone else as a Spectator on the sidelines who isn't even in the Game but enjoys being the Armchair Quarterback.   My stance is, IF you CAN DO it better, then just DO IT and shut up... the Proof will then be in your own performance and Real contribution!  *LOL*

If I was feeling particularly scrappy and wicked I might amuse myself by sparring with and gleefully taking down a Troll or Critic for Fun.  *LMAO*  But really I don't Care enough about what they have to say to bother and I can find more Positive Amusement in other ways and not let Dark Dawn out to Play.  *Winks*  Yes, I Confess I DO have a Dark Side and 'she' is not very Nice if I unleash 'her'.  The G-Kid Force keep me accountable by saying, "Gramma Be Nice!", when ever I'm getting testy or about to Deal with someone who doesn't bring out the Best in me!  *LOL*   I think we all do have a Dark Side of Self and you have to really want to be a better person to keep the Darkness at bay and be Kind or Civil, perhaps some folks just can't manage that, I dunno?   I feel there's enough Therapists around to sort that shit out for them if they want to seek the Help they clearly Need to resolve their Issues, or perhaps they just enjoy being an Asshole nobody much likes, who knows?   We each have our own Journey and Choices, mine is just not to suffer them since who Needs unneccessary Drama or Triggers that might unleash our own inner Darkness upon the World?   I do know folks who won't Blog or even Comment due to the risk of running into the ones nobody likes to Deal with and everyone despises whenever they show up unwelcome like a Party Crasher and virus.

Which brings me to Blogging Now as opposed to Then, what HAS Changed and I've Noticed?   I've discovered that most everything runs it's course, when it peaks in popularity and then wanes.  Unfortunately Blogging is now at that unfortunate juncture of falling out of popularity and favor.  It peaked during the time I've been doing it, which was a Great Ride... but the paradigm shift has now come.   A lot of really Great Blogs and Bloggers are gone, I Miss each and every one of them.  It's getting harder to find replacement Blogs to read and Support, tho' I keep searching and seeking them, they ARE still out there in vast cyberspace.   I had contemplated whether to quit Blogging myself, but I decided I still thoroughly enjoy doing it Now as much as, or even more than, in the beginning.  It's still one of my Happy Places to come... either to Create a Post of my own or to Read someone else's and interact with Blog Friends in this alternate Social venue we've formed.

 I began the Journey of this Online Journal just for me, I modified it some for those who came to Visit and I have become Friends with and want to Share our Lives with, it's Matured right along with me.  So whether Visits increase or wane, if what I want to say and Share is still relevant to me, since this is my Life and Loves, what's on my Heart and Mind that I'm Journaling about, I'll continue because it's Free, so why not?!  *LOL*   Besides, even tho' I Purged all Old Archived Posts a while ago, I have a lot of Fond Memories tied up in this Blog now it's reaching the Decade mark of it's existence.  I still apparently have a lot to say and the Photography, well, that's improved as an Art Form as well and I have become an even more avid Amateur Pathological Picture Taker now!  *Winks*  The most Amazing part, I have almost 2 million Views now... WOW... just WOW!  Who knew so many would show up for a Visit!?!?!?!?!?

I do Hope most of you will still come for Visits, I've thoroughly enjoyed your Company and the connection Socially that it's provided.  You've been so very Supportive during the tough times and rejoiced with us during the good times.  You've come along virtually to a lot of places with me where I might have previously walked alone... and the Sharing of an experience just magnifies the pleasure of it!   You've watched The G-Kid Force grow up, the slow but steady recovery of The Man after his catastrophic injuries and rehabilitation, all the Stuff I've bought and sold off... chuckling about that one... the epic move from Old Historic Bohemian Valhalla to New Villa Boheme'... so we now have some Shared History together that brings greater intimacy to relationships.   Whether they be Real Life ones or Online ones really hardly matters anymore to me, since it has transcended the Need to always have to meet in Person to become close Friends... and that is Truly Wonderful my Friends!  Hope you all enjoyed the Visual walk down Memory Lane with some photographic Blasts from the Past's Blog Photo Archives!?


Blessings, Love and Sharing Life from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Fluff Of Life Distractions... Filling Up On Eye Candy

I have found Reality to be a tad bit harsh lately, and so it's been a welcome respite to Escape from it temporarily... with fluff of Life distractions... filling up on Eye Candy, which just becomes the break I need to restore my Soul.  Stuff, it can be the bane of my existence and my insulated Sanctuary... all at the same time!

It's not that things are so terribly bad at the Moment, during the terribly bad Moments actually you have no Time to Think, you just have to React by rote and not Think at all.  It's when things become tedious and mundane in the Caregiver Role that you have too much Time to Think about Reality and the harshness of it's complexities and challenges you're stuck with.

You can get deep inside your own Head in those Moments when things aren't in Crisis, yet they still are what they are and what they require of you.  Caregiving is a Lonesome Task, doesn't matter how many people may be 'around' in the peripheral of it, if they are not 'present' in it, in the trenches with you, the disconnect just exists and you realize how isolated you really are and have become.

There is their World and their Reality, the Non-Caregivers... and then there is yours, Worlds apart.  When your own Health begins to be compromised and you're still the Caregiver, then the harshness sets in, it's a Reality Check.  You know, just in case you imagined you had an alternate Reality, a Reality like most Normal people.  Your situation is anything but Normal or Typical though.  You still have to muster to do it all, while attempting enough Self Care not to fall apart and to keep on keeping on.

The "how long can I do this" begins to become the question you constantly ask yourself?  Because some illnesses and disabilities have no actual end or cure, you realize there will possibly be a time when you can't provide the Care to meet everyone at their point of Need anymore, when you yourself are spent.   What then?   When you just can't?   Who will?  And at what Cost?

Since I don't know when that Time will be it just is the Elephant in the room that nobody much talks about and pretends not to even Notice or try to ever Think about.  You just go about your days walking delicately around the Elephant in the room, who it's easier to pretend is invisible and just not there, so you ignore it as best you can.   For everyone's Sanity really, no use freaking out daily about an Elephant in your room, it's not going anywhere!

I do not like Caregiving, in fact I loathe it... because it makes me feel way too vulnerable, trapped, inept and ultimately responsible for things way beyond my abilities, skill set and control.  It becomes your Life and you will forfeit an actual one to become a Full Time Caregiver.  People requiring Caregiving depend upon you, more than just the average dependency.

We're not talking about minor Depending upon someone to be there for you, like if you happen to need a ride and if someone just doesn't show up it's not as if it's a potential Crisis or puts you in any peril.  If you are not dependable you will fail miserably at Caregiving and probably catch charges for Negligence of a Vulnerable Being actually.  It's not a one-off instance of dependency, it's total dependency, which is some heavy shit!

It's a twenty-four-seven and three-hundred-sixty-five grind of heavy shit, even on the good days when things aren't so terribly bad at the Moment.  It's the Knowing that they depend upon you ALL of the time really, even when they don't have an immediate Need or Crisis you must respond to.  Even when things are good they can go bad, so it's some edgy shit all of the time!

So it's like being On Call ALL of the time, even if things are Calm and Life is looking as Normal or mundane as a day can possibly be in your World.  Because you have had enough Experience at it to know that things can, and do, turn on a Dime... just like that things can go all to Hell and BE a LIVING HELL!   I have been to Hell and back so many times over decades of Caregiving that I Feel I deserve a taste of Heaven when I finally Die and am released from it!

It can all seem so innocuous at times that it belies how bad things can get on the turn of a Dime when someone is seriously not Well, either physically, mentally, or both and you're Extreme Caregiving or Parenting.   In the blink of an Eye, on a day that started out OK enough, things can unravel so fast you are never quite prepared for any of it.  No matter how many times you've been thru it... there's no rehearsing this shit.

Every Crisis will be different enough and Test you to the levels of your endurance and experiences of Dealing with it... or something like it.  You never Know the Outcome, you WILL NEVER Know the Outcome, it's simply not Promised!  You sigh a huge sigh of Relief every time if the Outcome just isn't too bad and nobody ends up Hospitalized, Institutionalized or Dies on your Watch!   And it is ALWAYS your Watch, you are the Lone Sentinel and there's rarely, if ever, any backup.

You learn to be very Guarded about Help coming, because even IF they show up, often they are not prepared nor skilled and trained enough to handle whatever is going down.  Especially in the Mental Health aspect of Caregiving, you learn the Dangers associated with Help arriving for the Mentally Ill Loved Ones!  Then them {both Loved One and Responders} possibly Feeling Unsafe in the unpredictable, unstable nature of a full blown Mental Health Episode!   A lot of shit can go Sideways, so it's very different than a Medical Emergency Response no matter how Epic or Life Threatening.

It all takes a definite Toll... sometimes you don't even realize how much of a Toll since it's so insidious in what it's doing to YOU.   So you sometimes just need the Fluff of Life distractions, however frivolous it is to fill up the Void with it. Because you might as well get Sick with filling up on too much Eye Candy as get Sick from the Stress of your Reality being a tad bit too harsh to manage appropriately.   Even on the worst days the stuff and fluff can just seem more manageable... even if it isn't.


Dawn... The Bohemian

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Merchant Square And A Political Rant

So I took my Friend to MERCHANT SQUARE Antique Mall because she'd never been there before and I didn't know the HIGHLAND YARD VINTAGE Event had been cancelled for July due to the excessive heat of Summer.  I had thought she might get to experience both while she's in Town, mebbe next time.  The Son lives nearby but had to work overtime, so that didn't work out either for us meeting him for Lunch and trawling for Treasures together.   I like this location because it is so close to Family who live in the East Valley, so we usually get together there whenever I make the pilgrimage way over there.

The Son and Family would prefer us to move and live in the East Valley, which is why I have been looking at properties over on that side of the Metro area.  I just don't know about Moving again tho', I'm still very much conflicted and on the fence, just so much downsizing, expense and work involved to even remotely consider it!   Right now I'm spent just moving a single piece of furniture Upstairs in increments... we took it apart, the Vintage Industrial Cabinet, and about half of it is still in my Downstairs Hallway a week later!  *LOL*   And let us not get started about the Meditation Room chronic delays, my procrastination known no bounds lately!  *Le Sigh*  I just don't Feel up to most of it lately and so I just don't do it with any consistency anymore.

Even my Outings can end up sidelined if Family and Friends don't catch me early enough while I still have the motivation and energy to actually do it!  If they wait til Afternoon... forget about it... I'll now opt to stay Home and just continue to gel.   Don't know if it's physical, emotional or a bit of both... I just Feel rather drained doing much about nothing lately!  Of coarse the intense heat and humidity that comes with the Summer Monsoon Season probably contributes to my overall apathy and general Feeling of overall exhaustion.  At the Mall I only bought this Fab Vintage Seed Sack since it was 20% Off... and some French Nordic Decor Jeanne d'Arc Living Magazines, also 20% Off that day, since most Vendors were having a Sizzling Summer Sale going on!  I have probably made my Friend a convert now of French Nordic Style after she perused said Mags.  *LOL*

It was tempting to pick up this little fella for my Vintage Carnival Kitsch Collection, but I didn't.   Finances this Summer are just strained for a variety of reasons and I'm concentrating on Selling stuff off rather than bringing stuff in to Villa Boheme'.   I've priced and carted off numerous Banana Boxes of Inventory to my Antique Mall, the Purge continues.   Culling personal possessions is ramped up considerably now and I'm pleased with the mass exodus.  Tho' it has made a Hot Mess of my housekeeping, since boxes and piles are everywhere, so things are chaotic at the moment while sorting, pricing and sending it all out is in progress.   My Showroom and Booth is jam packed, I don't like it being so cluttered, but... better than our Home being cluttered with it.  Not to mention I cannot Sell it in piles at Home, right?!  *Winks*

I have Donated a considerable amount too and still have a large box sitting at the ready for the next Donation run.   I also missed bulk garbage pick up dammit, then the Monsoon back to back Haboobs happened while Princess T's old Twin Mattress sat curbside and saturated it and a Big Screen TV Box!   So we loaded the now ultra soggy and ten times heavier items into the back of my Truck, where they now sit while I contemplate which Landfill to dispose of them at!?   The Free bulk pick-up would have been better given the Summer Finances strain, but whatever, it's not like I can drag the two items back inside now that they're soaked and filthy from the Monster Storms that hit while they were out there!   I was so confidant I'd put them out in time, since other neighbors had big piles of furniture out at the same time and theirs is all gone now, only an Old Microwave got taken of our three items put out there... WTF?!

I looked to see if large flat boxes and small mattresses were on the 'forbidden' item list, they were not... so I just don't know what happened and now I just don't Care.   To avoid an Uptight Neighbor or HOA Drama playing out I just loaded them into the back of my Truck to get them out of sight and out of Mind for a while 'til I can dispose of them properly now.   As it is, every day there is a Monster Storm, which is almost daily... the most Uptight Neighbors are out there slogging away at sweeping Nature's debris up... only to do it again the next day... and the next, an exercise in futility if you ask me!   I just can't be bothered 'til I absolutely have to when numerous consecutive storms have passed thru... I mean, what's the point if it won't look any different by just the next freakin' day?!?  *LOL*  I don't think I'm Uptight enough to live around here, I really don't.  *LMAO*

It amuses me really to see anyone working so hard at something that will be obliterated in a matter of another few hours... fighting Mother Nature... you will lose every time, I guarantee!  But I'm assuming that when you're that Uptight, you just cannot stand for it not to be Tidy for even a Minute and you'll re-do it every hour if you have to???!!!   I don't Get It, perhaps I never will, it just doesn't bother me to see some leaf and seed pod debris after a big storm having to wait 'til the series of storms is over before I get around to it!   I did get around to it last Week and sweep up a fairly epic amount of mostly seed pods from my two now enormous Desert Willow Trees.  But it looks the same again now we've had this Week's Monster Storms hit, so whatever, I'm just not ambitious or bothered enough yet to do it again.  Of coarse many just keep paying their Gardeners to come back again and again, those Companies are making Bank this time of year!

And sadly, during the most recent back to back Monster Haboobs that had gale force winds resembling a Typhoon, our Green Belt at the end of our Street, and many others around the Valley, lost a considerable amount of Beautiful large Trees!  They were ripped up by their roots and flung around like matchsticks!  The Power of those Storms is Awe inspiring, they are both Beautiful in their mesmerizing roll into the Valley when captured on film, and Terrifying to be caught in if you happen to be driving!   If you have never seen a Haboob roll over the Land, it is like nothing you will ever see!  Visibility when the initial Dust roll hits is at Zero and the Wind is so strong that when the Rain finally hits it comes sideways and is literally horizontal Rain!   The first one The Man and I got stuck out in as we were driving Home from a Restaurant, they hit quickly and fiercely.

The Sun can be shining and then you see it rolling in rapidly, you will not outrun it even in a vehicle, so the best thing to do is when visibility is compromised, pull off to the side of the road as far as you can, turn your lights off and wait it out 'til it's safe to carry on.   Most inexperienced Desert Monster Storm drivers haven't got a Clue tho' and they're the ones that pose more danger than the actual Storm to everyone's life around them!   We sat at the side of the road doing what we should be doing in literally zero visibility and every so often some idiot with a Death Wish would go speeding by blindly at whatever the speed limit is, clearly unable to see a damned thing and yet driving fast and totally blind!  They can't even see the road, never mind an intersection or any other vehicles or stationary objects around them, what are they thinking?!?!!  They might not even be ON the road anymore and they wouldn't know it, which is why you have to turn your own lights off so they don't try to 'follow' you and run up your ass!

I am certain that most vehicular Storm fatalities are caused by the likes of fools like that!   Wake up call, if you can't see beyond your windshield you probably should not be careening down the road at any speed!   I have heard some people try to justify trying to still drive when they can't see a damned thing by saying they were too scared to just stop and risk being hit by somebody else.  And the logic in that just isn't something I can wrap my Mind around... SOOO... lemme get this straight... rather than being stationary and way off the road not being a dangerous projectile yourself, you think it's somehow Safer and less scary to be careening blindly in a vehicle and trying not to be hit by some other fool also careening blindly in a vehicle... humnnnnn... very interesting!!!   Yes, it is Terrifying and the best thing is not to be driving if you can help not getting accidentally caught in the Storms rage... but knowing what is the RIGHT and safest suggested thing to do is also important just in case.

Thankfully, once the Storm had subsided enough to see to drive again, we noticed the vast majority of sensible drivers were also in long lines on either side of the road pulled over like we were waiting it out.  You couldn't see them before... and so if those idiot drivers had been blinded and disoriented enough to have gone off road on either side they would have definitely caused some carnage.  That is the part that was more terrifying to me while sitting there than the Storm ever was!   Like I've continued to say tho', you can't fix Stupid or talk sense into those who refuse sensibility as an option.   I have seen so much nonsensical behaviors lately that I'm wondering if there isn't a plague of it going around or something?!  *Le Sigh*   Given the state of our Nation at even the highest levels, well, it just boggles the Mind how outrageous it's all become!  Alice's Wonderland wasn't as jacked up, honestly... when I heard 45 was going to have Tea with the Queen I'm like... Oh Shit, hopefully with his appalling lack of manners and couth he won't piss her off so much she'll say Off with his Head?!?

Even my Grandson wryly added, I just cannot Imagine what kind of Mad Tea Party THAT is going to play out in Real Time... can he even NOT be an embarrassment and be the least bit Respectful ya think... even in the presence of Royalty?!   Well, after all the other Worldwide debacle visits, I don't have a lot of confidence and cringe every time he goes anywhere or says anything!  Since even his own Advisors seem unable to advise him to behave with propriety and National best interest at Heart, to put Ego and Arrogance aside for a minute.  I've never been a particularly Political person nor bothered to spar with anyone else's Political views since it's futile, but I cannot wait for this damned cluster fuck of an Administration to be over.  

It's to the point we've got precious Children interned in Camps like POW's and not kept track of as well as luggage at an Airport... Human Right violations as atrocious as any Dictator has ever wrought!  It's all beyond Surreal at this point and it scares and disgusts me... a LOT!  It scares and disgusts me MORE that so many seem OK with it too or try to justify what is so terribly Wrong, callous and unjust!  That's frightening beyond belief becoz History shows us what can happen when masses are blindly led by Fools or with Evil intent against other Human Beings!   I'm ashamed actually and don't want to be complicit in any of it which is why I just have to speak out against it, even if mine is just a single Voice being raised and ignored.   Since I answer to God, I just wouldn't want to remain Silent when ungodly actions are wrought against other Human Beings and their suffering and violation is so clearly evident!

I am retired from our local DA's Office and when I was still working the charge of Illegal Immigration was a Misdemeanor, which I'm sure it still is.  So, since when is the penalty for committing a Misdemeanor the utter destruction of your Family and the loss of your Children, perhaps forever?   Not knowing where they are or how they're being treated or with whom they've been placed in the Care of, since nobody seems to REALLY know or be accountable for.   As a Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother I cannot even comprehend the magnitude of that terror and Nightmare... as a Human Being I cannot see how putting a Child in that kind of situation is the least bit humane to that Child and their well being?  They have been forever damaged by it and that should be on our collective conscience, regardless of how you Feel about Immigration and how very broken that System CLEARLY is and in need of major overhaul and repair!  I personally am not willing to sacrifice a single Child at the Altar of Policy and Politics... not a single one!  It just makes me weep when I see what is happening in my own Country and it makes me ANGRY!

I am a very Peace loving individual and some of my Heroes of Activism and Positive Change have been the likes of Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King.   They made a Positive difference in their World and I totally Respect that, I cannot Respect those who have not left the World a better place for their existence while in positions of Power and Influence.    Many Negative things are the result of Power and Influence misguided or misused and abused... it's a very delicate balance when you are given that great Responsibility for 'the Good of ALL' and wielding your Power and Influence.   When anyone appears to be a loose canon I never see that as a Positive thing, tho' some would argue that's Why they like certain Leaders, I see it as Reckless, impulsive and short sighted.  I don't know that in a Leadership Position with many lives at stake, and the Future of so many for who knows how long, that those are attributes whatsoever.

I know that the reputation of the United States has been significantly altered in not so flattering ways, internally and externally.   You can't have years of a shit show playing out without collateral damage of epic proportions and whoever will inherit the mess afterwards has a job not to be envied of running significant damage control.   It makes me Sad when my Grandchild tells me that it's probably a Good Thing I'm so Old because I won't have the long term effects of it playing out for as many years as his Generation will.   I know that he is Right, I am Hopeful that he and those Beautiful Genius Minds like his of their Generation will make a Positive difference and find Solutions in their Lifetimes.  When I speak to the Youth about the condition of our Society most of them are not overly Optimistic, but they would like to improve it in Positive ways and that Mindset might make all the difference to make it a Reality one day, when they're in Charge.

I am Hopeful myself that Positive Changes and what is Right will eventually Win out over the Negativity and all that is so very Wrong!   There is still a lot of Beauty and Goodness in the World and preserving it is vitally important to me.   I have always had the Belief that America has been Great because she as a Nation has been Good and fought for what we Believe to be Personal Freedoms.  When we cease to be Good, we will ultimately cease to be Great.   Every Society does have it's flaws, it's things we still Need to Get Right.  I've traveled the World extensively and I still very much Believe with every ounce of my Being that it's mostly Good to be an American and have the privilege of calling this my Country.   Poverty exists in every Country, eliminating it or reducing it significantly is a task every Society faces.  Even Jesus said the Poor we will always have with us {Matthew 26:11} and perhaps that is telling that it's an extremely tough Problem to totally conquer and solve?

However, Charity is one of the Theological Virtues and Love the greatest Virtue, we should be extending both as a Nation to remain Good and Great.  That said, the seven deadly Sins:  pridegreedlustenvygluttonywrath and sloth
How many of THOSE as a Nation do you see playing out daily now my Friends?  I see way too many actually, which is not a good thing at all, it disturbs me.  On a Spiritual level I can't help but think it will have serious consequence associated with it.    As a Moderate person I just feel too many extremes exist within our population right now and it has thus polarized us like never before and we are a very Disunited States of America right now, also NOT good.  The Unity is no longer there and can it be Restored?   I'm really not Sure and if everyone stubbornly holds their current ground, probably NOT.  How we will then Deal with that as a Nation remains to be seen.

I have always been able to see the Beauty in the broken, the unlovely, the imperfect, that which has been cast aside and given up on by many.  I do think we can continue to Cherish what is left, what might be damaged, not only in things but in the people around us.   I don't expect Perfection, not in anything and not in anyone... and I'm not even asking for that of anything or anyone.  The admission of what was a Mistake tho' is crucial if we are not to repeat it or continue along a mistaken Path too far or for too long.  We're all on this Journey of Life Together and the impact of one can be impacting many... or even all.  I just Pray for self-reflection and to sort out what can and should be Changed and just go about THAT in the most Positive ways possible.  We cannot Change the Past, it's done... but we can Learn from it, Success leaves clues and Failure definitely leaves evidence of what didn't work.

I didn't even begin this Post Today with the Intention of making it a Moral one.  My initial Intention was to just show some pretty things and talk about the weather... but my Heart has been burdened... and out of the abundance of the Heart the Mouth typically speaks.   It just HAS to... and that's why I Listen a lot to what people SAY, it Reveals so much about what is in their Hearts even if they are trying to disguise it or dress it up.   I Listen a lot to what our Leaders are Saying, the condition of their Hearts isn't Promising from what I'm Hearing, in fact it's Toxic to my Ears and my own Heart and Spirit.   I think a lot of people are Feeling out of sorts and I can't help but Wonder if that has something to do with it... because it is unsettling to say the least!   Now, what people DO is another thing entirely, words without actions are hollow and meaningless... and there is a lot of that going around as well!

Take Action in whatever Positive ways you can make a difference my Friends and do not discount your small contributions.   Combined the smallest of contributions makes a big difference and impact.   I have been Sponsoring 3rd Wold Children via a Wonderful Ministry Organization for almost 50 years now and tho' my monthly contribution is small, collectively with other Sponsors many Good things have come of it.   Numerous Children I have personally Sponsored have been able to break the cycle of Poverty and Illiteracy to make a difference.  Not only in their Lives, but in their contribution to their own circle of Influence once they've grown up.  It has empowered many Young Girls in Countries where Women typically have not had a level playing field to contribute and make a difference, that is forever Changed when they now CAN.  Now with their Male counterparts they can Unify to do Good things with Positive results. 

I do recall that even my own Dear Parents, who were extremely Generous and Positive Souls who Helped many, being skeptical when I wanted to Sponsor a Child at the Age of 13.    Is it really going to make a difference they implored... and they knew how hard I was working at the Local Flea Market and Babysitting to come up with the Money for the Sponsorship each Month and how Sacrificial it was to me then.  It will make a different to THAT ONE I always said... and that's enough for me... for now... and perhaps later I can make MORE of a difference when I can DO more.   That very first Child I Sponsored wasn't a whole lot older than me at the time and she eventually became a Nurse!  I was so Proud of her accomplishments and she was so Grateful for the opportunities my Sponsorship had allowed her, to improve her chances of Education and Success, of breaking the cycle of Poverty in her Family... and her Community.  It indeed had made a difference in a Positive way... after that I was Addicted to making more Positive differences whenever I could and however small a contribution to the grand scheme of things!

And you can too... not everyone has to do Great things to make an impact or have enormous Resources to Support Positive Change.   I'm reminded of a Story I was told a long, long time ago about a little Boy on the Beach loaded with washed up Starfish, so many that he couldn't possibly Rescue them all.  Yet he kept running up and down the Beach furiously throwing some back into the Ocean so they might Survive and Thrive, have a Chance.   A Man watched him for quite some time and then told him that it was futile, he could not, would not, be able to Save them ALL no matter how hard he tried.  The Boy picked up the next one and simply said, but I can Save THIS ONE!   I always felt a connection to that Boy in the Story and was not overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task, because I wasn't trying to Save ALL either... at least not all by myself.  And it just makes me Feel Good to know that we Saved some... and the ripple effect of that Humanity extended can be enormous and way bigger and Greater than us!  

And it has been therapeutic in so many ways to Write every now and again what burdens my Heart and just put it out there into the Universe too.   Whether anyone reads it or not hardly matters, whether anyone is in agreement or not isn't the Point... I just think that Positive Vibes resonate loudly and are just Powerful in and of themselves.   And Negative Vibes just have a Karma that comes back around on them that isn't Good and I personally don't want attached to me and so I shed them and repel them whenever I'm exposed to them.   There's a lot of Negative Vibes out there right now, so it's been quite the battle to not allow it to infect us and pollute us with it's toxicity.  But I Believe we can prevail and keep the Good Fight going Strong, with Love being our ammunition and Faith being our Shield... and a Trust that God is the Great Equalizer and vindicator of Wrongs and against all Evil.   So I do my part and allow Him to do His, Trusting that everything will be as it should be.


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl