Karma... The Ultimate Bitch In Payback

 I am just under Three Million Views on the Ole Blog, and am still a Dozen Unpublished Blog Posts ahead and quite chuffed with myself accomplishing that and also doing more shortened Posts!   You're Welcome.  That said, this won't be one of them, I had a lot to say that couldn't be condensed.  Sorry. *Winks*  Hopefully it's less Post to slog thru when I don't go Long, and more of you might get to The End of one now?  *LOL*  I've been told peeps would Comment more if they couldn't Forget what they were gonna say before they finally finished a Post Read.  *Bwahahahaha*  So, we'll see if that's Helpful then?  *Winks*   Once a Post finally Publishes I do go back and Proof Read it again to ensure it's making some Sense or if I Need to tweak it a tad or do spellchecking?  *Smiles*  You see, I Type VERY Fast, warp Speed Fast.  So sometimes I miss an error, tho' my Accuracy is Legendary and in my Corporate Lives my Speed and Accuracy was impressive and valuable to Employers.

Sometimes if I get to going really FAST, the Kiddos used to marvel that I'd stop Typing to take a little Rest and the Words would keep going on the Screen coz the Computer hadn't caught up yet to what I'd already Typed!  During Census I could Crash their System with my Speed so they had to have the I.T. Guys increase the Keystrokes capabilities for those of us they Hired that were faster than what they'd set the capabilities to.  I Type way over 100 WPM, averaging about 120-140 if I'm familiar with my Keyboard.  I wear the Letters off my Keys consistently and grooves into my Keyboard's Keys on the most used Letters.  *Smiles*  My Accuracy Rate when in Career Mode was 98% on Average, for anything I was doing, including Audits and finding Errors.  I have always felt I'm an undiagnosed Autistic due to that Quirk, intensive Attention to Detail is an Obsession, among many others I have.  *LOL*

I have Nurse Remi coming Today for her last Visit with The Man, I'll have to ask her to Close Out his Case and her Visits or I've been told Insurance won't Pay for his Cardiac Rehab at the Hospital.  So be it.  Gotta comply with Insurance bullshit if you expect them to even think about covering Claims.  *Le Sigh*  Sometimes they'll give Approval of something with the Caveat that they might not PAY for it tho'!  Ain't THAT some bullshit, right there?!  We Agree to APPROVE, often even in Writing, whatever you are having done that is Necessary and your Docs Ordered or had to do for your Medical Condition or Medical Emergency, BUT... we might Pay for it... or we might NOT!!!  *Eye Roll*  It's rather like a Game of Russian Roulette... will they Pay, or will I get stuck with it and take the Bullet?!  Right now I'm going thru that with all my Testing for this Mass... HUMANA Approved the Testing in Writing, with the Caveat they MIGHT NOT Pay for it tho'.  Splendid.  The last thing anyone Needs coupled with Medical Crisis, is the Threat of Financial Crisis due to it!

We got several Denial Letters on various Hospitalizations and Surgeries that The Man has had since the 1st of the Year when we had to switch to HUMANA.  So far tho' the Docs and Surgeons, plus Hospital Caseworkers, have fought those decisions for us.  So far, we haven't been Billed, but there's Thousands of Dollars outstanding that the Insurances haven't yet Paid either, going back for Months!!!   So, we're just Grateful all his Civilian Specialists are still agreeing to SEE him if they still haven't gotten Paid for what they did way back in January and February yet, if at all, ever!!!!??   The VA Hospital now always ships High Maintenance and Critical Patients like The Man out to Civilian Sources on Transfers.  So it's useless to take him all the way Downtown to the Big VA Hospital if they're only then gonna pop his Ass into an expensive Civilian Ambulance and drive him all the way back from whence we came to a Civilian Hospital near our Home anyway!!!  Good News is, we're near Two Major Hospitals and a VA Clinic here, all of which are very close by.  *Whew*

Last time we were at the Big VA Hospital ER in Downtown Phoenix, it was like a Ghost Town, almost nobody in there, which was very Odd and not Typical at all!!!   So I suspect they are shipping most Veterans out to Civilian Hospitals now, coz it used to always be packed, beyond capacity.  But I did notice obvious staffing shortages and suspect all these Budget Cuts by this Regime to VA Healthcare is responsible?  If there's less Money to Fund Veteran's Programs and not sufficient Staffing, well, of coarse they've got to rely then on the Civilian Sector and Hope the Vets have adequate additional Insurance to Pay for it then.  The VA is Free to Veterans you see, an EARNED Benefit for their Service to Country, it's not Charity like this Regime pretends it is.  And it is why you see Disabled Veterans now Sponsored on TV by Civilian Charities Organizations like 3rd World Children to get the Care they Need that the Government clearly isn't providing them otherwise. 

Above Pix is an Older one of the Villa McManse looking out from my Office/Library.  Now I'm squoze in a Corner of our Bedroom on the Computer!  *LOL*  Downsizing to less than half the House Size, what can I say?   Sometimes it seems like it will be hard to get to Just Enough in this much smaller Property, even tho' I Love it here more, it's challenging to make things 'Fit' and having so much Family having to move back in after we Downsized to half the Property's Livable Space.  You can never fully know what the Future may hold tho'.  You do what you must at the time and Hope it will Play out satisfactorily.  Which, it mostly has, so, no complaints.  Just not enuf Room now for an expanded Family of Three Generations Sharing Space again with all their Worldly Possessions combined.   When that Pix was taken {Above} we were already packing for this Move, so I did have some clutter here and there as things were being Packed up.  

But, what I Loved most about that ridiculous sized Home was, you couldn't clutter it up really, too cavernous.  With abundant Space, Showcased my Beautiful Hoard of Lifetime Possessions Magnificently.  I've owned a lot of Nice Properties I Loved, but never a Million Dollar Listing before that one, it was Top Shelf Bougee.  *Ha ha ha*  And I only Paid $370,000 when the Luxury Home Market crashed badly and Blood was in the Streets Economically.  That's always when you make Big Purchases, when the Economy is Crashing, it's what the Rich do.  I'm not Rich but I know how the Game is Played Financially to get the most Bang for your Buck and when everyone else is Panicking Financially.   It almost always seemed empty Space abounded, we had several large completely empty Rooms when we moved that had never been Furnished!!!  Yeah, me the Maximalist, couldn't fill that Home, it was a lot of House!  *LOL*

  Too much Home to Maintain without Staff tho', so it hadda Go... but, after I got the Grandkids successfully Adopted, which was it's sole Purpose of being bought.  The Adoption Board was duly impressed with the Pretentious Affluent Neighborhood of Million Dollar Plus Homes and pushed that Adoption thru.   Even the Appearance of ridiculous Affluence Opens Doors, which is a sad commentary on our Society, but, I know how the Game is Played and if I must Play it, I'll Play it Well and to my Advantage.  Illusions and Appearances are not so hard to Fool most folks... just look at this Administration for Proof of that Fact.   And, I knew I could flip that Home to a Wealthy Investor any time I was ready to and get a Cash Buyer with Deep Pockets.  I HATED that Pretentious Uppity Community and the HOA so much that I intentionally Sold it to a Cali Investor who I knew was paying Cash, Closing in a Day, and gonna turn it into an Air B&B Party House and be the scourge of that Community that despised folk like us living among them.  How ya Like me now?  *Bwahahahaha*  Karma is the ultimate Bitch!  *Smiles and Winks*  The Community there just made me Feel too Angry all the time... they were that Toxic to be Exposed to.  Beautiful Houses, Horrible Occupants.  The Above Meme encapsulates it.

Yeah, I went all Heath Ledger "Joker" on the Neighbors Asses and told some of them I Disliked most, and caused my Grandkids the most grief and Problems, which Set me Off... that I would put Curses on them, so they did Learn to Fear me.  *Bwahahaha*  We heard via The Streets that the Pretentious fuck Neighbors we'd had, now lamented that we'd Moved, after they got those New Buyer's bullshit to have to Deal with.  *LMAOROTF*  Oh, so NOW you'd rather have a Dreadlocked Old Half-Breed Hippie {they thought I Practiced Voodoo and we were Uncivilized Heathens, LOL}, our Hispanic Grandkids {they Hated anyone of Color & Race Mixing}, and since The Young Prince was Gay and the Fundies there kept telling us we should "Pray The Gay Away" {very Homophobic Fundamentalist Christian Community too and very MAGA}, so they wouldn't allow their Kids to Associate with our Kids, but NOW... NOW you would rather have us as your Neighbors!  Awwwww, ain't that Quaint and fucking Sweet now ya got what ya Deserved, Party Central in your Midst.  So Sad, too Bad. *Laughs* 

 Pretty sure the Devil of an HOA was shitting Kittens all the time coz I saw the condition of the House after Vacay Rental Hoards were the constant Occupants and the Rich Investor doesn't even Live In-State and can easily afford Fines and does not Care, it's a Commodity to them, not a Community.  The Buyer tore out almost all the fabulously expensive Front Mature Landscape and put Pavers in to Park more Vehicles on it.  It's SAD to see the House suffer, but I do Hope those Pretentious Asshole Neighbors suffer daily, Hated 'em.  Tried to make Nice at first, but when they threw Shade our way and got Uppity, openly Racist towards my Family and Problematic, fuck 'em.  The Neighbor next door to us were a reclusive Older Black Couple that had a 7,500 sf McManse and Hated to see us go, they had never been problematic coz they too were Targeted for Hate Crimes all the time.  He was a Fire Chief, she was a Professor at some College, I don't know why they stayed, except they were not gonna be driven out by White Nationalist Neighbor's Behaviors.

   And the Neighbors across the Street, also in one of those 7,500 sf McManse's, were our only Friends in the Community that we did Socialize with.  A Young Couple originally immigrating from Sri Lanka, who also caught a lot of flack for not being White.  The Neighbors next to them built a Grudge Wall when People Of Color moved in!!!  They had moved there from Cali and were Business Owners who were very Successful, Lovely Couple, couldn't have Children, but still bought that Home that was almost double the Size of ours and 3-Stories.   And same Racist Grudge Wall Neighbors, when we had the Property up For Sale during the Holidays, and our Son and his Asian Family came for Thanksgiving Dinner, ran over in an absolute Panic to ask us if those "Vietnamese" were Buying the Property!?!  I deadpanned, "No, but they're not Vietnamese, they're Cambodian, and they are our Son and his Family...", and just walked away before I punched that fucking Racist MAGA Freak in his Mouth!  He since Lost the Home, probably due to Foreclosure when the Economy Crashed again due to Voting in their Orange Messiah... Good, Karma once again, the Ultimate Bitch in Payback, getting what he Voted for!  *Clapping, Standing Ovation for Karma*

 

We have a Racially and Age diverse Demographic and Lovely Community here at the Mini Farms, and we Like it that way.  People are Neighborly and they don't put up with Problematic folk who might move in and try to cause Issues with it remaining that way.   We Hope it stays that way coz it drew us in even more than how Lovely the Property is.  It crossed off a lot of the "Wants and Needs" we'd had on our Laundry List of what the Forever Home should be like, Location, Community around it.  I knew I was that Buyer with a big Checklist and wouldn't Settle, but I was willing to put in the Work to Find said Property to Buy and just have our Realtor, whose also a Dear Friend of ours, just consummate The Deal and do the Negotiating FOR us, after I told him what my Terms would only be... and get it there on our Terms... which, he did. 

 At 2% Interest, Buying it at what we Offered the Seller, and said Seller throwing in voluntarily about $25,000+ worth of Extras we didn't ask for... it was a Sweet Deal.  It was right AT Pandemic's beginning, so, Blood in the Streets again... perfect time to make a big Buy.  So I Bought a New Truck too at 0% Interest and tons of Freebies thrown in by the Dealership, why not?  *LOL*   And, now that there's Blood in the Streets yet again Economically, is when I made some other Major Purchases that were necessary, like our Fridge, which they knocked a bunch of Money off the Original Price and Financed it too at 0% Interest, so I bought the best Model they had on the Floor, why not?  *LOL*  We LOVE our New Fridge BTW and I'll pay it off early.  I just wanted to use the Bank's $$$ at No Interest while Keeping my Interest Bearing $$$ drawing me Interest the Bank will pay me instead.  Us Retired Bank Execs never actually 'Retire', we always think about all things Financial all of the time, it's habitual and Involuntary, I can't Help but do it.   *Smiles*

Okay, so another thing I do Involuntarily due to my 2nd Corporate Life I Retired from, but still think along the Criminal Law lines of all the time, when someone is doing something Illegal, I'm calculating what Felony Count and Sentence they're risking.  *Ha ha ha*  Shoplifters for example, leave your Grandparent or your Minor Children under 15 at Home if you're gonna do the Five Finger Discount.  Otherwise you turn {in Arizona}, a Class 1 Misdemeanor, now into a Class 4 Felony, for having a Vulnerable Adult or Vulnerable Child {contributing to the Delinquency of} in the presence of, or part of, your Illegal Act.  You would be appalled at how many Thieves and other Criminals involve their Elderly or their Children in the Commission of their Crimes.  It's sickening and I'm glad their Charges become more serious due to doing it.  The Two Above Pixs and Below Pix are my Welsh Male Cousins Two Children.  He's my Uncle's Youngest Son, that Uncle being my Mom's Big Brother.  

His Daughter looks like I did at her Age, that it's uncanny.  Coz my Cousin and I don't resemble each other very much at all, so most people wouldn't know we're Related.  But would know his Daughter is Related to me by our resemblances.  Becoz even my Kids and Grandkids, when they saw her Pixs, asked me if that was me when I was Younger!?  Well, No,  I never had the Maternal Family's Natural Blue Black Hair, and she often wears Blue Contact Lenses over her Grey Eyes.  Most of Mom's Family has either Grey or Green Eyes.   She Dyes her Hair a lot, so it's not always her Natural Color of Blue Black.   Her Brother Dyes his Lighter Color Too.  In North Wales most people have very Dark Hair, so to stand out, Dying it Lighter is popular it seems.  Plus, my Cousin's Son is in a Hard Rock Band, so looking Unique and Recognizable in the Music Industry is important. Both side of my Family had Blue Black Hair predominantly.   I got that stray Recessive Gene from a Maternal Great-Great-Grandparent who apparently was a Redhead.   So, me and just one other Maternal Relative got the Light Brown Hair from that Recessive Gene popping up.  

My Two Kiddos got it too, since, both The Daughter and The Son had Biological Fathers with Black Hair, but they got my Color Hair and that Recessive Gene.   Four of The Daughter's Five Kiddos got it as well, only Princess T got the Dark Hair of her Dad.  The Young Prince's Dad has Black Hair, but all Three of his Kids got Blonde-Brown.  Genetic Traits are fascinating.   And I get a kick out of my Cousin's Son, who is a HUGE Powerfully built Guy, like my Male Cousins are, and my Uncle was, having the Look also of a Jesus Look-Alike in the Face.  And playing Heavy Metal Music while looking like the Jesus of Artistic renderings.  Of coarse we know Jesus probably looking nothing like the Artistic Renaissance renderings of Him... Jewish People of that Region Jesus was in, look very much like the Arab People of that Region to this day.  My Cousin has Good Looking Kiddos and they're really Nice Young People too.  I'm glad they both Connected to me on FB like their Dad has over the Years.  They know they have American Relatives but have never met us.  Last time I saw my Welsh Cousin, we both were Tweens.  So, a lot of Time has passed.

Both his Kiddos do pull off the Lighter Hair Look well, even tho' it is the complete opposite of their Natural Color.  I would think it's difficult to get Blue Black Hair Dyed Lighter tho'.  Mom could only go Lighter with Dyes after her Blue Black Hair turned Silver prematurely, in her 30's.  Otherwise it was just too saturated a Natural Color.  The Son used to have difficulty Dying his Hair Lighter.  With being Hispanic and Indigenous he had high Color Saturation to his Hair, especially as a Teen and Adult, and trying to lighten it would turn it Orange like a Tomcat at first.  He went thru a Phase of wanting to be Blonde as a Tween, and his Sister would Tease him when he's ask her, "How do I Look?", and she'd say Sarcastically, "Like a Blonde Mexican Mestizo!"  And he'd get all Mad at her.  *LOL*

I've now received both of my 70-72 Yearbooks from my High School Overseas, so Rare to ever find them for Resale.  The 2nd one was Pristine, no Missing Pages, never Written on.  Of coarse I had to stand tall on the price, tho' the Seller did Negotiate a Discount with me that we both felt comfortable with accepting, which is always the best Negotiation to be successful, Happy Seller AND Happy Buyer.  I've wanted that Yearbook since before 1974, never seen one up For Resale ever, so I knew it was as Rare as the Seller said it was.  I Collect Books, Decor Hard Cover, Cookbooks Hard Cover, and Old Yearbooks, even from Schools I didn't attend but are Local or from places I once lived.  I've Resold Old Yearbooks and made good Money off them since people do look for their Old School Yearbooks, either to replace a Lost one, or, like me, couldn't afford one when they were in School.  My Family often couldn't afford things like that, so I usually Worked from an early Tween Age to try to Save Up and Buy the few I did manage to get, if I Earned enuf to afford one.

I'm the Keeper Of The Past in my Family and do Hope at least one of the Younger Generation can have the Baton Passed to them to be the Keeper Of Our Past, or just The Past in General, whether ours or not.  I think Preservation is important and sometimes even a Sacred Duty.  Too much History has been Lost, Whitewashed, Erased, already.  Let us not Lose any more of it or allow it to be fully compromised or just Forgotten and unscrupulously altered to suit Extremist Agendas.  To support their Lies and intentional Misinformation, and fabrications of Re-Writing the Past they pretend is Real or True.  The lack of Respect for the Past or tampering with accurate History worth Preserving, and having our Future Generations have unmolested Access to, is crucial if we are to Learn from it and not repeat Bad History or not Appreciate Good History.  I did another Deep Dive into some Old Photo Archives to dredge up some Beloved Blasts From the Family Past.  Time just gets away from us sometimes... so I'm Thankful to have Preserved the Present Moments of the Times in front of my Lens and Archive them.

I have a lot of great Past Inspiration from the Shops, Events and Shows my Industry Friends have done too, they weren't very good at Preservation of any of it.  They should have, it was worth Photographing to be continued Inspiration and Eye Candy from each Era the Industry has moved through over the many Years we've all be now doing it.  Everything has Changed of coarse, and we move with the times we're in, to stay relevant and re-invent whatever it is we're doing.  Some failed and had to fold, and some of those were even the Best of us, which is the Shame of it, they excelled in what they did.  Yet, sometimes that just wasn't enough to stay in Business.   I so Miss all those Shops that were, those Events and Shows that are no more.  What used to be offered and was abundant in the Industry, that now, has morphed into something not nearly as exciting IMO coz too much is relying on Mass Production and Cheap Copies to attract Shoppers who don't Care about Authenticity or Quality so much as just a "Look" for Right Now and in a Minute, will be Swiped Left and Replaced.  We're now such a Disposable Society that discards everything... and sometimes everyone too.

Even here in The Land Of Blog, I do Miss the Biz Blogs that used to take us along with them on the Trail of all the Shows, Events, their Picking Stories of Lore and Photographing the Thrill of their Hunts and their Hauls Scored.  I couldn't always go, coz I was in Full Time Caregiver Mode most of the time, Raising a 2nd Generation of smaller School Aged Grandkids, and couldn't take this Show on the Road.  So, going along vicariously with who took us there in their Blog Posts, was something I really looked forward to and added Locations to my Bucket List.  Sure, I wouldn't expect to cross any of them off, but I made The List all the same, just in case Opportunity met a New Reality, you never know?  *Bwahahaha, I Dreams BIG when I Dreams!*

  

It was around 114 all Day, brutal.  I spent most of my time getting Essentials Shopping done in Air Conditioning.  I wanna be stocked up, just in case I Need a Surgery coz then we don't have Transportation and would be reliant on Charity Rides or Home Deliveries.  Nurse Remi did the "Hold" and release until she's told we will require her Services again once The Man is done with the Cardiac Rehab.  It was Emotional, she's really bonded with our Family and us with her, we've made it transcend her Services to us and formed a Friendship we all Value.  She said she'll keep in Touch to make sure we're all doing Okay and I know she will.  The Man is a little nervous about Tomorrow when he has his Intake for Cardiac Rehab, he doesn't know what to expect.   I've got my extra Testing the next day and I'm Hopeful that illuminates what's going on inside of me better and not so vague as "A Mass".  But I know I'll have to undergo more than just another MRI to determine is it Fluid Buildup, Cyst, inflammatory, Benign or Malignant.  It can only indicate an Abnormal Growth, which, the first MRI, plus the Ultrasound, already did.

So, not sure what a 2nd MRI will reveal other than if it has gotten bigger, smaller, moved???   Dr. Google said not to worry about an MRI result unless your Doc flags them as Urgent, which, mine did, but, I still want less Vague findings to Feel anything about it one way or another.  The Clinic and the Lab did call me immediately and numerous times, it didn't take the usual 2-3 Weeks to get my results, they had them so soon I was very Surprised.  But I want my Doctor to contextualize her Findings.  I just want all the Testing done and over with, some of them aren't pleasant or comfortable, some aren't too bad.  I have to drive myself to and from them, so I don't Need any of them to be too invasive that I can't.  I didn't Need something like this to complicate a Schedule that's already often Too Much and can be Stressful for a whole lotta other reasons and other Loved Ones problems we're trying to get Services for and get addressed.  I'm less able to focus on all that if I'm Sidelined for any reason. 

When I picked Princess T up from Work they had 12 different Colored Fiestaware Mugs with the type of Art Deco style Handles I Collect them, so I bought all 12.  They had them in a "Lot" of more than one for a low Price, so I ended up paying less than a Dollar a Mug after my Senior Discount and Buying up all the Lots of them they had.  Having a Dozen different Colors Donated of those Mugs was really unusual.  And Yes, I could resell them at a really good profit Margin, but I've decided to Keep them.  I've Kept only some of my Fiestaware, just the Cereal Bowls, Coffee Mugs, and a couple of larger Platters, coz, I use all of those all of the time and didn't realize how much my Loved Ones really dug 'em and wanted to Inherit that.  I'd Sold Off a bunch and got pushback from them about it, so, we decided the Mugs, Cereal Bowls and larger Platters were what they would actually have Use for and wanted to Keep.  I do Love Fiestaware and all the Colors they come in which are so Festive and Timeless, they've endured since 1936 as a Line, which is impressive.  They look good Displayed, Kids Love picking their Fav Color to use, they're sturdy and utilitarian.

I also got a couple of really nice T-Shirts, one is Black with a huge Print of the Virgin Of Guadalupe Graphics on it, LOVE it, got it for me.  Got another Tie Dye Pokemon Tee to Sell at the Antique Mall, anything Pokemon Sells easily.  I also got myself some Leaf Green Cotton Capris.  And a Bathing Suit I can fit into and feel good about wearing.  Usually I Swim Nude when the Son and Grandson aren't Home, coz I don't Care if The Daughter, Granddaughter, and The Man are here, they know I do it and don't Care, it won't have them requiring Therapy if they go out there and see me Full Monty.  *Bwahahahaha*  Us Women really don't Care if we see other Women Nude, but, it wouldn't be appropriate to be Skinny Dipping and have The Son, Grandson or the next Pool Boy have to try to Unsee that.  *Bwahahahaha*  I Promised Brad, the Hot Pool Guy Owner, that I would not Skinny Dip again on Mondays when his Team, or him, show up to Clean our Pool.  *Winks*  You may recall his Sweet Young Twenty-Something Pool Boy who saw me, first Day on the Job, first Pool, I knew I was the reason he probably quit and wouldn't come back to do our Pool and Brad would now have to do it.  I apologized to Brad, just had forgot it was a Monday.  *Bwahahaha*

Of coarse to an Old Hippie, we have few, if any, inhibitions about Nudity or being Nude.   And I was Raised by a European Mom who thought Americans were too hung up on Nudity and should be more concerned about Exposure to Violence, I agree.   Europeans and Asians generally don't have Nudity Hang-Ups.   Anyway, I swam Nude earlier coz The Son was at Work and The Grandson is in New Mexico.  The Water was still Cooler coz it was early Morning and it felt wonderful and refreshing.   I'd like to do that every Morning, great way to start the day.  I do want and Need to get back to early visits to The Gym, when I can fit it in after taking Kiddos to Work and before Appointments.  I like going to The Gym too, if I get there early enuf to beat the Senior Swarm that comes in 9:30 a.m. when their Time Restrictions of a Medicare Paid Membership is lifted.   Below, my Fav Pix of my Mom with The Son when he was a Tween, it was at his Birthday Party, I think he was turning 13 or 14 as I recall.   

The Son looks a lot like my Dad's side of the Family, but also quite a bit like my Ex-Husband, his Biological Father.  But, judging by his Younger Half Brother, probably inherited more of our Genetic resemblances.  My Ex has an Older Son and a Younger Son who aren't mine, neither looks like The Son at all.  But he does resemble some of my Paternal Cousin's Kids a lot.  He has had some contact with his Younger Half Brother via Social Media, the Kid is now an Older Teenager and has had a tough row to hoe.  He was put into Foster Care at Age 2 due to Neglect and Abuse, by his Mother and my Ex... both of whom are unfit Parents and raging Alcoholics and Drug Addicts.  My Ex spent 27 Years in Maximum Security Prison for serious Crimes and is a true Psychopath/Sociopath, and a dangerous person, so, incarceration didn't change any of that... his other Son he Fathered suffered for that when he got out of Prison.  His Older Son was also put into Foster Care and then Adopted, for probably the same reason.  I left him when The Son was 6 Weeks Old, and got Divorced, I didn't want him around my Children or me, not Safe.

The Son wants no contact with my Ex for reasons of Safety of the whole Family.  It's Sad how messed up the Half Brother is, very damaged, probably going to end up as messed up as my Ex.   The Brother's Social Worker somehow found out my Address a Year or so ago, which I found disturbing, becoz she sent me Letters asking me to consider Fostering or Adopting the Child, who has no Biological Connection to me other than he and my Son happen to have the same Father.  Plus, by then he was around 16 and already in so much Trouble and so involved in disturbing Behavior, I wasn't taking that on and told the Social Worker not to release any of our information or she'd be Endangering my Family and I didn't appreciate that.  I shouldn't even be in this Teen's File, I'm no Relation to him, why doesn't she reach out to his Biological Family on his own Mother's Side?  Rather than the Ex-Wife of his Father?  That's was very Odd to me, made me realize, probably nobody was Fit to Parent a Child, or wanted said Child all his Life.  A lot of unfortunate Kids have no Fit or Caring Relatives whatsoever.

Anyway, I do think The Son is exercising Caution, but I don't think Contact with the Half-Brother would be at all beneficial.  Feeling Sorry for the Young Man is not going to change how he is and has become due to the Hand Dealt him that really has made him a mess at a very Young Age.  Already Drinking Using Drugs, being Violent, committing Crimes, he's just following in the Father's Footsteps actually and will probably end up very much the same in a vicious Cycle not broken.  Kids tend to Learn what they Live, sounds like Foster Families didn't do any better job with this Kid than the Biological Unfit abusive Parents they took him away from.   But, I also Believe Nature is part of it and not just Nurture.  The Son also gravitated to Substance Abuse, even tho' I Raised him not to touch Alcohol or Drugs.   I Raised him in even a Smoke Free Home, coz I abhor Cigarettes too and he was Asthmatic so I never allowed Smokers to Smoke inside my Home, still don't.  

But he picked up Smoking on the sly, as did The Daughter, who also became a Substance Abuser too, tho' she never saw that behavior at Home either.  Kids will ultimately do what they want to do once they're Old enuf to follow their Nature and rebel and do it, regardless of Nurture.  And The Young Prince, also has had some Substance Abuse Issues, his Paternal Side has a long History of it, and he knew I had Custody due to both Parents having Mental Illness and Substance Abuse so they were not allowed to Raise him... same with his Sister.  Princess T is more of the Mindset I Raised her to be, so, only One out of Four of mine heeded my Advice and Nurturing... so I'd say Nature won out with most of them, overruling Nurture.   All my Kiddos who didn't heed my Advice lament that they didn't and should have tho', so, there's that acknowledgement at least.   Getting Clean took a long time, getting Sober has been harder.

 

Speaking of Overcoming, The Niece is still on her successful Weight Loss Journey and I'm so Proud of how well she's transforming herself.  She had gotten very heavy after having her Three Children, now she's got her Girlish Figure back and looks Ahhhmazing!   She said her "Secret" has mostly been Stress, the Extreme Caregiving for her Dying Mom, so it's not a Diet recommended for anyone she said... and I do Hope, now that her Mom has Passed, she can manage to keep the Weight Off and Maintain a Healthier Lifestyle now she's had such Success?  I Love her sending me Pix Updates of how she's doing, it's been an incredible Transformation of her Body... she's always been a Beautiful Girl, but her excess Weight had caused significant Health Problems that really had me very concerned.  She was on an implanted Heart Monitor for well over a Year.  And she's a Young Mom of Three, so, she Needed to get better and be around for her Family a long time.  Below is her and her Dear Husband, whose a good Man, a good Hubby and Father, also great with his MIL, who they had Living with them for Years, and took Care of her 'til The End.  My Bestie Adored this SIL.

Below is my Brother, Covering yet another Ren Festival.  He's not supposed to be exerting himself doing any of this anymore, but said if he has to Go Out, he wants to Go Out in a Blaze of Glory doing what he Loves most, which is and always has been Professional Photography.  He's long been Retired from the Industry, due to Poor Health and long time Terminal Diagnosis he's just not succumbed to.  But, now he does it Gratis for his Friends and to promote what they do.   He wants to Give Back to a Community of Entertainers who have always not only been Good to him over the Years, but made him able to have his Successful Career in Hollywood as a Photographer of Models, Celebrities and various Entertainers of many Genres.   I agree that Paying it Forward has it's own Reward you can't put a Price on.  We do Reap what we Sow, in both Good Karma and Bad.   My Brother and I are strong proponents of Sowing Good Karma and doing the Right Thing, even when it's not always the Easy Thing, or most Popular Thing.  You can most likely Live Long and Prosper by doing that.

I had meant to get a bunch of Inventory Priced to take in to the Antique Mall Tomorrow Morning when I drop The Man off for his Cardiac Rehab Intake at the Hospital that is practically next door to where our Antique Mall is.  But, I never got it Priced, just gathered, so I may just take it in and Price it while there.  It's mostly Collectible Starbucks Mugs and a Las Vegas Then & Now Book, so, not a lot of Inventory, coz I don't have a lot of Room right now to cram a lot more Fresh Merch in there yet.  I don't even know how the last Pay Period ended up, but it had started out Strong so all Body Parts Crossed it remained Strong, I don't know tho'?  We're now gonna be 4 Days into the First Week of a Two Week Pay Period by the time I go in Tomorrow, so we'll see if this Pay Period began Strong, it did have Father's Day Sale Weekend to kick it off.   So, we'll see if folks bought Dad much while there???   Father's Day doesn't have as Strong a Showing as Mother's Day at an Antique Mall.  We get a lot of Male Customers tho', Oddly a lot of Men like our Showroom, and it's Contents, who knew? 

I see the Demographic coming in to our Showroom tho' and so it doesn't Surprise me, they clearly LOOK like our Tribe of Peeps.  *Winks and Smiles*   And that's precisely who we want to attract and Sell to also.  I know our Customer and I don't Care to alter our Aesthetic and water it down just to attract a Demographic we can't even relate to at all, and doesn't Share our Aesthetic, Style, or Lifestyle.  I prefer that Princess T and I stay Authentic to Self in what we offer, coz this isn't something we're trying to make a Living off of anyway.  It's a pleasurable Hobby we do Together as Gramma & Granddaughter,  and a way for us to Downsize what we Own, Collected and have Loved, and finding a New Owner who'll Love or Enjoy it as much as we have.   I see a lot of Vendors who twist themselves into knots, trying go fit with what will Move and Honestly, it's so random and fickle what people will Buy or want, you couldn't twist yourself sufficiently enuf even if you were a freakin' Circus Contortionist.   Hey, if you don't Dig what we're Selling, we're just not of your Tribe I guess, you'll have to find whatever it is you're seeking elsewhere.

As Princess T once famously and astutely said when she was just a Tween, and her Friends asked her Why she was always so "Different", she told them that she wasn't trying to or wanting to Conform or Fit In.  That she wasn't Interested in Following anyone's Trend being Set, she preferred Setting her own Trends.  Doing herself Authentically, not Being a Copy & Paste Basic Bitch, Be Extra and on Purpose.  Nuff said, and Ditto.   We like to go and People Watch, her and I, she said it's so Sad to her how many Young Women are so Copy & Paste, looking like Clones of one another, so that you don't even know who they really even are, and perhaps they don't either?!   She will ultimately have numerous Men and Women, of all Ages, come up to her and Sincerely Compliment her on how Good she Looks.  But she said she knows that few would venture to wear what she wears with Confidence, becoz they lack Confidence or the ability to show their Individuality by Wearing what they really Like, but are fearful of what people might Think?   Truth is, most folks aren't even Thinking of you... ever.  So, go Do You, this ain't no Dress Rehearsal, you got One Shot at YOUR Life, so Live it with Authenticity.

 

Even being Old, I still often get Compliments, Sincere ones, from all Ages and both Males and Females.   Who just come up randomly and say they Like what I'm wearing, or Like what I smell like and ask what it is, or Like my Dreadlocks and feel comfortable asking me about the Hairstyle. Questions they are Curious about, coz Secretly they Like the Style and Admire Dreads but know there are still Social Stigmas about so many things.   And there are, Stereotypes abound, many of them inaccurate or Old tired Tropes perpetrated to demean mostly or spread Lies and personal prejudices or biases.  I don't personally Care if you Like my Style, my Lifestyle, Who I am, What I choose to do, or Say... you Do You and I'll Do Me... and that's how it should be... for all of us.   When someone asks me what I Think about something they're Wearing, or have Done, or Decorated with, my response is, "What do YOU Feel about it?"   Becoz at the end of the day, that's all that really matters, isn't it?   What I Think about it doesn't matter coz it's not all about me.  And if you're Feeling Great about it, I Encourage THAT. 

 

And, if I do really Admire whatever it is, I will also tell you that as well, coz some of you really do have a way about you that is Admirable to me... mebbe won't be to everyone tho', and that's Okay.  You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time.  The sooner you Learn that the Happier and more Confident you are likely to be and quit trying to be a People Pleaser perhaps too?   And I Wish for you to have Contentment always in whatever Path in Life you choose to make Life's Journey upon... on this Great Adventure we're all on...

*******

May only Good Karma be yours my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian

It's A Tangled Web Woven

 Today would have been my Mom's Birthday, she was a 5th of July Baby.  My Oldest Brother-In-Law is a 4th of July Baby, he's now in his end of the 7th Decade around the Sun.  The Son had to be at Work by 5:00 a.m. and thought he got stung by a Scorpion again, this time on the Palm of his Right Hand, it felt numb yet tingly and was swollen.   He'd gone Swimming very late and been Outside a lot after Dark, so it could have happened out there rather than in his Room, but I checked, didn't find anything.  It's been a bad Year for them already and you never know what they do to get into the Home?  It's rare they come inside since their Food Sources of other Bugs are Outside, but every so often some infiltrate, perhaps hitching a ride in on something or sneaking in when a Door is opened... or some little crack exists to squeeze thru?  He wasn't having a Reaction, Thankfully.  So no trip to the ER was necessary.  *Whew*  His Sister has to be to Work in Chandler early this Morning too.  I don't relish driving that far during Morning Rush Hour and with the Freeway Closures in the East Valley right now.  

   

Above and Below is our Neighbor Old Tom on Father's Day with his newest Grandson.  The Child that his Elderly Son TJ fathered by Amber's 
Young Daughter.  She's in her 20's, TJ in his 60's, Old Tom in his 80's.  The Baby thankfully is healthy and adorable.  TJ and the Young Wife are living with TJs Elderly Parents.  I can't understand why a Girl that Young would fall in Love with and Marry a Man 3x Older than her and begin a Family, when he has nothing to offer?  He's already got Grandchildren, all of which are Older than this Child!  But, Old Tom and Sylvia have Welcomed Amber's Daughter into their Family and Home.  Even tho' she's a Special Needs Adult, she seems to be doing a good job of being a Parent, which was a huge relief.  

TJ allegedly has Cancer, we don't really know, he's been prone to fabrications before that were extreme Lies, but you'd Hope nobody would pretend to have Cancer?!   He is already a Senior, on Social Security and can't Work, so I don't know how much longer he'll even be around for this Child regardless of his Medical Status, he'd be around 80 before this Child reaches Maturity?  And his Parents are in their 80's now, and he's always been very dependent on them, as has his Brother Rob too who also lives there with the Elderly Parents.  So Julissa will end up Single Parenting this Baby before he's Grown.  It caused an Estrangement between her and Amber, and with Julissa's Dad too, who feel they'll likely end up having to finish helping their Daughter Raise the Baby and that it's not a Healthy Relationship, there is and has been a DV Situation with every Relationship TJ has been in.  Amber doesn't even get to see him, the 1st Grandchild she has... its just a complex messy Situation and it's a tangled Web woven.  

This Week's Calendar is already quite full, Nurse Remi's last Tuesday visit will be this Week, I'll have to tell her to close us out as Clients.  He can't have his Hospital Cardiac Rehab covered by Insurance if any Home Help is still coming.  That seems ridiculous, but Insurance disqualifying factors are always ridiculous and absurd, anything so they don't have to Pay out.  No wonder Luigi Mangione has a Groupie following, people Hate Insurance Carriers and how many folks Insurances are causing to Die to save Money. I'm not saying it's Right he has Fans for Murdering someone in Cold Blood, but an Insurance CEO right now of a Major Carrier denying Claims, is about as despised as Criminal decisions against the Public by Bad Politicians is.  So, they are Targets for Assassins and vengeful folk who may have Lost someone Dear due to a rejected or denied Medical Claim, coverage Dropped, or refused Treatment.

I'm not at all happy that United Healthcare dumped us and all our Maricopa County Senior Veterans who Served our Country admirably and are being Targeted.  That CEO Targeted and Murdered was a United Healthcare one and they have Denied Coverage now and involuntarily dropped over a Million who were Covered by them previously and now found themselves Uninsured and scrambling and desperate to be picked up by another Carrier.  But it won't drive me to a Killing Spree, but you never know when someone just snaps or wants Martyrdom to prove a Point and be Militant, an Activist and a Revolutionary in a Big Splashy way either.   Plus, Luigi was Young and Handsome, Groupies always flock to those even if they are terribly disturbed and depraved Human Beings who committed heinous Acts of violence or Evil.  He's developed a Cult Status and following, but, America is really Into their Cult Devotions and Infatuations right now, it's how MAGA was Born.

Anyway, then The Man has his Cardiac Rehab Intake and Registration the next day and I have my 2nd MRI the day after that to take a look again at that Mass they found.   Busy Week, no time to even hit the Gym again.  I haven't been able to squeeze that in with any consistency at all, and I want to and need to.   I need to get in to the Antique Mall too and bring in more Inventory and Work my Spaces.   They could be in shambles for all I know, since, I haven't been in to foof and maintain anything either.  I don't even know how I Closed Out this past Pay Period on Saturday Night?  I had started out very well, so if Luck will have it, that held and perhaps Father's Day wasn't a bust there?  They used to do a lot for Mother's Day and Father's Day, having Raffles for Primo items to Win to Stimulate Trade, like Gas Grills for Father's Day.  The Man won ours at the Mall Years ago.   Handing out small amounts in Mall Gift Certificates, and T-Shirts with the Mall Logo and Advertisement.  Now they do virtually nothing.  So it doesn't make it a destination for a Special Day you'd be Celebrating.

We didn't even go, I couldn't see unloading and then reloading up The Man or popping him in one of our complimentary Wheelchairs, just to see what they might be doing for Father's Day?   I heard via FB they did do 15% Off, not a Big Deal, mebbe it was well received, mebbe not?  They did it for the 20th and 21st at least, so all of Father's Day Weekend.  Sale Days are hit and miss, sometimes you do well during them, sometimes they fall flat, coz 15% Savings isn't a big incentive to most Shoppers.   And many of our Competitors offer bigger Discounts, or Standing Discounts all of the time, like Military and Senior Discounts, which our Mall should do, and could do, Vendors regularly request we begin doing it, but Management don't and won't consider doing.  I've never understood Why, coz even Chazzas know it's a huge Draw and increases Sales easily and consistently.  Even SAVERS has Customer Appreciation Day every Thursday, Senior Day on Tuesdays, Military Day on Wednesdays, Half Price Day on Mondays.

The GOODWILL quit doing their regular Half Price Day like they used to do Weekly.   Now they do mebbe one Day a Quarter and don't Advertise it very well either, so I never know when they're actually doing it.  They do still have Tuesday Senior Day and Sunday Military Day tho', and that Coupon Download for 20% Off via E-Mail.  I rarely go to GOODWILL now like I used to tho', I may around Halloween, coz they have had good Seasonal Merch and Halloween being my Fav Holiday, I trawl all of the spots that might have good Halloween offerings.  Even if just to see it all and not need to Buy any of it.  SAVERS keeps certain areas with small offerings of Seasonal Year Round.  So there's an area in front where they always have Antiques/Collectibles, Halloween, Christmas, Easter Merch, that has been Donated.   The Granddaughter has Worked Misc. {the Staff call it Working Missel, Smiles}, she likes doing that area, but it's not her regular assigned Section.  Her regular assigned Sections are Adult Clothing, Men and Women's.

I started a load of Laundry, Princess T may have to finish it for me and watch her Grandpa coz nobody else will be Home today.  It's her Day Off, but she doesn't mind Caregiving for her Grandpa, he behaves for her and really won't require a lot for her to do for him until we all return Home.   The Son should get Home first since he went in so early, and The Daughter is going in earlier too, so we should be Home by 1:00 p.m..  The Young Prince said since the Small AC in the Art Studio doesn't make it very comfortable in there, he may spend some of the Summer in New Mexico, which, so long as he makes any Appointments Social Security set up for him, I don't mind.  I'll just tell the Caseworker that until and unless he's Approved, extended Family must help me out with him coz Financially it's a hardship for us on our Fixed Income to cover all his Care and Needs, which is absolutely True.  

 And until they are Divorced, Allen is Family taking on some of the responsibility of Care and financial Support.  It's necessary, we're spread really thin Economically now with a Family of Six here and our Income of Pensions, Disability and Social Security covering the majority of expenses.  Princess T and The Son only make Minimum Wage and don't get Full Time Hours.  The Daughter has sporadic Work cleaning Friends Homes or Washing and Grooming their Dogs.   I don't have to tell Social Security who in the Family gives me respites and chips in, and will just be Vague if pressed, to say another Adult Grandson is helping SOME, when it's absolutely necessary for me to catch a Break, also True.  I do Plan to Press Social Security Hard this time to provide Services and Benefits to him, he is not okay and it's not okay for The System to forsake him completely.  This Flavor of the Month Disability parsing out of Services and Benefits is highly discriminatory to the Disabled Community.

I fail to see how a Seriously Mentally Ill person applying can be rejected or denied, but if they had a Developmental Disability, they'd be approved for everything?   And their Families Qualify for all kinds of Services and Financial Aide, often in the Home.  If it's Needed it shouldn't matter and be equitable.  You shouldn't have to have the Preferential Disability of the Moment to Qualify and be Approved.  The Young Prince now takes Anti-Seizure Medications too, coz he was hit by a Car while in New Mexico some Months ago and it knocked him down and he hit his Head.  It was a hit and run incident, with no known Witnesses able to identify the Vehicle or get a License Number.   So he never got Justice or be able to file an Insurance Claim against the Driver.  If they even were Insured, who knows why they'd hit a Pedestrian and take off like that and not check to see if they killed or injured a Human Being?! 

 He said Police felt he was Fine, coz the Seizures didn't start right away after the Head Injury, so he appeared not to have been badly injured or hurt.  But he never had them before hitting the back of his Head from the hit and run Accident.  So, we did put down that along with the Serious Mental Illness, he has some Traumatic Brain Injury from being hit by a Car and takes the Anti-Seizure Meds now too, along with Psyche Meds, coz otherwise he'd have Seizures happening more frequently.  The Seizures have made his level of function worse, so I'm concerned about that if he keeps having them.  And it's yet another reason he's Unemployable too, being SMI, having constant Hallucinations and random Psychotic Episodes, AND Seizures, well, that's a lot of Employer Liability on any Job.  Anyway, we'll see what Social Security evaluates him and if its "Disabled Enough" this time? 

 The Disability Payments would not be nearly enuf to Support him, or live Independently even IF he could, which he can't, it never is a livable amount, but, it's better than Nothing.  Just $994 Monthly, which is Arizona SSI Maximum, wouldn't even cover Rent anywhere to be even Housed.  But, it would cover some Expenses for his necessities and essentials every Month so that we didn't have to and that's huge for us.  He can never Drive, so it would also buy him a Monthly Bus Pass or other mode of Transportation in the event I can't take him somewhere.  And since Medicinal MJ isn't covered by Medicaid, he could afford that, which helps with his Schizophrenia a LOT.  It's so beneficial for some forms of Mental Illness, Brain Damage, Alzheimers, PTSD, Anxiety, Seizures, Glaucoma, and such, that I don't know why it isn't covered if you get a Prescription for using it Medically?   Probably coz Federally it's still considered Illegal... but we all know Big Pharma Lobbyists pressing Politicians is the ONLY reason it's not Legalized for Medicinal benefits.

A new "Buc-ee's" has Opened nearby and folks are losing their Minds to go there, causing enormous Traffic Jams around it, glad I don't have to navigate that mess, it's West of us.  *Whew*  I'm heading East down the Freeway this Morning, but it will still be Morning Rush Hour, which will be bad enuf heading into the City and clear across the Valley to Far Eastside.  I got all Chores done and The Man Medicated before we leave tho, so he's happily watching his Programs now and Princess T will check in on him and make sure he has Lunch.  We've got Leftovers she can reheat for him.  I'm looking forward to the day coz it is some "Me Time" for Four Hours while The Daughter does her Housecleaning Job.  She'll be sending some of the Money to her Kids in Mexico to help them out.  I'm still hoping to convince her to apply for SSI again.  Mebbe if her Son gets Approved it will make her feel more at Ease about having a Caseworker?  Being a Paranoid Schizophrenic and having had really bad Experiences in the Past, she doesn't Trust Caseworkers or the Government at all to have her best Interest at Heart.  She isn't Wrong.

Anyway, she Adores the Friends she does little paying side Jobs for and she lets them Pay her whatever they can afford to.  It's her only Income and of coarse it's usually less than $300 a Month, not sustainable Income at all, but, it's something and Helps her Self-Esteem and to have Purpose.  She can send some Money to her Younger Kids and Buy some of what she wants or Needs with her own Money.  That makes her Feel a little more Independent.  She doesn't want for everything she requires and is Essential to her Survival to be on our Dime too.  She's in her Mid 40's now and only got SSI for a brief time in her 20's, so we Hope that Old Case File will perhaps Re-Qualify her Eligibility, we just don't know?  And it was a complete Cluster Fuck last time she did receive SSI coz I was initially set up to be her Trustee, then her Caseworkers decided she was Competent Enough to manage her own Finances, which, she wasn't, at all.  

She was supposed to immediately Notify them whenever she was Institutionalized, coz during that time their Benefits Cease, their Benefits back then were also reduced considerably if they were Homeless.  Pretty much if they weren't Housed and Living on the Streets, Social Security felt they needed only Half of their Disability Income, go figure!!!  *Eye Roll* Like that would ever remotely get them into a better Situation then, receiving only half of what was already an unlivable Income that wouldn't cover Rent anywhere anyway.  Way back then SSI was around $600 a Month and they'd cut it to just over $300 Monthly IF she Notified them of Homelessness, and $0 a Month if she Notified them of any Institutionalization she involuntarily had.  Which, she didn't.  So then they'd Notify me and say she Owed them Money coz she failed to Notify of being either in a Mental Institution or Penal Institution. *LMAO*  Duh!  You've got an SMI Adult who can't take Care of themselves and you expect them to be Responsible... or understand and comply with these Rules you Speak of!

  What a Joke, so, I'd tell them, why you calling me then?  You are the ones who claimed she was Competent to handle her Affairs and took me off as her Trustee, and she's so NOT.  She's been, and will always be, Non Compos Mentis... so, Good Luck with that and I Hope it all Works Out for ya.  Bye.  *Winks*  I think she once owed them about Nine Grand, and for all I know mebbe she still does?   And so she thinks they might Kidnap her and involuntarily Commit her somewhere if she goes in for any Assistance now, and hold her for Ransom?  *Le Sigh*  That's how a Paranoid Schizophrenic Mind Works, she tells me she "Sees what they're doing with her Real Eyes"... and I just have no Words when her "Real Eyes" are Seeing what none of the rest of us ever Sees.  *Winks and Shrugs, whaddya gonna Say or Do?*   She often sees some kinds of Invisible Worms crawling up Walls and shit with her "Real Eyes" and she'll go into a Cleaning Frenzy to rid us of them.  Her Son just puts Chalk Hieroglyphs and Symbols everywhere to Protect us from what he Sees.  I've got them fucking EVERYWHERE.  At least I HOPE its Chalk?  *Le Sigh*  Well, at least it's not Excrement...

And then when his Mom and I were in there Yesterday, while he's gone, to try to make it more Safe and Sanitary in there... she Sees this, didn't even Need her "Real Eyes"... *winks*... and, it's "New"!  Mom, what's THAT?!   Look, it has some of your New Kitchen Knives with the Rainbow Handles sticking in it's Head, that's Scary!!!   Yes, Yes it is, but he'll probably call it just his Art, so I don't know what to tell ya about it.  *Bwahahahaha*  I wonder Who it represents, she Mused?  Well, it looks like a Guy's Head, so... I'm glad it at least doesn't have Dreadlocks... and we both Laughed Maniacally coz we're used to Dark Gallow's Humor concerning the disturbing aspects of Serious Mental Health Issues that just Manifest in Daily Life.    I do Believe that's my Missing Pizza Cutter up there sticking on the Left Side of that Mannequin's Head?!   And one of my Antique Antler Handle Knife Sharpeners imbedded in there too I see now!?  *Bwahahaha*  Yes, it's Disturbing, is it the MOST Disturbing thing he's ever done since he was only 7 and Diagnosed, not by far.  And this is Why he Needs Services and they can't tell me he's not Unwell "Enough".

And Why his Uncle hesitates to even go in there to assist us coz he said it gives him too much of a "Silence Of The Lambs" Hannibal Lecter Vibe... or worse, the Guy with the Moths and the Lotion.  *LMAOROTF*  That Day he did venture in there a few feet in with us, saw this, and said What The Hell is THAT?!  Then said if a Moth fucking flew out of anywhere, he was SOOO Out of there!!!  *LMAO but he was not Joking really.*  He was also thinking upon Christian Bale in "American Psycho"... and he really did then have to back out coz he was Freaked Out and said are we Sure that Allen was the one who was the more Unstable One of those Two?    *LOL and Shrugs*

 I can't say for certain, but, definitely his Nephew is NOT Stable even on all his Medications and even IF he does come with a Check eventually to help Care for him.  The Grandson's Art can be Beautiful or Disturbing, but, it's always Madly Creative and can be Controversial... Art can and should be tho'... you should Feel something to behold it, whatever that Emotion will be.  A lot of Madly Creative People are quite Mad, or close to being so, Creative Genius can sometimes look like Creative Insanity at times.   Above is an Old Pix of a Naked Ponch Doll that a Vendor Friend once had at our Antique Mall and cracked us up so much that it never got Old... just the Look on that Doll's Face, with also being Naked... with Vintage GI Joe beside him who was a Dead Ringer for Chuck Norris... was so inappropriately hilarious, that I Smile to this day!!!  I used to have a Mad Celeb Crush on Erik Estrada, I should have bought this damned Doll from my Friend, never saw another one, at least not another opportunity to Buy another Naked Ponch.   And what did she have on it, Ten Bucks?  *Bwahahaha*

  And I Share these nuggets so General Public knows, in part, what Families of Loved Ones with Serious Mental Health Disabilities go thru every Day of their Lives, and often with Zero Help or Benefits for said Loved One, no matter how Bad Off they are.  And it Needs to be said... and not just on the 10 O'Clock News when one of the few who are Violently unhinged, and nobody ever Helped them or their Family, goes Off Rails completely.  And I just KNOW that Social Security will NOT wanna TRY to Find Alternative Placement for our Grandson, so, they better just push his Application thru and start sending Checks...  I do Plan to show all Evidence I compiled to whatever Caseworker is Assigned and make that Person responsible for any In Home Care beyond what we can supply for him to keep his Living Space Safe and Sanitary Enough as well.  I can't often go in there without risking falling and Breaking a Hip... coz, literally you're climbing like a Mountain Goat over whatever is in piles on the Floor!  God knows WHAT?!

LATER:  We're back from the Job, she wants The Daughter to come back on Tuesday but I can't take her for any of the rest of this Week, Calendar is full.  As it is I turned down Two Shifts at the Antique Mall that the Manager offered me, due to my Calendar having no room for me to even accept any Work.  Both of us could use the Money {her} and Comped Space Rent {me}, I don't know if she can find a Friend to take her all the way to Chandler or not?  Or to hang around for Four Hours while she Works and then go get her?  It's a Big Ask.  Her Friends often take her to small Jobs on this side of the Metro Area coz we all live over here.  Right now she's not accepting Jobs nearby coz of that new Buc-ee's causing enormous Traffic Jams Westside right now.  It backed up Traffic so badly on the Westbound Freeway and surrounding Surface Streets that it made the News.  I Hope it won't cause that permanently?  Mebbe the Novelty will settle down to a reasonable level, but if it doesn't, that level of gridlock around the place was not expected or handled well.   If it causes permanent massive disruptions, the Community will regret it being there.

The City had to implement a massive detour for 5-6 Miles around the Grand Opening.   Commuters trying to get to their Work and other Businesses in the area are suffering the backlash and will for Weeks, it is projected.   I'm sure fucking glad it wasn't built closer to us, but even coming Home, we had to ditch the Freeway Miles earlier coz of the Freeway backup due to the place.  Anyone heading to Cali via the Freeway would also have to take alternative Routes off the Freeway and around the area it is negatively impacting.   Just like Data Centers are causing problems around Communities they are moving into, something like this place are too, gonna cause permanent disruptions to Life directly around them.  Do the Positives outweigh the Negatives to what it impacts?

  So, a lot of Residents and other Businesses are not at all Happy when one is approved to move in.  I don't think long term Negative impacts to Communities is being considered.   Since it was 113 Today it's problematic to get stuck in Traffic that doesn't have adequate Traffic Control.  They had to warn Commuters in the area to stock plenty of Water and Snacks in their Vehicles, so there wouldn't be Emergencies transpiring!!!  I do Hope it works out, the 120 Gas Pumps and promised lower prices of Gas might inspire some Gas Wars to bring down Arizona's inflated Prices compared to most of the rest of the Nation.  Ours is some of the highest, Cali is much higher of coarse, but everything there always is and their Wages and Social Service Programs pay much more than Arizona.  Of coarse folks are bailing from their State due to high Cost of Living being unaffordable for most.  I'm concerned that will happen here too, it's already unaffordable for most.  Vast Migration and Exodus happens when nobody can afford Essentials or Jobs don't pay enuf or Unemployment is higher.

I've inundated this Post with Family Pixs... coz I got loaded up with them and they're ALL my Favorite.  *Smiles*   The Oldest Daughter never did contact her Dad for Father's Day, but, in a way, he now sometimes doesn't remember anyone who isn't in his Daily Life, so it was mercifully a Non-Issue for him.  He still had a good Day being indulged by who is in his Daily Life, so that's what Counts.  *Whew*  He used to wait for a Call that often never came unless I pressed her secretly, hey, you should Call your Dad.  I think she never knows what to say to him anymore since Calls can be awkward now, especially if he's unsure who you even are, in his current Condition.  So, I try not to be harshly judgmental or critical of Family and Friends that just find it to be too uncomfortable or painful for them.  Everyone Deals with things in their own ways.  And some don't wanna Deal with things at all, that's their own way of Coping I guess.

Even this precious One, if he were to see her Pix, would ask me Who she is?  I'd tell him it's a Great-Grandchild of ours, and which Granddaughter is her Mom.  But he wouldn't remember who that Grandchild was either, even with a Photo.   And frankly, he never speaks of the Oldest Daughter ever now, so I don't know if he recalls her either anymore?  So far, everyone in the household, he knows who we are still.  *Whew*  But most of our Friends who are still Local, since we rarely see them coz we don't get out much or Socialize, he can't recall, so asks me to remind him Who they even are.   I try to weave a small Story about each Person to help him remember more about them and how or why he knows them.  But, sometimes he'll ask again what we JUST did, or are we gonna do it and we already did it, so I don't know how much is sticking?  *LOL and Le Sigh*

As you can see I got tonnage of Pixs of The Birthday Girl who just turned Two.  I do Wish all of the Grandkids and Great-Grandkids were closer so we could see them in Person and not just via Social Media, you miss so much.  Relationships forged would be easier and more Connected too I think.  Or not, you never can tell really I guess, but I would think it could be with closer proximity?   I don't know if my Brother and his new Connection with his Oldest Son meant a Father's Day Call or not, he didn't say and so I didn't ask, just in case it did not.  His Son is going to be in Cali in a couple Months on Business and Promised to see him and I Hope that plays out coz my Brother may not have long in this Earthly Realm.  So, if his Son truly wants some quality Time for a last time, now would be his Chance, perhaps his only one.  You're a long time Dead as my Parents used to always say.

One good thing about my Adventure in the East Valley for the extra Work that The Daughter had, we found a new GOODWILL near where her Client lives.  I didn't even know it was there, just a Block away, even tho' I'd used the CHASE and WELLS FARGO Banks in the same Parking Lot!!!  Funny how you can miss things hiding in Plain Sight!  The Daughter spied it as we were making a Bank Deposit of some of her Earnings.  And, I found a $499 one of those Stationary Ellipse Fit things, that The Man Needed!!!   This one even has the detachable part for your Arm Exercises, for only $37!!!  So now I don't have to ask the VA if they'll provide one.  It has an LED Display that isn't Working, but we don't Need it to and it might just require Batteries, which seem to fit underneath the Equipment, there's a compartment you can Open which I'm assuming might be how the LED Part gets Charged Up?  I sat in a Chair at the GOODWILL and tried it out tho', works perfectly and in excellent shape.  Googled what they Retail for... no way I could have afforded one this nice for full price.

This will be good for me too on days I can't get to the Gym, which, is fairly often lately.   And, in he event I require some Home Rehab myself in the Future too.  I like to prepare for any unforeseen Situations and Challenges that the Future might hold and would be beneficial to be adequately prepared for.   The Young Prince called me to Check In on ME this time... he's Freaking Out about "The Mass", as I knew he might, so I told him I will Promise to let him know what new Test Results reveal about it, we just don't know right now what it is, size, or any threats or complications it could pose health-wise.   It does sound ominous, I ain't gonna Lie, and my Doc's Office AND SimonMed who did the Imaging previously were blowing up my Phone for Two Days about it... so they definitely had a sense of Urgency, but, mebbe they always do when any Testing comes back with anomalies or is Positive.  

The Breast Exam was Negative and Normal, so that was Good News, The Girls being A1.  *Winks*   I've had False Positive with them before, which required Biopsies, that went Badly and got Infected.  Why?  Due to the Negligence the Doc who performed them, forgetting to stitch up the Surgical Incision she made which was the size of a fucking Dime and she just bandaged up, leaving the wound Open, I'm a Diabetic, so that didn't go or Heal Well!  So, I'm always leery about even Elective Procedures coz sometimes now it's like Cattle Call with Surgeries of any kind, they're performing so many in a row, fatigue, negligence, hastiness, and carelessness can happen.   I never think it's beneficial to have any Procedure where they say it was a Success, yet the Patient Died, you know?  *Eye Roll*   So, I don't do Elective shit very often for that reason, if it's necessary, absolutely, do it, if it's not, let's just NOT.  I've had an Elderly Friend Die having a routine Colonoscopy, he was in perfect Health, they found no anomalies during the Procedure, but, he Died due to having the Elective routine Procedure.  Even Celebrities have, like Joan Rivers.

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Life can be a tangled Web woven... Dawn... The Bohemian