I'm Very Extra & Not Basic... Yet Also a Broke Bitch... At The Same Time

 The Son was in a Bad Head Space by Thursday Night and sat in his Room listening to Head Banger Music too loudly and yelling at the Screen and ranting up a Storm, as if he was in an argument with a Real Person in his Room!  These Family Emergencies are wearing on everyone.  I finally had to tell him to turn it all off, since, his Niece has Work early and I've got to wake early to take her to Work, nobody could have slept thru that shit!  And the real intense Head Banger Music sounds positively Demonic and Insane, no Wonder most of their Band Members are Dead prematurely!   Judging by their dreadful Music and guttural primal screams, they were not wanting to be Alive anymore and perhaps Mercifully Death came for them!?!  Such Tortured Souls, it's disturbing!  I don't think listening to that makes a Bad Head Space better! 

So, anyway, once he turned it off then I couldn't try to go to Sleep, so I caught up on some Blogs and decided to start this Post.   I refused to turn on the TV all Day and partially had read an Autobiography of a favorite Female Comedian, Ms. Pat.  It's a tragic Life Story of what all she's been thru, but infused with her brand of Dark Humor, which, I can appreciate.  So, it could make you Laugh and Cry.  I was Surprised it was hard cover coz I ordered it Online off E-Bay and it was inexpensive so I thought it was soft cover.  My other hard cover Decor Book I got at a very deep discount off E-Bay too, arrived as well.  I'd seen it at the recent "Sweet Salvage" Event at Retail Price and got it Online instead at 70% Off with Free Shipping.  Booyah!  I'm loathe to pay full Retail, especially for a Book, they're priced in the Stratosphere now if you pay Retail.

So, anyway, due to The Man's whole slew of recent Health Emergencies and being uncooperative for the Hospital Staff, the Family are duly Anxious about him.  Nothing I can say or do to ease their levels of Anxiety coz frankly, I got enuf of my own to quell.  I hope we will not be having him Yo-Yo in and out of ER's and Hospitals in rapid rotations now?  It's taking a Toll, I've spent more time in the ER, Urgent Care, Hospitals, Caseworkers Offices, and Docs Offices this Month than I have at Home!   Each Family Member has taken their turn to have a Medical or Dental Emergency and Crisis, except me, so, it's just been a LOT all at once, either consecutively or even concurrently.   So 2026 thus far has not been stellar.   And the National and World Stage has been abysmal as well since that Regime was installed.  What else could go Wrong?

Amber called me to see if I'd heard from The Daughter, nobody knows how to reach her, I hadn't, they'd broken another Phone so have none now.  Amber said her new Grandson is Beautiful, but she of coarse feels very conflicted about all of that, for good reason, even tho' it is her first Grandchild.  The Parents haven't even Posted a Pix yet of the Baby on their Social Media, they just Post random shit, TJ has some Pixs of somebody's Horses instead and him in his new Jeep!  And I stand corrected, I always thought TJ was the Baby of the Family of Sons, he isn't, Rob is 2 Years Younger according to their FB Profiles.  So, my Kiddos were Right about that and I was Wrong.   One is 65 and the other is 63.   Anyway, 65 is too damned Old to be Fathering a Baby, especially by a 25 Year Old!  I'm glad the Baby was Born healthy tho'.  *Whew*

I didn't end up going to The Gym this Morning after dropping Princess T off at Work, I'm tired and would rather sit here Blogging, tho' mebbe going later might appeal to me more when I feel more rested?  I can't motivate myself to do a Workout when I already felt spent Physically.  *LOL*  Lately I've been speaking to the Friends of my Adult Kids more than I've been speaking to anyone else, they've all been so concerned about The Man and I, Bless their Hearts.   I look Busted lately, so the strain is showing outwardly now even if I remain Stoic.  Internally I feel inner turmoil going on that has disrupted my Calm considerably.  That's why I initially thought a Workout might quiet some of that?  It might, which is why I MIGHT do it later?  We'll see.  *LOL*

I just Hope when I visit The Man in Hospital sometime Today he's in a better Head Space than he was?  Once he's made up his Mind he doesn't wanna be somewhere, he's gonna be a Pain in their Ass.  And I don't want him released prematurely coz Pneumonia isn't anything to trifle about.  I've known so many folks, especially older ones, who had a successful Surgery and then Died from the complications of contracting Pneumonia afterwards from having had the Anesthesia during Surgery.  It's due to the Anesthesia and Pain Medication administered that cause shallow breathing and leads to Lung collapse {Atelectasis} and Fluid buildup.  The Man already has advanced COPD and Lung Issues, so he's higher risk for any Procedure, which is why they hesitate to do any.  He doesn't even do Elective Procedures anymore due to the risks being high.

But, when you're having a Heart Attack and would Die anyway, they must take the risk.  So, I did know he could end up with complications even if the Surgery is successful and why we kept a close Eye on his Recovery afterwards.  The Moment we don't have a Peace about it, or his Docs don't, back in he has to go.  And then he has to do what he's supposed to do whether he likes it or not.  And right now he's definitely not liking it and is being contrary and unlovely.   He's a very Nice Guy until he is NOT.  Then he can be a real crusty Old Devil.  *LOL*  About the only one he won't Square Off with at that point is me, becoz I can be a crusty Old Devil of all Devils myself, if you want to take me there.  Usually he does not.  *Bwahahahaha*

I've been telling him all the Grandkids and Great-Grandkids are sending us Pixs, and showing him, when I go to visit.  Giving him something to feel like he should Live for still, coz, I don't want him giving up, giving in, giving out.  I think he's still got some Miles left in him, but he's gotta Want to stay on this side of Dirt.   Family is big with him too so I know that can be an encouragement to Fight the Good Fights when he has to.  I know he's Battle Weary tho' and just wants some Rest.  That's when folks tend to Give Up The Ghost as the Elders used to call it when I was Growing Up.  Now I know what they meant.   So, when I interact with The Man about his Health matters, no matter how daunting they are, I come at him like a Marine Drill Sargent.   He responds to that instinctively when given Orders rather than Requests.  *Winks*

This Older Sister of Princess T has been sending us loads of Pixs and I just Love it.  I'd like for her Family to come to the U.S. for a visit when things Calm down, if they ever do?  But, I wouldn't want them trying that now, for obvious reasons.   She's been all over the World and actually went to College in Spain when she was Graduated from High School.  Her Husband is very successful and at one time they were gonna take in one of the Younger Sisters of the Trio Saint Maria was Raising, who is the most of a handful, the Middle One.  When she was giving Saint Maria too much to Deal with.  That one has settled down now and gone back to live with the other Two Sisters.  She has a Boyfriend who cares about her a lot and seems to be a good influence, I'm relieved.

  Out of The Daughter's Trio in Mexico, it was the middle one most like her Mama in that she was The Wild Child.  I was the most concerned about Inheriting that one to finish Raising.  *LOL*  This much Older Sister and the other Sisters are very Grounded and Mature/Responsible, just like Princess T is.  So, I had no worries about them doing Right and being all they Hope to be in Life.  But the Wild One I knew was prone to reckless decisions and she is Special Needs and probably has Mental Health Issues just like some of these others do.  I'd have to sometimes get on the Phone to her when The Daughter would get Calls from Mexico about her, and read her the Riot Act.  It was funny really coz she doesn't speak or understand English, but my Tone and displeasure were enuf.  *Bwahahaha*

All the Kids are reverential to their Elders and they never want me to be upset or displeased with them and they were Angels to their ailing Abuelita Saint Maria.  Being her Caregiver until she Died at Age 90 and she was one requiring Extreme Caregiving by then and those Children did it and they were all just still Minors!!!  Keeping it together and holding it down with no responsible Adult in the Household by then.  It was the Wild One who was most protective of the whole Family when their Dad was messing up and making Life very dangerous.  She'd stand up to anyone, even serious Bad Actors, and even just as a Young Teenager!!!  She's Fearless and shows she has no Fucks to give when protecting her Loved Ones from anyone.  I wonder where she got that from?  *Winks and Bwahahaha, it must be Genetic and at least One of us per Generation is afflicted with it?! Smiles*

  Very much like her Mama and I, that kind of Crazy garners Respect there too I guess, coz even tho' things went very sideways for their Dad, in front of the Children no less when he got shot and abducted that time, his Elderly Mother and the Kids were spared coz that Wild One stood her Ground like a Seasoned Soldier!   She even covered their little Half Sister, who was 5 at the time, with her own Body!!!   This is why I tried desperately back then to get them out of the Country to Safety and here to live with me.  To no avail, our side of the Border just tried to extort a lot of Money that we just didn't have.  Yes, OUR side of the Border, not the Mexican Side, I had no problems with that side being that Corrupt when trying to get those Grandkids!   Go figure!!!  I have no Love for ICE, they've been Corrupt, and recruited too many Thugs, it's not New.

I got Scammed on an Online Order that I thought I was buying from St. Vincent de Paul's Online Thrifting Site for Charity.  Don't think it was, never got the item, luckily it was only an $11 Loss and no other repercussions.  *Whew*  Now I only use E-Bay, it's only the 2nd time ever I've fallen for a Scam using a first time Online Seller not on one of the sites I know well like E-Bay.  Never have been Scammed or even had a Bad Experience by any E-Bay Seller.  I don't Buy much Online but sometimes I can't find something I want and E-Bay has everything and anything you could ever want For Sale, so there's nothing you can't find there eventually.  And usually at a good Deal and often with Free Shipping.  *LOL*  I used to Buy mostly from International Sellers from all over the World on E-Bay, Tariffs fucked that all up tho'.

The Son is cooking Breakfast for me coz he feels Bad about his Meltdown last Night with the Head Banging Music.  You do know I was ready to Kill you about that, Right?, I says this Morning.  Yeah, he said, I'm Sorry, I forget that Sound travels thru the Air Vents and especially at Night when the House is otherwise so Quiet.  Yeah, it does, I felt like I was at a Head Banger Concert and couldn't Escape, so I was risking just Snapping!  *LOL*  It wasn't all that Late when he turned it off, but, Princess T and I had both gone to Bed early, her due to early wakeup for her Shift at Work, me to take her to it.  She wears Noise Cancelling Headphones to Bed so she said she didn't hear a damned thing.  *LOL*  She Deadpanned that there's enuf Crazy in this Household for me to try to Manage, that she doesn't wanna Hear it.  *Wise Child*

But, she said she heard me yelling at him OVER her Noise Cancelling Headphones and thought, Ruh Roh, my Uncle is in the Shits with Gramma!   So, she said she did take the Headphones off for a Minute for a Late Night Showdown Ringside... but he deferred so quickly she figured he Tapped Out before he got Murdered by me.  *Bwahahahaha*  She didn't know Why I was yelling at him, since by then the Music was fucking OFF Stat.  *Smiles and Winks*  He knows better than to Test me.  He's Strong, Young and Scrappy, but he didn't want all his Electronic Equipment to be destroyed if I Lost my Shit and went Postal on his Ass to stop the Music myself! 

 I was close to being there if I'd had to repeat myself one more time!  First I'd said turn it Down... he did... but... I still couldn't stand the Head Banging genre... so then... fuck it... I want that shit OFF!   That kind of Music would send me into Murderous Rage!  My Face must have shown that???  *Winks*   So, I got my Apology this Morning, the Kids are very Sincere about Apologizing when they know they've Tested my very limited Patience, it's not one of my Virtues, Patience.  And tho' I'm adept at suppressing Dark Dawn from being my Dominant Self, if she Escapes and comes forth, and Dawn of the Light lets it or can't restrain it, they know it will not be good to be who that Self is coming for.  *Ha ha ha*  I can and have cleared out a Room, even in Public, if someone Tests the limits of my Patience and tender Mercies.

I'm reluctant to go Off, I'll try reasonable methods first and try to resolve anything amicably with anyone.   But with some they aren't reasonable and won't try to have amicable resolution and then, well, they get exactly what they provoked.   I won't start any fight but I will end one with a flourish if that's what it has to take.  I don't know why some folks just need to be part of a problem rather than wanting to be part of a solution, I really don't.   I'd rather everyone try to find Solutions and work together to resolve Problems instead that benefit everyone involved.  That just makes more sense to me than confrontations and being difficult to the point you provoke Wrath instead.  But when Dealing with someone with Autism it's a Challenge to get cooperation and have them Read Social Cues appropriately.  The Son often acts oblivious to when he's gone too far with someone.

And Autistic folk can get Stuck in their own Bubble and their own Head Space to the exclusion of all around them.  This is clearly what happened last Night and he was having a Psychotic Break too and Arguing with his own Self, so he was Agitating himself and frankly, I don't think that Genre of Music was Helping.   Why don't you Listen to something Calming instead which wouldn't Magnify Agitation?  He likes that Genre of Head Banger Music, which, is hard to Take if you don't like it. *Winks*   And thus he Imagines it's a way to Relax when he's not in a good Emotional State, but I think it makes it worse.   I like lots of Genres of Music, but the Hard Core Head Banger Screaming... and Country Western lamentations, aren't one of them, I find them terribly Depressive Music in different ways.  But, I do like The Blues, so... to each their own in taste of Melancholy or Rage Music I guess.  *Smiles*

I was gonna work in the She Shed but it's already 99 Degrees at 9:00 a.m. so I'm like, Nope, not Today.  I'd have to get out there at Sunup I think to do any Work in there.  I want to clear some of it out to either put into Inventory or Donate.   And then I can haul more out of The RV Garage Mahal again that I've gone thru and want to dispose of.  The She Shed is the interim Storage before it's moved offsite forever, either Sold or Donated.  That's worked very well so far even tho' we didn't get as much done this Fall and Winter as anticipated coz it never got very Cool or Cold, it stayed so Hot that Working in Non-Climate Controlled Space was uncomfortable or just not possible from a Safety standpoint.

Blogging isn't getting anything Done but it is Relaxing and right now I need that more than a tidier Storage Space or even a tidier House.  *LOL*   So much to do that Honestly, it may just take a Lifetime left to get it all accomplished and I'm slowly coming to terms with that possibility.  I shouldn't Care really, it gives me plenty to do as a distraction from the Fuckery of everything beyond our Home's Sanctuary.  As shit continuously unravels, I got plenty to keep me busy and preoccupied on the Homefront that I have a measure of Control over.  The rest is spiraling so far out of Control that there's not a whole lot my little bits of Resistance are accomplishing, but, I'll continue being Militant in making Good Trouble and Resisting.

I was listening to a fav 1966 Song by Buffalo Springfield "For What It's Worth" that I hadn't heard in such a long time.  Yet, the Lyrics are as relevant Today as they were in 1966:

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
A-telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Are getting so much resistance from behind

Time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down

What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and a-carrying signs
Mostly say hooray for our side

It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down
We better stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down
We better stop now
What's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down
We better stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down

The more we think things change the more they actually stay the same and the struggle continues, as it has for far too long already.  I think there should be a National Vote on War, let the People who will be sent to Fight it decide whether they want to make that Sacrifice or not.  Not the Politicians who very few have ever gone, with the exception of coarse of those Elected who have Served and Fought in a War(s), so know what it's like.  They tend to be much more Cautious about engaging in Conflict becoz they know only too well what it leads to and the Cost beyond Dollars, which is staggering enuf, but not nearly as staggering as the Loss of Life and the extent of Disabling Conditions War leaves in it's wake.   Pretending to have Bone Spurs to Dodge a Draft is far different than someone actually losing their Limbs in Wartime in Service to Country or being Buried by their Loved Ones for making the ultimate Sacrifice for Country.  He wouldn't know anything about that.

Well, it held at 99 Degrees so I thought, Fuck it, I'm doing some Work in The She Shed and I did.  I got Five Milk Crates of Inventory sorted out into Sell and Donate.  So, One Box full is going to Donation when I pick the Granddaughter up from Work and I've got some good Merch to Price in the comfort of my Bedroom in Climate Control as I watch TV or listen to Music.  Don't know I'll get it ready before the Weekend, but I'd like to get it into Inventory for the Weekend when Sales are strongest.  A lot of it is Collectible Vintage Toys that are New Old Stock and those Sell easily and well coz it's rare to find New Old Stock in original Packaging of Popular Toy Collectibles. 

  I may work on my Locked Case to find room for Fresh Merch and just take out some that hasn't moved and just bring it back and rotate it in another time.  I don't do that often, I don't like bringing anything back Home that hasn't Sold.  But the Good Stuff is worth rotating in and out, Storing for a while, then bringing back in Fresh another time, it can make all the difference.  I have Storage Space here for my Inventory so it's not as if I have to Sell any of it with any sense of Urgency right now.  If I can't get what I want for it, I'll Keep it a while longer is all.  The Right Buyer eventually comes along and when they do, you have a great Turn on it.   And for Quality Vintage Toys that are Collectible, there's always a Market.

We've developed a good following of Kids now who make their Parents stop at our Showroom coz we have those inexpensive Bagged Toys that Princess T closed out and marked down.  Her tactic was brilliant, we had too many getting Stolen when they were $3-$6 each, but at a Buck each they don't get Stolen and our Margins are just a little less and the Kids then want their Parents to come to our Mall to Shop.  I see how excited the Kids get to be there and get to Buy something and it makes us Happy too.  I recall when The G-Kid Force were Littles and Budget was tight being Retired Seniors still Raising Kids.  Even the smallest of Buys made them thrilled as if it was a Big Deal.  And then the Parents end up having to stand around while their Kids choose a Cheap Toy and end up sometimes Buying something for themselves.

Win-Win for everyone then, the Customers had a good time and we make some discretionary income to supplement a Retirement that is not keeping Pace with runaway Inflation and a crashing Economy, yet trying to Support Three Generations now.   I can only stretch things so far and it's important to work your Hustle then to make sure you can keep Pace some kind of way and afford the necessities at least, Extra when and if you can.  And you know I'm not you're Basic Bitch, I'm very Extra.  *Winks*  Princess T is too and we like Nice things and will find a way to obtain them.  I have to trade in my Aluminum Today, I didn't do it Yesterday but I have the back of my Truck Bed full now so I need to make that stop too when I go see The Man in the Hospital.

I think I'm gonna hafta borrow Money from our Granddaughter if we owe Taxes when we File, once the Government gets us the Paperwork they neglected to send us of the 1099-R they didn't send for the 6th Year in a row!   I had transferred Money from Emergency Savings, but, if we Owe, even close to what we Owed last Year, it won't be nearly enuf, plus the Cost of Filing.   I don't like asking her for a Loan but it's better to Owe her than the IRS.   And she knows I'm good for it and will give her some Extra for the Favor of covering it for us.  I just don't know how much of the Medical Costs being incurred won't be covered by Insurance?  And he's had a lot of Medical Costs again... and in the past, not all of it has been covered and runs up Medical Debt real damned fast.  I do feel like a Tightrope Walker in a Circus right now with no Safety Net beneath me.

Anyway, I can't dwell on any of it, it is what it just is and the whole Nation is Circling the Drain so I know we're not the Lone Ranger struggling right now to stay above Water.  We're all treading Water unless you are affluent and Money has never been an object to have any concerns about.   We don't have Money to piss away like the wealthy do, so we have to be frugal and mindful of making it last and having it cover what we need for it to cover and everyone it needs to cover that is dependent on us for their very Survival now.  This Government sure doesn't give a Fuck about any of us... nor will they. 

So, anyway, other than all that everything is Swell.  *Bwahahaha*  I'm trying to be resilient and somewhat Hopeful, it's a struggle, I ain't gonna Lie.  Even Guarded Optimism isn't cutting it these days really, can't muster it most of the time.   And I know I'm not the only one feeling that way, many of you are, so we're in good company with one another and sometimes we just need to discuss that Elephant in the Room that's taking a big Shit on the American Public.   I'll feel a little less Stressed after we get our Taxes done and know what we Owe... it's doubtful there's any Refund.  Just like there wasn't any Stimulus Checks that were Promised, and all the other broken Promises that were just a big Long Con Job.  At least I never actually Believed any of it, but I know folks who did and were really counting on it being Real and not more Lies/BS.

I decided I wouldn't go to the Hospital until after Princess T calls for pickup from Work coz her Hours now are so unpredictable now.  She never knows if she's getting her Full Time Hours, being sent Home early and being Cut Hours, or having to work Mandatory Overtime?   I know that's hard on her and now I gotta ask her to pay our Taxes for us if we Owe and cover it 'til I can pay her back... she knows I never ask anyone for Money, so I know she'll agree, I just hate to be in the position to have to ask.  Our Pay Period at the Antique Mall ends Tomorrow and I am sure I'll get a Check, but it won't be enough and April already will be tight again on our Pensions/Disability Income not stretching far enuf anymore.  Let alone Owing Uncle Sugar coz Lord knows he's Bankrupted the Country so they will be Clawing Back all the Taxes they can from us Regular Working Folks and Retirees to spend recklessly.  Not like the Millionaires and Billionaires will be contributing.

I'm more than kinda Sick of it, since I've never been a Sheep with a Herd or Hive Mentality, and I'm fully waiting for the paradigm shift when the Revolt happens and everyone is Fed Up enuf to start flipping the Script.    LATER:  They moved The Man to a more secure part of the Hospital where he can't Escape and just walk out.  He's actually settled down a lot and seems content now with the Hospital Routine, it takes him a little bit to adjust to any interruption in his Regular Routine and now he's more in the groove of where he's presently at, even tho' the Room changed.  His Room now has a Chair they let him sit in and they even took him for a little Walk, so he doesn't feel as 'captive'.  That's helped and so now he's content watching his Programs from his Bed and being there for however long he has to be.  *Whew*

Plus, he thinks the Room Change was coz he's doing better.  I don't know that was the reason, it's a smaller Ward with an entrance the Patients don't know about and isn't marked, so, I think not.  *Winks*  But, if it's just where they have Patients who are a Wander Risk along with whatever put them in Hospital, it's where he should be.  So, Color me Happy and Relieved he won't just walk out of there and I get a Call or go to see him and nobody can find him.  He said he ate and I did see reminders on some Patient's Doors telling staff to remind them to Eat and that it's their Meals, which would be Helpful to him also.  He's not so out of it he doesn't get hungry, but, sometimes he'll play with his Food rather than eating it or not realize it's HIS Food if he's not told it is... even if it's brought into his Room.

 

He actually said he felt better, but, in actuality he didn't LOOK better so I'm still very concerned about him, he's kinda Grey complexion and ashen pallor, which is never a good sign.   To me it indicates severe underlying Health conditions.   So, I don't know how long he'll be Hospitalized, I wouldn't like to take him Home looking like that even if they released him to me coz I'd think we'd be right back in short order when the next thing goes Wrong right away.  I would just like to know exactly what we're dealing with specifically so that I can be the best Caregiver to him under those circumstances we can't always control or manage ideally.  I kept upbeat during my visit since he was in a good Mood and feeling better, even if things aren't better, at least he thinks he is feeling better, and that's a Plus.   And I'll take it.

I didn't get anything Priced that I'd brought into the House earlier in the Day, I just didn't have it in me to do it.  Instead, when I got Home from the Hospital I took a short Nap and then watched Bill Maher, who had Stephen A. Smith {who I really like} and Laura Coates, as his Special Guests to discuss current Events.  I Love Bill's Show and especially when he has good Guests on like these Two, so it was a good Episode.   Funny, but, discussing Serious stuff candidly.   It's all the TV I wanted to watch tho', since the daily Fuckery going on unabated is all Too Much.  And most Sitcoms now are crap I wouldn't waste my time watching.  And most Movies are reruns of stuff already seen more than once.  I don't watch much TV anyway.

 I haven't talked to any of the attending Doctors yet and no Nurses came into his Room while I visited, and I was there a relatively long time since he was in a better frame of Mind to visit with him.   He liked me being there since he isn't getting any other visitors.  It's not like anyone we know will be showing up to visit him.   I put Updates up on our Social Media which is only Open to Family and some Friends, so, they know what's going on and how it's progressing.  I haven't really heard from any of the extended Family who live elsewhere, but, that's not so unusual.  His contact with his Relatives has always been distant, for lack of a better Word.   His Older Brother being the one exception coz Bob does keep in touch more often than any of the rest of his Family have over the Years.   But, he's almost 80 and doesn't use much Social Media.

It's actually easier for me not having to deal with a lot of different people and going over the same information with each one individually.  If it gets to a place where they absolutely Need to know, then I'll make all the Calls.   Bob might be the only one to show up in a Crisis, he's been good about that over the Years and I do appreciate it.   But, frankly, we haven't been able to show up in a Crisis for extended Family either.  Since everyone has their own shit they are dealing with at any given time and you can't always take your Show on the Road to respond to the Crisis of extended Family.   We don't have the Resources nor the ability to and so I fully understand that most other Family don't either... it's okay, they don't have to.   It's neither required or expected.

At this Season of Life I pretty much know you just handle your own shit and your immediate Inner Circle may be your only Backup.   I do think Tomorrow will be devoted to Pricing Inventory I brought inside to do that to and take it in to the Antique Mall when I got visit The Man in the Hospital again.  The Hospital and Antique Mall are within sight of each other, so, that's convenient.   He knows I won't be coming until after I pick the Grandchild up from Work due to her unpredictable Scheduled Hours now.  She doesn't even know when she gets off anymore, just when she comes in now, it's that volatile and rather a Pain in the Ass for those without their own Transportation.  But, at least she's still Employed.   She said the New Guy seems to be working out so it's unlikely they'll call her Uncle for the Position in Receiving.

I will probably go to Bed early, I just feel wrung out Physically and Emotionally and staying up doesn't seem to be much point when you're exhausted on all fronts.   Everyone kind of made whatever they wanted for Dinner, I had the Two Tacos from "Jack In The Box" for $1.99 on my way Home coz I didn't have it in me to Cook anything at all, not for me, not for anyone else either.  So, everyone had to fend for themselves and they did just fine with that option.   I think Princess T had Rusty take her out for Dinner.  *Smiles*   She said it's Fine, she'll cover whatever Taxes we Owe when the time comes to File and see how all that Lands, she had no problem with that at all and said she's happy to do it.   So, that's one less concern at least.

My Brother just got done covering another Event as Media, so I may Crib some of his Photos for Blog Fodder for Future Posts as Eye Candy and some much needed Fluff of Life.   I think it was the Temecula Renaissance Faire.   Now that he's a Retired Professional Photographer he doesn't do it for $$$ anymore, he does it as a Gift to all of his Friends in the Entertainment Industry who he's known for many Years now and to capture thru the Eye of his Lens the Craft they all enjoy, whether Professionally or Recreationally now.   You do get to the place in Life where it's no longer about how much Money you can make off what you do best and are best known for, and more and more for the Love of it.  My Brother was Into Photography before he ever made a good Living off of doing it and being a Respected Professional in the Industry.  If you are doing what you Love and are meant to do, you really don't Work a Day in your Life.

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More to come later... Dawn... The Bohemian

The U.S. Government Is Insolvent

 The U.S. government is insolvent. That’s not hyperbole — it’s the conclusion drawn directly from the Treasury Department’s own consolidated financial statements for fiscal year 2025, released last week to near-total media silence. The numbers: $6.06 trillion in total assets against $47.78 trillion in total liabilities as of September 30, 2025.

So, that's all I'm saying about Politics for Today, nuff said that after having Bankrupted Casinos, which is quite a Talent in and of itself, his Goal HAD to be to Bankrupt an entire Country, so that he'd be the absolute BEST at Bankrupting ANYTHING.  You know how he is like that.  *Huge Eye Roll*  And I must say his Asset Stripping has been quite profitable for him and his, while everyone else in America is now Royally fucked.

Princess T is Home Sick Today, I think she's got Anxiety about her Grandpa being so sick and Hospitalized again, so she was puking all Night and all Morning.  So, she called in, but her Supervisor knows what's going on coz I told him about The Man when I picked her up from Work.  All the Young folks working there like The Man and I so are always asking how he's doing, they know it's been a tough row to hoe for him.

I had a Gas Discount at "Safeway" built up, so I filled up and it still cost me $85!   I'm trying to stock up on Groceries we need all the time in case that spikes very soon, which, I'm sure is coming.   Between Tariffs imposed and Transportation Costs going up, along with Supply Chain interruptions, and staggering Ego War Costs inflating America's Debt Load, well, it's gonna be a long expensive Summer for necessities.

I'm glad the Grand-Kiddos are sending me so many Uplifting Pixs of themselves and the Great-Grandkids and Great-Grandpups to boost my Morale and my Spirits.   They ARE the Future and I only Hope they can run enuf damage control behind the Fuckery their Elders are sticking them with that is jeopardizing them even having a Future?!  My Heart breaks for the Young People around the World.   I can't apologize enuf for what the cognitively declined, Hate filled and Greed Based Geriatric Leadership is doing right now.

And now for some Food Porn, coz, well, Food... is always great Blog Fodder Imagery, isn't it?  *Winks*   I'm losing enuf Weight now that my Pants keep falling off me, but I don't wanna Buy more until I know how much Weight Loss I'm going to incur?   I joked with Princess T that I can hike my Jammie Sweatpants up under my Sagging Titties to hold them in place, like a Belt.  She laughed so hard she almost squirted Juice out of her Nose this Morning!   She needed Cheering up and a Laugh, she's Sick as Hell from Anxiety right now about Grandpa, and laying in Bed all Pale and Miserable.

The Son applied at our local Dollar Store at the end of the Street, he could Walk to Work if they hire him.  The Trades isn't working out right now so he'll take anything in the interim even tho' it pays way less than he was used to earning.  He's not too Proud to do any kind of paying Work and he hasn't been able to find Work since just before Thanksgiving.  Most places saying they're Hiring really aren't, Ghost Jobs to make their Companies look more attractive to Investors and give the Illusion they're doing better than they actually are.

  Since he got screwed out of Unemployment Benefits he hasn't had any income except Day Labor Jobs and Selling Plasma.  It's quite humbling for him, he's a good Worker and an asset to any Employer he's ever had.  I know he's discouraged but he's almost 40 and that is the tipping point of being less Employable and Ageism is Real and discriminatory in ways they've found to make it Legal.  Anyway, I do Hope he can get some Employment coz he wants to help out financially, but can't right now.  The only one Working is Princess T at a Minimum Wage Job and not getting her full Hours anymore either.

I'm delaying going to the Hospital until this Afternoon, I just didn't have it in me to go this Morning.  I got a Sick Grandkid at Home and so at least I got to Sleep In.  But, I don't feel very Rested.  I don't think I had a good Night's Sleep, Medical Crisis tend to do that coz you stay Keyed Up and on High Alert.  I'm feeling down in the Dumps and got Da Blues again, I'd JUST been pulling myself out of them and now, right back in again, dammit!!!  So, my Head Space is Dark, as you could tell by how I began this Post.  *Winks*  I'd like to Write about some Fluff Topics, but, there's not a lot of that right now to Write about at the moment.

I got 3 small Pints of Ice-Cream for $1.25 each at the Dollar Store, that's how I'm Coping.  *Bwahahahaha*  It's pretty good Cheap Ice-Cream actually, they had Coffee, Strawberry Cheesecake and Butter Pecan flavors and I couldn't choose, so just got all Three.  What the Hell.  *Winks*   My Appetite has been compromised due to Stressors and Meds I have to take, so, once in a while something  foolish to eat doesn't matter as much, my Diabetic Numbers haven't been Negatively impacted whatsoever.  I don't do Guilty Indulgences of eating very often, I stay on track and do a lot of Activity/Exercise.  I haven't hit The Gym lately, but I should.  While he's Hospitalized would be a good time to, it's near the Hospital.

I have some Easter Merch to drop off at our Showroom, coz, Easter is so early this Year, so I wanna get it in there in time to Sell it for Easter.  Easter Sells relatively well coz most Vendors don't have any of that kind of Seasonal Merch at our Mall.   In fact, Springtime Merch is conspicuous by it's very absence most of the time, which is a shame, coz it's a Visually pleasant line of Merch for Spring when you're Selling Seasonal Inventory.  I like it when Spring rolls around coz the Merch is so uplifting and visually pleasing.  So, I may do some Window Shopping after visiting The Man in the Hospital, just to get out of the Heat and have some Eye Candy to soak in at the Big Box Stores that carry Spring Seasonal Inventory.

LATER:  Okay, so, what an Ordeal!  And a lot of Wasted Time and Gas.  First, I stopped by the Hospital to visit The Man, he's not been Behaving, in fact, his Head Nurse said he keeps trying to Escape!  He's notorious for that coz once he forgets where he is or why he's even there, he thinks he's being held Captive and his extreme PTSD sets in and he tries to get outta there!!!  So, he kept getting out of Bed and he's on complete Bedrest, at least they didn't lose track of him this time, he's Escaped Hospitals before, more than once, even out of Cardiac ICU once upon a time!  *Le Sigh*  So, I had to have a Come To Jesus with him and they said they'd been waiting on me to come so I could Talk to him and tell him to Behave.  *Sigh*

He'd told them only his Wife could tell him he can't leave!  *LOL*  So, I told him, you can't leave Honey.  *Winks*  So he got cranky and said he doesn't wanna just be there watching TV.  And I'm like, but Honey, that's all you do at Home!!!   And he's like, No, I don't... I do LOTS of things at Home!!!  He puts his Mad Face on like I'm gonna Believe that Bullshit that's not tethered to Reality and said, Such As???  And he had no response of coarse, so under Protest he started watching his TV.  *Smiles*  And I told his Nurse, in front of him, if he Misbehaves call me and I'll be right here, okay?  He gave us the Stink Eye.  *Bwahahaha*  

 He's a Handful isn't he?, she said.  Yep, Yep he is, he Misbehaves for our Kids and Adult Grandkids when they're watching him for me too, so, you're not the Lone Ranger.  And I'm afraid if he managed to Escape he'd walk to our Old Historic House and forget we don't live there!   Coz it's closer to the Hospital than we are here and he gets confused sometimes about location and where we now are, as opposed to where we used to be.  Things from the Past are still in Memory but more recent stuff is Gone for him now and he has to be constantly reminded of it.

To Be a bit Fair to him tho', he was Hangry, coz when I left the Hospital on Wednesday after we'd been there literally all Day and he finally got a Room around 6:00 p.m. he was supposed to get Fed.  They even ordered the Meal before I left, then Cancelled it coz the Cardiologists weren't sure if they'd have to do another Emergency Procedure?!   Then this Morning they cancelled the Procedure coz of the Pneumonia not making him stable enuf, so he didn't get to Eat until this Afternoon.  He did eat all his Meal and said it was good, but he was still Cranky from being prepared for another Procedure/Surgery that then didn't happen.  You can't spring shit on him like that or he discombobulates completely.

So, I stop by "Pho 43" to get Takeout for the Family while on my way back into the City to go to the Main VA Hospital Pharmacy again to pick up all those New Heart Meds his Cardiologist Faxed over Twice.  Remember I'd been there just the other day and they couldn't find those?  Well, turns out they'd Mailed the damned things to the House and they were Delivered on the 20th {a Friday} and The Man had promptly HIDDEN them, like he has other Meds before when they're Delivered and the rest of us don't know they have been!  *Huge Le Sigh*  So, Luckily Princess T raided our Room and located them. *Whew*  So, TWO Wasted Trips to the Downtown VA Medical Center in 104 Degree Heat and Rush Hour, for nothing, Fun Times!!!   But, at least we have them all now.  *Whew*

 

Anyway, the Kiddos are now having Chicken Lemongrass and Chicken Pho' for Dinner and everyone is Happy.  *Smiles*  I also had the Chicken Lemongrass, some Pho' Broth and a Sweet Bean Drink while I was at the Restaurant, I Dined In and got the rest To Go for the Family.   The Family that Own the Restaurant I've known Three Generations of their Family and watched their Kids grow up and take over the Business.  I've told this Story before but for many Years I'd go there with my Mom coz she lived right around the Corner from the Restaurant, so they knew that was Mom.

But, tho' my Dad also ate there for Years too, we never ate there together, he'd always go with his Filipino Roommates.  Until one time Dad and I went together and the Vietnamese Owner comes up and says, Oh, you know Noel's Dad?  Noel was the Young Filipino Son of the Older Woman who lived with Dad after his Sister Died and did his Cooking, Cleaning and taking Care of him in exchange for her Family living there.  I'm like, this isn't Noel's Dad, it's my Dad!  And she looked perplexed and says, You're Filipina?!!!!!!!   And I'm like, No, neither is my Dad, he's Native American!!!  Dad and I both Laughed and she Laughed and said, she thought he was Asian all this time coz she never met a Native American before and didn't know they look so much like Asian People!  That was hilarious.

Since Dad had been Stationed in Vietnam during the War he could speak and understand some Vietnamese and got along great with the Vietnamese Locals while there coz they too often thought he was also Asian, so he was used to it.  *Smiles*   And The Son just came in and said he thought I'd brought Pho' and Chicken Lemongrass Home?  I did... well, there's none left, just some Mint and Vermicelli... the Grandkids had eaten it all and even their Uncle's portion apparently!   Guess they were real Hungry he said of The G-Kid Force... he's not Mad, it just clearly wasn't enough.  *Le Sigh*  They were like a pack of Hyenas getting after it.  *LOL*    

 

My Hair and Nails are growing fast but I am still thinning on Top, don't know if it's Hormonal or Stress related?  I'm still taking Collagen to try to help regrow some of what's thinning, so I do have Baby Hair sprouting so it just looks fuzzy and isn't filling in fully yet, so, I still look like I'm Balding on Top and have thick Hair all around the rest, Crazy!!!   Just another aspect of Aging I guess, whaddya gonna do?  You can't turn back the Clock.  I've seen those infrared Caps and wonder if that actually helps and works?

This is The Young Prince's Paternal Aunt that he's recently Estranged from coz she made some trouble, or tried to, between he and his Dad, whose her Older Brother.  It's Sad coz they were always so close but she Married into Money and now doesn't say the most appropriate things about her own Family, she got Uppity and Pretentious.  Which, everyone could roll with that, but when she says things that are false about people, she should expect confrontation and Bad Blood about it and that's exactly what happened.  She told her Brother not to Loan his Son any Money.  We don't even know where that came from coz The Young Prince has never borrowed Money from his Dad, his Aunt, his Paternal Gramma, EVER... never even asked them for Money!!!   He doesn't Owe anyone anything coz he doesn't borrow Money from any of us.

And his Dad is like us, if he GIVES Money to any of the Kiddos, it's not a Loan, it's a Gift and not expected to be Paid Back.  And that's our prerogative to Gift anyone any amount any time we see fit to!   Bobby has always been generous to his Son, and even to Princess T.  I Raised them on our Dime but if they ever needed anything, Bobby always asked us to just let him know and he'd see what he could do to ensure they got it.  He was never allowed to be a Custodial Parent due to his own Issues back when he Fathered his Oldest Son as a Teenager, but straightened his Life out enuf to Raise his Two Younger Children he had many Years later with Angie.   Now they aren't together he has some Shared Custody of those Two Children, even tho' he and Angie were never Married either.

It's a shame my Grandson's Aunt messed up by not staying in her own Lane, but, now it's done and her Nephew is Done with her.  She's still Friended with me on FB, but our Grandson Blocked her so she can't have any contact with him anymore, he doesn't want any.   And his Dad wasn't able to smooth things over between his Son and his Youngest Sister, so, that puts him in an awkward Space to Hold too.   Family Estrangements can be very complex and difficult to Finesse for everyone else in the Family who isn't Estranged.  I don't involve myself in anyone else's Relationship Dramas, that's for them to sort out and resolve, not my Issue and I'm not playing Moderator or Mediator and being a Referee.

It feels good to just be Done for the day and be able to sit back and relax now at Home.   I had intended to also trade in my Aluminum Cans to get some Cash, but, that didn't happen.  Yes, I was near the Recycle Center with all the Bags tied up in the back of my Truck ready to turn in, I just didn't do it.  Mebbe Tomorrow, since, I do Plan to hit The Gym in the Morning after I drop Princess T off at Work.  I think she'll feel Well enuf Tomorrow to go?   She can't risk taking too much Sick time or she'll be on Notice again.

I don't have anything on the Calendar now until next Week.  So, a few Days of not running around, except mebbe seeing Himself at the Hospital, will feel good.   He wasn't good Company when I went in Today since he'd been Misbehaving and was not in a pleasant Mood at all, so, I didn't stay long.  When he's being difficult and contrary, it's just best to leave him be... he usually regulates when he knows nobody is putting up with bad Behavior and he's just not getting his way by being difficult and unlovely.  *Winks*   I reminded him he has good Nurses so don't make them Assign him a Nurse Ratchet to 'Handle' him.  *Winks*

He is like that for The Son and The Grandson all the time which is why they don't like having to take one for the Team and watch him and fill in with the Caregiving.  He gives them both a real hard time, less so for The Daughter and Granddaughter.  He definitely does NOT give Yours Truly a Hard Time or he knows Dark Dawn will take over the Shift and Dawn Of The Light will just hand the Baton to my Sinister Alter Ego who don't take no shit from anyone.  *Winks*  I reminded him before I left, don't make these Nurses have to Call me now!!!  *Smiles and a Hard Look at him with my Crazy Eyes... Winks... Love Ya Honey, now BE Good and Behave!*

The Nurses have a LOT of Geriatric Patients on that Floor right now and he's actually not the most High Maintenance one, Believe it or not?!  AND they have some DOC {Dept. Of Corrections} Patients too and one Young Guy had Two Big Stud Muffin Armed Guard Escorts, so he must be a Real Prince and a Peach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  *Smiles*   They put them in their Bright Orange Jumpsuits so that other Patients and Families are aware they are Bad Guys and incarcerated.  Even tho' they're shackled I always keep my Eye on them if they're anywhere close by where me and mine are there at the Hospital. 

 

Every time we've been at the ER there they've had an Inmate from DOC there handcuffed to the Bed or Bench and Shackled.  Last time when The Man had his Heart Attack it was that Middle Aged Female Murderer with her One Young Armed Male Escort she was schmoozing so he'd think she wasn't so dangerous and might even be harmless.  I Shared in a previous Post what I overheard her saying to him about the Guy she Killed... where in hindsight she shouldn't have left him to Die and NOT called 911, then she said she could have claimed self-defense!!!!!!!!  Yowsah, she was another Peach, wasn't she?   I'm thinking, Dude, don't let your Guard down with that one or you'll be Next!  *LOL*

 

I don't know what this Guy from DOC with the Two Armed Big Guards did?   But he was very small like a Man-Child, Hispanic, looked a bit Charlie Manson-ish really in Appearance, long scraggly Dark Hair, same Crazy Eyes Look as Charlie had, when Manson was Younger where you see the Whites all around his Iris like in the infamous Pix Below.   The Japanese call it Yang Sanpaku.   The Eyes are indeed Windows to the Soul.  And those with a Tortured or Troubled Soul and Spirit, their Eyes will reflect that.   Also, when someone is Psychotic, the Eyes show it first just moments before the Psychotic Episode explodes.   Anyway, that Prisoner looked like Charlie sans the Beard and Mustache... a clean shaven Charlie if you will.

Anyway, other than all that, everything is Swell.  *Bwahahahaha*  This is the last Weekend of the Renaissance Festival, we did not go and decided even before March that we wouldn't be going this Year.  I'd of liked to have gone but Budget and Circumstance didn't line up to make it happen this Year.  The G-Kid Force weren't too crushed about not going, which was a Surprise since they really look forward to going.  But, they knew so much was going on and Finances were tight and it's a long commute, Gas prices are ridiculous, and with what happened with their Grandpa, we'd of had to Cancel anyway if we had made Plans to go. 

The Daughter still doesn't know her Dad is Hospitalized coz we have no way of reaching her.  They broke Mando's Phone now, hers has been broken, and they even broke mine the one time they borrowed it, which is why I had to have it replaced and won't let anyone borrow it now.  I don't know how Younger folks break their devices all the damned time, I've never broken one in all the Years I've owned a Cellphone.  I've had some 25 Years and not even had a crack in the Screen that I caused!!!  Usually I only upgrade coz the Phone gets so Old the Provider no longer let's you use one like that anymore.  *Smiles*

 

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Coming to you from the now Bankrupted insolvent Nation of the United States of America... Dawn... The Bohemian