Blogging And Some Venting

 

The Daughter's Friend Mando gave her a Dozen Tamales his Mom had made, they were delicious, she makes excellent Tamales.  The Son had gone to McDonalds to just pick up some Spicy Chicken Sammies for all of us just before that, as a Surprise since I had Napped practically all Day so he knew I wasn't doing so good.  But a Mom with Four Kids was there counting out Change to try to feed her Family and he just gave all the Sammies to her since he'd ordered Five.  He said she burst into Tears and hugged him, trying to give him her Money, which he wouldn't take. He's been Homeless and Hungry, he couldn't imagine being that way with Four Kids in tow.  When he got Home his Sister came in bearing the Meal she'd been given, God often Moves in Mysterious ways like that.  My Welsh Nanna always said to cast your Generosity upon the Waters of Humanity and it will always come back to you Double fold.  It's True.   I've never been able to Outgive my God.

Earlier I had steamed some Mixed Veggies and had bought some really lovely various pre-made Salads from 'Sprouts' on Sale for about Four Bucks each.  They are pretty and tasty, I couldn't make them myself with all those ingredients as cheaply, so, Love when they have them marked down.   The Greek Style is my fav since it has Dolmathes that are really good.   The one below with the Quinoa is also a fav.  The Morning had worn me out even tho' I didn't do hardly anything.  Princess T got off Work really early since they didn't have much Work or many Customers.  It's been like that a lot so she hasn't been getting 40 Hours most Weeks recently.  The Economy is tanking and in a freefall.

Watched a Dark Comedy called "The Menu" {2022} with Ralph Fiennes and John Leguizamo.  The Son found it hilarious that I had caught on to the whole thing way in advance, even without him telling me what it was about.   The Dark Humor was making fun of pretentiousness and yet it was very Macabre, a Horror Comedy of sorts.   I'm also back to binge watching "Lost" and finished all of Season 1.   I Napped on Saturday from about 1:00 to almost 6:00 so the Kiddos knew I wasn't feeling good.  The fatigue is pretty intense and tho' my Cardiologist said I shouldn't be so fatigued and out of breath, I still am.  It sucks.  But, overall I'm Recovering pretty good.

This Month is my Brother's Birthday and The Man's Birthday, neither of them likes a fuss on their Birthdays.   Finances are still strained so we probably won't do much in the way of Celebrating or Gifts anyway.  He's Okay with that, at some point you don't make much of a Big Deal over getting another Year older.   Tho' it beats the alternative.  *LOL*  I have another Lifelong Friend whose health has tanked, we're at that Age, it happens.  I'm hopeful she'll get thru it, her Kids are really concerned and I don't know the details coz they no longer live locally and moved to Texas and Florida.   I'm only in touch now via FB of One of her Five Kids. Tho' when the Kids are visiting Arizona they always stop by and are like extended Family.  The Youngest Daughter said they're still finding out what's wrong.

I can Sleep In on Sundays, since all the Kids are off Work, but found myself having Nightmares and very Strange Dreams, so was up at 2:30 a.m.!  I realized The Man was already up and must be sitting in the Media Chair in the Livingroom.   He has chronic insomnia, and Sundowners, so, that's not so unusual.   He follows his Safety Prompts, so it's not too worrisome that he's wandering around like a Lost Soul inside the House while everyone else is Sleeping.   Usually he's just sitting there in the Dark staring into Space... Creepy, but harmless.  The "Sitting In The Dark" apparently is common.  Sometimes he'll come back to Bed and fall Asleep.  I don't always Sleep thru the Night either if I've taken long Naps during the Day.

I feel a big guilty that I have not helped The Daughter at all in The RV Garage Mahal this Winter.  She's asked me for direction, but not expected me in there doing much.  I intended to, I intended to spend all of the Fall and Winter in there helping.  Ah, the Road to Hell is paved with those Good Intentions isn't it?  *Le Sigh*   We could have gotten twice as much done if I had engaged, but I'm finding that perhaps I've reached Burnout on the Doing of it?   I don't mind Decorating, but the whole Edit & Purge, unpacking and organizing, has been going on so long now that I'm completely Over it at this point.  So, I'm trying to find ways to motivate myself out of that Funk of not bothering.  It still matters, but, I just don't tackle it like I used to.  Whatever she does is Okay and Enough.

We did come across this Old pix of a Toddler me with my Childhood Cat Cho-Cho Sandara, who was an enormous Male Siamese.  He used to Guard me like an Attack Dog might.   I could never have been an abducted Child coz he would have messed them up.  *LOL*   Mom said he'd Growl if anyone came close to me who was a Stranger, so, they kept their distance, since, he was my Sidekick and would let me do anything with him, gentle as a Mouse with me.  I guess I was his Human, and Siamese are known for being exclusive with their Humans.  Look at my Crazy Hair and those ridiculous Bangs!   My poor Mom didn't know what to do with my Texture of Hair.  Coz hers was Corkscrew Curly and nappy, mine was Fine and straight as Matchsticks.   

This disturbed my Mom, she had a little Girl and she SO wanted me to look Civilized and not like an Orphan Refugee.  *Bwahahahaha*  She'd try valiantly to Curl, Style and Tame it, to no avail.   That Pix was clearly her attempt to Curl it again, I'd just end up with Crazy Frizz.  So, eventually she gave up and just let me grow it out very long, I once had it down to my Knees in length.  *LOL*  Oddly, Dreadlocks have worked Best for me.   And if she let my Dad dress me, she said I ended up looking like a Reservation Indian Child in completely mismatched ill fitting Clothes, that usually were too big and looked like Hand Me Downs, even tho' I had no Older Siblings.  *Smiles*  Pretty sure Dad might have dressed me that day in the Pix... Mom usually had me looking like I was her Human Doll when she dressed me, very prissy in Pixs Mom Staged me for.  She must have given up that day after my Hair went Wild again?  *LMAO*

Now, I can relate to my Mom and her frustration with my Hair, but in a totally different way.  Coz The Young Prince, since his Paternal Side is Puerto Rican, has coarse thick, very nappy Hair and I didn't know what the fuck to do with it?!  It was much like my Mom's Hair was, but I never did my Mom's Hair.  So, when he was a Kiddo, I'd be so frustrated with his Hair and just kept it cut real Short so he wouldn't just have a Wild Afro going on and look like a Poodle!  *LOL*  Finally, a South American Friend of mine, Arleene, who had his kind of Hair too, told me what I was doing Wrong.  I was trying to brush his Hair.  Hairbrushes were a complete No-No with his Texture and I didn't realize it.  I should have had a Clue coz getting a Brush thru that Hair was ridiculous.  And he'd fuss and run away from me any time his Hair needed to be did.  *LOL* 

 So, I had to go out and get an Afro Pick and a Special kind of Comb, then his Hair finally could be grown out and not look like I was totally neglecting him.  *LOL*   And I realized that I also had to buy the same Hair Care Products for him that my Mom always used.   Mom always bought Black Hair Care Products for herself becoz they worked best on her Texture, they did for The Young Prince too.   She'd Iron or use Product on her Hair to Straighten it.  Finally with the right Products I could Deal with my Grandson's Hair and Straighten it too.  *Whew*  And when he was Old enuf to do his own Hair, he figured it out instinctively I Guess, just like I did as a Child with a Mother who had no Idea how to Deal with my Hair.  *Bwahahahaha*  Princess T's Hair was only slightly easier for me, coz tho' her Dad has very Curly Hair, it's Spaniard Hispanic Texture.  Different than my Texture, but doable.  *LOL*

We go back to the Shoes I'm wearing in that Old Pix too, which I Loved and my Dad was more inclined to put me in, coz I think one of his Family from the Rez sent them to us and might have even made them?  They made most things they wore.   I remember they were some kind of Animal Hide in Two Colors with the Fur still on them, so I Loved them, Dad liked them, Mom HATED them!  *Bwahahahaha*   I don't know if they were Cow Hide, Horse Hide, but they were that kind of Animal Hair.   Pretty damned sure Mom wouldn't have taken me out in Public looking like that the day that Pix was taken.  *Ha ha ha*  Which is Why it Amuses me that we even still have the Pix and she never got rid of it.  In fact, pretty sure it's one Dad secretly kept and I got from his possessions.   *LOL*  We didn't own a Camera of our own, so few Pixs of us as Children even exist tho'.  Which is Why I'm a Pathological Picture Taker.  *Winks* 

My Kids and the Grandkids we Raised have an abundance of Pixs of themselves growing up.  I probably had more Pixs of my Friend's Kids than they had taken, and so many Years later they'd ask me for copies to flesh out their Photo Albums.  *LOL*   Growing Up I didn't like that neither side of the Family had owned Cameras, so few Pixs even existed of my Beloved Family Members.   I don't know that any of my Grandparents had ever been Photographed as Children, or even as Teens, very seldom even as Adults!   Nor my Dad, it's like he didn't exist Photographically until he joined the Military and had those Pixs taken!   My Mom has perhaps One Childhood Mug Shot Pix of herself that a School had taken at Christmastime.  It looked like a Missing Child Photo on a Milk Carton!  *LOL*  Then just a scant few as a very Young Woman before she Married my Dad.  That absence of Imagery of them always bothered me, I wanted more Photos of them all.  And my Brother became a Professional Hollywood Photographer, probably for similar reasons I suspect?

I realized how 3rd World that seemed when I was reading a National Geographic Article on an Afghan Child who had a famous Photo taken when she was 12, one we all remember.  {See Below}  They located her Years later, when she was perhaps 29 or 30, she doesn't know her Age, and it's only the 2nd time she'd ever been Photographed in her Life.  And like my Paternal Grandmother, I can tell she isn't at all comfortable, Culturally, with having her Photograph taken at all!   A lot of Native Americans feared it might Steal their Soul.  In almost every Photo of my Paternal Grandmother she has that similar hostile look about being Photographed that the Afghan Girl/Woman does.  *Smiles*  Well, that Girl in Afghanistan not being Photographed for 99% of her Life, that's almost like my Relatives on both sides of the Family, few Photographic Evidence exists.

Some people these Days you will never see without their Cellphone, with me, you will never see me without my Camera.   Usually both the Old School one AND the Cellphone one.   I use my Cellphone more for Photography than I do for Phone Calls actually.  *LOL*   I use my PC more for Blogging than doing anything else with it either.  *Smiles*  If I didn't Blog, the PC would be Off most of the time.   The Google Feature is mostly used on my Cellphone when I want to do instant research on something I'm considering Buying.   I now J'Adore Google Lens, it's my new favorite Feature I discovered how to use.  *Bwahahaha*  Princess T now Loves that I've become at least that Tech Savvy and been dragged into the 21st Century, almost Voluntarily.  *Winks*  It's a Process, what can I say?  *LOL*

I'm pretty Proud of myself not even being Tempted to turn on The News.  I guess a Medical Jet now crashed in Philly killing about 8 people.  I have to Wonder with the changes the Incoming made at cutting funding and staffing in critical areas, if that kind of thing is likely to sadly increase as a result?   A lot of shit is being seriously compromised due to poor and even crazy decisions being made.  They are trying to downplay that, but, I suspect it contributes and they don't wanna panic people so much they won't risk flying or realize shit is unraveling faster and faster Governmentally?   I have zero delusions that things are Okay, they are definitely NOT Okay now.  So, I don't really Need the News to cover it for me to know, America is in Crisis and has poor Leadership running amok that is acting absolutely Insane and completely Unhinged and Under-Regulated.

I have noticed that some Blogs that I used to Read now have Restricted Access to "Invited Readers Only", don't know what that's all about?  Perhaps they were getting Trolled a lot or are feeling Exclusive?   If it's the former, I understand and sympathize, that's a bummer and unfortunate.   If it's the latter, I wouldn't choose to Read anymore anyway, so wouldn't even solicit an "Invitation", too Bougee for me.  I wouldn't be interested in a Country Club kind of Blog that you have to be Vetted somehow to have "Permission" to be "Invited" to Read.   I find it fairly pretentious in fact and you know how I feel about that.   I had enuf of pretentious people after living in Affluent Subdivision Hell at the Villa McManse.  Those uppity folks took themselves way too seriously, and excluded folks, to the point of absurdity, personal bias and just plain rudeness.  It's not becoming to anyone whose behaving that way.

Of coarse isn't it getting to be more that way in America, becoming increasingly Tribalistic in Nature and magnifying Biases and Intolerance?   Diversity, Equity and Inclusion being thought of as a Negative thing, when it's not at all, it's a definite Positive thing.  If you're against being Equitable, Inclusive or Tolerating Diversity in other Human Beings, you wouldn't be someone I'd probably feel good around or necessarily supportive of that State of Being, whether in Real Life or in The Land Of Blog.  I'd be Civil and Kind to you anyway, becoz I strongly Believe in everyone's basic right to be treated with Humanity and Dignity, and Honor that, but, I probably wouldn't find a lot of reasons to become close to or even Trust you.  Which is Fine, coz the likelihood of you Tolerating or Including me, would be slim next to none anyway, if you're that Exclusive, Inequitable and Intolerant.  And I don't Care, that's YOUR Character Problem to work out... or not.  *Winks and LOL*

I had to Tidy Up my Sidebar anyway and have found it difficult to get caught up on a lot of Blog Reading.   The ones I still enjoy and am Welcome at are the ones I continue to Read and form Relationships with, just like in Real Life.   When you're all Friended Up, there's no need to go anywhere you aren't extended a Welcome or need some Entrance Exam to gain Access.  *Bwahahahaha*   Blogger is still User Friendly tho', some Blog sites aren't, or, make it damned near a Dog & Pony Show or impossible to leave Comments on.   Even if the Blog is a Wonderful one, if the site being used is too convoluted, I find I don't visit hardly at all, too much of a hassle to.   Typepad I found to be dreadful as a Blog Platform, a Shame since some good Bloggers do use it.   As of 2020 they were no longer accepting new Signups and that's probably a Good thing, since they Suck.  *LOL*   Blogger started in 1999 and I've been using it Happily since 2009.

Sadly, some other Fav Bloggers have gone off the Grid for unknown reasons and just don't Blog anymore, or haven't in a long while.   It always concerns me in case something happened to the Blogger and we don't have Closure about it?   I've kept a scant few on my Sidebar, even tho' their Activity has long been dormant, becoz I don't wanna forget what their Blog is Named in case they resume?   Some have in the Past and they're often Welcomed Back to The Land heartily once folks realize they're back.   My Blog Friend Vanessa has one of the Best Blogs and is Young, so, no Idea why she hasn't Blogged in a Year, when she used to be a prolific Blogger and suddenly just ceased?   She's a Talented Artist, Photographer and Writer too, who has been Published, and her Sister used to Blog as well, but no longer does either.  Vanessa is MIA on FB too since 2022.  Sometimes I check other Media Sites, like Instagram, if an Online Friend goes MIA to ensure they're doing Okay.  Some just use certain Sites more now than other Sites.  Good way to keep in Touch.

I have been fussing with my own Photo Archives since I accidentally Restored them.  I still haven't figured out how to transfer them and will await The Niece in the Spring to ensure it's done right.   Since the PC just updated it shouldn't do that for a while now, so I'm not as nervous about another incident, tho', I know a crash can happen at any time.  While I was searching for a Lost Online Friend I accidentally Found another Real Life Friend's Instagram who moved to Washington State.  She had the most Amazing Spaces and we met as Vendors at our Antique Mall and then she also began being a Designer at some of the Popular Events I attend regularly too.  We really Miss her, she's a Creative Genius at Display and Design, her Aesthetic if very Feminine and Pastels, but, she can even make me like Pastels, imagine that!  *LOL*    

I Cribbed a shit ton of her Instagram Pixs to be Inspired by and it was nice to see her Face again.  She hasn't changed or Aged one bit, a Beautiful person inside and out, we'd lost Touch after she Moved.  She doesn't keep in Touch with many Old Friends from Arizona, so I didn't take it Personally.  I think only one Couple we know has gone up to Washington State to visit her in Person, they travel Nationally to do their Picks for their Shows and Events.   She's a Grandma now and has an Adorable Granddaughter, who is her Youngest Daughter's Child.  I guess Two of her Four Kids lives there Locally and I knew she was from Washington State and really missed it, and the Weather, Scenery and Thrifting that is there.   I know The Young Prince and Allen LOVED Washington State, but it was just way too expensive to Live there.  Renting a Room at someone's Home costs as much as a Half Million Dollar Property's Mortgage is in Arizona!!!  Yowsah!  Of coarse Arizona is catching up as being too expensive now to Live in.

Most Young People cannot afford to Rent or to Buy now here in the preferable Urban Areas and the Small Towns are like living on another Planet.  It's a whole other Vibe in Small Town Arizona.  I find it to be Creepy and rather Unwelcoming, sometimes even hostile, and Cultish, heavy MAGA territory occupied if you catch my drift?   No Thanks, zero Appeal, I rarely even visit Small Town Arizona.  The Vibe is just too Unfriendly and Weird, we don't feel comfortable and surely would never Live there, even with cheaper Real Estate.  *LOL*   The last time Princess T went with us to a Small Town she was so Creeped Out by how people reacted when we'd walk in any Restaurant or Store, that she never wanted to go again.  Yeah, it was 2016 in the height of that Election and she said, Never Again!!!   And frankly, we really avoided going again outside of the Metro Urban Area, especially with the Political Unrest escalating since then.  Too Cray-Cray.   Their Loss Economically if you make Visitors feel that Creeped Out or Unwelcome.

 

I don't know if it's like that across the Board in most Rural Areas across America now?  I do know some Bloggers in heavily populated Red States have said it is, even in some Urban Areas in their States.  But, mostly they aren't States I've ever even Visited or had the Desire to pass thru.  *LOL*   And in the instances I have, never wanted to Visit again either.  *Bwahahaha*   I know my Niece who moved to Oklahoma, becoz Rents are Cheap, says she much prefers Massachusetts and Arizona, but can't afford to live in either, as a Single Woman with only the one Good Income.   And she's an I.T. Tech who Designs Computer Programs, so it's not as if she doesn't have a great Job and can Work from Home anywhere in the Nation or Abroad, she can.  But, to have Quality of Life on One Income now is a stretch for most Young People or Seniors especially, and not getting better over Time.   She really dislikes Oklahoma, and would rather not have to live there, but Rent for a nice Apartment is affordable.  And, she has Paternal Family there.

I have Paternal Family there too on the Rez, but haven't been back since 1974 and there's absolutely nothing there to go back for.  It was horrible on the Rez in the 1970's and abject Poverty stricken, and not much better now.  Statistically those on the Rez are in the lowest 14% Income Bracket in America.   However, that said, only about 12% of Americans are making $75,000 Annually... and the Top 1% are making damned near all the Money compared to the other 99% of everyone in the Country.   So, most of the Rents around these parts are Costing most people damned near 50% or more of their total Income, not sustainable, since, that doesn't even include the high Utility Costs or other essential Living Expenses or Child Care Costs so they can Work if they have a Family or Adult Loved One requiring Full Time Caregiving.  It's problematic.  I don't have any Solutions.

I'm thinking Today that I might just take The Man to the Antique Mall in the East Valley for something enjoyable to do and get him Walking around for exercise.   We don't need to Buy anything, but Window Shopping in an Antique Mall is still Nostalgic and Fun, gives me an Idea of how the other Antique Malls are doing, compared to ours, too.  That's Helpful to discern whether it's our Mall just floundering, or if all the others are experiencing the same shift since the Incoming Administration came into Power?   I just know people are cautious right now, and rightly so.   I have Friends telling me even the MAGA they know are realizing, oh shit, what have we done?  I knew that was coming, they'd have to be hard core in Denial or mired in Stubborn Ignorance, to still think they'll be better off unless they're among the Elite or Wealthy of Society.

I had to go to Three different Grocers to find affordable Eggs.  We go thru a lot of them with having 3 Generations in the Household, and, it's a staple I'd rather not do without if I can still find affordable Eggs.   But, even the Grocer I found them at reasonably priced, was out of most Brands and had Signage up saying that the availability in the Future is not ensured and they apologized for any inconvenience.  Some Grocers literally had none, and others had them priced in the Stratosphere, I won't pay over Ten Bucks a Dozen for any Eggs.   The Happy Egg Brand I always Buy, wasn't anywhere to be found.   They are Sourced from Arkansas and I did Wonder if perhaps they had an outbreak of the Bird Flu and had to euthanize many of their Flock?  Online is says they haven't been impacted by Bird Flu, but clearly the Stores that usually carry their Brand is having supply chain issues then.   Online is said 2/3 of the Chicken Farms in Minnesota have been impacted tho'.

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Hanging Tough in Arizona... Dawn... The Bohemian