The Middle Granddaughter in Mexico sent us pixs of her Grandma Saint Maria's Funeral, it was a lovely one. She's actually being Cremated so they Rented a lovely Coffin for the Viewing and Memorial Service, making it all affordable for the Family. The Big Issue now will be whether Social Services get involved with Three Minors living alone without an Adult's Care in the Home? They'll just have more Time on their Hands now their Gramma doesn't need Care 24-7. Unless her income was all that was sustaining them, they just have to keep doing what they already were doing for a long time now.
Seriously it's not as if they haven't already been living alone unsupervised for Months now along with Caring for the Old Lady before, so now not much has changed except the Extreme Caregiving they were burdened with. It's not like Adult Protective Services ever got involved either, to check on Saint Maria's Welfare, let alone the status of the Minors. And, let's face it, last Year their Dad was shot and abducted out of that Home by Bad Actors and the Police got involved and did nothing for that Family afterwards either as far as Welfare checks.
And whether on this side of the border or that side of the border, it's not uncommon. The Social Workers assigned to our Case while I was Raising The G-Kid Force, only ONE of them was ever up to her Job. She was a Saint and Cared... some of them were assigned to us and we never saw them in the Years they had our Case! One in particular named John, we don't even know if he was Real or a Phantom Caseworker for the Five Years he never contacted us or tried to make contact with us! *LOL but huge Eye Roll coz that's Serious Neglect of a Caseload.*
So, I told The Daughter to remain Calm until we have a reason not to remain Calm about it all. Chances are, the way these Systems work, or fail to work, the Kids will reach Adulthood before anyone notices they've finished Raising themselves without The System making a bad situation even worse. The Oldest one will be an Adult in 3.5 Months and then she could have legal Custody of her Two slightly Younger Teen Sisters. If she can apply as an Adult for a VISA to visit America with them in tow, she can get them then all across the Border if need be. They all have an American Mother, Custody was always the Issue.
The Ex-SIL a long time ago could have resolved the Custodial Issue to have me as the Default Guardian should something happen to his Mother, but, he failed to. I already had Custody and Adopted his Oldest Daughter he Fathered by our Daughter, Princess T, so, it wasn't as if he felt I wasn't a fit Guardian, he just was neglectful to get Legal Paperwork in Order. Which was a similar problem we had on this side of the border actually and why the Adoption process became so protracted... becoz then we were also dealing with Two separate Country's Laws. The Mexican side hasn't been as problematic as the American side, to be Fair.
When any Children have a Foreign National Parent, the American side gets really squirrelly about avoiding an International Incident. Especially if they've been shitty to said Foreign National Parent, as they were with our SIL, deporting him when his legit Work VISA for a big Company like Boeing, where he worked here in Phoenix, ran out and they wouldn't renew it. So, he had to be transferred to work for Boeing back in Mexico, while they still had a Factory there with Contracts. But, the Mexican Plant Closed after losing a big French Contract to make Helicopters. And his remaining here illegally after his Work VISA expired and wouldn't be extended or renewed, made it then impossible for him to ever be allowed back... so, it's a Catch 22 situation.
When he got deported The Daughter left with him, it was just after Princess T was Born. In fact, ICE came to the Hospital Maternity Ward becoz he'd been forthright about having expired Documents to the Social Worker assigned to The Daughter's Case. So, if he'd gotten Custody of his Newborn they'd of Deported the Baby with him!!! With The Daughter's SMI, every time she gave Birth a Social Worker showed up to ensure placement of the Child. Oddly, Social Services never did a damned thing to ensure a Safe Pregnancy and she was often Homeless with zero Prenatal Care, so, the Safety of the Baby or the Mother was never REALLY "the" Issue IMO. It reminds me so much of the whole Reproductive Rights Issue and Far Right faux stance about it being "About the Babies".
And our Immigration System has been broken since before I was even Born. My own Mom was a Foreign National who carried a Green Card {which now are Pink} the entire time she lived in America, whether Married to my American Dad or not. And becoz their's was an Intercultural Interracial Union too, she always went Home to her Country to give Birth to us Kids. She didn't want to have us at an Indian Hospital or any other American Hospital outside of a Reservation, since Racism and Bias, including prejudiced treatment, about Interracial Couples, was far worse than it even still is today.
Anyway, we're taking it all one day at a time and in stride, what else can you do? The Daughter is Calmer now, she's had a few days to process what's going on. But just losing her job and now all of this, was just a LOT to process all at once, even if she wasn't burdened with Mental Illness. Her Boss came by the House and paid her $100 more than he owed her for her last Paycheck, he wanted to give her extra to send to her Kids in Mexico after hearing about their Grandma's Death. He's a good Man, he's just doing what's best for his own young Family by moving to a smaller safer Town to set up his Business.
He had a lot of Work here, but his Business location was getting more and more sketchy and Ghetto. Lots of Homeless and Drug use in the area were causing a lot of problems with Businesses being broken into. And they were right next to a Liquor Store owned by a lovely young Arabic Family, who were not the problem, we all became good Friends with the Owners. But, the Liquor Stores attract a demographic of the unsavory locals that was starting to hang out around his Mechanic's Shop Business which is directly behind the Liquor Store. And that was a problem... plus, an Alleyway ran beside the Mechanic's Shop on the other side. The Homeless/Addicts were setting up Camps in the Alley.
Tim just got tired of running them off, waiting for slow Police response when he had to call them to remove a problematic situation, and picking up the dangerous Drug Paraphernalia and Garbage left strewn around his Business when he'd show up every Morning. I used to transport The Daughter to and from work until Tim started doing it for me. Coz he didn't wanna put me in any danger being in that area with the Human Sideshow that was evident all the time now, like a "Walking Dead" Episode. I've lived in worse Neighborhoods, but, I know what CAN happen if you're not OF a Neighborhood like that and actually Living there, you become a Mark.
So, I can't say I was Surprised when he said he was relocating the Shop, looked locally and then decided he didn't even wanna stay in the Metro Area at all, and chose Prescott instead. My Vendor Friend Judith just bought a property in Prescott which she's Closing on any day now. I worked with her Last Night and she said she used the proceeds from Selling her Property/Home in Washington State to Buy the Prescott Property. Homes in Washington State sell easily and high. She owns multiple Properties, she's a Widow now, but her DH was a wealthy Trust Fund Baby and she's a Retired Bank Executive, so they owned multiple Homes as wise Investments.
She still now has Three again, one in Sun City West, one in Buckeye and now one in Prescott. I introduced her to our Realtor, whose also a Friend of ours, so he's likely handling her transactions now and handled the Sun City West Purchase, it's a gorgeous Home I assumed they'd Retire in and Sell the others. But, she's now just using it to Store her Inventory, which was a Surprise... but she likes the Buckeye Residence more since it has a Pool and is much larger. The Sun City West Home is huge, so, living Alone I don't know how much Home you really NEED when you're well over 70... but... it's her decision to make. Some folks need or want more Space than others, I get it.
She's a Friend of mine but sometimes she is difficult to Work alongside becoz she can become very distracted and last Night she was filling in for my other Friend Crazy Ed. She left early to go up to Prescott and that left me trying to cover the whole Floor, it always gets Mad Busy the last Hour, so, that was a problem. My other Friend Christy was on Shift but she had to cover the Greeter Desk and all the Cashiers were busy, so couldn't relieve her to be able to Help me. So, I was really tired when I got Home and couldn't stay up 'til 4:00 a.m. to assist TJ with the Irrigation that was coming that early Friday Morning. He got it done tho'. *Whew*
I took a bunch of Pixs at the Antique Mall while working Thursday Night, I'm light on Blog Fodder Imagery until later this Month when all the Halloween and Autumnal Themed Events are Hosted. When I went to our local Grocer they had this Awesome Voodoo Ranger IPA Prop Display, I so WANT it. *LOL* You'd have to know someone on the Inside to procure a used Commercial Prop like this tho'. So, I just took a Pix of it for now and will ask someone who works there what they do with the Props when the Promo is over? I'd be interested to Buy it if they'd be willing to Sell it, or if they are even allowed to? I'd hate to think it gets tossed out as garbage.
This Vendor was foofing her Booths, I don't know her really well but she's a lovely Young Woman with a great way of Merchandising and Staging her wares, she does Seasonal Themes well. She's one of the few Vendor at our Mall who does a complete Theme thruout the Year in both of her Booths, which are side by side. She spends Hours doing it even tho' it looks effortless, it's clearly not. I got to talk to her at length that day and she likes to do Ghost Tours and Paranormal stuff, she's clearly a Kindred Spirit, we'd get along fabulously. We talked about going to Jerome, she's been there several times too.
Not that THIS isn't equally terrifying!! *Bwahahahaa* I Laugh like Hell every time I view the Video Clip, and The Daughter added Music behind it of "Don't Worry Be Happy", making it even more hilarious! *LMAOROTF* The only flattering thing I noticed is that my facial Skin is pretty Wrinkle Free, which is a Positive, there is no Filter smoothing me out, except for the Eyelash application which was imposed by some App she used that can add funny things like Eyelashes, Animal Ears or Noses, Devil Horns, Sparkles, etcetera. I know the Grandkids Love to add those features to many of their Photos they Share Online. I have no idea how to alter my Images that way for Fun or for Flattery. *Ha ha ha*
I'm not feeling good today, had the Trots and Sulfuric Burps, no idea where it came from, didn't eat anything at all for half a Day before it hit. Am hoping it just goes away so I can do what I'd intended to do today? The Son had broken a fav Halloween Coffee Cup this Morning while making his Coffee. When he's klutzy like that and shaky, I know that Emotionally something is Wrong, so I asked him Whatssup? He hadn't wanted to talk to me about it, not knowing how I'd receive the information, since, a LOT is already going on that has been troubling and upsetting. Apparently Social Services got hold of my Ex Husband's 2nd Wife's Adult Daughter about his 15 Year Old Son whose been in Foster Care and Group Homes since Age 2.
Well, they'd gotten hold of me too earlier this Year, trying to find placement for this Child, he has no-one apparently, so they're skip tracing any connections via Biological Connections or previous Relationships his Father had. Well, the Woman has The Son's information to get hold of him via Social Media, so she said she agreed with the Child's Caseworker to have a Visitation arranged, since, he's her Half Brother too, her Mom Married my Ex while he was Serving a 27 Year Maximum Security Prison Sentence, foolish Woman, and was apparently a Prison Nurse... why Women do that is a complete Mystery to me, but, some do!
Years ago when he Married this Woman, her Adult Daughter was very concerned about it... and managed to trace that The Son was a Bio Child of his and wanted more Back Story. Well, The Son initially thought the Gal had the wrong identity since her contact stated that her Mom had Married his Dad. He considers The Man his Dad, he's never known his Bio Father and wants no contact, knowing my Ex is a Psychopath and dangerous, poses a threat to our Family. Anyway, long story short, she asked The Son whether he wanted to be a part of the Visitation since the little Brother had asked if he could be? He was agonizing over this decision and wanted to talk to me first about it.
I know he wants to at least meet this Kid, my Ex also has an Older Son he Fathered as a Teenager, but, that person has never tried to make contact like this Child of his has. My intel was that the Oldest Son was given up for Adoption, since, both Parents were only 15 when he was Born, so, he may never know and that's probably for the best really. I told The Son it's his decision to make but be Guarded and don't give out any personal info about our Family, for our continued safety, since the Ex isn't Dead yet. Even if he was Dead I'd want Proof. *LOL* I don't know how much contact, if any, this Teen has had with either of his Bio Parents either? I feel bad for the Child, but he could be very troubled, likely is in fact, and I don't need that added Drama in our lives.
I gave The Son my Blessing to at least meet up with the Caseworker whose arranging the Meeting with both Adult Half Siblings, but, don't get talked into anything. I suspect the Caseworker is trying hard to get either Adult Sibling to bond and take this troubled Teen in. Since, things aren't working out at the Group Home, which, is very Telling. By the time a Kid is placed in a Group Home, Foster Care hasn't worked out either and he could have serious Behavioral Issues and/or Mental Health Issues that were nurture related or genetically inherited. Not every Parent keeps their seriously Mentally Ill or considerably Disabled Child(ren), I realize we're exceptions to that Rule. Many Families give up, give in, give out, can't or won't handle it.
I told The Son that if he has to privately talk to his Brother's Caseworker, he should explain that he has SMI Diagnosis himself, is an Alcoholic and recovering Dangerous Drug Addict, Single, living with his Parents still and can't afford Rent elsewhere, and would not be appropriate placement. He has to Work long Hours, he can't Single Parent any Child, especially a troubled Teenager. The Kid would be left alone 12 Hours a Day with no Supervision if The Son got Custody! Not to mention the Safety factor for our Family, due to the History with my Ex being a previously Life Threatening one. And that's not hyperbole, we had to have Police Protection until he got Sentenced for a Serious Crime and locked up. We got notified upon his Release. With my contacts at the DA's Office I keep tabs on his whereabouts when they're known.
I'm sure Social Services knows ALL about my Ex, so, they should also know that if this Young Woman or my Son were even to be able to take this Half-Sibling in, it poses a distinct threat to either of them and their extended Families. My understanding is that the Half-Sister is happily Married with a Young Family of her own, she can't risk that either. I do understand why both she and The Son want to meet their Brother, but, I don't know if that will just make things harder for him and for them, since, it is doubtful either of them can take him out of his current situation with being a Ward of the State. It's a tough situation but I'm not Surprised the irresponsibility of both of his Parents contributed to it and he's an innocent Victim and collateral damage. It's a shame, but we've got our own problems, we're not taking on someone else's.
I try to balance our compassion with practicality and realism, you can't solve everyone's Situations and Issues of Life even if you are compassionate enuf to genuinely Care. The Daughter is keeping busy with Home Projects for me as a welcome distraction to not have to think about the things she has no Control over concerning her Youngest Children. As soon as I can assure I don't need to be right by a Bathroom I'll take her to Wal-Mart to send some Money to the Girls out of her last Paycheck. She also gave Princess T her Birthday Money while she still has some. Whether she can get employment or SSI Disability remains a big unknown right now and I know it's troubling to her. A specific practice Attorney may become necessary if we have to go on an Appeal with SSI qualification?
I try to avoid that if we can, since they take a huge chunk out of the back payment Settlement that someone on a limited SSI Disability Income can ill afford to give up for Legal Representation Fees that are exploiting the situation with The System. I personally think Social Security should have to cover the expense of Legal Fees if they were withholding a legitimate Claim from someone who should have Qualified all along. Perhaps then Social Security would not deny Claims for bogus reasons, but it's almost as if they are in cahoots with specific practice Attorneys who make a Living off of exploiting the Disabled and most Vulnerable who were Denied Claims that should never have been Denied in the first place? That's my own take on the racket that has become the Disabilities Claim Process.
Often the Caseloads are so high that they don't even get to your Claim for Months or Years to Process it either and in the meantime the Client is left with no means of Support or Care, it's a National disgrace. And it's Intentionally Disgraceful actually, a lot of it could be Solved with proper funding and overhauling what is clearly a broken System that isn't Serving who it should appropriately. With any Bureaucracy this is not at all unusual actually and why a lot of people are opposed to Government Programs and Agencies that seem not to be Working for them or have so many Issues that even people not reliant on them are distrustful of it all. I see the Alt Right preying on those breaches of Trust and inefficiency of various Systems. Tho' their "Solutions" are far worse to do away with it ALL, becoz the only thing worse than a System not working well, is, no System at all for the most vulnerable of Society. It's all they have.
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Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
I hope you feel better soon! Ain't nobody got time for tummy issues.
ReplyDeleteLove the fodder today. I am getting in a fall kinda mood. Now if the weather would just cooperate. Thinking about your extended family and hoping things work out for them.
I'm hoping it is a 24 hour stomach thing coz I don't have time for this! Lol 😂 I feel miserable and am monopolizing an entire Bathroom! Smile 😝... Dawn the Bohemian
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