Today, in Real Time as I'm creating this Post, it's a Monday the 3rd of August and the Social Security Caseworker had told me she'd be calling me to go over how many other Agencies and Mental Health Facilities The Young Prince has been seen by or Institutionalized in? It's a Laundry List and I only Wish we'd been able to do all that when we initially went down in Person together and with all the Paperwork verifying it all, would have expedited the decision making process. But, it's the Beaurocrazy and so what are ya gonna do? Even Briana, the Caseworker, was perturbed her Co-Workers Downtown had given me Bad Information and been too Lazy to take all the Information she'd need and I had readily available right from Day No. One of the Application Process. I personally think it's done Intentionally to delay or deny, but I didn't say so.
I got a Letter in the interim from Briana, but probably sent before she and I talked the first time, asking for it all in Writing, I will need to Confirm if that will be necessary now or not? I do Hope she gives me accurate Information, I may just send it all in anyway, with Copies attached of all the Mental Health Paperwork I've kept on File, it will be a Fat Package and considerable Bedtime Reading for Briana. *Winks* From Age 7 to Age 25, it's a Big Fat File of dismal Diagnosis, grim Prognosis, and unsuccessful Treatments, Counseling and Therapist/Shrink Visits, sporadic Institutionalization thru Mental Illness Facilities for Youths and Adults, and Penal Mental Health Incarcerations and Court Decisions, for the most part. Read it and Weep.
If it doesn't Move her to Approve him for Services and Benefits, I don't fucking know what will? Welcome to America's Mental Health System and Social Services Determinations for the most Vulnerable and Unwell of our Society. She sounds like a very Nice Young Caseworker, not sounding like she's yet on Burnout, so the Chances are better than usual I'd say for a preferable Outcome this time around? If not I'll bury their Asses in Appeals and Bad PR coz I do Plan to be a real Pain in the Ass and go all Dark Dawn tenacious, fixated, relentless and Obsessed with making this my Mission in Life now to have this Problem go away and be Resolved in our Favor, if given Nothing left to Lose. I can become laser Focused and Obsessed with a Fixation that has no Boundaries. The Gloves will be Off and it'll be Cage Match Time to take Down any Opponents standing in my way as Barriers to my Goal. My Loved Ones are worth whatever Sacrifices have to be made... Mine... or whoever else I have to Sacrifice to get what they Need? *Winks*
The Young Prince assessed how it was going when we talked last and said, he really doesn't even think they'll require him to be here? Tho' he will be if they insist, becoz he doubts they want to Meet either one of us in Person, up close? If they've even Read our Case File? He could be Right. *Bwahahahaha* I know DES, after they met me ONE Time in Person, with The G-Kid Force in Tow and Unmedicated, with given Nothing Left to Lose... always did our Recertifications after that by Phone. Saying, Mrs. G., it's Okay, you don't have to come in anymore, we'll just review your Case with a Phone Call and Rubber Stamp that shit. And so they did for as long as the Kiddos Qualified for the parsing out of minimal Services they provide to Kinship Placements who don't get Paid or Reimbursed for expenses like Foster Families would to have Wards Of The State being Supported by Kin instead of all on the State's Dime. *Eye Roll*
Listen, I Saved the State of Arizona and the Federal Government a shit ton of Support and Services they never provided already for 45 Years Plus, with Seriously Disabled Loved Ones, so I'm fucking DONE now. So, Forgive me for going Postal on anyone's Ass who gets Assigned to me and tries to delay or deny Services now. While Billionaires and Career Criminals in the White House Sphere and their Cronies are allowed to Loot, Rape and Grift The System relentlessly 'til there's absolutely nothing left. I'm not Playing, I will go to the Mat and that better be the Hill they're willing to risk their Career and mebbe even Die on? I ain't got Nothing Left to Lose, so I no longer Care. If they have much to Lose, then we'll both have Nothing Left to Lose by the time I'm finished. Coz, I'm Generous, so let's just now share that 'Joy' I've been experiencing for Decades now, of Hopelessness and Despair then... Misery fucking LOVES Company, don'tcha know? *Winks* I'm getting ours while there's still some left.
Can you tell I'm gearing up for that Phone Call with Miss Briana and have the War Paint handy, just in case it does not go Well or in our Favor? *LMAOROTF* I have a large Tote Bag filled with his Paperwork, made a Short List for myself to go quickly over the Hilites in no particular Order:
Aurora Behavioral Health {Juvenile Institution for the Mentally Ill}
Valle del Sol {Shrink and Therapists, Meds}
Southwest Behavioral Health {Shrink and Therapists, Meds}
Adelante Healthcare {Mental Health Adult and Pediatrics}
St. Luke's Behavioral Health {Adult & Juvie Institution for the Mentally Ill}
Jewish Family Services {Shrink and Therapists, Meds}
Chicanos Por La Causa {Referrals, Advocacy for the Disabled and Specializing in Assistance to the Hispanic Community at Risk}
Ombudsman Education Services {Alternative School for Troubled Youth}
IEP's and various Alternative Schools for Troubled Youth in Three different Unified School Districts.
Until they finally ran out of places to pass him off to and deny him an Education due to the extent of his Disability and their Inability to find Placement that is remotely Suitable or could meet him at his Point of Need and not just Warehouse him like they do the Severely Developmentally Disabled Kids, some of which don't even know they're there. So by and before his 15th Birthday, they'd ALL given up on him Academically even tho' he has a 148 IQ. They tried to even place him in a Reform School coz it was the last option they said was left for "Kids Like Him", which was a very Broad Statement given he didn't have any Behavioral Issues and wasn't a Juvenile Delinquent ever, and wasn't on Court Ordered House Arrest like all the other Kids there. It had Razor Wire on the Fences like a Prison and they called it Intake instead of Enrollment and all Doors were on Lockdown with Security Card Access or Exit, it was Horrific, Screams down the Hallways... we took a Hard Pass! No way was I subjecting my Grandchild to that kind of Trauma, being touted and veiled as "Alternative Education" for Kids The System and Society discards!
Even the Warden/Principal and Facility Therapist said it was an inappropriate Placement so they didn't even know why we'd been sent there? I do, nowhere else to send us, they'd passed him around like a Hot Potato for Years by then and even our CPS Caseworker was getting irritated and appalled with what he'd endured or punishments given him by School Officials. At one Point, they said at an Administrative IEP Meeting, in front of my CPS Caseworker who came with me, that they withheld FOOD if he didn't "Act Appropriately"!!! OMG, did they not realize that constitutes Child Abuse, Yes, she Reported it, Heads rolled, but at least we found out coz he hadn't told me for Fear I'd go down there on the Warpath and roll some Heads myself and catch Charges!
Of coarse at the last location he was sent to for Troubled Youth, he hacked their System to "Enhance" it coz they couldn't afford Enhancements and didn't get Grants to. They lamented this fact in front of the Special Needs Students, which was irresponsibly Stupid. So, he thought, well, I'll do 'em a Favor at No Charge and Surprise them. Oh Boy were they ever Surprised!!! *LOL* By then we had a Federal Agent showing up and Administrators were shitting Kittens about it and banning him permanently from any Placement, saying he was a potential Threat to School Security. What "Security", a 14 Year Old Special Needs Child in your Care was so Unsupervised he was able to do this and you didn't even know it?! I was HOT they were Blaming him, a Child, and threatening us with the Feds!!!
They claimed it would cost them Thousands to Fix what he'd Done and accessed Sensitive Information of the whole Student Body... with no Malice intended, he wasn't even 15 yet and thought he'd done a Good Thing. So I made him Fix it in front of them, took him less than 5 Minutes at Zero Cost!!! Yet, they Claimed he couldn't be "Taught" or "Educated"... go figure. Actually he Scared them, I can tell. When folks Fear something they always vilify it and don't want it around. Remember in the Old Days when they Burned the Witches at the Stake coz everyone Feared the Witches more than they Feared the ones who would Burn another Human Being at the Stake? Yeah, Society is often like THAT!!! Grossly misplaced Fears about what is different or they don't understand or don't align themselves with by Societal Standards, whatever they may be at the Moment in Time. Standards that shift constantly too.
Anyway, while waiting for the SSI Caseworker Call I Priced some Inventory here in our Bedroom, got a Box of Specialty and Band Vintage T-Shirts ready for the Showroom now. Might go in later to stock them. Still have to look up a bunch of Pokemon Cards, Labor Intensive but they Sell so well you have to take the Time to do it and price them properly. Right now I'm focusing on the most desireable ones I know are worth more for sure, then look those up and price them. I still have a lot of other Genre of Merch but right now don't have the Space for any of it until some clears out and gets Sold. I do need to get around to going around the Showroom and thru the Locked Case to see what's malingered in Stock too long and either reduce the Price or Donate it to have the Space to put something Fresh. Anything is only Worth what someone is willing and able to Pay for it.
I think why most Housing has become unaffordable is becoz Richer folk who already Own Homes, and Multi-Billion Dollar Investors and Developers or Home Flippers, are Buying them up as Investment Vehicles. Rather than leaving Modest Priced Homes for People who don't currently Own one. The Government does need to make it so that some Affordable Housing is for Home Buyers who will live in them as their Primary Residence. So, the Problem will never be Solved so long as Investment Vehicle Home Buying isn't controlled so they are preventing regular folks needing and wanting a Home to compete and be able to Buy them. Most Homeowners need a Mortgage so simply can't compete with Cash Buyers who don't require a Loan or who have Corporate Funding coz they're so Wealthy they can get Loaned enormous amounts of Cash without the usual Qualifying and Requirements. Today it's this and Tomorrow it could be something else.
I happen to know folks who are fortunate enuf to have a Primary Residence, a Vacation Residence, and own several other Investment Houses, and yet, don't have any compassion for someone who has None and cannot find Affordable Housing. Mostly due to having absolutely no Point of Reference. Since, when you've enjoyed such Privilege, it can often be completely unrelatable to you that Basic Shelter is a Need for some that is completely unattainable in Today's Economy. That even Landlords are charging such outrageous Rents now that it isn't even Affordable for most people anymore, so they cannot even afford to Rent, let alone ever Own. Even Seniors I know who are in Subsidized Senior Housing are having their Rents increased substantially every single Year without a Break. And without regard to whether it will Price them Out of having Shelter or taking up all their Income for Housing and nothing left for any other Basic Needs like Food, Water, Utilities, Medical, Medicine, Transportation!
I just got notification from my Rx Provider, Express Scripts, which is thru our Military Retirement Provider and Insurer, that they're currently out of my Insulin Injectable so can't renew it right now. Lucky for me I have enuf until HOPEFULLY they get it in for Auto Refill... we'll see how long it takes them to Stock it again? Kinda Scary when Major Insurance Providers are running out of Life Saving Medications, whatssup with that? The Bot began the Phone Call notifying me then auto transferred me to a Human Representative who was a very nice Young Woman and an American so it wasn't some outsourced Call Center in India or the Philippines with someone barely able to speak or understand my language. *Whew* I'm good with Accents, but if someone's grasp of the English Language is marginal and I don't speak or understand their Language, neither one of us is able to then properly communicate and resolve anything Customer Service related.
So I can't have those full Bags of Aluminum Cans sitting around more than a few Days or they Melt or fall to bits if they're the kind that go Brittle. I could use the Cash they bring in too. And my Punch Card is almost full and that will Earn me an extra Ten Bucks. Every little bit helps. I haven't ventured Outside much Today and am still in my Jammies. The Son bought "Whataburger" for himself, The Man and I. He forgot Princess T was Home but she's a fussy Eater so probably wouldn't want anything from there anyway since she's not familiar with it. I had never had their Hamburgers or French Fries, both were decent, and, well, it was Free to me since The Son's Treat for us, so I can't complain. *Smiles* He was Jonesin' for some Green Chile Hamburger they have. I had Coupons for what he got his Dad and I, so mine was actually Free to him too, it came as Comped Food for his Dad's Meal with the Coupon.
Well, just Fuuuuuuck. I don't even wanna Call our Grandson about it, I'll just wait until after his Birthday on the 8th, so it won't be spoiled with a Pessimistic Update. I Hate now that either of us got a bit Hopeful. Now I don't even Feel like getting dressed and going to the Antique Mall and the Recycle Center in 110+ Degree Heat of the Early Afternoon. Coz I definitely don't wanna drive anywhere or be around People right now. I don't Feel anything actually about it all... becoz it's so fucking predictable and Status Quo as to be expected. It's like this Fake News Breaking now about how Donnie Two Dolls just Signed a Bill to HELP Military Families. No, No he didn't, no HELP is actually coming or happening or even being considered. They just FORMED A COMMISSION to discuss all the Issues Military Families Face, have Faced, for Generations of Service to Country now. And why so many of them are among the Poor and require HELP in the first place and need to be on Civilian Social Service Programs.
And have Grievances that have been Heard over and over again but nothing Changes. They didn't Need to Form a fucking COMMISSION to find that out, any of us who've Served could and have fucking told them that FOR FREE. And they've done nothing to Solve it, Nada, Zip. Yawn. Families Separated during Deployments where they can't bring their Families means you're now Supporting Two Households on an Income that even couldn't often Support One Household. Depending on where you're Stationed, the Cost of Living can be High, Low, anywhere in between. Pretty sure someone in the lowest Cost of Living States of Oklahoma, Mississippi and West Virginia have a lower Cost of being able to Live there than anyone in Hawaii, California and Massachusetts, the highest Cost of Living States.
Yet, if you're Military, your Salary doesn't change when they send you to live anywhere in the Country, or the World for that matter. And a lot of other Countries have a higher Cost of Living than America... so, there ya have it... the Government has always fucking known this Fact that Military Families face... they're not "New". Plus, most Military Spouse Dependents have to give up their Jobs or Careers in Support of their Military Spouse and that Career. So, a great many are One Income Families by necessity, we were a rare Couple that I could still hold down and Keep my demanding Careers and made more Money than The Man did in his Military Service at his Top Rank. So we were Fortunate that I could actually Support us even when the Military was making things difficult for us Financially. And they did, often.
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Even when The Man was Medically Retired involuntarily as a 100% Disabled Veteran, it took 18 Months for him to get his first Disability Check! And I had to Lawyer Up to get it that "quickly" or it could have been longer, and we may not have gotten all the Back Pay they ended up Awarding him becoz our Attorney went Hard to get him everything he was Entitled to without getting Screwed Over. He was unable to Work at any Job, so that would have been a Year and a Half with NO Income had it not been for mine Supporting us totally. And he had a LOT of Medical Expenses the VA, and TriCare were not Covering and that's all the Insurance he had at the time coz he wasn't yet Old enuf for Medicare or to Collect Social Security either. It's also Why I had to keep juggling a Demanding Career even as a Full Time Unpaid Caregiver for longer, so we'd have SOME Income until his Pensions and Disability Checks were coming in regularly enuf. Imagine Families that couldn't or didn't. What Losses they would incur?
I took a Nap that lasted 'til 6:29 p.m. so nothing got done, mebbe Tomorrow. *LOL* It was discouraging to wait all fucking Day for that Call that didn't get a damned thing accomplished. The Prescription Fiasco Call about my Insulin being unavailable yielded better results. Coz at least I MIGHT actually get it?! *Ha ha ha* Ah, well, I'm now having Microwaved French Fries from "Whataburger" that The Man didn't eat for his Lunch and calling it my Dinner. What I've eaten Today is the Diet of a Young Child without Supervision. *Bwahahahaha* I forgot to tell you all about my Score of finding a Mrs. Santa large 1960's Era Thomas Dam Troll from Denmark for only $2.50 from the Downtown GOODWILL on Sunday that I got with everything else. How could I forget to mention or Photograph her?! *Gasp* Well, better late than never, my Memory ain't so good or sharp anymore, so, it happens.
The only thing that wouldda been better is if they'd had Santa too, but I guess this Mrs. Claus Troll is either Widowed or a Divorcee coz he was nowhere in sight. *LOL* As you can see she's well over 10 Fiesta Ware Stacked Bowls high for Scale. *Smiles* Those were just some of the Colorful Score of those I got from The Granddaughter's SAVERS location recently along with a slew of the Colorful Mugs too. It's been a Bonanza lately of things I Collect being at the Chazzas, Booyah! I was having very Weird Nightmares while taking that Nap, so I was glad to Wake Up. There was a big Flood but no Rain with it, more like Rivers overflowing, and we were living in a previous Property we Owned over 30 Years ago nearer the Agua Fria River, and it got up to the Windows of it and the whole Street was a raging River, of Dark turbulent Water, like the Flash Floods bring in Monsoon Season, and come up fast and dangerously unexpected, it was terrifying!
I climbed out a Window and only Princess T and The Man were Home and inside, so I had to get them up to the Roof too 'til we got rescued. I'm assuming we did get rescued. It was Weird to be in that Property in the Dream, coz that's the Property we lived in when her Mom, The Daughter, was Younger than she was in that Dream, that we lived there, about 10 Years Old in the Dream. So, Princess T was 10 and never had lived there. Yet, The Man and I were our Current Ages, which we never lived there when we were Old either. So getting him at 74 and her at 10, up on that Roof, thru a smallish Window that was already partially submerged, was harrowing and just in time not to drown inside of the House coz the Doors were not gonna open with the Water being that high against them already. Strange Dream, and we all stayed eerily very Calm and Unemotional thru it, but Flood Dreams generally mean you're overwhelmed by strong Emotions and are facing a loss of Control, usually going thru a Major Life Change. Well, that would fucking Track, No? *Bwahahahaha*
Stress, Anxiety and Grief in Real Life are too many Feelings and building up, feeling too hard to Manage and NOT Feel, which is my particular Coping Mechanism, NOT Feeling Emotions. I do feel dragged down by current Problems and a flooded House generally means Personal or Family Issues are making you feel unsafe or invaded in your Private Life. Yep, all Tracks pretty accurately I'd say. The Subconscious Mind is a fascinating thing in how it manifests in the Dream World and I'm always assessing Nightmares or Dreams I Wake Up and can still remember vividly, which, isn't that often and is way different than a Premonition. I can tell the difference coz Premonitions I know will happen, so they're much more alarming and I pay close Attention to. Premotions take Action in Real Life when you're Given them. Dreams and Nightmares are completely different experiences. I know Premonitions are Warnings or Forewarnings that actually are gonna happen. Dreams won't happen. This Flood won't happen in Real Life... just in the Dream World, which is Good. *Ha ha ha*
I haven't been able to find me a good 8" Porcelain Vintage Tudi Po Grandmother Earth Protection Statue yet, like this one that was on a local Altar during the Floods, but I did get a very nice Tu Di Gong Earth God Protector Husband Statue similar to the one Below that was on that Altar. My Maternal Grandfather always had Chinese Altars, I didn't know enuf back then to recognize all of the Statuary of the Altars, I know more now. These are Taoist. And I align more with those Belief Systems than with Buddhism. I used to think Gran-Gran was Raised Buddhist, by his Surrogate Chinese Parents who Raised him and Four of his Younger Siblings, while his Widowed Mom, of Didi Kai heritage {Mixed Romani, Didi Kai is a Slur Term, but I don't know how else to call it coz that's all the Welsh ever did}, anyway, she Raised her Older Six Children. She still had contact with her Younger Five tho', but they lived less like the Welsh or Roma, and more like the Chinese.
But the more I know about each Religion, I'm pretty sure he was Taoist. Buddhism focuses on escaping suffering and reaching Enlightenment. Taoism focuses on living in Harmony with the Natural Flow of the Universe, and Teachings of the Natural Order, the Tao. This is why my Welsh Gran-Gran and my Native American Dad were always so very Close, similar Belief Systems and ways of Worship in so many ways. Both had a Goal of living in Balance and Simplicity, going with the Flow of Nature rather than Fighting it. Tho' Dad became a Christian and got Baptized in order to Marry our Mom, he never really strayed much from his Roots of Belief, which, I am more in Tune with myself even tho' I became a Christian too. Some Belief Systems are just IN your Spirit Naturally and you don't have to Become, because you just Are. I prefer living in Harmony with the Natural Flow of the Universe and in complete Harmony with Nature, it is so deep IN my Spirit Naturally, always has been there, that I couldn't NOT live that way, if that makes any Sense? I wouldn't even know how to.
I don't know what became of this Altar, my Hope is that the original constructors of it took it Home after the Floods were over, and that Parks and Rec didn't just destroy it and throw it away? No way to know, I would never disturb one myself. My Tu Di Gong is pictured further Below and I won't make an Altar until I have his Wife, Tudi Po, with him. You sometimes have to be patient to find the right Vintage or Antique Statuaries of various Religions. I have Collected them for a very long time and they are among my Oldest Collections and the ones I rarely ever Resell. I've given some away tho'. That's more appropriate. If something has been Blessed, I will not Sell it and it can't be Bought from me, but I will Give it as a Gift.
Anyway, still looking for Grandmother Earth, one day Tudi Po will show up to complete the Creation of that Home Altar. Yes, you can Google to find anything For Sale, but I'm very particular about what Religious Statuary I Buy. She has to be Porcelain, not Resin, she has to be 8" high like my Tu Di Gong, Gilded and a decent matching Mate for how he looks, like the Couple in the local Altar, which were perfectly paired. I do trawl the Asian Grocers Religious Section often to see if they have her, she'd be a Modern Porcelain there tho', which would be acceptable if she was made by a Quality Producer of Altar Products, so far, no Luck. And, to be Vintage or Antique, they can be extremely expensive too, so she has to be within my modest budget as well, which is a consideration. I have found Antique versions of both, often Together, on E-Bay, and those are for Serious Collectors of Religious Antiquities and way out of my League as a Collector. My Seller was out of Cali and quite reasonable for the Vintage Product in such good condition.
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Oddly, SAVERS has had a lot of Vintage and Antique Good Quality Asian Religious Statuary recently and I have bought some of it, tho' not all of it. Their Prices of coarse reflect that they have no idea how valuable the Donation was by the Donor. My hunch is that their Pricers wouldn't even know what they were looking for to determine Value, unless they Google Lens it and I don't know they have the Time to do all of that with Donated Merchandise or Care enuf to, which is Fine with me as a Buyer. *Winks* You know what you know, and you don't know what you just don't know. *Smiles and Winks* Anyway, I'm not gonna waste all Day Tomorrow like Today got wasted.
I never got out of my Jammies all Day Today. *Ha ha ha* But the long Rest from that Nap was probably needed and sometimes you just have to accept a Do Nothing Day. The Son and Princess T were Home for much of the Day so they could look after The Man while I Slept. I did get some Inventory Priced, but I never turned on the TV, never ate much, so it was almost a Fasting Day as well. I got the Chores done around the House, which have to be done daily, and took Care of The Man's Needs, so... it's NOT Nothing really, but as close to Nothing as I can ever get. *Bwahahaha* If I could do absolutely Nothing, I don't know how I'd even handle that kind of Day? *LMAO* It would be so foreign to me I might not even feel comfortable with it and holding that Space of absolute Nothingness to Do? *Smiles*
There's always Something to Do, I'm just not always Doing it... Dawn... The Bohemian
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