I'm stealing a profound Sentence from another fav Blogger that described exactly and in one Sentence, how I Feel about Downsizing and the 'Stuff' I formed Attachments to and have trouble sometimes Detaching from.
"I don't necessarily want the things anymore, either, I want what happened around them."
Thankyou to AGING AWKWARDLY Blog for that profound Sentence, one that I have never been able to put into Words myself. Wow.
What happened around them is long gone, forever gone, sometimes the People too. And with every Object there are People attached to the time, place, experience, Memory, that was happening at the acquisition of it. I always try to remind myself when Detaching from the Stuff of Life, I'm not Selling or giving away MY Memories, someone else will Create their own when they possess whatever it is. I can Keep the Memories. Problem is, once the Object is Gone to remind me of said Memories, often I can't and don't Remember anymore. Those Objects tied me to the Memory somehow in the Data Banks of my Brain. Which are pretty scrambled and in bad shape these days, those Data Banks of Memory Storage, I think I'm at Capacity and Saturation Point this many Years in to Storing Memories up there, there's not a lot of Room left for more Data or Organizing Old Data efficiently to Retrieve without an Object prompting it? *LOL*
And it's True Times have Changed, people don't do what they used to do, not Socially, not any kind of way really. I'm the last of the Dinosaurs that still does a lot of the things I still hold onto stubbornly and do. Socializing is waaaaaay different, like the fellow Blogger, I used to Entertain a lot and so did my Friends and extended Family. I miss that too, nobody does it anymore... or at least hardly at all. Sometimes even if you do, it's hard to get folks to show up. Everyone has such busyness of Life these days that Socializing has become quite secondary in Person, or mebbe not on the List at all of things being put on a Calendar, not even during Holidays. Were you the Hostess with the Mostest? Did you go all out and Over-The-Top with everything, especially Celebrations? I did. I remember even Hosting Wine and Cheese Parties and I don't even Drink, and if I did, I doubt it would be Wines.
But, I did it for my Friends coz they were all Drinkers, and, I like Cheese. And it was just Fun and brought people together Recreationally, we all had Demanding Careers. When we works, we works hard, when we hangs, we hung loose. *Winks and Laughs* We'd make a Big Deal of every Party, every Gathering, we had Themed Parties sometimes, Toga Parties when that was a Thing, Masquerade and Costume Parties at Halloween, Christmas Parties, Hayride Cookouts, Keggers around Bonfires {again I didn't Drink but I'd fund some of what Kegs would be there}, Pool Parties {still have some of those with the Younger Generations, I doubt you'd get Geriatrics to show up to one even if all our Friends weren't Dead or Moved Away now, LOL}, New Year's Eve Parties, Baby Showers, Bachelorette Parties before the Weddings, Church Picnics, Easter Egg Hunt Gatherings with the corresponding Easter Buffet Spread. Fuck, I'd make up reasons to throw a Party!!! *LOL*
Now, my Kids grew up around that Atmosphere when we were Younger Parents, so they have Fond Memories of it and often lament that their Generation mostly ceased doing it. They Love to still do it, but participation wanes with their Friends. Except for Immigrant Families, they still do all of that all of the time, usually every Weekend. *Smiles and Bravo, Standing Ovation!!!* But, by the time I was Raising Grandkids, it did slow down, it didn't Cease. But by then almost everyone I was hanging out with were other Young First Time Parents Raising their Families and getting together coz all our Kiddos were Friends. Few Grandparents in my Orbit were Custodial Grandparents Raising Grandkids and so most of them didn't want little ones or Teens around and your Invitations to whatever they were doing, ceased entirely.
Coz you couldn't do it without your entourage. And now your Life is completely different than their Experience. There's no real Point of Reference anymore. When you become a Full Time Caregiver to ailing or Disabled Loved Ones, same thing happens too, it Isolates, your Social Life becomes a thing of the Past, and would have to be exhumed and Raised from the Dead. I had no Lazarus Moments, it just Died it's Social Death and I put a Daisy on it and went into Mourning after Burying it, of sorts, you Grieve lots of things that become Lost or will never be. Your Traditions and Rituals may Evolve and Change over Time too. I don't even know I'd have the Bandwidth to Host a big shindig anymore? The G-Kid Force would lament, why are all these people here and when are they going to leave? *LOL* Both being part of the Anti-Social Social Club, they prefer NOT Peopling. And their Tribe is very much like that this Generation coming up. They're very De-Socialized, aren't they?
As it is my Old Hippie Communal Multi-Generational Style of Living and often having Long Term Houseguests takes getting used to even for some of the Family. They aren't as comfortable with it as I always have been. The more the merrier so long as they all get along and play well with others, respect the House Rules and each other, combine Resources and look out for The Good Of All. Sharing is Caring. Throw more Water in the Beans if there's more Mouths to Feed. Sharing your Time is the most Priceless Gift coz you ain't getting any of that Time back. Needless to say I made that Statement to Princess T this Morning and by the time she got off Work at 1:00 p.m. early, she'd already Made Up with her Boyfriend Rusty again, the breakup being as brief as the last one. Do you still Care? Coz the Sharing of each other's Time is Priceless, we only have so much of it, so only Spend it if you still Care for the Person, don't Waste it otherwise.
Most of my Interactions Socially these days are limited and Situational, which is Fine at this Season of Life coz I got a lot going on. I can't exactly Prioritize Socializing like I used to. Even tho' when I had demanding Careers and Corporate Lives, Raising of Families {Two Generations of 'em}, somehow I still managed to squeeze in a busy Social Life. I don't know how I Managed that actually, now it seems Insane... and I guess it was just a higher Priority and a Season that just has passed, a Ship that has Sailed, and tho' I've accepted that, I don't really want or need the Stuff anymore, so I'm Downsizing again ad nauseum and have been for Years now... but I do Want what happened around them. It's not something I can Have, but it's still a lingering Want, coz the Memories of it all are Priceless and yet fading as I get rid of one Object at a time that ties me to them. And helps me Remember. Coz I am a really Nostalgic Sentimental Fool to the Max!!!
If you give me something I really think is hideous, or could never use, wear, or even like one iota, but with the Right Heart and Spirit behind Gifting it to me, I'll Keep that POS becoz of the Person attached to it. *Bwahahahaha* I've had someone point it out, WTF is THAT, it's not your Aesthetic or Vibe at all, it looks out of place! Oh, well, So-And-So gave it to me and that's the only Value it has to me actually, I just can't always bring myself to get rid of it. So, often I told Loved Ones and Best of Friends, a Gift Of Service or Money is much more Appreciated. *LOL* And I don't find it to be lazy or impersonal at all, always the Right Size and Color if it's Cash... and Gifts Of Service are my Love Language. However insignificant or small what you do or did you think was, it means a lot to me. Then you'll be my "Favorite". *Winks and Laughs* coz ... and the Competition then begins with everyone vying to be my Next Favorite for a Minute. *Smiles*
Now, to be perfectly Honest and Transparent, I didn't get to do all the things many of my Friends and Relatives got to do due to my own Personal Commitments and Obligations. My Careers were both extremely demanding, I Raised Two Generations of Kiddos with Special Needs, and I've been a Caregiver for a very long time too, Generationally in fact. So, I had to bow out of a lot of things I could have done, would have done, experiences that would have been great to have had. Some shit fell off the Bucket List along the way coz I got more Time behind me now than in front of me and that fucking List was ridiculously long and unrealistic for the most part. When I Dreams, I Dreams BIG my Friends. And even tho' I'm Old now and Tick-Tock, I have ridiculously lofty Goals and Visions still that may or may not be attained. That's Okay, I'd rather have them than have none. If you have no Vision and no Goals, are you among The Living Dead then, I have to Wonder? *Winks*
I've got some Senile Purpura big Purple Bruises on my Skin all the time now and it Freaks the Kiddos Out! Sometimes I'm covered in Bandaids, so I buy them in bulk now. *Bwahahaha* What happened?! I frankly don't know and couldn't tell ya, it looks bad but it almost never hurts or bothers me, it just looks way more concerning... and even Tyson the Pit Bull does NOT like it, he'll lick where they are and whine, like he's really worried about me having those visible Owies. Bless him. Dog Tongues are very soothing, not like Cat Tongues, Eli will lick ya and it's like Sandpaper, not soothing at all even tho' he's being Nice by doing it. Which is Rare for Eli, he is a Scoundrel usually. Google says Animals may lick you a lot to show Affection and Bond with you, so, I accept their Love Language when they express themselves that way coz I'm pretty sure I don't Taste Good. I'm closer to being Mutton than Lamb, let us just say. *LOL* Tyson ADORES ME, the Kiddos get a real kick out of how Excited he gets to see me and be near me.
He literally can't stop Wagging his Tail when I'm around and his Tail is like a Whip, so everyone Laughs about it, look, when you're around Mom/Gramma his Tail spins like a Propellor! And it does, and he Smiles, he's a big Ole' Goofball like that and even tho' I am NOT a Dog Person, I Adore my Great-Grandpup Tyson too. Sweetest Dog ever. he looks Scary, is as Powerful as a Bull, and has a Head like a Bulldozer, but, he's Social as he can be and docile of temperament. He's a good Boy. I Wish he could just romp thru the Pasture without a Leash on him but he's become an Escape Artist and so now we can't Trust him not to get out and risk getting harmed. I don't know why he began Escaping coz for a long time he was fine being on the Acreage and it's all Fenced, so we really don't know how he's found an Escape Route, but, he has and it Freaks everyone out when he goes Missing on their Watch. We can't have that anymore. So, he unfortunately really screwed himself out of the Freedom he once had and enjoyed.
Kids and Animals, that's why they require so much intensive Supervision by Responsible Adults. The Grandsons and Sayde have been so Quiet it's not like they're even here and they rarely have ventured out. I haven't even actually SEEN Allen or Sayde since they arrived. They have to be using the Guest Bathroom, but when, I couldn't tell ya coz I haven't even bumped into either of them in the Hallways yet. They're like Ninjas and The Young Prince comes out to get any Food or Drinks for them too, tho' I said they're both Welcome to make an appearance. I mean neither one of them is Living here, it's just a temporary short Visit and there's absolutely no grudges or animosity they should be fearful of from the rest of the Family. Listen, if our Grandson is willing and able to work his Relationships out, we Celebrate that and Support it. He knows our only concerns is he's Safe and the Relationships are Healthy ones that don't turn Toxic or Unsafe. That's all. If they can Manage that, they have our Blessings.
None of the Three of them is very Socialized or Social, mostly due to their Mental Health and individual Diagnosis which just makes Social Situations and interactions harder for them. It's hard to fit in when Society deems you a Misfit and isn't particularly inclusive or tolerant. The Young Prince is like his Sister in that he doesn't mind his Solitary Time at all, he's not particularly fond of People and has a very limited and small Inner Circle, which is his Comfort Zone of Socializing at all. He's mostly in his own World and Bubble, which isn't always tethered to Reality, Schizophrenia is a very complex Condition... so is D.I.D.. Since The Young Prince has suffered a Severe Head Injury and does have Seizures too, the D.I.D. of his fractured Seven Personalities/Identities has not ever been formally Diagnosed. I want to try to talk to that Shrink about that during the SSI Clinical Qualifying Evaluation.
We're finally getting a couple of "Whole Foods" in the West Valley, one is near a big Mall and near where we almost bought that other Mini Farm that we dubbed "The Marilyn Monroe House" coz it was Contemporary Mid Century Modern Architecture. It had major Plumbing Issues tho' that weren't disclosed and our Inspectors found, so we backed out of the Deal and actually reported the Realtor, who also was the Investor who'd done the Remodel and Flip, coz he'd put Lipstick on a Pig, and that place leaked like the Titanic and had some Black Mold due to Plumbing Leaks, which required Remediation. So we dodged a Bullet there and like this Mini Farm and Home much better, more bang for our Buck too. But that one was walking score distance to a huge Mall, and many other Restaurants and major Shopping along Bell Road. The Whole Foods location, when it Opens, is damned near across the Street from the Mini Farms Community... dammit! Ain't that a Bitch? I've been harassing "Whole Foods" for Years now to build a location Westside, now they do right by what I almost bought as a Forever Home! *LOL*
Some folks Hate "Whole Foods" but I Love it and shopped the East Valley Locations, where they all are, for Years now. I also like "Trader Joe's" which has opened many West Valley Locations. One is pretty close to here so I can easily shop there and often do now. Location, Location, Location are the only real things to consider when Buying Real Estate. This one is close to a lot too, but not a Walk Score lot of them, close, but would be quite a Walk and not that convenient to Shop without a Vehicle. I Love Walk Score Properties, at the Historic Home we were spoiled coz it was in Olde Town near the Old City Center with lots of Walking distance Restaurants, Schools, Doctors, Post Office, Shopping, Dentists, Recreational areas, Events... literally everything we needed or wanted and many folks in the Historic District didn't need or even own a Vehicle. So, it was like Small Town Living in the City and everyone got to know everyone else in the Community so it was very tight knit for Urban Living.
May the Things and what happened around them bring you fond Memories to always Cherish... Dawn... The Bohemian
No comments:
Post a Comment