Friday, May 15, 2026

When Posed The Question Once Again... What ARE You?



 I've got only One Unpublished Post ahead, and just finished my Supper of Corned Beef, Cabbage, Baby New Potatoes & Veggies.  It turned out really good and I started it early enuf this Morning that it was ready to Eat by Noon.  Lately The Man will eat well before Sundown, when he gets Sundowners badly by Late Afternoon, and everything deteriorates then, his Mood, his Mental State, his Physical Condition.  So, I try to make Meals early for him and make them in such a way that the rest of the Family can partake of it thruout the Day, at the times they'd want to be eating it.  I try to eat well before or well after The Man does, so I can help him with his, but, still enjoy mine properly and not in Extreme Caregiver Mode.




For those of you who've had Kids, it's similar to when they were so Young that you would not get a Hot, or even Lukewarm Meal of your own, due to tending to the Children's Needs.  *LOL*  So, you work around it when you're a Caregiver of an Adult too.  The Man will sometimes play with his Food and spend more time Organizing things rather than eating, if you don't just give him all the time in the World to get thru a Meal at his Pace now and remind him to actually EAT what's in front of him.  He gets too distracted with his Napkin, his Utensils, moving his Food around like it's some Art Project... so Meals can become an Ordeal.  I also have to ensure none of it he can choke on, so you prep it like you would for a Toddler.  And don't give him a Salt Shaker now, or he'll empty damned near all of it on his Food before even Tasting it!




I've given to taking plenty of those individual Salt and Pepper Packets at Restaurants and giving him One of each to use with a Meal.  That's all the Salt you Need, Honey, and all the Pepper.  He's on a Heart Healthy and Diabetic Friendly Diet mostly, but he's Stubborn about following it as Religiously as I do.  And, since he's 74 now with lots going on, I just remember what my Dear Dad said near The End.  Dad Crossed Over just after his 74th Birthday, within Days of it actually.  He always told me, when I'd fuss at him for not behaving, "Sweetheart, you gotta Die OF SOMETHING!"  He wasn't Wrong and so he Ate what he wanted, becoz what was going Wrong with him, they couldn't do anything about anyway, just like The Man.  So, I don't limit The Man too much, I would rather he be Happy at this Juncture and Enjoy what he Eats.




He really likes Corned Beef and Cabbage, so he'll probably want 2nds or have it for another Meal just Fine.  It did turn out really good and I got the Corned Beef and the Cabbage on Sale at "Sprouts".  They're having a big Sale so I have stocked up the New Freezer with some of the Meats they had at great Prices and some of the BOGO going on too, which is an excellent Deal.  I got some expensive Irish Ice-Cream BOGO, it's called "Emerald", and it's excellent.  I got the Irish Coffee and the Salted Caramel Flavors, better than any brand of Ice-Cream I've previously thought was Primo!  So, even if it wasn't at Buy-One-Get-One-Free, I'd splurge on it now every once in a while as an indulgence.  It's worth the Extra IMO for a most decadent Dessert.




I Love Coffee Ice-Cream and have had about every other type of Coffee Ice-Cream on the Market for comparisons sake.   Theirs was by far the Best I've had, so I was blown away.  Don't mind paying double for something that is just that good, since I don't eat a lot of it anyway at a sitting or that often either.  So, I rather Buy the Best that I can afford and while they still have BOGO on the Brand, I think I'm gonna go back and Buy a couple more of the Flavors like the Irish Whiskey and perhaps the Atlantic Sea Salt.   They don't have a lot of Flavors, but so far I'm a Fan now of the Two I've already tried.   The Salted Caramel was exceptional too, that's another Flavor I happen to like enuf I've bought many Brands of that Flavor to compare it to.  It's Bougee and it is for Ice-Cream Snobs, Yes, but, you can Thank me Later when you give it a go.   You're Welcome in advance.  *Winks* 




Princess T was cracking up when I picked her up at Work coz we were Inside Shopping together and an Older Black Woman stopped us in one of the Aisles and asks me where I'm "From"?   I said Arizona.  And she says, No, I mean WHAT ARE You, and which Island are you From?  Then it dawned on me, she thought I was a Light Skinned Black Woman from the Caribbean Islands!!!  *LMAO*  I get that a LOT, not only from most Black People who've often thought I was a Bright Skinned Black and from "The Islands", but also from White People who often ask me the same thing and think I'm a Mulatto too.  *LOL*  My Kids and Grandkids think it's hilarious, especially since just this Week, it's happened several times and Scored me a Free Brownie Pizza at "Dominoes" from the Older Black Man who works there and was flirting with me.  So now The Man jokes and asks me if I can Score us another Free Pizza from my "New Boyfriend" at "Dominoes"?!  He likes Brownies you see.  *Bwahahaha*




The Lady looked very confused and said, well, I'm SURE you're "Ethnic", you definitely LOOK Ethnic.  I could have just responded by saying my Dad was Ethnic and Indigenous First Nations Ancestry.  But, Princess T just interjected and said, "No, my Gramma's a White Lady with Dreads."  She wasn't Born before my Dad Died, so even tho' she's seen Photos of her Great-Grand-Dad and clearly he wasn't White, she's always thought of me as being a White Lady.  And that's Okay coz I do Identify as "White" and usually just check that Box on Forms coz by Law, I am White and not with Ancestry of a Federally Recognized Tribe.  The Woman, after Princess T said I was White, just said, "Well, you don't LOOK White, you LOOK Ethnic."   She didn't say it in a Bad or Offensive way so I just said, "Thank You."  Becoz I consider anytime someone says that, as a Compliment and not as an Offense taken.  Even IF someone might have meant it as one. 




 And, I can't say for Sure of coarse what someone is Thinking, but I am pretty good at Reading folks and what remains Unsaid.  And, after she said what she said at the end of the Conversation, I got the impression she thought I was "Passing" as White.   And, in many ways, she'd be Right becoz I am not White, really, but I realize I have the Privilege and Entitlements that are afforded me by looking "White Enough".  And I'm Aware of that.  And some people do Feel some kind of way about that, all my Dad's Family do actually, it's resented.  And tho' it's very Weird, my Dad was always considered an Indian and treated like all Indigenous are Treated, had all of the Discrimination with none of the Federal Benefits, but, becoz East Coast Tribes mostly were not Federally ever Recognized, they're I guess considered "White By Law", then, I dunno really?  I just know nobody ever thought my Dad was White... and since most never saw a Native American either, they thought he was Asian most of the time, even other Asian People did.  *LOL*


  


Anyway, it was an Interesting unexpected conversation with a complete Stranger, who still looked skeptical that I was White.  *Bwahahaha*  Her Young Granddaughter was with her, a Beautiful Child and clearly was Mixed Race.   And as a Mixed Race Person myself, I realize that the vast majority of folks Feel you MUST CHOOSE a Race and deny what else you are if you're Mixed Race.  And if they don't LIKE what you Identify as, they can get Testy about it.  I'm as Proud of all that I am Ancestrally, but if I Identified as Native American, I Guarantee some folks would get upset about that too.  I've flat out had a White Woman at Work once tell me I COULDN'T BE Indian becoz I have Grey Eyes!   And tell my Friend Brett, who I was talking to about our Relatives on respective Reservations, he couldn't be Indian either, and his Grandmother is Full Blood Blackfoot!  She Presumed to tell us WHAT we are, we found it hilarious rather than Offensive actually.  *LOL* 


 


And some will get upset if I Identify as White, whaddya gonna do then?  And tell me, like this Woman did, you're NOT White, or you don't LOOK White.  *Smiles and Shrugs... Who fucking Cares?!   I don't, Racism and making things Racial all the time is just absurd and unnecessary IMO.*  I don't Agree with that, but it's how Society operates.  And to me, the Identity of Half Breed was always used as a derogatory Term and Racial Slur for Indigenous mixed with something else.   So I don't use it or say that's what I am either, but, if someone calls me it, I won't Take the Offense either.  How you Identify, whether Racially or Sexually, shouldn't be the concern of anyone else in Society IMO. 


 


What does it matter to them?  And WHY does it matter to them?   And Who is it "Hurting"?  I'm so used to it tho' that it's not "New" to me... except I don't think I particularly look part Black either... and it's one Race I don't think I have Ancestry of that we know of?  But, with Ancestry DNA coming back 21% "Other Of Undetermined Origin", who knows for sure, Ancestry Dot Com sure couldn't.  *Bwahahahahaha*  The Son, when we talked about the interaction at SAVERS said he gets asked all the time, are you a White Boy?  Are you an Indian?  Are you a Mexican?  People are never sure what Ethnicity he is, and most consider him Native American if they were to take a Wild Guess.  Even his Navajo Girlfriend assumed he was also Tribal.  He said he just let's people choose one FOR him... and just says, "Yes".... coz he is all of the Above aforementioned, so, Pick whatever One YOU want me to BE?  *Winks*



THEN Late April 2018

Oh, how Funny, I JUST Found this Old Pix from The Villa McManse Circa about April of 2018 when that Fridge was New!!!   We bought it when we bought the McManse, becoz the Sale didn't convey with a Refrigerator, or a Washer or Dryer.  We still have that Fridge in The RV Garage Mahal as our Backup Fridge and mostly now for Refreshments and the extra Freezer Space.  Our Buyers had bought a New Fridge of their own and didn't want it.   It's lasted 8 Years, but we had trouble with the Freezer Handle always coming loose and the exterior Ice-Maker and Water Dispenser going on the fritz.  That's why I didn't buy one with an exterior Ice-Maker or Water Dispenser this time.  But, we Loved the Middle pull out Drawer so much on this Model that we insisted on one when we bought this Newest Model too, we use it a LOT for our Drinks.  Saves opening the Main Door of the Fridge all the time.


NOW: Early May 2026


I hadn't even realized that both Fridge Purchases happened the same time of Year within Weeks of each other!!!  The McManse Fridge being bought on the 25th of April and this Fridge being bought on about May 9th!   I prefer the newer Features the 2026 Fridge has in Styling improvements.   And as I recall, the McManse Fridge cost me a couple Grand too, but this New one had $1,500 Off or it would have cost me over $4,000.   So, if it hadn't been on Sale for Mother's Day promotion it is showing that Higher End Major Appliances have about doubled since 2018.   Nobody's Incomes have Doubled since 2018 tho'.   So, it's actually then costing you way more of your disposable Income to make the Purchase for a necessity like a Major Appliance when one goes out and needs replacing.




Since our Night Manager had called me to tell me Customers had tore up our Showroom terribly and I needed to come in and fix it up, The Daughter had just got off a Cleaning Job near there and helped me do it after I picked her up.  It was tore up all to Hell, Feral Humans had absolutely trashed the Showroom, it was ridiculous!!!  Took us both over an Hour to get everything picked up off the Floor and put right, luckily nothing was broken.  There was even someone's Motorcycle Helmet in there and I don't even think it was Inventory of another Vendor, I think someone just forgot their Motorcycle Helmet!!!   My Friend Crazy Ed was working, so he was asking how things were going, both personally and there at the Mall.  So we had quite the conversation.  My Friend Judith was there and she was being Testy, she's pretty Old and lately has been Moody to the point she's confrontational.  I Hope she's not sliding into Dementia?

 



She became a Widow fairly recently and that's a big transition and Grief Process, so I try to be Kind and not let her Test my last Raw Nerve when she just goes too far with being abrasive and unlovely.  We've been Friends a long time and she helped us even move, in Heels no less, she's a Beautiful Woman and looks about 30+ Years Younger than she is, she's kept herself Top Shelf and Classy looking.  She's a Retired Corporate Bank Executive too, and a very Intelligent Woman, so it's a shame that her personality is deteriorating to where she's not tolerated well now.  She's too Serious all the time and thinks she can Boss everyone around and she's not in Charge of anything, so it's like, Calm Down and Chill.  Crazy Ed is Easy Going, but is Bipolar like me, and so when he's had enuf, he can go Dark too... and she was Testing him, I could tell.  He stayed Easy Going and we Joked about it, whaddya gonna do??

 



Anyway, The Daughter had got Paid and she gave me half of what she'd Earned as my Belated Mother's Day Pressy from her, awwwww, Money... always the Right Size and Right Color.  *Winks*   She bought a Denim Patchwork Cropped Style Jacket there at the Antique Mall and we used a Credit I'd built up to reduce the low price even more, it's really Cute and looked good on her.   She's worked tirelessly tidying our Showroom, she didn't want me seeing how it looked until she got at least half of it done coz she thought I'd Melt Down?  *LOL*   To be sure, I feel Customers who don't have Control of their Children or themselves should be asked to leave the Mall.  Just tearing stuff up or acting the Fool, or turning your Feral Children loose like it's a Playground is NOT Okay in an Antique Mall or any Retail Establishment for that matter.  Things get mauled, manhandled and broken or ruined that they have no intention of paying for to compensate for the damages they've caused.  It's Vandalism.

 



We've got Victor from Physical Therapy coming Tomorrow Morning for The Man's PT.  He says he's been here before so now I'm wondering if he's that Guy that came while I wasn't Home and wasn't Scheduled?  Coz I know that The Man said whoever came he had never seen before and I don't remember anyone named Victor.  We had Wendell, we had John, and the Young American Male Black Nurse who was from the South originally, he'd introduced himself to the Family before I entered the Room so I didn't catch his Name.  So, perhaps HE is Victor, I won't know until Victor shows up and I see if he looks familiar or not to me?  *LOL*  I liked the Young Southern Guy, he was really good with The Man and very personable, so I do Hope it's him?



  

Anyway, I did get to see my Printout from the Mother's Day Weekend's Sales, when we had everything in the Mall 15% Off.  I didn't do squat for that Sale, it was a Bust as far as I was concerned, nitnoid stuff Sold and then it was already low cost and now had another 15% Off the low price, so, Margins on inexpensive Smalls aren't good during a Sale like that.  I wanna Sell The Good Stuff and higher Dollar items during a Sale, but, only One higher end piece Sold AFTER the Sale was over, for full price, so, that was good and the only thing making this Pay Period not be a total Bust so far.  It was a relatively spendy Designer Purse/Bag I'd had and never used, so decided to just Sell it.  I still really liked it, but decided the Money reselling it would be better Served.  Anyway, everyone was saying Sales were Soft for Mother's Day Sales for them.  It had looked Busy that Day but apparently not a lot of actual Dollars spent?




Someone might have bought that Designer Bag for their Mom, but everything else I Sold was less expensive Collectible Toys for Kids so far.  I Sold a fair amount of the Pokemon Cards for example, easy Sell and Quick Turn, but not a big Margin until I Sell a lot of them, the the overall Margins are great coz I bought them as a Bagged Lot inexpensively.  But Selling one here and one there, trickles the Profits in slowly.   It's merely a Hobby, coz you couldn't make a Living of it there, some have tried to, all have failed to.  Some even fail to profit at all, the Economy is just too stagnant and the Collectibles Market too random these days.  Things that used to have Value have Lost in Value by a lot. If you didn't Sell in the Peak of Value, you Lost Money on what you could have gotten before.





 I enjoy that part in "Antiques Roadshow" where they make different Year comparisons to what something was worth then and is worth now.  Sure, some go up, some hold steady, which means they're actually still worth less now than then when the Money would Buy more.  But, most go way down even of the Best of the Best Stuff.  And often by Thousands less.   If something could have gotten you $100,000 then, but now only gets you $30,000, you're still kicking yourself in the Ass even if you're still getting more for it than you Paid for it, just as an Example of something much Higher End.   We have to Remember what things used to Cost and keep re-assessing Values, which fluctuate Wildly.  Anything is only Worth what someone is willing to pay for it in actuality.  Not whatever you Think or Say it's Value or Worth is.  If it's never getting Sold coz nobody wants it, it's pretty much Worthless as an Investment Tool to you.





 And I always keep in Mind that what I Bought for even a Bargain Forty Years ago, what I Paid then was considered more outlay than that same amount would be considered now.  I remember when Gas was Fifty Cents a Gallon in Arizona in 1974, but Minimum Wage then was only $2 an Hour too.  Gas now is $4.92 average in Metro Phoenix, $5.70 for Diesel and Minimum Wage is $15.15 an Hour... comparisons.  I'm a Numbers, Odds and Statistics Person.  I'm calculating that shit all the time in my Head automatically even when I don't have to.  I guess it's an OCD Thing in part, and an intrusive Though Processes I involuntarily do, that just happens to sometime be quite beneficial?  *LOL*   Which is Why I was good in some very specific Careers where that is beneficial and came Easy to me.  *Smiles*




Statistically things aren't looking so Good, but the Spin being put on them for the American Public is completely false and fabricated now, and shamelessly so.  You see what you see but they're telling you not to Trust and Believe your own Eyes, and give you some bullshit "Alternate Reality" you're to Trust and Believe instead, just coz they told you it's so.  And, some are, I'd say it's a lower percentile now, but the fact some will Believe and Trust anything, no matter how outrageous and obviously a Lie, is an Interesting delve into the Psychology.  Of Why you can manipulate some people that easily and effectively, and maintain their loyalty, no matter what you do to them that harms them and isn't at all in their best interests. 




People often Believe implausible things due to combinations of cognitive shortcuts, Emotional Needs, and Social Pressures... more often than a lack of Intelligence.  That's why some Intelligent folks can still be vulnerable to being manipulated, and of coarse the Uneducated or Undereducated are even more vulnerable to Intelligent manipulation that is too clever for them to even detect happening.   Things like Illusory Truth Effect, since repeating something makes it easier to process, causing Belief it's True regardless of Accuracy.  Confirmation Bias, since folks Naturally Favor that which confirms their existing Views, ignoring contradicting Facts. {That's if you have Factual contradicting Statements and can Discern that too for Accuracy if you might be prone to even Question if your existing Views could be changed by persuasion?}




Then there's Motivated Reasoning, we often use Fears, Hopes and Emotions to justify acceptance of information we WANT to Believe, even if it's illogical.  Lack of Critical Thinking Training, if you've been Conditioned to accept Authority Figures without Questioning.  Magical Thinking and a Need for Control since Conspiracies and Strange Beliefs can come from a Need to make Sense of the chaos in the World around you and make you Feel Safer.  Cognitive Dissonance Reduction since we don't necessarily Like holding conflicting Beliefs and so we may adopt irrational, reinforcing Beliefs to restore consistency and our comfort level.    And Social Influence and Identity since most Humans have a Need to Belong to a Group to maintain a consistent Self-Image.  




 I hope I didn't go too Deep into the Weeds there, but it's fascinating to me and Interesting to delve into the Psychology of what I see people doing... and why they might be doing it.  It's not really so Random and Manipulators and Predatory folk know that and study their Prey.  And, in actuality, in Life, mostly you're gonna be one or the other, Predator or Prey when it comes down to it.  Survival Rate for those who are 100% Prey all the time is pretty low, and an Apex Predator generally doesn't have a lot that Preys upon them except perhaps another and more successful Apex Predator that takes them out or asserts dominance over them.   Any Situation I find myself in I'm Mentally Assessing whether I'm potentially the Prey, or can hold my own against any Predatory Type in that Space with me, who could be Hungry, let us just say?  Silence about this isn't Golden my Friends.




Being in close proximity to any dangerous Apex Predator if they aren't Hungry isn't so unsettling as when they ARE.   And what concerns me is we've got Rouge Predators in our Highest Positions of Authority now who are insatiable and never Full no matter they have Excess, they want MORE, they want it ALL, and they'll do anything and everything to get it.  A Rouge Predator is particularly dangerous coz their carnage almost becomes a Sport and not born out of necessity anymore.  They enjoy devouring Prey or stockpiling what they can't even consume becoz it's Too Much already.  But the spree continues until everything around them is wiped out and devastated, they've greedily consumed all Resources already like a Plague of Locusts.   We definitely Need to watch our Backs and Keep our Heads on the Swivel, with at least One Eye Open at all times my Friends.   And I say this with Guarded Pessimism, Guarded Optimism I no longer even can muster.  We are presently being Consumed by Beasts with an Endless Appetite and no Protection.




All Protections are being stripped away and rapidly.  We're being Pillaged by our Own and Sold Out to our Adversaries simultaneously as the Spoils.  And now our Lead Predator In Chief is making Deals with China and I not only don't Trust him, but I feel China already owns too much of America and is buying it right out from underneath us.  What they're Investing is gonna Pay Off to them some kind of way that won't be beneficial to America, that's for damned sure.  We have a Chinese National that has bought up more than half of Old Town Glendale and decimated what once thrived and he either didn't renew Leases or made Rents so high on what he bought that they all moved out and blighted the area so he could buy more and cheaply.  It's not been good for that City's Economy to have an Adversarial Nation's Foreign National Buying up so much of their Commercial Real Estate and leaving most of it Vacant and the area being laid to Waste and Neglect, Blighted due to it.




 And Donnie Two Dolls wants to allow another Trillion in Chinese "Investments" to flow in... that's deeply concerning coz they're already infiltrated and overwhelming our ability to Track them and what they're up to.  So that Trip with all the High Tech Bro's as the Entourage to China, who are The Billionaire Boys Club, alarmed me.  Their culminative Investment so far are around Two Hundred Billion.  A Trillion more Scares me.   We've been a top Recipient of Chinese Investment already.  And their ownership of our American Farmland has soared... that's our Food Source, that should concern you that they control so much of it and keep almost tripling purchases and control of it.  Especially when American Farmers are in Crisis due to Policy in place and need Bailouts to stay Solvent... and Food Prices are soaring along with Gas Prices so it's getting less affordable for most Americans.   Gordon Chang has a New Book out worth reading about it called "Plan Red: China's Project To Destroy America.  Just sayin'.... I don't like where it's Heading and I personally Believe Chang is Right.   And, I'll Stop now with being this Ray of fucking Sunshine...


 


*******


Let's watch our Backs America and keep our Heads on the Swivel... Dawn... The Bohemian 

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

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