The Bad News Keeps Coming...It's A Seismic Life Shift

 With being up 24 Hours I Slept In, then, got woken to the Grandson panicking that the Fridge's Freezer in the Kitchen had gone on the fritz and everything had thawed out!  Yikes, we knew this Fridge is going out and limping along.  It was brand New when we bought this Home only 6 Years ago and was a very expensive Stainless Steel Appliance with all the Bells and Buzzers.  But, that means nothing, they only build Major Appliances now to last perhaps 7 Years tops before needing replacement now.  We've become such a disposable Society!!!  And workmanship on anything is shoddy and made to NOT last, so you must replace it all often, adding continuous needless expenses on essential products.

The only reason we could Salvage half of the Food was we had some of those Freezer Pacs in there and they'd kept it Cold enuf, but we lost half the Frozen Food.  And I'd JUST done the Shopping, so, that wasted a considerable amount of the Grocery Budget for this Month!  Luckily we have an Older, yet better built Fridge, from the McManse, that's in the RV Garage Mahal, so we moved everything to that Freezer that was Salvageable.  It wasn't all lost, but, a lot of really good Food was, such a waste and no way to have known.  Luckily the Fridge Portion is still Working, for now.

But, I'll have to go price Fridges now and see about having one more Loan to Buy one.  *Le Sigh*  I don't want more Debt on Credit, but don't have the Cash and don't wanna risk buying a Used one.  And, I want a nice one becoz we take Care and want expensive things to be the ones we really wanted if we're gonna have to make that financial sacrifice to purchase them.  New Fridges that are the size to accommodate a large 3 Generation Family are all expensive, so I want the one I really want if I'm gonna hafta finance it and make payments on it anyway.  Tomorrow I hafta go look at Fridges then before this one goes out and we risk losing more perishables.

Then I went to visit The Man, he'd had some Asshole Doctor who was On Call and didn't bother Reading all the information the VA and the Paramedics had transferred him over with.  Or what I'd told Staff on the previous shift before I left early this Morning at 5:00 a.m..   So, he expected The Man to know why he was there, why the VA transferred him, what is going on... when, The Man not only doesn't know any of that, he can't remember anyway coz of his Memory Care Issues and I'd made that Clear to everyone we Talked to the Day before and I know there has to be Notes on that which should have been conveyed to Shift Change Employees.  *Le Sigh*

So, that Doc made The Man feel badly for not being cognitively up to explaining everything, which now intensified his Anxiety.   So I railed the Head Nurse about it, she was great, but I told her I didn't appreciate any Staff Member doing that to him, making a bad situation we're going thru even worse.  And that it wasn't his own Doctor, just someone on Call, so I don't even know who this Guy was, but, they know who this Doctor is and I wanted them to know, I really don't want him around my Loved One if he's not up to the Job or feels some kind of way Negatively while being Assigned a New Patient.  Fuck that Guy.  He's Lucky I don't know who he is, I'd file a Complaint against him.

The Man looks Jaundiced, they're doing more Tests coz they do think things are going very Wrong with Internal Organs and they need to identify what and why?  They're taking more Blood regularly to Test and I told them he just had a Blood Transfusion coz he's got Internal Bleeding, so his Blood is low already!!!   He wasn't as confused, so I think the Transfusion helped some with hallucinations, Anxiety, Confusion and not getting enuf Oxygen to his Brain.  And he doesn't feel as Weakened.  He's got an Alarm on his Bed tho' and lots of Specialty Warning Bracelets on him... Fall Risk, Wander Risk, etcetera... each one a different Color Code.  He's on a Liquid Diet 'til they know what's going on with his Digestive System.

So, I had to coax him to drink some of his Lunch, he didn't like it, he wants Real Food, and it was Chicken or Beef Powder to put into Water to make a Broth.  It was a melted Popsicle, Cherry, which I poured into a Cup so he could at least drink it since it had thawed out and was leaking.  It was some Tea, some Apple Juice, some Cranberry Juice.  Not very appetizing at all and it's hard enuf to get him to eat tasty Foods anymore.   I just Hope they don't send him Home again and nothing has improved and it's a revolving door in and out of ER's constantly with Medical Emergencies becoz things haven't been addressed or identified and we're flying Blind in trying to Care for him at Home.

We can't just rely on MY Intuitions and Premonitions about what's going Wrong, the Medical Community Needs to catch up with Identifying it first and catch up, dammit!!!   Every time a Doctor or Specialist tells me they're in total Awe that my Intuition or Premonition was Spot On and eerily so accurate, I wanna say, yeah Doc, it's handy and avoids a LOT of catastrophic outcomes, BUT, I don't think we ALL should be relying on that, should we, No?!  It makes me nervous when I've predicted something way before all their Specialized Knowledge and Testing does! Or they miss it and I insist, check again, I don't have a Peace about those results, it missed something, and then they go back and find out I was Right and they were Wrong!  Fuuuck!  

Yeah, I'm sure it makes for some Good Stories for them to tell about the Old Gypsy Witch {or whatever they think I am, LOL}, who told them exactly what was Wrong, when they were Clueless and didn't know for sure.   BUT, I'm Paying THEM for their Medical Expertise to find out what's Wrong, run Intervention Medically, and Save him, am I Right?  *Eye Roll*  I don't wanna be the one to be Calling the Shots during a Medical Emergency that can mean Life or Death for my Loved One, based primarily on Intuition or Premonitions... as handy as that might be to us!!!  Dr. Patel, the VA Psychiatrist, who is East Indian, might be one of the few Shrinks I ever have met who doesn't think me having Premonitions like I do, is just in my Head as complete Nonsense... coz he knows how many times already it's Saved a Loved One of mine to have them.  I always appreciated that.

During this last Visit, when Dr. Patel remembered so much about our Unusual Family and it's Dynamic, he told me that if I didn't always have these Premonitions and uncanny Intuition, I'd of been a Widow well over a Decade ago.  I know this is True, The Man knows it's True, and that's why he always tells his Docs that I won't "Allow" him to Die, becoz I Predict it ahead of time and run an Intervention so he can't Die and Cheats the Grim Reaper.  *Bwahahahaha*  No, you can't have him, he's MINE and I'm holding onto him, go away.  But, Death has a way of always Winning in The End, and will come back later if not successful, so I know this too.  

If you have Nine Lives like a Cat, that 10th time, The Reaper will eventually come Get you.  The Kids all gathered last Night and told me I may not be able to prevent Dad "Going" for much longer!?  And mebbe he Needs my Permission to "Go"?  They could be Right?  I know he wants to and is ready to "Go", he's said so, and... all my Pep Talks are not encouraging him to "Stay" now, or to keep Fighting to.  He told me this might be the one time he has to Surrender and not Win a Battle he's been Forced into again?  I just don't know he's not got some Fight left in him and I don't want him Giving Up prematurely and too soon.  But, I don't want him suffering either, so, it's a Tough Call either way, isn't it?

LATER: Visited The Man with The Son, he was having a Scope Procedure at 2:00 p.m. to look into his Gut.  We also stopped at "Lowe's" where I have a Line of Credit to pick out a Fridge.  We got the G.E. Cafe 36 inch in Stainless.  They had one with a Black Interior and Copper Trims but it was $1,500 more and the exact same Fridge.  Plus ours was now on Sale $1,500 OFF the original Price, so we got it for $2,300 at 0% Interest for 12 Months, I was Happy with the Deal we Negotiated and our Sales Clerk, Manny, was really fast and Helpful.  It's being Delivered Tomorrow, I got a 5 Year Warranty which will replace anything that goes Wrong in 5 Years and if you never file a Claim you get 30% back. 

 They had a low Delivery Charge of $60 and only $50 to haul the Old Fridge away.  Ours is pictured at the Bottom but has some Upgrades and is exactly the same Inside as that Lovely Black & Copper Interior Upgrade Interior tho' with that Ice Water Pitcher in the Lefthand Door too, but, just all White.   For $3,000 less for not getting the Upgrade Colors and getting ours on Sale too at a Deep Discount, I felt it was the Better Deal.  I was ok paying $2,300 for a top-o-the-line Model, but $4,300+ was too much.  And ours looks just as nice on the Interior and has that whole back that Lights Up where it says Cafe', it Won Design Awards and compared to the other Fridges on Display, I can say why it did.  Once I saw the Cafe' Model, I knew I wanted one.  Had the Black Interior one been on Sale too I may have folded and gotten it, looks so Bougee and Uptown Luxurious with that Black Interior. *Ha ha ha*  So, they're Delivering it Tomorrow.  Yay!  The G-Kid Force cleaned out the Old Fridge and a Path to bring the New Fridge In and Old one Out.  They were excited.

So, Irrigation had come at 2:40 in the Morning until almost 4:00 a.m. and The Son did it.  But I noticed by around 10:00 a.m. that our Water was very high in the Yards and Pasture Area and asked him, did our Neighbors remember to Open the Main Gate back up to the Canal after they got their rotation, they get it after us and we Share the Canal behind our Homes, they live directly behind us and are a new Younger Hispanic Couple, very Nice, that bought Old Hippie Laura's Property.  Well, I waded out there with him and they had put the Gate up but folks Upstream to us had not removed Yard Cutting Debris, fallen Fruit and some Garbage out of their Canal beforehand and since Omar's Property is next, he has his portion of the Canal Covered and it had obstructions!  Shit, it now meant we had to remove the obstructions and rake it out to get the Water flowing again so it would quit flooding our Property!!!

We did it, but then wading back to the House, becoz our Water was so high and the ground so saturated, it was muddy in a spot and I slipped and fell, flat on my Back, laying in the Water like a Starfish!!!   The Son's Face was mortified and he's yelling, "Mom!  Are you alright!?"  And I'm just laying there in my Pajamas, completely now soaked in Icy Cold Water, it's only 70 Degrees Outside so it's Freezing to be that Wet, and it's Windy, I had Sticks and Goatheads in my Dreadlocks, and I'm Laughing my Ass off coz my Flip Flops had come off my Feet and were Floating beside me!!!  I wasn't hurt coz luckily the water was high enuf to break my Fall really, whew, but, I sure was like a Drowned Rat and his poor Face made me Laugh even harder, coz he didn't think any of it was Funny at all.  I could have really gotten hurt, so I know Why, Christ, he already has his Dad Hospitalized and didn't need me taking a Senior Fall during Irrigation!   It's why the Kids do it FOR me now.  *LOL*

He helped me pull the Goatheads Burrs out of my Dreads, coz Dreadlocks are like Velcro and so are Goathead Burrs, so that's all that hurt, pulling those out of my Hair.   And of coarse my Pride was Hurt a little bit, coz damn that Mud was so slippery I Fell FAST, he said like in a Second I was down flat on my Back, my Feet had gone completely out from under me and I hit the Water completely Horizontal!!!   Anyway, I cancelled the Two Home Visits The Man had Tomorrow with Nurse Remi from the VA and John the Wound Nurse and told them he's Hospitalized yet again, more complications.   And since it stayed in the low 70's and was high Winds all Day I did some Environmental Cleanup and got a lot of Cans, also traded in our Aluminum for Cash.

 But, that huge Fire in Buckeye is still 0% Contained and Residents are worried about that and upset none has been contained at all.   Especially with these high Winds, it started out being 500 Acres burned and now it's well over 1,000 Acres and Zero Percent Contained!!!   The lower Pix my Friend Tina, that I always meet at "Sweet Salvage Event", took from her Home's Front Yard at 4:00 this Morning, she's very worried they may have to Evacuate if the Fire Dept. doesn't get more of a handle on this.  They should have had some Containment this close to Cities and huge Residential Areas that only have Rural type Roadways in and out.  

If folks had to leave in a hurry, trying to get Thousands of people down Two Lane Roads safely and without Traffic Jams would be very difficult.  Like what happened in California when they had their uncontained Fires too close to Residential areas near Malibu.   Out where Tina lives some folks have Multi-Million Dollar Homes in the White Tanks Mountain Communities of Verrado out there.   And the Air Quality is shit now over the whole West Valley.  So anyone with Respiratory Illness is getting really ill from it and can't Breathe.   Tina said her Home smells like Smoke!!!   It's called the Hazen Fire.

I found some Old Attempts of me trying to do Selfies, Above and Below. I really Suck at it, which is obvious.   The Above one I had the Flash on and almost blinded myself and it made me look washed out, I'm definitely not that Pale, I almost do look White in that picture my Kiddos all said.  *LOL*  And my Eyes look more Light Grey in Real Life, I think I was wearing something Blue that day and when you have Pale Grey Eyes they reflect whatever Color you're wearing.  I've worn Turquoise before and look like I have Turquoise Eyes...Pale Grey Eyes are the most reflective of whatever you're wearing coz they don't have much Color.   And I was Surprised that only 1% of the World's Population has my Color of Eyes, I guess they're pretty Rare... but on my Mom's side of the Family several have them from the Paternal Side.  My Welsh part Roma Gran-Gran and my Mom also had the same Grey Eyes.  One of my Granddaughters got them too.

The lower Pix Above of the Trio of hideous Selfies is the most accurate of my Complexion and Eye Color, coz I was wearing a Shirt that matched my actual shade of Eye Color, so they didn't reflect any Color they aren't.   And also the most recent attempt, I still Suck at the Art of the Selfie tho', I ain't getting better at it.   The Young People take such great Selfies, I don't know how they do it, I always look positively demented or Possessed in mine!  *LOL*   I just Hope I don't look that Crazy all of the time?!!!!!!   But, mebbe I do, I dunno???   *LMAOROTF*

Above is the Granddaughter that not only got my exact Eye Color, but looks so much like I did at her Age that it's eerie, like she's a Clone of me.   So that Recessive Gene is still being passed along to yet another Generation, even tho' it skipped One Generation, coz neither me or my Brother had any Children with Grey Eyes.   The same with my Welsh Nanna's Green Eyes, skipped over my Generation and our Kid's Generation, but resurfaced and The Young Prince has them.  So, Two Generations skipped before that one showed up again.  Altho' on my Dad's Side of the Family I have One Cousin, Wewokajanna, with those same Green Eyes, which looks really Odd, yet Striking, on someone who otherwise looks Indigenous.

I do have some Good News... The Young Prince was Approved for his AHCCCS Health Insurance.  *Whew*  And, his Spider Bite drained and tho' it looks bad still, hopefully when he's been on the Medications for the 7 Days he won't have to go back to an ER for it?   And, now that he has Health and Mental Health Insurance he can get his Psyche Meds and also get a Primary Physician now.  I'll take him to where, me, The Daughter, The Granddaughter already go becoz I've been very pleased with the Care there.   Below is a lovely Photo of The Man's Home Nurse that the VA is sending, Nurse Remi, in her Traditional Country's Beautiful Ethnic Wardrobe.   She dresses in American Wardrobe mostly now, but I talk so much about her and how much her visits have helped our Family, I wanted to put a Face to the Person.  And this is a Lovely Photo of her.   

Remi is just a shortened version of her first Name, the ending of it, which his much longer and starts with an "O"... as is her last Name very long, and starts with an "I", and I'd probably mispronounce both horribly.  *Smiles*  I Love hearing her Stories of Home, tho', as a Christian Minority there, it is almost a Death Sentence and why all of her Family except her Elderly Mom, all sought Asylum in various Countries like America, Canada, and Australia.  They're all Trained Professionals and an Asset to each Country they Immigrated to and received Asylum in.  Her Dear Mother is over 90 Years Old and still lives in Nigeria... and probably has no Interest in leaving her Homeland where she's spent the whole 90 Years of her Life.   All of the African Immigrants I know speak fluent English as well as their 1st Language.  And they spoke English even when living in Africa, as well as whatever African Language spoken too.

I just Loved the Celebration of Life that the Funeral Home Created for my BFF, it's Beautiful and I Loved the Wording of it especially.   The Sunrise part of your Birth and Sunset part of your Departure is just Beautiful Wordage IMO.   It would be nice if her Daughter can Video Record the Service, Kathie and I attended Church for many, many Years Together and we also worked the Food Ministries for Decades Together working with Marginalized Populations in the greatest Need.  She was Tireless about Volunteer Work and overcoming whatever comes against you.  So, she was in so many ways a Living Testimony of triumph over a rough Hand Dealt.  Not Perfection mind you, she was as very flawed as most of us are, but, she had the biggest Heart and was Ride or Die for her Family and her Friends.  She would Help anyone and was Fearless, and when she was Afraid, she just did it Afraid anyway.  That's why she and my Dad got along so well, you'd of thought she'd been Raised by him and she truly Loved my Parents, and my whole Family.

*******

Peace, Love and Light to you from the Arizona Desert... Have a nice Cinco de Mayo Today my Friends...  Dawn... The Bohemian