Dazed And Confused

 I'll get to the Dazed and Confused Hook Line later in the Post and explain.  I'm once again getting ahead in Pre-Scheduled Posts, it's been a while since I could finish some to Publish in The Future.   Well, a Day ahead anyway, but, still, considered The Future, Right?  *Winks*  When I was out and about on Sunday I treated myself to a Luncheon at "The Cheesecake Factory".  My Fav dish is no longer on the Menu, it was a Thai Dish with Mango, that I recall was called Thai Mango Coconut Lime Chicken, but, they had replaced it with a Bang-Bang Chicken & Shrimp Dish, which is Curry, Coconut, Chile and Peanut, with Veggies, quite nice too.

The presentation was pretty, I ate everything around the Rice mound, but left most of the Rice, since it was rather dry and overcooked IMO and wasn't a nice Jasmine Sticky Rice.   I didn't need the Carbs anyway, and the Waitress gave me even more of their Divine Bread to take Home for the Family.  I only ate some of the Brown Bread they're famous for.  You can Buy it now in the Stores too, but I wasn't passing up a Freebie offered of Take-Home Freshly Baked Loaves.  *LOL*  They had a long Waiting List to get seated, but since I was Dining Alone, I got seated immediately and whisked right past all those stacked up and patiently waiting, like a Celebrity Client.  The Benefit and Perks of Solo Dining.  *Winks*

Awww, the Poor Old Lady is Dining Alone, yet she's so Cheerful to be doing it, they take pity upon you and pamper you like a VIP or as if you're their very own Gramma.  Having no Idea that anyone my Age living in a 3 Generation Household 24-7 and 365, while being a Full Time Caregiver, absolutely Loves her Alone Time and Cherishes it!  Plus, I can be very Good to me on an Alone Date.  *Bwahahaha and Winks*  A Young Couple on a Date sat next to me, I think it must have been a first Date, judging by the conversation, which, you couldn't help but overhear since you were mere inches away.  There are no Private Conversations when you're sitting that close to Strangers and Dining quietly alone.  *LOL*

At a much larger Table not very far away, was a large group of Young raucous Men nearby, boy were they loud!  Our Tables were nearest the Bar and I think perhaps they'd enjoyed quite a Liquid Luncheon and behaving like Drunken Sailors on Leave?   Either that or it was a Stag Party Group?   Let us just say they were very animated and oblivious that they were inappropriately too rowdy.  *LOL*   My Sweet lil Cute Waitress kept apologizing to me for delays coz she had her Hands full with that Table!  I at least Hope they were so drunk they Tipped her well for suffering them?  *Smiles*  I Tipped her well since, she gave me the real Hood Hookup on the Bread.  *Winks*

Today Amber came over and was set to have a Meeting with TJ about her Oldest Daughter getting pregnant by him.  Our Daughter went over with her to offer moral support, since this is a tense situation.  Nobody in Amber's Family is happy about it, and her Dad doesn't know his Granddaughter whose in her 20's and is Special Needs, got knocked up by a Guy in his 60's!   She's a tiny little Sprite of a Girl who weighs probably 90 lbs. soaking wet, so won't be able to hide being preggy very long and she's living with the Grandparents.   I think Amber wanted to know what he intends to do to support her Daughter and this Child?  The Grandmother is battling Stage 4 Cancer and the Grandpa is in his 70's, they already have a Three Generation Household too, so, don't need a Fourth Generation there!   Pretty sure Julissa assumed the Old Guy is well off becoz the Elderly Parents he lives with are.  And there's really only ever One reason a Young Woman is with an Old Man.

Anyway, it's a mess and I don't envy her Family the situation at all! Julissa is only a few Years Older than Princess T and has Special Needs, but she too is a pretty Girl and not Stupid, but she is Academically as well as Emotionally Challenged and Developmentally delayed.  I know how I'd be feeling if my Grandchild was Pregnant by a Man Old enuf to be her Grandfather!  Not Happy would be an understatement.   Especially when a Guy that Age knows he's been diagnosed with an aggressive form of Cancer, so pretty much knows he wouldn't be around to help get a Child Born next Year, Raised at all, even in spite of the Age Fathering said Child!!!   I know TJ's Family can't be Happy about this either, the Elderly Parents are devoutly Religious and disapproved of him even being around a Girl that Young, let alone getting into an intimate relationship!  So it was an issue of contention between him and his Parents already, plus him and his Older Brother Rob, who didn't want Young Girls hanging around their Home either.

Anyway, I asked The Daughter how the Meeting went, and she said about as well as could be expected given the circumstances.  Nothing Amber can really do about it except try to be supportive of whatever her Daughter decides to do now?   I personally doubt her Daughter is up to being able to Parent a Child at all actually.   Old Fathers, over 40 also have a higher risk of passing along Birth defects.   Plus, he's taking aggressive Treatments for the Cancer, which probably poses risks too when conceiving a Child while taking those Treatments.  It's a lot to consider on so many levels for both Families.   We're not even sure TJ's Family knows yet?   Amber's Dad sure doesn't and nobody wants him to know either becoz he would ask his Granddaughter to leave their Home and right now she doesn't have an alternative and neither does TJ. 

I don't like to see anyone going thru a complex Crisis and I really like our Elderly Neighbors, they've become good Friends.   And Amber's Family, who we've known since our Kids were really little and been very close to for Decades now.   Both Families are already going thru so much, they certainly didn't need this too.  Since I haven't been at Work I have no idea how anyone else is doing really that I used to see all the time?   Ever since The Stroke, I haven't been seen that much and cut way back on what I usually had been doing before it.  So, a lot could have been happening with everyone and I don't know about it.  Like I said in a previous Post, an Industry Friend had Died last Month and I only recently found out about that.  Everyone else already knew and just assumed I did too. 

Above is an Axelrod Basset Hound Bank, I have one that my Parents got as a Premium at the Flying A Gas Stations in the early 1960's, my Brother had one too.   I've kept it all these Years and he's worth a fair amount now.   I don't have a lot of things from my Childhood, but, this is one of them I kept and has Sentimental Value to me.   Funny how when I was a Kid something like this was Cherished, I don't know that a Plastic Dog Bank, that you couldn't even play with, would be to a Modern Child these days?  *LOL*   I remember my Brother and I also Collecting Stamps, Kids don't do that anymore either.   I can't even remember the last time I saw a Stamp Collection at an Antique Mall, or of one being Sold.

  I recall my Brother and I belonging to a Mail Order Club that would send you Stamps to Buy, I think it was called Mystic Stamp Co. and they'd send you a Catalog and you had Stamp Albums from them to hold your Collection.   I had Pen Pals, Nationally and Internationally, that I Traded Stamps with too.  And when I first started Collecting Vintage Rosaries, I had a French Canadian E-Bay Seller Friend, Marco, who'd Trade me Antique French Rosaries for Stamps for his Kid.  So, he got most of my Old Stamp Collection, which I'd Outgrown by then and had nobody to pass it along to, so the Trade was a good one for both Marco and I.  He'd just Inherited the Rosary Collection from his deceased Grandmother and had Sold me a couple on E-Bay.  Then we developed the Trade instead when he told me he was using the Rosary Proceeds to Buy his Kid Stamps for a Collection.

His Kid therefore got a Seasoned Stamp Collection in it's entirety and I got some Quality French Antique Rosaries in the exchange.  I still have all the Rosaries, they were spectacular ones.   Way back then not many E-Bay Buyers were Buying Antique Rosaries or Stamp Collections, so it was more mutually beneficial to us both back then.   I never did get rid of my small Coin Collection and still have that, it's another thing we Collected as Kids, Coins and Paper Money from across the Globe.  So, every time we went to another Country, or our Dad got deployed to one, we'd get Money from wherever it was.  We were in Great Britain when they changed over their Currency in 1971.  So, I had both their Old Currency and the New Currency.

I have Jewelry made from Old Coins too.  Something about Coins always appealed to me and I even have some Old Roman Coins and an Old Anglesey Mines Druid Coin that my Gran-Gran gave to me when I was a Kid.   At our Antique Mall a Locked Case Vendor Sells Old Shipwreck Coins made into Jewelry and some loose ones.

AND NOW:  To Explain the Dazed and Confused Hook Line Title to this Post.   I had not had any more feedback from either The Young Prince or The Niece about when this Spring, which officially starts next Month, they'll be Moving him back to Arizona?  Crickets.  So, I decided to see if it was still On and was Dazed and Confused by his Answer... and hers actually... let's go Deeper...

I knew this was a Big Life Changing Decision being made and he didn't want to make it hastily.   I think the Bad Weather and Blizzards there in New Mexico actually gave some more time to consider how best to move forward for them all?   I don't think he's so much waffling on leaving NM and returning to Arizona, or of getting the Divorce, that Horse left the Barn even tho' it's not Dead yet apparently, he's just not running after it and I don't blame him.   When the Horse is Dead you get off... but if it's just running Wild you have to decide whether to just set it Free and find what Works better for you too.  I think that's where they're at in this relationship, so no confusion there.  But what Dazed me is that he was so Cryptic about where he'll Live when moving back to Arizona and that there's more to the Back Story than I know!!!???!

So, it's like one of those Mystery Novels or Suspenseful TV Series with twists and turns in the Plot that you're not Privy to.   Now, since we offered up him moving back here and paying for at least part of The Move so he can manage it, that had been what we all expected to happen and he agreed to initially.   So, clearly, he's not waffling on moving back to Arizona, but might have some alterative Living Arrangement Offered?   I don't know if his Dad has offered, or some of his Lifelong Friends here?   I do know he can't Work and has no Income, so whoever it is will be in Caregiver Mode and that's the part that most concerns me.  People have good Intentions, but the Road to Hell is paved with them, as is said.  It's a huge Responsibility to take on someone with a Serious Mental Illness that impairs Quality of Life and their ability to Support themselves.

Granted, if it Works Out for him and whoever he might be considering Living with here, I'll be relieved and Happy.   I think, my Stroke, made him consider that I'm up under too much Stress to take on more and he's Right about that part.  I had the stupid Stroke just Days after talking to him, and none of us expected that, including me, but internally it could have been inevitable and that Timing was just When, you know?  I didn't want him blaming himself for it or thinking him moving back Home was THE reason my Health tanked, but he might be, I dunno?  He's being Cryptic for a reason and when he does that I know he just doesn't wanna Worry me about what he's about to do.   And mebbe he thinks I won't Approve or it would be better for him not to move back to our Home, I dunno?

And he eluded that he and The Niece still Plan to come for a Visit, and I'm assuming bringing his things with them, I dunno for sure tho'?  I know I can't fund Vacay Trips for "Visits", so I want to make that crystal clear, it's sacrificial for me to Help with a necessary Move that is a Solid Plan, not a loosely ever changing one.   Princess T said he keeps in Touch with her and seems to be doing better and moving forward, which eases some concerns.  His Mental Health is always fragile and subject to change without notice.  But I know Young People in their 20's tend to be impulsive about decision making and flying by the Seat of their Pants thru Life.  Whereas Age grants you the Wisdom to know it often causes complications to be reckless about bigger decisions made.  Especially if you rely on other people to bail you out of bad ones.

I do Need to be kept in The Loop if I'm paying for anything, since, finances are tight enuf without anyone expecting to be bailed out even more if they make other bad decisions as a Grown person.   I end up sounding like my own Parents with the "Money doesn't grow on Trees" Line.  *Winks and Smiles*   The Grandsons have pretty much lived Crisis to Crisis for a few Years now and I don't see either of them Learning not to repeat mistakes made in the Past that will carry forward to Haunt them in their Futures.   The problem with someone who has the complications of a Mental Health condition is their logic is impaired and often skewed by the Illness.  They can be very Smart and yet very Illogical at the same time and make decisions harmful to themselves and others. 

  This is why Autistic Elon shouldn't be set loose in all these Sensitive Institutions, especially of National Security.  Genius Boy can and will fuck up, ours does all the time in spite of the 148 IQ.  It's a highly Gifted and considered Genius range, but not infallible and is impaired by his Illness.   Autism is an impairment, many Autistics are Smart but their Adaptive Skills lag behind IQ.  And, if you Google Elon Musk's IQ it's not even known to actually be in Genius Range and is under intense scrutiny and skepticism.  Him being a Genius may be as Mythical as the Orange One being an astute Businessman.  Einstein IQ was 160, Steven Jobs 160 or above, Bill Gates 150, Stephen Hawking 160, Marilyn vos Savant 228, and a Male South Korean Intelligence Specialist 276.   Even Actor James Woods has an IQ of 180, Elon's not on The List of known Exceptional Geniuses and I suspect if he actually WAS one, he would be, so I have my Doubts.  He's arrogant, but Smart, is questionable to me.

 He may have very intelligent folks working FOR him and surrounds himself with Smart People, takes Credit for their actual achievements, we just don't know for sure becoz he's not very transparent.  Lots of Questions, no Answers that can be confirmed.  His DOGE Team seems to be a bunch of Weirdly Young Hackers, whose the actual Adult in the Room I do Wonder.  I see nobody Experienced or Well Known in that Inner Circle, so how much Expertise or Wisdom is actually verified in what they're doing?  My Genius Grandson could hack into any Computer by the time he was Nine.  He got permanently Expelled from Public and Alternative Schools for hacking into their Systems by the time he was 14, and "Enhancing" them without permission, becoz tho' he was very Good at it, he was still a Kid.   And Kids don't consider consequences and just becoz they CAN do something doesn't mean they SHOULD.   Underage Kids can conceive a Child too, they're Physically capable to, but, it's usually not a Good idea to.

You know what you know, and you don't know what you don't know.  But the danger lies in that some people have no idea what they just don't know and think they know.   I see far too much of that going on with incompetent and not adequately skilled people being put in charge of important things they know nothing about but assume they do.  A lot can get cocked up that way.   Running damage control behind recklessness, incompetence and what they've fucked up is very costly.  If the American Taxpayer is truly looking for Savings, they aren't about to find it via a Wrecking Ball that just obliterates things and only has a Concept of a Plan to replace anything, that over a Decade later never got beyond Conceptualization!   An abstract idea or general notion isn't a Plan at all.

Princess T is Bored this Monday and it's her other Day Off so she wants me to get ready and DO something.  I'm sitting here in my Jammies at Noon Blogging and could do that all Day.  *LOL*   I know, I'm becoming a Slug and I realize my Motivation is in Stall Mode, I literally don't Want to DO anything lately.  It's very uncharacteristic of me and I should Care that I'm Feeling this way, but, I can't muster Caring either.  Getting out of Bed is a chore lately and tho' I don't FEEL Depressed, becoz I'm quite Content and not actually Down, I'm aware that I'm Feeling some kind of way to be ambivalent about everything.   The Daughter is working tirelessly around the House, Art Studio and RV Garage Mahal and I'm not as enthusiastic about it, or about helping her, as I usually would be.  She's excited about it and that makes me Happy, and it is something Needing to get Done, so I'll be Glad when it is Done, long overdue.  Mebbe I'm just Burnt Out?

Burn Out happens whenever you've been doing anything too long and pushing yourself to continue unabated.   No matter what it is eventually you hit the Wall.   I'm doing some Work here, but sparingly, so that I don't feel overwhelmed or exhausted from the doing of it.  My Pace is slower than it used to be and it has to be slower.   I can't keep Pace like I could when I was much Younger and I'm not trying to either.  I told the Manager at the Antique Mall Today when he asked if I'm getting there on being able to come back?   To have me be On Call for an occasional Shift after March 7th and we'll see if I can last a full Four Hour Shift or not?  If not, then we'll wait longer, he's okay with that.  They want me back, but only if I feel up to it.  I don't know yet whether I will be, but I miss it.  I may not accept a regular Shift for a while tho', just be On Call and decide day to day if I can accept an Opening that Day, or not?

Princess T and I went in on Monday Afternoon to restock the Showroom and Locked Case with a few items I'd Priced to bring in.  It was some Smalls and some Shirts, things that are still Selling well enough to keep replacing the Inventory regularly.   Everyone was glad to see us and is happy to see I'm clearly doing better.   I may not be at Pre-Stroke levels of Stamina, but, I'm improving.   Even going out with Princess T to run some of her Errands after we Re-Stocked Inventory, I had to measure my Pace and how much we tried to do, she understood why.  She took me out to eat at "Wildflower Bread Company" for Brunch, her Treat.

 

We both had the 12 Vegetable Soup and mine was a smaller portion of it which comes with a Side, I chose the Strawberry Spinach Salad and Bread.  It wasn't busy there at all, it usually is, but most Restaurants lately, even the most popular ones that usually have waits to even get a Table, aren't that busy anymore, not a Good Sign.   I want all our Favorite places to survive and stay Open.   The Son had told me Yesterday that their Favorite Haunt, a Bar and Pool Hall nearby, which has been around in the same Location since the 1970's, is Closing this Week.  The Owner said he doesn't think it's sustainable with this tanking Economy so he's choosing to just Close his Doors.  Of coarse everyone Working for him will now be out of a Job.

Princess T was looking for a Desk, none were to be found and we went to several Furniture Stores, Home Improvement Stores, and a couple Chazzas.   So, while we were in a Home Improvement Store we did Lust after New Fridges.  They're expensive and would need Financing to be able to afford, but they sure have improved them and above was our Favorite.  They had a similar one a Grand less that only didn't have the Computer in the Door, which I wouldn't need anyway, and rather than a Black Opaque Door Surface, had a Whiter Clear Opaque Door instead and everything else was the same as this one.   I liked everything about this and they did have them reduced, but now I couldn't have another Payment for something.   The 2nd Pix shows the Door inside of the Door section, which can be Opened separately.   Princess T liked the Computer in the Door but I know we would rarely use it and for a Grand, wouldn't pay that much for that Feature.

 

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I Hope everyone can keep their Chin up... Dawn... The Bohemian