Beautiful Chaos And A Loss

We had a failed Family Outing on Saturday Morning.  The Son had asked if we all wanted to go out for Breakfast at a fav Restaurant?   Princess T declined, she didn't think getting everyone together and taking this Show on the Road would end well.  Her perception turned out to be accurate.   The Daughter and The Son were in the Back Seat of my Truck, The Man in the Passenger Seat, I was driving.  We needed to stop at the Post Office to mail some Bills and the Bank for The Daughter to get some Money transferred from an App that Andrase had sent some to her, into her Account.   That all went well, the Kids were laughing, but rather loudly and that kind of thing creates Sensory Overload for The Man and sours his Mood, he gets aggravated, even if it's Laughter.   Just about anything can make him upset for no real apparent reason.

I could see his countenance deteriorate and thought, Oh Shit, this Breakfast won't go Well if he can't Mood Regulate appropriately and becomes difficult.  So, I made Eye Contact with the Kiddos in the Rearview Mirror and asked if they'd tone it down some, it was agitating Dad.   I asked The Man to come back to Center so it would be a pleasant Meal.   Well, The Son decided to be a Jerk and keep Laughing loudly, his Sister knew their Dad was getting upset so she told him to just shut up, Stop means Stop!   With an Autistic, they can't and thus don't Read The Room well or pick up on Facial Cues and Body Language well at all.   Showing a lot of Teeth in a Smile for example, to someone with Autism, can be interpreted as threatening, stuff like that.  So, rather than de-escalate, The Son escalated.  *Le Sigh*

This then led to he and his Sister begin to Fight Verbally and I knew if he wound her Schizophrenic Ass Up, it would potentially get Physical and violent.   He can't Stop by now and I know it, The Man now is very Closed Off as well, so I tell everyone that if none of them can Cease, Desist and Mood Regulate, we're just going Home.  By now we're AT the fucking Restaurant Parking Lot and he does it, he torments his Sister to where now she hits him in the Mouth and angrily jumps out of the Truck before she goes Postal on his Ass!!!   Lord Jesus, now you've done it, so, I took both Guys Home scolding them both all the way Home, Crazy Motherfuckers, I don't Need this added Stress.  I was more Disappointed than Angry, when you've got this many Mentally Challenged Loved Ones it's just another Day in Paradise, where they just could not get along and play well with others, so, you abort whatever you were gonna do.

I sent each to their Rooms, The Son promptly fell Asleep and The Man sat in his Media Chair staring at a blank TV Screen petulantly.   Both knew they'd upset me, Princess T came out and asked me what had gone Wrong?   Not that she was Surprised it had, it's why she'd Opted Out, what were you Thinking Gramma?  She giggled and got me to Laughing, since, I'm always Guardedly Optimistic we can do things as a Family, but, usually it's a Tall Order that nobody will act Mental at some juncture and ruin the experience, even with the best of intentions.   I just went to The Gym and worked out, took a nice Wet Hot Sauna and long Hot Shower, I felt ever so much better.  I also had a KFC Chicken Pot Pie, comfort food was in order.  *LOL*   The Daughter called to apologize, for her part, she'd walked to Amber's Mom's House and hung out there 'til she Calmed Down.

She didn't need a ride since Amber would drop her back off at the House later, when everyone had settled down.   The Daughter told me she suspected her Brother had been drinking, and that's why he was confrontational and unable to control his behavior.   That troubled me since it was early for him to partake, even just a Mike's Hard Lemonade.   She said she had no proof, but, being an Alcoholic herself, she said she suspected he might have and she could be Right.  He's been very depressed lately about Work and about a Girl he's been seeing.  So, it's clear he's Emotionally struggling right now and that kind of Mental Stress, coupled with any Drink, Triggers his Mental Illness to where it's more magnified and unstable if he uses it as an Escape or Crutch.   He had told me recently he's trying to drink less and had switched to the Hard Lemonades in hopes he'd drink less of those.  But an Alcoholic Beverage is still an Alcoholic Beverage.  Self Medicating is common with people with Serious Mental Illness, especially if they're not on Psychotropics.  But, he had dire side effects from Mental Health Meds, so had to quit taking them.

So, anyway, Fun, Fun, Fun... I'm glad I took off and had some Time to myself that was quite enjoyable and brought me back to Center to continue Caregiving in an appropriate way and not reactively.    I had a $10 Off Coupon for SAVERS that I had to use by Today, plus an additional 30% Off my Purchase, so I also stopped by there.   I got some good quality New Old Stock Collectibles of Harry Potter Dolls that are Barbie Sized, three of them which include Harry, the Wizard Dude and another Male Boy Character {I'm not familiar with Harry Potter, I just know it has a Cult Following and Collectible Value}.   And a Lladro Shepherd Girl that I paid Five Bucks for and Online is Valued at $110!    I got some Halloween Steampunk Rubber Art Stamps in a bagged Lot that I'll Keep.   And some Specialty T-Shirts for Resale that were New Old Stock from "Hot Topic" and still had original Tags on them.

While I was at the Gym they had a large Sign in front of the Cafe' saying that thru Summer they were "Back" with Complimentary Cold Brew and Iced Teas.  So, after my Workout, Sauna and Shower I went in to get one of the alleged "Complimentary" Drinks advertised.  Well, there were the Drinks in a Self Serve Station, but, no Cups and no Ice.   So I asked the Clerk where you would get Cups and Ice for the Complimentary Beverages and he said they charge $3.99 for the Cups/Ice!!!   Guess that's quite a Con and Grift on the "Complimentary" part of their Claim, huh, just WTF?!  *LOL*  The Cups were so Small that I could get a Large of a similar better Quality Beverage at a Starbucks or any other Major Coffee Shop of the same thing for just about a Buck more, so, forget about it.  You know that at a high end Bougee Gym they know what Complimentary Drink SHOULD mean... a FREE fucking Drink!  *Eye Roll*   I didn't see any Patrons bringing their own Cups and Ice in to ensure actual Complimentary Liquid.  *LOL*

After I returned Home and saw that The Man had Calmed Down and was more compliant, I did take him out to eat Dinner at "Culver's".   The Kiddos said he'd refused to eat all Day becoz he knew I was upset and had left the House.   I wasn't Mad at any of the Three of them so much as I told them all I was Disappointed that they could not get along and not manage to have a Family Day Out Together to do something enjoyable and keep Mood Regulated and avoid going Mental.   The Man takes Mood Stabilizing Meds, but, I've noticed that tho' it was somewhat Helpful with the TBI, it's not really as Helpful with onset of Dementia, which, I'm sure he's now also suffering from.   He does better if he's just out with me, since, I am a more understanding and Calming Influence for him and he knows he's dependent upon me so he behaves more.  *Winks*  He is Aware that if he didn't have me, chances are he'd need Placement somewhere.  And the better places won't accept him, we've been down that Road before when his TBI was really bad and his level of Care needed was extreme.

We had such a nice pleasant Dinner that he asked if we could go to a GOODWILL and so we did, since, he was behaving and mellow.  Didn't find much but what we did was worthwhile and we had Fun just browsing, that location had a lot of New Old Stock Halloween.   I also did find and Buy a Vintage smaller Blow Mold Jack O'Lantern in a very unusual size I'd not ever seen before, for only Three Bucks!   I got some Halloween Wood/Rubber Stamps and some New Old Stock Tropical Aloha/Tiki Stamps in a Stamp Set.   I also got a Numbered Special Edition Halloween Hat or Face Mask Stand in Lucite, Wood and Resin, by Bronze Armory, it's numbered Nine out of a Limited Edition of 100, really Cool looking. {See pix Below}   When I was trying to do research Online I guess they make Props, I'd never heard of them, but, for only Six Bucks I knew this was a Bargain.  Even tho' I could find nothing like it on their Online sites For Sale, it has a large Round Gold Sticker on the bottom with their Company Name and what it is as far as what Number/Series of a Special Limited Edition produced verifying Authenticity.

Buyer Reviews dealing with this Company Online for Purchases have some Complaints.   But, I was Buying from a Chazza, so, didn't have to worry about an Online Purchase where the Company might not honor Sales of their Products.   I rarely Buy Online and when I have, it's usually been from E-Bay and only Dealing with Sellers who have excellent Feedback and lots of Sales showing that they have been doing Online Auctions there for long enough to establish Trust and a Good Reputation.    Sadly, Online Thieves are problematic, especially International Sellers from certain Countries known to be ripping people off or even stealing their information or identity.   Plus, I like Shopping in Person and the actual Thrill Of The Hunt, so Online Shopping doesn't Appeal to me personally.

I did however order some Tim Holtz Halloween Art and Stamp Supplies off E-Bay that can't be found at any of the Crafting Supply Stores that still carry his Line.  The price point was lower than Retail, I ordered from Two Sellers and one package already arrived {Above}, very quick shipment.   The other Seller has already Shipped their item {Below}, but it's a Holiday Weekend, so that might delay it an extra Day since Monday won't be a Mail Delivery Day.   With it being Labor Day Weekend I'm pretty sure they're having a Sale at our Antique Mall for it, so, should be busy during my Shift Tonight.   Sales have been relatively Soft this Pay Period so we needed a good Sale to bump up and Strengthen Sales, Trade Stimulation and Advertising lately is something that Management is neglecting.   It's supposed to be something they perform for Vendors, we shouldn't have to be riding their Asses to actually do it.

The Son and his Friend Mike B. are doing a big BBQ for us, hopefully they get it all cooked so I can have some before Work?  They bought a lot of nice food to BBQ and Mike B. is a Trained Chef.  Right now he's taken a hiatus from that Career to be his Gramma's Full Time Paid Caregiver so that his Parents didn't have to put her into a Home.  The State will Pay an Adult Grandchild or Adult Child to be a Caregiver for Disabled or Aged Parents or Grandparents, so I think it's discriminatory to require a Spouse to be an Unpaid Caregiver.  I had to abort my Career and lose 60% of my Pension to be an Unpaid Caregiver to my Spouse, so, financially it is a huge hardship with no monetary compensation to make up the income we lost.   He can no longer Work or Care for himself, so, my Value as his Caregiver is just as Valuable as if a Child or Grandchild did it instead.   It's murky if the Spouse is still Living to have other Family do it for the State to allow them to be a Paid as the Caregiver, we looked into that.   The Laws are tricky.

The Man and I went to "Tractor Supply Co." a couple Blocks from Home and saw they have a Troy Built Riding Mower for $1,999 and 3.9% Financing at only $60 a Month, totally doable.   But, they don't deliver and tho' they have a Forklift to put it into my Truck, I'd have no ramp to get it out of my Truck, so we need someone with a Trailer willing to haul it Home if we Buy one.    Rob has one so we'll approach him first, he hauls their ATV's on it all the time and this Mower is a 48" and one of the smaller Riding ones.   I was relieved to find something affordable to Finance on good Terms and a short Payoff time.  I didn't want extensive Debt Load added to the Budget right now.   We'd keep the other larger John Deere and find out how much it will cost to overhaul and repair, then we'd have Two Maintenance Vehicles for the Property.   So, it will be a good Investment.   We'll see about Buying it this Week, I'm sure we'll figure out a way to get it Delivered even tho' the Store doesn't provide that Service, which is Odd IMO, since they Sell a lot of large Farm Equipment, so, one would think they would.

 

Look how Cute these Ice-Cream Cakes were at Baskin Robbins decorated with mini Ice-Cream Cones.  {Above and Below}   We're not big eaters of regular Cakes or Pie, but I do like Ice-Cream and Tarts.   Princess T and The Daughter are Lactose Intolerant tho', so, we don't buy much in the way of Dairy Treats.  My Co-Worker Friend at the Antique Mall, Crazy Ed, used to own some Baskin Robbins Franchises Years ago.   I've enjoyed his Stories about the Business.   He still has all the Commercial Signage and Neon from his Ice-Cream Biz Days, he could Sell them for a lot but can't bear to part with them yet.  He's one of those Consummate Collectors and Purists that really isn't that interested in Cashing Out on his Investments, so, likely his Heirs will just have to one day.   He has so much Offsite Storage to Store it all that it's costing him a small fortune, but, he doesn't seem to Care.   To me, if you've had to Store it Offsite for Years, you're not getting to enjoy it, display it or use it, and so detaching from it should be easier, he probably hasn't seen most of it for a long time.

A lot of his Collections are huge items too, like Antique Furniture and large Commercial Signage.   So, even when bringing it in to Sell, it takes up a lot of Space.   Plus, he's almost 80 now and he's still schlepping around Furniture on his own, probably a risky venture even tho' he's in very good shape for a Senior of his Advanced Age.   It's how Two of my other Male Vendor Co-Workers Friends ended up injured actually, so, the risks get too high IMO to keep doing it.  LATER:  Well, when I went in to Work on Sunday Night I knew something was up coz there was a Pix in a Frame up by the Timeclock of my Friend Dan The Man.   My Friend David confirmed it, Dan had Died on Thursday, not long after our Assistant Manager, my Friend Rachel, had gone to the Hospital to see him.  I knew she'd come back on Wednesday Night looking very shaken and hadn't been prepared for his condition.   So, I knew he was very likely Dying, it was fairly quick after he was Hospitalized, he didn't last very long mercifully.  His major Organs had begun shutting down. 

It was awkward for me to bring up to Management about Wednesday Nights, since, they'd asked me to be a temporary fill-in for Dan until his return.  Apparently they have no permanent Vendor willing to take Wednesday Nights and assume I'll just keep doing it until there is?  *Le Sigh*   I do kinda Wonder if they knew when they asked me that Dan wasn't returning but couldn't or wouldn't bring it up?   I really don't want a 2nd permanent shift, but, I'll do it for now and see if someone else asks for the Shift once they realize nobody has been assigned it permanently.   Mebbe some who'd like to have it feel it's too soon to ask, which would be understandable.  Nobody wants to feel like a Shift Vulture and asking for the Shift when someone who has it just Died.   I don't mind the Shift, or who I work it with, it's just that Physically One Shift is enough for me right now.  I'd rather have the Sunday Night Shift be my only permanent one.

 

RIP my Friend... you are already Missed.

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Often the World is just Beautiful Chaos

Dawn... The Bohemian