The Sameness Of Days ~ The Fantasy Of Retirement ~ And Art

 Well, I couldda Slept In coz it's a Monday, but, I just can't and found myself having the Three in the Mornings.  Dammit!  So, I did gather all my Tax Paperwork and now just have to crunch the numbers for Deductions. Usually it's wasted effort and time, since we end up just taking a Standard, since we don't have that many Deductions to get more by Itemizing anymore.   The Standard is pretty generous.

  I personally think Social Security and Pensions shouldn't be Taxed and anyone over a certain Age shouldn't even have to File anymore.  *LOL*  I know, I'm a Radical like that.  Or just take a Flat Tax out of everyone's Checks up front, so nobody can cheat and nobody has to File anymore, period.  Then the Billionaires would also be paying their Fair Share and how you chose to live Life wouldn't factor in either.  Okay, don't even get me started.  *LOL*

I had trouble cranking out the last Post, I didn't have Bloggers Block per se, just, not much happening really to bore you with.  The Sameness of Days is pretty much our Normal now and I'm liking it actually.  It doesn't make for much Blog Fodder, but, it makes for a very good likelihood of Peace and Serenity on the Homefront.  Which is preferable by far.  I like uneventful Days and an easy flow to Life now, its how I envisioned Retirement should be more like.

You know, the Fantasy of Retirement.  A Lifelong Friend and Bestie of mine just retired last Year, but she's a full time extreme Caregiver of a very Disabled Younger Brother.  After her Parents Died he became her sole responsibility and it's a lot, her whole Life has always had to revolve around him.  And as the Years have worn on his Point of Need gets greater and greater.  He outlived all Doc prognosis for his condition, he may even outlive her actually.

Having been doing Full Time Caregiving myself literally Forever, she and I often discuss the wide range of Emotions it evokes.  Your Life is not your own and it never will be for as long as either you Live or they Live.  And if you were Raised in a Family with a seriously Ill or Disabled Loved One, it was always your Normal, so she and I probably became Best Friends due to those parallels and our Dad's Military Careers bringing us together during an Overseas Assignment to Great Britain in the early 1970's.

I got a chance to talk to her at length during my visit to The Desert Botanical Gardens.  She's been on my Heart and Mind a lot lately and tho' I rarely do Phone Calls, it was Time.  I hadn't talked to her since her Retirement and wanted to know how she was liking being out to Pasture Career Wise?   Juggling demanding Careers while Caregiving is something you Learn to just do, any kind of way you manage to, but Retirement means juggling less, which, is Helpful. 

Easing into Retirement is a Process tho', sometimes a convoluted one if your previous Employers still rely on you or have need to consult you.  So, she's moving thru that phase of it now.  I kept popping in and out of various Retirement phases, and still do to some extent.  Tho' the Corporate Grind is something I finally ditched completely, I just didn't wanna do it anymore for any amount of Money.  She feels that is the route she'll also take.  She's Older than me by a couple Years and deferred Retirement, so it's probably best she ditch the Corporate Grind completely too. 

It was nice to talk to an Old Friend and we laughed at how few of us are even still Alive now.   We Share a lot of History and have known each other since High School.   She lives in Texas and we both have visited each other, I didn't like Texas, but she did like Arizona, I wish she'd just Sold everything and moved here so we'd be closer to one another.  Her Parents Retired in Texas, mine Retired in Arizona, which is how we ended up where we just did and stayed.   She doesn't live in the Inherited Family Home so she could Sell it and Move On.

But, I understand setting up everything for her Disabled Brother in a new State and all that Change for him would be complicated.  So I don't think her decision to stay put is not without merit.   She is getting Services for him that she might not Qualify for here, each State has their own barriers to Services.   She does get a Home Nurse for him and SSI there in Texas, she might not here.  And he needs lots of Services to even stay Alive, so, there's that. 

 He was Born with his Condition, Spina Bifida, which was severe in his case, causing physical and mental issues, and most like him never made it to Adulthood when he was Young, he's 67.  My Friend's Mom Died of Cancer quite Young and her Dad lived a long time.  But got Parkinson's and had to end up in Long Term Care, which is when she inherited her Brother full time and he's lived with her ever since.  So her Family and ours have been thru a lot regarding the Issues of Life, it bonds you.

Sometimes when you hear other people complaining about trifles, and you've survived and endured very complex major Issues of Life, you just cannot relate.  Trifles don't seem like any problem worth complaining about to you.  So it just amuses you that many blow a trifle out of proportion and seem to be unable to Cope with something minor.  It is perhaps a good thing they don't have something major if they fall apart and cannot Cope with a trifle.  *LOL*

Okay, Funny Story, I may have told it before, but I once had a Friend from Church who seemed to be strong and appeared to have her shit together.  One day she came in and was going to pieces, I thought something major had happened and tried to console her.  She was almost beyond being consoled, so I was almost afraid to ask what had happened, hadda be BIG?!  Turns out, her Hairdresser had quit!!!  I shit you not, and it took everything in me not to Laugh and say are you fucking kidding me?!  You can't Handle this?  

But, clearly for her, this was a breaking point in her very obviously privileged Life!   And No, she could not Handle that, so Lord knows what would happen to that Woman if something major did ever happen to her?  We couldn't be Friends anymore.  *LMAOROTF*  Yeah, could NOT relate.  *Winks*   At the time I was going thru some major shit and I'd held it down and kept it together, so, I couldn't even muster pretending she needed actual Help from me.  Just find another fucking Hairdresser Woman, they have them you know!?!   Goddamn, Suck it Up!!!   A Bad Hair Day won't Kill you and nobody else will Die either!  *LOL*

Moving On... I do Hope you're enjoying the Quilt Squares Shared from the Exhibit?  I couldn't believe how many of them I hadn't even seen before, let alone Photograph from before.  There's so many Thousands of them in the Labyrinth Display that you'd have go to thru numerous times to absorb the Art and the Messages of it all.  Sadly, too many rush thru it and don't pay any attention to what it's bringing Attention to. 

 They seemed annoyed at those of us who were taking the time to view the Squares and Messaging, pushing past rudely and clearly irritated.  The Path thru the Labyrinth is about a person and a half wide, so, you have to be civil about passing someone, you're likely going to touch them.  People with Strollers and Scooters are the most obnoxious about how much Space they take up and feel Entitled to.  You'd tell them Politely to just go past you and they'd catch an Attitude.  *LOL and Eye Roll*

About half of us in the Exhibit, especially Younger People and Kids, or Foreign Visitors, were really taking the Time to look at the Exhibit and soak it in.  I don't understand those that just entered and rushed past all the Art, why are you even bothering then?  *Quizzical Question I doubt they can even Answer?*  Clearly they didn't get it and the meaning of it all is completely Lost on them. 

  They'd be the demographic that if you took them to something Cultured, would be on their Phones the whole time or distracted about what they'd be having for Lunch afterwards and asking when are we leaving!?   I had a SIL like that, complete waste of time taking her anywhere interesting, she was so checked out it wasn't worth taking her along, she might as well have just stayed behind.  It ruined it for anyone else if you did include her.  It would be better had she just Opted Out if she wasn't interested at all.

Anyway, there were whole Families like that at the Exhibit, rushing past everyone and annoyed at anyone actually enjoying the Art and the Messaging.   I'd usher them past me with a tolerant Smile, but in my Head just Thinking, Be Well and Be Gone!  This clearly means nothing to you, so why are you even here?  *Bwahahaha*  If subliminally they picked up on my Thoughts, GOOD.  *Winks*  It was Funny to watch folks panic about getting OUT coz I had that reaction the first time when you realize how trapped you are once you enter a Labyrinth of that much Investment of your Time. 

  Like I said, I followed Kids taking the Juvenile Shortcuts of stepping over some lower hanging parts of the Exhibit for a Shortcut Out this time!  *LOL and Winks*   I'd spent my 40 Minutes getting to the Center and Photographing Squares.  I didn't wanna spend another 40 retracing the Steps Out... so I was Out in about 5 Minutes following a bunch of 8-12 Year Olds.  *Bwahahaha*

Other Adults were Smiling at me as I did, probably thinking I was either their Gramma or with that Group of Kids and didn't wanna Lose any of them?!  *LMAOROTF*   Okay, so they did look like they could be mine.  Or I was some Field Trip Chaperone.  And so I went with that for the sake of looking appropriate and not like a deranged Senior not abiding by the Rules of Labyrinth Maze Etiquette.  *Winks*   The Exhibit offered a Shortcut actually, but, it wasn't Short enuf and you had to get to it first... so... No, I needed and wanted to Exit faster, I'd had enuf Fun.  *LOL*  

 People there for the first time thought when you finally got to the Center, after 30-40 Minutes... there would be a Quick way Out, so it was hilarious to see their expression when they realized, Nope...  I know I'd had a similar reaction of Oh Shit... Oh No... you mean it's gonna take as long to get Out as it did to get In?!   Bwahhhhhhhhhhh!!!  They do Warn you with an Entrance Sign saying the Minimum and Maximum Time it should take to get thru it.

So, in all Fairness to the Fast Walkers, perhaps Panic sets in for them early and they Feel the Need to get the Hell outta there and no longer Care about the Artistic Value?  *LMAO*   Oddly, you didn't find any Crying or Fussy Children, not even really Young Ones, they don't Panic coz they LIKE the Activity of a Maze and all that Visual Stimulation.  So they have the time of their little Lives doing it... their Adults... not so much.   I think perhaps some Emergency Exits could have been Useful?  *LOL* 

  Anyway, I'd do it again and probably will a few more times before they take it down June 1st.  It runs from February thru that Date.  If you go during May, I'd highly suggest bringing a lot of Water tho'.  I might do it thru April, but after that it would be too Hot to spend the Time necessary to get in and then out of such a long Exhibit to get thru.  Folks might be Falling Out?  *Ha ha ha*

As you can see the Bee Theme Squares were prolific and some of my favs.   But, so much Artistic Talent on Display that I could do several visits and not be able to Share enuf of what was Created and giving important Environmental and Artistic Expression Messages of.   I don't know what they plan to do with the Squares after they take down the Exhibit, I plan to ask a Docent of the Gardens about it to find out. 

 Would be nice if they took Donations to Sell them to those of us who would Purchase some, both for the Art and for The Cause.  Or perhaps they might Plan to make Actual Quilts of them, I dunno?  The vast majority of the Squares have Art on Both Sides.  And some are impossible to see Individually coz they're on the Center Tree or on the High Archways in and around the Exhibit.   A Shame you can't see them all in a way that Honors the Artist Individually, tho' Visually it all makes an impact.

I Live and Breathe Art so this kind of thing is my Jam to visit and enjoy.  And, after leaving I went to a JoAnn Craft Store, which filed Chapter 11 and are all Closing, now having up to 60% Off.   They had one Tim Holtz Line of Crafting Supplies left that I wanted and a couple of Monthly Issued Decor Soft Cover Magazine Books by Country Living called MODERN RUSTIC, all being 30% Off.  But, they were quite picked over and I don't know going to another Location would Score more or not now?

  I'll miss the Store, it was one of the better Craft Stores and Fabric Stores that carried Lines I like.  But they've struggled to remain solvent since Pandemic and now, just couldn't Survive.  Most Indie Paper Arts Stores in the Valley also Closed and so few Crafting Stores exist now except Hobby Lobby and Michael's locally.  I like both of them too, but Michael's quit carrying Tim Holtz Line coz it had Loss Prevention Issues with Thieving Suburban Housewife Crafters Stealing it so often.

They have opened a few more Hobby Lobby close by tho' and they're nice big Stores and good prices and Sales.  I know a lot of folk boycott HL and Why, I Respect that.   But, know enuf Gays who Work there and have no complaints about them being an Employer.   So, even my own Gay Grandson shops there with me and says a lot of Corporations do a lot of shit we don't Agree with, or have an Opinion, but, we'd have to Boycott damned near all of them to get a Clean Record, which isn't practical, I agree.  

 And... it's not as if we'll ever be Buying something like a Tesla, or MAGA Gear, and we Shop Small mostly supporting Indie Small Businesses primarily, and Buy Ethically Raised Essential Products, so... do our part to our own specifications.  I don't like to be told by other people where I should or shouldn't Shop, you do you, let us do us.  Do whatever you Feel is Right.  I'll Support your Freedom to choose so long as you Respect mine.  Don't presume to dictate to anyone is my Mantra, mind your own Business and I'll mind mine.  *Winks* 

I'm very Blunt and not at all Tactful or PC when someone tries to Preach to me about their Religion, their Politics, or where I should go and what I should do, just becoz they do.   I'm NOT you... and you're NOT me... so, there are differences, Deal with it.   I'm not trying to Win Friends or Influence Enemies, I'm all Friended Up enuf not to Care how you Live your Life so long as it doesn't interfere with me Living MINE.  

 I'm kind of Over those folks who expect everyone to be exactly like them or they have zero tolerance for anyone who isn't.  How Boring and fucking Creepy would Life be if we were all the Same?   No Stepford Wives Club for Yours Truly, I find that to be one of the Creepiest Horror Movies ever made in fact.  *LOL*  It still makes me Shudder.  Give me a Classic Horror Movie Monster over a Stepford Wife or Stepford Husband any day!

So, Princess T made it Home from Rusty's finally, I guess his Sisters were visiting for the Weekend as well.   The Household is only made up of Men, Rusty, his Dad, and some other Adult Male Roommates.  So, the Home doesn't have a Female's Touch until Female Guests or Family arrive and she's always more than a little bit disgusted at how a House full of Men will Live.  *Bwahahahaha*  She said they'd run out of Toilet Paper and said to use Napkins and she countered with, Hell No, that's so Ghetto!!!  I'm NOT doing it, go out and Buy Toilet Paper! 

 And Shamed them into doing it.  *LOL*   She said the Sisters were willing to use Napkins gleaned from a Restaurant, most likely, she was NOT and Rusty knew it.   And by now all the Guys know how she is, so, they just Obeyed.   She is very High Maintenance and her Boyfriend, if he wants to remain her Boyfriend, has come to Terms with that.   This is not the type of Girl you'd take Camping... she would only do Glamping! *LMAOROTF*

So, she sashayed Home and Eli The Cat was Happy again, he'd had major Separation Anxiety with her being gone all Weekend, so had been very Unhappy and pouting.   My Company was not appreciated and he'd look at me with disgust, like I was just The Help, be very angrily Vocal and go pout and hide in his Closet and glare at me until I'd just leave.  *LOL*  But as soon as she was back, he was overjoyed and it was so Touching.  That is his Hooman. 

  Now they're Happily watching "Sponge Bob Square Pants" Cartoon together on her Bed.  *Winks*  She said she bought and ordered him a new Cat Tree from Amazon that was 50% Off on Sale, he'd pretty much trashed his Old one but Loves it, this one will be bigger and fancier.  It's usually a $90 one and she got it for $45.  He's so much bigger than your Average Cat that they fall apart under his weight over time.  He's worn out Half a Dozen already.

I've been looking Online at used Canon Cameras, so far I keep getting Outbid on the ones like the one Stolen and is like the Old One I still have.  As you can see, the Old One mercifully began Working again and is taking decent enuf Pixs or I'd be Melting Down right now about the other one getting Stolen.  I was distraught enuf as it was... and insufferable after the Loss of my Cherished Gift from a Friend in the Blog Community.   But that would have sent me right over the fucking Edge had the Old Camera not began working again.  *Whew and LOL* 

   But, I did just Score on a Buy It Now Feature on E-Bay a Canon Power Shot 500, which is an upgrade, with a Charger, Two Batteries and a Memory Card, for $95, since, all the Kiddos chipped in to Buy me one if I could find one Online Cheaper than Retail, which, are very expensive and $300 plus now.  The one I Scored is  $598 New, so, Color me Happy now.  *Winks and Whew, Problem Solved*  I still Need to send Debra a Thank You, the Kiddos misplaced the Box with her Address so are trying to find it for me, when they tidy up I can't Find anything.  *LOL*  

They don't know how I Find anything in my Organized Chaos, but I can.  *LOL*  When they do their Housekeeping and Professional Grade Organizing, it looks great, and very Editorial, but throws me off and I can't then Find a damned thing.  *Ha ha ha*   I just went out and purveyed what Rob had brought over as his Peace Offering and it all was really high end stuff!   Two Black Cabinets with lovely high quality Granite Tops.  An Industrial Metal Bookshelf.  An Industrial Sign that is Blue and White Porcelain Horizontal Metal and says PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE LEAVING THIS ROOM.  

 And some Antique Smalls that are very nice too.  I'd say the Value of what he brought over exceeds what the cost of Storage and Diagnostics would have been, and the Company Waived those for me anyway.  And, it's not like I didn't Need a new Tractor Mower since the Old one was worn out and not worth Repairing and had no Trade-In Value at all either.  So, I didn't have to dispose of it and couldn't have Sold it or Donated it in the Condition it was in. 

The New Tractor will be Delivered this Week and we won't need to use it for about another Week, the Grass is only just ending it's Winter dormancy Phase and Irrigation just resumed this Month too.  I have my Kids and Mando doing all the Irrigation and Yardwork now anyway, Rob and TJ are not Hired anymore and they seem Okay with that.  The Arrangement worked out good until it didn't. 

 I do appreciate the Five Years we Hired them to do it all and teach our Family how to do it all.  Since they Maintain their Elderly Parent's Property it was a lot to Maintain Two Mini Farm Acreages.  And with TJ now having Stage 4 Cancer I don't see him doing a lot anymore, so it all was falling on Rob.  Mando has Stage 4 Cancer also but says keeping busy helps distract him from his Pain and Illness so he's always busy doing things for Friends and Family.  

I think for him, it keeps him going and keeps his Mind on what is Healthier for him to Think upon.   The Daughter says the same about Work distracting her from her Mental Illness complications, so they often Volunteer to Help Elderly Friends and Relatives together.  Mando is only in his 40's tho', TJ is in his 60's, and that makes a big difference in powering thru major Illness and your Treatments.  Mando said he was always very Depressed 'til he started hanging out here but we keep him Uplifted, Laughing, and feeling like Family.  

  So he enjoys doing anything that would be a Blessing to us coz we've been a Blessing to him during his Illness.   We met him thru TJ's Parents, who have been Friends of his Family a very long time.  We actually know some of his extended Family from the Old Historic Neighborhood in the Barrio.  His Uncle Joe and Aunt Mary used to live next door to us in South Avondale.  His Uncle Joe Died and now Mando lives in that Property they Owned in the 1980's, which was a Single Wide Mobile Home on Owned Land.

We had Sold the Property we Owned next door to it in 2000 when we were Buying the Historic Home a few Blocks North of that, but in the same City and in Old Town.   Many of our Lifelong Friends therefore are from both of those Neighborhoods we lived in since the early 1980's.  And this Property is only a few Miles Northeast of that, so we're still close by many of our Lifelong Friends and Beloved Community again.  It was good to Come Home again. 

 And of coarse this Property is a better fit for  us now at this Season of our Lives and for Multigenerational Living too.  So, everything is as it should be.   It is hard for me to Let Go of Beloved Properties I used to Own, but I know each Purchase of new Property was beneficial to us at each Time and Season.   We tried Selling our 40 Acres up North of the State, but, Buyers were always Lowball Offering so we pulled the Listing.  It's been Paid Off for Decades, we once thought of Building a Cabin up there to spend Summers at.

Now The Man isn't Well enuf to risk doing that.  It's in a small Rural Community with just a Clinic and he's just too compromised in his Health now to spend Time living up there even part time.   But, the Kiddos can and will Inherit it if we don't find a Buyer willing to pay Ask, so, it's all Good.  Land always increases in Value, it's not like they're making more of it.  *Winks*   It's Why we simply must take care of Mother Earth becoz there is no Plan B.  

In spite of fElon's Plan to go Colonize Mars, it's not happening in our Lifetimes, or probably ever.  And frankly I'd just as soon send him up there now in one of his exploding Rockets and be rid of him here on this Earth.  And he can take this whole Administration with him and all the MAGA Devotees... go... Colonize another Planet coz you're fucking Wrecking this one!   Good riddance, Be Well and Be Gone I say!   Take your New World Order Ideology and go impose it on Martians or other Extraterrestrials.  *Smiles*

If indeed there's other more Advanced Life Forms in the Universe, who have Evolved Superior to us, they'd see that Crew and know that's what's Wrong and Defective within our Species.   Pretty Sure.  *LOL*  Coz that whole Posse is Devolving not Evolving.  Anyway, they're already floating the idea of allowing him to have a 3rd Term, which ought to be just deep sixed becoz I didn't even want that Fucker to be allowed to have a 2nd Term after committing Treason, Espionage, inciting an Insurrection and the host of other serious Crimes and illegal activities he's been convicted of, including numerous incidents of Fraud.   Just him being an adjudicated Sex Offender should be enough to make him unfit to represent any American Female, since he's a Sexual Predator!  Anyway, he can't hurry up and just Die fast enough.

There was a huge Earthquake in Thailand and Myanmar {FNA: Burma} which has claimed Thousands of Lives already, the Death count will go higher, it brought down Skyscrapers and was 7.7 on the Richter Scale. This is Day 4 of them trying to find Survivors.  Of coarse our Aide Agencies have been so gutted by DOGE we're practically the only Nation not appropriately being able to respond as we should have been able to and would have.  This is the impact these Cuts will continue to make, including but not limited to response to Crisis and Natural Disasters at Home in the U.S. too!   To Imagine it's inconsequential is beyond Naive.

 I haven't been watching The News Daily so I haven't found out about things in Real Time and keep pace with what's going on.  I just can't handle all the Negativity, Bad Politics, Wars, Chaos and Tragedies unfolding in rapid succession.  I have to limit my exposure so it doesn't bottom me out Emotionally, it's so draining and heavy to process all of it every single Day, so I just can't and don't now.   I Care, but for most of it, I can't do a damned thing about it, so I can't see Stressing Out over it.  And I've been able to keep Emotionally Balanced and Centered by doing that.

Hard to wrap my Head around March already being over by Tomorrow and already rolling into April!   Time seems to be warping by lately and I'm not keeping pace.   I stocked up again on Non-Perishable Essentials to guard against inflation once Tariffs increase the costs exponentially, which, they definitely will.   The Economic stupidity of the Orange Chronic Financial Failure knows no bounds.  He's treating the running of the Economy and the Nation like it's another one of his second rate cheesy Reality Shows, like a Bad Episode of The Apprentice!   And his Base, along with Federal Workers, and in fact, the rest of us, are like Contestants on it that will ultimately lose, be cut, Fired, collateral damage... as if it's somehow Entertaining.  It may be profitable to him and his fellow Grifters, but for the rest, problematic in a big way financially.

If DOGE is allegedly finding all this Fraud, how come nobody has been Arrested for it?  Why?  Coz it's fabricated Fraud that never existed and they've therefore never proven or given evidence of in any way either.  All a sham.   And the Ketamine King is now Buying Votes in Wisconsin, by handing out Million Dollar Checks like a Lottery Win for those who Vote favorably to what he demands.  Now, THAT IS Illegal and a Bribe.  So, it's interesting he's in charge of anything allegedly combating Illegal Activities, and Questionable Government Practices, when he's one of the current Chief culprits.  I find it quite interesting too that MAGA is so Quiet about all of the current Scandals that can be proven against their side... Crickets... tho' their Town Halls in deep Red Districts seem quite full and their Elected Officials not having the Courage or Interest in their Constituents to show up and Face anyone or Hear them.

I hear Farmers, after Tariffs are implemented, will need HUGE Bailouts by the Government.  How is that Saving the American Taxpayers Money?  Oh wait, it isn't, it will cost us Trillions and it's just appeasing a swath of Rural America that Voted in this Cluster Fuck and now are facing Financial Ruin by it's Policies.  That won't make Headline News tho', shush, don't tell anyone it's happening and mebbe they won't even notice?   And if they keep getting Bailed Out by their own and their Elected Officials chronic Bad Decisions, why would they ever have a change of Mind or Heart next time?  Answer, they won't. 

  They'll pretend and convince themselves that it wasn't problematic enough, since, well, Bailout from your Fuckups is an Easy Out after all.  And it pisses me off coz these are MY Tax Dollars being wasted and squandered by other folk's Bad Votes and a Bad Administration they Voted In.   But, sadly, those with Low Information and Low Intelligence Vote too... and it Costs us all for their Ignorance or Stupidity... and so, here we now are...

********

Thankfully the Beauty of Art sustains me... Dawn... The Bohemian