What Keeps Me Up At Night

 

I'm Publishing this Post early, coz I don't wanna do a damned thing on Sunday, prepping for my early Monday Morning Surgery.  I'll start this Post on a Fluff Note and it'll get Dark from there, Fair Warning and Disclaimer.  Okay, so Princess T came Home Valentine's Day Night after her Date with her Boyfriend Rusty, bearing his Gifts.   Now, this Guy doesn't just go out and buy a Bouquet, No, he MAKES her a Bouquet of Satin Roses!  This one was so damned enormous it barely fit thru Doorways or our Hallway, it scraped the sides!  *Bwahahahaha*   And, of coarse it also had a Tiara, becoz she IS "The" Princess of all Princesses.  *Winks*  So, that's not just my Online Nickname for her, obviously, he Loves his Princess!   Ahhhh, this Boy got it Bad, doesn't he?   She also had a bunch of Heart Shaped Mylar Balloons that are scaring the bejesus out of her Cat Eli coz they Move when the Heat comes on!  So, he's been protesting loudly and looking at them in Terror!  *Le Sigh and LOL*

He took her out to eat at her favorite Vietnamese Restaurant, The Fucking Eggroll {that's how it's pronounced, no shit}, officially it is Pho' King Eggroll, and since it was founded by a new Immigrant Family, I don't know if it was intentional or not?  Our Cambodian DIL had taught us how to pronounce Pho' correctly, we'd been pronouncing it Wrong for Years and then said, OMG, it's The FU-KING Eggroll, not FOOOH-KING, that's fucking hilarious!   Anyway, so, Princess T has been going there since she was a Baby and they Love her.  So all the Families who've ever Owned the place have known her all her Life.  She said she doesn't think they like Rusty, coz they always mess up his order and never hers.  I have a Theory, that I didn't dare voice out loud.  

The Owners have some Handsome Sons and Grandsons, who are clearly smitten with our Granddaughter and Light Up anytime we come in with her.  She gets the Royal Treatment.   So... need I say more?  *Winks and Bwahahahaha*  They all Love me and even if I come in Alone, treat me like I'm their Gramma or Auntie.   So, I wouldn't be at all Surprised of them being critical of any Guy she might roll in with as an obvious Boyfriend, whether Protectively of her or out of Jealousy coz they've been trying to earn Favor for a long time.  It's Adorable and I'm actually Surprised she hasn't noticed their infatuation with her.  Coz, they are very Handsome Young Men, well Raised and hard working for the Successful Business their Family Owns.   So far tho', Princess T likes the Latino Boys best, tho' she has brought Home a drop dead Gorgeous Polynesian, who got a Football Scholarship so now lives in Minnesota going to College and might go Pro.  Can't recall if his people were from American Samoa or Fiji originally?

She's had some White Boys and Black Boys pursue her too, but, she's told me that even if she did feel an attraction, she wouldn't wanna Deal with the Parental Backlash of their Parents feeling some kind of way about her Ethnicity.  So, it's not worth the Drama and a Headache, or being openly Offended by overt crass Racism.  Sometimes even the Latino Families feel some kind of way about her being Weta, Mixed Race, and not sure if she's "Latina Enough" or NOT a White Girl?!   Some mistake her being an Asian Girl, and, well, she does have some of that Ancestry too.  *LOL*   I Get It, I had the same problem and part of Why The Man's Family never fully embraced me and it could be tense, plus I wasn't LDS and never would be.  But they had to be Polite and PC about it, coz we Eloped and they already had me as a DIL, so, didn't matter if they felt some kind of way about it.  *Bwahahhaa*  I do remember the very first thing my MIL said tho', was, "What Nationality ARE these People?"  *LMAOROTF, that's a Loaded Question, how long ya got?*

And Listen, a LOT of Cultures do that shit.  My Mom got the same Icy Treatment from my Dad's Family, they were NOT Pleased he not only didn't Marry a Tribal Gal, but that he Married a Gal from a whole other Country who wasn't even an American!!!    Her Family fully embraced Dad, becoz tho' The Welsh by and large are a Homogenous Society, my Maternal Grandparents were different and had their Back Stories that were unconventional and endured discrimination, even by Welsh Standards.  My Nanna's People were probably of Irish Gypsy Ancestry and Travelers, so Gran-Grans Bio Mom HATED that her DIL was of an Irish Clan.  A different Gypsy Hierarchy, so, she never accepted my Nanna nor treated her Kindly, even tho' my Great-Nina {Welsh for Gramma, with a long "I" sound} didn't even Raise her Younger Son, Culturally he still had to Respect his Mother.   My Gran-Gran was Didi Kai Ancestry of Welsh Gypsy and was Raised by a Chinese Family with Four of his Younger Siblings, when his Mom became Widowed during WWI and just able to Raise and Support her Six Oldest Kids.   So, the Cultural Influences of my Mom's immediate Family was more diverse and Odd, thus, more Tolerant than most.  They were considered a Blended Family Culturally too.

Before I met and Married The Man, I too was like Princess T, I avoided getting involved with a Guy whose Family was gonna be problematic, since I don't like Drama and a Headache.   And, I'm too outspoken to not Deal with someone who is.  *Winks*   Princess T is more demure and would not say anything, but she'd be fuming on the inside and it would become a Situation between her and the Guy.   So, she's glad that Rusty's Family are more accepting of her than even most other Latino Boy's Families have been when they take a gander at OUR extended Family and are like, WTF?!  *Bwahahahahaha*  I remember when The Young Prince and Allen were getting Married and Invited his Fundie West Texas Family {Yes, THAT West Texas},  to the Wedding, we weren't sure how that would play out?  But, it actually went well, considering... well... the obvious.  *LOL*  We actually liked them and I think they were Surprised at how we received them, and their Son, so unconditionally.

I'm actually Sad that the Boys Marriage has fallen apart, but, not Surprised given how the Nation is falling apart and the LGBTQ+ Community and People of any Flavor/Color are at even greater risk and potentially even in Danger.  I just think Allen realizes how much easier he could have it if he is with a Woman, since, he is Bi and not opposed to Switch Hitting, plus he wants Children and our Grandson does NOT.  He's a Schizophrenic and not even fond of Children, so he said it would be unfair to any Child to have a Parent like him, I agree.  He would never qualify to be an Adoptive Parent nor would he ever want to Father any Child, even a Test Tube Baby, he said.  *LOL*  Allen on the other hand would probably be a Fine Father, he is good with Kids and his little Niece adores her Uncle and he dotes on her.   So, I Wish him Well and only the very best if and when they go thru with their Divorce... and so does The Young Prince actually, he still Loves Allen, but it ain't Working out.

Becoz The Young Prince has Schizophrenia, it's difficult for him to Maintain Relationships and be in a Relationship with anyway, he acknowledges that Truth.   He also knows his Husband has Moderate Autism, and they're both Biracial too, tho' neither looks half Latino, so, along with the whole Gay Factor, theirs is a tough row to hoe anyway in Society, any way ya cut it.  The Young Prince said that's just a lot of Barriers to overcome Personally and Societally, so, it takes a super Strong Union to weather those Storms.  We knew it would be a LOT for Allen and we discussed it at great length before they Married.  He knew he'd be his Husband's Full Time Unpaid Caregiver and that's a Tall Order for someone in their 20's.   He also had to be so Careful when they'd go Home to visit his People in Texas, coz with a Fabulously Transgender Spouse in West Texas, Allen knew the Dangers our Grandson could be in.  After all, Allen caught Charges in fucking Washington State, way more Tolerant Demographic, defending our Grandson from a Police Beat Down Years before! 

The Judge didn't Care that our Grandson was having a Serious Mental Health Episode he has no Control over.  Or that they were Homeless, so he had to have the Episode "In Public" rather than in Private.  That he was Trans, and when the Police showed up, they used excessive force and were clearly biased, coz they initially thought he was a Woman having a Domestic Situation with a Man.  And when they realized it was a Gay Couple and a Trans Man, well, shit got violent much like it does when Police respond to Calls involving some People of Color and it all went Sideways from there.   Allen has significant Military Special Forces Training, like The Man does, so he can defend himself well.  The Young Prince, when Psychotic especially, is extremely Paranoid and VERY unnaturally Strong.  So, the Police Beat Down didn't go quite like how those Officers thought it might with Two Gay Men.  *LOL* 

 Thankfully it didn't end like George Floyd, but it could have and that always Scares me a lot.  Even The Son once had a blown Tire and the White Cop that wouldn't accept that as a valid reason for why the Vehicle swerving before The Son could safely pull over, did a Beat Down so Bad, WHILE HANDCUFFED, that The Son required an ER Visit and had several Broken Ribs.  The reason I was told to my Face for the excessive use of Force... the Officer thought he was a Drunk Indian, since it was near the Rez!   And Resisted being beaten while he couldn't even defend himself and was already subdued, Cuffed, and now just trying to stay Alive!!!  All caught on Dash Cam coz the Officer had turned off his Body Cam!  I kid you not, The Son wasn't Drunk, but, he does look like my Dad's side of the Family and that's how Indians are treated by the Cops around here.  I came in wearing my DA's Office Shirt, since I'd just got off Work when The Son called me, so the Cops shit Kittens and Yes, I did file a formal Complaint.  I don't know if anyone got Fired, but they should have, they certainly didn't catch Assault Charges and they should have too for Police Brutality, they could have Killed him.

  Anyway, I digress, our Grandsons spent some time in Jail before all Charges were finally Dismissed.  But, it showed how The System isn't a level Playing Field either for Equal Protection Under The Law.  And it's only getting Worse now and more Dangerous for some Demographics under this fucking Regime.  And Why they left Washington and moved back here to Arizona after they got released... it had sufficiently Scared them.  And Texas Scares the shit out of The Young Prince, he said there is no benefit of any Doubt that's not a Safe Space to be if you're him!  Even exploring International Travel, folks like him have to do their due diligence on where to avoid lest they be Killed for just Being and it not be illegal or considered Murder!   And let us just Hope and Pray America doesn't devolve into such Horrors as all that, but, with whose in charge right now, with no concept of Humanity, Compassion, Decency or Mercy, anything and everything is possible and scarily so.  No Moral Compass means... no Morals.

And it's concerns like these which do sometimes keep me up at Night. Becoz the direction our Nation is moving at warp speed, the Legal System being gutted, well, anything is possible now with no Guard Rails or Barriers in place to stop any of it.  I had a Friend tell me I do need to watch a little more News, even if I turn it off if The Orange One spews his vomit worthy vile rhetoric, to Keep Up.   Turns out she's Right, so I have, and monitor how much of it I absorb and try to Process, since, I wanna be Informed enuf, yet not overwhelmed or lose all Hope.  Vance and the Ineptitude Posse being sent out Abroad, well, that's already quite the Offensive, Kremlin Luvin', and Brainless Cluster Fuck Internationally, isn't it?  It's beyond an Embarrassment now... there couldn't be enuf Apologies offered to our Allies and Friends or sufficient Damage Control Run now!   Just... Jesus, Joseph, Mary and all The Saints, we can't be Trusted now as a Nation of any Integrity, High Ground, Goodness, Greatness, Morals or Conscience left!!!  Fuuuuck!

Our once Admirable Global Standing is now seriously fucking compromised, worsening and weakening with each day this Regime is left in Power.   Cozying up to our Enemies and making Frenemies of the likes of Putin, Un and other Lunatic Leaders is not a favorable strategy that is good for America or Americans.  We'll NEED God to Bless and cover us at this juncture, coz it's Wheels Off already and we're Dealing with a Host of Devils, even in our midst now.  And I don't have the Solutions and I seriously Hope some Bravery and Backbone shows up in our Leaders that aren't yet on the Crazy Train, Bending the Knee and Kissing the Ring?   Or that some see it's gone Off Rails and will jump off and not be a part of the Train Wreck that will surely have many casualties.   If they think it might be Saving their coveted Careers in Politics, I think they need to Think again, long and hard.  Coz once all the American People realize they're Fucked... the Hostility, Retribution and Revenge exacted will be coming from another Source that now know they've been offered up to be Sacrificed.

Listen, I don't know what the Atonement for THAT will be, but it can't possibly be Good!!!   Reparation for those Wrongs and Injuries is gonna be Epic and Costly for those Responsible or Complicit, that's for fucking sure.   This Valentine's Day I couldn't help but think of the 1929 Valentine's Day Massacre in Chicago, and I don't exactly know Why it just came to Mind and I couldn't shake it?   But, it stayed in Mind all that day.   The Murder of 7 Members and Associates of Chicago's Northside Gang just had the No. 7 in it... and we'd just had News {I didn't realize that yet tho'}, that 7 Members of the NYC Prosecutors Team had to fall on their Swords and do a Principled Resignation from the Adams Case... just had the Numerology Ring to it that was eerie.  I'm Superstitious, and come from a long Lineage of Superstitious Ancestors, so, all that is Meaningful to me, if you're not, I understand it won't be to you.  But, I am not of the Opinion any of this shit is coincidental and there's subliminal Warnings we should be heeding, even if we're not Seeing everything outright or clearly yet.

So, I did take The Man out for his Birthday Luncheon early, Saturday, and he was a Good Sport and said he would like to try something different that we'd never had before.  Which, is risky with him being he's a fussy eater and not very adventurous.  But, he insisted, Yes, he wanted to try something we'd never had before.  So, there's a Salvadoran Restaurant nearby Home and I've not had that Country's Cuisine much and he's never had it, so we decided to give it a go.  Their Chicken Tamals are different than Mexican Tamales, they boil them in Banana Leaves and the Masa is heavily Brothed, so very moist and more filling ratio to Masa.  These were the Chicken Tamal which also had Potato, Onion, Recuado and an Olive filling.  We had the Mixed Meat and Cheese Pupusas {filled with Pork, Mozzarella, Beans Centers}, theirs were excellent and so filling you can only eat One.

The Fried Plantain with their Crema Dip were Excellent.   The Beef Pastalitos I'd never had before and they were Superb and reminded me of the Meat Pasties from my Mom's Country only the Shells of these are Spiced and Crispier, really liked them.  Their filling was Ground Spiced Beef, Carrot, Potato with other Spices like Cardamom I think... very much like an Empanada but Smaller.  Not fond of the Cole Slaw, but, I'm not much of a Cole Slaw Fan.  And, Thankfully our Waitress insisted on giving me a Sample first of the El Salvadoran Horchata before I got a full Order coz it's nothing like Mexican Horchata.  It's made from Seeds like Cocoa {which I really can't tolerate}, Morro Seed, Sesame, Peanut and Pumpkin Seed and it is way more watery, I did not like it, even before I realized it had Chocolate Seed, which I have an adverse reaction to.  Plus no idea what a Morro Seed even was.  It is said to have a Licorice like flavor, but it was just a flavor profile for a Drink I didn't Care for at all.

The Appetizer we got the Elote {Corn} Tamal with Crema Dip, very much like a Mexican Sweet Corn Tamale, not bad, but, it wasn't a favorite of what I've had before in the way of Corn Tamales.  Eating with a Crema was 'new' and actually complimented the Sweet Corn well.  Overall I'd give the Restaurant a Thumbs Up and for me, I'd go again, The Man, No.  The Son also not a Fan, it was his 2nd time eating Salvadoran Food and he just doesn't like it.   Princess T, our fussiest Eater, won't even try any of it, but The Daughter will be Game, she's like Mikey on those Old LIFE Cereal Commercials, she'll Eat anything... and say Mikey Likes It!  *Smiles*  With drinks too, all this Food came to only $35, which was very reasonable for such Variety and such filling food, we had a lot to take Home and Share, coz it's all quite Hearty fare.  One Waitress was Bilingual, but I can follow South American Spanish well even if she hadn't converted to English for our benefit, I understood her Spanish dialect.  Ending the Post on an Upbeat Topic of Food Porn just seemed the Right thing to do for such a Heavy Post. 

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Very Guarded here in the Arizona Desert and on High Alert actually... Dawn... The Bohemian