The Title Hook is perhaps a gross exaggeration and dramatically hyperbolic. *Winks* TJ got the Yardwork and Irrigation done and the John Deere operational, but, now the damned thing needs Two New Tires to the tune of $120. *Le Sigh* That's probably way cheaper than the Maintenance of the Engine would have been tho' and he won't let me pay him for Labor, just replacement parts, so, I can't really complain at all. It's just that financially, another hit is hard right now. But, I get Paid Tomorrow again at Work and it should cover the additional Cost and after New Tires it shouldn't need much else now for a while. But, that outlay depletes the Savings I had towards getting the Septic pumped, so, that will take longer to fund now... Le Sigh.
And, to complicate matters further, The Young Prince had called and I may have to help him out, not entirely sure yet, he just wanted me to know what'ssup and was quite distraught about it. For his Privacy I will withhold the details, he wants to try to work it out himself first and if that's not possible, get some help from Family here. He knows I want to receive a Call if something is Wrong. Sometimes you can be Helpful, even from a distance.
He doesn't really have anyone but Allen there in New Mexico and things have been complicated and tough. His illness is tough on a good day, on bad days it's quite overwhelming and they're a Young Couple dealing with not being anywhere near Family now, his or ours, for present help. I don't think Allen is handling it well either and the new Job, tho' preferable and closer to Home, pays much less too.
I think most Youngsters are under intense pressure and for Couples especially, if one cannot Work, one income isn't cutting it anymore to cover even basic necessities. Tho' The Young Prince can cohabitate collectively, Allen really cannot, so, having Roommates to spread out expenses, just doesn't work for him. The Friend I let live with us for Six Months was like that, she really needed to live Alone, nothing wrong with that if it works best for you to. The Daughter is doing better at living with others now, so, it can always improve and change.
The Young Prince has always lived Communally and prefers it, for a host of reasons, he feels more Secure. In many ways, even with the Paranoid Schizophrenia and other Diagnosis he has, it was his Normal. Allen is a more Solitary Soul and the Moderate Autism he has makes Sharing Space harder for him to get along and play well with others, even tho' he's a good Guy with a Big Heart. Allen was responsible for them being asked to leave our Home. It just wasn't working out with him, he needed his own Home. Some People just do.
I didn't hold it against him, our Son has Autism and is Bipolar too, so it's not as if we haven't dealt with that condition over the past Three Plus Decades with a Family Member. The Son, off and on, has been asked to leave our Home too, when it's no longer tenable for the rest of us. I do consider Allen Family, he's Married to our Grandson. But, when he and The Man got confrontational, I just could not have that risk, since, The Man has TBI and early Dementia. And, at The Man's advanced Age and Fragile deteriorating condition, provoking him is just not Wise, even if your intentions aren't to have things go Off the Rails during an argument, it probably will.
Allen had been confrontational with me too, but, I didn't take a swing at him... The Man did. So, that was that and the Grandsons therefore had to be asked to leave lest it escalate to a Situation I couldn't mediate and someone might get hurt. The Son had to break it up and Calm/Restrain his Dad, so, the Boys knew it was Time to get their own place again. Allen had a habit of provoking and not knowing when to hold his Peace with people verbally, he misses all the Social Cues and has no Filter, not unusual with Autistics. That makes relationships harder for them, Facial expressions and Body Language get misinterpreted or missed altogether, they just blurt things out. A Smile to an Autistic can seem like a threatening or unnerving gesture, all those Teeth showing!!! *LOL*
And don't even get me started on how someone with Traumatic Brain Injury and/or Dementia can easily become quite unmanageable, easily agitated or have no restraint in them anymore. That's all Water under the Bridge now, forgiven, but, Allen knew he'd crossed a line to where he couldn't ask to come back here to live again and would have to rely more on his own Family during Crisis. His Family live in Texas, so, a Days' Drive from where they live in New Mexico. I don't know that his Family can handle their Son's Disabling Conditions any better than we can tho', so, he's been Independently Living, mostly Crisis to Crisis, ever since he reached Adulthood.
He's a hard worker and Loves his Husband, and living on his own terms. He has many redeeming qualities and Positive attributes. But, our Grandson's Disability is profound too, he requires a full time Caregiver, so, it's just a lot for both of them. When you're only in your Twenties, Hard Knocks Life takes a heavy toll to navigate successfully. Advice from Elders can be valuable even if we can't always Solve a Problem being experienced. Our Kiddos Value my Sage Advice about stuff, especially the Issues of Life... loads of Experience there. *LOL and Winks*
Our Grandson knows the situation with his Mom and Sisters in Mexico has pretty much Tapped us Out for involvement in another Crisis. So Timing for his own Crisis is just bad and Untimely right now. Crisis seem to group up lately and don't space themselves apart. He doesn't even know about the Death of his Great Aunt Carol yet and I can't dump that on him right now either, he's too Fragile at the moment to receive Bad News. That was his Favorite Aunt, she was always so good with Kiddos and a generous Spirit who never forgot Special Occasions for extended Family.
Aunt Carol's regular little Gifts on Birthdays and Christmas always meant a lot to The G-Kid Force and to our Children as well. I think she Crocheted a Beautiful Afghan for every Child, Grandchild and Great-Grandchild in her Husband's large extended Family! I remember when the Bumble Bee colored one my Kiddos had from her finally wore out, they were loathe to part with it. That poor thing had unraveled in areas and had big holes in it by the time I convinced them it had to go. *Smiles* I never saw anyone Knit or Crochet as fast as my SIL, being on a Homestead in Alaska most of her Life had made her able to make damned near anything she needed.
And she always made a Special Mac N Cheese for the Kiddos that she Nicknamed "Yellow Death". *LOL* Aunt Carol's Homemade Yellow Death became a Legendary Thing too, so, a very fond Memory of her. Okay, so Aunt Carol's preference for Junk and Comfort Foods counteracted my Old Hippie Sensibilities for Healthy Fare, so, I'm pretty sure her Meals were Favored by all. I mean, my BIL was bringing her Home some McDonald's when she Passed, need I say more? *Bwahaha*
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Anyway, in due Time I'll tell him, when Emotionally he can receive the information. He knows to Call me when Mentally he's unraveling and such was the case the other day, so I talked him down like a Crisis Hotline and Hope that was Helpful enough? The Dissociative Identity Disorder means you Deal with any One of Seven Alters he has. His Mom has Four, which can be complicated enuf with multiple Personalities that behave entirely different and don't always know what each other do or say at any given time one of the others is Dominant. You do Learn how to Deal with each as a completely different Person.
I'm not really sure which one of them made that hysterical Call to me, and, he might not recall either when that one isn't dominant anymore? I'd be better equipped to gauge which one was Presenting in Person, but, via Social Media or a Phone Call, not as accurately. Hopefully a Stronger one comes to the forefront and dominates to handle their Crisis more effectively, rationally and Calmly, we'll wait and see? With Allen working so much, it means too much time spent Alone without a Caregiver and that's not Ideal at all. And I do worry when nobody is there to Influence in a Supportive way and the Mental Health is overwhelming them.
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Tyson The Pit Bull is his Emotional Support Animal, but Tyson is an Old Dog now and so our Grandson is fearful and fixated that should Tyson Die, he'll have no present help for most of the day... that really terrifies him. Losing Tyson, or Allen, or any of us, terrifies him, our Mortality and the Dog's Mortality always are a torment to The Young Prince. He fixates on it more than anyone else. And of coarse Immortality isn't an option. *Winks* I wouldn't even want it to be, but, the rest of them would prefer me to be the last one standing... or they feel the rest of them could be totally Screwed. That does concern me too, they could be Right?
Anyway, The Young Prince and Allen often Fixated on The Man's Mortality particularly... and Allen has no Filter, with the Autism, so, he'd bluntly give The Man and I an Expiration Date Projection, out loud, to our Faces. *LOL* Which wasn't meant in a Bad Way, so, I received it with Gallow's Humor. Of coarse that horrified his Husband, since, The Young Prince already didn't wanna actually do the Math about his Grandparents. Denial about our advanced Ages and frailties was just easier I guess? *Smiles* It's a running Joke that they wouldn't be able to tell if I got Dementia or not anyway, coz I've ALWAYS had all the telltale Symptoms, so it's my Baseline Normal. *Bwahahaha*
So reminding him of Statistical Evidence, well, it just often heightened his Anxiety about our Mortality and imminent demise. It could lead to a total Panic Attack and then I'd have to make the unrealistic Promise that I intend to live a very long time, long past what I'd actually prefer to be Taken, hopefully in my Sleep. *Smiles* So, each passing Year, his Genius yet Addled Brain Counts Down towards the Projected Expiration Dates... and then he gets quite Panic Stricken, and, wants NOT to be so far away from us. And I get it, spending Time with Family is a lot more important to my Clan than it is with a lot of other Families. Allen is content to never see his Family, so he can't relate.
Okay, so I find that Amusing, yet, Touching, and have to pretend to be Serious when my Grandson is Freaking Out about it. The "Only Ten Years" even became an Inside Joke around here. Every time I have a Goal or Project now, the Family Joke, well, better get it Done is less than 10 Years... coz, ya know... Tick Tock! *Bwahahaha* And The Young Prince said that Allen marvels that The Man is still Alive, given his grim Projections... that even Docs have been as blunt as Allen about! *LMAOROTF* No, Seriously, especially at the VA, diplomacy about Fragile Patients is mostly absent and quite blunt, not sugar coated whatsoever if it's grim. Guess they figure the Old Soldiers can handle it, they've often seen and Survived War...
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Fun Fact: Years ago we had one of the VA Specialists with no Bedside Manner at all, tell The Man they just wouldn't bother with Preventative Higher Risk to him Procedures like Colonoscopy and such. Since, he'd Die before anything they found could Kill him anyway!!! He'd given him an Expiration Date of less than Seven, and that was about Four/Five Years ago. I remember The Man being all distraught, so I just reminded him, "Listen, you're not Dead 'til GOD says so, Okay... so, Calm Down." *Winks* I'm notorious for not Receiving Grim Prognosis anyway. *LOL... I don't... otherwise I would have accepted that The Man would remain a Vegetable or Die after his catastrophic Accident. But, Noooo!*
Then I reminded Family that my Uncle Syd from Wales was given an Expiration Date of a Terminal Condition when he was in his Fifties, he Lived to be 90, Outliving all the Docs who'd given him that Projected Expiration Date. *LMAO* And, my Younger Brother has been given a close Expiration Date with his Terminal Condition since when he was in his early 30's, and he's still Piping along in his 60's now, and Docs can't understand why he's still even Alive either?! *LOL* See, NOT DEAD 'til GOD says so!!! Simple. People often Receive Bad News as if it's Gospel and not a Projection mere Mortals can't determine really.
They can be accurate, or way the Hell off. Miracles happen that defy Science, Logic and Prognosis, it can't be explained. But, I got firsthand Testimonies, so, I know what's possible, tho' seemingly improbable and thought to be impossible. I'd be dug halfway to China now if I'd dug a Hole every time I was told by Medical Professionals to make Final Arrangements for The Man or my Brother!!! I see no Date Stamp on any of our Asses. And Nobody is Promised Tomorrow... even if you appear in Tip Top Shape either. So, in Theory, we're ALL fucking Terminal, you just can't Fixate on it and get too Inside your own Head about it, it's just not Helpful.
A Blast from the 1980's Past... The Daughter Aged 4.5 Years Old and The Son Age One Day Old! He was almost 11 lbs. at Birth, but she insisted she wanted to try to hold him on her own, even tho' she was a tiny Sprite of a Child. Clearly, he was not Happy about it. *LOL* I forgot you can see the little Round Band-Aide on his Hand from the Hospital... they didn't keep New Mom's long in those Days, you dropped a Kiddo and unless there were complications, they released you right away. I remember my Co-Workers being shocked when I walked in with him less than 24 Hours after having had him and on my way Home, my Bank was across the Street from the Hospital! *LOL*
In those Days the Main Hospital was clear in Downtown Phoenix and I'd lived near the Air Force Base in what was a Small Town Rural Area way back then. So, no matter what other City, Unincorporated area or Town around Phoenix you lived in back then, your Kiddos would be Born in a Hospital in Downtown Phoenix. It's sometimes hard to Believe when I moved to Arizona, Metro Phoenix only had a Population of around 200,000 and now it's around Five Million! It will be interesting during the next Census what the Nation's migratory shift will show? I know they're coming in droves to Arizona, even if there's a mass Exodus in your part of the Country.
Happy Autumn my Friends, don't let the Issues of Life get you Down... Dawn... The Bohemian
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