Tuesday, October 1, 2024

Deep Issues Of Life Whether Resolved... Or Not


 

We went back early to glean more of those Senior Supplement Drinks and Adult Diapers that had been dumped in unopened Boxes at the Nature Preserve.  Everything was going fine until The Man did what I'd specifically told him NOT to do.  Then, the moment my Back was turned, he did it anyway and took a Senior Fall.   I couldn't get him up by myself becoz he was being whiny and saying he couldn't do it, which, once you get that Mindset, well, you absolutely then can't do it.  *Eye Roll and Le Sigh*  I'd get him up on his Feet and he'd be dramatic and go down again, it was getting Hot and I was losing Energy fast, to the point of getting Angry with him.  So, I set him down with a Cold Drink and poured some Cold Water over his Head and Hat, then went to the River to get a Corn Fed looking Guy who was Fishing to Help me.




His name was Victor, Middle Aged strong looking Big Hispanic Guy, very Kind, and he immediately agreed to Help.  Wouldn't you know, to Save Face and not look like a Pussy, the Moment another Man was there, The Man got up just fucking fine and stayed up!!!   I was angry, since he'd acted like he couldn't for over 45 Minutes of me getting him to his Feet and not staying up... but relieved to get him in the Truck.  I Thanked Victor profusely and drove him back to his Vehicle, he had a nice Sporty Mustang and I told him now he'd have good Fishing Karma for being such a Good Samaritan.  *Winks*   I told The Man since he wouldn't behave and follow his Safety Prompts, he's no longer getting to go on these kinds of Outings anymore, too risky if he's gonna act the Fool.  What if I couldn't find a Fisherman to Help us?




He's like a Toddler sometimes and requires just that much Supervision, you can't turn your Back on him before he's doing something Foolish and that he's been told he shouldn't.  *Le Sigh*  He Loves these Outings and so having them Suspended for a while as his punishment and consequences, is a Lesson he has to Learn for his own Good and Safety.  He's been quiet and petulant, I had to toss him in the Shower again and change him, so, I was quite exhausted and what should have been a pleasant Morning was anything but that.   However, that said, I gleaned about another $1,000 worth of Boxed Senior Protein Drinks and 5 Packages of Adult Pullups, so, the Ranger will be pleased I hauled so much more out of there for when he brings his Guests thru.  Aborting the Mission for doing more Environmental Cleanup due to The Man's Fall meant we got Home way earlier than expected.




Princess T scolded him too, she knows that when he's disobedient is when he usually has something bad happen and it upsets me.  I really do try to take good Care of him and keep him active doing what he still can do.  His Cardiologist likes the progress he's made due to me taking him out doing things he just wouldn't do at a Gym.   The Gym Membership for him is a complete waste since he's reluctant to do anything once we get there.   Also, he forgets which Locker he put his Clothes in and I always have to send some random Man in there to the Men's Locker Room to locate him, retrieve him and ensure he's Okay.   It's not like I can go in there after him or take him into the Women's Locker Room.   They don't like Caregivers using the Family Locker Room coz of all the Kiddos in there.  Honestly, I prefer going to the Gym without him in tow, then I can relax, exercise and not Babysit him.




Now that The Daughter is in Mexico thru the end of the Year, and both The Son and Princess T have Jobs, I don't have the Backup for him here that was Helpful for most Daytime Caregiving of him.   Once they get Home or have a Day Off they try to Help me with him or let me have Me Time to take Naps or do whatever else needs to get done in the way of Housekeeping and Home Maintenance that gets deferred if he's monopolizing my Focus, Time and Energy.   Which is finite now, I only have so much of each that I can expend in a Day before I'm worn out and can't do any more, or shouldn't.   But, luckily The Daughter Organized and Cleaned before she left, so the House is pretty much better and in Order than it had been Housekeeping Wise.   We had also cleaned out the Fridge and Organized the Pantry and Cupboards so we knew what I had on Hand or needed to Buy of Essentials.  She Deep Cleaned the Bathrooms for me too.




TJ came over this Morning and was teary Eyed saying they miss her already.   Before she left, since he and his Older Brother Rob Paid for her Bus Ticket, she'd Cleaned their Parent's House for them, since, they Gifted her the Money and didn't want it Paid back.   Anna used to do that and now Anna is gone and the Parents are too Old.  Both Sons are in their 60's and good about Yard Maintenance, less adept as Housekeeping.  *LOL*   So, they really appreciate The Daughter always coming over and just doing those things to Bless their Family.  They are good people and good Neighbors and do a lot for us too, so it's great reciprocity we got going on between our Two Families.   Anyway, right in front of our Home on the Main Street, only separated from our Properties by an Access Road directly in front of our Homes, there was an end to a major High Speed Police Pursuit.



We heard the crash and just thought it was a bad accident, 'til we went outside and saw about 15 Special Unit Agency Officers with Sniper Rifles drawn surround the Vehicles with the Perps that they'd ended the Pursuit by crashing the Two Vehicles involved!!!   Numerous Unmarked Police Vehicles too, mostly SUV's, about 7-8, so, that was highly unusual, no Marked Police involved.   They took about Four Men and a Woman out of the crashed Vehicles with Guns drawn on them!!  We heard from the Mailman that the Pursuit had gone over 100 mph and unmarked Police Vehicles were involved, spun one of the Vehicles out with a Pit Maneuver... looked like SWAT and DEA involved and they closed the whole Main Road off and had come in on Two directions, so it must have been something very serious.   






It should be on the News at 10:00 p.m. Tonight.   Both of the Perps Vehicles were totaled, but they all exited seemingly unharmed, no shots fired either, no Officers harmed, so, the most preferred ending to something like that.   But, scary when it happens right in front of your Homes.   Made me think it was a Sting Operation gone sideways perhaps?    All the Perps were very thin and young, so Drug related incident instantly came to Mind, especially given how many of them there were that were apprehended.   It was right at Rush Hour, so a Miracle no Civilian Vehicles or Casualties were involved at such high rates of Speed and the Speed Limit is only 35-40 on that Main Road and most of the cross Main Roads since it's all Residential.   No telling how long or how far they'd chased them or where it all began?   




The abundance of Police Unmarked Vehicles and Armed Officers with high power Weaponry was indicative of what would be a very dangerous Situation to unfold in a Residential Area at Rush Hour.   Also, School was letting out so numerous School Buses around dropping Kids off.   Things could have gone very badly, a relief it ended without it being worse.   I got a Video Chat from The Daughter, she and her Ex's Wife, and her Sister whose got the Youngest of our Trio of Grandkids there, all got Interviewed by the Caseworkers Today.   The Daughter said it went better than expected, the House was Clean when she arrived so she didn't have to do much at all.   She may have to talk to a Psychologist, well, they all do, and she may have to take some Classes, she's not sure what kind of Classes exactly, but she's willing to do whatever they require if it means Placement remains as it is.





When Social Service said Diana's Sister isn't related by Blood so shouldn't have the Youngest, The Daughter contested that.  She told them the Aunt-By-Marriage has been in the Lives of the Girls since they were very little and they Love them and have had the Youngest for the past Three Years and she's healthy and happy there, they Raise her like their own Child.   So, why would they remove her just becoz the Aunt isn't a Blood Related Relative only to then Place her with complete Strangers she doesn't know and don't Love her, it makes no sense.  They had to agree that it would be disruptive and not in the Teen's best Interest.   So, we don't know what the Investigation behind whoever called it in will determine, they may just dismiss it now that Three Adult Women are in unison and unanimous about what's best for the Kiddos?  We weighed in as well, as much as we can from a whole other Country.  So, The Daughter gave the Caseworkers our Contact info and said they'd need an English Speaker to Interview me by Phone if necessary to back up her Statements.  Yes, the Tables are turned, I need a Translator.  *Winks*




The Daughter found out why her Ex's New Wife left the Home.  Apparently, after Salvador's abduction, the rest of the Family forbid her to remain, even tho' she'd been Caring for Saint Maria and the Daughter's Two Oldest Children, as well as her own Three Kiddos.  So, she had no choice but to leave, it wasn't her Home.  Even after he turned up Alive, he's been detained in Jail and hasn't had any Due Process yet from what The Daughter found out.   So Diana had to leave with her Children and still has been told she can't return to that House, so, she hasn't.  We'd been led to Believe she Abandoned Maria and those Kids, but, as it turns out that was a Family Spin by Relatives and not the Truth.  The only ones who had been taking Care of Maria and the Three Kids were Diana and her Sister Marveya.





Since Diana, Marveya and The Daughter are the only ones Social Services Interviewed for their Side of the Story, they now know it had to be someone in his side that made the Complaint.   And we all still Believe it has more to do with the House than the Welfare of any Child or Vulnerable Adult, coz, until Maria Died, the Accusation wasn't Anonymously made about the Two Kids being Alone without a responsible Adult in the Household.   And the only Accusation that could be made about Marveya is she's not Blood Kin of the Youngest she took in Years ago and has been Supporting and Raising.   The Daughter has consistently sent Money to both Sisters for as much of the Support as was needed or asked for, they kept the Receipts to prove that.  So, I think Social Services have to consider those are the only Three Adults who have stepped up and aided Maria and those Kids.   And now they know False Statements and Omissions have been made for this Case from who Called them in to Investigate.





Anyway, the Caseworkers have a lot to Unpack and figure out, now they know information that Opened the Case was NOT entirely forthcoming, accurate and perhaps injected False Information and Omit extended Custodial Family dysfunction, indifference and neglect to Report also on Purpose.  The Daughter has never had Custody of her Kids and Diana's Family are Related only by Marriage.  But, they are the only Three who had Helped Maria and the Kids as much as they possibly could.   It's complicated and The Daughter can watch over things for the 90 Days she can Legally stay in the Country and comply with whatever Social Services requests of her. Even if they deem her Unfit to Care for the Kids due to her Disability, we have offered to be considered and we ARE Blood Kin.  By then the Oldest will be considered an Adult.   As well as working Two Jobs and going to College to further her Education, she and the Middle one also Babysit for People to earn Money and Sell Chorizo and Tortillas they make from Home and Neighbors Buy.  The Kiddos all know how to Work their Hustle, and HAD to by necessity, Bless them.





  So, they were Babysitting when The Daughter called us.  She also has been offered a Job by a Seafood Restaurant Owner she knows. He has quite a Crush on The Daughter and at one time wanted to Marry her.  *LOL*   She's declined that offer, she doesn't want to Marry anyone, but is still good Friends with him and he knows she's a hard Worker, so she was going to Work after our Call.   She's always been able to find Work in Mexico, easier than here, they don't Mind that she's Mentally Ill, so long as she can do Work they need.  *Smiles*  She often jokes that you can be Bat Shit Crazy there and if you are an exceptional Worker and Trustworthy, they don't Care, they'll put you to Work and allow for your Disabilities and Peculiarities.  *LOL*   It's Why The Daughter prefers Mexico to living in the U.S., more compassion and consideration extended to her there for how she just is and can't Help but Being.






 Here it seems your Work Ethic and Trustworthiness are considered less so than your Physical or Mental Status is.  The Disabled still face a lot of discrimination, especially those with Mental Illness or profound Developmental Disabilities.   Often they are Dehumanized and considered a Social Burden nobody really wants to address appropriately.  Anyway, glad she was there less than a Day before she found Work, since here, she'd lost her Job when her Boss relocated to Prescott and Closed his Phoenix Location.   So, she'll at least have a way to Earn some Money they need again now, here she would have had to rely upon Qualifying for SSI Disability again and DES Welfare/Food Stamps to get by.   SSI often rejects and denies all Applicants and you must Appeal and be able to Hire Legal Counsel.  With Welfare you have to now have Minor Children, and Food Stamps you can only receive for 90 Days in an Annual Period.   So, not Sustainable for a Disabled Adult or even someone long term Unemployed or Homeless.   A real Catch 22.





She really never wanted to have to go back to DES or Social Security and ask to Qualify for Services and Benefits, so many Strings attached to being even considered.   Didn't matter that if we hadn't taken her in she'd be on the Streets and have Zero Income, so how would she get by with no Shelter, no solid options for the ability to Work and Support herself due to the extent of her Disability, and no Food Security?   This is Why you see so many Seriously Mentally Ill forsaken and living on the Streets and nobody really Cares or wants to Deal with it.   Most don't have the Ability to Advocate for themselves and seek Services or be able to get thru the Bureaucracy.   Which is considerable amounts of Paperwork that is grueling for me to even Help her fill out and submit, go thru the Interview Processes, the Mental Health Screenings, and Appeals if Denied.    The System is stacked against them actually and sets them up to Fail and be Denied any basic Humanitarian Aide.






One of the requirements we keep running into is she'd have to be ON Mental Health Meds for a Year to become Stabilized enuf to receive Services most Agencies offer.   Well, she had to go off Psychotropics Years ago due to it Negatively impacting her Health.  She had Kidney and Liver Issues and even failure of vital Organs, after being on them too many Years.  So did her Son, The Young Prince, whose Shrink discontinued the usage when he was 15 due to Organ failure from them.  Plus, a lot of Teens and Adults with Serious Mental Illness are adverse to taking their Meds consistently anyway and refuse them, go off them, or, in most cases, Self-Medicate or abuse the Medications prescribed.   So, it never works out all that well really, even if they have a Caregiver.  And if they don't, well, the chances are they're not always lucid enuf to make good decisions on a consistent basis on their own anyway... so it's an unrealistic expectation The System has of them. 





I Blog about these Personal Trials and Issues of Life surrounding Mental Illness so that anyone whose never had to Deal with any of this has a better understanding of how it really is and plays out.  And, also to dispel Social Myths and Misinformation about Mental Illness which abound and vilify those with that form of Disability.   Also to offer Emotional Support to other Families going thru this whole Ordeal too, so that they don't feel like the Lone Ranger or feel they are failing their Loved Ones afflicted... or themselves if they're the ones diagnosed.  You can only do what you can do within the Margins of how The System is set up, Works or Fails those with SMI or Brain Damage, or even Severe Developmental Disabilities.   All of which will be Lifelong, no Cures, Financially prohibitive, and Emotionally draining.   I Believe it's Why the Suicide rate is so high for those afflicted and for their main Caregivers... Hopelessness sets in and the Cavalry usually ain't coming either.





And it's precisely Why I give so much Pushback to The Systems that just aren't Working.   They don't Like to have to Deal with me, but, tough Titties, I am that Crazy One who can Advocate for myself and others and so I go Balls to the Wall with it.  *Winks*   Most Agencies have come to know how relentless and tenacious I am, I never just go away quietly or make their Job Easy.  Nope.  I'll be a Joy Forever and Ever if I have to and so if you don't wanna be my next Obsession to make your Agency my Mission in Life to get something done about a Situation I'm having to Deal with... well, best to align with me and not make me an Adversary.  If you give me nothing to lose, well, then it's fucking ON.   I gladly Invite the Mexican Agencies to step into my Waters, if they feel they're Strong enuf Swimmers, go for it.   The Daughter said they told her they'd rather not and just took her Statement about what her Mom said, they saw no reason to even Doubt or Verify it.  I doubt I'll be getting That Call... but... they're Welcome to make it if they see fit???   *Winks*


 



Yeah, The Daughter is not the only Bat Shit Crazy one, that Apple didn't fall far from it's Tree, but I'm just Higher Functional is all.   And my Mother and Irish Nanna in North Wales before me, it's a Matriarchal Thing apparently. *Bwahaha*   Yes, my Maternal Grandma was Irish and Married a Didi Kai Welshman, so, Culturally she was shunned since I do Believe her People were Irish Travelers and even the Gypsies have their Clans they would rather not integrate... Tribalism in Human Beings does run fucking deep, I'll tell you that as someone with Mixed Heritage.   Those of us who are Mixed know firsthand how Tribal those are who don't like mixing up of Ancestries and feel some kind of Negative way about it.   Humans aren't as Progressive as most would like to Believe themselves to be when it comes to Identity Politics. 






  You are forced to "Identify" as something, even if you're actually many somethings.  *LOL*   That's why I found it Amusing about the Race Baiting about Kamala... when did she 'Become' Black... or is she East Indian?  She can be BOTH you know, it's not fucking mutually exclusive. I can relate, people would always wanna be firmer about Identity, are you White... or are you Native American... Didi Kai... Half-breed... what do you consider yourself?    And... more importantly, what do everyone else "consider" you as Being?   Or get upset that they Identify you differently than you may Identify yourself, which to me is the REALLY Weird part, why should they even fucking Care?  *LOL*  Well, it's a mixed bag my Friends, to some I'm White, to some I'm not... and I don't really Care one way or another what anyone "considers" me or "identifies" me as, I'm ME regardless of their Labels and personal Biases or Hang-ups about it.   Their Issues, not mine, I'm perfectly Fine being what I am, all of it.   And those who get Twisted about it, can Kiss my Ass. *LOL*




********

Happy October my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian


10 comments:

  1. Sounds like your plate is full and really about to overflow... I hope all settles down for you soon

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    1. Me too, it's been a lot all at once. But, isn't that how things usually go... either everything is swell or the shit hits the Fan. *LOL*

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  2. I'm so sorry about the senior fall. I have been in similar circumstances and it is heart stopping. I am glad your fisherman was there to help. I am really glad that The Man wasn't injured. That could have made a bad situation worse. Just caring for him is enough on your hands without the rest of the stuff going on. So glad to hear that things in Mexico seem to be going in the right direction. Thinking about all your family and sending good thoughts.

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    1. Thank You, and Yes, keeping The Man active is a challenge and has it's particular risks. But, him being too sedentary carries more risk and especially his mobility. When he was Wheelchair bound last time I could not Care for him, he's too much dead weight and doesn't try to help himself, he gives up easily and gets belligerent when you press him. So, I try to keep him ambulatory since otherwise our ability to Care for him in the Home would be questionable at best and at worst, we couldn't do it and wouldn't have money for alternative Care either. It's in his and everyone else's best interest that he keep strengthened and able to do some things for himself within reason and have something positive to look forward to. His depression becomes a huge obstacle and propping him up physically and emotionally can be exhausting. I do Hope things in Mexico work out so the Kids can remain where they want to be and are familiar with. I can't really take on more without some assistance offered and as you know, qualifying for Help is as scarce as Hen's Teeth and they find all kinds of ways to disqualify you, none of it based on actual Need or circumstance... it's more having to be Flavor of the Month.

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  3. I had to laugh at The Man playing helpless until a man showed up. That was a pretty good con, but now you know his weakness is his ego …. When a man shows up to help you.

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    1. Men's Egos and Pride... well, we could talk about that all day couldn't we? *LOL* He doesn't try very hard to do what he could if he thinks he can get away with just saying he can't do it. Another Man being present does make a difference, even when The Son tries to help his Dad, then The Man is adamant he can do for himself. But, if a Female is present he's whiny and wanting to be coddled and I'm just not the Nurse Nightingale Type, as you know Shirley, I call out BS when it starts smelling 'off'. *Winks* I do know if he falls and could not actually get up that I'm not able to lift him, he outweighs me by a lot and I can lift 100 lbs. still, but 250, no way.

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  4. Sending positive vibes your way!

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    1. Thank You my Friend, all Positive Vibes are always Welcome. *winks*

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  5. As always, your plate is so full....honestly I don't know how you do it. I can sympathize with the 'man' issue as I had to deal with my Dad, the JOCK cracking the bones in his neck at 84 playing pool polo...good grief...they can be difficult and it was only one surgery and two pins.
    Golly, hope all goes well for your daughter and grands...such an issue...and NO, I don't want to deal with ballistic Dawn either...grins, Sandi

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    1. Your Dad, Pool Polo at 84... surgery, pins... yeah, we been there and done that with The Man and some of the things he tried to do and ended up with Surgical reconstructions coz he's no longer 10 foot tall and bulletproof except on the canvas of his imagination. *winks* Ballistic Dawn is a total Head Case, I will confess, but, that Dark Side does have it's advantages at times and just needs to show up every now and again when results are required and Dawn of the Light wasn't making any progress in the right direction. *LOL* Yeah, my Dance Card always seems too full and I'd kind of enjoy Boring every now and again, you know? Just like with the Presidency, a nice Boring one who just does the Job without it being in our Face all the time or Bat Shit Crazy... that would also be Nice, No? I just dropped the Post on the VP Debate, Blogger was Acting Up tonight so didn't wanna risk losing the Post or not having it Publish if I waited 'til Tomorrow to drop it.

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

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