On A Mentally Challenging Scale

 I could be Sleeping In but I find myself waking up early anyway... dammit!  I guess it's not such a bad thing, getting an early start to the day while it's still Cooler Outside.   I may even go to the Gym, I need to get into the habit of doing that with regularity again so the Membership isn't being wasted and I'm Toning Up as I'm losing Weight.   But, I've had trouble with the Inside of my Right Knee lately and if it's already injured, I don't wanna make it worse.  That's the Knee that gave out on me during Pandemic and I took the bad Senior Fall that messed up my Shoulders.  No idea what's wrong with it, feels like Tendon or Ligament injury, or a compressed Nerve or a Cartilage Tear.  Of coarse I consulted Dr. Google to see what I could do for myself.  *LOL*  If it persists I'll have to consult my Real Doctor.  *Ha ha ha*

So you might be wondering, why not consult Real Doctor first?  Well, I know far too many Seniors who do and then next thing you know they're having all these Surgeries with lengthy recoveries and rehab.  Sometimes with no real benefit from having gone thru all that Surgery to 'fix' something.  Often with then needing Medications that can become addictive and they become reliant on now for Life to get thru their days.  I just am cautious that a lot of Western Medicine is now a Money Grab and intended to foster dependency, no Money to be made off Well People or keeping them Healthy instead.  But, chronic Sickness or Disabling factors can make Big Pharma and the Medical Community quite enriched.  So, that's my personal Conspiracy Theory and I'm quite Guarded about seeking Treatment.

I have a very good Doctor, so... if something persists and I do think it's beyond the scope of me self-doctoring myself from Home with remedies tried, I'll eventually give in and get a consultation.  *LOL*   During Pandemic of coarse you couldn't see anyone unless you were literally dying of something, usually COVID, so when the Knee gave out suddenly, I couldn't even get treatment for the Shoulder injuries and they healed on their own.  So, now I probably have some issues with them healing incorrectly, but, too late now Docs are seeing you again.   I certainly don't want a Knee giving out suddenly again and risking another Senior Fall with more injuries, especially a broken Hip or something grim tho'.  Other than that, everything is Swell.  *Bwahaha*

Lowe's should be contacting us either Today or Tomorrow about Signing the Shed Contract and Financing the Purchase.  The Lowe's we use is right next to our Antique Mall so very convenient and close to Home.  I'm really excited to finally be getting that Structure, we always knew we wanted and needed one.   We had Sheds on Two other Properties we owned and they were very useful and protected things nicely that just needed Storage and kept them Organized yet out of the way of daily living.   The RV Garage Mahal is large enuf for that, but not Purposed for that use.  I know what we want that Space for and Storing Inventory gets in the way of that Purpose.  I'm quite OCD about use of Space and it bothers me when a Space isn't being used as intended.  So on a Mentally Challenging Scale, it's a Big Deal for me.  *LOL* 

Having my Inventory Organized and in one convenient place, rather than scattered and cluttering up Space it shouldn't be, well, it's important to me.   I tried designating Space in The RV Garage Mahal for that Purpose and it just wasn't working out well at all, for a variety of reasons.   And having any of it in the Main House has been the bane of my existence and responsible for ALL the mess and clutter.   So, having the Shed will remedy both of those situations that bother me... A LOT... and cause more Work and Emotional Stress than I need to have all the time.  When we had the Villa McManse it wasn't an Issue, since, that ridiculous sized Home still had several empty Rooms when we had already lived there Five Years.  The Historic Property had 9 Outbuildings, including 3 Cottages and a Main House with many Rooms, so, not an Issue there either.

I got very spoiled at both of those Properties having more Storage than anyone would ever need.  And tho' this Property has the Warehouse sized RV Garage Mahal, it is one big Open Space and Visually, that's often overwhelming if not completely Organized and sorted out for optimum use yet.  Once it's completely set up, then things will be more functional in there, but for now, it's not in more than half of it still.   So, it's not useful to have even a large dysfunctional Space and it will take more Time to make it completely functional and useful to me.  With Inventory especially, I can't wait for a lot more Time to pass before I have it to where I can easily Access it, Organize it, Price it, Store it until it's put into our Showroom or Case.  It wastes Time and Energy when it's chaotic and I don't know exactly where it all is.

Plus, it's not as if that's all I have to do around here, so the more streamlined I make Life, the better off I am from an Emotional standpoint.   The Man has been more challenging from a Caregiver's Standpoint.   Keeping him engaged and active enough takes effort becoz he won't self-motivate to do anything at all anymore and needs constant direction and supervision now.   His Mood Regulation is dependent upon how miserable he feels, so, it's important for me to give him something to look forward to every day.  It's not like he'll think of something stimulating or enjoyable otherwise, he's reliant on us initiating all of that now.  I do try to challenge him to make decisions on his own.  But I can tell it often overwhelms or agitates him to.  So, not worth winding him up and him becoming stressed or irritable about simple decisions he's struggling to make on his own.

There is no Manual about how best to Manage the Care of someone in cognitive decline, so, we Wing it mostly.  Most days he does really well and I'd like to keep it that way.  So, the more Organized and Efficient the rest of my Life and Work is, the better.   I do Plan to set up at least one of the Work Benches in the New Shed and encourage him to use it too.  Had we gotten a bigger one we could have put both his and my Work Benches in there, but, that didn't work out with the other Shed Company that Sold larger ones.   He Imagines he'll do all kinds of things at his Work Bench, and so I'm going to set things up so that he actually could and might, even if he doesn't.  Just having it set up seems to make him Dream about what he'll do, even if he never actually does it except on the Canvas of his Imagination.  And, that's good for him Mentally and Emotionally.

He has all the Supplies to do things he once did, and who knows, mebbe he'll re-engage at some point?   But, even if he doesn't, it makes him Happy to have it, so, it's all Good.   It's like all the Fishing Gear he's Hoarded up and yet every time The Son and his Friends invite him to go Fishing with them, he declines or makes excuses.  So, we all now know he'll probably never go Fishing again and just likes the Idea of going Fishing now.   Which is probably easier on him to Dream about now than to actually do in his present Reality and Condition.  But, having a slew of the Gear to do it makes him Happy as a Clam at High Tide and I just joke with The Son that it'll just have to be thought of as his Inheritance one day.  He'll have enough he could open a Shop!  *LOL*

Listen, I Get It, from my own standpoint of Aging Out, I have more Art and Craft Supplies in the Art Studio than any Sane and Active Artist would ever need.  I could open up a Shop too, so I'm just as Guilty as The Man with my Imaginings at this Season of Life.   But, I do actually Sell a lot of it too and have a loyal following of Crafters who Buy from me and say I have the best selection and prices.  Mostly becoz the small Indie Paper Arts and Craft Boutiques have long since gone out of Business now and the Big Box ones have limited mass produced Inventory as a selection and prices are high.   So, there is a Niche and I've filled it and enjoy having that kind of Inventory.   Plus, my Cache of it is vast enuf I can Sell from it for a long time without Sourcing more if I didn't want or need to.

I had a Friend at our other Antique Mall location in Downtown Phoenix that set up her Paper Arts Booth to Downsize her own Art Studio and did it for Years before finally Closing it.  I miss her Space but feel she probably finally disposed of everything she needed or wanted to, so, it's Purpose was now Served.   I got a lot of Inspiration and Schooling from her tho' on how to Merchandise and Showcase those types of Merch best, she was an Expert at it.   I probably bought more from her than I needed to becoz she made it all look so enticing and had the best Art Supplies ever, of the Genre I also like and use.  She just said she was no longer Creating and had no desire to get back to it like I do.   So, she saw no need anymore to have it or her Art Studio at Home.  A pity when an Artist gives up on their Creativity and pursuit of it tho'.   I got the sense she was letting go of a Dream she may regret letting go of?

I'm a Dreamer and so to me, even if something doesn't manifest in the exact way I Envision, it's Okay, the Dream sustained me and still would.  I like that The Man gets excited about some of the Dreams he hasn't Let Go of and still Envisions on the Canvas of his Imagination, even if it never Manifests.   People with no Dream, no Vision, no Purpose they can Imagine, tend to Give Up on Life and be quite Miserable, Depressed, or at a Loss about what their Purpose might now be?  If they ever felt they had one to begin with?  If you're out of Sync with Purpose then there tends to be the Outlook that there's not much Point to your Life and that's a dangerous Head Space to Hold.   I see a lot of Seniors in their Retirement who can't think of what to do with themselves now they don't have a Job or their Career, they defined themselves by it too much and no longer feel a Purpose.  The Man was very much like that for a while.

He gets very animated about Environmental Cleanup now becoz he sees Purpose and Value in the doing of it.  Which is why we do it a lot, becoz it is a Valuable Commodity to the Community and Nature to have Volunteers doing it regularly.   We actually enjoy doing it and there's so many peripheral benefits to doing it, improving Natural Habitat for the Creatures who live there, good exercise, we meet lots of people so it becomes a Social Outlet and Conversation Starter for The Man, engages your Mind to hunt for the Aluminum we Collect and clean up, then turn it in for Cash we wouldn't otherwise have.  We've gotten to know many of the Natural Raw Desert, Mountain Regions and Farming Areas, Nature Preserves, City and County Parks, all the Back Roads now, like the Back of our Hands.   We know what area are under most stress from chronic Littering and which areas are improving now.

Princess T got her first Mail In Voting sent to her Today.  She was so funny becoz she said she doesn't want to be a Democrat or Republican and so why do they only give you those Two Choices on that Ballot?  I agree, a lot of the time the Independent Choice Box is not there and you just have to check off the City Box Option if you don't wanna be Partisan.  That will exclude you from some Voting, which to me is undemocratic also, but it is what it just is, even tho' now Independent Voters ARE the Majority by far, so, we should have more of a Voice IMO.  The largest Political Party in Arizona is no longer a Political Party and I'm glad about that, I think Partisan Politics is ruining our Country and becoming too Cultish and putting Party over Country.  Independent Voters make up the largest Voting Bloc and yet we have no real Candidates Representing us.  We are an untapped Resource that could determine future Elections.

A whopping 73% of us Independents identify as Moderates and not Liberals or Conservatives and definitely not Extremists.   Compare that to only 34% of Democrats identifying as Liberals and only 44% of Republicans identifying as Conservatives.  Actually most Partisan Voters at least think they're Moderates and you get the gist of the Political Landscape at the present time.   If not adequately represented I think that is what discourages most Voters from not bothering to Vote or Voting for what they consider the lesser of Two Evils.  They have to feel they have a Voice and a Candidate, which, for too long, we haven't had at all and no chance of anyone we'd prefer even being on the Ballot, let alone Winning an Election.  I'm completely discouraged with our Choices and have been for several Elections... and it's only gotten worse IMO.  It's not working anymore and that's what's given Fascism a Foothold in some Militant Circles who can see the ambivalence and discouragement building.

Anyway, I'm glad she's at least willing to Vote, getting The Son or The Grandsons to bother is challenging.  They feel the Country is screwed and Extremists are being Voted in too often now by the masses and definitely too many Geriatric Leaders are the only Candidates.  I can't say I disagree with them, I agree, but, I can only Hope that Voting still Counts somewhat, tho' I do think the Electoral College should be done away with... we'd of avoided 45 ever getting Elected had it been based solely on actual Votes by Voters, he didn't get the majority by Millions of Votes.   More Americans Voted for Hillary Clinton than any other Losing Candidate in U.S. History, so, the Voice of the People was ignored and overruled by the Electoral College deciding who Won, plain and simple.  Two Point Nine Million more Votes is huge IMO for a Candidate to still lose in spite of having that many more Americans Voting for her than for the Competitor who was given the Win.  

 That means almost Three Million Voters Voices were cancelled out and ignored.  It shows me they don't Trust the Voice of the Qualified Citizens to chose their own Leader.  And I don't Trust Congress to make that decision for us.   In fact, so much of The System I don't Trust at all anymore, too corrupted, too greed and Ego driven, too Cultish for my liking now.   I really think in November we're gonna have a Situation, regardless of who Wins and who Loses, I really do.  So, not looking forward to the next Election at all, becoz I do think things could be way worse than they even were after the last one and the chaos and violence that ensued.   The Extremists have just become more emboldened and entrenched in the Political Machine, they've infiltrated too high up and now are in plain sight and being supported by a Lunatic Fringe that is pretty Radicalized, Manipulated and Weaponized by them.

  If you've talked to their Base, you realize how untethered to Reality, running with Low or Faulty Propagandized Information and Lies, and Unhinged they really are.   People you might even think pass as being reasonably intelligent and discerning, can get caught up in the Movement they Believe in even if evidence, proof and facts are contrary to any of it.  The Conspiracy Theories and False Information bought into are pretty outrageous.   But as Voltaire is said to have Warned, whoever can make you Believe Absurdities, can make you commit Atrocities.  It's a loose translation from his 1765 passage in "Questions sur les Miracles" and as Warnings go, this one is still Timely and worth heeding in any Translation of it, however long or condensed, in any Language.  

 The full context of Voltaire's actual Paragraph even explains Why.  A Person who has been led into Absurdity of Belief, is led to be Unjust not in some incidental, random or trivial way.  But becoz they fall under a kind of external "command" or domination that results in a "demand to do Wrong, to that God-Given Sense of Justice in their Hearts", from which follow Crimes.   If someone feels that whatever they're doing or saying is Righteous, even if it's an Atrocity, they can justify it in their own Minds and Hearts with little to no Conscience about it. Dehumanizing and/or Vilifying other Human Beings who they perceive as the catalyst to any problems or barriers they are experiencing and need to Blame.  Or see as "The Enemy" and against them or a perceived Threat to their Beliefs and to them, often leads to Crimes against Humanity as their "Solution". 

Anyway, Princess T has been depressed and crying for Three Days, becoz the Seniors had their Graduation and everyone she knows was posting their Graduation Pixs.  I know it made her feel left out and that she has missed something Special, even tho' she'd told us she didn't Care, that's just not True and she finally told me so.  I knew, but downplayed it becoz there's nothing she can do about it, she tried her best all thru her School Years, that's all you can do.  Having a Learning Disability that they can't or won't accommodate is just hard for a Student with Special Needs.  They would make a Production of the IEP and then your Students will tell you most don't follow or honor it.  If you confront Administration/Teachers they swear they are honoring and following it, since, it is the Law they'd be breaking otherwise.

We just Hope that she can recapture some Credits via Summer School and whatever she has to do next Year if she can't earn them all?   If she can't earn them all by the next Year I know it will be very hard to convince her to keep at it.   At some point a Kid wearies of trying their best and failing the Classes they struggle in over and over again.   LATER:  I got called in to cover for an MIA Co-Worker, I was taking a Nap, but hadn't done anything all day, so agreed.  It's Jackson who didn't show up, nice Guy buy a notorious Slacker, I just Hope his other Co-Workers aren't?  I don't usually fill in for a Wednesday Night Shift, so, no idea who I'll be Working with?   Wednesdays should be pretty slow too, so it won't be hard work.

Princess T's Boyfriend is picking her up now he's off Work, he's been worried about her being depressed about Graduation.  He's been Graduated a couple of Years and encourages her.   The Daughter left for her Work late becoz she carpools with her Boss and for some reason he was Two Hours late and called her to let her know he'd be picking her up at 9:00 a.m. rather than 7:00 a.m..   She wished she'd known early enuf she could have slept in and not gotten ready at the usual time, I agree, that would have been helpful.  But, I think his Wife is still recovering from her Fall and Illness that caused it, so, he's probably bringing the Children to Day Care or something?   I had thought his MIL would be staying with them to Help with the Kids, but mebbe she could only do it briefly?   So, they'll probably be getting Home from Work quite late.

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Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian