A First Car... And My Stress Reduction Process

 I've been trying to play catchup on Blog Reads.  I'm not a big Reader, I like to Write, I like to take Photos, so my Blogging is prolific but my Blog Reading, not so much, Sorry to all of you who have Wonderful Blogs, well worth Reading.  Becoz my Adult ADHD kicks in to high gear when I try to Read anything, so focus is just hard even if what I'm Reading is really good!  And I fall way behind in catching up with your Blogs and I'm a notorious Lurker so you might not even know I was ever there Reading what you Wrote if I fail to Comment and Engage.  I'm trying to be better about it, so Tonight I spent more time Reading than Blogging.

And I was filling Vintage Canning Jars with Vintage Marbles when I wasn't here at the Computer Tonight.  *LOL*  Lately I've found good caches of Vintage Marbles in Bagged Lots, and I just can't resist them.   Any I don't wanna Keep I just Sell, Marbles are still popular so they always Sell very well.  I put them in Black Net Bags, about 25 to a Bag, sometimes with 1 large Shooter Marble if I have some of those I don't wanna Keep.  But, most of the Shooters have been really nice and I have Kept them.  To me Marbles are like Tiny pieces of Art Glass and of coarse I have those I am attracted to most.  So I have lots of Vintage Canning Jars with Zinc and Milk Glass Lids holding my Vintage Marble Collections.  A Sizeable amount of them filled with Marbles now.  Above are just some of my Front Porch Herbs which are doing well.

Some were even from my own Childhood and are European Marbles, some over 100 Years Old now.  I used to Trade Kids for their Gramma's Marbles and give them a few Modern Ones for just One Special Antique One.  Kids usually didn't have any Idea of Value of Vintage/Antique Marbles so they were delighted to make the Trades.  Most of their Parents didn't Care either coz they'd given them the Family Heirloom Marbles to actually play the Game with and many of them would have gotten wrecked by Play, chipped, broken and worn, so I actually Rescued a lot of Valuable Marbles even as a Child from that Fate.  Some of them remind me of certain Childhood Friends I got them from.  A particularly Cherished one I Traded a Boy I had my 1st Crush on.

How do I remember which Marble that was?  Coz it was Special and on his Mom's Side they were European, from Great Britain, his Mom had him and then Married a Black American G.I., our Families became Friends when we lived in Michigan stationed at K.I. Sawyer AFB in the early 1970's.  I've since found him on FB and his Parents are both still Alive and in their 80's now, his Brother and Sister have Children, he has none apparently and is Single.  He was the most Handsome Boy I ever saw and is still a very Handsome Older Man now.   Last time I'd seen his Half Siblings his Sister was 2 and his Brother was a Newborn.  His Sister was a Beautiful Child and had Pale Green Eyes, she still does and is a Beautiful Woman.  Their Mom was like a Model tho' and doesn't look in her 80's, she looks just as I remember her!

Anyway, No, I didn't contact him via The Book of Faces, too many Years have passed and I doubt he'd remember our Family... or mebbe he would?   I have reached out to Childhood Friends when I have found them, and reconnected.   But for some reason I hesitated to with him coz I'd had such a big Crush on him in Grade School.  *LOL*  And just enjoyed seeing his Family on their Social Media Pages and that all is Well with them all and they still have both of their Parents and their Parents are still together.  Sometimes the Curiosity being satisfied is enuf and I don't Need to make contact.   There are some Childhood Friends I'd like to reconnect to, but at our Age now, I'm almost afraid to know if they've Died by now?  Getting a Memorial Page when you Search is always Sad and far too many have been Lost now.

Every time I talk to my Brother he's found out that someone we know, or used to know, has Died and has to inform me of it.  He's more Social than me, so he has his Finger on the Pulse of just about everyone it seems.  *LOL*   It is getting to where now we're some of the last who are left.  My Mom did say that was the hardest part of Growing Old, she ended up Outliving all but One of her long-time Friends by the time she Died at Age 84.  Her Older Brother made it to 90 and told me he'd literally Outlived everyone he knew of his peers and Generation.  We did have one Maternal Aunt, my Welsh Nanna's Youngest Sibling, Ivy, who lived to be 99, she was the Youngest of Seven and still wore High Heels and Makeup 'til the day she Died!  *LOL*  Dad was the Oldest lived of his entire Family, Dying at 74, Indigenous Populations live about a Decade less than the National Average American.

I haven't turned The News on all Day and I'm Zen without hearing whatever Fuckery is playing out now.  I'm to the point now where breaks in Knowing are necessary, it's all Too Much and ALL Bad.  And I'm Okay with not Knowing about it all frankly, it gives me too much Anxiety and outright Anger mixed with disgust, I feel Ashamed America has become what the rest of the World now sees us as.  And we can't say it's not who we ARE or it would have never happened and would have been immediately stopped, but it hasn't been and we as a Collective Nation did it Twice now!!!   Not all of us, I'm not saying that, I never Voted for any of it and probably you didn't either, but as a NATION this is what they chose for their Leadership TWICE, so it was no "Accident" either, it's who at least more than half the Voters ARE and they have to Own that Fact.  No excuses, they ARE the "Ugly America" the World now sees... the Dark hideous Underbelly exposed.

And let me tell you something you probably already know, America was ONLY ever GREAT becoz we as a Nation were GOOD.  When we ceased being GOOD is when we ceased being GREAT.   And ACTUALLY making America GREAT AGAIN will have to be a Journey back to being GOOD and standing on the Right Side of History and for what's decent and righteous, Humane and having Compassion for Humankind, both at Home and Abroad Globally.  Being True World Leaders and not this abhorrent perverse cluster fuck we now are.  There's nothing GREAT about that and everybody Globally is Witnessing it and appalled.  Well, except mebbe our Adversaries who have to be Celebrating it coz it's a Wet Dream for them to see America failing and falling from within. 

 I think at the very least we should seize all their assets, returning the ill gotten gains to the American People that was stolen and grifted, and exile this Leadership ASAP.  At this point Imprisonment wouldn't be enuf, leave them Penniless and sent to some Adversary to Deal with... Putin preferably, they deserve each other.  And see how long the Bromance lasts when Donnie & all his Demon Spawn arrive in Moscow Penniless, a Liability and Useless to ole Vlad now, and seeking Asylum?  *Winks*  That to me would be Justice Served to the American People and what he's done to our Nation.  And a little shitty Gift to at least one Foreign Adversary who enabled him.  But a Bow on him and a package of Depends with a "Congratulations" Gift Tag, it's a Boy. 

 His whole Family would just be a lil somethin'-somethin' Extra.  Melania would probably fare okay, she'd just go back to being in Escort Service, she strikes me as Street Wise and someone who clawed her way up.  And would fuck anyone, coz she fucked him, and I wouldn't crawl under that if they were bombing Phoenix!   The whole "Pretty Woman" thing she's got going on would be the stuff of Fairy Tales if he wasn't such a hideous perverse Monster and more Richard Gere-ish.   We'd of perhaps been rooting for her then, everyone likes a Fairy Tale ending to an unlikely Story of having one.  But she may just be cut from the same Cloth as him I suspect and so they're rather made for each other.  So, banish her Ass too, no Free Pass, she's not coming off as another of his Sexual Abuse Victims really.

Okay, Moving On, since, don't wanna Camp in that Dark Space and pitch a Tent, America's Situation is still unresolved and dire, my Ideas mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.  But a Gal can Dream.  *Winks*  And my Social Platform can only make a drop in the Ocean of Good Trouble, but, it's at least something that I feel I can be Militant and part of the Resistance doing, and so I do it.  Hungary's People did it as a Collective and that gives me some Hope that America can take notice and do so too?!  Hopefully quicker than the Hungarians did, since they tolerated being under that Oppression far too long and let it get too entrenched... and we are heading in that direction unfortunately.  Okay, Moving On for Reals now.  *Ha ha ha*

I forgot to give The Man his Night Meds at 6:00 p.m. last Night, I'd thought about doing it earlier at 4:00 p.m. and said so, and we unanimously decided that was too early.  And then... he went to Bed early.    And I spaced out about the fact we hadn't actually given him the Meds earlier and didn't realize he didn't take them at all until this Morning!!!   Fuuuuck!!!  I've got so much to remember, and not just for his sake, so my own Memory Care Issues shows up from time to time too.  I have fucking Lists all over the place and Notes galore on my Calendar to prompt me not to Forget everything I'm tasked to remember and keep on top of.  It's just a LOT.

In Real Time it's a Sunday so we've got Irrigation coming, The Son is doing the Yardwork to cut the Grass and Trim before Irrigation comes so it flows better.  The Grandson helped me sort his Grandpa's Meds, which we do every Sunday filling his Weekly Pill Organizer.  We had to call the VA Pharmacy coz Two needed Refills now and one is a switch to another Medication that's longer lasting, so we got that done too.  And The Daughter has to leave for her Job in Chandler in 15 Minutes.  So, it's been a hectic busy Sunday Morning already.  We had to get Gas for the John Deere, that was over Ten Bucks with the price per Gallon being right at around Five a Gallon now!!! 

  But, everything at Home here is done Errand Wise for this Morning and The Grandson will Babysit his Grandpa until his Sister gets Home with her New Used Car and while his Uncle is doing Property Maintenance.  I've got it like a well Oiled Machine around here now coz I Delegate well.  *Winks*   The Man got Testy coz he knows I'm leaving the Guys in Charge of him, he'd rather have us Gals, oh well, it Sucks to be him then right now coz The Son and The Grandson is all I got for his coverage and he just has to Deal and Roll with it I told him firmly, just Behave for them or I'll be on the Warpath when I get Home if they have to call me and say he's not Behaving for them.  *Winks* 

 All he has to do now is watch TV and his Shows, I got him Dressed for the day, The Daughter Fed and Watered him, The Grandson and I Medicated him!  How hard is that, really?!  Just sit nicely and watch your Programs or go take a Nap later if you get Tired before we return, that's all you're required to do now.  Us being here or not being here is a moot point when you're just watching your Programs in Peace and you're Safe and Sound with a Caregiver nearby if you Need anything else, or have a Medical Emergency.  *Eye Roll*  All they gotta really do is check in on him and ensure he's doing okay, that's all, so don't give them a hard time about it and don't act like a Cranky Old Get Off My Lawn Bastard.  *Winks and Oy Vey!!!*

I'll be glad for Commute Time and Four Hours of Me Time while The Daughter does her Housecleaning Job, I really will, I'm looking forward to it in fact.  My Chest Pain did go away so I'm Mitigating my Stress Levels more appropriately for now I guess?  *LOL*  LATER:  We're back... it went well, the day was Perfect Weather, Breezy, a little Warmer, in the low 90's now, but the Breeze made it feel a lot Cooler.  When I came Home I saw Princess T's new Used Celica, it's Silver Grey and I think may be a 2002, it's really nice looking and I'm so Happy for her.  It's got nice Rims and the Interior looks well Cared for, I like the Headlights and the Back Window, very Sporty.   I can see why she Loves Toyota Celicas, they're a nicely Styled Vehicle, attractive Lines.  {See Below}

We're almost done with Irrigation, it came about the time that The Daughter and I got Home, The Son is doing it tho'.   He'd cut the Grass and Trimmed everything along the parameters beforehand to get a better flow.   Below is me some Years ago in the Back Pasture during the Fall, watching the Sunset to the West, in a Carpet of Pecan Leaves all over the Ground.  I'm using it now as my FB Profile Picture.   The very Old Pecan Trees are on our Neighbors Property behind us and to the West of us, they're probably around 60 Years Old and Two different Species of Pecan, quite Majestic looking, I Love being surrounded by them.   Sometimes their Leaves fall on their Properties, sometimes on ours, we get a lot of the Harvest of the Nuts falling too, so all the benefits with none of the expense of Maintaining them. 

Since getting the Urgent Care Doc Report that it is Stress levels not Managed well that was causing my Symptoms, I decided to revert to some tried and true Old Indigenous Methods I know to do, but hadn't been taking the Time to do.  It's called "Grounding" and Indigenous Tribal Folks have been doing it for Centuries to Heal the Body Naturally.  You go Barefoot on the Ground, Grass is particularly good for Grounding, and just stand there and allow the Earth to recharge your Body's Natural Electrical System that is Connected to Mother Earth.  Another Method is to stand each Morning, before 10:00 a.m. and Face the Sun and Breath Deeply, allowing that perfect Timing of the Energy it releases to be absorbed by your Body also.  

 

Just doing it for a single Day made the intense Chest Pain just go away and I felt instantly Grounded and better.  I will do follow-up of coarse with my Primary.  But, now will Practice what I'd been Taught by my Ancestors/Relatives to do and just foolishly hadn't been doing.  It's so Simple, Free, and so Effective.  The Earth is Powerful Medicine if we're in Harmony with Nature.   And you know what is Eerie about it?  I hadn't even thought about those Paternal Tribal Teachings, but when I was talking, to Family, about my Stress needing to be Managed better... my Phone dinged {it's always Listening} and some Native American Healers Feeds popped up and reminded me of both Practices!!!  It gave me a Chill, and I did both Practices right away... and the Pain left my Body within mere Minutes and I felt Recharged by the Healing Energies of Mother Earth and The Sun.  

If you aren't even a Believer, try it, and you can Thank me later.  You all have The Sun every Morning, you all have Natural Ground/Earth or Grass, you can stand on in your Bare Feet for a few Minutes.  It could be a Grassy area, a Beach's Sand, or just Dirt, doesn't matter.  The Wisdom of the Elders is something we should keep Paying Forward so that it is known by all Future Generations.  We get so busy and arrogant in our Modern Lives we sometimes forget many Simple Healing Practices that the Earth provides us, Free of Cost.  And I'm trying to not fixate on World Affairs and the condition of our Nation for longer intervals.  It's just all too fucked up to keep exposing myself to it so often, even to keep informed.  Whatever happens I'm likely not going to be able to personally prevent it anyway.  It doesn't mean I'll stop being part of the Resistance, but I won't wind myself up so tight about it either.

I've stalled out on the Great Edit and Purge, so I do need to Focus more on that Project in earnest.   To make marked progress and to keep encouraged and optimistic about the possibilities of finishing it one day.  Wading thru Possessions of Yesteryear sometimes brings back a flood of Memories and so Letting Go can become harder as the Objects become more Meaningful.  And with everyone living here now with all their Worldly Possessions now intermingled with ours, it's hard to find sufficient placement for it all, even if you'd rather not get rid of what's left of yours that now is displaced.  And a lot got displaced every time another Family Member had to move back in.  And I know our Mortality is on the Minds of the Kiddos coz they're asking some of the hard Questions now about what's the Plan about Estate Planning and which of them will be responsible for it.  

Princess T being the likely choice, coz she's the most responsible, financially savvy, and fair Minded.  But somehow The Grandson assumes he will be.  He's delusional like that.   And I know he wouldn't make good decisions, he's very Smart, but not about disposition for Financial Security for the Good Of All, let us just say.  And he blows thru whatever resources he has instantly, so in a Minute he'd be destitute without a Pot to piss in or a Roof over his Head or any means of Support.  He really requires a Trustee, as does his Mother.  His Uncle just needs a good Woman whose Financially savvy to manage his affairs for him, his Niece would be the perfect Choice.  It's a lot on her and I have to discuss it with her in case something happens to me first and get it down in Legal Format.  I've thought about a revocable Living Trust with me and her as Trustee and all the Kiddos as Beneficiaries.  Will have to look into that further.

Princess T came Home Crying at 5:00 in the Morning coz she accidentally stepped on and squished a Gecko on the Front Porch.  She felt so bad about it coz it blended in so well she never saw it, until, too late.  Rusty didn't know what to say or do so she came in and I had to comfort her and get her to Laughing about something morbidly tragic that was definitely traumatic to her.  She respects all Living Things and our Lizards and Geckos are great for managing Insects so we never harm them in any way.  They hang out at the Front Porch quite often coz the Porch Light attracts their Food Source and Warmth, they're Nocturnal Hunters mostly.

A lot of the Bling Images Today are TRES MELINDAS and it was Melinda's last Weekend there at the Event.  She's going to be at Shows and I think Tours with her Line.  Her Line has been in Publication and I like it, got a very Western Flair to it and chunky.  I wouldn't mind owning a piece, especially the Buffalo.  She was so busy at the Event that I never got to talk to her about Pricing a Buffalo Pendant or the whole Necklace.   She was Selling a lot of them so I'm thinking her Prices must be reasonable and fair tho'.   Since she makes each Necklace for the Customer while they're present buying it, she prices them according to what parts they choose to make it with, so I have no idea of Price Point since the Sample Necklaces had no Price Tags and just show options of what you can Create for yourself, however Simple or Elaborate.

I'm no Unpublished Posts ahead now so gotta get busy with it.  Also, the PT Wendell was Scheduled to come at 8:00 a.m. this Morning and was a No Show, so, have no idea why or if he'll show up later on?  So, that kind of screws the day up some coz I like to be here for whenever his Nurses and PT's show up so I know what we're supposed to be doing and what his progress is.   Granted, I could get some things done and have the Kiddos watch him for me in case someone shows up.  Plus, the Pool Guy comes on Mondays and I gotta tell him the Granddaughter said she'd pay for the new Pool Pump coz ours is crapping out and Brad had told us that it was limping along but wouldn't probably last all Summer.  We wanna use it for Spring and Summer so Princess T said she'd pay for the Pump for us, Bless her.   She's a real good Kid.  

  

We had the Family Meeting about her being the one who'd be in charge if God Forbid something happens to me, to handle the Estate/Inheritance.  They're all in Agreement that a Living Revocable Trust would be the way to go, with her and I as Trustees while I'm among the Living.  I thought I'd get pushback from only one of the Kiddos, The Young Prince, but he said she is the most logical choice and he totally Trusts his Sister to always make good decisions on a consistent basis and for everyone's well being and the Good of All.   He knows he requires a Caregiver so likely wouldn't be deemed competent enuf to Manage an Estate or be designated a Trustee, nor would The Man, in his Condition.  We are gonna press Social Security too about me being The Grandson's full time Caregiver, it should come with a Stipend, to manage for him and pay for all I have to do for him as Caregiver.  In 5-7 Months we'll get a determination on his Eligibility for Disability Benefits Approval.

The Local Media has been reporting on Families being jerked around by Social Security for Seriously Disabled Adult Children's Eligibility for Care and SSI.  One Father is a Single Parent now and hasn't been able to get any Benefits for his Adult Daughter, about The Young Prince's Age, who has Down's Syndrome and can't live Independently!  She has a myriad of Health Issues that people with that Condition often have, so he was desperate for Services and Insurance for her that he cannot provide, plus, he's still her Unpaid Full Time Caregiver and had to Sacrifice his own Career/Job to be able to even do that!!!   This is what Families go thru all of the time and I'm glad the Media is picking up these Stories to make it known and not make us Invisible Victims of a very broken System denying Services and Benefits to those who should be receiving them to just Survive, remain as Well as they can be and even Thrive in the Care of Loved Ones, rather than being Institutionalized and Warehoused for Privatized Profit.

 

Privatization for Profit of things like Prisons, Detention Centers, Group Homes, Rehab Centers, Assisted Living Facilities, Nursing Homes, Mental Institutions is making some Investors/Owners/Shareholders a shit ton of Money.  There are the Non-Profits, but anything Privatized for Profit is usually corrupted by the Money they can make off of Warehousing People.  Years ago, when our Mother was still Living, her Facility was charging $11,000 per MONTH for her Care, you can't tell me it was costing that much per Person to Care for her.   It is complex to receive a Caregiver Income since Social Security doesn't pay it directly nor does Medicaid or Medicare, from what I understand.  But I know that if you're not the Spouse, I know several Caregivers of Non-Spouses that get a Stipend for doing the Full Time Care of someone who cannot Live Independently and requires Full Time Care and managing of all their Income, Medications, Medical Care and such by someone else.

And to make it even more complex, every State does everything differently and even the Benefits are not the same, or the amount Received.  Arizona doesn't have the best Ratings for Social Services, it has some of the worst in the Nation, I have no idea Why?   They claim severe Staffing Shortages, high Caseworker turnover and chronic Funding Limitations that create significant Backlogs in Child Welfare, Mental Health, and Disability Services.  I know the key Issues are overburdened Systems, high Poverty in our State, Low Wages that aren't Livable here anymore, and inadequate access to Care.  But, the State needs to shore those things up, we all pay fucking Taxes like every other State does and our Taxes aren't low here in the Urban Areas at all.  I always Owe the Feds Taxes, and I like Bernie's Idea of a 5% Wealth Tax on the Billionaires, who right now pay either nothing or such a low Rate compared to Average Citizens, that it's Obscene and totally Corrupted.

Brad showed up to clean the Pool and we told him the Grandchild is paying for the Replacement of the Pump, so he'll just do it and then Bill us, he said that would be easiest on us and on her to do it that way.  We did it that way when we replaced the Vacuum in the Pool last Year, tho' I Paid for that maintenance.   Brad says he Owes Taxes every Year too owning a Small Family Owned Business and he takes the Maximum out and says it's never enough, so he Sympathizes with Retirees getting Screwed over too by the Feds.   We all agree we don't mind paying our Fair Share, but when the Obscenely Wealthy don't, and whatever we Pay seems to never be Enough and they want More from us, that's where we begin to not Trust the System in place.  And Advocate for a New System that Works for all Americans and not just the Elite and Big Donors that Buy their preferential Treatment from Politicians who make the Rules.

The Son and The Young Prince did Environmental Cleanup at the River Preserve with me, we hauled out a huge amount of Aluminum Cans and only got about 1/3 of them this time.   We'll have to go back and get the rest another day.  Wendell the PT called, to Re-Schedule, his Car broke down and he had to have a Tow Truck come and tow it, then wait for a Loaner Vehicle, and doesn't know what his Repairs will be.  I told him no problem, The Man had done his Exercises so we just re-scheduled Wendell for Wednesday Morning instead, same time, 8:00 a.m..  I'm sorry he's got Car Troubles, that Sucks, especially when you rely on it to get to Work, and for him, he drives to each Client, so a lot of commuting for his Work.  I think his Company should provide the Vehicle IMO.

Anyway, I'm intrigued by The Swedish Death Cleanse Practice, I think that's actually what I've been calling my Great Edit & Purge Method I've been working on for what seems like an Eternity now.   But with the help of those who will one day Inherit The Hoard of Good Stuff, I never know what they want to Keep so it's a good thing they now are all here to help me decide what we want to Sell Off, Donate or toss... or just Keep.  There's not a lot of throw away items since we take very good Care of our possessions and don't Invest in cheap or worthless stuff.  So our stuff lasts and maintains or increases it's Value, I've rarely lost Money on anything I've Invested in.   And when we Buy anything we like to make our Money on the Buy, if you overpay for anything that's not gonna happen.

 

  

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Stay Strong my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian