The Small Details Matter

 The Man wanted some Exercise and to go Canning so we did Environmental Cleanup at the Nature Preserve, just Roadside, but we gleaned about 21 Lbs. of Aluminum for Recycling.  And everything was swell, 'til he took a Fall.   I hear, "Help!", and rather than use his Grabber Stick to pick something up off the Ground, as he should do, and has with him at all times, he'd bent over to pick something up.  A No-No of his Safety Prompts but he sometimes Forgets, and sho' nuff he tips over and has a Senior Fall!!!   Fuuuuck, coz he's way heavier than me and tho' I'm strong for my Age and Gender, he's like Dead Weight of 230 Lbs., so a challenge for me to get him Vertical again!!!  And he's rolled himself into the Road trying to get up, so I had to roll him out of the Road so he wouldn't get run over if a Vehicle came speeding by!

I did it, but it took scolding him when he's whining, I can't, I can't, and I'm like, Yes you fucking CAN and you will, coz we ain't got any options, do we?  So, he did what I told him to do for me to get enuf leverage to hoist his Ass back up into a Standing Position and assess if he'd injured himself.  I had pulled the Truck up right beside him so he had something to hang onto and lean upon while I also got him loaded up.  He seemed Fine except for Skinned Knees and hurt Pride.  So, that was enuf Fun and Excitement for one Morning.  I got Home, told The Son and Grandson why we were back so prematurely, coz Dad/Grandpa had not followed a Safety Prompt and taken a Fall.  And The Son deadpans, "So, you had a Good Time then?"  *Bwahahahahahaha*

Gallow's Humor always helps when something has gone sideways again.  *Winks*   And so he got gently scolded again by The Son AND The Young Prince that he has these Safety Prompts in place to keep him Safe, so he has to follow them or he won't be doing Special Things if we can't Trust him to behave.  He's a little pouty now, but I'll have him take a Shower since it was dusty where he took the tumble Roadside, and so now he's needing to be washed off and a change of Clothing.  Well, it was Fun Times, until, it wasn't.  *Bwahahahaha*   But, we made a little Cash at the Recycle Center coz I turned Three large Bags full in before going back Home, once I knew he was gonna be alright.

And he got some Fresh Air and a fair amount of Walking in, which is good for his Cardio.  His Cardiologist and his Primary Doc doesn't want him being too sedentary, but there's not a lot of Activities to engage him in that he likes and will do.   So doing Environmental Cleanup is the one thing he is eager and willing to do and he does quite well usually.  Forgetting he can no longer bend down to pick things up was a lapse in Memory and Judgment, coz his Balance is just Bad now and he has Mobility Issues at times due to the TBI and now the Dementia... so some Days are better than others for him being Mobile and On Point with what he should do and NOT do.   I do get worried about him coz it's a slow yet steady deterioration and downward spiral I cannot prevent from transpiring.

One of my BFF's is Dying and her Youngest Daughter is her Caregiver, she took her Mom out of Hospice apparently to Die in that Daughter's Home around Family.  I guess they have a Hospice Nurse that comes there, but it's hard for her Daughter to see her Mom nearing The End.  The projections were February or March, they quit the Treatments coz they weren't doing any good, she's too far gone, the Cancer spread too much, and she was too weak to continue them.  Her Hair is growing back some so she has a Silver Crew Cut and really Rocks Short Hair well, she even looked Lovely Bald actually, which is a hard Look for a Woman to pull off, but, she did. 

 And tho' it's near The End, she looks Radiant actually most of the time in the Photos The Niece is sending me, which isn't uncommon.  But now the Photos taken just on the 3rd of February, my Friend looks in Misery and so Tired of Fighting it, so I know it must be so hard on her Daughter and the Three Grandkids who see this happening every day.  That's the Youngest Grandchild of her Youngest Daughter, the little Boy beside her in that one Pix, and that's her Youngest Daughter and Caregiver beside her in the other Pix.  The Three Kids Adore their Nanna, she's helped look after them and lived with them their whole Lives.  I'm shocked her Oldest Grandson hasn't even come to see her, he's an Emergency Response Helicopter Pilot and could Fly to see his Nanna! {One of the Other Sister's Oldest Son who was her 1st Grandchild and is about 29 now.} 

 After all, my Friend Raised him from Birth thru Age 8, coz his Mom was a Teen Mother and wanted to go to College to get that Law Degree.  So her Mom Raised the Grandson while she did all that.  And then after Age 9 he went to live with his Mom, who now has 3 other Younger Children, and is a Single Parent still.  And he nor my Friends other Kids have Posted a damned thing about their Mom/Gramma on Social Media since she got Sick either, which is just Odd.   I wouldn't have known if it weren't for my Friend telling me directly she was Dying and her Youngest keeping me updated and informed of her Mom's illness.   She knows I can't take this Show on the Road and am full time Caregiving too, I Wish they still lived in Arizona so I could be of Present Help, I would definitely be.

   So, I'm rather disgusted and disappointed that they haven't been the least bit supportive of their Mom/Gramma thru her illness.  Nor of their Youngest Sister/Aunt doing everything while their Mom/Gramma is so ill and battling for her Life.  My Dad always did say nothing sorts people out quite like Trouble.   She's done a lot for all them Kiddos, they should be there for her as she's Dying.  And I don't presume to know everyone's personal details, which could be complex, but they could be Calling her at least, and from what we know, that hasn't even happened.  I don't understand it and I have no Words for their Youngest Sister, she's doing all she can for her Mom.  Dealing with the Siblings too, would be too much.

Anyway, her Mom has always been like a Sister to me, so I call her Kids my Nieces and Nephews and they call me Aunty Dawn, coz we are like Family and have a long History Shared.    The Daughter Caring for her Mom is really upset with her other Four Siblings {Two Older Sisters, Two Older Brothers} and one of her Nephews, whose Grown now and I'm Godmother to, becoz not a single one of them has come to Help or see their Mom since she got Cancer and was told she's Dying.  She wanted them all to come, and to be Fair, they all Live in various States and at least all but One of them Works, so may have some trouble getting the Time Off, I dunno?  But I think they will regret at least not coming to see her before she Dies and I know it's important to her to see each of them one last time too.

Not only that, they could be Present Help for a bit for their Youngest Sister, whose doing it all, and she's got Three Young Children and her Husband Travels for his Work so she's really doing it all Solo.  And, she's had Bad Health and Heart Problems, had a Monitor installed around Halloween and in Oixs at first I thought it was a Halloween Prop 'til she told me, No Aunt Dawn, it's the same thing they wanted to install in you after you had that Stroke, but before they determined your Heart was Fine!!!   Holy shit, coz she's only in her early 30's!!!   And, one of her Older Sisters has come out to Arizona Twice since her Mom got ill, to see us and other Friends who had Medical Issues, all the way from Florida, but never stopped in Texas to see her Mom or that Sister!!!

I didn't know this at the time, so Posted to Social Media all the Pixs we'd taken together while she was here, and while she was attending a Friend's Dad's Funeral here!!!!!!   Shit... and that's when the Caregiver Sister realized she'd bypassed coming to Texas, citing she didn't have the Time or the Money to, but had come to Arizona instead to see Friends, attend to their Crisis, and stop in to see us too!!!   So of coarse her Sister called me, very upset, and I felt badly becoz I didn't know all the Siblings had made lame excuses to her not to come see their Mom or help out the Sister!!!  And so Alex told me what irks her is that often THEY will be Posting all these Trips and Vacays on Social Media, thinking she's Stupid enuf not to see what isn't Tracking with the Lies they're telling her as to why they've avoided being there for their Mom or her!!!

And she told me now that none of them wants to Help pay for the Mom's Funeral either when the Time comes.   Alex doesn't Work, she's a stay at Home Mom, so they only have her Husband's Income for a Family of Five, plus, whatever her Mom now Needs while ill.   Her Oldest Sister works for the CIA, good Career, her other Older Sister, the one that comes often to see us, works for the IRS as an Attorney, also a good Career.  One Older Brother Customizes Cars or something, and looks like he's doing very well for himself.   Only One Older Brother has nothing to offer since he's an Addict and not in Recovery and still Using, so Alex really would rather that Brother stay away, it wouldn't be Helpful in the least and most of the time they don't even know where he is unless he's hitting someone up for Money or Favors for himself.  I have no Contact with that one for the same reasons his Family won't and don't.

And I do Feel some kind of way Strongly about it, just like her Youngest Daughter does.  I've made contact via Social Media with Two of the Older Kids, to remind them of how close their Mom is to leaving this Earthly Realm, so they have no delusions that it's not close and Time is of the Essence.   They have not responded and that's Odd too, since usually they always respond to any PM's I send to them, always have, so they're intentionally avoiding acknowledging her Illness and pending Death.  And I know it's hard to lose a Loved One, and accept Bad News, it's never easy.   But I do think if they don't take the Time now and make their Mom a Priority right now, they will have the rest of their Lives to have regrets about it.  And Bad Blood with the Sister who was there for her and did it all without any Help from any of them. 

 Coz that Sister is pissed and I don't blame her, she's NOT doing Okay, and has said so, and they should Be There for her too, even if offering just Emotional Support from afar, which, they haven't bothered.   It appears, or gives the appearance of, being very Selfish of them.  Friends of her Kids have had more contact, offered more Emotional Support, gone for visits and to help Alex out, if they live close enuf to.  And those of us who haven't lived close enuf to have kept in contact other ways to offer emotional Support so that Alex doesn't feel Isolated while she's in Caregiver Mode, coz that is a tough Row to Hoe too.  Especially for a Young Mother with a Family to juggle the Caregiving around too, along with her own serious Health Issues!!!   It's sad to see any Family with extended dysfunction between them all, but, sadly it happens often with many Families.

 

Anyway, I'm just a Phone Call away and they know they can Call anytime, sometimes just being Heard when things are rough is Helpful.   My Kiddos have known the Family almost their entire lives so they just didn't seem all that Surprised when I told them.   They feel the Family dynamic of their Friends has always been very fractured between the Siblings and so lack of cooperation and looking out for one another was no big Surprise to them.   My Friend was a Single Parent so when they lose her, that's it and mebbe that hasn't sunk in, I dunno?   And I don't try to inject ourselves into other Families personal dynamics and interpersonal Relationships, it is for them to sort out between them.  And if they don't choose to, that's what they've chosen.

The Man is doing better Tonight, so he didn't do any damage to himself during his Fall, Thankfully.  I had intended to go in to the Antique Mall with more Merch, but, I have to Work Friday Night anyway, so will just wait to go in for the Shift Tomorrow instead.  I didn't Price that much new Inventory coz I don't have a lot of Room for it left until more larger items get Sold and clear out some Space.   The Smalls are what's Selling so that's what I've been concentrating on coz I can pack some more Smalls in that are quick Turns.   I'd Sold Out of Shopkins and found some more at Home so packaged those up, we thought we'd Sold all of them that Princess T had Collected already.  A Surprise to find some more in The She Shed.   I've almost Sold Out of Troll Dolls again too, they always Sell well but I don't know I wanna Let Go of any more from my Personal Collection? 

The Young Prince almost has all of his things unpacked, he was Quick about Dealing with his Boxes to get them out of the way and get things put away.  It gives him something to do in order to take his Mind off all the Personal Issues he's been Dealing with and making this difficult transition to move back Home and end his Marriage.   He's been Surprisingly upbeat and so long as he resists making contact I think he will do better and be less Co-Dependent.   Severing Ties sometimes is a Process and often needs to be complete in order to move Forward and have a Healing take place Emotionally.   Even ending important Friendships can be hard and a Process, let alone a Romantic Relationship.  I think we've all hung on too long sometimes to a Relationship(s) that just isn't working out anymore and we need to move on from.

I let The Young Prince hang up some of his Art in the Main House that he wants me to have and to Display.  I don't have a lot of Wall Real Estate left, but we found Placement.   I Love all of his Art and am Honored when he gives me any of it to Keep for myself.  He Creates to Feed his Soul and Express himself, so it's hard for him to put any of it up For Sale, tho' he has in the Past.   Those who Buy it Love it too, so he knows they appreciate it and that his Essence is in every Creation... kind of an extension of himself really, it's all deeply Personal to him.   The level of Detail in his pieces always blows me away, especially the smallest of his Creations.

 

I spent a brief amount of time in The RV Garage Mahal Thursday Night, it was comfortable to work in there I just didn't have the energy to do it tho', so just did a few small things and looked at progress the Kiddos had made in there for me.  I did work on some Pricing Tags in the Main House tho' so that when I'm readying more Inventory to take in, I've got the Tags ready in advance.  The Mall Supplies smaller pre-printed Price Tags but larger Merch I make my own Price Tags for, including all Clothing we have For Sale.  The Small Antique Mall Tags just get ripped off things like that and aren't as visible either.   I make all my own Tags like Art Tags for a better look to Pricing our Merch for the Vibe we want to impart.  I think small details like that matter, I notice it when I'm a Buyer.

*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian