Has This Post Already Gone Too Morbid for 2026?

 

So, I managed to sneak off to do Grocery Shopping without an entourage in tow.  When I returned they all said, well, if we'd known you were going, we would have come along.  Yeah, that's the Point, you NOT knowing.  *He he he and Winks*   I spent just under $180 for a Month's worth of what I wanted to stock up on, and Saved $71 with what Sales and Discounted Items they had going on.  Which wasn't a bad Savings for Staples we Needed anyway.  I enjoy Grocery Shopping, so I like for it to be a Zen and pleasurable Experience wandering the Aisles, without anyone in tow.  And I Save more $$$ with nobody in tow as well, I stick to my Game Plan and Mission Statement, no Impulse Buys.

When we were getting Gas at the QT Yesterday, someone had left a Bag of beautiful Pink Grapefruit by the Gas Pumps.  People often do that when they have overages they grow themselves, so I took them.  They are Sublime, so Sweet, and Omar's haven't been ready to pick yet this Year that hang over our Fence Line.   Theirs are spectacular Citrus from Mature Trees as well and our Neighbors on both sides have Citrus Trees and Nut Trees and tell us to Harvest as much of it as we like off their Trees, there's always more than enuf for everyone.  Omar's Pink Grapefruit are Thick Skinned and these were a Thin Skinned variety and just as mutantly enormous and juicy, size of a small Personal Watermelon. 

I like to eat a piece of Citrus in the Morning with whatever other Breakfast I'm having.  Today it was Strawberry & Cinnamon Seeded Instant Oatmeal, with all kinds of healthy Seeds in the Oats, very tasty.  And, for the New Year I've vowed to get back to having Tea Time and drinking at least 1-3 Teas with a Meal each Day.   Whether Hot or Iced doesn't matter, and I have more varieties of Tea than any Sane Woman should possess, so I could have a different one with each Meal every Day of the entire Year without repeats.  *LOL*  My Mom, being from Great Britain, was a Big Tea Drinker, she had Tea every Day of her Life.  And was mostly a Vegetarian as well.

I did a Vegetarian Diet exclusively, with some Vegan options too, for Two Years straight to see if it would regulate having Type II Diabetes better and promote Weight loss?  It didn't, I'd be the only Fat Diabetic Vegetarian or Vegan, pretty sure.  *LOL*  Anyway, I didn't mind giving up Meat at all and when I re-incorporated it into my Diet again, I tend to eat a lot less of it now and can do without it.  You have zero withdrawal from cutting Meat out of your Diet, even if you were a raving Carnivore.  So, there's no Meat dependency or addictive issues to it, who knew?   My Vice is Soda, particularly Coke Zero, I don't like Diet Pepsi or Pepsi Zero anymore, they've done something to their Recipe that's vile now.

Drinking of more Tea and Water means I will drink a lot less Soda tho', and I like drinking Tea and Water, so it's also no depravation I experience.   I made Hamburgers for everyone when I came back from the Grocery Store, they turned out very good in spite of incessant teasing from the Peanut Gallery coz I cook on very high Heat and quickly.  They joke that they'll know Mom is done Cooking when the Smoke clears.  And asked if the Burgers would still be Mooing?  I told them, joking back, you're still Alive... and... you wouldn't have grown up so Tough if I'd cooked Right while Raising you all.  They Survived Dangerous Drugs and worse becoz I built up their Natural Immunities.  Otherwise, they might not have Survived their Crazy Lives, they'd of been too Weak and less hardy.  *Bwahaha*

The Daughter agreed that she probably didn't perish in Mexico coz of the Natural Immunities I built up for them as Kids.  *LMAO*   I let them get dirty, and The Son used to eat the Craziest shit ever when he was a Little, my Potpourri, his Sisters Live Goldfish!!!  Yeah, I remember the Poison Control Hotline recognized my Voice when I'd call them and ask if he'd be Okay coz he just drank some of his Dad's Aftershave... and such like that!?   We put those Safety Locks on everything, but Little Houdini, he could figure out and hack past everything since he could Walk!  Before he could even Walk he figured out how to Escape from every Car Seat ever made!!!  It took 'til he was able to Talk for us to figure out how he was doing it?

He was a delayed Talker due to his Autism, and I'd gone thru so many fucking Car Seats it was ridiculous.  Finally, when he was almost Three and could explain it to me, I asked.  He simply said, "I make myself Big."  Just like that, and a Friend who Owned Horses said that her Horses even do that when putting a Saddle on them.  So you have to Knee them gently to make them Exhale First to cinch the Saddle on so it won't just Fall Off.  She thought it was pretty Clever, that when he was only Months Old, for him to figure out if he Inhaled deeply when I was strapping his Ass into a Car Seat, that when he Exhaled, the Safety Restraints would loosen enuf they'd either fall away or he could get out of them!!!  Little Houdini that he was.

So, I had to Tickle him as I was Strapping his Ass down in a Car Seat from then on out so he'd forget to Inhale enuf to puff himself up to Escape and be unrestrained bouncing around in the Vehicle!!!  *LOL*  He was very Clever at figuring out almost anything, the Autistic Factor really often comes with that kind of Brilliance in a Rain Man kinda way.  They figure out Angles and Trajectories very well, along with Complex things, very quickly and Master them.  While, the Simple Things like learning to Tie a Shoe, Button a Shirt, a Three Number Combination Locker at School, they can't do at all, ever.  But, give them a Computer, they'll hack past any Security Measures like it's a Fun Game.  Throw some things on the Ground and they can tell you how many there are at a glance, Memorize almost anything instantly too, it's Weird. 

The Son took to Writing some of his Lessons backwards in Grade School so his Teachers had to hold them up to a Mirror to Grade them.  Then he took to Writing them like a Crossword Puzzle, it was Fun and effortless for him to do something complex like that with ease.  Every Pinball Machine, Video Game and Midway Game took no effort at all for him to Master and get Highest Score on.  He'd Win so much Shit at the State Fairs it wasn't even a Challenge for him to get the Major Sized Prizes and then I'd have to schlep a Lifesized Gumby or an Enormous Red Dog around the whole damned State Fair only Minutes after arriving!!! 

His Dad had been a Trained and highly Skilled and Decorated USMC Sniper, he said the first time he took The Son Shooting he marveled at how accurate he could be with zero Training at all, even as a Child.  He could throw a Rock and clock anything just like David of the Bible aiming at Goliath.  He got into a LOT of trouble that way with Rock Throwing, he was too accurate if he was lobbing a Stone at something or someone!  *LOL*   And repetition is something Autistic People thrive upon!  In fact, don't ever change anything or they deteriorate into a spiral downwards about it.  Now that he's almost 40 he can do better if anything is Changed around him, but don't mess with anything he's put in Order that is his, he'll meltdown completely about it... even if done as a Joke.  When someone has a Mental Disability their Triggers can be complex.

I was gonna go out somewhere Today but the Weather took another Cold Turn and it looks like mebbe Rain again too, so, Nope, not going out in it.  So, it's been on again off again with the Schizo Weather, one Day glorious and the next it's inclement Weather, back and forth each Day it seems now.   I did make a short trek to the Dollar Store near the House to pick up what I didn't wanna pay full price for at the Grocery Store.  The Dollar Stores are now fewer than they used to be and nothing is just 99 Cents anymore either, it's $1.25 or higher now, but, still cheaper than regular price on some items.  They've probably increased prices more than other Retail Chains tho' going from 99 Cents an item to $1.25 or $1.50 now.  And you've got to Buy whatever when its still there, coz they may not stock it again.

Today I stocked up on what the Kiddos cannot Buy with Nutritional Assistance they receive, well, The Son and Mando receive.  Since, they can't buy Hygiene items and any Non-Food items they may Need and have no Money/Income to Buy.  The Daughter has been skittish to go thru the Process.   Being a Paranoid Schizophrenic with D.I.D. and Borderline Personality Disorder, it's so hard to convince her to Trust any Agencies.  Due to the Psychotic and Paranoid things she Imagines all Government Agencies are doing and are out to Get her... and, fuck, mebbe they now are, who knows for sure?  *LOL*  She could be Right, I dunno?  *Bwahahaha*  I don't Trust our Government anymore either really, and you don't have to be Psychotic to Distrust them either, they've broken Trust with the General Public.

So, things like Laundry Detergent, Shampoo & Conditioner, Deodorant, Toothpaste, Toothbrushes, Soap, Toilet Paper, Over-The-Counter Meds, Feminine Hygiene Products, etcetera, are all on my Dime to get for them or they wouldn't have any. And let's face it, some of those things are Essentials, aren't they?  Just as necessary as having Nutrition.  So, now we're all Stocked Up for the Month pretty much, and when the Guys get their Nutritional Assistance for January, they can Buy whatever we run out of for the rest of the Month or they might want for themselves that I didn't stock the Pantry or Freezers with.  Most of the time they'd rather I go do the Shopping for them coz neither Guy likes to go Shopping and aren't as frugal at stretching the amount they have to make it go further like I do.

Mando isn't Well right now, he's got a bad Ear Infection, a really bad one that might need him to go to an Urgent Care when I saw what's draining out of his Ear.  He has a seriously compromised Immune System with having Stage 4 Cancer, so cannot risk a bad Infection.  But like most Men, he's scared to go and find out if whatever it is might be worse than he thinks it is or is something he didn't consider it might be.  With his Health History that's understandable, Doctors told him he wouldn't Live this long.  They gave him an Expiration Date that's long past now... he shouldn't have Lived to see hardly any of 2025 according to his Specialists.  They quit Treating him coz there was no more they said they could do other than Palliative Care in a Hospice.  He wasn't ready to Receive that Prognosis yet.  And mebbe it's beneficial that he didn't, coz it wasn't accurate, he's still here long after they said he couldn't and wouldn't be.

He'd just gotten that Prognosis when our Neighbors Sylvia and Old Tom introduced him to our Family... and, the rest is History... he really 'Lives' here now in the 5th Wheel with The Daughter.  They help each other out since both of them are so Unwell, but in different ways.  And, he does so much around here for us in exchange for being allowed to be here most of the time.  He still has the Mobile Home that is his Home and his Relatives gave him to Live in when he couldn't Work anymore and was expected to Die.  But, he didn't hurry up and Die, and, he seemed to improve tremendously around our Family.  I told him his Cancer was an Explanation, not an Excuse, and you aren't Dead 'til God says so.  So quit Fixating on Dying and Concentrate on Living.  Got another Day when you Wake Up, Bonus, now, whaddya gonna DO with it?

He was wallowing a lot before that and Receiving too much Negative input that was fucking up the Quality of Life he might still have left to Live.  Robbing him of all Joy, now he finds reasons to be Joyful, so, to me, the Quality of Life left is far more important than the Quantity any of us has left.  He didn't want to Live Alone, being so ill, that is understandable and Scary.  Here, he has People, we Care, if he takes a Serious downturn we can call for Medical Assistance and Intervention.  When it is Time for him to go into Hospice, we can Help him with that Placement and still Visit with him until he transitions from Time into Eternity.   We're all gonna do it, but I don't have an Expiration Date Stamped on my Ass and neither does he or anyone else.  Plus, we're ALL Dying, Dates of the doing of it vary greatly with our Species.  I'm as Macabre as they come but I don't Fixate on Death, not mine, not yours either.

 So long as he and The Daughter have a Relationship that is working for them, it can be that way, it's up to them tho'.  I told them, no Drama, no fucking Headaches, or, he has to go, coz, he's not mine nor my Responsibility.  He 'Gets' that about me.  Dance Card is full enuf with whose mine and is my Responsibility.  *LOL*  But, you must get along and play well with others here, that's my Rule, or ya gotta make other Arrangements, even if you ARE Family.  This is our Forever Home and I'm trying to enjoy Retirement and my Golden Years, such that they just are and the Hand Dealt to The Man and I.  Once you're Grown, you only have a Seat at the Table here if you are Playing Along well, or, Be Well and Be Gone.  I'll send you away with my Blessings.  *Winks*

I can't tell Grown Ass Adults how to Live Life, but in MY Home I do have MY Rules and Regulations that have to be abided by or you just Need to Be somewhere else and find somewhere else to Live.  Then you can make your own Rules and Regulations as you see fit in your own Home, and mebbe I will Visit you from time to time and you can visit me.  *Smiles*  I don't mind Communal Living, never have, I find it to be mutually preferable if whoever is Sharing Space can get along and play well with one another and do what's Best for the whole Tribe of Inhabitants.  All for One and One for All has to be your Mindset when Communal Living or Multi-Generational Living, or, it just won't work out.  As an Old Hippie and with Parental Cultures that embraced that kind of Arrangement, I've done it for a long time successfully tho'.

I have been thinking lately of my BFF's Friend's Kiddos who can't be there with her as she's Dying tho', and I do feel that her Time is quite Close.  So, I Wished they could all be there Locally, even tho' several live in other States and have their Careers that they can't just put on Hold, and Children in School that can't just be pulled out.   This is one of her Older Daughters and one of the Grandkids {above} who hasn't been able to be there.  I hesitate to bring the subject up to her since I know it's a difficult and tormenting one, to be sure.  When my Mom was Dying I was in Arizona with all of my Caregiving and Commitments tying me here, and she was in Cali in a Hospice that my Brother found a wonderful final placement for her in. 

 I could only go visit Twice near the End, and couldn't be there at her Deathbed, I Wish I could have been.  Dad was here Locally, so, I could be there for him as he was Dying and until he did, at his Bedside.  Fortunately my Brother traveled to Arizona just in Time to be there Bedside too.   Not meaning or even trying to be Morbid, Two of our Kids, and Two of our Grandkids say that's why they want to be here, for The Man and I.  Especially since The Man's Health has continued on a downward Spiral, and particularly after I had that sudden Stroke last December, it Scared The Son, The Daughter, Princess T and The Young Prince.  I know those Four want to be here for us.  I have no expectations of other far flung Family being there, and that's Okay.  They don't have to be unless they want to be and can be.  If not, that's Fine too.  We all have a Sense of who will be there, and who probably won't.

My Dying Friend wants all her Kiddos to be there, which is understandable.   Her Youngest Daughter has told me so, but, I really don't think it will happen like that.  I don't think reality will line up with expectations, and that sometimes is how it just is, Sad as that may be.  If someone wasn't that Present in Life, really I have no expectations at all of them being Present at my End.  None, and I can accept that as the reality that it just is.   Having whose already here is Enough for The Man and I.   Everyone else can just be notified after the fact.  I personally don't like Attending Weddings or Funerals, never have, never will.  Yes, Attended a few, would have been Okay tho' if I could have NOT.  I know that's not a popular thing to admit, but I'm keeping it 100% with you. 

 

I dunno, has this Post already gone too Morbid for 2026?  *Bwahahahaha*  Okay, I'll try to Lighten Up a bit, Below is a Blast from the way back Past of a very tiny Princess T out in an area in the middle of Nowhere that used to have a big Stone Ranch that burnt down some Years later, Sadly.  It had been abandoned a very long time and I highly suspect the Fire was set by some Careless Traveler and it's so remote, I suspect it just had to burn out on it's own.  The Buildings were completely Lost.  Some of the Old Palms surrounding the Acreage got a bit Torched, but, Palms can weather a Fire relatively well due to their Bark and their vital growth Tissue is protected deep inside.  Insulated by Dead Leaves and Fibers and they lack vulnerable Vascular Cambium, allowing them to regrow even when the Trunk gets burned.   

I've seen Lazy Owners try to kill them off so they don't have the upkeep, which is minimal, and fail at it until they completely lob off the Top, which looks ridiculous and irks me no end.  Just cut the whole thing down why dont'cha!?  Anyway, I'm not only a Palm Tree Lover, but also a Tree Hugger of all Kinds from way back, and a Nature Preservationist at my very Core.  So I abhor those that destroy Mature Living Trees and Nature for no reason but their own convenience or laziness.  If you don't wanna Maintain something then just don't fucking have it in the first place.  I feel the same way about People who have Children or Pets and aren't up to the Job of taking Care of them appropriately tho'.  Don't have them then, you're not even worthy to have them IMO. 

 

 Yes, I'm opinionated and harsh about Nature Destroyers and the Environmentally Unconscious, Poor Parenting and Poor Pet Parenting.  I make no apologies for how I strongly Feel about it, even if it's controversial to some.  I don't Care.  *LOL*  It disturbed me that this Historic site got ruined by some Humans who it didn't even belong to.  And even if something does belong to you, just take Care of it, is that really too much to Ask?  I don't think it's a Big Ask.   Lazy and irresponsible folks are an Annoyance to me, I would say I actually can't Like someone whose that way.  We're not compatible and we can't be Friends.  *Ha ha ha*

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But, here in The Land Of Blog, we're among Friends, coz you all totally Rock... Dawn... The Bohemian