After my last Post, and probably the one before that too, you're probably thinking, so, that was a Crazy Post, Dawn? I know, I have not been in a good Head Space and it's been a major challenge for Days now. It might not get better or particularly Uplifting, so, hang on if you're a Regular Dear Reader. Physically I even feel a bit queasy to my Stomach, like something Bad is gonna happen, but, haven't had any particularly Visions as to what it might be, so it's got me very much on Edge, in a lot of ways. I'm very agitated about it coz I don't like foreboding feelings activated and not know why? I'm hoping it will soon just Pass and be Nothing, a false alarm??? I can't Sleep, but it's not coz of Mania, I know when it's that, it's not that. If something fucked up happens before this Publishes, well, mebbe I can then snap out of it and know what caused it?
I mean, there IS unprecedented fucked up bad shit happening every Day now, so, whatever this is I'm suspecting is gonna be really fucked up, that's all. I don't usually have intense Anxiety either, I guess this is what intense Anxiety might feel and be like tho'? I tried Sleeping, I've kinda either been up for Days or Sleeping too much, so it could just be a more intense than usual Bipolar Mixed Episode and some Psychotic Moods, who knows? Christmas was really Good, usually I wake up in a good enuf Mood to start any random Day, but this feels really Weird and different, so, I'm not Dealing with it particularly well. Blogging has been Helpful, even if the Posts have been Crazy. *LOL, so, indulge me Dear Readers*
The Son's Nutritional Assistance, which was Approved on Dec. 19th, has been on a Delay and make something else up that they say they Need, Loop. How about giving him a Short List of what is Required or Needed first, like at the Sit Down Interview he had? Rather than over Two Weeks now of asking for this, then that, then the 3rd, of Individual Requirements they forgot, probably intentionally, to say he has to provide, to get it pushed thru to where he actually GETS what was Approved over a Fortnite ago! He's been compliant, tells me he now Needs to Photograph and send them something else now... when will it end? I tell him, with The System, you never know? Sometimes I had to provide something 2-3 Times, same thing, coz they would lose it at least once or more times, and put the onus on you to provide it yet again!
I got to the place and in the habit of making every requirement they asked for in Triplicate, so I'd just already have the Extra Copies of it when they kept Losing shit for your Case. The Son is keeping it loaded in his Photo Archives of his Phone so he'll have it on hand if they now start asking for the same things again and again. But, so far, it's something different they Dream Up each time, about 2-3 Days apart, as to why everything is delayed and on Hold so he's not receiving the Nutritional Assistance loaded to the Card they sent him yet. Now, if you didn't have anything to Eat that somebody else was being charitable enuf to provide, you'd be one Hungry Motherfucker, wouldn't you? He's been out of Work and Laid Off for over Six Weeks now, if he didn't have us, he'd be Existing on the $1.99 in his Bank Account, literally. Coz no Unemployment has been Approved either yet.
We're floating everyone's Boat whose taking on Water now, so, it's been stressful to the Nth Degree to. I'm Hopeful that the Caseworkers they send for The Daughter can actually hook her up with some much needed Services? I remain Guardedly Optimistic, since, it might not be in their Wheelhouse or Bandwidth to do anything but Medical, I don't even know what they're assessing really? And how she behaves when they get here, that's a big Question Mark, depending on who they send and how Paranoid they make her? Are they Trained or Skilled enuf to assess or Interview the Seriously Mentally Ill and provide an extensive evaluation from Home Visits? Not sure. I know I have yet to get her in to an Office for these things, after the last 3 Hour Mental Health Eval Fiasco we were put thru when seeking Help for her.
Longer time Dear Readers might recall THAT one, where we saw Three different Psychologists/Therapists/Shrinks in a row at a Facility that provides Services. The one where they were Evaluating me too and I didn't even know it and hadn't gone there for Services or an Eval! *LMAOROTF* And at the end of the Gauntlet they told BOTH of us that WE were both too Unstable for what they could provide! And they suggested we come back after being Managed with Psyche Meds for about a YEAR! I told them neither of us tolerates Psychotropics Physically without dire side effects, so, that's not happening. And anyway, I'm not even here for Services, SHE is and I'm just The Mom here for Emotional Support and Advocacy! In hindsight it's a Funny Story now to tell, but, needless to say she received no Help, none, nada, sent back out "As Is", Good Luck with that and we Hope it all Works Out... Next??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!
The Irony of that being, she's not even half as Bad as she used to be when Younger, so if she's still too Unstable to Help... I'm rather Pessimistic at this juncture that they'll ever even TRY to provide Services to her? And I think this is precisely why you see the most Crazy Ones sitting on a Park Bench in the Rain all over the City and laying on the Sidewalks, with absolutely no Safety Net or Support Network being offered at all. If Family don't take them in and provide everything they will need forever, they're Screwed and Forsaken, completely. I don't have the Solutions to all of Societal Problems facing us, but it seems to me in the Richest Nation on Earth, we could do better. We do better for the Billionaires, making all kinds of ways for them to enrich themselves more, so there's no lack of Money to be had going around. It's distribution and Leadership not Caring one iota, that seems to be the Real Issue. *Eye Roll*
Oh, and mebbe Voters Caring less about Billionaires taking and wasting their Tax Dollars by the Billions and Trillions. While they Care instead, by what adept Political Propaganda insinuates and has convinced them of, like the real Villains, are the less Fortunate. Who could use some Services our Tax Dollars could provide, instead of giving Welfare and Socialism to the Elite, who don't Need it but Greedily Take it. Coz Too Much is never Enough for the obscenely Wealthy. Even tho' what Individual really requires Billions or Trillions... when we have other Humans in total Lack and being Forsaken, coz it is an inconvenience to extend even the most Basic Humanity towards them. I'd rather my Tax Dollars do Good, than to give any more of it to the Criminals in Power who already have way more than Enough for themselves, but are always Greedily Wanting for even More at our Expense.
But, if you Want and are Okay Sponsoring some Billionaires, you go right ahead and Keep on doing it. Coz they just Depend on folks like you to keep the $$$ Faucets pouring into their Coffers past overflowing. And, what have they done for YOU lately, since you've been such an excellent Sponsor of them becoming even Richer? Asking for a Friend. I'd Like to know. So, please, enlighten me if you will. I'll wait... Yawns, leans back, and looks at the Clock or my Watch, waiting for an Honest and Reasonable Answer... *Bwahahahaha* Sometimes they have none, you won't get an Answer when pressed to be Rational and to Critically Think on their own and for themselves. And not Parrot something from Faux News or some Meme, or Podcast Bro' whose ginned them up and worked them up all into a froth and lather.
I have had some Interesting Answers in the Past tho', Comical ones really. The Egocentricity and selfishness of most of those folks is quite evident. Well, the Poor and Disadvantaged or Vulnerable of Society can't do anything for ME... so, I'd rather 'Support' the Billionaires coz they could do something for ME. Oh, Okay then, like What? What have they done for YOU, explain and Humor me then? Usually these are folks not doing Well at all, and the Billionaires have done Fuck all for them. Except take and waste their Tax Dollars, and they know someone is wasting their Tax Dollars tho', and bitter as Hell about it too. So blaming and Scapegoating the Poor, or Immigrants, the Marginalized of Society, or someone of Ethnicity is easier and handier than The Truth and Facing Facts and Evidence to the contrary, I guess?
And the Irony can continue, when they're not doing well, bitter about it, relying on Friends and Family to see them thru and sustain them, and then fall back upon the Illusion and Fantasy that Billionaires are providing The Jobs!!!!! Oh, you mean like the one you don't have right now and can't get? THOSE Jobs? And, if these illusionary Jobs you speak of are so wonderful that you still will eagerly Sponsor Billionaires and manage to get one, what Wages are you then Earning and what Benefits are they providing their Employees? Yeah, thought so. I've had Friends and Family work for some of these Oligarchy Owned Companies, they exploit their Workforce shamelessly, more than any Employer who has less, but offers more to their Employees.
And now they will replace you with AI in a Heartbeat. Coz they can work a Non-Human harder and with no Benefits or Time Off necessary. Which is why the Oligarchy Loves the Tech Industries or Owns/Invests in them. Then they never have to Deal with the Serfs. Just keep snatching from whoever can still pay them Taxes they can Grift off of. Coz they sure as Fuck aren't paying their Taxes. And the IRS isn't going after a single one of them coz they Claim it would cost too much and take too long to, and they don't have the Resources or Manpower to, even tho' they know they're not Paying. How handy. And how very convenient for a Billionaire to Pay NO Taxes ever and get away with it forever, giving the Middle Finger to the rest of the Taxpaying Peons who do. While, ALSO Stealing and Grifting the Tax Dollars you Pay, it's a Win-Win for the Elites.
Sometimes I just have to get it all out of my System to release some of the Rage about it. *Ha ha ha* I know, Raging Against The Machine can feel rather impotent than militant, but, whatever, it's what I got left in me now. I've been pretty much Anti-Establishment even when they seemed to have some better ones Leading. Becoz I always thought getting into Wars was just a Money Maker and Power Grab for those in Powerful Positions, of any Country. Decisions that got those with no Power or not gonna get any of that Money, just Killed or Maimed. I don't feel any differently now, even tho' I come from Generations of Brave Men and Women who were willing to defend, fight and Die for Country and Freedom of anyone anywhere. But, I also knew enuf that those that send them aren't sending their Loved Ones usually. With some exceptions, like any President that was in Military Service themselves, or had Family that was.
I really Respect a Leader like the Leader of Ukraine tho'. The Passion and Love he has for County AND his People. is an example of what a Great Leader should be all about. We could use such a Person in our White House, but the Lineup usually looks like we're often given the Choice of who might not be the worst Leader than the other one? And for several Elections now, I've been weary of just choosing whose NOT Donnie Two Dolls no matter who they are. And 2028 seems pretty damned far off to me to imagine how much more fucked up and broken America could become by then as a functional Democracy, or even a semblance of a Democracy anymore??? Rant over now for this Post, I got decompressed enuf now to Carry On. *Winks* Is my overall Head Space better? Not really, it's lingering in a very heavy Space to Hold actually. But, I'll be Okay. So long as nobody Pushes me when I'm this close to The Edge. *Bwahahahaha*
I haven't heard much from The Young Prince, it sounded as tho' he and Allen are at least trying to make Nice with each other as the Towel is thrown in? I dunno, when Couples are thinking about breaking up, I try not to be or get involved or give unsolicited advice. I can still be pleasant with Allen coz I don't have to Live with him anymore, it was evident to me he needed his own Space and Place, some people do. As for their dynamic, only they really know how it's going and what's working or not working for them. You can't really advise another Grown Ass Adult how to have Relationships, that's a Job they have so sort out on their own at the end of the Day. I'd Wished Allen a very Merry Christmas and I meant it, I want him to find his Happiness and Be Well to enjoy it. I know The Young Prince would Like to work things out, but if that Horse is Dead, you Need to get off. You can't Resurrect what has Died and is Dead.
There were a lot of Tears shed and Emotions all over the place by The Grandson when he was here, he was up, down, and sideways about the Relationship failing. Some Calls back and forth went well, many didn't and reminded him of why they're where they now are Relationally. He did ask my Advice and he received it, since it was Solicited. I've given Friends and Family similar Advice if Solicited and I knew the Relationships they were in had gone all Bad and were probably no longer a Safe Space to Hold. The decision must be their own tho', no matter how much Sage Advice is given. Sometimes leaving is easy, sometimes it's not. Sometimes you can maintain contact, sometimes it should be completely severed. You can Move On and often you just should.
A Cute Blast From The Past of Princess T... who this Morning took her Christmas Tree down and then realized her Mom, Uncle and Mando had burnt the Storage Box for it up in the Firepit!!! Oh No, it's a very big Tree so that was a Problem, so, she came to The Fixer for a Solution. *LOL and Winks* I Solved it in moments, sometimes things just work out as a Solution in a way that is quite Surreal and handy just in Time. Remember I'd Cleared out several Banana Boxes filled with Inventory out of the She Shed in one Corner of it very recently? Well, that just HAPPENED to be the exact amount of Space required to Store said dismantled large Tree now, Ta-Da!!! *Whew* Problem Solved. That Box hadn't been in good Shape anyway and the Kiddos had been ridding the Back Patio of unnecessary or damaged Boxes and such. So, I'm not Mad the Box is gone really. The Box for mine is still out there and in good enuf Shape it shouldn't get lit up. *Ha ha ha*
In the 1940's, Phoenix had Artist Commissioned Street Lights shaped like Saguaro Cactus by Reg Manning. I wonder what happened to them and why they never Preserved them? Of coarse Phoenix always has been horrible about Preservation efforts. We used to have a slew of fabulous Victorian Mansions built by the Original Elite, of which there were many, that could have provided Heritage Tourism galore. But they razed them all to put up ugly Modern Buildings that don't attract any Tourism. Citizens have had to Petition and have Protests about them razing important Structures, including some built by Icons like Frank Lloyd Wright!! Sometimes the Citizens have had to collect enuf Donations to Save such Structures, so that Greedy Developers don't buy them and destroy them instead. Developers and Investors generally don't Care about History or Community, it's all a Commodity to them to be exploited and profited from.
The Jaycee Cactus Light was eventually Preserved and Restored to a Park in Phoenix, perhaps the only one? I'm glad at least One was Salvaged and Rescued to be Saved for Future Generations to see, enjoy and know the History of. It's thru the efforts of the Phoenix JC's that it wasn't Lost Forever and I suspect got it's new Name to show recognition for their efforts at Preservation of Iconic Phoenix's Past. But you do wonder why something like this was ever taken down in the first place? Or, mebbe that's just me musing as to why shit like that has to ever happen?
That One pictured used to sit outside the Historic Westward Ho Hotel, and it's still standing and was one of the first Air Conditioned Hotels and the Tallest Building in Phoenix for 32 Years. It was a First Class Hotel that charged $2 a Night in 1927. Marilyn Monroe, Clark Gable and John Wayne were a few of it's Famous Guests. In 1980 it Closed as a Luxurious Hotel and was converted into Low Income Housing. Low Income Seniors and people with Disabilities still now occupy it, preserving it's Legacy as a Landmark. Otherwise, pretty sure the City would have razed it regardless of Historic Significance.
I just spent Three and a Half Hours with The Son at DES about his Nutritional Assistance not being Activated after it was Approved way back on the 19th of December. It's the 29th of December in Real Time, so since nobody answers their Phones anymore and he was getting Three different conflicting reasons for why the Card they'd Issued wasn't Working by Voicemail... first saying it was Approved and Active... then saying it was still Pending Approval... then saying it had been Reported Lost, Damaged or Stolen... none of which was Accurate... we decided to go in Person AGAIN to their Office. Long waits, lots of angry people there coz often they wait Hours and then still aren't Helped by Staff, so it's quite the Spectacle and Experience.
Lots of Applicants are Disabled, Old, or have Disabled Children, or a lot of Children... Hungry ones, fussing and unable to be comforted. We were No. 88 upon Arrival and they were at about No. 49, but they don't always call Numbers in Sequence either, so it's like playing BINGO or The Lottery. Well, Thankfully, when we finally got Called, the Caseworker found the problem. They'd Issued the Card in Person on the 19th, then sent him a Card by Mail too, but then realized the faux pas and Cancelled the Mailed One. Which, we never received, but, that's the one they'd Activated in Error, not the one they gave him in Person and told him was Active immediately. Why they sent him a separate Card by Mail with a completely different Card Number is a complete Mystery and Administrative Error.
If we hadn't of gone in he'd of never had the Card he has Activated!!! So, the Caseworker Activated the Card he now has in Hand, and we were so relieved it was something they could fix right then and there coz it was his December Benefits and December is just about over. He will have to re-qualify for January Benefits all over again and we Hope it goes smoother??? You don't wanna spend 4-5 Hours of your Life every Month doing this over and over and over again. Then I got Home and Princess T said she had to throw out her Mattress and needs a new one. It was an Older Mattress, so, it was about Time to replace it, overdue in fact. So, we'll be Mattress Shopping after she gets off Work Tomorrow I guess. Don't have it in me to do that Today now, after the DES Ordeal.
I can no longer get into our E-Mail Account, my Saved Password which has always worked just fine for Decades, now is saying it's an incorrect one, WTF?! I'm so fed up with E-Mail anyway, and our Provider for it doesn't have any Humans manning their Phones and tells you to send them an E-Mail if you're experiencing problems!!! Stupid Bots, coz the Option you choose for your "Problem" is that you can't fucking access your E-Mail Account, so how CAN you send them a fucking E-Mail, and, you don't get other Options??? I don't really even want E-Mail anymore, too many that aren't relevant and are Spam to Wade thru incessantly, so I don't have the time nor patience to mess with it anymore anyway. The only relevant necessity was our Irrigation Rotation Notifications and Goodwill Monthly Coupons.
So, I called SRP and told them my Problem, they're sending me the 2026 entire Rotation for the coming Year by regular Mail and I can pin it up by our Calendar, works for me. As for the Goodwill, I'll find a Friend who has the Coupon Saved to their Phone that they took a Screenshot of and just Photograph it too rather than relying on Goodwill sending me mine. Or just shop there only on Sundays and Tuesdays when you get Military and Senior Discounts there. Any other place now that asks me for our E-Mail, I'll just tell them I no longer have one that's Active. I'm just not messing with trying to rectify this Problem the Provider has suddenly Created that makes no sense. I know a lot of people also shutting down a lot of their Social Media Accounts and E-Mail Accounts too, we just are fed up with most of it. Simplifies Life just not to have it. Too much of a Pain in the Ass to.
I'm going back to the Basics and if nobody Likes that, too bad, don't Care. With not being in the best Head Space still, I think I handled everything Today pretty well actually. *Winks* We didn't want any of 2025's Problems bleeding into the start of 2026. I think 2026 will have enuf Problems of it's own frankly. I'm Guardedly Optimistic some Solutions might improve things, if and when anyone comes up with some, that is. Right now, I'm not seeing a push in that direction. Many Stations are recapping 2025, there was a LOT to Unpack, wasn't there? *Eye Roll* And we still have so much Baggage, not all of it Unpacked.
Princess T made me a List to do her Grocery Shopping for her, being the only one with Money this close to EOM to still have a Budget for it. The Son came with me to finally use some of his December Nutritional Assistance now that his Card was Activated after the lengthy delay since his Approval on the 19th. So, he got a lot of Staples for the House that we were completely out of and use all of the time foodwise. And we got a couple of belated Christmas Cards from Family and Friends, my Oldest BIL Surprising us with a generous Cash Gift in his. He and his Wife are the only one of The Man's Siblings that ever did Gifting, it's a large Family and my understanding was that growing up, they didn't do it due to having so many, and it was never an expectation. So, it was a nice Surprise.
New Year, same Struggles for 2026 are expected I think, the BIL had talked about it all during his recent Visit around Thanksgiving, even tho' he's doing well, he knows many aren't. He's recently Widowed in 2025 and has only One Grown Daughter and Two Grandchildren. All doing very well since his Daughter Married a High Ranking Officer whose a Career Military Man and has done a lot of Work for the Pentagon. They live on the same Street as he does in Texas, where he Winters, he has a Home in Alaska still too. His Heart is in Alaska but in his advanced Years, Texas is just Safer for him to be due to how remote his Property in Alaska is and how harsh the Climate can be there most of the Year. He used to Fly, but now is too Old so Sold his Plane, but he still Drives across Country. For his Age he's in good Shape and doesn't look his Age.
In contrast The Man and their Youngest Brother are in Bad Shape compared to their Older Brother. And their Older Sister Passed several Years ago. Their Younger Sister was just a Kid after all the other Siblings were Grown, so she's considerably Younger and doing Well. We do always hear from every Sibling of his each Christmas to get an Update on how everyone is doing. My Brother always Calls me during every Special Occasion too and keeps in Touch with me via Social Media more often, as do most Family that don't live Locally. Our Oldest Daughter is the exception, but her Kiddos are pretty good about Social Media Postings and Updates about how they're doing and Sharing Pixs. I try to do the same, and keep current on the Ole' Blog too. Thanks for your continued Blog Support as a Community my Friends.
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Happy New Year from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
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