New Year's Day Morning

 

Caregiving is not for the faint of Heart, you never know what you'll be Dealing with next?  Sometimes now The Man is prone to doing something just to be annoying and for the Attention, especially if I'm trying to do something else and he's not my primary focus.  Something like Blogging, per se.  *Eye Roll*  I was here early after dropping the Grandchild off at Work, happily Blogging away.  He gets up, sits in his Media Chair behind me breathing so hard you'd of thunk he just ran a fucking Marathon!  Honey, why are you so out of Breath, I finally ask, as he got louder about taking a Breath?!

I'm not Breathing hard, he Lies, and I call him out about it and said, Yes, you ARE, now Stop it before you hyperventilate!  He immediately ceases and is breathing now quietly and normally, so it was all unnecessary and dramatically faked.  *Eye Roll*  Now that he wasn't getting desired Attention, or breathing so hard he passed out, he went back to Bed and promptly fell back Asleep.   Coz I was not aborting a nice Morning Blog to Deal with Childish shenanigans to start my New Year's Eve Day.  I just would have ended up irritated and agitated for no good reason otherwise.  *Winks*  Patience isn't one of my Virtues in Dealing with anyone's nonsense.  {Above are some of my Vintage Twizzle Stick Collection}   I don't drink but I do like Cocktail Twizzle Sticks and Collecting them. 

I will be going to The Gym again this Morning for not only an End of Year Workout, but to show that Nice Manageress the Paperwork, Cards and Codes that Humana gave me, for their Silver Sneakers Benefits provided, effective on January 1st.   It's December 31st so I'll have to go in again on the 1st to have them be able to Transition me, if that is even possible, but she wanted to see which Tier of Silver Sneakers they're providing on the Advantage Plan I Qualified for?  I really don't know, I just know it's the one Humana set up specifically for the Needs of Military Dependents and had a decent array of what they cover that TriCare For Life does not, and is our Secondary Insurer thru the Military.

Even with Two Insurances, you often still pay Out of Pocket or don't Qualify for what is Accepted at various places you'd go for your Health.  I would prefer a National Health Program like most 1st World other Countries have had for Decades.   That provide Healthcare to their Citizens at No Cost and don't have an Ability To Pay Barrier if you wouldn't or couldn't afford the Care.  I've been in some of those Countries and they even treated an American or other Visitor of their Country, if you got Sick or injured while there. 

 My Mom would always take me to one of their Hospitals rather than the Base Hospitals when I was a Kid and we were Stationed Abroad, coz, I received better Care than our Military Hospitals provided.  She gave Birth to my Brother and I while Abroad and in a Local Hospital.   Base Hospitals weren't always bad ones, they had good ones, depending upon that Location, but now the one at the Base here was Closed down.  And Google says this about the Why: 

Military hospitals are closing or consolidating primarily due to post-Cold War force reductions, a strategic shift to focus on Military Readiness {Training for Combat}.  And a major DOD reorganization under the DHA {Defense Health Agency} to integrate care.  Pushing more Beneficiaries {Retirees & their Families, ie: Us} into Civilian Tricare Networks.  The goal is to streamline operations, standardize care, and ensure Medical Personnel maintain critical Combat Skills by treating Active Duty Troops, rather than relying on large, less-utilized {eye roll coz they're VERY utilized in Truth} Facilities for Non-Active Duty Care.

My problem with that is Twofold:  First, Contractually when you Enlisted you were Promised Free Healthcare for Life for you and your Dependents even in Retirement as part of your Earned Benefits if you made the Military your Career and Retired from it.  Secondly, not every Civilian sector Network accepts Tricare Recipients, in fact, the majority don't, coz, they claim they don't get Paid by the Federal Government for Services rendered and often get stiffed when they do, getting a small fraction of what is owed, so, many just won't take you on as a Patient.  And the Military and Government has pretty much said to their Retirees, you don't matter anymore, disposable assets.  For those really Disabled by their Military Service, you and your Families Caring for you, go get Sponsored like a 3rd World Child by some Civilian funded Charity like Wounded Warriors Project!

  And, your Out Of Pocket expenses can be prohibitive and your Caregiving won't come with a Salary to your Caregivers, when, you should have an EARNED Benefit that was Contractually Promised that should cover it all, but now, doesn't.  Basically they Screwed Over their Veterans and Families who fulfilled their end of the Contractual Agreements, since they just chose to cease Honoring their end of the Contractual Agreements made to them.  And the Base Clinics, won't accept anyone over a certain Age either, even prior to when you'd Qualify for Medicare to pick you up.  And they keep breaking Promises and eroding Earned Benefits all of the time, which is why most Young People aren't making the Military a Career.

Anyway, we'll see how things go on Humana's Advantage Plans by Medicare?  And if this Administration keeps messing with Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security... and probably Grifting and Skimming the Funds for their own enrichment, we might eventually not even have any of that left when the Well runs dry from being Stolen from by the Criminals in Power?   Trusting Foxes to be in charge of and in the Henhouse means you will end up with Dead Chickens, that's my best Analogy of what is happening in Government and the White House right now.  Today's Mini Rant now over.  *LOL*  When Caregiving gets to me I Need to Vent a bit about how Families doing it have been Forgotten and become Invisible.  And I'm that very Loud Invisible Caregiver that won't Shut Up and Behave.  Not fading into the Woodwork Quietly or Obediently, so as not to make Waves or make folks feel uncomfortable.  *Winks*

What can I say, I Believe in Sharing and Spreading the Endless Joys of Caregiving and who it impacts directly when I do, matters not to me.  *Smiles Wickedly*  I remember when I had Cases at both the VA and at DES for The Man and for The G-Kid Force, which became a Full Time Unpaid Job.  If I wasn't gonna get Services Needed, and if any of the Staff became my Barriers to Solutions required, well, I was gonna make those specific Barriers Working at all those Agencies as uncomfortable, miserable and Stressed Out as possible. 

 Having to Deal with me incessantly, coz, I wasn't going away and they'd given me Nothing left to Lose, so, now it was On.  I'm Nice until and unless someone gives me a reason NOT to be and go Dark Dawn on them.  Welcome to My World, now we're truly All In It Together.  They did not Like being In It With Me at all.  Often, to make me go away they'd provide something, which, was always better than nothing... so, Worked for me.  I never get flustered or even raise my Voice, I am Calm and Calculated as I go Mental, but sometimes it has required them to call Security.  The VA always has Big Cute Muscular Stud Muffin Security, but not a good Look for them manhandling an Old Career Military Dependent Wife defending her Disabled highly Decorated War Hero.  *Winks* 

  This is Why The Son asked me to go with him to handle his DES "Problem" rather than Mando.  When they had not been able to have a Solution and the Problem Fixed by going themselves numerous times, they weren't Convincing enuf.  Time to let the Dogs Out.  *Smiles*  I must say the Two Caseworkers we ended up with were God Sent Angels, coz he said he hadn't had such Nice ones before, so bringing me seemed to be Charmed and like a Lucky Talisman. *Smiles*  Well, my Lord knows when Devils are put in my Path what's gonna happen I guess, so He better handle it better for everyone's sakes, I dunno?   Coz I will go quite scarily Pre-Demonic myself, to appropriately Deal with any Minor Devils or lowly Demons Spawn sent to Square Off with me.  It can be Amusing for me and I'll make it Fun, for me anyway.  *Bwahahaha*

Didn't matter to me that the last Five folks in front of us with the exact same Problem as we were having had to leave without their Solution.  I feel like being the First has it's thrill and taste of Victory.   The Son had sat there saying, "Mom, what IS gonna happen when we get up there if they do us like they just did all of them?"  He was concerned, but the Security at DES look like Mall Cops compared to the Security at the VA, so I'm not the least bit Intimidated or deterred.   There had been some Scrappers from Da Hood come in wearing their Bonnets and Pajamas, being as Ghetto as you can get.  Who did cause quite an Entertaining Scene... rightly so, they were being jerked around and NOT being Helped at all after Hours of waiting to be Helped and with Disabled small Kids in tow.  So, it was questionable to The Son if I would be similarly dissuaded to just Exit without our Solution?   

Fortunately God Smiled favorably upon us and tho' it was 3.5 Hours of Patience and Virtue we had to exercise waiting for our Turn, it wasn't in Vain.   So we got to leave Happy and with the Joy of Jesus still in our Hearts.  *Smiles*  Yes, it's just for a bit over $200 of Groceries for him to be able to buy for himself a Month while he has no Income or way to Support himself now whatsoever.   But that's important when there's only $1.99 left to your Name and you're living with your Crazy Old Mom on your Parent's Fixed Income Pensions/Disability Income, whose also now Supporting the rest of the Family in Crisis, Three Generations worth.   So, he knows I could Snap at any Minute, so giving me any old Excuse will do and he knows it and might as well use it to his Advantage, why not?

I just got back from my Workout at The Gym, boy do I feel better when I've had a good Workout to start my Day!   Since that is the case I met with Manager Crystal again, she tried to push our transition thru, but it wouldn't do it Today, she'll try again Tomorrow.  I'm meeting with her Tomorrow Morning too, since, if it won't push thru on the Tiers our new Provider has thru Medicare Advantage, she's willing to work a Deal out with me for a reduced Paid Senior Membership with no Age Restrictions imposed either, that is affordable for me.  The Man will drop, but, he doesn't use his Membership really and it's more difficult for me to have a proper Workout with him coming along and not wanting to actually Work Out.

So, having an Option that will work, if my Tier of Silver Sneakers won't, made me Happy coz I don't wanna look for another Gym, I like this one a lot.  It's one of the few things I do FOR Myself that is beneficial to keep me Fit, Healthy and Strong enuf to keep doing the Caregiving Duties vital to being able to take care of The Man, lift him and such.  I can't do that in a weakened or unhealthy state.  Also, the alternative to being Healthy is being Unhealthy, which is much, much, more expensive than a Gym Membership, any way you cut it.  It's a Pay now or Pay more later scenario if you don't take Care of the Temple that is our Bodies and Minds and Invest in Maintaining it appropriately.

If I end up with a Paid Membership with no Age related Time Restrictions imposed anymore, I can adjust my Workouts.   Back to either very early Mornings after dropping the Grandchild off at Work... or late in the Evenings when I tuck The Man in to Bed for the Night.  I preferred Working Out at unusual Hours when The Gym isn't as busy and I don't have to wait to use any of the Equipment.  It's more Tranquil with less People, especially Young Families.   I don't mind Young Families, if they're up to Parenting appropriately, but, some really aren't up to the Job.  

 And if I'm doing something to Center myself, I just don't want to Deal with the Chaos of the Littles, most not even wanting to be at a Gym, so can become fussy, which is understandable.  They have a Daycare there that is excellent tho', I used it when The G-Kid Force were little up 'til The Young Prince became too Old to go to the Children's Section.   You could use it 'til your Kiddos were 13 and it was no extra Cost and they gave them Physically Beneficial Activities to Work Out at their Age levels, it was great and my Kiddos Loved going.  But, once The Grandson was 13, it wasn't like he wanted to Work Out with his Grandparents.  *Smiles*  And his Sister didn't want to attend without her Big Brother, she did everything only if he did it too. 

I'd rather do my Workouts with no Kids or The Man in tow, then I can concentrate on doing what I Need and Want to do without being in Caregiver Mode at all.   A Middle Aged Hispanic Man just asked if he could take Princess T's Old Mattress.  And he didn't make a mess of the other Yard Debris Bags and Boxes filled from the Yardwork we'd done, so, didn't mind at all.  Less to go to a Landfill and if someone could use it to replace a Mattress they have or don't have, I'm glad.  You just can't Donate used Mattresses and we try to replace ours at appropriate times and when we can afford to upgrade them.  I realize for some Families, that might be impossible tho'.   Most of what we put Curbside for Bulk Garbage gets taken by those who Need or could use it.

They closed early where Princess T works and she's off and getting Holiday Pay for Tomorrow.  But, found but the Store is Open, but only the Front Staff are working, they're mostly part time.  I asked if she had anything Planned for Tonight, but she doesn't and said she's not going to stay up 'til Midnight either.  She's tired and if you don't drink then usually New Years Eve is too much drunken revelry and she doesn't want to be around any of that, I don't blame her, I don't either.   We usually don't make Plans for New Year's Eve, I don't wanna be on the Road, too many impaired Drivers.  And we haven't been to any House Parties in a long while, tho' we have been invited to some and have Opted Out.  It's just not something we do now.

It is now the 1st Day of the New Year, Everyone but Princess T was Home for New Year's by Midnight!!!   Surprised me that The Son, The Daughter and Mando wanted to be here to bring in the New Year with us Old Folks.   The Man was Sleeping at Midnight but our Community had so many Fireworks it was more than on the 4th of July and quite a Display and eventually woke him up!!!  We stood Outside and watched it for a long time, coz it was nice that Evening, the Bad Weather didn't move in until Today with the Rain and Colder Temperatures.  I was also Surprised that even my Alcoholic Kiddos didn't get drunk on New Years Eve, they chose not to!!!  Very Proud of that decision they made.   

 

This New Year's Day Morning I went to The Gym early, our Humana Codes still didn't give us the Tier needed to transition to Silver Sneakers Membership Paid by Medicare.  With all the changes to Medicare due to Federal Cuts and such, I'm just Thankful our Humana Advantage Plan offered Rebates and such that made it so I could go ahead and Pay for the Special Senior Membership Crystal offered me instead.  And now I can attend anytime I want to, no Age related Restrictions imposed, which will work out so much better for me.  I prefer to go to The Gym either very Early or very Late instead.  So, after meeting with Crystal and setting the Membership Update up, I could do my Workout real early before any of the Seniors flood in to use the same equipment I use.  Paying for that seemed worth it when she gave me Options that were affordable to me, with no Contract, Month to Month, in case Health or Circumstances Change.

 

The Man didn't mind giving up his Gym Membership.  He acknowledged he hasn't been using it and the last time I took him, he'd taken to Wandering and I don't want him getting Lost.  I don't want him getting Confused and possibly Wandering out the Doors and needing a Silver Alert becoz I was trying to Work Out and it's not the duty of the Staff to Babysit him for me.  And we had talked it over whether I should give up mine too if Medicare isn't paying for it?   Due to the Tiered limitations of the Advantage Plan offered to us, that had to be a replacement when we were dropped by the other Provider and given no choice but to accept a Change and get picked up by someone who would accept us and meet us at our Point of Need and existing Conditions.   He knew I like going to The Gym and it's what I do for myself to keep fit and maintain Strength for Caregiving.   So he encouraged me to just buy into what they were offering me at a Discount.

I went in to the Antique Mall to tidy up my Space for the Big Sale going on Today for New Years.   I Won 20% Off on the Cookie Toss, I always get it in the 20% Circle, I'm good at Midway Games, I have good Hand/Eye Coordination for them.   So, I bought another Anna Lee Christmas Stocking Baby that is large sized and is the Mate to the one I bought from that Vendor before Christmas.  And I bought another rolling Canvas Industrial Mail Cart that we use for Laundry.  The Vendor I got that from never gives Discounts, but has Primo Merch, so I took advantage of getting 20% Off with the Sale going on.  I wanted to get more Vintage Knee Hugger Elves from my Fav Vendor but they were Sold Out.

So this is my Anna Lee Stocking Child and I got Ten Bucks Off the Price.   These came in a Pair and I had the other one I bought from the Vendor before Christmas, she didn't even have this one in Inventory before Christmas tho'.   She has a lot of the rarer Anna Lee Large Collectibles, these Stocking Children are from the early 1990's.  Her Pricing is Fair even when it's not a Sale and she will work with you on Offers too, so I've bought from this Vendor often.  I also got a Vintage Starbucks Tumbler Collectible with the Two Tailed Mermaid for only $4 and some Scrabble Tile Garden Stakes for only $2 each... but I'd built up a Store Credit that ended up Paying for all those.  It was very busy, and my Showroom was messy, so I tidied that up, but I'd had excellent Sales Post-Christmas.  Even from my Locked Case and more expensive Merch is Selling now.

So, it was good news to know Sales are Stronger, we Needed that, the Holidays had been very Soft with Sales.   I was able to see many of my Vendor Friends and Paid Staff Friends while there, everyone wishing each other a Happy New Year.   Shoppers were receiving the Sale well and Buying a lot.  It was encouraging.  It will mean that for this Pay Period, which ends on Saturday, I should get a nice Check again.  We had to cancel the Outdoor Plans we'd made for Today since the Weather took an inclement turn and is too Wet and Cold now.  We've had Schizo Weather, Hot and Sunny and then Wet and Cold, with huge spreads in temperatures.  

It was good to have Good News for a Change tho' and some things going Right.   The Young Prince sent me a bunch of Selfies, he usually doesn't do Pixs, so I appreciated that, he did one for each of his Alters, which, was Interesting.  I know each is a distinctive Individual all wrapped up in One Body that 'they' Share, those with D.I.D. are quite complex.  It used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder and many with Schizophrenia and/or Borderline Personality Disorder, also have it.  He and his Mom have it, she has Four distinctive Alters, he has Seven... very fractured and depending on which is Dominant, you have to treat the Relationship you have with each as if it is a completely different Individual Person, becoz, it is.

That Velvet Peacock Top used to be mine... he liked it and now I think it is in New Mexico, which is Fine.  *LOL*  He's always worn a lot of my Clothes and so I've Shared my Wardrobe so long as he doesn't make any of it into an Art Project.  *Smiles*   This is the Alter I 'Know' best and is and has been most Dominant while in my Presence.  Very easy to have Relationship with this one and is one that doesn't mind me still referring to Male Pronouns and being my GrandSON.   And the Countenance of 'His' Face in this one appears more like The Young Prince to me.  I do think he tries very hard to keep this Alter Dominant for my sake when we're around one another.

Some are Feminine Alters and present as Female, which, has always been, ever since very early Childhood, perhaps even since Age Two.  So I'm used to it, totally and unconditionally Love and Accept each facet of 'their' Personalities and Gender Identification.  That said, the Feminine ones can be the most volatile and hardest to have smooth Relationship with.  I've had to Square Off with some of "The Ladies", it's difficult.  I'd say they're the ones responsible for being Institutionalized the most, and more frequently when Dominant.  That's a Bitch that will Cut you, even while looking less Threatening than a Male.  The Male Alters are much more Laid Back and get along and Play well with others, which, is Interesting to me, but, not Surprising.  I usually find Females more Complex than Males to have Smooth Relationships with, so, it makes Sense to me.

The one he calls "Greed" {Middle Selfie Above}, is the one I remember being particularly Dominant during Puberty and thruout his Teens, and got into a LOT of Trouble.  He even made me a piece of his Art representing that Alter, coz that was the one he knew I had the roughest time with Raising him, but Loved and Supported anyway, and stood beside during his very turbulent Youth.  Back when the Adoption Board told me he was Unadoptable, and that on their Rating Scale of 1-4, with 4 being the hardest Children to find any Placement for, if they had a 5... he'd be Rated a 5!  *LOL but they weren't kidding!!!*  That was quite The Wild Child even tho' he looked like Butter wouldn't melt in his Mouth. Greed looked benign, so people always underestimated how challenging it could be around that one.   You can see the new Tattoo he let his Dad's New Wife give him on his Chest on the bottom Alter's Pix directly above.   I'm glad it turned out the way he liked it since it's something ya gotta Live with one you get one. 

I'm glad 'they' are all Living their Best and most Authentic Life, I Support that and Advocate for that.  But I also know the risks posed in the doing of that, around intolerance within Society and especially around the most Transphobic in Society who want to vilify that Community.   A Transgender Child will always have a lot more misunderstanding and intolerance with extreme prejudices in our Society.  Treating someone whose very different inhumanely is rampant these days.   Like I've said before, I always wondered why Society at Large Feared the Witches MORE than they did those that Burnt them Alive?   People, and Society At Large, can be really conflicted about whose the real Devils and Villains within their midst.

Eli the Cat is upset coz his Human has been spending more time with her Boyfriend than with him here, so, he's not a Happy Cat.  I'm a poor replacement for her and he's not having it.  He likes me to brush him and that soothes him for a little while, but, he wants his Human Mommy.  And he's wailing pitifully in the Song of his People.  *Le Sigh*  Pretty sure he's going to do something dastardly to some of her things, in defiance and protest about it.  *LOL*   I'm feeling like a Sloth now after a Morning of being so Motivated I did a Workout at The Gym before 9:00 a.m.!!!  It began Raining and then I lost all Interest in whatever else we'd planned to do for the Day, since, being Wet AND Cold is not my Desired State of Being at all.  Plus, these Dreadlocks take ages to Dry out if they get sopping Wet and I'd JUST dried them out from the Shower I took at The Gym this Morning!

 

I am Hungry and being too Lazy to Cook anything for myself coz I was being fussy about what The Daughter was Cooking for the rest of them.  Usually I'm not a fussy Eater either, but I just wasn't feelin' what the rest of them were eager to have, that's all.  Being on Ozempic my Appetite can be iffy even when it's something I really, really Like!  But, I am losing Weight as a Bonus to taking it, and it's noticeable now and it's Stabilized the Diabetes, which is why I was switched to it.  My A1C now being in the 6 Range, which was the Goal we easily attained once I was on that Med.  The long-term Goal of coarse is to get to about  157-160 Lbs. and not less than that, or I'd look like a Frail little Old Lady, which is not the Desired Look I'm going for either.  *Smiles*  I've Weighed, as a Younger Adult, anywhere from 98 Lbs. to 130, before I got Old, needed all my Lady Plumbing removed, and gained all that Weight... but on Old Me, it wouldn't look as good now to be that Thin and Tiny.

So, I decided 157-160 would be my Ideal Weight at this Season of Life and probably would eliminate the Dreaded Diabetes and get me off a lot of expensive Medication.  So, it would be good for Health and Wealth to turn all that around, No?  *Winks*  That's my rationale now for deciding I'll attend The Gym daily now in 2026, since I no longer have Time Restrictions hindering me with the New Paid-By-Me Membership, instead of Medicare Paying for it, and I'd be back Home before The Man even wakes up.   We got our Letters saying how much our Social Security and Pensions have been adjusted for COLA... yet, our Mortgage Company also sent a Letter saying how much our Taxes increased on our Property, so... the Mortgage Payment shall go up effective February too... dammit!  The Govt. gives with one Hand and takes it away with the other, don't they?!

When I had Paid Off Properties I preferred it, of coarse.  But that was back then and this is now, so, Que Sera Sera and all that.  Shit happens, Life happens.   The Rain eventually stopped but then The Man didn't wanna go out anymore and do what we'd Planned to do earlier.  I don't blame him, once you sit around doing Nothing for a while during any given Day, it feels preferable now.  *Bwahahahaha*  I did enuf between Sunup and Noon to make up for doing fuck all after the Afternoon rolled in anyway.  And I don't feel bad about it either, being Slothful is something I used to have trouble Being, now, not so much.  *Winks*  I could get used to it in fact.  I'm even considering keeping Christmas up longer this Month than I'd originally decided to, fuck it, why not?  I can extend Holidays really well... it's a Super Power of sorts to linger and languish in every Holiday for Super Human amounts of Time.  *LOL*

Now I'm gonna trawl some Blogs and Lurk at many, as is my Custom...  And close by saying I Wish I had as much Hair as my Grandson, The Young Prince, {see Below}, who has more than most people even when he's Shaved 3/4 of it off and just kept a thick Mohawk worth of it long!!!   His Braid with only 1/4 of his Hair, is thicker than ALL of mine WITH Phat and Heavy Dreadlocks!!!

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Happy New Year my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian