Stay In Your Own Lane

 It was SO busy at Work on Sunday Night and Sales all around were quite Strong.  I did have an Embarrassing and Humiliating moment where I had to confront a Co-Worker tho'.  She was filling in for someone else and strayed out of her Lane, Embarrassing me in front of a Customer and her Son and worse, Offending them rudely!!!   She's a Friend of mine on a Social level, but, on a Work level she often seems to ignore boundaries and it was NOT Okay.  She needed to know that and I intended to Square Off Privately afterwards and immediately. 

 I don't let even a Friend slide on inappropriate behavior in Public with or around me.  She and I haven't been close for a while tho', mostly due to her Political Views... no speculation needed.  *Winks*  She recently became a Widow and I do think it's negatively affected her Mood and projection of it.  She's well off, but having to liquidate Assets and seems bitter about it.  She was Married to a Wealthy Man, they have Three paid off Homes and she's having to Sell off her favorite one in Washington State.  It's a big load to do everything on her own, I Get it.  I get the sense she's stressed out and Future Plans are all upended now and she's floundering.  So, I try to take some of that into consideration.  Under Pressure people can have some Ugly shit spill out of them.

They had bought a fabulous Contemporary large 3rd Home in a big Retirement Community they were supposed to enjoy the rest of their Retirement in.  They bought it from my Realtor in fact, it's fabulous, but, they've never lived in it.  Now, she probably won't, as she's using it to store what was in the Washington Property she's liquidating.  And well, the Husband is deceased now, so I don't know what that means Estate Wise for her?   I do know the bulk of his Money was from being a Trust Fund Baby, and even tho' these are Old Folks, I don't know how that all Works when the Trust Fund Baby finally Dies?   She seems like she's got considerable Resources to ride out Life, but perhaps, is fearful of the Future now on her own... it happens.

 Crazy Ed, another good Friend, was working with us and knew what had happened, he knows how I am when there is a Situation.  *Winks and Smiles, he KNOWS Dark Dawn... LOL*  He also knows I'll always stand up for what is Right, even if it's hard, I'm not one to lay Silent and be complicit by my Silence.  He wanted me to talk to the Manager whenever Steven would be there and let him confront her.  But, I said, aw Hell No, I'm handling it, right here, right now!  As is my Custom.  And Ed's like, Ruh Roh, Dinner and a Show then.  It was the end of the Shift and we were about to go Home, so, I could do it discreetly and Privately with her... no Audience, for her sake.   Being she's recently Widowed, I didn't wanna go so hard I'd make her Cry, but, I wanted her to know how she'd made me Feel doing what she'd done... and how NOT Okay it was.

Not my intention to Humiliate her as she'd done me, just put/set her Straight about what NEVER to do to or around me again!  Let me now tell you the whole Back Story of how it all transpired and you'll get the total Picture and gist of it... and how I found it Offensive to me also, for obvious reasons.  You see, this Middle Aged Hispanic Lady and her Young Teen Son, who was about 14 I'd Guess, needed to try on some T-Shirts.  He had Six he was considering.  We have no Changing Rooms, so they politely asked Management where he might try them on?  And then he was gonna come out wearing each so his Mom could give him her opinion. Management directed them to the Bathrooms and I was on my Rotation at the Greeter Station. 

 So they told me about it and assigned me to Assist the Customers and Monitor the Try-Ons.  If they wanted a Shirt I'd bring it up front for them and if they didn't I'd do it as a Go-Back to the Vendor's Space.  Ed would be up next as Greeter and he'd take over if the Customer was still trying Shirts on.  Which is not unusual at all, we do it all the time... and explain to Customers how it will Work and our Procedure for it.   Most Customers, if you explain a Company Rule, don't take Issue, some might, but this Mother and Son didn't at all.  They seemed to be decent people, a Mom buying Wardrobe for her Kid.  I've done it many times myself with a Kid or Grandkid, you want it to be a Positive Experience for them, not turn into a shitshow.

I'm quite capable of doing that and was politely explaining to the Customer how it would Work, when that Co-Worker rushes up, eyeballing the Customers in a suspicious way.  Then as The Son was taking a Shirt into the Men's Room to try on, she says loudly to me, to where the Mom could hear, "They're not allowed to do that, you can't try things on!"  I explained they'd already asked and gotten permission from Management and I'd be assisting the Young Man and had already explained how it would Work, I Got this, Okay.  And that we do it all the time, it's Policy.  Strong hint to just mosey the Hell off and not make an Offensive Scene now... Why are you even injecting yourself into the equation?   

I'm glaring at her hard, but she's on a Roll and strays even further afield out of her Lane and into mine, and is getting quite agitated and self-righteous about it now!  WTF... and still in a very audible Stage Whisper says, "Well, if any of those Shirts are mine, I don't want him trying any of mine on, I'm not having my Inventory Stolen!"   Oh Yes, SHE DID!!!   By now I can tell The Mom is Offended and Angry, as anyone would be, and especially if they assume they're being Profiled, and accusing their Kid of being a Thief!  So, I look thru the Shirts and assure her none of them are hers, so... he can go ahead and try them all on.  But, she won't let this go and shut it down... fuuuuuck...

She then says, "Make sure it's only One at a time, we've had a lot of Loss Prevention Issues..." and by now I'm so Humiliated that she's making this rude Scene, and that the Mom might now lose her shit and we'll have a REAL Incident/Situation escalating... that I icily tell her I'm handling this and I don't need any Help doing it!!!   These are MY Customers and I'm assuming the responsibility for the Inventory. After she walks away, I try to smooth things out with the Kid's Mom.  *Whew... had to be very Diplomatic, Trust had now been broken.*  But I can tell we're close to losing a Sale for the Vendors whose Shirts these are, and losing a Customer probably for good and getting some bad PR in the Hispanic Community around us too!   And numerous Loved Ones in my own Family are Hispanic or other People of various Ethnicities and Color... this Friend KNOWS that too.

When the Lady's Son comes out of the Men's Room after trying on Shirt No. One, she switches to Spanish.   Which, I can understand pretty well, so I pretty much knew the gist of their exchange.  And she tells him mebbe they should just go and not Buy anything here, the other Older White Lady thinks they're Thieves and had even said so to me in front of her.   I interjected in English, so she'd know I understood what they'd said in Spanish, and deeply apologized for what happened and told them it was Okay, try on the Shirts and never mind my Co-Worker.  I had a polite Grandmotherly exchange with the Woman's Son too, I could see he really wanted some of those Shirts and Thankfully hadn't heard what my Co-Worker said that was truly so Offensive and was probably Racially motivated.  No Kid needs to endure that kind of thing EVER.

 I will exercise Humility to put a Wrong Right, but I do not appreciate having to be apologetic for any Co-Workers Behavior or Bias towards any other Human Being whose our Customers.   And, Racial Profiling always pisses me off too, so frankly, I was on the side of those Customers.   We are a diverse Family of Color, it has happened to some of my Loved Ones publicly and openly, so, I Understand and have a Point of Reference.  I could tell then that the Woman is Feeling me and how I felt about the incident as well.  She instantly put her defenses down, Calmed down from looking visibly Angry, and I suggested she give her Son feedback on how Handsome he looked in which Shirts?  We carried on... but I ain't gonna lie, some Tension existed and I didn't blame her one iota, she'd been put on the defensive and they had done nothing Wrong.  Falsely implying someone is a Thief is a Big Deal.

To start putting her more at ease and have a Positive Rapport to offset the Negative one, I added that of coarse the Young look Adorable in anything, don't they, even tho' they ask our input?   And she Laughed, and he did look Handsome in them all, but chose Four of the Six to Buy.  They left Happy and both Smiling, said Good-Bye Cheerily to me, the Sales were Salvaged and it was a considerable Sale, and, they might even now come back, since perhaps the Relationship was also Salvaged with our Store?  *Whew*  So, now everyone has left, I corner my Friend and have a terse Come To Jesus with her about it and how badly and rudely she had Offended those Customers.  I was Surprised that the Mom maintained Calm and Dignity actually, having her Son accused and profiled like that, most Moms would have gone Postal!  I wouldn't have held my composure as she did frankly.

I know how I would have reacted and it wouldn't have been as Politely and low key as that Dear Family handled it.   Of coarse, I got the distinct impression this ain't "New" to them and that's a damned shame.  They were a very nice Family and didn't even look remotely sketchy in any of their behavior.   Some people do look suspicious and draw legit suspicion, they did not, at all.  Yes, I know Loss Prevention IS a big Issue in Today's Retail, you cannot avoid all of it.  You can never tell 100% whose capable of the Five Finger Discount... and everyone from little Old Ladies to Kids and Suburban Housewives have been known to do it.  Thieves come in a diverse variety of Human form, so, don't act or pretend like they don't.

The Friend tried to Save Face after my scolding by justifying what she did, it didn't fly with me and I told her so.   She said recently someone took a $125 Jersey of hers into the Bathroom to try it on and boosted it, the Greeter didn't catch the Theft.   Then she said she's Old and can't hear well so didn't realize she was speaking loudly enuf that the Mother could overhear our "Private" conversation.   Well, she could... and it was not Okay to even have that conversation in front of Customers or other Staff at all, very unprofessional, Offensive and Rude.  Period.  I walked away, she's known me long enuf she knew she'd pissed me off and Offended me too.

She was Wise to let me go off and Cool Off, but she did come back and apologize to me, I don't think she felt Bad she Offender the Customer tho', I really didn't.  And she now knows, better NEVER happen again, don't EVER do that to me or any Customer I'm Serving so that I have to apologize FOR HER behavior.  I don't like to run damage control behind anyone else for something I'd never do or say, am not about, and find no excuses for whatsoever.  She made a lot of excuses instead of thinking what she did/said was Wrong... as many do who feel some kind of way and see nothing Wrong about it.  But, I've been around long enuf to know how people are.   And when I came Home of coarse I Vented and Shared the experience to my Family.  Even tho', well, nobody is Surprised, since, it's not AS IF this kind of thing rarely happens out there in the World all the time.  But a little Venting can be therapeutic. *Smiles*  Blog Vents too putting it on Blast too.  *Winks*

Just be a Kind Human, how fucking hard is that really?   Yes, you cannot tell anyone how to FEEL, about anything, but, exhibit some Basic fucking Humanity and Consideration in Public.  The Daughter said she and Andrase talk about it all the time, becoz whenever they go somewhere together as a Couple, they get thrown Shade or Suspicion by some Employees.   Yes, they're both used to it, but that doesn't make it Okay or not Insulting.  But, they both tend to default to Gallow's Humor about it.  Andrase fav response being, "Well, I been Black where ever I go, and for a long time now..."   I remember my Dad saying a similar Phrase about being Native American whenever we'd be somewhere that someone felt some kind of Negative way about it.  And my Mom had a similar Phrase about being a Foreign Immigrant in America.  We all know it still happens.  It's as Ugly as it ever was.

LATER:  Well, on Monday Morning, at the Restricted Hours, I took The Man to The Gym, they Restrict Seniors now to their busiest Hours, makes no sense whatsoever, and is blatant Ageism, but, whatever.  We were fortunate we got to use the Hydromassage Chairs together and Two Sessions before Seniors started stacking up to use them.  *Whew*  I parked The Man at the Lounge area to do my Wet Sauna and Shower, he gets scared to do either after that one time he forgot which Locker he had his belongings in and Management had to assist him, he was embarrassed.  And it was scary to me too since I can't go into the Men's Changing Room to retrieve him and see if he's Okay.

So, we decided he'd Shower at Home where I can assist him if he needs Assistance.   He liked having the Hydrotherapy Massages, 20 Minutes of it, which is great for his Circulation, Stress reduction, Pain relief, Headache Management, Sleep, Relaxation, Toxin release and loosens Tight Muscles.   Both of us took long Naps when we got Home from the Gym and Lunch.  *LOL*  I now have a Spa Music Station on my Serius XM Station in the Truck, which is very Soothing too, we both Love it and get a kick out of some of the Names of the Songs.  *Smiles*  Princess T jokes that it's so Calming that she just Hopes I don't fall asleep while driving listening to it.  *Bwahahaha* 

This is one of the Great-Grands, the Middle Granddaughter's First Child, whose now Preggy with his Little Sister, who should be Born quite soon.   Thank Baby Jesus and all the Saints that she and her Hubby didn't Dress him in his MAGA duds to Share this Pix.  *Whew*  Yeah, unfortunately they're both apparently rabid MAGAts and I ain't gonna Lie, that grieves me.   Becoz, like most militant MAGA that have bought into The Cult, they have the usual BS spewed all over their Social Media, and if it wasn't a Grandchild, I'd shut it down and Block her actually.  I'm just being Truthful and simply don't understand the attraction and Devotion the Base has for that Guy, it's Creepy Cultish and they seem almost beyond redemption.    So, I do worry when any of our Loved Ones tip to the Far Side of Lunatic Fringe Devotion of Extremist Politics, yeah!!!  The Man gets less worked up about it, since a lot of his biological Family lean Far Right, absolutely none of my biological Family do... but even Family by Marriage, I worry about... can't help it.

I guess it disturbs me mostly becoz I once knew a Survivor of a Dangerous Cult who was a good Friend.  Her Name was India and she was the only one in her entire Family who Survived the Cult Jonestown Massacre in Guyana.   She was Raised in the Cult but said she knew Jim Jones was a dangerous Psychopath and feared him.   But she was a Kid, she couldn't and didn't Escape until her early Teens, and was a Runaway in order to Escape it, since her entire Family bought into the Cult Devotion and all perished due to it, every single one.  She couldn't Save any of them and was Lucky to even Save herself!  I know how that affected her, as it would anyone when a Cult implodes and goes totally Off the Rails and I do predict this MAGA Cult will too.  And those who have been deeply indoctrinated, brainwashed, manipulated, weaponized, conned, and radicalized... are disposable assets to that Madman.

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Life, it is often complicated... Dawn... The Bohemian