When Motivation Meets Ambition

I had the Rare Combo of Motivation meeting Ambition to get busy with the Organizational and Cleaning Project The Daughter had begun in our Kitchen.  Then, do some Downsizing along with it, and she and I could hardly Stop once we got started and in our Rhythm of it.  We got so much accomplished in a single Day that I was delighted with our results and the Positive Energy and improved Function it brought to the Space.  It had been a Hot Mess and I did take some 'After' Pixs, tho', probably I should have taken some 'Before' Pixs as well to give you a Point of Reference to how involved a Project it turned out to be!  *Smiles*

We have a large rolling Steel Industrial Bakery Cart on Wheels just outside of the Kitchen, and it had just gotten ridiculously cluttered.  And stuff had also piled up around it like a Scene from 'Hoarders', so, I'd been wanting to do something about it to reclaim Function and Order to the Space for some time now.   I Purged Two whole Boxes of items from it that are going to be Sold Off, removed about 3 Crates of items I'll keep but find other Placement for in The RV Garage Mahal, and bought some more new Glass with Bamboo Lids Canisters from TARGET this time that are similar to the lovely IKEA ones I Scored at The Granddaughter's Chazza SAVERS.

Who'd of thunk that the 11 smaller and 6 larger IKEA Canisters wouldn't be enuf to hold all the Non-Perishable Pantry Foods I wanted to now Display and have accessible on that Industrial Bakery Cart?  I also picked up a Black Wrought Iron and Wood Four Tier narrow Shelving unit to put beside the Rack to put the most used items on for easy access.   Things like Princess T's Ramen Cup O Soups she takes to Work every Day and practically Lives on, since, 19 Year Olds just do.  *Winks*  And The Man's LIPTON Teas and The Adult Kiddos Gatorades.   It also gives me a Visual on how much we have on Hand and when I might need to restock. Before I'd have to Guess or hear them wail they were out of whatever it was or couldn't find it!  *LOL*

Nothing beats a well Organized and Orderly Pantry Space and now it's a thing of Beauty I tell ya!  *Smiles*  We do have a Pantry Cupboard that is Built into the Kitchen, The Daughter and I had Organized that too and taken Inventory.  She also decluttered, Organized and made Order out of our Countertop Space and vast array of Spices/Condiments.  We'd picked up one of those Stairstep Spice Holders that looks like tiny Bleachers and it's quite a Space saver and Displays the Spices better for easy access and use too.  We got that also at SAVERS while looking to see if they had anymore upscale Canisters on The Cheap, which, they didn't, I'd bought them all already and cleaned out their IKEA Donations.  *LOL*

The Daughter Mopped the Floor again with Purple Fabuloso after we were done, so everything also looked and smelled, well, Fabuloso!  *LMAO*  Along with all this Housekeeping Organization and the Big Edit and Purge, Shopping for Canisters and Shelving Unit, which The Son put together for me, we also did Irrigation.  This time our Head of Water was spartan and we only got about half the Water we should have.  Neighbors were speculating on whether we have another Water Thief further up the Rotation Schedule before us?   It has happened before, or, sometimes people don't maintain their portion of the Irrigation Ditch, which impedes Water Flow considerably too.  We may have to contact SRP coz it was NOT Okay to only receive half the Water in your structured slotted Time as you should have gotten with a good Head of Water flowing.

But, now all of that is done, The Man behaved and Rested all day, his Recovery is going quite well now he's Home and back in his regular Routine.  It was funny that when The Daughter and I were leaving to go to TARGET to seek out Canisters and a Shelf Unit, he asked if we'd bring him back a "Treat"?   And The Daughter couldn't Help herself, and said, you mean like a "Milk Bone" Dad?  *Bwahahahaha*  It's just the Wordage he's used had tickled both of us and was quite Vague about what he actually meant or wanted us to bring back for him?  What constitutes a "Treat" for a 73 Year Old Man Recovering from Surgery?  We had no Idea.  *LOL*  We brought him back one of those Snack Boxes that has about 20 Single Serving Bags of Mini Oreos, Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies, Mini Nutter Butters, and Mini Rits Bitz with Cheese.

I'd also bought BARRO's Pizza for Dinner {The Food Porn ones pictured further Above in the Post}, since we both were too Tired to Cook now we'd done so much Housekeeping Work all Day long and still had a House Full of People.  Comfort Food was in Order now our Stress Levels had subsided.  *LOL*  All the Kiddos Boyfriends and Girlfriend had stayed to watch more Movies and help with the Chores, so I had a Hungry Hoard to Feed too.  *Smiles*  So, I got an XL Pepperoni and a Medium White Pizza.  Yeah, I know, Carbs, but, I'd not eaten any other Carbs all Day so was still within my Lower Carb Range.  Mostly I'm eating Veggies and Proteins now and drinking lots of Water.  Plus, no telling how many Calories I'd burned up with my flurry of Housework and schlepping large heavy filled Crates and Boxes of stuff I'd Purged out of my Kitchen Space Areas?   Half were Stored in The RV Garage Mahal now and Half were Stored in The She Shed for Pricing and to bring in to Inventory sometime as Fresh Merch.

The Daughter wants to next have us Purge what's in Kitchen Drawers and she'll Sell it at a Yard Sale where she has everything for a Dollar.  What doesn't get Sold then gets Donated.   We aren't utilizing half of what's in the Utensil Drawers and it's ridiculous to have Too Much of that kind of stuff you'll probably never use again.  I want to pare down what's used less or not at all around here, keeping only what's used most.  I had some nice Pho Bowls that we just never seemed to use even tho' they're attractive, so, those are getting Sold.  We end up eating our Pho either in Paper Bowls or in our much used Cereal Bowls or other Soup Bowls.   Even tho' the Pho Bowls have tiny holes in the sides and a niche for holding your Chopsticks.  I'm just Over keeping every Cute Bowl or Plate we never use now.  But, I did Keep my Six Ramen Bowls pictured Below...

I Purged all my Fire King Vintage Kitchenware that is White or Pink now, only Keeping my Jadeite Color.   That was huge, coz, I still like the White, which is more common to find, and the Rarer Pink which is hard to find, but, we never use it and will only end up Displaying the Jadeite Collection of it.  I have too much Jadeite, like the Plates of all Sizes, so, eventually I will have to look thru it all again and Downsize to mebbe a Service for Eight?   And I even am parting with some knockoff Jadeite from another Maker that is Lovely, Vintage, but, not Fire King Jadeite, so I decided not to Keep it either.   Magnolia Table by the Gaines was hawking some Modern Jadeite at TARGET some time ago that I have decided to Keep the pieces of it I'd Collected tho'.

There's still this part of my Psyche, like every Hoarder of Beautiful Things, that thinks, what IF I decide to start using all this again and have NEED of it?  I'll regret having gotten rid of it!  *Bwahahaha*  I know, it's a total delusion that is not likely to ever happen in Real Life, but, the Thoughts persist nonetheless.   My Accountability Partner, be it The Daughter or Princess T, will bring me back down to Earth and query, so, WHEN is this Imaginary Need of it gonna happen Mom/Gramma?  Given the Time I probably have left on this Side of Time and Eternity, the Right and Truthful Sane Answer is NEVER... and so then I Let it Go.  *Winks*  This is Why I am not as effective doing any of this Solo and do better with an Accountability Partner assisting me and asking the Hard Questions for me to contemplate.

I do get Anxious if they go too Fast, The Son says this is Why he is reluctant to ever be my Helper, coz he wants to get a lot done and fast.  He knows I'll have a Meltdown at some Point when the Speed he's doing it at overwhelms me or his Manhandling of shit, as Men will do, makes me Freak Out, coz I just know he's gonna inadvertently break something by moving too fast and carelessly with my Stuff.  It's hard enuf for me to let someone Touch my Stuff, let alone Trust them not to damage any of it and properly Respect whatever it is and my Wishes for it.  The Daughter is the best at slowing her Roll to where I'm delegating what to do, and am more comfortable with the Pace we're going and I set, and when I get Anxious, she'll ask if we should take a Break before I have a Breakdown?  *LOL*

I couldn't have a whole Team of Strangers like they do on 'Hoarders' just come in and start doing whatever, I'd for sure go Postal at some point, even tho' they're only trying to Help.   Yes, everything would get totally Done in a Day rather than Years, but, my Mental State would probably require some Institutionalization perhaps?  *Bwahahahaha*  I'd need to not even be here if they had to run an Intervention of that Order and Magnitude.  Then I could just waltz in to a finished Project and just have to get over what was Gone.   I've done that before, after a Divorce from my 1st Husband, where I left with the Clothes on my Back and the Kids, one was a Newborn and the other was Four... and I Survived just Fine... so I know I can Lose everything and Start Over.  It's not easy to have incredible Losses, but, I adapt and improvise quite well when I just HAVE to.

The Man just told me he HAS to go out on Wednesday and eat at "The Cheesecake Factory" coz it's National Cheesecake Day and they've made a new Cheesecake for it with Peaches.  *LOL*  He's got a Thing for Peach flavored stuff, so now he's gonna be Fixated on this Cheesecake made with Peaches.  Once he's Fixated, he's gotta have it and will be relentless about having it.  Dropping Hints incessantly.  *Ha ha ha*   Speaking of relentless, The Son didn't drink all Weekend either, an anomaly for him! Since he had his Navajo Girlfriend over for most of the Weekend and she's very Anti-Firewater.   And I'm very Anti-Firewater, so we Gel on that level.  My 1st Husband was a Native American mixed race person like myself and he was an Alcoholic and Substance Abuser, he had been since his early Teens.  I couldn't live with that, it became dangerous to the Kids and I.  I was plotting his demise in the end, so, Divorce became necessary and the only reason he's probably still Alive.  *Winks*  He ended up in Maximum Security Prison for 27 Years Post-Divorce, so my Instincts weren't Wrong.

Anyway, The Son's Girlfriend's Dad Died of the effects of Alcoholism, which isn't unusual in Indigenous Populations.   I know that feeling since I Lost Native American Relatives to Substance Abuse too of my Generation and the Generation of my Children.  Luckily none of my Dad's Generation of Brothers or Sisters, nor he, or my Paternal Grandparents, touched the stuff.  Dad drilled it into us we shouldn't, but gave us the Choice to make ourselves.  He said the Fire Water was the worst thing his People got exposed to by the White Man coz it became a particularly predictable Generational Curse to so many Indians.   And we just can't handle Alcohol at all, I don't know why the susceptibility to Alcoholism is higher in our Populations, just that it is.  At the DA's Office every Crime committed by a Tribal Person involved Alcohol, every single one!!!

I discovered early on I got all Crazy Indian if I drank Alcohol, and I was a Mean Drunk who couldn't handle much Alcohol intake at all, so, decided it wasn't for me.   I'd Fight anyone if I had just Two Beers in me, and forget about Hard Liquor, I would have ended up Imprisoned for some Epic Crime like a brutal Homicide, pretty sure.  *LOL and Winks*  Both The Son and The Daughter are Alcoholics, coz they didn't heed me drilling into them that they shouldn't, but, also gave them the Choice, once Grown, to make themselves.  Once Grown your Kiddos are just gonna do what they're gonna do, you know?  But, both of them got Clean from Dangerous Drugs and would like to be Sober from Alcohol as well, so, I Believe they could do it.   Gotta be easier than giving up Fentanyl, Cocaine and Meth, I figure?   The Son once gave up Smoking Cigarettes for Four Years for a Woman, so he could kick that again too for this one, she doesn't Smoke and doesn't like it.  *Yay*  She could Clean him Up?   And I'll be her Backup.  *Winks*

Anyway, now I've downloaded my Kitchen Organizational Project of the Weekend, I realize it doesn't LOOK like as much Work as we put into it, but, Believe me, it WAS!   No Hyperbole, it was a Hot Mess beforehand and I'd of been ashamed to Photograph it lest you call the "Hoarders" folks and Book me an Episode.  *Winks*   And what Motivated me most was that Two Years in to living here I'd Photographed that area before and it was a Vision, so the decline happened quite recently and didn't start out that way.  That's how clutter happens, insidiously at first and then Snowballs all Out of Control 'til it becomes an Avalanche of Stuff in Chaos.  Of coarse in February of 2020 we'd just Closed on this Home and almost all our stuff was still in U-Haul Storage and mostly being moved over here to be shoved unceremoniously into The RV Garage Mahal Space and Art Studio Space rather than the Main Living Areas.  I wanted to see how Minimalist Living felt again for a change?

I lasted about 18 Months living Small and Minimalistic and I didn't mind it, but, began to miss my Stuff.   And it was beginning to cause me Anxiety to have 95% of it stashed in Non-Living Non-Climate Controlled Space too, lest it become compromised by Temperature.  So, I began the arduous Process of continuing the notorious Senior Season of Life Project again in earnest.  And if it was something I couldn't bear to part with and wanted to Display or Use, it came in... and... well, you know how that ended up!  *Bwahahahhaa*   And so now here we are again, and the Pictures now being Shared are just a Reveal of how Minimalist Dawn just enjoyed living like that again for almost Two Years, just to show I could.  But, didn't want to anymore, I enjoy my Stuff, but, not Chaos or Clutter, and we had Half the House now we used to have, so... Editing and Purging, Organizing and Downsizing more becomes a way of life now.

Listen, Minimalist me was my Youthful Adult Nomadic Life Me, and so long as I kept Moving incessantly from place to place, it worked for me.  I could pick up and go without much fanfare or expense, like a True Gypsy.  Those Days are now over in Retirement Years when I decided I wanted to Stay Put and have nice things.  I got carried away with the nice things part, clearly.  *Bwahahahaha*   And began Investing in them once I didn't have my big ole' Corporate Salary streaming in anymore, so that Money was not any Object that created a barrier of Quality of Life.  Forced early Retirement to become a Full Time Unpaid Caregiver who'd also now Inherited another Generation to get Raised was a dilemma, I was still Years away from being able to draw my Pension or Social Security Income!  But, as a Lifetime Corporate "Fixer" I was used to Big Problems to Solve, it was my Super Power apparently and I always made damned good Money doing it for big Corporations to bail them out of Problems caused by whatever, so... I just decided to do it for us instead. 

We lost more than Half the Money we were used to Earning, when I had to quit my Corporate Career and become The Man's Caregiver, then have One Grandchild to Raise, then Two, on just his Disability and Forced Retirement Income from the Military.   He went down to 66% of what he used to Earn once in 100% Disabled Veteran Status, you improvise, you adapt, you make it Work.   What made sense to me was that my Parents were Consummate Collectors and Invested in nice things that added Value over Time.   Dad was Career Military, but he was basically Uneducated at Indian Schools so he didn't make Rank quickly, and was in Military Food Service, which didn't hand out Rank easily.   So he always Moonlit as a Master Chef for fancy Civilian Restaurants, coz being a Culinary Self-Trained Jedi was his Super Power.  You work with what you have Gifted to you by The Divine Creator, he always said.  Your Gift will always make Room for you in Life, coz it's your Divine Purpose. 

Mom's Gift was she knew The Good Stuff, she had a Radar for it and so she Taught my Dad how to spot it too and they'd scour the Countryside for it as an added Investment.  Mom's Gift was Math, she could calculate faster than any Computer, when Computers first came out she challenged those Selling them to Calculate with their newfangled Device faster than she could with her Brain, they never could.  She was like some Math Savant.   Both she and Dad were Master Negotiators too, I think I Inherited that from them?   So, Mom could look at something that would be a Prime Investment and instantly know how much more she could make off it later.  Since they were Career Military we moved A LOT, every 12-18 Months for 27 Years.   So, she'd be Buying and Selling The Good Stuff all my Life.  Making enuf to Buy Better Stuff in Upgrades, so on and so forth to get to the most Primo Stuff eventually.

 Mom always made our Home look like a Palace, even when my Dad was a mere A1C in the Air Force.   Dad could Horse Trade like nobody's Business.  When he decided he wanted to Marry my Mom he somehow managed to get her a $5,000 African Blue Water Diamond Wedding Ring, which is a captivating Rarity and in the early 1950's Five Grand for a Ring was a LOT LOT!  Pay for a Huge Wedding, get her a Couture Wedding Gown made in Paris, make all her Bridesmaid's Dresses himself, and her Bouquet was a spray of African Orchids!  Their Wedding made Front Page News in Europe at the time and her whole Town showed up for the Wedding to this American who was also a Red Indian, as the British called my Dad's People.  *LOL*  It was a Real Big Deal.  *Smiles*  They had a LONG Engagement so Dad could Bankroll all of that, but when my Dad wanted something bad enuf he'd work his Ass off to get it.

  I can't even Imagine how much Moonlighting he had to do to earn enuf beyond his A1C Salary to do it.  That endeared him to to Welsh Gypsy Gran-Gran, coz Marrying off a Daughter spared no expense in his Culture either.   Gypsy Weddings are Over-The-Top too.  But my Dad insisted HE pay for it coz in his Culture, which is a Matriarchal One, a Woman is the Wealth of the Family and will Own everything, have Control over all Assets, not the Man.   He knew my Mom was a Prize to be had and whatever it took, he was gonna do it.  She told me at the time she met my Dad, when her Older Brother brought the first Two Americans Home she'd ever seen or met, she was already Engaged to a British Officer in the RAF who had Money.  Mom used to Joke that she liked being Engaged, she was Engaged numerous times as a Young Woman.  Many a Man wanted to Marry her.  *LOL*

 She broke off that Engagement and the rest is History.  *LOL*  They were Married for 36 Years before that Fairy Tale ended... and I blame the effects of War for much of that, Dad was never quite the same, most Men who endure the Horrors of War never are.  Dad despised the atrocities he saw committed against the Vietnamese People while in Vietnam, by the Americans and the Viet Cong, so he was very close to the Civilian Vietnamese People during his Tour, he could easily relate to them having Outsiders of their Country altering their Destiny and way of Life.   My Dad learned the Language and was Kind to the Villagers becoz he could see their plight and knew that War was Politically motivated and wouldn't End well for the Vietnamese that Trusted America to do Right by them.  We didn't.  They didn't do Right by the Indigenous of North America either, in Canada or the United States, and couldn't be Trusted, probably EVER according to my Dad, he wasn't Wrong.  The Man's 1st Marriage also ended after Vietnam.

He jokes that I got him "Damaged" whereas his Dear First Wife did not.  And, being the "Fixer" that I am, and always up to the Challenge of what everyone says is an Impossibility... well... the rest of that is History too, coz now we've been Married longer than my Parents were.  And few thought it would last.  *LOL*  And his Crazy kind of gelled with my Crazy, and my Dad really liked The Man a lot... tho', he did have his Challenge with my Mom.  *Bwahahahaa*  My Mom told me he was Good Husband/Father Material, and a Good Man, she Predicted all of that accurately like she always did, but, she just didn't LIKE him.  *Smiles*   Now, by contrast she really LIKED my 1st Husband, but accurately Predicted he was not Good Husband/Father Material, and that I couldn't "Fix" that one, his Essence was far too damaged for anyone to.  He was Adopted at Age 3 to a Wealthy White Family who Brokered him basically and mistreated him coz they admitted they got him as a Companion for the only White Child they'd previously been able to Adopt as a much Older Adoptive Couple!  His Adoptive Brother was the same Age as him, but not mistreated.

  She was Right about that as well and Pitied him for the Fate she saw in advance, that he would have, by what she saw in her Premonitions, she wasn't Wrong.  She encouraged my Divorce, as did my Dad, since she said I shouldn't go thru what his Fate had destined for him, and neither should her Grandchildren.  Dad had just told me "If the Horse is Dead, get off."  *LOL*  As for The Daughter's Father, who I never Married, Mom didn't LIKE him and Dad didn't LIKE him either, both said he wasn't a Good Man nor Good Husband/Father Material and wasn't worth holding onto, so I didn't.  Had I heeded Parental Advice as a Young Woman I could have avoided much, but, I think we have our own Destinies and they Play out as they just will.   Dad was a confirmed Fatalist about Life.  And in many ways I guess I am too.

The Son's Girlfriend said that her Grandmother Raised many Children from other Tribes that fled from Canada's notorious Boarding Schools.  The Navajo especially used to Hide their Female Children from the U.S. Boarding Schools, so they wouldn't be indoctrinated at the Indian Schools and lose their Identities or have their Culture and Language driven out of them.   Or Die.  My Dad lost Three Brothers as Children, Two for sure Died, one just was Disappeared and never heard from again, we never found out what happened to him, he was Nine at the time.  Being a Matriarchal Society it is the Women who pass along the Culture and Traditions, the Rituals and are the Wealth of the Tribe's continuity. 

 My Dad valued Education, a REAL one, which is why in part he didn't want us going to Reservation Schools or living on a Rez, he wanted us to get a decent Education afforded us.  He was very Proud my Brother and I did so well in our Careers becoz we were properly Educated and assimilated smoothly without the Trauma he endured.  Trauma leaves incredible Scars upon people.   If you manage to get thru this Life without any, or many, you're most fortunate.   But even our Scars often shape us in ways we can use to our advantage, becoz often your Misery can be your Ministry in this Life... and have Purpose to Help others going thru similar Issues of Life.   I always Hope Blog Posts with transparency about the Issues of Life can be Helpful to someone going thru stuff... everyone has their own Journey to navigate as best they can with the Hand they've been dealt.   May we try at least to see the Divine in every other Human Being.

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Blessings, Love and Light coming to you all from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian