An Update On The Man... A Surgical Heart Procedure Necessary

I realize my last Post wasn't a Happy nor a Good News one exclusively. Tho' there was a smattering of Positives, there was a shit ton of Negatives that didn't give Life a balance right now.  Sometimes that's how Life just rolls and goes and you have to roll with it.  Princess T seems to have managed to come out of her Mental Funk and seems Healthier Physically Today too, so, she can go back to Work.  Her Employers, thus far, have been accommodating, since, they knew she had Special Needs, Anxiety and Health complications before even asking me if she'd come Work for them.  They Solicited us for her Employment and we have a good rapport with the Management there.  So long as they keep that Management, I think we'll not have problems with her having so many Sick Days?  Coz, she's an excellent Employee.

The great thing about having a strong connection to your Community is that almost everyone knows you and if you have a good Reputation within the Community it benefits you greatly and precedes you.  The New Problem Female Supervisor who took over for Kyle got reprimanded by Upper Management, so she's Chilled considerably now, which is a good thing.  Princess T is very stoic and introverted about Problems and Problem People, so, I MAY have said something to the Right People about said Problem Person.  And now it's Handled.  *Winks*  The Woman isn't Management Material and was running off a lot of their best Employees she was put in charge of, that's a big Problem for any Corporation, it has to be Handled.  My Kiddo was thinking of quitting becoz of her, no bueno.  *Smiles and Winks*

It's flattering to me that Upper Management there have asked me if I'd consider coming out of my Retirement?  But, I've told them my Corporate Grind Days are over and well behind me, Thanks, but No Thanks.   However, that said, I will give some Sage Advice for Free if Solicited for some to anyone I have Respect for in their Management, who I know are Good People.  *Winks*  I used to Charge a lot for Consultant Work, and Corporations used to pay me handsomely to be their Fixer when things weren't going smoothly or actually had gone to shit.  *Bwahahaha*  But, I really have no desires or ambitions to do that shit anymore, the Politics and Posturing would, at this Season of Life, probably mean I'd go Postal and end up on the Ten O'Clock News.  *Winks* 

Plus, I feel I've developed handy Corporate Amnesia of sorts, I don't wanna know, don't wanna Remember, and have Forgotten more than I've Retained about it all.   Some things are best left in the Past, so that you can fully enjoy the Present and be Mindful of how much better off you are Living in your Present.  At a certain Age you have less Future than you have a Past, so I Plan to enjoy as much of it as I might have left, you know?  *Smiles*   Being in a Corporate Grind again is not my Vision of my Present and sure as Hell ain't my Vision for my Future.  Bless those who are Grinding and still have to, I don't have to anymore, and so I'm Happily NOT.   I like being allegedly Retired actually, only Working when I have to or want to... and being selective about that.

I think so much has changed, and not all for the better, so I'm glad I'm not Younger.  I'm enjoying my Season of Life, it has it's complications, but, expected ones if you've been one of the Lucky few who've attained the privilege of growing Old.  It's more Liberating to be a Senior, I'm enjoying it and don't know why so many try to fight Father Time or Fear growing Old and don't have a Peace about it?   Plus, I don't FEEL Old in my Spirit or in my Thought Processes at all.  I FEEL the same as I've always been, and I'm still very much myself, my Authentic Self, just a Wiser and more Seasoned in all my ways version of me.  Perhaps if you've not been Authentic to Self you might be having a Midlife or Old Age Crisis, I dunno, no Point of Reference there.   I've liked being Authentically Me, so didn't have to make any adjustments.

I am a complete Weirdo, I embrace it, I Own it, I'm comfortable with it.  Never colored inside the lines or conformed and wouldn't want to either, it wouldn't be me to.   You move better in Purpose if you feel you've Found yours and just Be Yourself with no Pretenses.  Not everyone will like it and that's Okay, whatever is for Everybody is probably not very Extraordinary or Uncommon.   Anything or Anyone whose a Dime a Dozen is of little Value really.  My Opinion and Observation as I've moved thru Life, you can Agree to Disagree.  But, Anything or Anyone of great Value I've ever experienced isn't Common and isn't Ordinary, and that's what makes it or them Special and usually adds Value, making it or them hard to replace or even to find and acquire.  

Anyway, I'm glad she's feeling better coz we're not getting such great News about The Man from his Cardiologist Team.  I know he's had problems, but he's notorious for not wanting to know any Bad News or to relay information he's told, even IF he remembers what it is.  So, we have to advise all his Medical Team that they need to inform the rest of us too so that we know what follow-up he should be having on The Regular.  He doesn't like seeing a Specialist, becoz they tell him to do things he doesn't wanna do or sometimes has no intentions of doing despite the risk factors.  He's a stubborn Old Man that way and I know this about him.  Being his Caregiver when he's resistant to Behaving is not easy, you can't do some things FOR someone, they must be on Board to do it FOR themselves.   The Devil is in the Details.

And he's less Stressed Out if he's not given Grim Prognosis or Diagnosis, for him Ignorance is more Blissful and so I Respect that decision to just not always know.  If he's gonna have better Quality of Life NOT knowing, then so be it.  I know some Medical Professionals don't like you having that Attitude, but, if they can do no more FOR a Person, and it becomes just a Money Grab, we're just not all that Interested in Oiling The Machine and not having any Return on our Investment, you know?  Listen, if they've done all they can, that's Okay with us, we'll now rely exclusively on The Lord and we're Okay with that too.   I'm Fine with telling my Medical Team, Listen, if you've done all you can for me Doc, it's Fine, now I'll remain Up by Faith and Know it WILL Hold.  Some Bad Prognosis I just won't Receive.  Coz, I'm not Dead 'til God says so, regardless of what any Doctor Thinks or Predicts.  They've been Wrong before.  *Winks*

The Man has literally had Docs tell he and I that they don't even know how or why he's still Alive... or came back from his Catastrophic TBI so well... coz he should have been in a Vegetative State and croaked long ago.   But, I refused to Receive that Prognosis and we just did our own Rehabilitation of him, which did take Years, but, here we now are and he IS still Alive, so, we were Happy with our efforts and results.  My Parents were told I shouldn't have lived to be Six Years Old and I'll be 68 next Month... so well past the Experts Expiration Date of me, and I'm Happy with my efforts and results to stay Vertical too.  *Winks*   Both of The G-Kid Force were Born with serious complications as well.  I didn't Receive the Grim Prognosis given for their Well Being and Survival, they are and have been Soldiers and Warriors since Birth, Bless 'em.  It's a tough Row to Hoe, but, we're up for it.

Mando has said our Energy here has helped him to feel he can Last longer than Docs gave him.  He shouldn't have made it to this last Birthday and his Docs are astounded he has.  I gave him Holy Water to Anoint himself with Daily and told him he's not Dead 'til GOD says so, I don't care what any Docs have told him, I don't see no Expiration Date stamped on anyone.  Defy the Odds if they're not in your Favor, Favor ain't Fair, but it is Favor, and if God Grants you some Favor, take it and run with it.   My Welsh Uncle was given Weeks to Live when he was in his 40's and he Outlived Four of his Specialists and Lived to be 90 with his Terminal Diagnosis they'd given him.  He had malignant Tumors that were inoperable and he realized that Fact, some were visible, some internal, but he refused to Receive the Death Sentence given and just kept on Living.  The Hour and Timing of our Passing is a Mystery I Accept as such.  Nobody is Immortal, it will come when it comes.

I went to a Park to get Cans and there was a half full Food Box there that people had rifled thru and took what they wanted and left the rest.  Park Services were there cleaning and they've told us they have to toss it, so I took what was left.  All good stuff, but people can be so picky about what they don't have to even pay for, we could use everything that they'd abandoned.  One was a specialty Sunscreen that I know at "Sprouts" sells for $13.99 a Tube!!!  Another was an $8 Bag of Teriyaki Beef Jerky!   And a $12 Bag of Beef Jerky Sticks!!!  Three big Bags of the Goldfish Crackers that are new Baked Crisps version.   A Pair of Ray Ban Sunglasses and Several Household Cleaning Supplies like DAWN Dishwashing Liquid, Bartender's Friend Products, Brand new Scrub Brushes, Swiffer Sweeper Pads, Mister Clean Magic Eraser Sponge Set.  Nice Bonus to picking up and recycling Aluminum Cans found there.  *LOL*

I thought about going to The Gym again while I have the Freedom to, but I don't have the Motivation to do it Two Days in a row yet.  *LOL*  Baby Steps.  *Smiles*  The Daughter has been doing some of the Housekeeping like deep cleaning the Kitchen and the Fridge, now she's doing Laundry and earlier did the balance of the Yardwork.  She likes to keep busy doing stuff and it's a huge Help to me.   She's trying to work up the Head Space to go apply for her 90 Days worth of Annual Food Stamps, now called SNAP Benefits.  Cuts have been made but I think she could and should still qualify for some Food Assistance?   And she said if the new Requirements are you must Work then she'll challenge them to find her an Employer willing to hire a Paranoid Schizophrenic and provide Transportation since she's not allowed to ever Drive due to the severity of her Mental Illness, Psychotic Breaks and hallucinations.  She's not opposed to Working, getting Hired is the barrier.  *Winks*

Last time a surly Caseworker got Uppity about her 'ability' to be able to Work, the Woman's demeanor Triggered The Daughter and she threatened to throw her out the 3rd Story Window at the Social Security Building Downtown... along with the Woman's Equipment making an annoying Sound!  *LOL*   I'd told the Woman it wasn't as if The Daughter CAN'T Work, she does good Work, but, she's not Mentally Stable and thus it can create Employer Liability Issues, and so THAT is the barrier to Employment.  The Caseworker had told us that The Daughter didn't "Look" Mentally Ill!   And I asked what Mental Illness was supposed to "Look Like" and was she a Certified Psychiatrist making that determination?   Coz numerous Shrinks had given us numerous Letters to bring in with us, Certifying the level of long-term Mental Illness this Woman was then arrogantly disputing. 

 I think this Caseworker was mistaking Developmental or Physical Disability that can "Look" evident... with Mental Illness, which doesn't always "Look" apparent.  Well, until you're ready and willing to throw Caseworkers out Three Story Windows.  *LOL*   Anyway, she had a fresh revelation and approved SSI, but that was over 20 Years ago, so, The Daughter just recalls what an Ordeal it all always is and she doesn't wanna be Triggered and Risk going Mental and getting locked up involuntarily again at the State Hospital or any other Mental Health Facility, if a Caseworker causes her to lose her shit.   So, she's been reluctant to even go in and re-apply for benefits or get her broken State Phone replaced, coz they can't be repaired when they finally crap out.  They're like Burner Phones.  Hers heated up and melted!  So, it's probably not safe to use even if it could be repaired, but, it can't be.

So, anyway, until she girds herself to be taken down to DES by either Mando or myself and apply for 90 Days worth of SNAP for 2025, I've got to just give her Space to be up for it.   It shouldn't have to be such an Ordeal for someone who isn't gainfully Employable and too Unwell to get thru The Process without Advocacy Assistance, to get just 3 Months worth of fucking Nutritional Assistance.   Food and Shelter are basic Needs for even an Animal, let alone a Human Being with Serious Health or Mental Health Issues.    In fact, The Systems and Society would probably extend more Compassion towards an Animal.   And I'm an Animal Lover, don't get me Wrong, I want Humane Treatment and the Basics for even our Animal Friends of all Species... but we're talking about Precious Human Beings being extended BASIC Humanity to even be allowed to Survive!!!

This is the Gift Shop at The Hospital that The Man is in, I popped in to take a Pix of their Mannequin, which I thought was Cute with that Floral Display Topper instead of a Head... and the Gay Pride T-Shirt too.   Below is the new Strata Frappuccino at Starbucks, it's really good, the layers are cool, The Son had given me his Birthday Gift Certificate coz tho' he drinks a lot of Coffee, he never goes to Starbucks and knows I do.   Clearly you can see my Truck got dirty during the Monsoon Storm we had last Night.  *LOL*  It kind of Rains Mud sometimes when there's a Dust Storm Haboob accompanied by torrential Rains... and a Black Truck shows more dirt than a White one did.  *Le Sigh*   Anyway, it was a very strong and fragrant Coffee, I really liked it, so would order it again, tho' it's smaller than the regular Frappuccino, the flavors are more robust and worth it IMO.  They have it in flavors but I just got the Coffee flavor.

I went to the Dollar Store to get some more 6-Pacs of the Crystal Geyser Alpine Spring Water while they still had it for $1.25.   We drink a lot of Water during the Summer Months.   The Daughter wanted some Fabuloso so she could mop the Floors, we love the scent of the Purple Fabuloso.   She's in a Cleaning Frenzy Today so I'm taking full advantage of it.  *Winks*   After a couple Hours of Housekeeping she jumps in the Pool to Cool Off, then starts again.  *LOL*    I got all my Errands done before Noon so I'm just Chillin' now until I have to pick Princess T up from Work.   Later I'll visit The Man in Hospital, it doesn't seem like they'll be releasing him Today, so, they might be running more Tests and having his Specialists review them?   He had elevated levels of Cardiac Enzymes, which is a strong indicator of Muscle damage, stress or inflammation, so, they're keeping a close Eye on him.  He'd been having Pain consistently in his Left Shoulder but thought he'd just overused it.  But, his Doc was concerned when he learned of that Symptom. 

I'm trying not to be overly alarmed prematurely, but, I know his Health is quite Fragile and now that his Brain Function isn't good either, it's difficult to know what will cause a Medical Situation first?  I'm glad they're being thorough and he has a Private Room on the Cardiac Ward and they don't have a lot of those Rooms, so good Staff Coverage there.  He has a terrific View there on the 5th Floor and they have lots of Channels on the Cable TV so he's as Happy as a Clam at High Tide, which is good, I didn't want him begging to come Home prematurely until we know it's Safe for him to.  It also gives me a Caregiver Break, which, I kinda needed for myself too.  I could tell I'd become a bit overwhelmed lately, not just with Caregiving, so many factors with the State of our Economy and our Nation right now, are in Play to make for Stress we all don't Need or Want.   I've kept Informed just enough, but don't overdose on the Bad News coming out of this White House constantly.

Can we only Hope the "Below" is Working?  *Winks*   LATER:  Well, I just got Word that The Man has to have a Heart Procedure on Friday, so he will be in the Hospital for a while.  He's got fluid build up around his Heart so they'll be doing a Catheter procedure, which seems less invasive than Heart Surgery, he's very high risk for Surgical procedures, even ordinary ones like Colonoscopy Docs won't usually perform due to his high risk factors.  So, I instantly looked up this procedure they HAVE to do.  His Cardiologist feels this will save his life so it's necessary and I don't think they'd do it if it weren't.   He seems in good Spirits in spite of not being thrilled about the news of having to have a Procedure, so I downplayed it so he'd be Calmer about having it.   With his Mental condition and cognitive decline he doesn't always understand or fully comprehend what they're telling him anyway, which is probably a good thing in this case.   He's happy to be able to order another Meal for Tonight, that was his Fixation, not the Surgery.  *Smiles*

I'm nervous only becoz he's Medically Fragile, so anything is riskier for him than usual.   So, I've had an upset Stomach all Afternoon coz I didn't have a Peace about him not coming Home yet, so I knew something had been found in the Testing done that they weren't quite telling us about yet.   Mom used to have Congestive Heart Failure and I felt like he was having similar symptoms she always had, so it was scaring me.  I didn't know how to tell the Kids, all Three of them are nervous about Dad/Grandpa anyway, especially Princess T.  So, I downplayed the Procedure and risks to her also, don't need her going off the Rails.  We'll all go visit him Tomorrow, I can't Tonight, I have to stay near a Bathroom 'til the Anti-D Meds kick in. 

 He's Okay with just The Daughter and Mando visiting him Today.  Tomorrow The Son, Princess T and I will visit.  He should have the Procedure early Friday Morning, so I took the Night Off Work.  They understood when I told them Why I needed to not Work that Day at all.  It is probably fortuitous then that he had the Bee Sting or we wouldn't have known all this was going on and deteriorating.  Sometimes Serendipity plays a part in you discovering something Bad you didn't even know was going on with your Health.   He's got so much going on with his Health that it is very hard to discern if things have gotten worse or something new has become a problem on top of all the other problems he's had Healthwise.   I'm trying to stay Calm and Centered for the sake of the Kiddos, if I'm Calm they'll remain Calmer... and so will he.   But on the Inside I Feel anything but Calm...

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Blessings, Love and light from the arizona desert... dawn... the bohemian