The Blog Post Title Hook was gleaned off an Interview about this Presidency and incapsulated it perfectly for me in a single sentence! He's only going to get better at being bad!!! Yeah, that about says it ALL. Some of MAGA are Feeling Betrayed... REALLY... well, it's not as if he's not been a Betrayer his entire Life and shown that's what he IS and always has been. But, being Deaf, Dumbfounded and Blinded by that Fact seems to have caused so many of them not to realize that until just NOW? REALLY, are you 'New'? I'm seeing some of his Podcast Bros now recanting their Support and ranting about, does he think we're Stupid? Yep, pretty much, he did, and he still does, you're Surprised? And any Conman doesn't have to be Smart either, just Smarter than those they're Conning.
I was trying to find some current Caregiving Blogs and seeing what might be slightly Helpful or Enlightening? Well, I found those I purviewed were just depressing and discouraging. I couldn't get thru a single Post without feeling very Negative about what was Written and Shared! Most of their alleged Help and Solutions had lotsa Qualifying and Disqualifying Factors. So, that's not anything 'New' and since I'm not 'New', it just made me angrier that nothing is changing and not everyone is eligible for whatever is out there. You've still got to be Flavor Of The Month. With our circumstances, there has always been some Disqualifying Factor to Qualifying for whatever is sparingly parsed out to the Eligible. Things people on Medicaid Qualify for and we don't, things people on Medicare Qualify for and we don't coz we have Medicare Advantage, things Veterans Qualify for but Spouses don't even tho' you're the Primary Caregiver they depend on.
That's just the tip of the Iceberg your Titanic Moment is gonna run into every goddamned time and I knew this, but, thought, well, let's just see if there's something I don't already know? Now, things have improved slightly in that I'm not now Raising Minor Grandchildren, the Two I Raised are Grown and can Qualify on their own for Services. They may not receive them, but, they can swing for the Fences on their own as Adults with Disabilities. Which is far more Helpful to them than it was me trying to Qualify FOR them. As their Full Time Unpaid Caregiver, Guardian as a Kinship Placement, and eventually as an Adoptive Grandparent. Each incantation of what Label I was deemed to be to them, meant a whole different System entirely to have to Deal with. Different Rules, different Qualifying Factors, different Hoops to Jump thru ad nauseum. Glad that's over. There's so much Tea I could spill about it all and what we've been put thru.
Oh wait, NOT over really, since the Special Needs Adult Kids and Special Needs Adult Grandkids all have had to move back Home and receive our Help. So, my Role as their Advocate never actually ever ended and they generally cannot navigate these rigged Systems alone. The Daughter still hasn't taken her Paperwork in yet to re-apply for 90 more Days Annually for Nutritional Assistance. It overwhelms her completely to consider The Process and she doesn't wanna risk a Mental Health Episode trying to receive Assistance. And since 90 Days isn't addressing the other 9 Months a Human needs to Eat to stay Alive, even IF she Qualified for 3 Months worth of aide for an entire Year, well, it's better than Nothing, but, still quite ridiculous and limiting, isn't it?
So, No, she can't buy any Food for herself coz she's not gainfully Employable. Unless and until Companies assume the Liability of Hiring Paranoid Schizophrenics who cannot take Psychotropics anymore due to Physical Health those Meds trashed? And, on a Good Day, getting the Seriously Mentally Ill to be 100% Functional is a Big Ask, isn't it? Whether Medicated or not, there is no Cure, and some are Higher Functional and others certainly aren't by any stretch of the Imagination. And the wide range of Disabling Factors of various Mental Health Diagnosis each have their specific limitations and manifestations that make Employment not always possible for some. The Daughter likes to Work, she has a good Work Ethic, but to keep her Demons in Check, she's rarely entirely Sober to be able to take the Edge off the Torment of her Illness. And, the unsuspecting could Trigger an Episode.
The Friends that have Hired her to do little Jobs here and there rave about how vigilant and hard working she is, she does a good job. They also know her well enuf she can tell them candidly that when she begins to Feel Unwell, that she cannot do the Work and needs a Mental Health Day, or Two... or... well, however long it takes to exit The Crazy Train, you never know. And as High Functional as The Son is and has always managed to maintain Employment, they know he's as Weird as he just is with being Autistic, ADHD and Bipolar. There's never getting around any of that. And when he's melting down he will Yell at himself and Talk to himself loudly and angrily... becoz what's going on in his Head is some Heavy and Tormenting stuff. When he was little he'd put his Hands over his Ears and tell me to turn the Noise off! Stimulus and Sensory Overload would just become too Loud for him to handle. He doesn't Qualify for a damned thing, ever. No "Help" at all, considered by The System to be a "Healthy" Single Male, go figure.
Mini Rant over... The Systems in place are only going to get better at being bad too. And I really do commend those Bloggers who are able to still find the Fluff of Life to Blog about and avoid the Heavy Topics, I just can't manage it myself. I'd like to have some real Fluffy Upbeat and Uplifting Posts during these turbulent and difficult times. I'd like to be able to just be a Fun Blogger and avoid the things that make Dear Readers uncomfortable or be just too Heavy to bear. But I've just never been able to looks past an Elephant in the Room and not SAY something. *Winks* Nope, I will be that person who openly proclaims, is nobody else Noticing this, if it's just not being addressed as there, you know? It's very Weird to me when an Elephant in the Room is being conveniently ignored, or, worse, made to appear as a Normality and Nothing To See Here. That is Surreal to me, Twilight Zone Episode worthy in fact. Like I'm living in an Alternate Universe to those folks who don't notice Elephants in the Room or act and pretend like they don't.
We just had Lifelong Friends drop by for a Surprise visit, The Daughter of one of my BFF's and some of her Children. {Her and The Daughter pictured Above} They're out here from Florida to attend a Funeral of one of her Friend's Dad who recently Passed. She also told me her Mom has Stage 4 and it's inoperable Lung Cancer. I didn't know, tho' I knew she'd been Sick, I didn't know the particulars or that it was really bad and I hadn't pried. I knew she had a Hospitalization in June, but her Youngest Daughter, who she lives with, is very guarded about what's going on Healthwise, so I didn't know. The Daughter who visited us is one of the Older Daughters and I'm closer to, so she kept it 100% and said her Sister has been like the Gatekeeper of their Mom and it's not fair to the other Siblings, coz she's their Mom too. My Friend has Five Kids, Three Daughters and Two Sons... numerous Grandkids, and she lives in Texas now with her Youngest Child and Family. I'm saddened to hear Two Days in a row now that Dear Close Friends had Cancer and I didn't even know, they hadn't said and had kept it Private.
It's always very Heavy information to process, whether they're still living or have succumbed. I've lost so many Friends and Family now, it's the hardest part of Aging, when you become some of the last left. In many ways you hold a Lifetime of Memories with everyone but so few are captured thru the Eye of the Lens. {Pix is me Above at a 25 Year High School Class Reunion, many were Dead even then of my Graduating Class! So I haven't attended any others to see the Shrinkage of whose left now, 50 Years after Graduation!?} But, I think I wouldn't necessarily tell anyone either, you don't want people to treat you differently or be morose with whatever time you have left. This Friend has had Health Scares in the past that were pretty Serious, she moved thru it, but her Daughter said this time it's really quite bad and she may Die at the Sister's Home, it's progressing rapidly now and Hospice may not even be an Option? The Youngest Sister is making decisions for their Mom and the other Siblings haven't been given any input, which has caused a lot of Family tensions. She's tried to reconcile with this Younger Sister, becoz it's important, but, there's a lot going on and all the Siblings aren't necessarily on the same Page about much of it.
This Daughter is also an Attorney for the IRS and said right now all the Government Agencies are in Crisis and had Staff cuts as much as 40%. She said the most experienced of Staff took their early Retirements rather than Work for unqualified Leaders appointed by this Administration who don't know what they're doing and creating lots of performative Politics and Drama for Employees. She's been there 15 Years and is in her 40's, so, too Young to Retire, but won't accept Promotions coz she feels most of the Upper Management are being Set Up to Pin anything that goes sideways on, I'd be in agreement with that assessment. Scapegoating with this Regime is rampant. This Gal is a True Republican, but she said the Party no longer represents those Values, also True and has metastasized into something abhorrent. It's sad for True Conservatives that their Party has been hijacked completely. Anyway, we all talked about the Old Days and reminisced, our Families have been tight for Decades now. We know all the Spilled Tea on each other. *Winks*
And then The Son just came in and told me that Rob, our Next Door Neighbor's Older Son {Pix Above}, also just got diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer!!! OMG, his Younger Brother TJ got diagnosed with it earlier this Year, so now both of them have a very grim advanced prognosis and they take Care of their Elderly Parents, who are in their Eighties, and the Property next door... so, it's a very bad situation for them. They're a lovely Family and great Neighbors, I'm greatly saddened to hear even more Bad News about good Friends in the span of just a couple Days!!! It's just a lot to Unpack and Process, I find myself Numb and lacking of any Emotion yet coz it was so much Bad News all at once about people I really Care about.
Lately some of those Friends had been on my Heart and Mind a LOT, which seemed Odd until now... now it makes sense as to the Why. I Believe close Connections and Bonds are so strong like that, you just know when there's a disturbance in The Force, if you will. Above I dredged up one of the few Blast from the Past I have of my Dad, with The Son and The Daughter when they were Kiddos. Dad didn't like having his Photo taken, most of his Generation of his Culture didn't, and his Parent's Generation, even less so. My Paternal Grandmother thought it stole part of the Soul, so she's somber, stoic and not at all Happy in the few Pixs we even have of her that she allowed. One of my Dad's Older Brothers, pictured Below with one of his many Grandchildren, was the same, he's always so Serious and Somber looking in his Photos too, we could at least get my Dad to Smile in some Photos. *LOL*
I'd been trawling Old Photo Archives to try to find some of my Friend Mike who'd Passed Yesterday. So far I'd only found one and it wasn't the desired ones I'd been looking for, which had he, my Brother and I in them, back when we were Young and the Good Times. But, the one I found was from back in da day... and a more recent one that was he and his Lovely Wife on a Cruise {Below}, they Traveled extensively and he met her in Russia, her Home Country, during one of many trips there. He Loved Russia and said that the Russian People were gracious and excellent Hosts to American Visitors. It therefore grieved him greatly that they're having to endure this War with their Neighbors in Ukraine, also a Country of gracious people, due to the Oppression of their Regime and it's Leader's Ego and Cruelty. I enjoyed the Stories he told me of his World Travels since I'd often get the Wanderlust and would tell Mike I was now Living Vicariously thru his Travels, since my Nomadic Days were long over now. *Smiles*
I'll probably locate the ones I want some other time, I just don't know what Photo Archive Folder they're in. So, I didn't take any Photos while I should have during this recent visit of Lifelong Friends either, but Thankfully she took a Trio and sent them to me just now. {See Below, they turned out good considering none of us knew we were having anyone drop by and have Photos taken, LOL.} *Whew* We had a nice visit and got caught up, it had been a while since she'd been out to Arizona. Attending a Funeral isn't the best scenario, she said lately she's been attending too many and the News she had to relay to me about her Mom she knew would be hard. Her Mom is like a Sister to me and I had few Words. In the Past her Mom has had some significant Health scares but this is not something she's expected to survive and the deterioration has been rapid. So, they expect to have to arrange her Funeral quite soon and there's a lot of Family tensions between Siblings to sort out, which is unfortunate, but, not Surprising given the Family dynamic.
The "Baby Dolls" Trio taken Today... they were inseparable as Wayward Teens, so I'm glad my Friend's Daughter snapped this recent pix of the Reunion Tour. *LOL* And they're as close as ever and still Ride or Die with one another.
This Daughter is the prosperous and sensible one, she put herself thru University and succeeded in her Career Path admirably, so, there's some jealousy of Younger Siblings that didn't do well. The Oldest Daughter was raised by an affluent Aunt in the Hamptons, she did well and Works for the CIA, but doesn't have much contact with the Younger Siblings or her Mom. The Three Youngest have had a lot of Drama thruout the Years concerning Life Choices. The Two Sons Have had serious Addictions, so, the Younger Sister wouldn't want them coming to their Mom's Funeral and that's a sticky point, they have a Right to, it's their Mom too. But, I understand the tensions when Dealing with Addicts, it's potentially a lot of Drama and a Headache and during a difficult time, everyone will already be Emotionally Raw and potentially Triggered. One of the Older Daughters is helping Raise the Child that one of the Brothers had Fathered and not been a Parent to. There's a lot going on to unpack. His Daughter has come to visit us with her Aunt each time, she's Growing into a Fine Young Woman. She knows her Dad is a Train Wreck.
The Youngest Daughter did Marry a good Man who originally was in the Military, got out, and moved back Home to Texas with his new Family, so, that's why they relocated and my Friend went with them. She raised her Kids and partly raised her Oldest Grandson until he was Eight, living between both Daughters Homes all these Years now. So, this Daughter had her half the time and now the Youngest one does. So most of the Grandkids have always been around and close to their Nanna, it's gonna be hard for them to lose her. This Daughter is a Single Parent and has always been. She holds it down and keeps it together admirably, her Oldest is Grown now, went to University, and he's the one I was her Birth Coach for when she was a very Young Teenager, his Nanna helped raise him until he was Eight. So, I'm exceedingly Proud of him, I'm his Godmother, he's a Life Flight Paramedic, pictured above with his Crew, he's the one with Dark Hair and Mustache. All her Kiddos are turning out so well, she's done a great job of Parenting a big Family as a Single Mom... and raising her Brother's Daughter too.
I've always been the "Aunty" to all my Friend's Kids, we've been thru so much together, both Families, and are Ride or Die. We know all the spilled Tea about each other and our Pasts, our Present, we'll be there for each other and the Kiddos know that. Their Mom raised them alone so she was the Matriarch and only Parent, a Widow quite Young, then a Divorcee later on, which is when we met coz I knew her Ex first, he used to Coach The Son when all our Kiddos were really, really Young. And the rest is History, with some Wild Stories spanning the Years. Her Boys loved hearing some of Aunty Dawn's Stories amount their Mom, coz there were some doozies of her and The Daughter as Teenagers lemme tell ya. Those Two were Girls Gone Wild for a time... and The Daughter joked that their Mom turned out Well anyway. *Bwahahhaha*
And their Mom jokes that's why she was such a strict Parent, so they didn't go the Wild way as she did for her wayward part of Youth. *Smiles* Her Aunt Dawn and her Mom {pictured Above} both had our Wild wayward Youth, so, they never got away with their escapades. Been there, done that, it ain't 'New', their Generation didn't invent the Wheel. *Winks* The Girls remember when her Mom and I would come looking for them. *Smiles* I was usually "The Heavy", but their Mom was pretty Crazy too. Fun Times. *Bwahahaha* In fact, my Friend used to think she was the Craziest Bitch on the Planet 'til we met, coz she's got Legendary Stories of her wayward Youth. *LOL* She was for Reals Married to the Mob in her Staten Island Years and her first Husband was murdered in a Mob hit... for a start. And until she heard my Stories, she thought she had heard it all. *Bwahahaha* Thus, we bonded, Two Crazy Bitches who'd survived a lot of epic Crazy shit that you just can't make up. We've led, let us say, Colorful Lives and had a good run in spite of it. *Winks*
The Pix her Daughter just took of the Trio, who called themselves "The Baby Dolls" back in Da Day, who I always called "The Three Musketeers" when they were Teens, coz they always got in so much Trouble together, has Amber in it, coz that Trio is tight to this day. Above is a Blast from the Past of The Daughter and Amber when they were of the Age we'd have to go looking for them Three, scouring the City for the Girls Gone Wild "Baby Dolls" Posse Trio. *Eye Roll and NOW it's Funny, not so much back then... but, it does make for some Juicy Epic Stories Now! LOL* I'm so Thankful Princess T turned out to be The Golden Child of the Four we Raised, I couldn't have gone thru all that again with a Teen Girl Grandchild. *Whew* Princess T is pretty Amazed that her Grandpa and I survived Raising her Mom, Uncle and Brother... as well as Dealing with the Oldest Daughter's wayward Youth as well when she was Buck Wild... that's a lot of Kid Drama over Two Generations!!! *Bwahahahaha*
And The Son Jokes that this is why he chose not to Father any Children, he's pretty sure there's Wild Kid Feral DNA in our Strands that could be passed along and he's not risking it? *LMAOROTF* Any time he's considered it he said he's looked at both of his Older Sisters Kids and thought, I dunno, the ratio of Golden Children to Wild Feral Ones wasn't great Odds if you were a Betting Man. *Bwahahaha* And The Young Prince and Princess T feel the same as their Uncle about the Risk Factors of Spawning Wild Feral Children. *LOL* At least we have a wicked sense of Humor about it tho'... and some Good Stories. *Winks* And I'm close to all our Grand-Kiddos, so they feel Free to tell me all their Stories too, knowing, I won't Judge and nothing they say is gonna be able to Shock me either. *Winks* Hey, I try never to get so Old I forget what it was like to be Young, Okay? And... in line with my Blog Title Hook, and full transparency, I'm only going to get better at being bad too... just sayin'. *Bwhahahahaa*
Breaking Bad in the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
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