Bohemian Valhalla: The Relic That I Am

Via: Carol Hicks-Bolton

So, after Work Friday Night I came Home with a severely Sore Throat and it's hard to eat or drink fluids... dammit... right before Thanksgiving. Yeah, I will only be eating a Hungry Man Turkey TV Dinner, but, still!!! I have had my Flu Shot and my COVID Booster. Which is a good thing considering the incoming Administration and what they'd like to do away with Healthwise and Benefits Wise for us Peons and Undesirables, even the Earned Benefits. Which, to be Fair, have been eroded or suspended by other Administrations if you're a Military Career Family, so, it's not 'New' to have even Earned Benefits taken away and screwing you over. I'm sure in the Civilian Sector you have your grievances about that too.

So, I'm dosing myself with over-the-counter Meds that alleviate Sore Throat Symptoms, feel Okay so far otherwise, but, could be the onset of something that could worsen? I'm Hopeful it's not Strep Throat coz that will take Medical intervention and being Tested for it. So, if it worsens I'll have to see a Doctor and get Tested to ensure I don't need Antibiotics? I don't want or need complications, I'm an Insulin Diabetic, so my System doesn't fight off shit as easily now. I wanted to just go back to Bed after taking Princess T to Work but by the time I rolled back Home The Man was now up with the Bedroom TV on. *Le Sigh* I may have to kick him out and into the Livingroom so I can just Rest.

Sometimes his inability to keep normal Hours due to his Dementia is disruptive to my Sleep Patterns. He's wandering around like a Lost Soul and I instinctively Check In on him to make sure he is not ignoring his Safety Prompts when he's not Supervised and we're all Asleep? The Sundowners is brutal so by Dusk he always deteriorates. Sometimes when doing Environmental Cleanup he will ignore his Safety Prompts or Forget them. At least he Pretends to have 'Forgotten' when he gets in Trouble for disobeying them and putting himself at Risk. *Eye Roll* He Loves going, so the punishment is to end it immediately and take him Home, like you would a Toddler whose begun to misbehave and deregulate their behavior to be safe enuf for them.

Example, last time we went he was clearly on a Roll of ignoring what he knows he has to do. I always Remind him before we start, and keep Reminding him at Intervals. So, when he immediately sneaks and does something to ignore Safety Prompts, that's it, no more Fun, I'm taking your Ass Home before you go and get Hurt! *Winks* He is supposed to stay on level ground and not try to go get Cans down Ditches and uneven areas he could take a Fall. I know already now that should he Fall, I can't get him up anymore by myself. He can't Help himself and cooperate anymore and is like a 240 lb. Bag of Rocks! So, we'd stopped to Cleanup a stretch of Roadside, I Reminded him to avoid the Flood Runoff Ditch, also filled with Brambles and such, stay on the level Roadside.

Well, in a few Minutes his Brightly Colored Outfit I'd put him in to keep Track of him easier, disappeared! Ruh Roh. I'm calling out to him and looking for him and no Answer, sheeyit! Then all of a sudden I see a Brightly Colored Cap just above the Flood Runoff Ditch... fuuuuck! Yep, he'd gone down into it and now was struggling to get out! He wasn't yelling out to answer me or ask for Help, coz he didn't wanna be in Trouble, he damned well knew what he did! *Eye Roll* So I'm standing a ways off Glaring at him and he finally struggled out of the Ditch and comes toddling back to me by the Truck with a Broken Picker Stick!!! Coz he'd used it to help himself out of the Ditch... this is Broken Picker Stick No. 6 now!!! I'm still using the Original One I've ever used!

He comes toddling over with the Broken Picker Stick waving it in the air, the Grabber part hanging by a fucking Wire now, saying "Look...", and I'm like, "Yep, you broke another one, didn't you... now get in the Truck, we're going Home before you break yourself next!" He was petulant and quiet the whole ride Home, but, it's the only way to get him into compliance. *Le Sigh but LOL* If he doesn't get to do his Fun Stuff when he can't follow his Safety Prompts, then, it's the Cause and Effect Method of attempting to be modifying inappropriate Behavior so he does better next time and stays Safe. It works pretty good, but some Days he's incapable of good Behavior. Yep, he's now 73 going on 3.

So, we haven't gone out to do that again, since I think we're all out of Grabbers now. I'd bought a slew of less expensive ones when a Dollar General had them. Since, he's breaking them regardless of what I Pay, so, whatever. When he asks if we can go do it, I'm like, Nope, we can't, you broke all your Grabbers now, since you abuse them and don't follow your Safety Prompts. And I will let that sink in for a while before we Reset and Start Over with Fresh Chances. *Winks* I know, it seems Mean, but, it's for his own good. I don't mind taking him out to do things that benefit him in so many ways. But he has to follow directions that keep him Safe, otherwise, we just can't do them anymore. I have to be assured he's still capable at least most of the time, you know?

As a Caregiver you realize the Idiosyncrasy of each Family Member requiring some Caregiving tho'. The Daughter will often get up in the middle of the Night and Cook a Big Meal and then just leave it sitting around mostly uneaten, the Kitchen now a mess, and just go back to Bed and back to Sleep. I'm not even sure she's fully Awake when she's doing it, so, when I Smell Food at an Odd Hour, I have to get up and Check on her too. Princess T was angry this Morning coz she'd taken one for the Team and Cleaned the Kitchen before Bedtime. And her Mom had gotten up at about 2:00 a.m. and Cooked a Big Meal... most of it still in the Pans, a Sink full of Dishes, Food spilled on the Floor!

Her Uncle is up before she is for his Work, so he says she tells him he HAS to say something to her Mom about it, and Hopefully before Gramma finds out what the Kitchen looks like and Freaks Out? Too late, I'd Smelled the Cooking in the middle of the Night, and knew that when I did Wake Up, I'd be running damage control behind Sleepwalker Iron Chef. *Bwahahaha* So, I put the Food away, it Smells Divine, so, at least now I don't hafta Cook and everyone could have Breakfast Burritos. Ya gotta see the Silver Linings to preserve your Sanity my Friends. *Winks* And, she won't remember she even did it when confronted, and she Cleans constantly, so, would Clean it up even tho' she's not Aware she even did it.

Princess T was Bitchy becoz she stepped in whatever got spilled on the Floor and saw that Sink full of Dirty Dishes... and Food just sitting out everywhere. And. Lost. Her. Shit! *LOL* She does remind me that if something happens to me, God Forbid, she doesn't think she could be her Mom's Caregiver and her Uncle will just have to do it, she's his Sister. *LMAOROTF* She said she could take care of Grandpa, so, apparently they each get one, should my demise happen... hey, it's Coverage... so... Okay... whatever... draw Straws, whatever Works! *Bwahahaha* And, it's not like either of them is Right either Mentally, they each have Special Needs too, so, it would be Interesting. *Winks*

Princess T Loves her Big Brother, but, she's got her concerns that he's coming back Home and now that's One More to require Caregiving. She didn't like Allen, but, felt he was taking one for the Team, so, she Tolerated him, coz he was taking good Care of her Big Brother and thought mebbe they could work it out. Well, I always, in the back of my Mind, felt, it might for a while, but, given they'd both Lived with us for well over a Year, I could see the Cracks and Weight of Caregiving being probably Too Much, given Allen had his own profound Disabilities. I think he meant well, but, it was just Too Much and eventually he folded. You gotta know when to Hold 'em and know when to Fold 'em... know when to Walk Away, and know when to Run... as Kenny Rogers said. *Bwahahahaha*

If you're gonna Play the Game, Boy, you gotta Learn to Play it Right! *Winks* Caregiving is not for the Faint of Heart and the Cavalry ain't coming either. So... you better be Solid or it's gonna do you in fast, Kick your Ass, and if you're not All In and Tough as Old Boots too, you won't Last. Anyway, so, it's a motley Crew here and we do the best we can with what Hand we've been Dealt. There's some Good Days and you know there will be Bad Ones too, it's a Given. I got the Kitchen cleaned up and the Food put away for later, so, there's no Trouble in Paradise for now. *Winks* The Upside is, if I can soothe this Sore Throat I can make myself a tasty Breakfast Burrito with what she Cooked at like Two in the fucking Morning! *LOL*

I also got the NetFlix Gift Card Bought, some of The Daughter's Friends had pitched in so we could Buy a $50 one, they all come over to watch it with us, so made Donations. *LMAO* So, no interruption now in having NetFlix for Entertainment when we're mostly staying Home during the Holidays. Well, other than Working outside of the Home when we're pulling Shifts. I picked up a bunch of extra Fill In Shifts for early December, during their Sales. Management asked me to Work them and said IF I decide to drop some if I can't do that many when the time comes, it'll be Okay, so, I accepted them all. They know shit at Home can turn on a Dime with the Caregiving, so... they still offer me more Shifts than I want and know I may have to dump some if something comes up.

Since The Daughter isn't Working and I only pick up Night Shifts, so both The Son and Princess T Work Days, it works out for Coverage of The Man. But, let's face it, even then, it's Challenging for all of them to make it Work. *Bwahahaha* How many People with Disabilities does it take to look after another Person with Disabilities? A Whole Village. *Winks* And, when faced with the Prospectus of what it would Cost the State to do what we all do without Pay, a truly Astronomically Stratospheric amount Monthly and difficulty with appropriate Placement at all... well, they really would rather not Weigh In and try to find Alternative Placements on their Dime. You'll be Fine... is their Take on it all. *Bwahahaha* Institutions have had Trouble with All of us... so... leave 'em alone is now their Take. *LMAOROTF*

Princess T got off Work an Hour earlier than usual, she rousted me out of my Sickbed to go get her. I've just been Sleeping after taking Meds for my Sore Throat, they're helping me to be able to swallow now and eat Soft Food and drink Fluids. *Whew* She told me I Smell like a Nursing Home... oy vey... Young People's Filters are woefully absent, huh? *LOL* So, other than Smelling like Old People when I'm Sick, I'm Fine. *Bwahahahahaha* I turned on a bit of The News, the Cabinet of Chaos continues, I don't even know what to even feel the least bit Hopeful for actually, so no Optimism, even Guarded, is mustered yet... if at all ever with the whole Insane Clown Posse. The Revolving Door of his Picks for Trump 2.0, is already spinning. Some aren't lasting a full Scaramucci.

One Guy said it best, that when you're in a Room full of Tiny People, even those with Average Height look like Giants. Yeah, we're just relieved at this point when the absolute worst aren't being seriously considered, so that the worst possible instincts of 45/47 aren't completely unopposed. But, we all know he'll Cycle thru anyone who challenges his judgment and Omnipotence Complex. He acts as tho' he's still on a cheesy Reality Show like Celebrity Apprentice and seems intent on Leading the Country as if it's just that much of a parallel to an outrageously unrealistic Pretend Show that is totally Staged for Ratings. And, let's face it, the Ratings must be decent for his Targeted Audience, or he'd never have been Voted in.

I will, however, Note and say it's VERY Telling that his most rabid Supporters that I happen to know in Real Life are saying NOTHING about their Win or Politics at all now. Very Interesting. They were always so Vocal, now, Silence. And avoiding the Topic completely. Very Odd I thought. One would think they'd be in giddy celebratory mode, but, they're NOT. Humnnnn, perhaps Reality is actually setting in about what they've done and will be responsible and complicit for? Who knows, I don't. But, enough of that, it's a complete Buzzkill and Downer. Nothing Positive coming of it. *Le Sigh* I do still think America is quickly falling from within, don't know it can be prevented or not? It will take a Whole Society Approach to counter all of this.

Today is the end of the Pay Period at our Antique Mall and I'm close to squeaking by to MAYBE get a Check instead of breaking even or owing. It's pathetic right at the Holidays to be this Flat in Sales, but, I'm not the Lone Ranger and I know this. I'm going to keep piping along since at the present time I've got no alternatives that would offer me a possible income stream to supplement an already strained fixed income budget. And... once the Tariff's hit, well, perhaps people will then HAVE to Buy what is already here becoz Imports will be priced too high or not be coming in at all. I'm not FOR Tariff's, but, I'll need to offset paying higher Pricing due to them with Selling more of my shit that's already here in America, so... whatever. America chose Fascism and Crazy over Democracy and Sanity, so... we'll see how that works out for them.

Everyone went to Bed early and since I stayed in Bed Sleeping all day, I'm now the only one awake but my Throat is feeling much better. So, I'm Hopeful it was a One Day thing I had... we'll see how I Feel by Tomorrow? It meant I could eat a light Dinner, take my Oral Diabetic Meds and drink Fluids without it being painful, and for that I'm Grateful. *Whew* I got all my Christmas Cards done, not that I have many anymore compared to previous Years. People have either Died Off or been Dropped Off of the Card List since few exchange Cards anymore for the Holidays. I know, I'm the last of the Dinosaurs that still likes to, the Relic that I am. *Winks* I had some Cute Cards this Year and had enuf of them, plus enuf Christmas Forever Stamps I'd picked up probably last Year and still had stashed in the Holiday Card Drawer.

I do have to make a Post Office Run next Week tho', before the Holiday Rush, to restock up on Postage Stamps, before it's Bananas in there. I avoid a lot of places AT the Holidays coz I simply don't wanna Deal with the Crowds and the Madness of it all. I like to enjoy a Zen Holiday Season and so only focus on the Positive and Pleasant parts of Celebrating it. Not exposure to the Chaos and Dealing with folks who lack the Holiday Spirit entirely and are their worst versions of themselves during it. When I used to Ring the Bell for the Salvation Army's Kettle Brigade, you'd get folks truly angry and upset that you Smiled and Wished them well for the Holidays... somehow that Offended them. Also, some were Offended we were taking Voluntary Donations for the less fortunate during the Holidays. *Eye Roll*

And, they always feel compelled to tell you how Offensive they think all of it is to them. *Super Eye Roll* Killing them with Kindness always made them look like the complete Assholes they truly are, in front of an Audience. Becoz if some Jerk wants to make a Scene Publicly and be a Spectacle, thinking it will be at my expense, I'll Play the Game. *Snickers* I remember one particularly Pretentious and clearly Affluent Karen with an Attitude being Passive Aggressive about it in front of a Hobby Lobby I was ringing the Bell at one Christmas. And I know the Hobby Lobby tends to attract a lot of alleged 'Christian' Churchy Religious Alt Right folk. So it's always Interesting to see how many actually Walk the Walk and not just Talk the Talk and aren't just Pious Posers and Pretenders. *Winks*

She had Two Young Boys and decided to make a HUGE Production out of giving them a PENNY EACH to put in my Kettle, but, not before she asked me to fully Explain first to them what Good Works we'd be doing with that 'generous' Donation they were making!!! Oh, Yeah, it was ON! *Bwahahaha* Major Medina of the Salvation Army Chapter I was working for had just pulled up to exchange Kettle's and she KNOWS me, so she couldn't wait for my response. *Giggle* In fact, by then, since the Woman was holding up everyone else wanting to Donate to my Kettle, we had quite an Audience Building around us. Clearly this Karen was reveling in it, assuming she'd be basking in Adoration or something... and the Center of Attention while making her Spectacle? *Oh Honey, she had no Idea what she was in for! Smiles*

My response went something like this, as I Smiled Broadly at her and made direct Eye Contact with each of her Boys, "I am SO GLAD you are SO Interested in Learning about our Important Charitable Work to Support and Aide our Community. We so NEED and Appreciate People like YOU to do our Volunteer Work! Here is our Toll Free Number to Sign Up as a Volunteer and here is our Director, I'll now Introduce you to, so that you can get better acquainted with what you'll be Involved with and get ALL the Details!" She had those Kids throw those Two Pence into my Kettle so fucking fast as she made the fastest Exit Stage Left without Words you've probably ever seen!!! Yeah, that shut her the fuck up fast! *Bwahahahaha*

The Audience was Laughing, Cheering and Clapping, Major Medina gave me a Huge Smile and a Thank You... I know how to Take Down and get rid of a Disruptor. We knew what she was doing and it Shamed her in front of her own Children. I'm sure they had Questions for their Mama once she hastily loaded them all up in their Car and sped off!!! *Bwahahaha* Don't be some Fake Bitch and try to cause a disruption in what other folk are actually Doing to Improve their Communities and Imagine you're some kind of Critic with a Lesson for any of us. Expecting Volunteers spending their precious Holiday Time to Help others, to jump thru Hoops and 'perform' for her arrogance, IN ORDER to receive her paltry Two Penny Donation... PLEEEEASE!!!! Thankfully most who Donate do it in the Right Spirit and with Joy, as it should be. If you don't wanna Donate, just walk on by, it's not so hard, it's a Voluntary Gesture to Give, it's not Mandatory dont'cha know?!

Anyway, I don't Volunteer at the Kettle's anymore coz I can't Stand in one place for Eight Hours nowadays. It is harder to than you might think while you wave a Bell up and down and in all Weather. I am Happy to say that during the Years that I did it tho', I was one of the Top Earners for their Locations they sent me to, the Public seemed to Like me. And many folks came by regularly to Donate to my Kettle. So I got to Know a lot of the really benevolent Members of our Community, who in basic Anonymity, are Generous Givers who don't need or want anyone to know how Philanthropic they are or who they are. And it's not just Christians who Give to Christian Based Charities either. I had many Faiths and those of no Religion be just as Generous to what they knew to be a good and worthy Cause for the Community. The Saffron Robed Buddhist Monks always gave Generously when they came by to do their Grocery Shopping and I'd be positioned at a Local Grocery Store nearest their Temple.