I'll explain shortly in the Post why it's gonna be a Dark One. First tho', I had to Share this Pix of a 1967 Olds 70-X Toronado, since, I've never actually seen one in person, so, didn't know they even existed. Really radically cool Design inside and out, tho' it only gets 12 miles per Gallon, so, probably why you don't see any on the Road these days? *LOL* And, many were Custom made and limited production. But, as far as Vintage Futuristic looking Sports Muscle Cars go, this is Primo!!! Jay Leno has one and I'm sure they're all in Private High End Collections, those that still exist. So, starting my Post with Muscle Car Vintage Eye Candy sets a good tone, even tho' I woke up Saturday Morning not feeling Well at all. *Le Sigh* I won't even go into the Gallow's Humor about how having The Shits halts any Fun you might have scheduled or planned for the Weekend. *Winks* But, I can give you some hilarious Halloween Decorations Visuals from a Video Clip someone Shared with me and I took some Stills of, it's Brilliant! *Bwahaha*
I have no idea what set off this Episode since I haven't had an Appetite for Days due to my Sour Stomach and haven't eaten much. But, now I have to stay near a Bathroom and that sucks coz Today is the 2nd Annual Halloween Event at CURIOUS NATURE, which is an Oddities Shop in Downtown Phoenix. We missed the 1st Annual Event last Year becoz when we got there, no Parking for Miles, it was that well attended! I had The Man in tow and he can't Walk for Miles, so, we just aborted the Mission to attend and went Home. Now, with my "Issue", unless it subsides, with the help of Anti-D Meds, I couldn't risk it... dammit! They often Host unusual Events and Classes. Recently they had a Tea Leaf Reading Class and I would have liked to of been in on that, since my Mom used to Read Tea Leaves. I grew up seeing her doing such things and so I'd have been Interested to see how this Instructor did it, compared to Dear Ole Mom's Didi Kai Methods? *Smiles*
The 27th will be the 8th Anniversary of my Dear Mom Passing, I still miss her and Dad so much. He passed almost a Decade earlier, he was 74 and she was 84 when they Crossed Over from Time into Eternity. The Odd thing being, he was never Sick a Day in his Life, I kid you not, he missed One Day of Work ever, from having Broken Ribs, not Sickness. I never saw my Dad get usual Sickness that people often experience. Whereas she was Sickly all her Life, yet, she lasted a lot longer, go figure. Dad used his own Homemade Tribal Remedies for everything too, whereas Mom was quite reliant on Western Medicine, which, Dad and I never liked and didn't Trust at all. She'd also use Eastern Medicine, since her Dad was Raised by a Chinese Family and so she grew up with Chinese Methods of Healing as well. I Trust Eastern and Tribal Medicine, it aides the Body to do what it does Naturally... your Body wants to Heal, you don't have to tell it to try to, it's Designed to attempt to repair itself Naturally.
Now for some Food Porn, I've had a lot of good Imagery of that lately that I want to Share and at Special Requests from Dear Readers, will try to in each Post. *Winks* This is a Pineapple Chicken Curry Dish. I Love a good Curry, all of them. I'm particularly fond of Thai Curry Recipes, but, East Indian and Pakistani ones are Classic. I just don't eat much East Indian Cuisine, except for Naan. I will try most Dishes at least once, twice if I like it, but, am not as familiar with some Cuisines as the ones I grew up eating regularly. I grew up eating a lot of Asian Cuisine so I'm just more familiar with it and what I like of it. Thai and Vietnamese are my favorite, I like most Chinese too. Not a big Fan of Japanese or Korean food tho'. I do like most Polynesian Food I've tried and there's more of it Locally now that a larger Population of Polynesian and Melanesian Islanders from Hawaii, Fiji, Tonga and American Samoa have moved to Arizona and brought their rich Cultures with them.
Even tho' I can't eat a damned thing right now, since it would just run thru me, looking at tasty Food Porn is still enjoyable. I have no Appetite anyway whatsoever and haven't had for Days, so I don't even know how anything is still left in my System, honestly? I'm sure glad Princess T's Work is just half a Block from Home, so I can get her there on a quick turnaround this Morning! My Stomach is making those Horror Movie type noises loudly! *LOL* Luckily I was Fine all of Yesterday so my Shift Friday Night was uneventful. In fact, it was boring, just like Thursday Night had been. I had Strong Sales for Friday, but, the Mall was pretty deserted, so, I was just fortunate whoever was there was Buying and chose some of my Merch to Purchase. *Whew* We had barely over 200 People thru the Door, which is dismal and way less than half the usual flow of Customers. The usual flow for a Weekend would be around 800-900, just for perspective. On a Sale Day, over 1,000.
I know, I know, it's a pretty Dark Post, since, I'm not Feeling 100% and so my Mood is as Sour as my Stomach feels right now. *LOL* I feel like these Stomach Bugs are going around and no Idea where we're picking them up and keep picking them up? Of coarse it is The Season for every transmittable Illness out there, isn't it? Now that I'm not Isolating at Home the exposure is higher... and, we are a 3 Generation Family, so the 2 Younger Gens are out and about around People a lot more than The Man and I are. We're still pretty Solitary Seniors in our Habits, we like doing things out in Nature and not necessarily around a lot of other People. And even when we go places like Restaurants or Shopping, we avoid the more crowded venues, mostly since The Man easily gets Sensory Overload and does have a Fragile Medically compromised Situation going on all the time. So, I don't like to expose him to any unnecessary risk factors Healthwise.
He seems Fine, so I Hope whatever I have isn't contagious? Princess T and I seem to be the only ones suffering from whatever it is, The Son and The Man haven't gotten whatever it is. Well, I got her to Work with no Incident, yay! Small Victory, perhaps the Meds are working? *LOL* I got all my Morning Errands accomplished, Kiddo to Work, Cat Fed and Litterbox cleaned, Fish Fed... so, now all I have to do is Chill and feel better. *Smiles* Yes, the Housekeeping is still somewhat deferred, just cluttery, not unclean, and all Dishes are Washed since The Offender of Dirty Dishes won't be back from Mexico 'til 2025. *LOL* The Son, Princess T, The Man and I always Clean as we go in the Kitchen, so, it never backs up... this is NOT her Habit. And, she won't even drink out of the same Glass twice!!! *Le Sigh* But, we do miss her and she's Homesick as Hell right now, so she gets Emotional every time we have a Video Chat with her. She is liking the Serenity and Boredom of our Home Life. *Yay, that's Progress for her.*
You have to remember that The Daughter has always lived her Teen and Adult Life on the Razor's Edge, so, this is remarkable that she is gravitating to our Lifestyle now she's in her 40's. I'm relieved, it was necessary to keep her Safe and on Track, maintain her Sobriety from a Dangerous Drug Lifestyle that was adverse to being Well and Stabilized. She said prolonged Sobriety has been a huge transition, she's seeing and experiencing Life thru Fresh Eyes and a Fresh Clearer Filter now, only Clouded by her Mental Illness, but not Magnified or Dulled by Drug Use. She still Drinks, but has cut back to Two Mike's Hard Lemonades Daily, which, helps with the Schizophrenia some, since, it takes The Edge Off. I think complete Sobriety might be difficult for her since there is no Cure for her Serious Mental Illness Conditions and it's something she will have to just Live with all her Life as best she can. She is concerned about her Kiddos there seeing her during unstable Episodes, they haven't been around her enuf to Witness those before. She Hopes it doesn't upset or scare them?
Princess T has handled them well actually, so perhaps her Younger Sisters will be equally resilient and compassionate? Princess T instantly realized and recognized, when her Mom came to live with us about 3 Years ago, that there would have been no way her Mom could have Raised and taken Care of Children successfully. She told me she doesn't even know how her Mom has Survived without a Caregiver, given her Condition?! I guess she always Wondered, even tho' her Older Brother didn't, since he has the same Diagnosis as his Mom, so he was well Aware that it's not conducive to having Children in your Care or even Caring for yourself without some Help. This is why he doesn't want Children and convinced Allen they should not even try to get approved to Adopt. I know he's Right about that and he doesn't miss being Childless, tho' I think Allen might.
But, The Son is like Allen, he would have liked to have had Biological Children and a Family. But given his own Mental Health Diagnosis, and Substance Abuse Past, it just isn't fair to Children to have a Parent with that much Baggage and risk passing any of that along Genetically. He helped his Ex Raise her Three Kids and Loved being a surrogate Dad, he Adored those Girls. Since their Dad was hardly ever in the picture, so, he was the closest thing to a Dad they had, besides their Maternal Grandfather and Maternal Uncle. He misses them a lot, but feels he'd be best not trying to be a Parent again, he was a good Provider, but not the best Role Model and was Aware of that Fact. I think Allen might be a good Dad, he's a good Provider and seems really good with Children, his little Niece absolutely Adores her Uncle.
But, The Young Prince is not good with Children, he doesn't even Like Children. Neither does Princess T, they annoy her and she doesn't think they're Cute enuf to tolerate either. She said she'd be perfectly Fine being The Childless Cat Lady that JD is so critical about. *Bwahahaha* She's very Strict with Eli The Cat, so, perhaps it's for the best? *Winks* I always hear her wailing from her Room, "Stop Eli!!! NO, Eli!!! Look what you've done now, Eli!!!" *Bwahahahahaha* And I go in there to Mediate and she's got Resting Bitch Face and Eli has that mischievous look in his Eyes, like he's intentionally Winding Up his Human Mom and Delighting in it! He only Behaves when I walk in, coz I say nothing, I just lock Eyeballs with him, he squints, rolls over exposing his Belly, says a few things in the Language of his People, and that's always Enough for that Rascal of a Cat into submission, obedience and behaving. *Ha ha ha* But, he is a Problem Child Fur Baby with Attitude. *Smiles*
I've been snagging some good Halloween Graphics off Pinterest, and The Graphics Fairy Blog from way back in 2013 Posts, as well as Google Images. I had heard Industry Rumors that The Graphics Fairy was Monetizing her Blog so Successfully back in Blogging Heyday, that she was pulling in Thousands per Month! I've never Monetized my Blog, but many did and had Ads galore and did Profit off their Blogging like it was a Business. I'm not opposed to Biz Blogs, but, I do see most have ceased and moved on to other newer and more popular Media Sites now. I don't have a Printer anymore but, I do enjoy still Saving some in my Photo Archives that I particularly like. I do miss some of the Blogs that used to attend all the Events and Shows Nationally, I could go vicariously via their Blogs to places I might never Cross Off the Ole Bucket List. *Le Sigh* On the Canvas of my Imagination I went to them all tho'. *Winks* As a full time Caregiver, I knew the Odds of actually going were slim next to none tho'. And, I'm Okay with that.
I'd rather have The Man keep Piping along and be my Lifelong Companion than to be traipsing the Globe and Crossing Off Bucket List items. I would like to make it to No. One on that List tho', Bora Bora. The Young Prince has told me since he was little, that he'd pay for me to go there if he ever got the Money together to Fund it, Bless him, he really means that too, so the Sentiment alone is Priceless to me. Brings a Tear to my Eye actually, and who knows, he might just pull it off, you never know? I did have Two Friends that did go there, my Friend and Co-Worker at the DA's Office, Bess, she went to Bora Bora and Tahiti, told me the former was worth it, the latter was not. And my Friend Al, who is Retired Military and I think has gone there several times, he's Single, No Kids, has the Money and Freedom to Travel extensively and indulge his every Fantasy Trip anywhere and everywhere.
This is a Blast From the Past Pix of Al and I back in the 1970's... on a Road Trip to Cali... where me and Three of my Male GI Friends went so we could go to Disneyland, me for the first and last time. Disneyland was Cool and all, but I never have warmed up to Cali. We almost got Arrested our first Day there coz the Drinking Age in Arizona was 18 and in Cali it was 21 and we didn't realize that! The Cop was Cool about it, saw that they were Active Duty Military Guys and I had an AZ License Plate on my Maverick Grabber, which the Guys had Named "The Creamsicle". So, the Cop just made us dump out our Beers and inform us of the Drinking Age difference in that State. I was the only one not drinking, but, wouldn't have wanted to Post Bail for Three of my Friends so they wouldn't get in trouble with their Commanding Officers. *Whew* That's not even MY T-Shirt I'm wearing, so who knows whose it was, I'm not a Pepper, don't like Dr. Pepper, so probably a Friend loaned it to me as a Joke?! Or left it at my Apartment after a Party? *LMAOROTF*
While looking up some Blast From The Past Photos I came across a couple of Favorite ones of our Oldest Daughter when she was in her 20's. She's a Gramma now of Five, Time sure Flies, doesn't it? I still remember as a Teenager she knew Jon Bon Jovi and her aspiration was to be a Hair Stylist for Rock Bands. Our Girls were the Wild Child Daughters. *LOL* She ended up being a Corporate Executive instead, Wiser Career Path, and represented several big Japanese Companies and arranged all their International Travel. She took an Early Retirement from it all to Raise our Grandchildren, her Three Daughters. I remember her Calling me to get my Advice about giving up a thriving Career to Raise a Family and I told her your Children will only ever be Young Once, you'll have fewer regrets making Family your highest priority over Career. If you're really good at what you do, they'll wait for you to come back into whatever Industry you excelled at and rose to the top of meteorically. She followed that Advice and never regret it and now runs her own Businesses again since the Kiddos are all Grown.
Now Below is a recent Pix of her Oldest Daughter and Husband, who have reached Middle Age... my how Time Flies Fast! I remember when this Grandchild was Born, The Son was still in Grade School, he's only 7 Years Older than his Niece, so, he HATED her calling us Gramma and Grandpa! *LOL* He said we couldn't be called that until we both had White Hair! *Bwahahahaha* Well, I'd still be waiting then. And reminded him that my Dad Died at 74 with Blue Black Hair and no Grey or White... so, Genetically, there's a 50-50 chance I won't ever get the White Mantle bestowed??? *Winks* My Mom got Silver Hair that was gorgeous and early, in her 30's, so did my Brother, and he was more Fair Complexion like my Mom, so, he Inherited those Matriarchal Genes, apparently I Inherited more of the Patriarchal Genes from Dad's side?
Both of my Parents had Blue Black Hair the color of a Raven's Wing, my Brother too, and all of my Grandparents had Blue Black Hair on both sides of the Family as well. I Loved the Color of my Families Hair and always Wished I'd had it too, it made me stand out in Family Shots since, I looked like the Odd one out. People always asking me when I was growing up, was I Adopted? Especially when visiting my Dad's People on the Rez, well, I looked like The Snowflake and only shared the swarthier complexion than the average White Person. *LOL* So my Hair Color was a Recessive Gene anomaly I was told came from an Irish Great-Great-Grandfather on my Nanna's side, who was a Redhead. Genetics has always fascinated me. The Dominant Genes prevail, but if you have that Recessive in the Woodpile, it pops up every once in a while since it's passed along, but doesn't always show up that often. *Smiles*
I'm going to Miss doing all of the Fall Activities with The Daughter, she likes doing all the same things that I enjoy doing, the rest really don't. She's been my Sidekick now ever since she moved back Home and I have enjoyed it tremendously, as has she. She was a turbulent Teen and Young Adult, so a chasm Relationally developed between us due to that, but, now she's Middle Aged, we get along so well and she swears she's "Turning Into Me" and we Laugh becoz she was really close to her Nanna, my Mom, and I definitely "Turned Into Mom", so, she said it's like hanging out with her Dear Nanna all over again. She wasn't able to be in America when her Nanna Died, and she really was distraught over that. She wasn't able to be here when my Dad Died too, since she was in Mexico then as well... and we often Reminisce about Gran-Gran and Nanna. My Parents Adored their Grandchildren, mine were the only ones they got to know since my Brother's Sons were Raised by his Exes.
My Stomach is still making Crazy Rumblings, so, I still can't risk leaving the House or not having a Bathroom close by... dammit. As the Morning is wearing on I'm getting Hangry too... which, is another risk I'm not sure I wanna take... eating? But, I do have to take my Insulin Shot and Oral Diabetic Meds and doing so on an empty Stomach makes you Queasy anyway, so, I'll have to take the Chance I guess, or risk feeling even worse if I Fast on the Medications. *Le Sigh* The Man is always a big Pain in the Ass when I'm not Feeling Well, I think it Scares him any time I get Sick. But that means he has Angry Outbursts for no apparent reason, since, Anger is usually Fear in disguise. So, he's been Emotionally Raw all Morning and I'm just not in the Mood to put up with it. In Caregiver Mode, when you're not Well either, you really need for those you're responsible for Caring of all the time, to just Knock it Off and cut you a Break for a Minute.
So, Dark Dawn had to come out to Play and tell him to just Knock it Off coz he was being Unlovely and flying off the handle over ridiculous trifles. He's watching some Funniest Videos Show in the Livingroom and as The Son walked thru they were showing Clips of Women trying to bust Watermelons with their Boobs! So, he just jokingly says, "Dad, what ARE you watching?!", in good humor, but, The Man got defensive and had a hissy fit so I had to warn him to Calm the Fuck Down, our Son was just Joking, nobody Cares what Show he's watching and we know it's just a series of ridiculous Clips... nothing to get upset or excited about. *Huge Eye Roll* So, he's pouting now coz I came down on him for being an Asshole about it and yelling for no reason. The Son doesn't like to be around his Dad when the Dementia makes him get Angry about anything or everything and confrontational. He wants to be respectful of his Elders, but, you can't allow Bad Behavior, there's never a good Excuse for Bad Behavior.
So, I usually then have to handle The Man's Outbursts so they don't escalate and he gets irrationally Angry and difficult to Manage. Princess T and The Daughter are pretty adept at it too, he responds better to Female Caregiving than Male Caregiving. So, the Girls can Manage him better than The Son, and why I rarely ask our Son to help with Caregiving Duties of his Dad, it's just too potentially confrontational. Allen and The Young Prince found it impossible to Deal with Grandpa effectively either, so it definitely was a Male Caregiver barrier. At the VA we had similar Issues and most of the Mental Health and Nursing Home Caregivers for the VA were Big burly Males, so, they failed to Manage or Mediate The Man's Episodes he would have after his TBI... which, now he has Dementia too, have become more frequent and elevated. Dementia is a tricky Illness to Manage, it makes those afflicted uncharacteristically Aggressive or Agitated.
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Princess T and The Daughter know that Heaven Forbid, something happen to me first, The Man would not be able to find suitable or even affordable Placement that would even take him. They would end up having him in their Care and Hopefully me not being around wouldn't make it harder? After his TBI no Long Term Care Facilities, Civilian Nursing Homes, including the VA Old Soldier's Homes, would even consider Placement, they said he was too High Maintenance, too expensive, and they didn't have the Staffing or Funding to handle a Resident like him. His background in Special Forces does make him a high risk Individual for a lot of reasons if he's not in his Right Mind and is no longer capable of discerning what is a Threat and what is really not. I know our VA Caseworkers said it was a good thing he responds so well to me and seems subdued by my Methods of correcting his Behavior when it's not okay. He has a Healthy Respect for Dark Dawn's dire Warnings. I'm not Playing. *Winks*
Usually I just have to remind him that it's always HIS Choice whether he gets Dawn Of The Light... or... her Evil Sister Dark Dawn... so, choose Wisely. *Bwahahahaha* The one and only time he seemed not quite able to control his Anger, I just told him he better use all his Mad Skills the USMC Special Forces taught him Motherfucker, coz I bow down to no Man and he'd be Sleeping with one Eye Open and Watching his Back otherwise. It Calmed him right the Fuck Down coz I meant every Word of it and he knows that. I Love him with all my Heart and will do anything for him and to Protect him, but the only way to keep him Safely at his own Home is to be able to be his Full Time Caregiver without it being a Risk to the Family or myself... so, he has to keep that firmly in his Addled Mind or he'll end up somewhere else... I'll just dump his Ass off and tell them "Good Luck with this and I Hope it all Works Out."
Since, that's how they sent me off with him when they wouldn't assume the Responsibility last time and I couldn't meet him at his Point of Need yet. They frankly didn't give a fuck about the Welfare and Safety of him, the Kiddos or I and it was painfully obvious that The System fails anyone in our Situation. It's a National Disgrace actually and I don't see anyone trying to improve The System regarding Long Term Care of those whose Families can't really Cope or Manage to Care for someone way outside their ability to meet that Disabled/Sick person at the Point of Need they obviously have and require. Sure, they'll send Adult Protective Services to check out a Situation, but, frankly, if they can't provide alternatives, they really will not want to get involved either. They know the Prospectus of doing what I do for Free would Cost them around Sixty Grand or more a Month. They're not willing to foot that Bill. And when my last fuck to give is gone... The System really backs off and wants no involvement, coz their Feet would be to the Fire and they know it.
I have told every Caseworker ever Assigned to a Resident Loved One here at The Asylum Forever Boheme' residing here, that if they Imagine they can Care for ANY or ALL of them better than me, go for it, don't threaten me with a good time, have at it. *Winks* They have unanimously decided they would rather not have ANY or ALL of us dumped in their Laps, and bear that enormous Responsibility and Cost, Nope. So, until they do Stand Tall, shut the fuck up or send in the Goddamned Cavalry... I don't really Care anymore one way or the other. I really don't, I am doing the Best I can and if that's not good enuf, well, Step Up whoever thinks they'd do it better, I DARE them. That's the same thing I said to my MIL the One time she questioned my ability to Care for her Son after his Catastrophic Injuries, God Rest her Soul. She told me I wasn't doing a good enuf Job, over the Phone of coarse, she was conspicuous by her very Absence in Person, tho' she and his Stepdad had come to Arizona often to do "Church Work". Don't EVEN get me Started there... *Winks*
So, I responded in a way that blindsided the Hell out of that Old Lady and she never ran an ounce of interference or offered any criticism after that One foolishly unguarded utterance to me. All the other DIL's Kowtowed, well, I'm not The One. She found that out Mach Schnell. I simply told her, "You're Right, Nobody can Care for a Son like his Mother. And I have a Guest Room here for you to come and Stay and be his Caregiver for as long as you like. In fact, The G-Kid Force would also love to have their Great-Grandma Present and helping us with him, and with them too. It would be such a BLESSING Rosalie!!!" {His Family are ultra "Religious", so the Blessing part was Intentionally chosen Wordage. Winks} Needless to say she never showed up or took the Offer to BE such a Blessing, in fact, I never heard from her again and I was told by other DIL that she never spoke ill of me either. I bet... mebbe she thought I'd put one of those Heathen Curses of our People upon her, I dunno? *Winks* Step in my Waters, you best be a Strong Swimmer or have a Life Preserver handy for your Titanic Moment. *LOL*
Happy Halloween my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian
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