So, we're back from The Son's 40th Birthday Bash Buffet at "Crab 99". We ordered a Feast and got the Free Pound of Shrimp Boil we'd Won last Visit, you can get it in any flavor and we chose the Butter Garlic, Sublime and the Shrimp are Huge and meaty, we got them Headless and Deveined, which is also your Option at no Cost. The Son and I both ordered the Fried Catfish Basket which comes with Cajun Fries and Seven Pieces of Catfish. The Man ordered Fried Scallops and Clam Chowder. Princess T ordered the Steak. The Daughter ordered the Korean BBQ Ribs. And we got the Two Flavors of Buffalo Wings they have on Special for the World Cup Celebrations. We have a tonnage of Leftovers. The Daughter got a Tequila Sunrise and The Son got a Bloody Mary... The Man, Princess T and I got Sodas. Our Spin on the way out Princess T did for us and Won us another Pound of Shrimp Boil for the next Visit!!! Yay!!! Loved the Pix taken Above of The Son and his Sister, they're both gonna use it as their new FB Profile Pix.
Initially Princess T was gonna Opt Out coz she's not feeling too good, she has a lot of Stomach Issues and had spent all day in Bed 'til almost Noon. But, she relented and came along, tho' couldn't eat much due to her Gut Issues, plus, she's a very picky Eater and so her Mom and Uncle will likely have her leftovers later. It's Okay, she chipped in for the Tab, insisting she wanted to help me pay for it as her Gift to her Uncle, which was Sweet. For as much as we got, plus what was generously Comped that we'd Won, the Tab was very reasonable tho', much less than I expected, even with a generous Tip for our Sweet Young Waitress. The Kiddos tell me their Bartender makes a mean Cocktail too, well worth the price, knows what they're doing and doesn't Cheap Out on the Alcohol content like some places do. They play good Trendy Music that the Kiddos all liked too and said they Wished their Employers Played that Soundtrack at Work.
So, it went off really well, a good time was had by all, everyone was in a Positive Uplifted Mood, I'm glad we could do something together for his Birthday, as that had been his only Desire and Request. He said it's so difficult for him to get any of his Friends together to do anything anymore. Everyone has their Schedules, Families, and Obligations, so they seldom get together for anything, even if advance notice is given to make room for whatever it is. And since The Son is Childless and Single, he has more Freedom than any of his Friends who have Wives, Husbands, Kids or even Dating someone Seriously. And I have found that Married Couples or Dating Couples do Socialize differently than Single Adults, Divorcees or Widowed Adults. So he's in that Limbo of being practically the only one his Age now whose unattached and not looking to get attached either. The Daughter has more Single Friends so her Socializing is quite different. Quite a few of her Friends have Kids, mostly Grown now, and have never been Married and don't intend to be.
Before we'd left for the Restaurant The Man had some Bleeding on his Left Leg, didn't know how he'd done it, I checked to make sure his Skin wasn't splitting open again, it wasn't. He'd dinged himself somehow and didn't feel it. Then, we get Home, I'm talking to my Brother in Cali on the Phone and The Man interrupts me again and shows me his Foot, and now he's got a Wound on his Left fucking Foot and doesn't know how he got it!!! He's like a Small Child now, getting hurt all the damned time doing Lord knows what, and then coming to show me his Owie! Which, he Needs to, coz we have to treat it Seriously even if it's a small Wound, he's an Insulin Dependent Diabetic. And coz he doesn't Heal worth a shit and that's why he required Home Help in the first place, which, now we don't have anymore so he can get on with Cardiac Rehab. Christ on a Bike!!!
It is one thing after another with him and it gets exhaustive to keep him semi-healthy and not having some kind of Medical Crisis perpetually now!!! I can't go do anything coz I almost always get interrupted with a Call from Home that it's something else with him now! It's why the Kiddos all get nervous being a fill-in Caregiver coz they don't want something going sideways with him on their Watch, I completely understand and they wouldn't know what to do. But, I do require the respites and to be able to go do Shopping or Errands without him in tow coz taking this Show on the Road is a challenge logistically and Medically now too. We've got Medical Equipment, even getting his Shoes on now is an Ordeal. I've got Three different Shoe Sizes we have to try on to get a Pair that fit coz his Feet swell, un-swell, and some days he's less ambulatory than other days. Plus, he can interrupt you constantly when you're on a Phone Call or finally trying to unwind and relax... like RIGHT NOW! *Le Sigh and an Eye Roll*
He's crashed in here with his Walker now Three fucking times in less than 15 Minutes!!! First to show me his Owie. Then to ask me to help him with Band-aide application after the Wound was cleaned. {He can do it himself and I try to make him do what he can still do for himself or he'd not do a damned thing for himself now.} And then to "Show me his Socks????", Yes, Honey, they're your Socks, why are you Showing me your Socks? Just go put them on to protect your Feet more. I guess he couldn't remember why he was holding a Pair of Socks, or to prove to me he had Socks to put on? I really don't fucking know?! *Eye Roll* Instead of just Chillin' in his Media Chair in the Livingroom and watching his Shows after having had that Nice Meal Out Celebrating The Son's Birthday!!! Finally, I'm like, Honey, I'm trying to Unwind and Relax here, so I'd like to have some Quiet Time, Okay. Other times he doesn't want anyone to be around him all day, and gets agitated and annoyed that you are. So, you just never know the level of Attention he's requiring nor expecting?
But I've done Irrigation damage control when we had problems with it this Morning, taken The Son to Work after that, Medicated The Man and got him his Breakfast with The Daughter's Help, done some Yard Work and Housekeeping, did some Environmental Cleanup, did the Birthday Thing. All without a Nap Today, so now I just require a little bit of Time to myself, coz it's only 3:00 p.m. and I'm Tired already and still not Feeling 100% myself. Until I am 100% I'm trying to make him aware that I can't be going at a breakneck pace 24-7 and 365 now, and it's not all about him all of the time. I'm on Doc's Orders to take it easier 'til they know what's going on with my own Health, so I'm not too worn out should I require Surgery or some other Medical intervention that might be necessary where you Need your Strength. I can't be depleted Physically, Emotionally or Mentally right now, so he can't be demanding so much that I don't have in me to Give right now. The Kids are reminding him that Mom/Gramma Needs to catch a Break, so, Behave.
He was pretty good all Morning, but, after 2:00 p.m. you really Need to have him just Home and Settled in coz the Sundowners starts and he begins to Act Up, predictably now. He either gets Childish and becomes a Nuisance for the Attention, or he gets Agitated and Angry over Nothing and making much ado about Nothing. Just your very Existence could then bother him. *Bwahahahahaha* I will sometimes tell him, when he gets ridiculously Mad at one of the Kiddos over Nothing at all, coz they haven't done a damned thing, Hey, Knock it Off, you're being Unlovely and they're just Breathing... you KNOW they have to Breathe... so, Lighten Up!!! *Bwahahahaha* The Kids get a Kick out of it and sometimes I'll use the Levity of Satire and tell them Sternly, will you just stop Breathing, it's Annoying your Father/Grandpa!!! *LMAOROTF* Then he'll Settle Down and Lighten Up when confronted with how ridiculous and Silly he's being over Nothing.
Coz I will sometimes counter with, if he's being a real difficult Pain in the Ass towards the Family... Listen, I could GIVE you Something to really be Upset about, do you want me to DO THAT?! *Winks, No, NO, he most def does NOT! Smiles* And the Kids will Giggle and quietly Whisper, Mom/Gramma, STOP it! *Bwahahahaha* Hey, don't Threaten me with a Good Time, I could quit being Long Suffering and come completely out of the Bag on your Ass... you choose which Dawn you're getting!? I start out every Single Day with Dawn Of The Light being Dominant, it's better for everyone concerned that you don't Invite Dark Dawn out to Play and switch to the Dominant side of me you'll then get and will not Like. *Winks* So don't ruin a perfectly Great Day for yourself and risk the consequences of Testing me. I have never professed to be a Mentally Well Woman. *Smiles and Winks* I Love him with all of my Heart and Soul, but a little bit of him lately can go a long fucking way! *LOL*
The Son was Joking with his Dad recently when he could see his Dad was being really difficult and Testing me, and I was starting to reach my End of Patience, Endurance, and Loving Kindness with him. He's saying, "Dad, you don't wanna end up in Hand to Hand Combat with Mom do ya, that's not the Hill you wanna Die on, Man. Not after Surviving so many Theaters of War in Combat after 39 Years, it would be tragic to Lose you like that! If she goes on the Warpath and Full On Geronimo!" And then we all started Laughing, coz, hey, that's hyperbolic and Funny, I don't Care who you are!!! *Smiles* The Kiddos have all said I often get my "Geronimo Face" and "Crazy Eyes"... they're pretty sure that would have been my Indian Tribal Nickname, "Crazy Eyes". *Bwahahahaha* Either that or "Postal Yet Calm". *Winks*
Geronimo 1886, Chiricahua Apache Bedonkohe Band, may he R.I.P.
My Dad right around Circa 1976 or Before, may he R.I.P.
My Cousin D.A., may he R.I.P., in Traditional Tribal Attire, he too was in the Marines in Vietnam, his Dad {My Dad's Oldest Brother} also Served {See my Uncle Below}
My Uncle Dwight, may he R.I.P.
Now, tho' my Dad was almost always Smiling, coz he was a very Pleasant and Agreeable Man, tho' one of few Words, his Eyes could Chill you to the Bone in spite of a Smile. If you were to Cross him or be Stupid and Foolish about how you Behaved in his Presence, no matter who you were, he only Need give you a Look, it was always Enough. He never would show Anger visibly, or Fear ever, he didn't Need to, he'd just give you a Look and if you were Acting Up, it was a pretty good Time to then Wise Up, Straighten Up, Lighten Up, and just not GO there... it was Unspoken and no Words were ever Needed. I think I developed or inherited that Trait from him, coz if I am getting Angry I will rarely visibly Show it and will be steely Calm in fact. The Calmer I am the Angrier I probably am getting. And I certainly won't use Words if you've taken me there. But the Eyes will definitely convey that I'm not Playing either, and my Family have often told me that's what Scares People. And I'm not even Trying to BE Scary.
Dad never had to discipline us, he'd snap his Fingers to get your Attention and just Look at you... even if he was deep in Conversation with someone else, that's all it ever took and he wouldn't even stop mid Sentence. Never heard him Raise his Voice, disrupt his Calm, or lose Control. I remember his G.I. Friends he Served in Vietnam with said when their Base got overrun sometimes, everyone would be in a Fearful Panic except for my Dad, who stayed completely Calm and very Strategic. And becoz he was Food Service, Food Service and Clergy Positions didn't even carry a Weapon. The Local Population of South Vietnamese Locals who Worked with the Americans greatly Respected him and many of them gave him expensive Friendship Gifts when his Tour of Duty was up, that cost them a Month's Wages! Coz they felt that Highly of him and related to him so well, coz he wasn't like most Americans they had encountered. I'm pretty sure most Indigenous American Servicemen were not like what anyone had encountered, and the same was said about my Native American Uncles and Cousins who Served in the Military. They are still Fierce Warriors and not Afraid of a Fight.
So, anyway, after bothering me too many times after we got Home, and pushing his Luck, The Man finally Calmed Down and Stayed Put, since I told him I wasn't Feeling very Relaxed. And that wouldn't End Well. *Winks* I don't know what's going on with the U.S. Postal Service, tho' I do know this Administration is messing with all Federal Employees and gutting Agencies, so that could be responsible for the Post Office ineptitude to get Mail anywhere on time lately. I sent a Bill in that the Clearinghouse is only in Los Angeles, we're in Phoenix, it took 20 Days to get there!!! WTF?! You could Walk to L.A. from Phoenix in 20 Days, and it ended up assessing me a Late Charge even tho' I sent the Bill in way before the Due Date and well before any Late Charge would be assessed. I called the Creditor coz my July Statement was saying it was delinquent too and wasn't Crediting me the amount I knew I'd Paid and had Cleared my Bank, coz I checked to make sure before calling.
That's when I found out it had taken so fucking long to get there. I don't make Auto Payments coz you're Agreeing to Access to your Account and they could charge you anything they want with that permission structure. I once had a Mortgage Company, Years ago take out Two Mortgage Payments instead of one becoz I had the Account on Auto Pay, so ever since then I refuse to allow Creditor Access to any of my Accounts, don't Trust them, know that they are fallible and can fuck up and cause you a load of problems getting any Administrative Errors corrected then or reversed if they duplicated a Charge. That can throw your Budget all out of whack and our Budget is strained as it is in this shitty Economy this Regime has caused America unnecessarily while enriching themselves handsomely at our Expense. So, anyway, at least I did get confirmation, Yes, they Credited the June Payment but after the new Statement generated.
They weren't willing to waive the Late Charge of $29 even tho' I've never been late ever before, so they can see my Payment History is exemplary. Most Companies don't appreciate your Business and Nickle and Dime Customers now, it's why I have no Company/Business Loyalty anymore either. And of coarse it isn't their fault that the Post Office took over Two Weeks to get a Payment Mailed from Phoenix to L.A., it would have been a Customer Courtesy to Waive it, she wasn't willing to, tho', she was Polite Customer Service. I don't think they give their Customer Call Center Reps much Authority to do anything anymore and you're probably not even speaking to an American in this Country. She sounded like she was Filipina and didn't speak great English. They Outsource everything Cheaply in other Countries they can pay even lower Wages to exploit an International Workforce, usually in some 3rd World disadvantaged Country.
We also then had to calculate what my Minimum Payment would now be? Since they wanted more than double on the Statement, due to saying they never received a June Payment, which, they did actually receive. I always send way more than any Minimum Payment anyway, coz I pay all Debts/Loans off early if there's no Prepayment Penalty assessed, but won't send Double or more. I hate to have to spend time on Phone Calls every Month tho' due to some error not caused by me, and every Month it's something else lately. You have to bypass the Bots, if you do finally get a Human, often they're Reading off a Script and don't have a good grasp on the English Language. So, they may or may not even be able to Help you Solve whatever Problem you're calling about coz they know Zip about whatever Industry they're even in and got Hired for. Most Loan Servicing is no longer done in America, it's all Outsourced and they have Zero Loan Servicing Knowledge, Experience or Education.
I'm usually telling them how to do their Jobs coz I ran their types of Departments for Major Financial Institutions as a Bank Executive many Moons ago when we did it here and your Employees had to know the damned Business. It's Crazy to me how unqualified and incompetent most people are now doing the Jobs they got Hired for. And this Administration is some of the worst EVER at Nepo and Croney Hires, who have no Qualifications, Experience, Knowledge, Training, Credentials, or Education to be put in some of the highest and most crucial Positions of Government and risk our National Security coz they don't know what the Hell they're doing. Not a Clue, but they have Fealty to this Prez, do whatever he says, regardless of how illegal, immoral, or damaging to the Country and the rest of the World, and that's the only thing he considers at all when choosing them. And why we're having such absolute Fuckery and Chaos Nationally, everything getting fucked up and gutted... mass Firings of Qualified Employees and Career Public Servants and Military, who won't commit Illegal Criminal and Immoral Acts for him.
Anyway, The Son bought himself a Concert Ticket for Tuesday Night and his Ride backed out and didn't secure their Ticket, so now I have to take him and pick him up or he's out Fifty Bucks. Most Concerts now worth going to aren't close by, but, it is what he wanted to do for himself for his Birthday so I'll oblige. But I've told the whole Family, don't crowd out my Calendar with too much of your stuff coz I may have stuff of my own Medically to have to Pencil in there on Short Notice. We just don't know yet and it won't be able to be ignored or not be a Priority. Period. This is what happens when everyone has a lot going on and no Transportation of their own. As it is 35 Visits to Cardiac Rehab scheduled for The Man is a shitload of Commitment to just his Rehabilitation to be Calendared and set time aside for 'til it's Done. And he's never Done. He hasn't been Done for Decades with his Medical stuff, it's a Constant. But, it has kept him Piping along, you just can't afford to get Sick or require Care of your own as his Caregiver tho'. Whaddya gonna do? It's why most Caregivers Drop Dead before who they're looking after... nobody is taking Care of us... and taking Care of Yourself when you're a Full Time Caregiver is easier Said than actually Done.
*******
Caregiver Burnout is constantly trying to be staved off and avoided... Dawn... The Bohemian
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