Tales Of The Dark Side

 

So, we're leading off this Blog Post with a reveal of the Retail Therapy I did and Photographed my Three New Creepy Dolls.  Which are now Christmas Tree Decorations with the others she'd made that have a Christmas Theme and I've Collected over the Years from her.  I have her Halloween Themed ones and some 4th of July Themed ones too.  She knows someone was always Buying them as soon as she brought them in, mostly, it was me.  I'm Obsessed with these Prim Dolls, what can I say?  I have Obsessions... I'm clearly not a Well Woman.  *LOL & Winks*

I've never met or even run into this Vendor in all the Years she's been there, I doubt she comes in often to maintain her one Small unlocked Case.  It's cluttered and always messy, mostly with crapola, except for her Doll Creations.  And once I did Score a very Vintage "Magnolia Pearl" early Bag that Robin had made.  Which this Vendor had in her unlocked Case and clearly didn't know the Brand or what they fetch, coz I bought it for under Twenty Bucks!!!  My Heart beating like a Hummingbird when I even spied it, almost jumping out of my Chest when I saw the ridiculously low price on it!!!  

Even in the very beginning they fetched several Hundred Dollars and this Bag had been Published in early Magazine Profiles of the Artist.  Now they haven't been made in Years, Robin did Retire the Hippie Bags she began her Brand with and became known for and went more into Fashion Designing.  Her Clothing Line was always Unique and less Handwork than the Bags.  The Young Prince recently asked me, if I were being Buried like an Egyptian, which Possessions would I wanna take into the Afterlife in my Tomb?  It would be my Magnolia Pearl Bag Collection, hands down.  *LOL*  So, he said he'll ensure they never get Sold Off during his Lifetime then.  *Awwww, Smiles, clearly he wants to be my Favorite and so I won't Haunt HIM... Bwahahahaha*

I also Photographed that large Mermaid Mug, which had another ridiculously low price on it, I couldn't Buy most Mugs at a Chazza that low priced!  The Mermaid Graphics on it are raised in the Mug's Glaze, so it is textural Design, really Cool.   And BTW, in the shots of the Christmas Tree, the Fiesta Ware Bowl/Mug Collection is only there for the splash of Color, coz, it's not Gifts, we had most of it and the Kiddos requested I NOT Sell Off all of it, so, this is what's being Kept now at their request.  They want to inherit my Fiesta Ware, and, I never fell out of Love with it actually, I just knew it was an Easy Sell to liquidate out of the Great Edit and Purge.  I had no idea the Kids had such fond Memories of eating off it that they didn't want me to get rid of all of it, who knew?!  This is why they communicate with me now what NOT to Sell.  *LOL*

The Young Prince felt the same about my Wooden Japanese Vintage Bobble Head Dolls, I have Bookends of them too.  So, we pulled those from Inventory as well.  They do look Old School Anime and they are highly Collectible these Kokeshi Dolls and there are about a Dozen Official Styles of them.  The Young Prince Loves everything Japanese and wants one day to visit Japan.  I have a Paternal Cousin whose lived there most of his Adult Life and works for a Japanese Company and has a Japanese Wife, and a Japanese Mistress {common in Japan among Wealthy Businessmen, so long as you support both Families}.  It's not AS common as it once was, but it's still Culturally Acceptable, he has a Daughter by each Union, it's not Secretive or hidden.

In fact, way back when The Son was in a House Run Rehab, the Kenyans who ran it was a Man and his Eight Wives!!!  The Son wasn't sure how that works in America when an Immigrant whose Culture accepts Polygamy immigrates?   But, all Eight Women were this Man's Wives and The Son said the Women did all the Work.   And used to laugh and tell him he was like a Woman becoz he'd help them do the Work.   Since I Raised him that way due to the Matriarchal Society Standards my Dad Raised us in.  My Brother does the same, his Lady said in all the Years they've been together, he's not like your average American Raised Man and she appreciates a Matriarchal Society Raised Man better than one Raised in the Patriarchy.  Hard to Find one tho' outside of certain Tribal Cultures.  *LOL*

So, here's my Mermaid Mug, with Mermaid length Hair strategically and modestly covering her Breasts.  *LOL*   And it rather looks like a Pottery Art Project, but does have a Brand Name on the Bottom which says "I {Heart Shape} It"  And it is a Heart Shape and not the Word Heart or Love.   I found some of the Mermaid Mugs of this Brand on E-Bay Selling for between $16-$40, so... SCORE!!!  The Seller of the E-Bay Auction Mermaid Mug of this Brand did Photograph the Bottom so I Cribbed their Image {Above and Below my Mug Image}.  Their Mermaid is a different one than mine, but similarly stylized and the Brand seems to produce Art Mugs. {See Below}

This was the E-Bay Seller's Mug Graphics and they wanted $16 starting Bid for it with Free Shipping.  They are 18 oz. Mugs.   For some reason the Vendor of the Open Case I bought both my Mugs from at our Antique Mall had Thrift Store/Yard Sale Pricing on their Collectible Mugs, I couldn't get them at a Chazza that cheaply, so I got both I liked.  The other was the 2011 Etched Black Logo Starbucks Mug, one of my all time Fav Designs they came out with, and I now have a Set of 4 of them.  Took me probably since 2011 to procure Four at a low price each.  If you Buy a Mug from Starbucks they're expensive, and even Resale, you can get more than that for coveted pieces people really Collect.  I've done very well in Resale of my Starbucks Mugs and Tumbler Collections, or their Christmas Ornaments.   {See Image Below, she's etched deeply into the Ceramic of the Mug.}

I am a Coffee Snob, I ain't gonna Lie.  And I'm an avid Collector of Starbucks Line of Products to drink my Coffee or Teas out of or just Display as a Collection.  Since, some are too valuable to risk the Family breaking or staining some of them.  We use the less valuable ones to drink out of all the time tho', or, if I have duplicates of a popular design, so, if one got broken, I still have another.  *Winks*  Yes, I'm a Crazy Collector who has duplicates or more of my all time Favs of something that has Value.  I have Sold Off some duplicates when I need or want to Cash Out and Liquidate the Investment in them tho'.   We use some of my Mug Collection to hold Toothbrushes & Toothpaste, or Straws, Chopsticks, or Pencils & Pens too.  I have Three sitting on my Desk here right now!  *LOL*  Some of my Mug Collection I'm very Attached to.  But I do Purge the Collection on The Regular to keep it Downsized some.

I think that Collecting is actually an Incurable Disease of sorts.  And those of us who are Collectors always have been.  It's in our DNA to be Hunters and Gatherers and when you meet other Collectors you realize it's filled with strong similarities.  Kindred Spirits even tho' you don't even have to Collect the same things or have similar "Thing" Passions. Just the Passion for Collecting is the Camaraderie that holds that Community Together and Understands one another.  It becomes very Social and a Kindred Spirit Community with remarkable quick Bonds.  I can meet another Collector right now, of any Age, Collecting anything, and form an instant Connection.  We could each talk endlessly about whatever we're Passionate about Collecting and the Stories that go with it.  Even a Small Child, if they have the Collecting Bug, can relate to an OG Collector and Talk about our Collections with one another Passionately.

I know as much about what my Parents, my Kids and my Grandkids Collected or still Collect, as I do my own Collections!!!  So, I can relate Intergenerationally with Collectors of their Generations easily, having a fair amount of Insider Knowledge about what they Collect, even if I've never Collected it myself.   The Pokemon Crowd at the Antique Mall Love that I know too much about Pokemon coz I had Two Generations of Kiddos I Raised that Collected it!  I've never Collected it or Anime, but becoz my Kiddos did and some still do, I do know something about that stuff and can recognize it like a Pro when I'm Scouting for Found Treasures. 

 My Kiddos Love that about me, I've Scored some of their Best Stuff and didn't even know what it was sometimes or who the Character was.  But I could Zero in on it anyway as Pokemon or Anime related Merch at some Chazza.  Or something unknown, even to them, but Valuable as a Collectible, I have an Internal Radar for it!  I knew what a fucking Labubu was before any other Senior I knew!!!   I knew the knockoffs were Lafufus and how to tell the difference!!! *LOL*  Yeah, it's Crazy and Sick in a way that at my Age I know any of this shit!!!  *Smiles*  But it's made me quite Popular with many Youngsters who I can talk on a level with about what they're Passionate about and I really wouldn't otherwise know anything about if I hadn't Raised Two Generations of Passionate Collectors of it.  And their excitement about it is Positive Energy I draw upon.

And, I can School them on what has Value that I know about and Mentor Young Collectors so they become better and more discerning about what to Invest in and recognize Value.   The G-Kid Force did that with the OG's at the Antique Mall, being Mentored by them and having some of them take them under their Wing.  The Wise Elders of Collecting that knew far more than even I did and had Museum Quality Collections and had been very Successful at it, owning Galleries, Auctions, Pawn Shops, Antique Stores, Historic Homes galore, Car Collections, or Salvage Yards.  Cigar Hugh is an Octogenarian OG who has Museum Quality Merch and used to own Art Galleries, he took Princess T under his Wing when she was about 6 and he was probably in his late 60's back then.

Why?  Becoz he had some Booths at our Antique Mall at the time with some of his Gallery Quality Art For Sale in it, and one Day he's in One Booth and we're in the one next to it Admiring the Paintings like we were at some Art Museum or Gallery.  And he hears this tiny little Kid Voice say to me, "Gramma, I don't know who this Vendor is, but they sure do know their Art!"   And Hugh pokes his Head around the Booth to see who this Kid is that is such a savvy Art Critic!?!  He couldn't Believe she Critiqued Fine Art like she could, Naturally having an Eye for it!  And I told him about the Antique Persian Rug Story where she Scored me a $35,000 Antique Rug curbside on Bulk Garbage Day when she was even Younger, looking out the Window from her Car Seat!!!  She's got a Good Eye and Eyes like a Rat for The Good Stuff.  *Smiles*

After that Hugh Mentored her, gave her some of his Published Artist Paintings and she displayed them in her Room like it was a Gallery.  Gave her a Book so she'd know Published Artists and the Value of their Work.  And we became great Friends with Hugh and he Adores that Child and has watched her Grow Up.  He's given me Friendship Gifts too of Valuable Native American Museum Quality stuff coz he knew my Dad was Indigenous and I'd appreciate it and Respect it for what is represents.  I haven't seen Hugh come in for a long time and Hope he's still Alive and Okay?   I worry about him but don't have his Phone Contact info to check in on him.  We maintained our Friendship via the Mall, as many of us do.

 He still has some Locked Cases at our Downtown Phoenix Location but Closed Out all his Booths and Cases at our Mall, which may be further away from where he Lives?  His Wife had Alzheimers and he was her Caregiver for Years, she was a Retired Doctor.  But his Health began failing even before COVID hit.  I'd just like to know how he's doing if he's still among the Living, usually the Mall tells us when someone Passes so we all know.  Especially long time Vendors or Staff that everyone got to know well.  Cigar Hugh was one of the Original Vendors like me at our Location and he'd been at the Downtown Location Years before that.

The Son planted my little Palm Tree so we're Hopeful it thrives.  I know what it's Parent Tree looks like, it's an Old Palm Grove of California Fan Palms out in an Agricultural Areas Border and a lovely Majestic Species of hardy Palm with a thick Trunk and full Frond System.  We have Two 60+ foot Tall Mature Mexican Fan Palms in our Front Yard.  Sadly, when areas get re-zoned and Developed for Residential or Commercial, they cut the Old Palm Groves down rather than incorporating them in the Landscaping, which would make more sense to preserve the Old Trees.  In a Desert the Old Growth of any Trees is Valuable and Rare, so should be Preserved IMO. 

 I'm Saving the Baby Palms growing in areas there that are being Bulldozed Roadside regularly and would eventually be killed.  This Palm was inches away from the last Bulldozing of the Soft Shoulders and would likely have been ripped out with the next one.  It was hard to dig out but I was tenacious and got a lot of good Root System intact, so it might transplant well Poolside?  All Body Parts crossed.  The Palms tend to be slow growing so I won't Live long enuf to see it reach a Majestic Maturity, but, I've planted lots of Young Trees at various Properties we once Owned and now all of those are Mature and I can still drive by and know I'm responsible for that Gorgeous Mature Tree it now is all these Years later.  As a Kid I always Loved the Johnny Appleseed Story.  And I'm an Old Hippie Naturalist and Preservationist of the Natural World and Historic Places to my very Core.

Above is another Great-Grandkid's Mug Shot, she's in 1st Grade.  Usually she's a Diva in front of the Lens, she looks like a Deer caught in the Headlights in her Class Mug Shot.  My Brother, the Professional Hollywood Retired Photographer, said that shows the Photographer isn't making the Subject Matter feel comfortable and can't draw out the best in the Human or Animal they're Photographing.  He did say Kids are the hardest, especially if they don't know whose Photographing them or the Photographer isn't skilled or necessarily good with or used to Photographing Children.  One would think, if you're a School Age Kid Professional Photographer you'd have the Skills for it?  They charge so much now for these Mug Shots.  But they're banking on a Parent Buying anything???  It's not a Bad Photo, she just looks uncomfortable and not engaged with the Process or the Photographer.

 

Speaking of Mug Shots, here's the last ones my Brother and I had done at our High School in Phoenix Circa 1970's.   My Brother had great Hair the Color of a Raven's Wing before he went Silver prematurely.   Mom went Silver prematurely too and she had Blue-Black Hair that was curly, like my Brother.  Our Dad had Blue-Black Hair until the day he Died.  And my Brother worked so damned hard to grow that very sparse Mustache.  *LOL*  At least he could grow one, our Dad and all my Male Native American Relatives could never grow Facial Hair.   The Son was in his Mid-30's before he could coax any Facial Hair to grow.  *Smiles*   It's still sparse and soft like an Old Chinese Man's Beard and Mustache.  *LOL*

A very Old Photo of our Dad when he was Stationed in Alaska on an unaccompanied Tour of Duty for just over a Year during the Cold War. When Russia was being very problematic and being Monitored closely by our Military from Alaskan Bases like Murphy Dome, a former U.S. Air Force Station that served as a key Continental Defense Radar Site during the Cold War.  We stayed behind with our Mom in the way Military Families have to when your Loved One is Deployed and can't take their Family with them on that Tour of Duty, which normally lasts about a Year, but, can be longer separations.  It's very Sacrificial to Families, you never get that Time back and know your Loved One can be at Risk when Deployed to Dangerous Tours of Duty and at War Combat Deployments.  The Man and I were separated almost every Year by his shorter term Tours of Duty, plus longer ones intermittently when he was Active Duty. 

 

Very Old Immigration Photo of our Mom.  This was on one of her Green Cards which she carried with her all the rest of her Life.  Eventually they issued them in Pink, not Green anymore.  They went Pink in 1989, it apparently returned to Green in 2010.  It's had various shades of hues of both Colors since the early 1960's, but, I always saw Mom's in her Wallet.  She never went anywhere without it to prove she was here Legally and often also carried her Passport.  She never Trusted that she wouldn't be deported for even any minor infraction and she'd be horrified at what is happening now to Immigrants, whether here Legally or not.

  She always returned Home to give Birth to us so we'd not only be Dual Citizens of Both Countries, having a Parent of each Nation, but, also becoz she had an Interracial Marriage and was scared of mistreatment here in America when she had Non-White Babies.  We were very Dark and looked very Native American at Birth, not White looking at all like our Mom.  Many Foreign Brides, especially from Europe, did the same if they Married Interracially, for the same reasons back in those days.  So most of my other Mixed Race Friends of my Age Group, who had GI Dads of Color and White Moms, were also Born in their Mom's Countries in those days. 

 A lot of Asian Foreign Brides of American GI's didn't, since Amerasian Kids were usually more maligned in their Mom's Countries than they were even in ours.  Societies can be Cruel, harsh and Stupid like that in many Countries and Cultures, including ours.   Our Grandchildren in Mexico who were Born there, have a very hard time of it too, being they have an American Mother and are Weta, so look different and clearly appear Biracial. Actually we're Multiracial, since we're quite a varied blend of Mixed Race Humans now as a Family... we got a little bit of everything and flavor going on!!!   We get questioned often by the curious about what "Nationality" we are?  *LOL and Winks, Loaded Question and the 1st one my MIL asked her Son when he Married me!  Bwahahahaha* 

 

Today I'm gellin' and just eating the last of our Thanksgiving leftovers, which, were sparse, so we've actually had to make other things to eat or make a full meal of.  The Carcass looked picked over by Vultures, so there was no making Stock or a Soup out of it like we could with the Ham.  *LOL*  And most Sides got polished off Thanksgiving Day too, so only a bit of Stuffing, since The Daughter made Two Kinds, the Bird had One kind in it and the other was done in a Casserole Dish, both were excellent and my favorite part of the Meal actually.  I Love Stuffing best.  And we had some Cranberry Sauce left since we had Three Kinds, Jellied, Whole Berry, and Cranberry Relish.  

We had Two kinds of Gravy too, from the Bird's Juices and a Jarred Store bought Turkey Gravy that's very good.  The Son had foregone Mashed Potatoes and made Two kinds of Scalloped Potatoes instead.  The Potatoes had been the flash point between he and his Sister that Morning.  *Eye Roll*  Nothing got messed up tho', they did Steam the Mixed Fresh Vegetables more than I would have coz they like theirs to be softer due to Dental Issues some Family is having, they don't have Dental Insurance.  Between not having Medical, Dental or Prescription Drug Insurances and none of it being affordable, they have to do without of a lot of what they need and should take or get done.  Forget about Preventative Care if you can't Pay Cash for Care when you have no Insurance Coverage.

This was The Daughter in Kindergarten, she picked out that hideous little frilly Collar Dress and just Loved it and insisted on wearing it.  *LOL*  I always let the Kiddos pick out Clothes they liked so they could express themselves with Fashion, and what they wanted to wear on Photo Day.  My Parents did that for us too and we appreciated them allowing us the Freedom to be authentic to ourselves.  But, my Dear Mom, on School Photo Day did have a thing for ugly Cardigans and tho' I Hated them, she was investing in the Photos and my Family were financially not able to always buy things like Cameras or have Photos taken and pay for without it being a hardship and sacrifice, so I'd oblige and wear what she wanted for those Photos. 

 Hence, I cringe at how dorky I looked in Grade School Class Pixs, since my Mom's Fashion Sense for Young Children was decidedly more European than American.  So I kinda stood out like a sore Thumb as the Non-American Ethnic looking Child in the Group Pixs.  *LOL*  By the time I was in Jr. High tho' I appreciated her Bohemian Fashion sense and she didn't mind my Hippie Fashions at all... go figure!!!  In fact, by the 60's my Mom's Aesthetic was tolerated a lot more than in the Uptight American 1950's when everyone's Mom looked like Ozzy's Harriet or Leave it to Beaver's Mom and mine looked like an Exotic Bohemian or Ethnic European Gypsy with the Vibrant Colors, layered flowing Skirts, Bold Makeup and lots of abundant flashy Jewelry. 

We went behind a Tire Store and they let Mando pick out Four of the discarded Tires for his Car that they have piled up out back.  He and The Daughter told the Shop Manager they'd make more Room for him back there and tidy the pile in exchange for looking thru to find the Tires that would fit his Car.  When they were doing that job with TJ they got Two flats driving over Construction Debris in the damned Road.  He didn't have Money, since they still haven't finished that job and haven't gotten Paid for it yet, so he needed Free Replacement Tires.  The Tire Shop was only too happy to have that messy pile of Tires put right and make room for more they'd need to pile up back there.  I brought the Truck so they could throw the Four Tires in the back, they managed to find a full set that would fit and get him by.   His Car had been towed by a Relative to his Cousin's House.

It's always something to put more pressure on hard times and I know a lot of Americans right now are going thru it.  Bills came in higher so December is gonna be leaner than November even was.  Everything is up in price except Pensions and Wages, which aren't keeping pace with high inflation.  They were talking on the News about how many entry level Jobs and even a lot of White Collar Jobs are gonna be replaced by AI and eliminated for Humans.   Andrew Yang warned of this when he was running for President as a Democratic Candidate.  I was part of the Yang Gang, tho' I didn't think no matter how Smart and Qualified he was, America would Vote in an Asian Prez any more than they would Kamala as a Black Woman, we're not enlightened enuf yet to get past petty biases like that.  They thought better to Elect an unqualified Senile Convicted Felon Career Criminal Old White Man instead.  And so now here we now are.  *Eye Roll*

There's been a Marathon of Christmas Movies that I've never heard of or seen before on one of the Cable Channels.  They're mostly Black Actors becoz it's TV One, Lifestyle Programming with Black Representation and Entertainment for African American Adults, and have been very Family Friendly Movies.  The Man and I have enjoyed all the Movies so far and it is a 3-Day Movie Marathon.  I've enjoyed "The Christmas Pact" {2018} with Handsome Canadian Actor Jarod Joseph and Jasmine Guy, who I remember from the old Sitcom "A Different World" {1987-1993}.   Jarod looks so much like my Aunty Maureen's Youngest Son, Raymond, when Raymond was Younger, that they could be mistaken for being Father and Son, especially across the Eyes!!!  Raymond's own Kids don't look as much like him as this Canadian Actor does!  *LOL*

I watched the Tom Cruise Movie "Edge Of Tomorrow" {2014} with The Son on NetFlix, he swore we'd watched it together before but I didn't remember it AT ALL!!!  That's always a bit scary to me from a Memory Care perspective, when I don't remember a whole Movie, and it bothered him too, I could tell, coz he knows we did watch it together.  He said I didn't like it the first time I saw it and this time I did, so that was Weird too.  So, mebbe I didn't give it a chance and watch the whole thing the first go round?  Coz it did have a lot of CGI Special Effects in it and a story line harder to follow unless explained to me.  It was kinda a "Groundhog Day" premise of Live, Die, Repeat looping a specific Day in Time, but it had hilarious dialogue, so was almost comedic and Bill Paxton had hilarious Lines in it as the Drill Sergeant, plus, Cruise was good in it as a rather failed and pathetic cowardly Soldier who gets set up. 

One of the more hilarious Lines in it is when Paxton tells another Soldier he's gonna be Cruise's "Babysitter" on the Battlefield, filled with murderous invading Aliens.  The Soldier says, "All Day?"  And Paxton says dryly, "Somehow I don't think it will be that long..."   I was laughing for a full Minute every time I thought of that dialogue's implications coz of Cruise's ineptitude as an inexperienced and reluctant Soldier.  *LOL*  Anyway, I was trying to recall any small piece of that Movie that would trigger Memory that we'd seen it before, even in part, for me?  Nope.  *Le Sigh, Smiles & Shrugs*  Whaddya gonna do, Memory Loss is a Bitch like that and so random sometimes.  Coz I can recall things in minute details sometimes and other times draw a complete Blank.  

I forget Simple Words now and end up Googling them coz it frustrates me that I can't recall a Word I've probably used millions of times when I Write or Talk and suddenly, Gone, erased from Memory!!!  'Til I 'Find' it again and re-introduce it to my Brain's Data Banks, for now, 'til next time I forget it again!   And I remember People, but not always their Names now too, even if I've known them a long time, the Facial Recognition is there but if my Life depended on it the Name escapes me at times.  I'm relieved when I can finally recall a Name.  *Whew*  Now I know how The Man feels when he keeps having to ask me all the time something he just did and can't remember at all, I'm putting that burden just on Google.  *LOL*  

Yesterday I picked the Granddaughter up from Work, came Home and got him, she's still standing right next to him when he asks me if we should go pick her up first before we go do what I was taking him to do!!!  I'm like, "Honey, we did and she JUST went into the House, you were standing right next to her!"  It's like he saw her and either didn't recognize her... or... forgot her within Seconds and that she was Home, not still at Work???   He just says, "Oh" and it doesn't seem to bother him too much and he quickly moves on, I know it would disturb me more, a LOT more.  I'm Six Years Younger than him so I'm thinking, Fuck, what condition will my Memory be in Six Years from now?  That doesn't seem too far away and I have a lot more responsibilities and folks depending upon me keeping it together and holding it down!!!  So, I know why the Kiddos get alarmed as I'm slipping too!!!

And the Kiddos get alarmed enuf about Dad/Grandpa's slippage. but not as much as they do mine.  Coz they say at least Grandpa has ME, but I only have THEM... so, it's much more alarming to them.  *LOL*  Okay, in a way, that's fucking hilarious coz I know then how screwed we ALL are, Right?  *LMAOROTF*  I won't remember that I'm screwed tho', but they'll likely be somewhat Aware, so, I 'Get' it when I see a Panicked look if I Shake too much, or can't remember something in their presence.  I remind them I've Shaken for Years, the whole Lives of them apparently, I Shook as a Kid and my Parents sent me to slews of Docs, Specialists, Neurologically they never could explain it and it's just more apparent now, who knows why I even do it?  Those Commercials about TD, it's like that, but I don't take any Meds that caused it.

But on those Commercials they say the involuntary Movements the Subjects have are due to their Psyche Meds as a Side Effect.  I'm a Psyche Subject, but have not been on Psyche Meds more than a couple Days in my whole Life and didn't tolerate them at all, so they took me off them immediately.  I tend to have an extreme Behavioral/Mood reaction to Psyche Meds and it made shit way worse and volatile, so I can't risk taking them for stress, anxiety, depression, to regulate Bipolar I, ADHD or OCD that I have.  I just have to roll with it Cold Turkey and Learn to be Functional with the baggage those diagnosis/illnesses cause you to have that complicate your Life.  Some of it you can turn into a benefit to you actually.  I'm serious.

Being Bipolar made me fierce, intimidating and competitive as a Woman in a Patriarchal Corporate World for Decades.  And a good and very effective Fixer, Collector, Foreclosure Specialist and Bankruptcy Supervisor of those Three Departments protecting my Employers Assets in that Industry of my 1st Corporate Life.  *Winks*  Having OCD benefitted me in being an adept Auditor at Financial Institutions and at the DA's Office to not only find Mistakes, but be tenacious and Obsessive in Solving any Problems, since Resolution happens or I won't Rest until it does, I'm fucking Relentless about it in fact.  *Ha ha ha*  And ADHD gives me so much abundant Energy I can Work Circles around people half my Age still, and when I was Young, I had the unnatural Energy that made it seem like I was "On" something, but, I wasn't.  Could always drop a Clean UA and explain, I'm just Hyper folks, I told you, I'm like this ALL the time, it's MY Normal.  *Bwahahaha*  My Friends accept me "As Is" and get a kick out of how Abnormally my Normal is.  *Smiles*

The Stroke was somewhat of a Blessing coz it slowed my Thoughts down quite a bit, they still spin, but a slower spin.  So, now I can actually Sleep more like a Normal Person and it does seem Abnormal to me to be able to Nap now for Hours and Sleep a straight Eight!   I've gotten by with usually only Sleeping 3-5 Hours Tops my whole Life and if I'm on a Manic Bender, not Sleeping for Days at a time.  And I was usually Manic and didn't have the Bipolar Low Episodes as often, now it's more Mixed Episodes, so getting used to Bipolar Lows increasing has been a New Challenge.  I've had them infrequently all my Life, but not often like they come now, so Dealing with the Depressive Lows is harder for me than being Manic, which I was used to and could get thru coz its my previous "Normal", it's way harder to hit Bottom more often.  But I can't take the Meds for it, it provokes Rage for some reason to be on Psyche Meds.

Me Raging is never good and I like being Dawn Of The Light rather than Dark Dawn, so, we stay away from the Meds that would not suppress the latter being more dominant.  The Young Prince said I must have had D.I.D. before anyone detected it since I only had One Alter?  He could be Right.  I always knew I had that other Side of Me that was not like the dominant Me, but existed.  I just always thought perhaps everyone had that Dark Side and so it wasn't so Abnormal?  Really don't know for sure and still think we all do, some of you just don't switch as often or can suppress that Darkness more effectively, I dunno?   Mine can come in handy and I CAN actually let myself switch if Dark Dawn is gonna handle something or someone way better and much more effectively.  Let us just say Dark Dawn was handy to have at my disposal if I let her out to Play and have some Fun.  You even got to be the One to choose which of Me you got!  Free Will and all that.  *Winks*

   Especially in the Corporate Grind, Dark Dawn fucking Rocked and is Credited with a meteoric rise in the Ranks early.  *Winks*  By 23 I was already an AVP of a Major Bank and it's Foreclosure Subsidiary, running Three Departments and Supervising Nine Employees.   I could hold my own against The Good Ole Boy Network and Take Down Men like Donnie Two Dolls like it was a Sport.  *Bwahahaha*  Taking Down that Fucker will require someone going Dark and embracing that necessity in order to effectively be responsible for eliminating the Threat he poses to all of us.  I happen to think Gavin Newsome might be our Guy actually, there's something about how he Operates that resonates with me thinking he's got the Juice for it and is fearless about provoking the Cult and it's demented Cult of Personality Head of the Snake, cut it off and take it as a Trophy.  *LOL and Winks*

The Man used to ask me, when we'd meet for Lunch {I usually worked an opposite Shift to him, so we'd try to do Lunch in the City to see each other more often in a Day}... "Okay Honey, so whose Balls or Scalp do you have as your Trophy Today?"  *LMAOROTF*  And we further joked that he had his Set of Skills for Neutralizing Threats and I had mine, in our respective Careers.  So we could totally Respect that in each other and not Judge the Head Count either of us had tallied up in our respective Careers either.   Did it bother me that The Man's Victims were mostly Dead and mine had been spared their Lives?  No.  I know he's a Good Man and not a Bad one.  But he isn't one to trifle with either.

  He had a Specialized Job to do for his Country and he did it very well, he's still here, they're not.  They all got to Die for their Country for whatever reason a Sniper was sent out to dispatch them.  Sometimes that's how it just has to be for Career Military, Snipers in particular, their Job is to Neutralize Targets, not Scare or Capture them.  And he didn't choose the Profession, it chose him, coz he's such an excellent Shot and the Military noticed his Natural Skill and Ability and said, Son, have we got a Job for you!  He'd thought he'd just be a Weapons Tester at Quantico, ended up a USMC Sniper doing consecutive Tours in Vietnam instead as a Teenager, no Choice in the matter.  So he was killing people before he was fully even a Mature Adult and spent 39 Years Serving his Country with Honor and awarded so many Medals it looks ridiculous on Dress Blues when he'd wear them all!  He's Survived several Wars, Catastrophic Accidents, and he's even Survived Dark Dawn and our Crazy Spawn for almost 40 Years now too, he's a legit Survivor!  And he lives an Exciting Life with Risks.  *Winks*

When wearing all his Medals, it's like an SNL Eddie Murphy Skit portraying Edi Amin Dada!  With a Ruler holding some of the Medals coz they all wouldn't fit on his Chest in the Skit!  *LOL*  The Kids would laugh at that Skit and say, look, he's got as many Medals as Dad!   So our Inside Joke for a while when we'd go to Dining Out Functions and he had to wear his Dress Uniform and all his Medals, would be for me to go get a Ruler... and we'd Laugh and Laugh. *Bwahahahahaha*  And if a General was present at the Function, they would always find the Enlisted Guy there wearing the most Medals and come hang with us... his Bosses HATED that.  Coz, we'd end up being the Fun Table and when you're partying with a General, nobody is gonna dare pull Rank and say something to ya, so we'd have a blast. 

 I'm very naughty like that, Generals tended to think I was Fun.  Coz they have plenty of folks Kissing their Ass, I didn't Need to be one of them, and... I was The Hero's Wife.   Who had my own Fun Career Stories.  *Winks*  Generals, by the time you're that high up, tend to be Fun when they can cut loose and just have a good time, they also have Great Stories.  And you KNOW how I Like a Good Story... and Storyteller/Storytelling, you can't make some of this shit up that happens in Real Life and is worth Telling!!!  *Smiles and Winks*  Plus, The Man was in so long he knew some of these Generals long before they were Generals and had done Work for them a long time, so they knew he was The Real Deal and a legitimate Bad Ass.  I found that intriguing when we Dated and he knew it... I did like me a Bad Boy... so long as he is a Good Man.  *Smiles*

Listen, if a Guy couldn't hold his own with me, I can't Respect him, I just Bored and Moved On, it was no Challenge and I do Love a good Challenge too.  The Man was the Right fit for me and me for him, he wasn't afraid of a Strong Woman and Respected my ability to hold my own against any Man.  Just  guard your Balls and hold onto your Scalp around me and you'll probably be just Fine.  *Snort*  And, becoz we Respect each other's Super Powers we have hardly ever had a Real Fight in all the Years we've been Married, no Hills either of us was willing to Die on with each other, so, it Works for us.  We make a good Tag Team too, I pity the Fool who would Square Off with us and expect NOT to Go Down horribly.  Since Family is everything to us, just never mess with our Loved Ones and you'll be just Fine.  

 I can't say that about my 1st Husband, who was a total Psycho, no hyperbole intended.   And that had to end, since I can be a total Psycho myself... and if it didn't end one of us for sure was gonna Die.  He actually put a Hit out on me and we got that Intel from Law Enforcement, so, it was no Joke and by then I was with The Man and with his Skills I didn't need him needing to Neutralize a Threat either.  And I was determined it wouldn't be Moi that would Go Down, or any of my Loved Ones, and, I wasn't keen on catching Premeditated Murder Charges either.   Or ending up at Arizona State Hospital for the rest of my Life either, I had very Young Children to Raise and Protect.  Lucky for us he did something very Bad and ended up with a 27 Year Stretch, with no possibility of Parole, in Maximum Security Prison, which Sidelined him 'til he Served it all.  He's out, he's Local, I keep Tabs on that Fucker.

See, told you I got Good Stories to tell, Truth and Mi Vida Loca being way more Entertaining than any Fiction.  And The Daughter has even Better Stories, The Son and The Young Prince too.   So, that Trio are Apples that didn't fall far from The Tree really and have done some really Crazy shit to have Stories to tell about.  Princess T always Smiles and says our Life Stories always start out so Normal... AND THEN...  *Bwahahahahaha*   She's the only one really whose kept a lid on her Pre-Demonic Side for the most part.  When she was Younger and her Friend Crazy Pamela threw a Bible at her, The Young Prince merely Deadpanned, "Well, it was the Right Book..."  *Winks*  He knows his Little Sister is not one to Mess with or Test, when The Beast Princess emerges she's formidable as her Alter... Christ on a Bike, I don't even provoke that Beast, we all much prefer The Golden Child!   Every Family Needs and deserves at least ONE!!!  And, she's ours.  *LOL & Winks*

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Christmas needs a few Tales from the Dark Side, for Balance... Dawn... The Bohemian