Controversial Topics & Surgical Delays

 I'm coming back to this Pre-Scheduled Post with Real Time Updates for when it Publishes Tomorrow Morning.  First, we all showed up at the Hospital for The Man's Surgery really early Friday Morning.  They'd made him Fast all the Day before in preparation for said Surgery being bumped up with a sense of Urgency.  So, I bought myself, The Daughter and Mando Breakfast at the Hospital Cafeteria and we're waiting in his Room for him to be wheeled off for Surgery.  The Nurses came in and said they didn't see him on the Schedule for Surgery, so, they'd ask if the Docs were delaying it until the Weekend or Monday instead?  Okay, they'd call us, but clearly they weren't doing it that day.  Well, next thing I know, I'm all the way in Chandler at a Halloween Event to get my Mind off things and De-Stress, and I get a call from The Man to pick him up, they were Discharging him!!!  WTF?!

So, The Daughter and Mando went and got him for me, nobody offered explanation as to the last Minute Cancellation, just that it would still be Scheduled for the original Date of October 7th now!!!  Our House is within Sight of the Hospital so at least he could get picked up quickly by the Kiddos, I was a good 1.5 Hour Commute away, not expecting a Discharge!  So, anyway, that's the status of that 2nd Surgery now, God be willing and the Creek don't rise!  *Eye Roll*  He's just happy to be Home.  And now, in Real Time they caught the Assassin, which is great, but, despite Donnie Two Dolls recklessly making vile accusations against the Radical Left, before they even knew who the Shooter was... and riling his Base up for potential Violence and making the Guy the Far Right's Martyr of the Moment... turns out the Shooter is a Home Grown Mormon White Boy from a Family of the Conservative Right, his Dad a Sheriff and the Family very Pro Guns. Wild Accusations came back to bite MAGA World and the Orange Menace in the Ass.  They'll downplay all that now tho', of coarse.

  I forgot to pick up Princess T's prescriptions that the 2nd Urgent Care Doc ordered for her so I have to do that this Morning.  She seems to be doing better and did have enuf of the Meds from the 1st Urgent Care Doc to get by 'til now.   I still have to go into a CVS and see if they will give The Man and I our updated COVID Vaxxes, I'd heard they'll do it if you're over 65, which we're both well over that Milestone, so should qualify for the exemption, or whatever mandates there are now restricting the Booster?  I'll wait 'til Tomorrow for that tho' since I have to Work Tonight to fill-in for a Co-Worker.  I'm just doing On-Call Fill-Ins now.

I've got to Price some Merch to bring in with me when I go to Work, just a few pieces, I don't have room for much Fresh Inventory unless I Sell a bunch that's already there.  I did very well during the Labor Day Sales, just Smalls, but a LOT of them, so, this might be an above average Pay Period, which we really needed.   It was all Art Supplies and T-Shirt Sales for the most part, or anything Pokemon related, that's just the Reality now.  I can see why my Art Supplies are Selling briskly tho', I was in a Big Box Craft Store and their Inventory in Stock was pathetic!!!  So, no wonder Customers are Sourcing it from elsewhere.  And with Tariffs, Clothing is taking a big hit too.

The Daughter has a Cleaning Job for next Sunday, she really needs the Work coz her Account has Four Dollars in it.  I manage her Finances for her since she isn't Mentally capable to.  I used to be her Trustee back when she got SSI in her 20's.  But then the System deemed her Restored/Competent enuf to manage her own affairs, which, she wasn't, and she soon ended up owing Social Security over Nine Thousand Dollars!  Money that they awarded her and then realized it was an Administrative Error THEY made, and she was Non Compos Mentis, so when they called me about it, I simply said, well, she's NOT Competent, never was, so what did you expect, you all fucked up!  Twice!

Once by deeming her Competent and then a 2nd time by having Incompetent Staff mess up Administratively in a big way.   It's not her fault, it's not my fault, good Luck with that and I hope it all works out?  But, you cut me out of the Loop, so don't expect my Help now to run damage control behind what you did in error.  They were not happy about it, but, what could they do?  I'd warned them they were making bad judgment about her, but becoz she's highly Intelligent and quite personable, manipulative and very convincing, she fooled them.  I had said, well, she's Crazy, not Stupid, and Yes, everybody LIKES her just fine, and she'll tell you exactly what she thinks you wanna hear, she's got a great and manipulative personality, some Crazy folks do you know.  *LOL*  And speaking of Crazy folk, did you hear Donnie Two Dolls say on TV that a Plane Ticket costs Two Dollars!?  *LMAOROTF, he is so out of Touch with Reality it's beyond shocking!!!*

But, I digress, back to my Crazy Kiddo, I'm her Mother, I KNOW her, and she's gotten a lot better with Age, which is Answer to fervent Prayer, coz she used to be way Spun out of Control.   Way beyond my Control and even couldn't Control herself hardly at all.  But there is no Cure for what ails her, it's Forever.  I made Peace with that a long, long time ago, I Love her Unconditionally.  Now that she's in her 40's she is more Self-Aware of her Illness, which, she used to be in deep Denial about even having and very resistant about seeking Help for.  Now, she will receive Help offered and she wants Life not to be so Hard, so, she's more compliant than before, but, still pretty Crazy... that will never Change.  But, even she knows she's not as Crazy as this President, and she's certifiably considered Seriously Mentally Ill and Incompetent... so, what does that make this President when even the most Crazy folks say, OMG, that Mo'Fo' is Bat Shit Crazier than we are???!!!!! 

I still haven't gotten her to agree to go to DES just for 90 more Days of Nutritional Assistance, let alone to Social Security to re-qualify for SSI!  She's Paranoid to, she thinks they might abduct her.  Paranoid Schizophrenia is hard enuf without what's going on in America right now where she's hearing about and seeing people getting actually abducted by ICE indiscriminately like the Cartel do in Mexico, so it's heightened her Paranoia considerably.   What if THEY hear me Speaking fluent Spanish Mom?  What if THEY know I lived in Mexico 20 Years and just abduct me and send me back?  What if THEY come to our House and take most of us except Dad, coz we're Ethnically Mixed?  These are questions I cannot answer, she isn't so Nuts she doesn't have a Point!

And she has always had a Thing with The THEY, whoever THEY are, we don't know for sure?  She has always thought THEY were spying on her, looking for her, looking in the Windows, hearing thru the Walls, trying to Get her.  So, we had Blackout Blinds put in the 5th Wheel where she mostly lives, so THEY can't See her.  And the Art Studio Space has no Windows, just one in the Side Door, and we Blocked that out too so she's comfortable in there and THEY can't See her.  She "Sees" things with what she calls her "Real Eyes", which, is a Family Inside Joke now, and tho' she's got a decent Sense of Humor about it with us, she actually Believes in her "Real Set of Eyes", it's no Joke to her.  She "Sees" things with her Real Eyes that the rest of us can't See.  Which I suspect are her hallucinations and Psychosis.

And so it is and always will be, it's her and our shitty Hand Dealt and we play it as best we can.  So she can at least live somewhere and not be perpetually Homeless, Unhoused, or whatever you wanna call it when the Mentally Ill are without Shelter and nobody Cares.   But, I'd like her to come with a Check, even a small one, coz no actual Business will Hire her, too much liability for them to.   But, Friends Hire her all the time coz she's a good Worker and if you leave her alone to just Work she does Fine.  If you are someone she Knows and Trusts, she does just Fine too.  She Loves to Help people and has a huge Heart for it.  She'd Help even if she never got compensated for Helping, so I have to make sure she's not Exploited that way.

She just went over to the Elderly Neighbors coz the Mom wanted all the Windows washed, she did it without discussing if she'd get Paid, she'd of done it even if they didn't pay her.  But, they always do and she doesn't Care what they Pay her, if it's enuf to get her Two Mike's Hard to take The Edge Off her Crazy, and a pack of Cigs, she's Golden.  That's all she thinks she Needs/Wants in Life, her Two Mike's and some Cigs.  *LOL*  She enjoys taking Care of her Dying Boyfriend, she took Care of a previous Beloved Boyfriend in Mexico who had Stage 4 Cancer too, until he Passed from it.  She doesn't wanna see Mando succumb to it, so she does Rituals to help him Live longer.  Even tho' he thinks it's Crazy, I can tell it gives him Comfort tho', coz she Believes it can Work.  He Needs that, coz Docs told him it's Hopeless and took all his Hope.

Our Family is just Crazy enuf to still Believe in Miracles happening and that you're not Dead 'til God says so.   I told him to Live every day fully, so that when the Lord does call him Home, he will have no regrets that every Day was well spent.  He said that Attitude has Helped him tremendously not to get mired in the Dark Thoughts of his Prognosis.   Hey, we're all Dying, we just don't know the Date yet, nobody really does, they can only make Predictions based on Science and Experience with Disease, but, that can be iffy too.  Nobody has an Expiration Date stamped on their Ass that I've ever seen, some given Terminal Diagnosis refuse to succumb to their Expiration Date given.  Others in perfect Health have dropped Dead unexpectedly.  Some who try to Kill themselves can't even Succeed in spite of trying.  I know, tried once, didn't Succeed, guess God wasn't ready for me to?

My Mom, The Man, my Brother, my Son, The Young Prince and The Daughter have all tried and didn't Succeed either.  So, the running Joke is that we're all not only Crazy, but, we all totally Suck at Suicide.   Gallow's Humor.  Suicide isn't Funny and I pass no Judgment on anyone so despaired and Hopeless that they have tried, whether they Succeeded or not.  Life can be a huge Torment, depending on what you are tasked to go thru and try to Survive, Mental Illness is a Daily Torment of which there is no known Cure and probably never will be, and you know that too.  I decided once and for all that I wouldn't try anymore to Off myself no matter how Hard Life got or how Tormenting the Mental Illness got, I won't be Dead 'til God says so.   And more importantly, I will Respect and Honor that, and thus God's Timing for it, and be ready and at total Peace for whenever that comes?

I don't mind Blogging about Controversial Topics, like Suicide, which, so many folks are far too uncomfortable to hear or even talk about with candor.  But, Society is only ever as Sick as it's Secrets.   Far too many Taboos that nobody Talks about and suffer with in Silence becoz nobody will Hear and nobody wants to confront, and everyone has their Strong Opinions about.   I don't Care, I'll discuss anything, no matter how Controversial it may be, I don't shy away from Open discussions about the tough stuff.  My Kids know that so there's never been any Secrets, I know every damned thing, no matter how Hard to Hear, that they've ever done, ever been thru, down to the most intimate Detail of it.  And I'm Glad they know they can Talk to me about anything and everything and I won't Judge even if I don't Approve or Agree with whatever is was or is.

You can come Clean with me about anything, whether it's in your Past, your Present, or you Plan it in the Future.  If people were Heard more I think we could perhaps avoid some heavy shit that goes on when they're not Heard at all and nobody seems to Care enuf to fucking Listen.  Or, they know it's a Topic that is controversial and so it's not a Safe Space to be able to discuss whatever it may be.   I've gone with Family and Friends when they turned themselves in to Mental Health becoz the Thoughts they were having were too disturbing to ignore and keep to themselves.   But I highly suspect a lot of Americans are out there with their Thoughts and know there isn't a Soul they could Talk to about any of it... and then bad shit usually happens if it's Acted upon and goes from a Thought to an Action.  And that's often not such a Leap.

Our Country is in a horrible mess right now and a lot of folks are in Crisis due to it and feel powerless to change any of it.  Desperate people do desperate things and that's just the Nature of our Species to.  I foresee some desperate people shit playing out when it all comes to a Head.  And it will, that's not even some Psychic Prediction, that's just a Truth that we should expect if things continue to become more dire, more challenging, more disturbing, more frightening to people, more Hopeless and extremely difficult for some of them.  If you don't think ordinary folks can be capable of extraordinary revolt and even violence, just wait until they feel sufficiently threatened and at risk.   Fight or Flight and Survival Instincts will kick in with every single one of them.  I'd bet Money on it.

I did my Grocery Shopping this Morning, there were some good Sales on things we needed so I stocked up some more on Non-Perishable items.  Just in case the good times don't last on necessities prices.  *LOL*  When you have a big household you go thru a lot of necessities.  The Daughter told me she's girded herself to go with Mando so that they both can apply for Nutritional Assistance together on Monday or Tuesday, yay.  He eats over here all the time so told me he'll just buy Groceries for us with his, he lives alone and never cooks, so has been enjoying us inviting him for Meals here but doesn't wanna seem like he's not contributing to the Grocery budget.

  I feed anyone whose here when we have Meals, my Parents strongly Believed in the Gift of Hospitality being extended, for them it was culturally significant in their respective Cultures to always Feed Guests in your Home.   Growing up there were always extra people at our Table during Meals.  My Dad was a Master Chef so he enjoyed making Meals for people and it was one of his Love Languages to prepare them for other people.  He'd always make Extra even when he lived Alone, and bring it to Single Parent Families so that when the Mom came Home from Work, she wouldn't have to Cook too, for herself and her Children.  Therefore, all the Kids in Da Hood Loved 'Mister Fred', as they called him.  And when he got so Sick in the End of Life, those Neighborhood Women and their now Grown Kids came over to help look after him.

That was a huge Help for me since I had a full Dance Card looking after my Family's Special Needs, Raising Two Generations of Kids at the time, juggling a demanding Corporate Career, and looking after Two Elderly ailing Parents so they could remain in their Homes as long as possible.  It was a very huge Blessing to have Dad's Neighbors helping us out with his Points of Need and they were so Happy to do it, since he'd been so good to all of them for so many Years.  Mom lived in Subsidized Housing and some of the Immigrant Families she'd Tutored the Children of, also Helped us out with her, another huge Blessing.  Most were from Mexico, The Philippines and Africa, so had Cultural affinity to Helping the Elders of their Communities.  Mom had Tutored their Children so they'd get good Grades, not drop out, and some earned Scholarships.

As an Immigrant herself, with English being her 2nd language, when we were growing up, she and my Dad couldn't help us out with School as much.  Mom was well Educated, but our Schooling in America was so different and especially European Spelling was different, even in English.  And Dad, at the Indian Schools, was just put to Work and they called it an "Education".   So he really only had about a Grade School Education Academically, tho' he was a very Intelligent Man, his Education was not up to par, it still isn't in the Indian Schools, my Native American Relatives that have lived on the Rez all their lives, all have had a very limited and poor Education that isn't up to par.  It makes me feel bad for them coz they're Intelligent, but weren't given Opportunities I had the Privilege of.

Tonight in Real Time is gonna be The Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse.   Since I'm Working I don't know whether I'll get a chance to see it or not?  I won't get off until after 9:00 p.m., and that's if latecomers don't linger well beyond Closing, which they often do on Weekends.   We're Open from 9:00 in the Morning until 9:00 in the Evening every single Day, yet you still get people show up at the last Minute, or wait to come to the Registers to Check Out AFTER the damned Store is Closed!!!  We give Announcements starting at 8:00 p.m. reminding people we will be Closing at 9:00 p.m. so there's no excuse for waiting until you know the place has Closed before you mosey up to the Registers!!!  It's Rude, it's Inconsiderate, it's a Pain in the Ass for every Employee coz you want to go Home and there is no Overtime being Paid there. 

  Often the same Problem People that will delay checking out and then be even more problematic when they get to the Register, holding things up even more.  Arguing, being Karens, indecisive about what they were gonna buy all of a sudden, asking if they can make Offers {we won't accept any Offers made after Closing coz Vendors don't wanna be Called after 9:00 p.m.}, shit like that.  Anyway, some People... that's all I can say about that.   I'm very blunt with Problem People, I keep it Professional on any Job, but I don't put up with someone being out of Control or causing unnecessary Drama either.  In my Corporate Lives, both of them, I didn't Deal with Clients who were at their best so you learned how to manage them.  

By the time someone was in Collections, Foreclosure or Bankruptcy, their Lives and Finances were probably not in Order.  By the time they catch Charges and are dealing with the DA's Office, same, Lives probably not in Order.  You're just not gonna get the Best Version of them then.  *LOL and Winks*  And when you get the Worst Version of someone, you can't really let it infect who and how you are, their Toxicity and Bad Energy can't be allowed to Attach itself to you.  You be your Best Self even when they're being their Worst Self, then and only then will you actually have the Upper Hand, the most Control, and leverage.  People who are out of Control aren't usually making great decisions about anything at all.  They will have the consequences directly of those bad decisions and lack of Control, it will be their own fault for what then happens to them. 

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Be as controversial as you Need to be my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian