The Queen Of All Things Halloween

The VA FINALLY Authorized us a Home Nurse to help me with The Man's Care, Med Organization, and do Home Visits with him.  *Whew*  I got the Housekeeping done before she gets here this Morning, we'd mostly gotten it tidied and in Order, but I did the finishing touches since she's coming and I know they take Note of how Elderly folks are taking Care of the Home.  I did let them know it's a Three Generation Household, with several Special Needs Adult Kids and Special Need Grandchild also living here.  The more Help I can Qualify for the better, long time coming, but better Late than Never.  She'll come once a Month I think, unless she feels more frequent visits would be more beneficial to us.  We'll ease him in to once a Month for now.

While I was up Crazy Early to do Housekeeping, I Kid you not I began at 3:00 a.m. and finished by 7:00 a.m. when I had to take Princess T to Work, I also did some more Halloween Decorating.   But, it's all done and since I was doing it while most Slept, it was Serene and only The Son was up at 3:00 coz he leaves for Work at 4:00 a.m..   So, the Kitchen smelled like Fresh Coffee brewing and now I've got an Autumnal Scented Gold Canyon Candle lit too, I think it's Apple Pie Aroma, or something Apple smelling and Named.  *LOL*   I Love when the House has been freshly tidied, Organized and Cleaned.  Keeping it that way and on top of it is the challenge tho'. 

 I always swear and vow I will, then Life happens, and, you know how that goes when you've got 5-6 People living together of Three different Generations, and a Cat, it gets hectic and messy.  I'm the worst Offender.  The rest of them, with the exception of The Daughter in the Kitchen, are very Tidy people and clean up as they go.  She can Clean like a Merry Maids Service, but, when she Cooks the whole Kitchen ends up a shambles and she doesn't clean it up right away... so... we have discussions about that constantly.   I'm a Clutterbug, that's my Weakness and Household Sin, but, I cannot stand dirty Dishes or a dirty Kitchen or dirty Bathrooms... I can go Postal if our Kitchen and our Bathrooms aren't in Order and Clean all the time. 

The Daughter is great about doing the Housekeeping for me and she's exceptional at Cleaning, especially Deep Cleaning.  She did it for People all the time, both in Mexico and here.  She had some very influential and affluent Clients who Adored her becoz of how well she kept their Homes and Cared for them if they were Elderly or Sickly.  They all knew she was Bat Shit Cray-Cray, one Client, who is a very intimidating Man of Influence and Affluence in Mexico and could be a Scary Guy, Trusted her with his Keys to his Home.  Becoz he said if he forgot to let her in, she'd break in by climbing down his Chimney to get in, Clean the House, and leave him a Note to let her in next time!   *LMAOROTF about that Story* Which, she told me first and then he told me and validated on a Facetime Call from Mexico!   He thought it hilarious that most people are Scared Shitless of him, but she climbs down his Chimney like fucking Santa Clause to break in and Clean his House for him, so, he just gave her a Spare Key!!!   *Bwahahaha*  I told him, hey, she used to break into our House to Clean it too... not a Call you can make to the Police really, or YOU sound Crazy and absolutely Mental!  *Smiles*

  And, he wasn't the sort of fella to Call the Police for anything, he handles any of his own Problems, but, he Adores The Daughter and looked out for her, along with many others in Mexico.  I remember The Man getting so upset about her doing that same thing, that once he was gonna call the Police and I said, Honey, exactly what are ya gonna say, My Seriously Mentally Ill Daughter, who all the Cops knew anyway, broke into my Home to Clean it, and I wanna file a Report and Press Charges?  YOU will sound absolutely fucking Mental Honey, so... don't!!!  *LMAO*   Yeah, she's totally Mental like that  *Bwahahaha*, but they knew they could Trust her with their very Lives and all their Secrets.  She'll take a Secret to her Grave for you.  Both Pixs Above are me and my Industry Friend Michelle at "Sweet Salvage".  I was helping her Identify some of her Vintage Halloween she was unsure of it being The Real Deal, it was.  And if her Price Point was Right, it also was.  They know I'm the Queen Of All Things Halloween.  *Winks*  Our other Friend took the Pixs, he's not used to an Old School Camera, so, he wasn't very good at it, which was hilarious, we're giving him Instructions AS he's taking them!!!  *LOL*

But I digress... anyway, I told The Daughter, don't mess anything up coz it's all Done already and the VA Nurse will be here later this Morning after she visits another Client in Litchfield Park nearby.   I talked with the Nurse Yesterday to schedule the visit and she seemed very nice and speaks perfect English. Tho' her Name does sound Foreign, and difficult to pronounce, so I don't know what Country she might originally be from?  Or if she's just from an Immigrant Family who kept Traditional Cultural Names for their American Kiddos?   I Needed whoever they sent to not have a very thick Accent or The Man can't understand them and then gets frustrated.  Processing information is hard enuf for him now if you're speaking English with an American Accent, let alone a thick Foreign one he can't understand at all.  I'm good with Accents coz my Mom had a thick one and English wasn't her first language either, but this is supposed to be his Home Nurse.

Over the Phone I liked her and told her what some of our specific Challenges were, she wasn't aware he had TBI and some onset of Dementia, which is important for her to know when she interacts with him.  I think the VA gives them only Basics and you're to fill them in on the rest, becoz this is a Subcontracted Company that provides the Home Nurses Services for Veterans and the VA.   She said she had wondered if he had communication issues, coz every time she called and he had answered the Phone, he'd immediately hung up on her.  I explained why I don't let him make any decisions by Phone or agree to anything, without us Screening said Call, and she completely understood how vulnerable it would make him to.  It's one of his Safety Prompts, I'd rather he not answer the Phone at all frankly, but he forgets and likes to.  So long as he doesn't Agree to anything over the Phone, it's Okay.  Half the time he won't remember he even Answered or Who he talked to anyway.

When I went out to do Yardwork early this Morning too, I found a Dead tiny Baby Owl, freshly Killed but already covered in Sugar Ants, in the front Yard under one of our Big Pine Trees.  I'd seen a Grey & White Cat, who I know is a notorious Bird Killer, and it made me sad that she'd gotten a Baby Owl coz Owls don't have but 1-2 Offspring annually.  This Owl was only about the size of a Sparrow, so, very Young still, no Idea where it's Nest had been, I wasn't Aware we might have Owls Nesting in our Trees... or, this could be one of those Burrowing Owls we have in the Desert?  In which case, she found the Burrow and the Baby Owl must have been too close to the Entrance of it?   We have a Bird Feeding Station, so we don't want Bird Killers around.   Our Cat is an Inside Cat, so I don't know who owns this Cat, there's her and a Black & White Male Cat that hang around from time to time on our Property.  I don't think they're Strays, they probably belong to a Neighbor(s) and are Working Cats that roam, as Outside Cats just do.

We always had Working Cats before we got Eli, whose useless and will always be Unemployed, he's no good as a Working Cat and is definitely no Hunter.   He's the biggest Fraidy Cat about anything moving that Cats usually Naturally will Hunt, with the exception of People, he will fiercely attack People, go figure!!!  *LOL*   And becoz he's so effective at attacking Humans, one would think he'd be a great and intimidating Hunter, but, Nope, he has a Nervous Breakdown if he sees a DEAD Bug, let alone one that's still Alive!!!   And he weighs over 25 lbs., so it's hilarious to see a little harmless Beetle Freak him Out so badly that he falls apart emotionally!!!   Yet a full Grown Man can enter that Room and he'll Fuck them Up like he's Demonic and Possessed of The Devil!!!   He particularly does not like Men!!!   And he HATES The Daughter, and it breaks her Heart coz she's an avid Animal Lover.   *LOL*

I sure Wish I was as Motivated and Ambitious every Day like I was Today, so much would get Done!   When I am whipped into a Cleaning and Organizing Frenzy I can get an enormous amount done with Manic Focus and Energy levels, but, I can't sustain that anymore like I used to be able to.  Now that I'm Old I've found that my Bipolar Mixed Episodes are more frequently split, with less Mania and more Depressive Lows, it sucks.  I don't mind the Mania of Manic Episodes, I am a Force to be reckoned with on a Manic Bender... but Goddamn those Lows are Dark and unproductive.   I didn't used to have Mixed Episodes much at all, I was pretty unstably Manic all of the time, but Age catches up to even those of us with significant Mania.  And now I do find fighting the Bipolar induced Depression is a Bitch and grinds you to a halt and puts you in a very Bad Head Space to Deal with.  I'm Aware enuf to know what it is and that it will eventually Pass, so I don't Bottom Out now, but when it first began I did.  I'd hit the Wall and Burn Out terribly on a Low Cycle.

Today I had intense Mania sustaining me and it was Good, everything looks Amazing and The Man and The Daughter chipped in becoz they'd otherwise worry I'd do too much and feel it later.  Well, I probably will anyway, que sera sera, don't Care, feels Good to have everything so Nice in the entire House now, Decorated for Halloween, able to now kick back and enjoy it, along with the Atmosphere of a Good Flow of Chi established.   Clearing the Pathways and the absence of Stagnation is something you immediately Feel... and, it Feels Good.   Keeping on Top of it now will be my Mission Statement for the rest of Autumn so that I can fully enjoy the Seasons and the Celebrating of it's Holidays without the distraction of so much Work involved now.   The Daughter and Mando will get my Halloween Props down from the higher Shelving in The RV Garage Mahal to put out on the Front Porch.  Still deciding how I wanna Dress our Skeletons for a loose Theme?

The Daughter and I got pretty much all the Faux Pumpkins we want to put out this Year, on the Front Porch.   So, the Skeletons, dressed, will be the final Touches, along with a huge Halloween Graphics Tarp that I put on the Garage Door with Magnets.  It's got a CarnEvil Theme to the Graphics of it, but I forgot where I put it, so will have to look, even rolled up it's large, so shouldn't be too difficult to locate?   I discovered it Roadside after a big Monsoon Haboob blew shit everywhere a couple Years ago and must have taken it airborne.   No telling how far it had been blow and it was not damaged, so, I kept it.  It's like the kind Commercial "Spirit" Stores or Haunted Attractions use as Banners to Advertise Halloween.  I've never actually seen one For Sale so it was an awesome Score when I found it blown into our Neighborhood and just laying in the Road after the Storm had blown thru.  Those Storms are so enormous that they can pick large things up and drop them Miles away.

I think my Mission Statement now will be to find Costumes for the Skeletons to wear that I can find secondhand at a Chazza.  If I can find a Witch Doctor or Voodoo Theme I'm leaning in that direction, coz I have the Top Hats already for that Theme.   And, if I can't find an actual Costume I can just find Fabric in a certain appropriate Print and drape the Skeletons with it as Wardrobe.   It'll be Fun to look for something for them to wear, since, I don't do Costumes anymore.   I do have a Palm Reader Fortune Teller Booth Costume that will fit over a Skeleton and I could make that Skeleton look like a Fortune Teller.  Already have the Wigs for that since one Year that was my Costume... before I had Dreadlocks... now my own Hair is suitable.  *Winks*  Princess T hasn't decided yet what Costume she's doing, she and her Boy Posse always dress up even if they go nowhere Halloween Night.  *Smiles*

Last Year they got invited to a Halloween Party, but the Trio decided, after dressing up and getting together, to just spend it at Timmy's Grandparent's Home with just them instead and watch Marathon Cult Classic Halloween Movies and help his Grandparents hand out the Candy to the Trick-Or-Treaters.   His Two Younger Female Cousins, who his Grandparents have to finish Raising since his Uncle, their Dad, got Murdered, are still Young enuf to go Trick-Or-Treating, so the Grandparents had to take them around for Candy.   So, they let the Teenagers hold it down at Home and hand out Candy.  They are really not the Mister and Missus Party-All-The-Time Teenagers anyway, so they enjoyed that more than some House Party for Young Adults.   And now all of them are turning 20 this Year, even less so, they're all Old Souls, mostly having been Raised by Old People.  *LOL*

  Timmy now doesn't live with his Grandparents, he moved in with his Boyfriend, who still lives at Home with the Mom.  Matthew is away at College at NAU, so don't know if he'll be coming down again for Halloween or not?  He's coming down for Princess T's Birthday on the 22nd so they can all Celebrate it and hang out.   Neither Princess T or Matthew approves of Timmy's Boyfriend, they think he could do better and that this Guy has no Ambition and no Job.   I met the Guy, soft Handshake, very Quiet, Tall, looks Hispanic, comes from a well off Family.   I don't know that he's a Trust Fund Baby, but, he could be?  Timmy Works and I don't know how much of all the expenses he's shouldering, but, they've been together a while now, so...

 

The VA Nurse just left, she was here for 3 Hours, she could see why I was overwhelmed with the Meds particularly, the VA hadn't even clarified it well for her, plus, we also have Civilian Specialists too prescribing Meds.   And the VA and Civilian Docs you have to see don't always communicate well with one another, turns out both Docs had prescribed the same Meds for Two things he's taking, and, since they came from different Manufacturers, they looked different too, different Size, different Color!   She's going to clarify which Meds he should still be on, which to discontinue, if the VA sends them it makes it seem like you should still be taking them, but, mebbe not?  *Le Sigh*   She was so Nice and we really liked her.   I think she was Born here and her English is fluent with no accent, but she comes from an African Immigrant Family and her Name First & Last is decidedly African.  A lot of Nurses now are from Africa, the Philippines, and Eastern Europe.  Most Doctors and Specialists now are from Africa, various Asian Countries, or India.

 

Anyway, she got everything straightened out and had a great sense of Humor about it all.   I'm so glad they're sending Help coz I had gotten completely overwhelmed.   She made me feel better by telling us we had one of the most Organized Systems of any of the Clients she'd been Assigned to, so, don't be so hard on Yourselves.  She met The Son and The Daughter, since he'd gotten Home from Work already by the time she came.   They both told her they try to Help me but it's daunting for them too, since both The Man and I are on so many Meds now and keeping accurate track of it is a logistics challenge, you almost feel like a Pharmacist at times!!!   *LOL*   She thought The System we had was more than adequate.   But could clearly see the confusion was from the Docs changing Meds, not informing us to discontinue some Meds and the VA still kept sending Meds he's no longer on, different Docs prescribing the same Meds and not communicating that with each other or with us, so, a lot of it isn't even our fault.  Governmental Chaos and Inefficiency is pretty typical, as we all know, wading thru it is a Gauntlet.

The Son got her and us to Laughing with his mimicking of Grandson Allen's, "It's Expired", Routine.  As it turns out, The Man had squirreled away some Expired Meds he hasn't been on for Years and I didn't know, so, those got eliminated and spirited away.  *Whew*   He had a Xanex, just the one Pill, from probably a Decade or more ago when the VA used to prescribe it to him, I didn't like him being on it, or any of the Opioids he got hooked on Years ago that they handed out to Veterans like Tik Tacs... and it was a Mystery Pill 'til we Google Lensed it and discovered, it's a Lone Solitary Xanex... so that was spirited away too!  *Eye Roll*  She's gonna re-check with his VA Doc about what he should still be taking and what we Need to just get rid of and take him off of?  Lord have Mercy, what an Ordeal it all is!!!  

 And the kicker is, you've got a Bipolar Wife, a Schizophrenic Daughter, an Autistic Bipolar Son, and a Bipolar Granddaughter... who are tasked with making sure he's taken Care of and assisting me when it's all too much... so, it is like a fucking Comedy of Errors!!!   She said ours is the most Complex Case she's ever had, no kidding... *Bwahahaaha*  I told her in the Past, some Services provided, the people they sent to Help Quit in a single Visit and never returned, it just overwhelmed THEM!  She was Amazed it took the VA this long to even provide us with some Services for him since the last time he had any Approved, well over a Decade ago.  I told her I'd been requesting Help since the Granddaughter was only 5, she turns 20 on the 22nd!   When I was still Raising Special Needs Grandkids, Services for them required me not to have The Man present... and Services for him required me not to have them present, so, what to do?

Plus, Bureaucracy, both in the Military and the Civilian Sectors, just grinds that slowly and Services are parsed out so sparingly with a myriad of Qualifying or Disqualifying Factors.   That you often become exhausted from just asking for Help that isn't coming, or that you don't Qualify for if you don't happen to be Flavor of the Month.  or the Hoops to jump thru to get Approved, then Re-Certified for continued Services constantly.  As it is this is only Approved thru November 1st, so, we get about 1.5 Months Worth of Services and may or may not Qualify for more, even if they're Needed, so I'll take advantage of the Home Nurses while we have them this short time.   We'll revisit all of that in November... I'm used to the whole Dog and Pony Show of Re-Qualifying for the few Services we've ever been Approved of.  Some are only Month to Month, some 90 Days Max, that's the most time I've ever had any Approval last before you Need to Qualify all over again, sometimes from Scratch.  

Even if the Recipient has a Permanent Disability put forth in Writing... you often are Required to Provide UPDATED Letters saying it's still fucking PERMANENT!  *Huge Eye Roll*  They did request a Weekly Visit rather than Bi-Weekly or Monthly.   Since, he's Medically so Complex and our Situation is an Extreme Caregiving Household with more than one Individual with Special Needs and high maintenance Care, that are PERMANENT.   I should have fucking Staff here at The Asylum... wha wha wha... Yeah, Good Luck with that and we Hope it all Works out Mrs. G..  *Bwahahaha, how many times I've heard THAT I can't even keep track of the Count of!*   I've held it Down and kept it Together this long tho', so my expectations remain Low and thus I am not continuously disappointed or expecting more... you get what you get and you are Grateful for whatever comes your way that is a Present Help.  We are a Band of Survivors, if nothing else.  *Smiles and Winks*

I got this Baby Chantilly Cake for Princess T for her Birthday, they piped her Name on it, but since I don't use her Name in my Blog I'm not Sharing that.   I got a Quartet of Berry Mini Tarts for the rest of us, pictured Below.   SAFEWAY's Bakery always does a very nice job and is close enuf to transport the Confections without them being jostled around too much.   WHOLE FOODS had a Wonderful Bakery too, but they're clear in the East Valley and I've sometimes never gotten them out of the Store without some damage if the Cashier is too heavy handed with them.   And it's still triple digit Temps so the Whipped Cream can get wilted and the Cakes, Pies or Tarts begin to Sweat.   She's not a big Fan of Cakes or Pies, so this is light and more what she prefers and small enuf not to have waste.   I had a 10% Off Coupon from their Pharmacy for getting our Flu Shots there, that you can then use on your Groceries, so the Cake was almost Free.

 

Customer: *telling me their whole life story*

Me: that’s crazy.. ur total is $15.85

The Cost of Milk was way up, but Eggs were down and on Sale, and enuf of what we needed was on Sale, including Fresh Fruit and some thin cut New York Strip Steak.  But, the Milk was spendy and we needed some, so, whaddya gonna do, we don't have a Cow or Goat.  *LOL*  The Bakery items are more expensive than they were before this Administration and the Free Fall into Economic Chaos.  But, some things we really like to eat, we bite the bullet and just get them when Budget permits.   I had a good Paycheck from the Antique Mall this past Pay Period, so, it made it so I could do right by Princess T for her 20th Birthday.  *Whew*   However, this Pay Period Sucks the Big Kahuna already and is abysmal, one of the worst ever.   And we've only got One more Week to calibrate that into being Profitable instead of owing the Mall, coz Rents aren't becoming Cheaper just coz Sale and the Economy are Circling the Drain.   And, I haven't been pulling Shifts coz I got Burnt Out pulling too many covering for No-Shows.   So, no Comped Rent for this next Pay Period, I don't have the Time to agree to Work any.

I went in on Friday to pick up my Check, it was Friday Nights I had been covering regularly.   Until I wasn't, coz I found out they'd duped me into thinking who I was covering for wasn't back, and he was, but now Working Thursday Nights and nobody told me.  Plus, Friday Nights were becoming a nuisance in several ways so I was glad to say I didn't want to do it anymore,  It was meant to be temporary and I felt they were trying to make it permanent for me, knowing I didn't want that.   I've seen my Friend Richard since then, he seems to be doing well, tho' looking quite frail, so I Hope he isn't pushing himself too hard and came back too early?   He had a Double Bypass and a Liver Transplant, and he's been in fragile health for Years with out of control Diabetes, so, he doesn't Heal quickly or well.  He doesn't behave himself either and I asked him if he will now, and he implied, probably not, which, is a Shame and waste of time and Money to Save him and give him another Chance.  Such a reprieve from Dying should make him more Serious about behaving.

 

Transplant Lists to wait for an Organ are long too, so getting a replacement one is a Blessing that shouldn't be squandered by doing what got you into Crisis Medically in the first place.  Richard is a good Friend, but I've nagged him for Years for not taking Care of himself and actually eating so many excessive Carbs, that what happened, was bound to happen!   He would eat an entire Large Pizza from "Barro's" by himself, and their Large is really Large!!!  And then he'd go into a Carb Coma standing up at Work and fall Asleep, I was always really worried about him having a major Stroke or Heart Attack, losing Limbs, going Blind, etcetera.  I Wish him Well, but he has to behave himself to achieve Wellness and do what he knows he's supposed to do.

I've been watching with interest and a fair amount of disgust, how the Administration is trying to portray the Assassinated Charlie Kirk as some kind of National Hero and Righteous Martyr to Honor.  From everything I've heard now about the Hate filled rhetoric he espoused and how many Human Beings he Hated and considered subhuman, it's reprehensible to me and let us not Pretend any of it was Okay what he Stood For in Life and who he showed us he was.   And tho' what happened to him should happen to no-one and is tragic, and we can still extend sympathy and empathy towards those who Loved and were close to him, and respectfully allow them to Grieve for their Loss, don't expect all of us to be Silent about what he willingly was about during his Lifetime.  Honoring what he Stood For is not something I am willing to be asked to do or support.  It's a good portion of what's Wrong with Humanity when people Hate so deeply as to treat any other Human Beings Inhumanely and find them less worthy of dignity, respect, Rights, compassion, equality, and Loving Kindness.  

Just becoz someone is now Dead, doesn't excuse how they Lived.  And Pretend as if they aren't who they showed they were.   Hate Speech is protected by Free Speech tho' and plenty of people spew it and deeply Believe it's okay, and some even pretend as if it's a Christian Value to behave that way.   Not sure what Brand of Bad Religion or alleged 'Christianity' they belong to that Hate is a cornerstone of their Teachings and Godly?   Don't know how Pleasing it is to God, certainly doesn't bear Good Witness for whatever your Faith happens to be when you're a Hate filled Human Being towards other Human Beings.   And rile other people up to be equally Hateful and Biased, by ginning up Hatred in those who agree with being that way and will perhaps resort to violence for their Grievances.  That's why Extreme Views tend to attract Extreme people willing to use violence to be a solution to their Grievances and Causes, including Murder and Assassinations.  This is what we should be unanimously AGAINST, but I see dangerous reactions from Right Wing Politicians and the President.

I see them escalating Divisive sentiments and not toning things down or trying to unify the Country at all.  But, all that said, it is factual that still slightly only less than Half of America polled thinks this Administration is not doing a good job and is unhappy with Tariffs, how he's handling the Economy, Immigration, behaving, breaking and ignoring Laws, Grifting, Extorting and Shaking Down people, going after illegally and exacting Revenge and Retribution on people he considers his Enemies or Opponents Politically or doesn't like what they say.   So, think about that for a Minute, about 39%-49% of America still is on Board with what he's doing, saying, destroying, not bothered by Criminal Activity, endorsing Views what are Questionable or dividing the Country further and persecuting People.    I'm astounded, I'd of Hoped by now more Americans would think this has all gone quite Off Rails and is dangerous and don't Support it. And we shouldn't want a Lawless Leader with no Moral Compass or restraint, Threatens people, doesn't wanna even Represent over Half of us, and is so thirsty and high on a Power Trip that he'd destroy a whole Nation for his own Personal Agendas and Financial Gains.

********

Well, the High Drama in America and the Fuckery continues unabated... so, I'm just gonna enjoy Halloween and live in my Moments... Dawn... The Bohemian