Flood The Zone

Strap In, we're going Long on this Post.  *Winks*  The Young Prince will be back by next Weekend.   I guess Allen will be moving to Arizona, he finally got his VA Disability Approved, so, he can then afford to Live and Work in Arizona with the addition of the Disability Pension he's Entitled to.  Those Disability determinations take a very long time to process thru, I know for The Man it took Two Years before he got his first Check and then what they owed him from what he should have always been receiving of it.  So, Allen should get a lump sum too of back pay on his Disability now that it's finalized.  He has a lot of Trauma, most Disabled Veterans do.  And thinking he could be his Husband's Full Time Caregiver was always Too Much and a tall order for a Young Man with Disabilities of his own, I knew this when they got Married.  So, I guess Allen's Family have disowned him again becoz tho' they won't Live together anymore, he still wants to be in a Relationship with a Man, our Grandson.  And they're Fundamentalist Christians, they want their Son to be Straight... and... he's just not.  You can't Pray the Gay away.

  And, so now, Allen will be getting more Services from the VA for his own Mental Health and Disabilities, which are considerable and evident. So that's only a Good Thing and I'm Happy for him receiving it finally, it's been a very long Wait.  And them deciding to be "Friends With Benefits" is what Princess T said they probably always should have just been, coz they're both dealing with their own Special Needs and Disabling Factors that complicate their Relationship... and all of their Relationships in general really. I agree.  Allen is Autistic, more than Mildly Moderate on the Spectrum as our Son was Diagnosed, and he's Bipolar.  I'm Surprised that the Military didn't recognize that he was Mentally Ill any more than they recognized him being Gay actually, the Autism to me is more Apparent, he can almost Pass for not being Gay coz he's a very Manly and very Macho Gay Man!  He even likes doing a lot of Straight Man things.  *LOL*

    Now our Grandson, on the other Hand, is Fabulous and he ain't flying under any Gaydar whatsoever, ever.  In fact, he has trouble "Passing" for being a Man rather than a Woman most of the time, people can't always be sure.  Even when he's Presenting as a Man, he's so Gender Fluid he's never looked entirely Male or entirely Female, or Acted entirely Male or Female, even as a Small Child.  *LOL*  Allen will also probably continue to help our Grandson Financially until we know if he'll receive his own Disability from Social Security... or not?   I had told them they had to Work Out their Relationship, they are both Grown.  The Young Prince told me that Tyson our Grandpup Pit Bull also got attacked by Two Fighting Pit Bulls that trespassed into their Yard!  He was a Rescue and Shelter Dog coz he was given up by a previous Owner coz he would not Fight.  The Grandsons wanted me to know about what happened, so I wouldn't Question his now messed up Ear and patches of missing fur that might never grow back.  My Poor Baby, he's not a Fighter!  Unless he's Protecting his Humans, he's as Gentle as a Lamb and won't Fight back.

 Today is really Overcast with heavy Storm Clouds, so we'll get a Storm, probably before Nightfall Today, but it brought Shade and lower Temps by a lot, which made it nice to be out in.  The Humidity was higher but the Sun was behind all the Clouds so it was pleasant enuf to go do a few Hours of Environmental Cleanup and take The Man with me this time.  Yes, he mostly just stayed in the Truck with the Windows down at the Nature Preserve, tho' I did bring a fold-up Chair for him to get out and sit in, so he could just enjoy Nature.  And I brought a Cooler with Iced Drinks, but they were Healthy ones and so it was a chore to get him hydrated and drink even just One.  *Le Sigh and Eye Rolls*   They're Ocean Spray Cranberry Drinks with different other Fruits, very good, I can get him to at least drink some, coz he won't drink the Bottled Water at all.

But, he had a nice time and it was Breezy and only around 80 all Morning, by Noon it was still under 100, which for July in Arizona is considered Cool.  *Ha ha ha*  We traded in our Aluminum Cans coz I had the back of the Truck filled with Bags of them.  So, then I Treated him to Lunch at "Robeks" so I could get my Acai Sorbet Fruit Bowl that I'm now seriously Addicted to.  I got him a Margherita Pizzolo, which was similar to a Calzone.  He said it was 'Okay', if it's a Health Food Joint anything on the Menu, no matter how tasty, he'll only say is 'Okay' coz he'd prefer Food that isn't as Healthy, what can I say?   And if I claim it's "Good for him", then he'll claim he didn't like it at all.  *Le Sigh, and more Eye Rolls*   Personally it smelled delicious, was piping Hot from the Oven, and looked more than just 'Okay', so, I didn't react to his lack of enthusiasm about my choice for him.  Coz, he refused to get out of the Truck, sometimes now he doesn't wanna bother walking at all even with his Walker and no matter how close to a Restaurant I get the Truck.  I think I'd have to drive the damned Vehicle right INTO the place to get him out!?  *LOL*

Now, it was nowhere near Sundown, but he was getting belligerent early Today, might have been coz it's a gloomier Day so looks like it should be Sundown, I dunno?  He was becoming contrary about getting out of the Truck, it was nice enuf to leave him in there with all the Windows down tho', so I choose my Battles wisely with him.  And I did consult Dr. Google about gloomier days triggering the Sundowning Syndrome and sho' nuff, they do!!!   It says, and I Quote: Yes, People with Sundowning Syndrome {late day confusion in Dementia}, often experience Symptoms earlier in the day when it's gloomy, overcast, or raining outside.  Well, Thank Baby Jesus and all the Saints then that we don't live in England!  *Bwahahahaha*   Coz if he was like this all of the time I'd possibly be up on Charges.  *Winks and Laughs*  So, I took him Home before Noon, coz it was evident he wasn't having Fun anymore and it was gonna Sour my Good Mood to try to drag him around trying to have a Good Time.  *LOL*

When I'd picked Princess T up from Work I Scored Four Bagged Big Lots of Pokemon Cards from SAVERS, whoop whoop, Easy Sell at the Antique Mall, great Margins!!!  Definitely will Stimulate Trade for our Locked Case... Yay and a Happy Dance!  I also Scored a Bagged Lot of POP Figures, another Easy Sell for Resale purposes, those are Madly Popular no matter what Characters they are and even Unboxed.   I got some Bagged Lot of Mini LOL Dolls, those Sell well and can be Priced to Move, they're still very Popular with Younger Kids to Collect and Play with.  I also got another Bagged Lot of those Mini Foods, which is good coz I've damned near almost already Sold Out of them and I had a lot in my Inventory just a few Weeks ago.  Those are the kinds of Smalls that a Single Customer will spend a lot of Money on, buying out most of what I have, which, is what I want for the Quickest Turns and Repeat Customers who will spend the Money and Buy in Bulk.  I don't Care why they're Buying so much, just that they are.  *Smiles*

I have no idea yet how I'm doing this Pay Period, I haven't been Focused or Fixated on it, last Pay Period had been dismal, so, I can only Hope that the Summer Slump isn't prolonged?  It's been Hot and Cold with Sales.  Before the dismal Pay Period I had a really Strong one, and then things flatlined again.  And they flatlined with Two Holidays and Sales, so, that was a Surprise.   Some Businesses during those Holidays did very well, we at BAAM did not, I spoke to multiple Vendors, we Sell a variety of Products, and nobody did good last Pay Period, all of them said it fell flat and the Holidays {Father's Day and 4th of July Weekend} did absolutely nothing to boost Sales at all for them either.  Of coarse the Mall did absolutely nothing to Stimulate Trade really for either Holiday, so that was at least part of it... but certainly not all of it.  People were not out spending Money and being more calculated about what, where and when they spend it if they are spending it now.  I know I am!!!

 

Right now if I can make Money off spending some, I'll do it, but not unless I can on Non-Essentials.  Otherwise, the majority of our Spending now is on Essentials only, and it's becoz of this Economy and this Administration's poor handling of it and making it intentionally {or stupidly} worse.  I can't really tell if they are intending to crash the Economy of not only America, but Globally, or... if it's just stupidity, ignorance and only focusing on enriching themselves at the expense of the rest of the Nation and the World?   Most of America is hanging on by an Economic Thread while the 1% are raking in the $$$ in Spades.  So, why would they, those that have all the Power and all the Money, wanna Change it to benefit everyone else and not themselves, I ask you?  Do you remotely think they'll ever admit they have Enough, more than Enough?  Or have a Conscience about who doesn't and is so far Below having Enough to Survive that they have extreme Lack or at least Worries that things will get Worse for them? 

I have tons of stuff that needs doing and I could be and should be doing, but I'm rather overwhelmed by the volume of it actually.  So, I've chipped away at it slightly, but not really with enthusiasm or motivation to do more, so I confess I'm avoiding some of it, it's easier.  I didn't use to procrastinate so much, and do try to still set aside a couple Hours a day to do unpleasant tasks that just can't be avoided, but then, I don't do anything Extra... I'm being a real Basic Bitch about what needs doing around here lately.   Suddenly being real Basic and not Extra is so out of Character for me too!  I'm without the Energy mostly to tackle everything on the To Do List and so I do Moderate, Okay, what absolutely cannot be avoided and HAS to be Done every day, and isn't Optional?  Then, if it's not on THAT List, it isn't always being attended to lately, or just barely.  The just barely days are when I try hard to knuckle down and Just Do It... as the Iconic Commercial says.  *LOL* 

I'd rather just be Blogging or Resting most of the time when I don't HAVE to do something, absolutely HAVE to do it, anyway.  I do HAVE to do the Caregiving, Feed and Water everything Alive around here to keep it all Alive {Smiles}, administer the Essential Medications, pay the Bills, keep up the Basic Housekeeping duties, and do those few little Side Hustles that make some supplemental discretionary Income to ensure we make it to the next Payday and stay out of the Red Financially.  But, then, whatever else needs and should be Done, isn't.  I do try to encourage myself of what I did accomplish so I can feel the least bit accomplished and think, well, that was Enough... Enough for the Day anyway.  Tomorrow will be a Brand New Day... Rinse & Repeat.  It Feels a little like a Treadmill that the OFF Switch is broken on and you can't get off either.  So, it is Important to do some Fun stuff, so that all Work and no Play doesn't make Dawn go Mental or go get the Matches.  *Ha ha ha*

The Haboobs have put a thick layer of Dust on literally everything too, mostly Outside, but it tracks inside.   And The Man keeps leaning on the New Fridge across the Control Panel, you know that one we couldn't see initially and didn't even know was there?   And I felt like a putz when the replacement Fridge Guy came out and showed me, oh, this is the Problem, not defective, they should have instructed you of it in the Showroom tho'!   Anyway... the one that if you touch it, can change temperature settings, shut off the Water Feed and Ice Maker, and then take 24 Hours to re-set to start filling the refillable Water Pitcher with Ice Water and start making Ice Cubes... as well as keep everything the temperature it needs to be!!!   So we had Drinks in the Middle Drawer almost Freezing coz he bumped it to too Cold on it's Control Panel, and things in the Crisper and Veggie/Dairy Bin not getting Cold enuf coz he bumped that Control Panel too when getting something out.  

 

Oy Vey, so I have to remind him, don't lean on the Panel up there across the Top when you open the Fridge Door and stand there looking in there like it's some form of Entertainment!!!   I know he's unsteady, but he has a Walker to lean on, so I told him to lean on it, not the Panels or Drawers and such of the New Fridge and fuck things up... it's New, I haven't even made the 3rd Payment on it yet!!!  As it is the Alarm goes off coz he stands there so long with the Door Open gazing blankly inside like he completely forgot why he opened the Door to begin with, which, he probably did.  *Le Sigh*  He has to be Supervised in the Kitchen and follow Safety Prompts,  He's not even allowed to use the Stove or Oven... and now this is just another one I guess we have to implement and remind him incessantly about.  

Every day I refresh him with his Safety Prompts and go over them all, so mostly he follows them.  He doesn't want me getting Cross with him when he breaks them and puts himself in Harm's Way.  You can't have Eyes on him all of the time, it's impossible... as impossible as Herding Cats.  He's not allowed to handle his own Medications, and when he takes them someone else has to be watching him to ensure he did take them, did swallow them, took the Right Injection, etcetera, coz otherwise it would be impossible to know what he's taking, not taking, hiding, grabbing mine instead of his... any number of things that can't happen.  Plus, he thinks he did things he didn't do and does things he can't remember doing now all of the time.   Above is some of The Young Prince's Art.

 Anyway, The Man's fabrications and complete lapses of Reality are so Real to him he could pass a Polygraph, he's that convinced.  I think we're seeing that with this Prez, detached completely now from Reality.  And so all the Lies and Stories being told so openly and shamelessly, he probably does Believe and why he gets defiant and angry when challenged about it.  Thank God that The Man isn't running the Country or making any decisions that are important tho', or affect anyone else's Lives.  This President IS and it's becoming more and more disturbing, more alarming and out of Touch, so untethered to Reality that it's fucking dangerous and risk filled beyond all Belief or comprehension!!!   And what his drunken, incompetent, Gender Obsessed, Racist U.S. Secretary of Defense... um, I mean War, Hegseth, who is Obsessed with War and Masculinity and being all White Cartoonishly Virile Males, is now doing to our Military... I have no Words!!!  Just OMG!  That Guy has some Issues!!!

He wants to get all Military Personnel over the Age of 30 Tested for their T Levels and mandatorily take Hormone Enhancing Drugs to ensure they are Masculine Enough!!!  Just WTF?!  Of coarse he's also Obsessed with Purging our Military of all Intelligent and Skilled Personnel, all Women, all Minorities... pretty soon it will be an Aryan Nation Recruitment Requirement any day now!!!  And it's hardly making the News... which, that is kinda scary in and of itself really... that so much that is so Wrong is being glossed over as if it's not even News worth covering or just a Blip on the fucking Radar!!!  Well, Bannon did Advise them to "Flood The Zone"... and well, seems they took that Advice quite Seriously and that's exactly what they're doing.   An Avalanche of Shit simply overwhelms and confuses the Opposition and the Public... it's too much to wade thru or Process effectively, before more Shit literally then buries you in it. 

The Niece {Far Right on Two Bottom Pixs and in Center Front on Top Pix with her Two Younger Sisters}, called the other day and I missed the Call coz I was in Bed early.  She goes Long on Phone Calls, as Long as I do on Blog Posts, so, you have to be able to take a Long Call and I just couldn't, too Tired.  *LOL*  So, I've got to remember to call her back now and see whatssup?  She hadn't called me that long ago, just Days actually, so I am Hopeful it's not Bad News?  Her Dad isn't in great Shape and she's his Caregiver now and lives with him in his Subsidized Apartment for Down and Out Veterans.  She thinks he's got Dementia too and it certainly sounds like it, so she's been bouncing off of me how similar is her Dad's Behavior to The Man's?  Coz we know that The Man has Dementia that is progressing but in earlier Phases of the Disease... but since her Dad lived alone for so long, nobody was able to see how much or how rapidly he may have been declining? 

She said he takes Spam Calls Seriously who Prey on and Con the Elderly.  He's gotten himself in Trouble with that.   He gets really Angry and Defensive if she tries to take the Call and report any exploitation of a Scam someone's engaging in.  I know we get those Calls all of the time, they must have access to Information that Targets your Age Group, Medical History, who knows what... coz, I don't recall getting so many of these Calls until I was a Senior and particularly of Social Security Age.  The big Fraud now are the Medicare and Medicaid Scams, and Scams to Target Veterans as well, especially Disabled Veterans.  So I do Wonder if Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and VA Data Bases have been seriously and successfully Hacked.  I'm no Conspiracy Theorist but there are some Questions I have that are without Answers about how much Data is being Breached these days. 

 We all know Elon did it during DOGE and accessed and gave access to Sensitive Information... probably Sold it and also used it for Financial Advantages.  He's not the World's 1st Trillionaire for nothing.  And you don't ever EARN Billions, let alone a Trillion Dollars.   And Today when I visited the Old Southside Barrio we used to live in, which mostly has a lot of Low Income Families, they have built not ONE but THREE huge Data Centers right there by it!!!   OMG... first of all, Arizona is a Desert with Water Shortage as it is... an an Electrical Grid that can barely keep Pace with a growing Metropolis that is the 5th largest now in the Nation.  And the Environmental Damage is a huge Unknown, and they've built these not far from Three Major Rivers and a Big Nature Preserve.  They already know it will heat up, around each Data Center, for a Six Mile Radius, temperatures by in excess of 15 Degrees! 

 We already get up to or over 118 in the Summertime... 15 Degrees more than that would be not Sustainable to Life Forms, any of them.   No complex Animal or Plant Life can Sustain Long-Term Survival at 133 Degrees.  Some Microbial might... but we're not Microbial and neither are most Plants or Animals we rely upon for Life.   Those Three Centers will suck up all the available Water and use up all of the Electricity or at the very least, jack up the Prices, and that area is too Low Income to then be able to afford it or to move elsewhere.  Or to have Lobbied against the building of them in their Communities.  The Data Centers are springing up around Small Town America for the same reasons, they can't successfully fight the building of them. 

 Or ICE Facilities too... another Big Red Flag as to why does America NEED so many enormous Concentration Camps suddenly?  Ones that aren't even giving the required Congressional Access to them to see what's going on to those being Kidnapped off the Streets of America and Held in them without Due Process.  Or at least the Ones that are still Alive and not Shot Dead in our Streets by ICE or Dying in those Camps with no Real Investigations or Consequences for whose Executing and Murdering them, when no real Charges were ever Filed.  Even Heinous Crimes get Due Process and not every one of those gets the Death Penalty and instant Execution, even if they've been Found Guilty and put on Death Row.  Right now ICE seems to be Judge, Jury and Executioner even if they Kill the Wrong Person and admit it wasn't who they were even allegedly after!!!  Even if it's an American Citizen, or someone in the Country Working Legally and with no Criminal History!  

 And it's happening with more and more regularity, every Week now.  Same bullshit reasons ICE is giving for using Lethal Force.  Seems all Citizens are now apparently trying to run over ICE with their Vehicles... they're not even getting Creative with the Lies being told.  Even if it totally contradicts any Evidence that someone else Records, coz they ain't Recording a damned thing they're doing or Processing any of these Incidents like a Crime Scene or giving Access to Local D.A.'s. Offices to do Independent Investigations, they're Stonewalling them in fact and trying to restrict or even deny Access to Evidence.  Very Curious and reeks of Coverups.  So... just Asking for a Friend.  And everyone should be Asking these Questions and Demanding Answers.  

 It's all very concerning and so now I'm more glad I Sold both Properties I did Own there at various times while our Kids and Grandkids were Growing Up.  *Whew*  Too many Data Centers and potential ICE Warehouse Camps springing up in these Westside and Southside Communities... but not in Affluent predominantly White ones.  There are presently 80, Yes, you didn't read that Wrong, additional Data Center Facilities planned or under construction in the Metro Phoenix Area!!!  I'm a Stats Person so I always want Stats on this shit, the sooner it's made available, the better.    There's 150 already Operational Data Centers in Maricopa County alone!!!  Yep, you didn't read that Wrong either, in a fucking Desert!!!  Making us the largest and fastest growing in the U.S. for these damned things, which, nobody wants in their Neighborhoods, nobody.   And One Planned right outside of Luke AFB!!!   You shouldn't Live within 2 Miles of one, is now Suggested!  These are right up against Communities already Inhabited by Big Populations!

Says they're Carefully Evaluating Power Grid and Water Sustainability Goals... ummmm, shouldn't ya have done that BEFORE letting even the first fucking One be built?  Not over 150 later with 80 more already in Progress or Projected?   Meanwhile Affluent and predominantly White Neighborhoods in Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, oh, let's not even bother to go thru the List, coz actually ZERO are Built or Planned in ANY of the Region's most Affluent Residential or Commercial Areas... now ain't that Interesting and handy for them too?   So I'm putting on Blast all of the decisions of where and how many were Approved as being quite Selectively Biased and harmful to the Populations of least Influence or Affluence.  Typical.   And I'm sure Small Town America is suffering the same Fate as any Urban Area that don't have Influence or Affluence to block what they're being harmfully exposed to involuntarily.   And it's not "New"... remember Flint, Michigan's contaminated Water... and what Erin Brockovich fought against too {BTW she was on as a Guest talking about this very thing not long ago.}.

Sometimes when I'm Reading someone else's Blog Stories it stirs one of my long forgotten ones and I dust the Cobwebs off and recall it.  A Blogger Friend had Written about the 1970's Movies that have become Cult Classics, but recalling them from the Seventies, when they first came out.  One Movie I hadn't seen, but, I had Read the 1971 Book of Xaviera Hollander, better known as "The Happy Hooker".  This was long before Heidi Fleiss.  I was in High School and so of coarse, bought the Book and was fascinated by her Memoirs, a Dutch Call Girl and Madam who became quite Famous and had Celebrity Clients.   She's still Alive and is 83 now.  In the 1980's I knew a Woman from Amsterdam that had been a Call Girl and so had her Mother, she had Stories of being put in the Windows of De Wallen.  She eventually moved to America and Married an American Serviceman, which is when I met her.  She was very Open about her Past and Cultural differences of the Oldest Profession.

*******

The End... Dawn... The Bohemian

I Know I Said... But... That's Not Entirely True

 Okay, so, I know I've said I Hate all AI, but, that's not entirely True.  Becoz The Son has turned me on to AI generated Music that is very, very good, yet, the Lyrics are pure Satirical Comedy.  So you're enjoying it while laughing about it, and the hilarious fake AI Artist's Name.  I just listened to "Hershey Cocaine Watsyn", that Name alone had me laughing 'til my Sides hurt.   He's a Viral AI generated Musician Created by Writer and Producer Real Kozby and the Voice on the Songs is one that is hard for a Real Human Vocalist to compete with.   The Lyrics are gritty, unconventional and superbly Comedic!   I just listened to "I'll Slap Everybody In This MF", I Loved it!  He's got almost 15,000 Monthly Listeners and I can see why, I'd listen to, Subscribe to or Buy this Music... it sounds Great and makes me Laugh my Ass off.  The Son has this AI Artist on his Playlist and Shares any with me that have a Genre I'd like, like Soul or R&B AI Spoofs.  I know it's not Real, but, I gotta say, it's Brilliant. 

The problem is, and we both admit it freely, it all sounds way better than any Real Artists we'd bother listening to now.  The Son said he's finding he's listening less to his favorite Bands and more to his AI Playlist now.  I can plainly see why, it's better and absolutely Superb Vocals, Cleverer Lyrics, fantastic Instrumentals, and you don't take it as Seriously when the Lyrics are intentionally Satirical, yet, you can RELATE to what they're saying anyway.   The fake Artist and Song I referred to in that 1st Paragraph was about being Fed Up with Work and Life in general... who hasn't related to that sometimes in Real Life?  And another Artist I thought was Real and was AI generated that was great was Michael Bennett, supposedly on American's Got Talent, but didn't exist at all, so, you can't find that Music.  I honestly thought he was a Real Contestant!  *LOL, but enjoyed watching the Faked Soulful Country Gospel Videos all the same and I don't even Like Country Music!*

    I'm not kidding... and so the tip of that Iceberg makes you contemplate what you're not seeing below the Water's Surface in what AI is gonna do to various Industries and the livelihoods of Real People who simply can't compete and could be replaced as Society embraces and turns to it more?   Scary Stuff, but the Genie is out of the Bottle now, can't be stuffed back in.   And, I do feel vulnerable already when I am hard pressed to notice the "Tells" of when something is AI Generated and not Real, it's not that easy sometimes.  The Faked Singer Bennett, for example, my Clues took a few Songs in to notice the subtle glitches in AI, he had a Tear that didn't move on his Face and run down like one would.  He Nose changed slightly from Video to Video, and his Lips sometimes looked like he was Lip Syncing which they wouldn't have done on AGT's Contest.  Also, it seemed Audience and Judge Footage began to look tampered with and re-used too, if you watched a few different Videos.  That's when my Scam Alert went off, but, I had initially been Fooled.

I'm Dialed In right now to a Cable Series on NetFlix called WAYWARD.  It has a Non-Binary Actor in it, Mae Martin, that while watching, since I didn't know who they were, I thought, I don't know if that's actually a Male and not a Female who has Transitioned, or even if this Character is supposed to be Male or Female... or Both?   I say this respectfully since that's the Term that The Young Prince uses for Identity since Trans is a broader Umbrella that my Grandson doesn't feel is as accurate.  I get confused and now he no longer expects me to remember or use the right Pronouns.  It used to bother him that I didn't and then we just had a Heart to Heart about it and to me he'll always be my GrandSON, but I am fully aware, and always have been, that since the Age of Two there was Female Identifying Factors going on and people always mistook him for a Girl... then mistook him for a Woman... and no matter how he's Presenting, whether as Male or Female, folks aren't sure what he is for Real.  He's never been offended to be called a She or a He and figures he's Both Man and Woman.

In my Dad's Indigenous Culture that has always been known and a Non-Issue with most Tribal Culture, that people exist in many Forms as the Creator has endowed them into Being.  They don't Question the Creator's Wisdom in what has been Created, be it any Sentient Being, and why Animals are as Revered and Respected as a Human would be... and all of the Living Things like Plants, Trees, even the Earth itself.  Anyway, I have always felt that to my Core and so The Young Prince knows I've always been 100% Accepting of how he was Created by the Creator and I don't Question it nor form Judgment in Arrogance to Question what God brought into Being and how.  In fact, when I was Younger I often connected more with how Boys and Young Men were than how any Females were, it was hard for me to even understand and confusing by how most other Females were.  I gravitated to Male Dominated Fields of Work back when few Women were in those Roles/Careers and competed quite well against any Male counterparts, despite the Misogyny and Sexual Discrimination in the Patriarchy.

I remember my Dad encouraging me, when School Guidance and Career Counselors tried to sway me and say that what I wanted to become was not Gender Appropriate, and discourage pursuit of it.  Dad said that among Non-Indians that might be considered appropriate Advice, but for me it wasn't the Right Advice.  So, to pursue what I felt in Purpose to do and was in line with my Destiny to Be.  Just then do it better than any Man, Hold my Own Ground, show no Fear, but don't expect Respect, since it may never be given, make sure they Fear you instead.   And to ensure rising in Position and in Corporate America, that was his Sage Advice to me and more valuable to my Success.   So, I did.  And things went very well for me in my Corporate Lives, both of them.  My Personal Life could be a Hot Mess tho', since I wasn't very Traditional or a Conformist to Gender Roles.  Which can make a Relationship or a Marriage to a Man quite challenging.  *Winks*  The Man jokes that I have a Bigger Pair than most Guys he ever had to Square Off with.  And so he rarely Squares Off with me.  *Bwahahahaha*

He knows how I Fight when provoked into any Confrontation I can't avoid.  I use my Dad's Analogy of how to Fight most effectively too.  Nobody ever challenged my Dad even tho' he was Calm, Stoic, Cool and Collected, never Raised his Voice or Reacted to someone else's Anger or when they were being Confrontational with him.  I recall asking him why he never ever seemed to get into a Fight, but that People still Feared him, what was that 'Secret'?  His answer stuck with me for the rest of my Life.  He said Fight like the Apache... you'd Fight an Apache all day long and never See one.  Oh, it's highly fucking effective and why even the U.S. Government couldn't defeat a small Band of them, when they decided on their own Terms to Fight no more, is only why or when it Ended.   And if you decide you wanna Fight me all day long or go to War with me, I'll make sure you never See me coming and it will be relentless Unseen Battle I'll be Waging against you all day long too.  You have to assess, are you really up to that?   Coz I guarantee I'll Outlast you. 

But, I digress, I just have had Active Waging Battles with the whole Medical Fiasco for The Man.  So I got Primed for Battle and went on the Offensive immediately.   Got it sorted out in our Favor, only took about One Hour of me going totally on the Warpath with Doctor Offices at both VA and Civilian Sectors that are Treating him, and with the VA Pharmacy.  Now all is Right with the World and shit got straightened out real damn quick.  Coz his Life depended on it being done Right, not Half Assed, not with them disagreeing and changing things foolishly and without communicating to each other about the changes.  I don't think anyone really wanted me taking it to the next level, but I was willing to go there if they wanted to Square Off about any of it.  Protecting who and what is mine is as serious as a Heart Attack.  So don't pose any Threat to my Loved Ones or anything I Care Deeply about, or it will be ON and will only End when I decide to Fight no more.  And I can
Go Long, probably longer than they wanna go, that's for damned sure.

The Son and The Man were like, Whoa, oh Fuck, No they didn't... now they have Set Mom Off, Dad!   Lighting the Fuse to a Stick of Dynamite that you're still Foolishly holding and realize is now stuck to your Hand too, so, how do they {his Medical Team and Providers} now diffuse this Situation they got themselves into before it Blows Up and causes a shit ton of collateral damage?!   Coz I'll go Down with the Ship, I don't give a Fuck, but are the Adversary now willing to Die on that Hill too that I'm Defending to the Death?  That's the lingering Question?  Usually not.  It's not a Hill they want or are willing to Die on.   And so The Man and The Son got Quiet and just had to stand back, stand by, and Watch as I did what I do when you've Lit me and I'm totally Going Off. 

 So, now The Man has every Med he should have had in the first fucking place so that he won't have another damned Heart Attack due to Negligence, Miscommunication, or Ignorance about what will keep him Vertical the longest and safest.  *Eye Roll*  If a Mistake has been made, just Own It, then fucking Fix It, and we can Make Peace and keep it Moving in a more Positive Direction.  I am a Fixer of Problems... so just don't Be a fucking Problem.  Okay, Venting over, I've Calmed Down now.  *Winks*  I was HOT for a Minute tho', it really Frosts me.  Anyway, in Real Time it's a Thursday so I had my Event to go to and it was really good and I visited with Friends.  I bought a Vintage Mannequin Hand from my Friends Geisel and Roman.  And I got a Cigarette Tin for The Son that has a Back Story to it.

Okay, Years ago when he was still with the Ex-DIL, who was originally from Cambodia, they were trying for a Baby.  It didn't happen and so as a Gallow's Humor Gag Gift I got him a Cigarette Case that said "Condoms" on it and had a bunch of Adorable little Asian Babies on the Graphics on it.  He and Solina thought it was hilarious and he Loved that Cigarette Case coz everyone who saw it thought it was so Clever.  Well, he lost it, must have set it down somewhere and we never could find another one, not even Online.  Fast Forward to Today and I'm at the Event and guess what they had... that Identical Cigarette Case, only the 2nd time I've ever seen one!!!  So I bought it and thought I'd Surprise him with it, my Friends at the Event were Laughing about it and the Story.

Well, I call him on my way Home and said, you'll never Guess what I found for you, you're not gonna Believe it!   And he says, without missing a beat, "That Cigarette Case with the Asian Babies that says CONDOMS!?!"   OMG, I swear we're all freakin' Psychic in this Family, it was YEARS ago he lost that Case and we've never talked of it, but he said he was recently THINKING about said Case, now that he rolls his own Cigarettes, and regrets he lost it and could never find another one just like it, coz he misses having it!   I told him he must have Called that into Being and for me to Find it then by the Laws Of Attraction?!  I fully Believe in that you know.  So, anyway he was totally Jazzed to get it again and promised he won't lose it this time.  My Friend Geisel took a Pix of me holding it and my Mannequin Hand at the Event and said she'll Share it with me on FB.   I'll Share it here when she sends it to me.

I did do some Pathological Picture Taking while there for Blog Fodder and to Promote the Show.  And I had Breakfast at "Joe's Diner" and then some Indian Fry Bread from the "Indian Fry Bread House", after the Event.   Then Princess T bought me an "In-N-Out" Burger for Dinner after I picked her up from Work.  The Son is now doing the Yardwork for me and cutting all the Grass and trimming all the Bushes.  The last few Storms we've had were so fierce they broke a lot of Arms off my Peruvian Cactus which is in a huge Ceramic Pot on the Front Porch and really messed up the shape of the Lantana Bush.  It also blew Pine Needles from our Pines all over the Yard.  We had Three of those really Bad Haboob Dust Storms in a row so he waited until they weren't forecasting any more before he put in all the Work to do the Acreage.  He's upset with his Sister right now for not being here for the Family to be a Present Help now she's back with Mando.  It is what it is.

The Young Prince seems back with Allen and she's back with Mando, whaddya gonna do, they're all Grown and have to make such choices for themselves on who to be with in a Relationship.  Both Relationships were fraught with DV, so it does concern me, since both The Young Prince and his Mom are vulnerable Adults with Schizophrenia, so any volatile Relationships they're in can Trigger a real Situation to transpire.  They could be the Victim or the Aggressor, depending on how it goes and which way it goes... so Allen and Mando need to really be Careful and not underestimate how foolish it could be should either of them come unglued Mentally if they feel Paranoid, coz they are both Paranoid Schizophrenics and agitating them by being confrontational or a bully towards them is extremely unwise.  They both tend to be docile and won't start something, until they're NOT and flip the fuck out, and finish something initiated by some Fool, and with a Flourish.

Allen is much bigger and stronger than The Young Prince, and has had Special Forces Military Training, but a couple times he has fucked up and become threatening and then The Young Prince has sent Allen to the ER and totally handed him his Ass.   The Daughter is Small, but, she's scrappy and strong, so she can and has taken down any Grown Man when she goes Mental too.   When she only weighed 93 lbs. she could move a Refrigerator full, all by herself, to clean behind one.  It's not PC but The Son often says that his Sister has that 'Retard Strength' and when she's Mad or gone Postal, it is a Superhuman kind of Strength she has, to be sure.   I only get that Strong when I'm in a Rage or in a Crisis Mode.  Once, when our Kiddos were Small, our Neighbor Marie fell off some Wooden Steps and was hanging by One Foot.  I saw it happen, in front of her 3 Kids and our 2 Kids, they were Screaming for Help.  {Below is the only Pix I have of my Friend Marie.}

Marie was about a Quarter of an Inch from her Head hitting the Ground and she was Morbidly Obese... think the size of the Actress in that Movie with Johnny Depp and Leonardo DeCaprio "What's Eating Gilbert Grape", where the Mother in that Movie weighed probably close to or over 350 lbs., and Marie was as Big as that!  She was a Dear Friend of mine and I just knew it was a Life or Death Situation with no Time to wait for the 911 Emergency Crews to Rescue her in Time.  So I ran over there, all 125 Lbs. of me at the time, which was the heaviest I'd ever been at that point in time unless I was Preggy, even then, my Top Weight was 128 when I delivered The Son, who Weighed 10.5 lbs. at Birth!  {See Below}  And Marie said she was thinking, WTF is Dawn gonna be able to do?!  *LOL*  I was Slender my whole Life, even during Pregnancies, and didn't get overweight until a Hysterectomy after Age 50.  So, Marie's relying upon her Tiny Sprite of a Neighbor to Save her, coz I was the only Adult around, I worked Nights at the time, and our Husbands were at Work, and she's thinking, I'm gonna Die in front of all these Kids!

 So, I picked Marie up and held her there for damned near 10 Minutes until Emergency Services arrived and could extract her Foot out of the Broken Wooden Step she'd fallen thru! It was like one of those Videos you see of a Mother picking a Car up off of her Kid I guess, when ya just gotta do it and not think about how Impossible it is.  *LOL*  It took Four Corn Fed Buff Stud Muffin Young Firemen to Lift her like I'd been Lifting her all by myself when they finally arrived!!!  And get her onto a Stretcher, and they struggled to do it!  So, they couldn't Believe I'd held her up for so long and had such adrenalin she didn't feel all that Heavy to me as I recall!   Below is me the Year that happened and the Size I was at the time, I wore a Size Petite Small and the Ages the Kiddos were, Age 3 & 7, Marie's Kids were Age 2, 5 & 7 as well.

I don't know how long I could have held her but I would have, for however long it took.  She wasn't Dying on my Watch and in front of all our Children and the gaggle of other Kiddos in the Neighborhood who ran up to see all of this, coz Word spread fast!  The next day I did feel sore, but the Emergency Crew checked me out at the Scene coz they felt sure I should have hurt something.  *LOL*  I didn't, I was just Fine.  And that became Legendary in the Neighborhood as a Story nobody forgot, coz several other Children {all now Grown Adults}, remember when I Saved Marie's Life in front of them and held her up when she Weighed far more than Three Times my Weight.  And how many Adult Beefcake Young Male Firemen it then took to lift her and they struggled, I didn't struggle, it was Weird but she actually felt Light.   So I think Adrenalin coursing thru your Muscles can do Miraculous things and folks like us who are Mentally Ill do tend to be much Stronger than we Look.  *Winks and Laughs* 

  And, Avondale PD who responded that infamous time I went Mentally Off Rails and had to go to Psyche Lockdown Involuntarily, said it took Seven of them, all Young Males, to restrain me and take me down!  I don't remember, but they sure did and all Seven came to check on me when I got out, Bless them.  All Nice Young Men and very Fit, along with a Female Officer who had trouble Believing the Story, and tell me how many it had taken of them to take me down, and I was Old even back then and a Gramma.  *LOL*  I guess she was expecting me to look Bigger and be Younger?  *Bwahahahaha*  She was like, YOU Fought Off these Seven Guys?   Yep, Guess I must have and did, coz they're saying so, I don't recall, coz, I wasn't Mentally Tracking Right that Day and had no more Fucks to give.  But I'm doing and Feeling Better now.  *Bwahahahaha and Winks*

So, anyway, back to the Here And Now... my "Me Day" went very well and I stayed Downtown longer than usual coz I also hit a couple of the GOODWILL Stores coz they've put out their Halloween Merch and I just LOVE that time of Year when they prematurely do that.  They really do have the best Halloween selection of even the Big Box Retail Stores.  They get a lot of New Old Stock Donated to them by a lot of the Big Box Retail Stores of previous Year Lines.   And a lot of the Big Box Stores have a New Line every Year and so you wouldn't be able to find any of the Old Lines of never previously Purchased items that remained Unsold.  So, I've already done a fair amount of Halloween Retail Therapy coz its mostly also Priced so low they make you Buy it.  *Smiles*  New Old Stock of Faux Pumpkins of a good Quality Line for $1.49 each, come on, some of mine I've had for Decades now have seen better days and needed replacing. 

   I even got a Ceramic large Pumpkin with Lid {See Above}, for Halloween Candies, that they only had Priced at $3.49 and it looks Real and is the Size of a Real Medium Sized Pumpkin or a Cookie Jar!   Below is a Martha Stewart Living Autumn Halloween Wreath from a New Old Stock previous Line she had.  They were super expensive Retail, around $70+ as I recall, I got it for under $5.   You can see it still had the Original Tag on it.   And you can see how large it is since the Mannequin Display Form Torso I hung it on for Scale is Lifesize.  At the GOODWILL none of their Seasonal items qualifies for any of their Discounts, but, they do have decent prices on most of it.   And every July they roll out their Halloween and I get a jump on Buying new to me Decor for my Favorite Holiday while the pickins are good and most folks aren't in the Mood yet to Seasonal Shop.  *Winks*  You can never roll out Holiday Merch, especially Halloween, too early for Yours Truly.  I put it up Early at Home and keep it up Late.  *Smiles*  Some of it I've not put away from last Year.  *Ha ha ha*

And in The RV Garage Mahal I have some Seasonal Collections up Year Round now so that I can enjoy them Displayed all of the time in a Space that isn't being Lived In.  So, I can indulge all my Fantasy Decorating in there and leave it up all the time.  That's why eventually, I desperately want it Done, so I can just then sit back and enjoy it 24-7 and 365, feeling completely Moved In.  This Property has taken ever so much longer to get Moved In and Done than any other we've ever Owned.  I attribute that to our advancing Age and also we've had so much going on that I couldn't devote myself to just Decorating or the Great Edit and Purge Project when we Downsized from the last Property we Owned, which was a ridiculous Sized Home... more than twice the Size of this Main House.   So, it was a True Downsize for us and thus, after we also then became a Three Generation Household again and everyone moved back with all their Worldly Possessions... it's a Tight Fit of Communal Living and everyone's Stuff.

  

But, at this juncture I'm just taking it One Day at a time and not Fixating on what remains Undone still.   And I Feel a lot more Relaxed with not Fixating on what still has to get Done and not getting myself upset or wound up about how long it's taking and how much is left to still do.  The Daughter did a lot for me, but she's stalled out now and Focused on many other things.  Plus, it was just too Hot to Work in there now so I wouldn't allow it until Cooler Weather comes so it's Safe to.  The Young Prince likes to be nosey and get into everything, so I told him he could, but ONLY if he Helped with some of it, so that was his Incentive.  *Winks*   Princess T lost Interest in all of it about a Year in after this Move.  I can't Blame her, we'd had to Move Three different times by then, Historic Home where she was Born, Villa McManse while she was in Grade School, and then here when she was in Jr. High School, and she was as fed up with starting over, packing, unpacking, getting Moved Out, getting Moved In, as I was.  It's just a LOT of Transition.

And it seemed just as we'd finally get a Property Done and the way we really wanted it and Loved it, is when we'd have to Move again.  Ugh.  It's a Blank Canvas and exciting, but it's Expensive to move a whole Household, a lot of Work to do a Self-Move, too Expensive to do a Hired Move, and getting Settled in takes Years... more Years with each subsequent Move actually.   When we were Active Military, both Growing Up and during our Early Years of being Married, we were Nomads and moved all the time, too often, so, we Traveled Light and I had to be a Minimalist for all of those Years.  It was just necessary when you're moving constantly, about every Year or so continuously for Years on end.  It's why a lot of Military Families who are Enlisted Rank are also financially strapped... you don't get to choose where they Station you or Deploy you and what the Cost of Living there will be.   It's why some Low Ranking Families are on Assistance Programs.

And when on unaccompanied Tours or deployed during Conflicts/Wars, where they can't bring the Family, now you're supporting Two Households, usually on the Military Income.  I was one of the few Spouses that still had my Career while The Man had his Military Career.  Most Military Spouses have to give up their Careers to be in Support of their Active Duty Spouse's Career.  So, most Military Families are on a Single Income of an Enlisted Man's Salary, tho' Officers Salaries are much more.   We weren't ever your Garden Variety Military Family, The Man and I.  I wasn't a Stay At Home Mom, coz I had a very Successful Career and made more Money than him, until AFTER he got Medically Mandatorily Retired and required my Full Time Unpaid Caregiving, only then did I give up my Career.   I juggled a couple of demanding Careers and Raising both Generations of Kiddos, plus I did Volunteer Work with Street Ministries and Food Banks, and did Consultation Work, and Sold Product at an Antique Mall... I was an Overachiever I guess you'd say.  *LOL*

Now I'm just Tired and getting too Advanced in Years and have too much on my Dance Card to keep Juggling so much.  I've had to slow down and recognize my Limitations and finite amount of Stamina and Energy left.  It's a Bitter Pill to Swallow, coz I don't Feel "Old", in my Spirit I don't even think of myself as being Geriatric, and I've been a Senior Citizen a long time now..  Yet, I know that to Society I am considered a Vulnerable Adult now due to the Years attained.   And sometimes I have to remember that The Man is 74 and I just don't think of him as being "Old" either and sometimes my expectations of him match that of what you'd more Realistically expect of a Young Man, one in Good Health, and that's not even Fair to The Man.   The Kids have to constantly remind me, Mom, Dad/Grandpa is Old.  And even more often they have to remind me that I am too.  *Bwahahahaha*

Okay, so Today at In-N-Out Burger Princess T had bought me a Hamburger and I was holding it in my Left Hand while turning to Talk to her on my Right.  I Shake a lot, I always have, I've had Neurological Issues since I was a Toddler and always Shook, it's just worse as I've gotten Older and more Noticeable.  Neurologists could never tell my Parents or Husband what it is causing it, they simply don't know.  I just do it and sometimes I don't, but when I do, it's Crazy.  Well, Princess T started Laughing during our Conversation coz she said my Left Hand began Shaking so much that my Hamburger looked like it was still Alive and the Onions and Lettuce were flying off of it!!!  *LMAOROTF*  I looked over at it, and that usually then makes the Shaking Stop sometimes, or at least slow down while I concentrate on making it Stop... which, I've Learned to do coz it Freaks People Out if I Shake too much, they think I'm having a fucking Seizure.  *LOL* 

 I think it's hilarious and The G-Kid Force have Learned to Laugh along with me.  But The Son and The Man don't think it's Funny and get so concerned and upset, it hurts their Heart they said, that I Shake so much and often don't even know I'm doing it.  If I'm getting really Emotionally Wired on the Inside, or have to intensely Focus, or get Overstimulated, is when I Shake most I guess.   Like when I'm Driving, my Hands will often Quiver on the Wheel or I'll Tap the Wheel incessantly, especially in heavy City Traffic.  I'm Fine and I still drive very defensively and safely, but the Kids said I'll tap the Wheel a lot, Twitch some, like I'm Glitching, and I think it's Stimming and why I've always felt I'm probably on the Autism Spectrum and just Undiagnosed? 

 I have quite a few Autistic tendencies actually and many Females remain Undiagnosed for a Lifetime becoz they Mask the Condition pretty effectively compared to Males who have it.   Coupled with Adult ADHD your Mind is spinning like a Top at Warp Speed all of the time and slowing Thoughts down is Hard... and being Still is even Harder.  I Shake a Lot when I'm trying to Sit for a while or be Still... it's like I can't.  Like a Wind Up Toy that can't and won't Wind Down completely. *Smiles*  It has Served me Well tho' if Channeled effectively and used as a Strength and Ability rather than a Defect or Disability.  *LOL and Winks*  I can Work Circles around folks who are Younger than my Grandkids Ages and I don't Tire out easily and have a lot of Strength for someone my Age. 

 I can still Arm Wrestle someone my Son or Grandson's Age and hold my own for a respectable amount of time before they beat me, I have Biceps that rival theirs.  And if I had to, I might still be able to knock someone out Cold like I have in the Past, coz I'm too Old to Fight long, so I'd want it over quickly and efficiently.  Plus, I can't Run away anymore, my Running Days are behind me too... so I'd have to Hold my Ground out of necessity, Old folks can't Flee a Fight on Foot too well.  *Bwahahahaha*   But the Strength is waning now and building Muscle Mass or Maintaining it is getting more challenging.  I can still lift over 100 lbs., but I know I shouldn't anymore, so that I don't Fracture Aging Bones that Hormonal Changes have made more Fragile now.  I've done that before with very heavy lifting after Age 60 and the Surgery necessary to repair that kind of damage is no Fun.

*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian