A 250th Anniversary I Can't Feel Celebratory About... But A Tribute I Can Celebrate The Life Of

 

Well, a good part about taking The Daughter to her Housekeeping Job in Chandler Tomorrow is that one of my favorite Events is this Weekend too and it's nearby, so I'll get to go while waiting on her to finish the Job.  Looked at the Sneak Peeks on the FB Page of each Event either happening now or coming up this Week.  Some didn't have much coverage, I wonder why?  Others had good coverage and I cribbed some of the Imagery and then Edited some of it to look like I wanted it to in order to Share it here.  Like the above Altered Art Top with John Lennon Graphics and some Exotic Fabrics Sleeves.    I'd like to see it on, the price is high and I don't usually wear long sleeves tho'.  And I can't find that T-Shirt's Graphics on a T-Shirt anywhere Online, so it may be Custom Printed from some Art of it I did find.

 

You might notice I'm keeping Archived Posts up longer, I used to purge them and do a dump of all but about 20 most recent ones.  But, Readership of Archived Posts is way up and so I thought, might as well leave them up 'til that drops off to where they're irrelevant to have Stored to Read.  I know sometimes I delve into Bloggers Archives if I haven't visited for a while, to catch up and find out what I've missed while I've been away.  I'm a prolific Writer, but not a prolific Reader, and my Attention Span with Adult ADHD is still Shit, Age hasn't been beneficial to expand it.  *Le Sigh and Smiles*  I do Read fast, the whole Evelyn Wood Speed Reading peeps would be Proud of me and give me a Diploma or something.  *Winks*  I just get antsy and quite restless when Reading or trying to watch TV, my Mind strays and spins too fast.

I did crawl out of my Deep Funk even tho' the Trigger that sent me Down hasn't been resolved.  Sometimes I just have to Sit with a Problem for a Minute to then be not Emotionally so Raw about it and just Deal with it appropriately and in the best Head Space that will be more productive.  Things not totally within my Control I realize will happen and you can't always predict it will, so it can blindside you even when you're otherwise having the Best Day Ever, and then Wham, something Epic and Shitty just happens.  That's Life.  Anyway, I used the last of the Insulin Needles to give The Man his Lantus Injection and went and did Environmental Cleanup this Morning at 6:30 a.m., popped into a WALGREENS close by when it opened at 7:00 a.m. and got 100 Diabetic Needles on Sale.  I know neither of the Home Deliveries from the VA or Express Scripts ever Delivers on a Sunday.  And I needed my Insulin, and was a Needle short, so might as well get 99 more.  *LOL*

I also picked up some more Roach Spray for the Outside Roach Massacre the Guys are doing for that Red Roach exterior infestation.  That Old Stump had really attracted them but there's no getting it out of the ground without great expense coz it was a 60+ Year Old Pine Tree we already paid $800 to have cut down when it got the Bark Beetle Blight that has hit Arizona.   The only reason it didn't cost more than three times as much to cut it down is the Young Hispanic Male Crew saw Princess T looking Hawt as Hell and I had her out there with me on Purpose batting her False Eyelashes and Smiling demurely at them all.  *Winks*   So, they Negotiated it WAYYYY down for me and were Showing Off for her, as Young Men are inclined to do, so had that enormous Tree, which was over 60 Feet Tall, felled in like 20 Minutes, I kid you not!!!   

It was impressive and our Neighbors were wishing they'd Hired the same Crew for their Job.  They had a Crew at the same time cutting down their much smaller Blighted Mulberry Tree within Sight of our Crew taking our Tree 3x bigger down, and it took their Crew Two Days!  Twenty Minutes after our Crew arrived and Princess T was watching them Work, our Tree was Down and the Wood piled nicely for Firewood in 20 Minutes Flat... and it cost me 1/3 of what it should have cost!  *Winks*  Of coarse, our Neighbor's Guys were some Middle Aged White Boy Crew tho'.  So I told TJ & Rob, you know better, Christ, you're Half Mexican, and we'd of let you borrow Princess T to flirt with a Younger Hispanic Crew of Guys to do the Job right and not Milk it and pretend it takes Two fucking Days to justify what Premium Price they charged you!  *LMAOROTF*  Rob Laughed and said, well, I should have had me my OG Gypsy Neighbor Woman doing my Negotiating too!  *Bwahahahaha*

While I was doing Environmental Cleanup the Park had some of those Wild Lovebirds, there is a healthy flock of them in our area and they often come into the Mini Farms Community too.  Anywhere that has Mature Trees, abundant Food and Nesting sites.  It's always a Joy to see them even tho' they're not a Native Species, they've done no harm to Native Species and are thriving in the Desert.   I've included some of the Cribbed Imagery of the Event that I may be able to Attend Today if The Daughter shows up in time to do her Job in Chandler.  She was doing some Work at Jason's and he's had troubles with his Truck, so I don't know if she got a Ride Home or not last Night?  I haven't seen her this Morning and her Phone isn't Working, I dunno why, it's another New one the State Provides the Indigent, but those break down easily coz they're Free Phones and limited Service.  Where Jason lives you can't always get a Signal out with a good Provider, let alone with a Free Service Phone.

I was kinda now looking forward to taking her so I could stop by "Highland Yard Vintage" and "Merchant Square Antique Mall" while she was Working.  It's only Blocks away from where she's Working and it's a nice way to bide my time while she's doing her Work way over there.  With Gas Prices I wanna make the Trip across the whole Valley well worth it to both of us.  *Smiles*  I had 30 Cents a Gallon Credit at the Gas Station owned by "Fry's Food Stores", you build Credit off your Gas when you Buy your Groceries and have a certain period of Time to use it.  "Safeway Food Stores" do the same, so I alternate building Gas Credits between the Two since I Shop at them all the time anyway for most of our Groceries.   It still cost me over $70 to fill up since even with the Credit it was $4.49 a Gallon... $4.79 a Gallon without the Discount Credit I'd built up.  You can get up to $200 worth at a time Discounted with the built up Credit, before it Expires if unused.   I use ever bit of ours.

 

Arizona Gas is way higher than most States that are bitching about their much lower than ours prices.  And my Brother said in L.A. it's up past NINE DOLLARS a Gallon now!  So, I'm not complaining so much about being slightly under Five, it clearly could be worse coz we use Cali Refineries for Arizona Gas.  Of coarse Cali's Cost of Living is ridiculous and Why they have almost 200,000 Homeless in their State.  The Rich and Elite of Cali are doing very well, everyone else is paying more than they can afford for everything.  When my Brother and his Lady both worked in Hollywood they made Bank and had Celebrity and other Famous and Wealthy Clients.  But, he got Terminally Ill and she eventually had to Retire, so, now they struggle too.

  

I remember Silly Putty and so this Nostalgic Meme that showed up brought back fond Memories of my Brother and I doing this with our Silly Putty with the Sunday Comics and we thought it was Da Bomb and Magical too!  *LOL*  I still have my Mattel Thingmaker and Molds of various kinds from the early 1960's, it still Works.  When I think about it, quite a dangerous Toy, yet, we never got hurt with our Dangerous Toys, coz Kids of our Era weren't so Stupid about handling Dangerous shit I guess, or, just Lucky... I dunno?  I threw Lawn Darts at my Brother, who stood far away and let me see how close I could get to him... so, I take that back, we were sometimes risk taking Stupid and just Lucky.  He knew how Crazy I was and yet he still had that much Trust in me not to WANT to Dart him!!!  And to Trust my Skill and Aim William Tell Style like we were some Circus Knife Throwing Act!!!  *Bwahahahaha*

Okay, so, True Story, my Brother and I have been Close our whole Lives and Best of Friends.  But, me being the Oldest, I was always put In Charge when ever our Parents weren't Home, and I was Bossy, always... my Nickname was Bossy Boots, after a British Cartoon Character.  *Winks*  He and his Friends always Feared me tho', coz I could go Mental on the Turn of a Dime and be like Handling Dynamite, even tho' I'm Small, 5'2" and probably then weighed about 92 Lbs. soaking wet.  *Winks*  So, anyway, by the time my Brother hit his Teen Years, he was 6'4", powerfully big built like all the Men in my Mom's side of the Family, and Towered over me, yet he's a docile Soul to his Core.  But, one day I was left In Charge, and he had a bunch of his Teen Guy Friends over and they were all acting the Fool and messing up the House doing stupid shit Teen Boys are inclined to do that would have my Mom go Mental when she got Home and everyone knew how Crazy Mom could get!!!  *Winks*

 

So, I started Lording it over all these Teen Guys and his Friends are egging my Brother on to not let ME kick them all out or take no mess from me.  After all, they were many, what was little ME gonna DO to make them all leave if they didn't want to?  So, my Dear Brother, who wouldn't hurt a Fly to this Day, just wanted to push me back coz I was all up in his Face by then coz his Friends had fucking Triggered a Bipolar Episode so he misjudged The Moment... and misjudged his own Strength too.  Coz when he pushed me, I went flying, hit the Brick Wall of our House, slid down it and got Road Rash from the Bricks, which Bled! 

 He was mortified coz he hadn't meant to hurt me at all, but seeing my own Blood, I Snapped and went Mental immediately, that's when I spied and got his Baseball Bat that was leaning up against the Wall near where I'd been pushed!!!   Ruh Roh, you never saw a bunch of Big Teen Guys scatter so fucking fast in all your Life!  *Bwahahahaha*  Needless to say, I never got Challenged again, ever.  But that Bat would have been The Great Equalizer and they knew it!  *Winks*   And Teenagers are prone to thinking they're finally Bad Ass enuf to make Challenges that are unwise.  My own Kiddos tried it with me as Teens, The Son only Once, The Daughter Twice coz she's just that Mental.  *LOL*  Let us just say they remembered how Badly it went for them.  *Winks*  The G-Kid Force had heard the Legendary Stories from their Mom and Uncle before they became Teens, so never Challenged me.  *Smiles*

LATER: Back from the Event and The Daughter's Housecleaning Job.  Her Client has Chickens and always Blesses us with Fresh Brown Eggs.  I got her there on time even tho' we left late coz Jason's Truck broke down again and I had to go help his Neighbor with getting the Truck back to Jason's Mini Farm.  Which is out where we used to live in the Villa McManse in an Older Mini Farms Community out there that was probably built back in the 1960-1980's too.  There's some Mansions on the Properties out there and much more Acreage than most of us have here, some look like 3-5 Acres Lots, ours here are 1-3 Acres Lots.  The Neighbor is another Guy that The Daughter does Work for, he owns Three different Properties out there, as does Jason's extended Family.  So, between the Two Families they own Six Mini Farms in that Community of them.  Wise Investment and being near Family.  Jason is the Nephew of our Nextdoor Neighbor Old Tom, it's his Brother's Son.

Anyway, I got loads of Pixs of the Event taken with my Old School Camera and my Cellphone Camera too.  I also took Pixs of the Big 250th Anniversary of America Sale at the Antique Mall.  Both the Mall and the Event had the 250th American Birthday Theme so everything was quite Patriotic and loads of good Quality Americana Antiques.   That Antique Mall and the Event in the Warehouse behind it which is held Monthly always has actual Antiques, Vintage Items and Quality Collectibles.  Mingled with newer Merch too of coarse, but always Styled and Showcased well.  I ended up with Three items from the Event.  A 1950's Early Mannequin that they Sold with a Patriotic Hoodie for only $65 coz she's seen better days and is pretty Busted looking.  I don't mind that tho' and she's almost full sized, Head to about Thighs, no Arms, typical early 1950's Bob Molded Hairstyle tho', she's a Blonde.  I can do some minor repairs on her, that was a Killer Price/Bargain for her.  The Daughter wants the Hoodie, which is a nice one.  *LOL*

They also had some 1952 Canvas Local Bank Bags and 1952 Cashier's Checks with each Bag from the Bank I was a Corporate Executive of in the 1970's thru 1980's!!!   I didn't Photograph the one I got, it had a better Patina on the Canvas Bag than the one I Photographed with my Phone {Below}, but it did have the better Cashier's Check than mine, but I opted for the Bag with a better Sepia Tea Stained Patina on the Canvas.  Coz I intend to make a Tote Bag out of mine and use an Old Cowboy Leather Belt for the Strap Handle.   Being an AVP I used to Sign many a Cashier's Check for that Bank, and the Savings and Loans that I also Worked for in my 1st Corporate Life.   Back in the 1970's I was responsible for about a 14 Million Dollar Plus Portfolio of Loans at any given time, of Real Property, mostly Residential, which, back then was a lot of Money to protect the Bank's Interest of... on defaulted Loans.  

This is the One I got...

In the 1970's the average Cost of a Home in Metro Phoenix was around $23,000 or less.  We did have Loans in 11 other States I was responsible for tho' too, including California, Nevada, Colorado, Wyoming, Oregon, Washington State, Utah, New Mexico... I can't recall all the States now.  But every State's Laws are completely different, so it was a lot to have to know when you were handling Collections, Foreclosures, handling the Bankruptcies, or Evictions.  Some States still had the Old Mortgage Notes which took Forever to finalize a Foreclosure of, others had the Trust Deeds which could be Foreclosed in about 91 Days on average unless I worked some Forbearance out with the Borrowers.  I have lotsa Memories of both Corporate Lives so something like this is Nostalgic for me and part of my Career History that fed and Supported my Family.

Of coarse my initial Purchase and Fav Score was that Top I had seen in the Sneak Peek.  Turns out it was made by a Designer Friend of mine there and she gave me a Deep Discount on it so it was affordable!  Yay, Color me Happy!!!   And it also wasn't Long Sleeve and looked much better in Person than it even does in Photos and is actually Sleeveless like a long loose fitting Vest!  I just Adore it.  She'd also asked my Opinion on some New Styles she had come up with that are similar to a Favorite Designer we both Adore and gave her some Inspiration of, with her own Artistic/Designer Twist on it of coarse.  She Loved the Top I was wearing and Photographed it for more Inspiration, she would have liked to have Bought it off me if it had been For Sale.   *Ha ha ha* 

  She's always trying to Buy the Clothes off my Back and my Bags I bring with me, it's now a running Joke, tho' she is Serious about it.  *LOL*  She asks my Opinion about Designs she's considering and we brainstorm how to make them better.  She's so Talented she really doesn't Need my Help IMO, but she Values my Opinion and Advice.  And I've bought quite a lot of her Statement Pieces and always get compliments when wearing it.  I plan to wear that John Lennon Top to "Sweet Salvage's" Event later this Week to the Grand Opening of this Month's Themed Show.  I keep forgetting to get her Business Card so I can Link up with any Online site she might have, gotta remember to do that next time I see her.

 I only got 3 items at the Antique Mall too... Two Old Canning Jars with Zinc/Milk Glass Lids filled with Antique Marbles... and a 1950's Seafood Restaurant Graphics Tablecloth, the Graphics of which are terrific... which I Scored so Cheap my Heart was skipping a Beat, only Six Bucks!!!  My Canning Jars are laying on it so you can't really see the Graphics, only one of the Claws of a Crab and the Woodgrain Graphics in the Middle, the whole Border Graphics are Seafood and various Foods, mostly Veggies.  *Smiles*  It's a really large one and I haven't even opened it out fully yet to see all the Graphics, for that low Price I didn't even Need to or Care.  It's getting so hard to ever Score Vintage Tablecloths at all anymore, so I was lamenting that recently and The Laws of Attraction then Activated and I've Scored Two in One Week now!!!  Booyah!!!   The other one I got at SAVERS that the Grandchild Works at for only $4 and was 1960's Retro Hippie Mod Flowers Graphics in Bold Bright Colors like Yellow, Orange, Green.

Anyway, I shall Save a lot of the numerous Images taken for other Posts, giving me loads of Fresh Blog Fodder Imagery at this Event.  It was a really good one, better than expected and lots of New Designers and Vendors at it.  A lot of the Old Vendors and Designers from there both at the Event and the Antique Mall know me and have for Years.  But, it's nice to be introduced to the Newbies and get to know them too.  They do an exceptional Job and it just seems to keep getting better lately, which is a Relief, coz a couple of Shows it was slipping and I was concerned.  I didn't eat there this day at "The American Way Smokehouse Restaurant", but, I did get a couple of their Peach and Mixed Berry Scones.  I ate instead at "The Tipsy Egg" a Fav Brunch/Breakfast spot in Old Historic Chandler.  It's in a Historic Building that used to be an Old Levi Strauss Supplier and you can still see that faded Signage Painted on the Side of the Historic Brick Building.

The Brunch I had was excellent but I had to send the Caramel Iced Coffee back, it was watery, lukewarm and not at all tasty, coz it was so diluted it was like Coffee flavored Water, yuk!  She swapped it out at my request for a Diet Soda instead.  The Bennie Meal I had is exceptional tho', it's a Jalapeno Cornbread with Pork Chorizo, Hollandaise Sauce, Smashed Avocado, Paprika and Fresh Chives.   I chose a side of Fruit with it and then got an extra $4 Side of their Breakfast Potatoes, which are really good too.   I could only eat the One Bennie and Saved the other one and 2/3 of the Potatoes for later, as a late Lunch.  It was a lot of Food for me.  I ate it on their Outside Patio Alfresco coz it was such a balmy Nice Cooler Day with quite a lovely Breeze, got real Windy later on tho'.   The Daughter ended up eating my Leftovers, so... forget about having it for a Late Lunch, she was Hungry when she got off Working and scarfed it all down on the Drive Home.  *LOL*

We didn't end up stopping by Gypsy James' in South Phoenix to get the Bunny, coz he wasn't answering his Phone all day so we weren't sure he hadn't forgotten.  The Son just then Texted him that I'd pick it up another time when we'd be sure he'd be Home... not going out of my way to drive there and he's not even there.  I hadn't told The Young Prince his Bunny was coming, Thankfully, so, his Hopes won't be dashed.  I know how James is so I'll wait 'til I for sure have a Bunny in my possession.  *Winks*   Gypsy James is like another Son to me but he can be flaky about keeping his Word or Appointments he sets up to meet for stuff, he's always been like that tho'.    He always has the Best of Intentions and will Help anyone out... but he's one to Overpromise and Under-Deliver, never Learning it's better to Under-Promise and Over-Deliver instead.

I had never seen such a fine Collection of Vintage American Flags of all kinds than I did at the Event, very Tempting to Buy one, but had no place to Display it.  I don't decorate for the 4th of July much anymore, obvious reasons.  We used to, when we lived in the Historic Home.  The Man always flew an American Flag and his USMC Flag.  He's no longer Feeling the least bit Patriotic anymore given the current condition of our Nation, whose Leading it, what they're doing that is so Unpatriotic, and how they are Treating the American People and Dishonoring our Veterans and First Responders.  Being called a Sucker and a Loser when you have been a True Patriot and highly Decorated War Hero is a level of Disrespect no American President has ever displayed before.  

But, this Draft Dodging Career Criminal, well, is it Surprising how he views REAL Patriotic Americans?  And rewards only other Criminals, protects other Pedophiles, and Pardons Insurrectionists who'd destroy our Democracy and what Generations have valiantly and Sacrificially Fought and Died for?  It's a National Disgrace and he's disgracing America before the entire World.  He's an abomination and those who still Support him are complicit in everything failing now due to who they installed.   Who is internally looting, destroying the Moral fabric of, and bringing down a Nation.  One that 250 Years of National Pride and a Vision to make us the Greatest Nation on Earth in the Eyes of the whole World, is ending IMO.  Our Allies can't Trust us and he's Selling us Out to our Enemies for his own Gain.  And the day he gets what's coming to him, I Hope is soon.  Coz it can't come soon enuf IMO!!!

 

But, enuf of my Wrath about what's being done to my Beloved Nation, I could Rant way more than I have been about it.  But I'd be Singing to the Choir coz I'm fairly certain my Tribe of Readership isn't MAGA leaning and despises it all as much as I do.   I have no delusions about changing the Hearts or Minds of those like him becoz they are no better than him.  And so long as they are part of the Problem they will never be part of the Solution.  And it's a damned shame that the important Milestone of the 250th Anniversary of America is being ushered in with this vile Administration at the Helm of it.  So it will sadly be a 250th Anniversary I can't Feel Celebratory about.  And worse, neither can my Beloved who is an American Hero and has been a staunch Patriot his entire Life!  He doesn't Feel Respected by our Leadership now, he Feels THEY are now the Enemy and they've infiltrated to the very Top and aren't being Fought hard enough.  I would have to Agree.

 

Okay, but tho' I was quite Tempted to End this Post on that Sour and Bitter Note, I won't.  *Whew*  I do have some Good News.  That which had Tanked me Emotionally, did get Resolved Satisfactorily, and that's all I will say about that.  It had an Outcome I was able to accept and that was really important in that instance.  It's not something I will Blog about tho' and that's Okay.  Everyone who Needed to Know, Knew.  And often with some Issues of Life, you Need to Keep folks on a Need To Know Basis, and those that Don't Need To Know, will not Know.  I was Emotional again in an unexpected way that was one of those things that makes you have quite a Range of Emotion tho'.  Yesterday The Niece sent me Imagery of her Mom's Memorial Service, laying in Rest.  It was Beautiful, she looked Beautiful, and it will be the last time we all see her, so, it was bittersweet.  Her Youngest Daughter made it happen and was the only immediate Family I saw in attendance.  I felt some kind of way about that.

I Love all her Kiddos since I've known them practically all of their lives and am Close to some of them, less close to others who've chosen a Path in Adulthood that makes Relationship sustained an impossibility.   I'd Hoped they could all attend and don't know why all but the Youngest were conspicuous by their very absence?  I couldn't make it to my own Mom's Funeral Service, since The Man wasn't Well enuf to Travel and I couldn't leave him Home Alone or find Coverage for Younger Special Needs G-Kid Force either, at the time.   So, I won't Judge either.  There may have been legit reasons why The Youngest Son and The Middle Daughter I thought could be and should be there, and the Grandson she Raised for Eight Years. wasn't there, who is my Godson, I just don't know Why the Three of them weren't? I didn't expect her Oldest Daughter or Oldest Son to be there at all tho'.  I do know that the Middle Daughter has come to Arizona for several Friend's Funerals, and to visit us several times, so missing her own Mom's in another State was Odd, to say the least.  Most Employers will give Bereavement Leave for the Death of a Parent.

Perhaps the Youngest Daughter didn't take Photos of everyone there, but I doubt it.  And I do know she'd told me she was paying for it all too, which I didn't doubt that and Friends who could contribute did.  I'm Proud of her, I know she Honored her Mom in the best way possible with the Choices made for the Funeral.  It is absolutely Stunning, my Friend looked Beautiful and my Friend deserved that Sending Off in such Style and with such Sacrificial Unconditional Love.  She was one who Loved Sacrificially all the Years I knew her and Gave of herself without thought about herself.  She wasn't Perfect or Flawless, none of us are, but her Heart was always in the Right Place and she was a Fierce Advocate for the Underdogs of Society and Loved her Family.  We did Ministry Work together for Decades in some of the roughest parts of the City where Angels might Fear to Tread.  And the Devil's Work was everywhere around ya in plain sight.  As Crazy as she was, and she WAS Cray-Cray, if there was some place she felt she HAD to be and Felt it too Dangerous to try to be The Lone Ranger, I was her Tonto.   So, we got some Stories my Friends!!!  *Winks and Laughs* 

My Dearest Friend, my Wild Sister in Crime, I will Miss you so much, I Miss you already.  I Wish I could have been there in Texas to offer some measure of Comfort to you and your Family during your Year Long Battle fought.  I'm glad we had the Phone and Social Media to keep in Touch when you had to move away and were too Unwell to Travel too later on.  You understood our Situation coz you Helped me with it for Years when you did live in Arizona.  You were there during my Mom and my Dad's Battles, treating them like your own Mom and Dad.  We've been thru it all with our Kiddos and our Grandkiddos, you are an exemplary Gramma and The G-Kid Force Loved you like another Grandma, their Beloved Aunt Kathie. 

 It was very hard to see you this way, but I'm Thankful your Dear Daughter, our Little Alex, our "Turtle", covered it thru the Eye of the Lens to Share with those of us who couldn't be there.  And made it Feel like we were there... in Spirit and Love at least.  I can give you a Tribute of Celebration of Life coz you richly Deserve it.  And so I'll end this Post on that Note instead... and you made me Cry Dammit... and you know I never Cry and usually stay Stoic, you always busted my Chops about being a Cyborg like that... Damn Girlfriend, you Broke the Cyborg Today!  And I Imagine you Laughing your Ass off about that, as I got Tears streaming down my Face, but can't utter a fucking Sound, like a 'Normal' Person does when they Cry!!!!!!!!!!!!   I know, you'd say I just Need to Practice more Being, or at least Appearing, more 'Normal', and not such an Uncivilized 'Savage'.  You were never PC and I Loved that about ya, Girl!  *Smiles*   I HATE Crying and how it makes me Feel... but you are Deserving of a River of them to be shed my Friend... R.I.P.

And Alex, you forgot your fucking Bag before you took this Pix, Child... and that made me Smile too... and we know Why!!!  *LOL*

******

A Range of Emotions is something that's hard for Yours Truly to actually "Feel"... Especially with Tears and Outward Expression of vulnerability... Dawn... The Bohemian

An Epic Shitstorm Of Shit

 I Bottomed Out Today for reasons I won't get into or Blog about.  The Issues of Life sometimes just pile up like that and not all of it can be talked about or you even want to or should.  Life sure can be a struggle and turn on Dimes from day to day tho', let me just say.  So, I'm trying to climb out of that Funk, it's 3:00 in the Afternoon and it's been a real struggle and uphill battle to tho'.  I did do some Environmental Cleanup for a few Hours just to be out in Nature, which is always restorative to me, and it does help to put things in perspective.  It's not all good, but it's not all bad either... just some of each.  The Man's condition is so volatile and fragile that it just has me on heightened alert for him staying Stable Medically.

The weightier Issues of Life are so heavy sometimes.  And right now my House is messy too and I'm the Offender.  I've been distracted with Caregiving and Medical Issues.  And on the Phone to Insurances too, that's still messy as well.   First, HUMANA, our Medicare Advantage Plan, decided, once again, to initially say they Deny the Hospitalization coverage for the last Hospitalization that The Man had!!!  When he was Internally Bleeding and the VA transferred him to a Civilian Hospital while giving him a Transfusion.  Preparing him for that Internal Procedure to try to locate what was hemorrhaging!  WTF, their Doc claims our Docs could have done that without Inpatient Services!!!  Really!?!  We had 4 VA Specialists and 3 Civilian Specialists say otherwise!   You're Dealing with so many different Medical Opinions it drives me Crazy sometimes and doesn't always have consistency!

I'm Appealing that ridiculous decision on Monday for them to reconsider and I'm sure his Docs will again too Fight it, if they wanna get Paid.  They got the last Denial overturned as well, I think HUMANA has some Insurance Adjuster making these ridiculous unqualified contested decisions and not any Doctor at all.  If it is a Doc they must be a Quack like JFK, Jr. is and have Far Side Opinions about Medicine in general and Specialized Medicine in particular!!!  Then, I realized we'd run out of Needles to administer our Insulin Injections for both our Lantus and Ozempic, we're both Insulin Dependent daily Diabetics so you go thru a lot of Needles.  We thought we had another full Box of 100, we didn't!  Ooops!

He called his in to the VA, where he gets his for Free, no problems there, they'll sent some right out.  I called mine in to TriCare's Express Scripts and had to School Two different Phone Reps, including a Supervisor, that No, I do NOT have a Primary Insurer Part D Coverage on Medicare that pays for my Rx, I'm not eligible since I had TriCare For Life!  One would think they'd know that and I'd already been thru this since January about my Oral Meds and my Diabetic Injectable Meds, getting that sorted out after 3 Months of Dealing with HUMANA, Medicare, TriCare, Social Security and Express Scripts!!!  You're in a Fight on all Fronts about who will pay for what anymore!!!  Now they were fussing about who should pay for my Needles!  Oy Vey, pray tell how I'm to inject my Lantus and Ozempic without fucking Needles then?!

They SEE they're covering all my Oral and Injectables, but for some reason it still eluded them that they should re-activate my Rx for Needles as well, since, they suspended it in January and now I've blown thru my Three Boxes worth and need a Refill, that's all!!!   I explained their Job to them, like you seem to have to do these days, coz one would think, since they work for TriCare that they fully know you can't have them AND Medicare Part D, ineligible to receive Part D if you're a Retired Federal Worker coz it would be Two Federal Insurance Funded Coverages!!!  Which, would be Illegal.  But, back in January when United Healthcare dumped all Veterans/Spouses of Veterans on Medicare in Maricopa County, we had to switch Medicare Providers and everything got cocked up beginning in January then!

HUMANA put me on the Wrong Plan and put The Man on the Right Plan when we switched.  That really then confused the Federal Government Side over at TriCare/Express Scripts.  HUMANA finally acknowledged their error, apologized, put me on the Right Plan even tho' Open Enrollment had ended, coz it was their Administrative Error and not my fault or error.  Social Security got involved Penalizing me FOR A LIFETIME for Enrollment Issues, even tho' it wasn't my Fault, so it took Months then to get Social Security to connect with Medicare and TriCare to sort that Error out and now they're slowly Refunding me all the Penalties they took out of my Social Security Checks!!!  It's a big Cluster Fuck is what it is! 

And this isn't even all that I'm Bottoming Out about... so, you can only Imagine what Frosted me this time and sent me Down into the Depths of Bipolar Hell again!!!   Anyway, FINALLY explained it enuf that Express Scripts is expediting my Needles to me, coz I had ONE left for Tomorrow's Lantus Injection.  The VA is very quick, so The Man will probably get his first and we shouldn't miss any Injections.  But just keeping on top of everything is getting hard coz there's an Avalanche of stuff involving Medical, Medications, Hospitalization, OT, PT, Cardiac Rehab, Dental Appointments, Home Nurse Visits, Mental Health Care and Caregiving escalated Needs.  So, I am quite overwhelmed with THAT without more epic Shit happening... and of coarse it did anyway!!!  An unexpected Shitstorm of epic Shit!  *Le Sigh*

The Kiddos have been cleaning up the Property of all the random stuff we just need Bulk Garbage to pick up, and doing my Yardwork.  They found a Nest out near the felled Old Pine Stump of Outdoor Turkistan Red Roaches, slews of them!  So the Kids have been killing them, if they get Indoors they usually Die right away, but it's still bad to have an exterior infestation, but they do like Bark and Old Wood.  So we disrupted that Nesting spot and there was a Snake there too, gorging itself on Roaches, it had set up it's own Buffet being there by their Nest.  It wasn't a poisonous Snake, so the Kids didn't kill it, they just ran it off.  We live in Mini Farms so Garden Snakes do hang out around Farms.  Lately the area has had Roof Rats so I set up some No Kill Traps in case they come onto our Property.  I don't like to put Rat Poison down coz it can Kill other Wildlife... and I don't like to Poison anything anyway.

I should be tidying my House one Room at a time but I just don't have it in me to begin until I'm in a better Head Space.  Or I'd be doing it quite Emotionally Raw and making Bad Decisions or becoming Mentally more Fragile.  It's not that it would probably take all that long, it's clutter on the Floor of the Sitting Room and Dining Room that should not be there and needs to be put in either The She Shed, to be Priced and Sold, or The RV Garage Mahal, to be Kept.   I had been Pricing Inventory but then I ran out of Room at the Antique Mall and so now shit is still sitting around where it shouldn't be and needs Placement to where it just SHOULD BE.   Plus there was some Newly bought stuff I just didn't put away at all yet and Need to.  And I'm Bone Tired and Unmotivated to DO a damned thing, which, I can't seem to Shake.

I got a lot done for a few days and then the Shitstorm of Epic Shit Bottomed me Out again, so, now here we are... once again! *Le Sigh and Sob*  Tomorrow The Daughter has a Cleaning Job in Chandler, but she's not Home at all Today and her New Phone isn't Working AGAIN, which, who knows Why this time?  She's been, as have we all, kind of a Head Case lately, the stressors and strain is getting to everyone, each in their own ways.  She's at least had some Paying side gigs lately and preoccupied herself with Work.  Sometimes the Adult Kiddos and their Issues are hard for me to juggle along with The Man's considerable Issues, which keep worsening.  So, I don't always pay as much attention to when the others here may be faltering and struggling.  Well, Shit, I KNOW they all are!

Anyway, other than all that everything is Swell.  *Bwahahahahaha*  I turned on The News briefly and turned it right back off, it's ALL BAD and worsening, so. I. just. can't. right. now!!!   Those that ain't Woke in America have been so Sound Asleep that they're not even realizing they're being Robbed/Grifted/Grafted Blind!!!  We're talking Billions on several fronts Robbed shamelessly!  The cost of the Reflection Pool Grift has gone up in Price now SEVEN TIMES in just a Day, by MILLIONS OF DOLLARS... Splendid!  The Waste, Fraud, Corruption and Neglect they claimed Social Services and Programs, or Veteran's Earned Benefits, was Costing us and DOGE was Investigating and slashing of those much Needed Services was just a Scam and Distraction, clearly, for what they had in Mind for $$$ of REAL Waste, Fraud, Corruption and Neglect.

 Above, me, as a Teenager, probably around Age 16-17, you know, when you're still full of Hope and Dreams...  *LOL and Winks*   The Ballroom, well that keeps going up and now isn't being Funded Privately by Donors either, we're Paying for it now, in Spades, coz the Price keeps skyrocketing every time we hear about it!  Donnie initially told us the Reflection Pool Cost was $1.8 MILLION, it's up over $18 MILLION now.  The Ballroom was allegedly gonna Cost Taxpayers Nothing... now it's up to $400 MILLION and rising, he's floating it might cost A BILLION now, on the Taxpayer's Dime, of coarse!  And, he's Suing for over a Billion so he can hand that out as Restitution and Compensation to January 6th Insurrectionist Rioters and his other Cronies for what allegedly was DONE TO THEM!  Not to any of the over 100 State Capitol Police harmed and maimed for Protecting the Capitol from an attempted Coup he instigated to try to  hold on to Power and Overturn an Election!  You can't make this shit up!   And Whose stopping him?  I'll wait...

On a Positive Note the exterior of the Property is looking great coz all the Kiddos got together and did a lot of Work on it.  They'd all been Head Cases too the other day, but climbed out of the Deep Funk we were all mired in lately.  I hadn't cluttered up the Exterior, so at least I wasn't the Offender of that.  Yard Work is a constant tho' and an Acre is a lot of Maintenance to keep on top of so The Son is keeping that up for me and didn't like all the random stuff Mando and his Sister had brought that really we weren't gonna use, repair things with, or Sell.  So, it might as well go away.  LATER: I tackled the Sitting Room and it wasn't so bad, got 2/3 of it done in no time, my Executive Function when something just Visually looks like a lot tends to Freeze Up and shut me down sometimes now.  Once I start it's not nearly as overwhelming as I magnified it in my Head and was no Big Deal really.  The Grandson came and gave me some Emotional Support and helped some, I delegated what he could help with.

I realized most of what was on the Floor in that Room had actually been from the Top of the Old Fridge and we just hadn't put it back up there.  So, he's Tall and didn't even need to get on a Step Stool Of Death to do it for me.  *Smiles*  I also had new Books to just Log In to my Record Keeping of the Books I have in my Library, and put them then in the Library of The RV Garage Mahal instead.  Easy peasy and actually very Zen to Log the New Books into the Record Journal of all the Books I have.  I only ended up with One duplicate of a very good Cook Book I can easily Re-Sell.  Once your Library is so vast you can sometimes end up with Duplicates coz you don't always recall which Books you already have that are the Good Ones you'll Score at a Chazza but On The Cheap.  You can't risk Passing and then realize, shit, didn't have that one!  Or you'd have Non-Buyer's Remorse.

Most Chazza Books I'm getting from between $2-$4 each and Retail they go for over $20 to sometimes around $35 at Bookstores.  A place called "Bargain Books" often Donates Books to the SAVERS that my Granddaughter Works at.  I think they're an Online Bargain Bookseller and even their Prices, which are often still on the Books, is very inexpensive compared to the Retail Book's Price.  But, SAVERS then offers it For Sale below even that Discount Price.  And at SAVERS, if you Buy 4 Books you get a 5th One for Free.  And, I always go on Sale Days and Discount Days, plus I build up Store Discount Credits and Coupons when I Donate stuff there, so I never pay the actual Price on anything.  It's always at least another 20%-30% off my whole Purchase.

Those Two Bagged Lots of Pokemon Cards I recently Scored there for $6 a Bag, I had over 130 Cards and several were worth $18-$20-$30 of the better ones.  Princess T did snag most of those for her Collection, she began Collecting them again, natch, now that they've made a huge comeback and could net her some bigger Cash on Resale of them.  We'll make great Margins and her Brother went thru them all for me to separate the Cheap ones from those I can Sell for much more.  Even at a Buck apiece for most, I'm gonna make considerable Margins of Profit and they're an easy Sell and Quick Turn these days.  I also Scored a Metal Pokemon Lunchbox that I think I can get $35 for, I paid $2.

Gypsy James finally got back to me about the Bunny for my Grandson, he said I can pick it up Tomorrow or Monday, he had Plans Today.  The Daughter Works Tomorrow but we'll bring a Cat Carrier and just pick it up on our way Home from her Chandler Job and she can help me pick which Bunny her Son might like best?   I've had the Bunny Food for a long time already and thought perhaps Gypsy James had changed his Mind about giving us one if he had Buyers, coz he knows I ain't paying him nothing for a Rabbit *LOL*, Gypsy to Gypsy, he knows I wanted the Hookup.  *Bwahahahahaha*  But I think they'd been over at his Daughter's House coz she is the one who had the Female Bunny.  James had the Male Bunny at his Property. 

 He has Chickens and grows most of his own Food there in South Phoenix too, deep in Da Hood, in a Historic, but rundown Neighborhood.  It's not Zoned for all that, but, nobody is bothered... folks around there are doing MUCH MORE illegal shit than having Chickens and Rabbits, so they ain't saying nothin' to him about his Livestock.  *LOL and Winks*  There's a great Chinese Restaurant that's been there since the early 1940's in a Historic Adobe Building, near his Home, and I like to go there, but they're Closed on Sundays, dammit, or I'd stop in for a Meal.  You will never go away hungry, they give you so much food cheaply and it's delicious.  The Corner Store, Austin's Cash Market, near him is in an early 1930's Adobe Building in the Historic Cuatro Milpas Barrio too that still has exposed Vigas in the Roof and a gorgeous Aztec Mural Painted all over the Exterior.  We know all the Shop Owners and many Locals around the Barrio coz The Son lived in that Neighborhood for Years too.

They have the Best Pickles!!!  The Son went to this Store almost every Day the Years he lived in that Barrio coz it was Walking Distance from where he and Gypsy James and Indian Carlos Lived.  They were Roommates for many Years and have been Lifelong Friends since Childhood.  So, most of the Friends my Kiddos have are like extended Family to us and I've known them almost all of their Lives.  I'd prefer to go visit Gypsy James and get the Bunny earlier than later, coz that Barrio gets pretty rough after Dark.  Never had any problems, since we know so many people in Da Hood there, but, some Rando might be roaming around looking for what they consider Easy Marks in the Rougher Neighborhoods and I don't wanna keep my Head on the Swivel getting to or from his House with our Bunny.  I'll have The Daughter with me if it's Sunday Night we go, and Gypsy James of coarse, so... I'd pity the Fool  *LMAO*... but, still, I don't Tempt Fate and attempt to avoid all Drama and Headaches and just be Street Smart.

But, now I am Craving WONG'S now and a Pickle from the Corner Market, so I'd rather go on Monday if I'm free that day, gotta look at our Crazy Calendar Schedule first tho'.   And when I did... well, all of next Week is packed with Appointments and Commitments, dammit!  It's getting exhaustive to have a Day to myself without something on the Calendar we must do, mostly for Medical Reasons and/or getting Family to and from Work.   Wouldn't ya know after such a long Unemployment stretch, the moment The Son got a Job, now other offers are coming in, but he doesn't wanna bounce so soon after being hired, even tho' the Work in The Trades pays way better, it's not as stable and he doesn't have his own Transportation to get there and Home either.  So, he declined for now and said he's made a commitment and found some Work that is working out better for now.

  

Above is a Trio of Photos of One of my Dad's Older Brothers as an Old Man and as a Young Man.  He Died in a tragic Car Accident on the Rez, so those were some of the last Photos taken of him.  Luckily his Grandchild that was in the Car with him Survived the Accident, but such a Trauma that her Beloved Grandpa was Killed in it by a Drunk Driver who T-Boned them.  My Paternal Grandparents, my Dad nor any of his Siblings ever drank the Fire Water, they knew what a Scourge is it for Indigenous People the World over.  But, sadly a lot of my Cousins of my Generation and subsequent Generations have been raging Alcoholics coz they did risk Drinking and went down that Road to Alcoholism and Substance Addiction.  Including The Son and The Daughter.  I can't Drink, I get Crazy Indian Drunk if I do, even on a couple Drinks my tolerance is horrible for Alcohol, and I would Fight anyone for no fucking reason, so I Wisely abstain.  *LOL*

 

My Appetite has been Shit Today coz of my Emotionally Raw Head Space I'm in.  I have some great Leftovers from "Cracker Barrel" when we got that Campfire Meal, so I will force myself to eat it.  I know it's delicious, I just don't ever Feel Hunger when I'm Emotionally or Mentally not in a Good Head Space.  I could go Days without Eating if I linger in that Frame of Mind and that wouldn't be Good.  Unlike most folks who tend to Binge Eat when Upset or Emotional, I just shut down and don't Eat, Sleep too much, Feel very Numb and Flatlined in an Unemotional appearing State of Being.  I am Feeling Not Right, but I can't say I'm Feeling actually anything either, just Raw and I'll go thru the Motions to do what's absolutely necessary, mostly by rote.  I try not to stay in that Condition too long, it can be hard to Climb out of tho'.  Blogging is Helpful, otherwise I'm just crawl right back into Bed and try to continue Sleeping it Off.  Then I can't Take Care of anyone tho' either, so I have to push forward.  It takes a lot of your Energy.

   

And addressing Issues that tend to Trigger an Episode of a Bipolar Low can be tricky as Hell.   So, I try to wait awhile before I would attempt to.  Otherwise I Risk not Handling it Well or Wisely, let us just say.  It's not that Dark Dawn can't Handle whatever Shit I'm confronted with, but I probably shouldn't let that be my dominant Self to.  *Winks*  I do miss having each of my Parents to consult about Wisdom of The Elders.  Yeah, I know I'm an Elder now myself, but you who also are, know what I mean.  The Generations and Ancestors that came before us had a different kind of Wisdom that I found to be most Helpful and came from a different Era and different place, but, was Sage Wisdom that was Timeless too.   My Dad was the Parent I usually consulted most often.  Mom Outlived him by a Decade, so she became the one to consult then for her last Decade of Life until she was compromised considerably by the Dementia.  I try to Imagine what they would Advise now?

 

Some Close-Ups of my Mom when she was in her Eighties, that my Brother took of her at the Hospice, as she fiercely battled the end stages of Dementia.   She had made Friends there so she was Happy enuf and that's all that mattered, since, she'd forgotten much about her Memories of anyone by then, as they just faded and then dropped away in layers.  My Brother and his Lady had to eventually take over for me as Caregiver and making Decisions about Long Term Care, coz they had more influential Contacts to pull Favors in from Celebrities in Cali, so, we moved her there.  I had her here in a very nice Facility here but it was not affordable at all and Medicare would only cover 21 Days at a time... so... it wasn't gonna work on for Long Term Care and she couldn't come Home and be met at her Point of Need anymore.  

 Dad had Served 27 Years in the Military and Retired, but it did her no good after she outlived him by a Decade.   Even with The Man's 39 Years of Military Service, Retirement and being 100% Disabled, it won't do me any good either if he precedes me into the Afterlife.  People don't realize how forsaken a lot of our Military Families are by our Government if something happens to the Veteran.  It's why you see them Sponsored like 3rd World Children by Charitable Civilian Organizations and Donors rather than by our Government taking Care of their Needs or ensuring they receive all of their Earned Benefits.   Like Social Security, it's Earned, it's not a Handout, it is EARNED Benefits.   And I get angry that our Veterans Honored their Contractual Agreement to Country, but our Country isn't necessarily Honoring their Contractual Agreement to our Veterans and their Families, eroding and eliminating or cutting Earned Benefits all of the time.  There's no Do-Over!!!

*******

I'd say Hanging in there, but, mostly, I'm just Hanging, I don't know if it's in there or not?  Smiles... Dawn... The Bohemian