The Shock Factor And... Being Melancholy

 Okay, I will try not to Rant or Bitch during this Post... TRY being the Key Word here.  *Winks*  I just finished the big load of Towels and Blankets I hauled out of the Hoard that was The Young Prince's Personal Space.  He called to ask if I'd bring a Delivery to his Room that was on the front Doorstep.  I had the Come To Jesus with him in advance over the Phone, since, he's still not Home and I thought, well, better to break the News to him now that I ventured into the Bowels of Hell and saw what would give me another Anxiety Attack.  A bigger one than the one his Mom left me to Witness when I entered her level of Hell in the 5th Wheel before we cleaned it out and they'd moved out.  He knows what that looked like... and how I reacted.

He swears he's been "Working Hard on it Gramma", and I say, well Lord Jesus Help us then!!!  And come down off the Cross again to assist, coz, it wasn't Okay and isn't Hard Enough, we HAVE to do better to keep it Safer and more Sanitary, my Child!!!  He agreed he "Needs Help", Yeah, that's obvious too, admitted it overwhelms him, that nobody Helps {mostly coz he doesn't like anyone entering his Space and we respect that except for my Safety Inspections}, which he knows will happen, whether he likes it or not.  As Ringmaster and Chief Caregiver of this here shitshow it is my Sacred Duty to ensure Safety and Sanitation, it's Mandatory, not Optional.  He understands and Agreed to allow me to Help him, since, clearly, he's not capable of managing it alone.  So, we'll see how that goes?

He claimed all the Clothing on the Floor is Clean... ??? Raised Eyebrow.  I said, well, it had to be walked on constantly, so, are you sure?  He hesitated and then said, well, I've been 'sorting' it.  By 'sorting' do you mean flinging it about like a Maniac, so that anywhere it lands is 'sorted', okay then.  Another Raised Eyebrow.  You know I found things underneath all the Clothing don't you?  Yeah, well, those could have gotten broken and I know some of those are your Bobblehead Collection you Cherish, so, was that a Wise place for them to be under a layer of 'Sorted' Clothes strewn all over the Floor so that you couldn't see the Floor or the Dozen Figures you wouldn't want broken?  Another Pause.  And... yeah, I did find some things we won't mention specifically on the ole Blog, but I did to The Son, who was helping me, so he'd have a Heads Up... and start Laughing his Ass off, coz it was me who found it, not him!  *LOL*

Tho' it's not like I haven't seen my fair share of Adult Toys, let us just say.  But, I still just don't wanna accidentally grab and handle one when I think I'm picking something else up off the Floor, like a Towel, Okay?  Not much can shock me at this Season of Life and I'm very Open Minded and Liberal when it comes to whatever floats your Boat.   And that was some Floatation Device, lemme tell ya!!!  *Bwahahahaha*  I really haven't kept up with what Options Specialty Stores offer, coz, The Daughter Laughed her Ass off too when I told her I'd Found hers too under a bunch of what I picked up off the Floor... Surprise!!!  "That's a nice one", her Son just deadpanned  *LMAOROTF*, since he was the one Helping me with his Uncle that day to clear out her Schizophrenic Hoard.  This is Why I won't Help you with their stuff, Princess T deadpanned later.  *Bwahahahaha*

Mom, you really are a Soldier, is all The Son could say about how I handle such Discoveries without batting an Eye about it.  Most of my Friend's Parents would be hyperventilating and having the Vapors if they found their Kids or Grandkids Adult Toys like that.  Well, I admit some of the Adults I know would be clutching their Pearls and having the Vapors rather than having a Sense of Gallow's Dark Humor about it too I guess.  But, I been Grown a long time.  And there's not a whole lot I haven't Seen... or done, and can't Unsee either, so, none of this was all that shocking at all.  If you CAN manage to Shock me, you're extremely Unique and Madly Creative in your Shock Factor.  And, we're very Open in this Family, my Kids and Grandkids have always known you can tell me anything and I can Handle it.  You're only ever as Sick as your Secrets in Life and Confession is good for the Soul.

I must say I didn't have the Energy to do our Load of Laundry, I was fairly spent for the Day's unexpected Work I performed.  It was a LOT for a Saturday that was allegedly a "Free Day" to do whatever I wanted.  I ate some Tiramisu Cake for Comfort Food and was Good to Go now for another 10,000 Miles.  *Winks*  At least now all Kids are Grown I won't be woke early on Easter Sunday Morning to do an Egg Hunt and bestow Easter Baskets.  Or doing a Sunrise Service at Church.  I do kinda miss doing it, but like the Sleeping In part more now.  *Smiles*  After my Pastor Died our First Lady now does only Online Services and sometimes I catch one, they Closed down their Brick & Mortar location during the Pandemic.  I'm sure some of the Congregation still do the Street and Prison Ministries.  I haven't since Caregiving became Full Time and all consuming.

I don't like Organized Religions anyway and always preferred Street Ministry and Food Ministry Work.  Being Love in Action for the most Marginalized and Needy Communities often neglected or unwelcome or Judged harshly in most Churches filled with Churchy Folk.  Preach the Gospel to all the World, use Words only if you have to is my Mantra.  What you DO for the hurting and Needy in this World matter so much more than lip service Preaching and with no corresponding Action that matters to them and isn't Helpful to meet them at any Point of Need.  A good Sermon is just that, a good Sermon, but if you send everyone away with Needs unmet and say just Thoughts and Prayers, Thoughts and Prayers... generally it's not very Helpful. 

 Some Prayers go Unanswered, some Thoughts stray quickly.  It is appreciated, but Present Help is usually appreciated all the more... even from those who don't Pray and don't have to Think about Helping.  I am a Prayerful and Spiritual person and I do think Prayer can be Powerful, especially when magnified by many in Agreement about what we'd ask for Divine Intervention for.  But I have had many an Unanswered Prayer, and so when Present Help showed up and showed out in Action, it really mattered, that's what I'm driving Home a Point of.  I've had those of no particular Faith or Religion sometimes show more concern, more Humanity, more Love in Action, and more Godliness than those that profess to be among the Faithful too.  I think that is what would make Jesus Weep.  Just sayin'.

We keep getting Mail for this Guy named Bigelow who has never lived here, important Mail, even his Tax Mail, we keep sending it back as Wrong Address, never lived here.  I don't know why he'd be giving our Address rather than his own?  He wasn't the person we bought this Property from, wasn't the people they bought it from and who built the Property, so it's just Weird.  For shits and grins I looked up the name of anyone local with that Surname and there is some Pool Repair Guy in a neighboring City whose only had his Business 4 Years.  Mebbe it's him, mebbe not?  Mebbe this Guy whose Mail it is, is hiding out from Creditors and such and giving false information about his whereabouts when he applies for Loans and such, I dunno?  I'm tiring of getting so much of his Mail tho' and notified the Post Office more than once that we shouldn't be getting his Mail, it's not his Address and never has been.

Most people giving Wrong Mailing Addresses consistently, to many places that would be sending them Mail, have fraudulent intent.  Intentional deception is pretty common these days.  Porch Pirates often use false addresses for Stolen Credit Card Purchases in hopes of picking up the Package before the Homeowner discovers it and notifies the Sender it's not theirs.   And some establish false Residency Status to obtain Services they are not entitled to receive.   People are always trying to Scam various Systems and indulge in activities they shouldn't, so after too much Mail being addressed to a Person who never was here, I Report it.  Usually then it ceases coz the last thing a Criminal wants is to be traced back to whatever Game they're running and giving False Identities, False Addresses, etcetera.

I'm now Three Posts ahead unpublished and this one would make Four, I'm on a Bloggy Roll I am.  *Winks*  It's coz I've sat Home all day and when I'm not working at something, I retreat to The Land Of Blog to keep Centered and Balanced.  That's important these days.  In Real Time it will be Easter Sunday Tomorrow and the only Plans we do have is Easter Dinner at "Dino's" at 4:00 p.m., just The Man and I.  Princess T hasn't been Home for Days since she took Days off and left me in charge of her Cat's Care.  She Promised to be Home by Monday Morning so she can give me her Debit Card before we go in to the CPA to have our Taxes done, since she's covering everything for us, Bless her.  I still get a lump in my Throat from how Touched I am she volunteered to do that and won't allow me to pay her back.

It's actually so Cool Outside Tonight that I could do some Work in The RV Garage Mahal but I wouldn't even know where to start?  The Daughter did leave some Aisles in there completely in disarray from her going thru everything to Organize it into Like-Objects to help with the Big Edit and Purge, always ongoing, never ending.  She'd done so much in there I can't complain coz it is a Work in Progress and still much Culling needs to be done, clearly.  It's hard coz most of what's in there is of the Selling variety of what would be Culled.  And I have limited Retail Space to cram it in there and don't have the Spaces here in Order enuf for Invited Picking of my Industry Friends.  Plus, the last time I invited one he kept wanting to Buy only what I was unwilling to Sell, the most Primo items I'm keeping and not Selling.  

 

Ain't that the way it always is?  It's all The Good Stuff but a Picker always wants the BEST you have and mebbe you're not Selling that at a Picker Discount.  If I'm gonna let go of my Primo items, I can get Full Value easily to profit myself most from having Invested in it.   I will and have Sold a lot of the Good Stuff to Industry Friends and always give them that 1st Cousin Deal/Discount so we all can make Money.  But, some things will not be For Sale in my Lifetime and they'll have to Negotiate with my Heirs for those Primo items that I wanted to Keep for my Lifetime to enjoy and didn't Need to Sell Off.   Anyway, as it stands, my Showroom and Locked Case are chock full right now and until we get more Turn on our Sales, I can't keep bringing more in, no room to.

When The Daughter was here and doing Yard Sales, frankly I was disappointed in how poorly they were attended.  Used to be you could easily make a few Hundred Bucks in one Morning at any Yard Sale you Hosted.  Those days are long gone just like Sales sag now at Antique Mall Spaces.  I used to make more Money on that Hobby than I was making Working a Career sometimes.  I think that's why some folks started trying to do it to make a Living, but, the Market is so fickle, especially the Antiques/Vintage/Collectibles Market.  I would never presume to make it a Living, so it will always just be a Hobby.  Most of the time it's almost not worth doing unless you really Love the doing of it.  I happen to still really enjoy the doing of it even when it's not making Money, or barely making Money to do it.  What else are ya gonna do anyway, inflation is eroding whatever your Money and Investments is worth anyway.

In Retirement you just have to do what you Love and be content with that Freedom to pursue your Bliss, whether it's profitable to or not.  I'm glad we're Retired, we devoted a lot of our Life to our Careers and had a good measure of Success, so we Earned our Retirement Years, for sure.  These still can be some of the Best Years if we keep it all in perspective.  I still got what I consider First World Problems.  And having lived in Third World Countries, or visited some, I know the difference.  The Young Prince never did come Home either, but that's Okay.  He will have Five Laundry Baskets sitting in the Hallway, of what he claims is "sorted and clean clothing" I picked up off his Floor in there, to go thru and re-sort, or whatever the Hell he was actually doing with it on the Canvas of his Psychotic Schizophrenic Imagination?  *Smiles*   One Laundry Basket worth of Towels and Blankets is now neatly Washed and Folded, put away, he can Thank me later.  His Grandpa did all his dirty dishes too, he can Thank him later too.

The Son has been the only one Home with us all Holiday Weekend and working furiously doing things for us in the Yard and helping me in the House wade thru his Nephews Chaos and Hoard.   He told me he's glad he never had Kids, he knows he couldn't handle it if they were high maintenance or defective Kids.  I hadda Laugh coz he was Dead Serious about it and off-n-on always wondered if he should have had Bio Children... now he's confident he made the right decision not to.  *LOL*  He's helped various Women he's been with a long time Raise and Support their Children, that was enuf Parenting for him to have no delusions.  Plus, he helped me with The G-Kid Force coz he was only 13 when The Young Prince was Born and still living at Home and a Teenager when Princess T was Born, we were Custodial Grandparents before we got the last of ours Raised.  It was a lot of Kids, he used to say.  Being my Youngest Child he always thought he'd enjoy some time of being the Only Child still at Home.  No such Luck.  *LOL*

This is Mom the last Year of her Life, Age 84, and with full blown end stage Dementia by then.   A part of her was still there and she still was Radiant of Spirit.  Dad's Spirit had left shortly before he did, he gave it up voluntarily, without a Fight, she fought the Grim Reaper Tooth and Nail, he had a hard time Taking her to the other side.  But, that's how she was, so I can't say I was surprised, she beat Death so many times before, for over Forty Years, including Cancer.  And really since Birth and many Childhood serious Illnesses like Diphtheria and Scarlet Fever, getting run over by a Car and dragged Five Miles under it, and Surviving WWII in War Ravaged Europe, which is pretty impressive.  She couldn't remember much English by then and had reverted to speaking her First Language of Welsh, and she didn't know who my Younger Brother was or that our Dad had Passed away many Years beforehand.   

She thought my Brother was her Brother and I told him to just go along with it and don't keep telling her Dad was Dead, it just upset her too much.   I still Miss my Parents terribly, you never really get over the Loss of them.  I think about each of them every single day.   This is The Daughter at Age 12, just before I paid Five Grand to have Braces put on her Teeth coz she had a Condition with her Jaw that required it.  She had the most Ahhhmazing Teeth and Smile afterwards and destroyed it with Decades of dangerous Drug Use and neglect of herself.  She laments that fact.   She was not Mentally Ill as a Child and so I recall those Years fondly, she developed her SMI and Schizophrenia in her early Teens.  So, I Lost this Child at about Age 14, just a couple Years after this Pix was taken and had to Learn to accept and Love unconditionally who she became.  Much like I did after The Man's Catastrophic Accident and Traumatic Brain Injury forever Changed who he was.  I do Wonder who they might have Been otherwise?

I've been rather Melancholy lately and pulling myself up out of that has been a Challenge.   I'm Bipolar and have Mixed Episodes, but I used to have more Mania than Depressive Episodes all my Life.  Now the Shift has come with equal Mixed Episodes of both and I'm not as used to the Depressive Side of being Manic Depressive.   I'm used to being Manic and having Mania, I don't mind Manic.   I don't mind being ADHD either or having OCD, I Cope well with both actually, it's my "Normal" and I don't know any other way of Being actually... been that way my whole Life.   But the Depressive Episodes are The Devil and a Bitch to move thru.  I wake up pretty Positive and Happy most of the time tho', so, it's only as my day wears on a bit that the Melancholy and inability to Cope tends to set in and make Life quite the struggle to move thru effectively without impairment now.   I get overwhelmed, I feel Hopeless, I don't wanna Do a damned thing sometimes, and Caring Less has become habitual it seems.  I have almost No Fucks to Give anymore. 

That's why it was Cute and Humorous for Princess T to Buy me that  "Bag Of Fucks I Have To Give" filled with Five Fucks, as a Surprise Gift for no Reason... coz, I doubt I have that many left to give actually.  She recognizes I'm struggling and I know that makes her very Anxious and Worried, coz I used to be able to Mask it and now I just am not that good an Actress anymore.  Plus, they're all Grown now so sometimes I do keep it 100% when I'm not in a Good Head Space and they Need to Know that Fact.   The Man probably feels the most Anxious when he sees me faltering coz I usually don't falter.   And he knows he's in no condition now to step up and step in for me, he'd like to, he wants to, but he hasn't the capacity to anymore, Bless him.   

The Son has been trying to step in and step up, also not hide at the bottom of a Beer Can when he's not Coping so well with it all either.  He's kept Clean, but the Autism and his Bipolar Condition are Forever too, so he hasn't kicked Alcoholism yet and attained Sobriety from that Addiction.  He admitted he doesn't think he could do this Hand Dealt in our Lives completely Sober, so he doesn't even want to not have something to take the Edge off and Escape into.   He cut back coz I told him he had to, he was drinking too early sometimes and it does not make Life or Relationships and Issues less complicated to be Drunk.  I haven't hit the Gym in a little while coz Physically I've felt pretty drained lately too and sore all over.  Just doing what I must here at Home, Physically wears me out now.  And there's much to do and no Staff.  I also don't have The Daughter here helping anymore and she was a Present Help, a good one... more than she probably knew.

 

She also was supposed to help me with her Son, and Promised to, when he came back.   But, I could tell they were not getting along anymore at all.  Two Schizophrenics might Care about each other, but he was judging her harshly and feeling she wasn't trying hard enuf to be a Parent, even tho' on a logical level he knew she is unfit to be one, which is Why I Raised them and got Custody of them since Infancy.   She was starting not to get along with her Daughter either.  Not becoz she didn't want to, but Princess T was getting irritated about how her Mom just is, and she is how she is, so, I can't change any of that.  It's tough for the Kids to unconditionally accept a Mom who was absent damned near 20 Years from their Lives and then suddenly thrust into their Lives.  

On the one hand they appreciated having Time with her for the first time ever, on the other hand it was hard for them to see how Ill she is, how unstable, how prone to making Poor choices all the time, how difficult to sustain Relationship, and the drinking bothers them a LOT.  Neither their Grandpa or I drinks, so they didn't grow up with that baggage.   They don't like their Uncle drinking either, but he's more like an Older Sibling to them and he'd moved out before he became an Alcoholic, so they didn't have to live with it before.  Living with anyone with Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, a Gambling Problem, or any other Substance Abuse Issues is a tough fucking row to hoe.   I can handle someone's Serious Mental Illness easier than I can handle what Docs or the Streets might provide to them and get them strung out on. 

They did recall when Grandpa was strung out on Pain Management Meds when they were little from the VA prescribing them too much and handing them out to Veterans like Tic-Tacs.  That was a difficult Period, I used the "D" word to make him get Clean from Opioid Prescription Dependency... or I was leaving him.  He knew my 1st Divorce was due to Substance Abuse by my Ex, so he knew I meant it.  He got Clean, he's stayed Clean even tho' he's in Chronic Pain all the time from War related injuries that Earned him several Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star.  He's been put together so many times during 39 Years of Military Service he is like the Bionic Man.   And the PTSD is tormenting too, but, he has to Soldier thru it Clean, I can't handle living around or with Drug Addiction, it's a HUGE Trigger to me.  My Mom was Addicted to Prescribed Drugs for Serial Mental Illness and Physical Ailments my entire Childhood and the rest of her Life.  It was a tough row to hoe and as a Kid you had no Choice.

Some long time Readers might remember me talking of the Theft we had at the Antique Mall by that Mousy Librarian MAGA Thief Vendor who stole a KISS Figure and then later got caught Red Handed Stealing a bigger more expensive Mannequin from us?   Well, I stumbled upon the Pix I'd taken of the Stolen KISS Figure, that we showed Management.  But couldn't prove the one she had was ours coz the Red Dot we'd marked the Original Tag with was on the backside of the Tag as Photographed here, dammit!  Otherwise we could have proven that Theft too and that she'd swapped Vendor Price Tags on it and made a complete Set of Four, coz ours was the One she was Missing from the Full Set.  She Stole this within an Hour of us putting it into Inventory! 

 We'd noticed when we brought it in and passed by her Space that she had the other Three, individually Priced. And when ours turned up Missing, we checked to see if hers had Sold or turned up Missing too?  Instead she now had it priced as a Set and Ours was there with her Tag on it and our Red Dot identifying it as ours.  Now I keep my Eye on that Bitch coz I know she Steals from other Vendors and I make it widely known that she does.  I confronted her when she Stole our Mannequin, so, got it back from her.  Without an Apology and without Management banning her from the Mall, as they should have.  She knows she's on my Enemies List Radar, so she steers clear of me now.  And she's never challenged me telling everyone she's a Thief, coz she knows she is one.  The last time she stole from me and got caught and had to admit she did it, I told her, Steal from me again and see what happens to you... it's not a Threat, it's a fucking Promise you'll rue the day.  You can't Trust a Liar or a Thief.  If you're one or both, you're Ex-Communicado to me.

This Fur Baby was our Male Siamese, Yul, who came to us as a Stray, was Princess T's best Friend for Years, had to be put to Sleep when he developed Terminal Feline Leukemia.  I cried my Eyes out making that decision even tho' it happening took Seconds and was so Peaceful that I knew it had ended much suffering for him and he'd of Died horribly from the Disease taking him.   And, he would have spread it to our other Cats from what the Vet told me, coz it's highly contagious.  I don't know how or why it is, since Human Leukemia isn't, but it's apparently some kind of Retrovirus so not a Cancer itself.  He disappeared for a couple of Weeks, had left Home Healthy and came back Sickly, that's all I knew and when I took him to the Vet, that's what they diagnosed and he deteriorated rapidly.  I spent a Vet fortune trying to do something about it, to no avail.   Since he'd come to us as a Stray he never wanted to be Indoors at all and would Freak Out if brought Inside, so we couldn't Isolate him.  He was an excellent Cat.  He got much bigger than this Pix when he was in his Prime of Life.

********

Fighting the Melancholy Blues in the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

A Dump Of Information To Chew On And Try to Digest

 

I decided to pull out any Towels and Blankets of The Grandson's Laundry Hoard and do that Load, it's quick and easy to do, and everyone uses the Towels.  So, now we know where all the missing Towels went.  The Man is taking one for the Team, since it's only Three of us at Home and The Son is doing a lot of Yardwork and I'm doing the Laundry, to do the dirty Dishes we pulled out of there.  Which was mostly Cereal Bowls and Utensils, so now we also know where all the Bowls and Spoons/Forks went.  *Eye Roll*  We'd suspected... since, The Daughter isn't here anymore and she's an equal Co-Offender as her Son is.  They both have Schizophrenia and some of the Negative Symptoms include Apathy and lack of Motivation {Avolition}, Disorganization, and Planning Issues.

Along with what are called Positive Symptoms that are intense, like Hallucinations and Delusions that dominate their Attention.   Those Factors create severe Challenges with Routines, Executive Functions, Self-Care rather than simply Laziness.  If they have tendency to also be Lazy, that just amplifies the situation, with The Daughter she's not Lazy, but with the Grandson, he can be and doesn't deny he can be.  Difficulty completing multi-step Tasks for him makes cleaning sometimes overwhelming and confusing and his acute Psychosis and intense Hallucinations or Delusional Thoughts can take up all his Attention and altered Perceptions.  That leaves little cognitive Space for Sanitation.  His Sensory Issues play a role too coz he feels detached from his own Body so much of the time and he has Cognitive Decline from his Mental Illness much like The Man has with Dementia actually.

Enough of that, we're running damage control behind those in the Family with Cognitive Decline and Brain Damage or Serious Mental Illness all that we can when you have several with those levels of Disability sharing Space.   It does feel like I'm running a Group Home or Asylum at times, but without Staff.  Or any Formal Training in Psychiatry or Psychology, so I make it up as I go along and see what Works and what Fails.  Keeping Pace is the harder part as I'm Aging Out coz I only have a finite amount of Stamina and Strength left now and by Noon or so, it's depleted completely and a lot isn't getting done.  And, that is problematic too, coz when I'm not Coping well, then things go to shit pretty fast.  I don't want a lot of Outsider interference since receiving Services always comes with so much Criteria and loss of controlling your own Destiny, it's a delicate balance.  Having Strangers making decisions isn't always a good thing or doesn't always have good results either.

Having Help always does come with Strings attached, and Qualifying Factors galore, lots of them in fact.  But I did finally decide I needed Help with The Grandson and The Man, so we had to accept some Caseworkers being assigned to their Cases in order to be met at their Point of Need I couldn't provide by myself anymore.  I want to keep them both at Home and not Institutionalized.  Which, wouldn't Cost me anything for The Grandson, he's 25 and not my Legal Responsibility to cover the extensive Costs of his long-term Care.   But, for The Man, we're Married, so our Assets are subject to being wiped out completely in order to provide that level of Care just for him and leave me pretty much Fucked and destitute.  Along with anyone else dependent upon our Care and to have Shelter and Food for the rest of us.  So, it's just not an Option at all.

Thanks for allowing me the Caregiver Vent and Rant for this Post... it's Cheaper than Therapy and if I dumped all of this on any Therapist or Shrink, they'd probably want me on a bunch of Strong Medications.  *LMAO*  People I happen to know pop a Prozac for trifles that they consider huge Issues of Life and for me would be considered a fucking Walk in the Park compared to what I'm Dealing with Daily.  So, pretty sure if they're prescribed that for their shit they can't Cope well with, the Medical Pros would have me really strung out on a lot of strong Pharma Coping defaults they resort to!?   When they sure can't Solve your Situation or eliminate a Problem or slew of them, that you just gotta Live with and somehow Deal with and Cope with.  I don't wanna be popping Pills just to get thru a Day, it's not who I am to think that's a Solution to any Problem I have, by any stretch of my Imagination.

Every Prescription Pill Popper I know or have ever known just ends up with that layering yet another Problem on top of their existing Problems they weren't Coping with either.   And Dependency can be The Devil, whatever or whoever you place your Dependency upon ultimately Controls you.   And I'm a Control Freak, I freely admit it, relinquishing Control of my own Destiny is not something I'd do voluntarily and just hand it to someone else with total Trust that they'd have it up under sufficient Control to be beneficial to me.  And if it's not a Solution, then it just becomes another Problem, I already got 99 of those, I don't Need even One more, Thanks, but, No Thanks.

I'm gonna take The Man for a little drive for both of our Mental Health, we're dropping The Son off at the Plasma Center so he can get some Cash for what we can't or won't provide.  I do Need the Escape right now and even tho' Gas is expensive, a short ride won't break the Budget and will be worth the little distraction from The Grind.  I did finally get out of my Jammies by 2:00 p.m., so, that's Progress, Right?  *LOL*  I'm wearing my "Sorry about our President" Shirt with some Black Capris, it has that saying in 16 different Languages including Sign Language.  *Winks*  I've gotten my Value out of Buying it coz I wore it often during 1.0 and for 2.0 I get even more compliments from Random People when I'm wearing it now. 

 His Approval Ratings are plummeting rapidly and anyone still attached to him will be Guilty by Association now for probably the rest of their Lives/Careers.  History isn't Kind to those standing on the Wrong Side of it.  And his Lies are catching up to him, especially about the glib shit he's saying about his Ego War, how he's obliterated this and that and yet, he hasn't.  Now we've got F-15's and other American Aircraft shot down and a Pilot stranded in Enemy Territory, at grave risk of Enemy Capture... so this Prez's unserious attitude about what he calls a Leisurely "Excursion" has gotten Dead Serious and he doesn't wanna confront or face that Reality so is defaulting now to Threatening actual War Crimes!!!  Is that who America wants to be, a Country known for now committing War Crimes on purpose!?  I think not for the majority of Americans who want to remain Proud of who we are and what we stand for that is Honorable and on the Right Side of History.  We have some Bad and Shameful History, but let us not add to it.

Not that he hasn't already committed some, but, they do have to find Soldiers willing to commit War Crimes.   Who don't have absolute Immunity offered to them if they violate the Rules of War and suffer the consequences of that decision or following that illegal Order.  Hegseth is trying to purge the Military of competent Leadership who aren't Cult Devotees and have Loyalty to One demented Criminal Old Man rather than the Constitution and their Country.  Hegseth should be held accountable for his Crimes and Extremist Bloodlust Warmongering Fanaticism, for sure, he's a real piece of Work, that one.  He was flagged as an "Insider Threat" when he was in the Army National Guard and resigned since he's interpreted as being a Extremist.  And it was well known he's an Alcoholic and White Supremacist.  His Medals are meritorious, not for Valor or any single acts of Heroism.  He's been barred from Serving actually during another Administration.

 

I took The Man out for a little drive and to have Dinner at "Church's" Chicken, they have a Big Meal Deal Box Dinner Special.  His Surf & Turf Meal was $10 and my Chicken Meal was $8, each came with Two Sides and a Honey Biscuit with Medium refillable Drink, not bad.  And it's in the Old Neighborhood so they always give us the Hood Hookup on portion sizes that really are upsized at no extra charge.  My Side of Fried Okra for example should be a tiny little Side, they give me a Medium sized BAG, like you'd pack a Kid's Lunch in, filled with Fried Okra.  So, I had Fried Okra for Days.  *LOL and Winks*  The Man got Extra Fried Shrimp too so he didn't eat half his Chicken Tenders he chose, too full.  *Smiles*  He enjoyed getting out for a while but it was almost 100 Today this Afternoon so we came right back Home afterwards.  He's still not Well enuf, even in an Air Conditioned Vehicle, to be dragged around too much yet.

 

There's lotsa Easter Family Outside Gatherings going on in our Mini Farms Community for this Holiday Weekend, some are already in full swing.  With having Acreage you can Host big Gatherings and set up Tents or Covered Gazebos in the back Pastures and that's what many Families do.  And a lot of them have huge Families or a whole lotta Friends coz it's a very large Gathering.  I don't even think I know that many People.  *LOL*  The Neighbor on the Corner Lot on our Street had about Six large Tented Gazebos set up in their Back Pasture, with long Harvest sized Tables and Chairs, all the Tables were full of People.  They had about a Four Table Buffet spread set up on the Back Porch full of Food, quite the Holy Day Celebration going on.  There were Vehicles parked up and down Two Streets in attendance.   Back in Da Day, when we lived in the Old Barrio, we'd get Invited to a lot of those Gatherings our Neighbors had.

We still know a lot of the same folks, but as we've all Aged, they Hosted fewer and fewer, much like we have Hosted fewer and fewer Gatherings at our Homes.  Or even in the Parks, like we all used to if the Gatherings became too large to Host from your Property.  I miss it in some ways, but if we were Invited to some, I don't know we'd always confirm we'd be able to attend, frankly.  The Man's Health just isn't conducive to doing that anymore.   Our Kiddos sometimes still go to Gatherings with their Friends tho', the Younger Generations still Host some.  Our Neighbors, on both sides, still Host a lot of them at their Properties.  Our Elderly Neighbors still Host a lot of Gatherings for their Church Friends, I guess Families rotate doing it.  And Omar's Family are a typically large and Multi-Generational Hispanic Family who have Gatherings almost every Weekend at their Property.  Three to Four Generations live on the Property.

I don't know how The Young Prince is gonna react to me going in there with his Uncle and cleaning up.  He's got to come to terms with the fact this is our Home and Safety plus sufficient Sanitary Hygiene is important if he expects to remain living here.  If he needs Help with it we're willing to Assist, but, it can't be like that and still needs Work in there.  But, I can now see the Floor and took out all Trash.  Put all Dirty Laundry I could find/see in Laundry Baskets now lining our Hallway where the Washer/Dryer is, and will have to figure an Organized way for him to have it all once it's Clean?  I have some Chest of Drawers in the Art Studio currently holding Art Supplies, but I could empty some of that out to give him Storage Space for Clothing.  There's no Closet in there, but there are Clothing Racks.  Most hold my overspill since our Closet Space in this Home is limited and small, too small.  He's allowed to Share my T-Shirts so long as he Washes them and doesn't ruin any of them.

He's drawn Protective Symbols in Chalk all over most of the Furniture in there, but, it's Chalk and can be easily removed, so as long as it helps him feel less Paranoid and "Protected", I don't battle him on that.  He's got those Chalk Symbols around every Doorway in the House, in my Truck on the Doors.  He's got Talisman Objects everywhere, Bells and Pouches of whatever he puts in there for his Magic to Ward Off Evil Spirits.  He is very Tormented by Hallucinations of Bad Spirits and feels he must keep them at Bay.  He sees a lot of things nobody else Sees but is very Real to him.  So, if it brings him a Peace to have these Chalk Symbols and little Pouches of Crystals, Glitter, Sage or whatever benign Objects he puts in them, I'm Fine with that too.   He's got some kind of elaborate Altar outside of his Front Door to The Art Studio Space.  The Son was asking, what's he got this for?  I dunno, just don't Touch it okay?  *Shrugs*  Hey, I got my own Superstitions, Talisman Objects, Rituals and such, so, whatever, I'm not Judging.

The Son was like, Mom, mebbe you should Photograph some of this stuff and show whoever has to Interview him at Social Security and determine level of Mental Health and Disability?   I dunno, he might be overly Sensitive about doing that, but if he lets me, then we definitely will, it can't hurt.  Since he actually Presents very well since he's highly Intellectual and very Intelligent.   Crazy, not Stupid.   And his level of Cray-Cray definitely interferes with his ability to take Care of himself, Work or Care for his Surroundings Safely, with proper Hygiene practices, and Appropriately.  I should have mebbe Photographed the Room before I ran damage control behind it, but I don't really want Social Services coming down hard and removing him from the Home or thinking we're not competent to take Care of him or The Man.  You never know, it's a double edged Sword sometimes what they might assess and run interference with a Family on?  I'm not trying to get either one of them taken away.

The whole Prez's Family are deeply involved in those scandalous and Sick Insider "Prediction Markets" Betting, and it has been verified they had to take down a site already betting on whether that downed Pilot would be found Dead or Alive!!!  {Since has been rescued, but Insider Information Shared with this Presidential Family is making them all even Richer.}  Since the Prez has sensitive information first, before it's ever released, you just know Insider Betting is off the Chain and his Spawn is profiting most off of it and placing lots of those Bets with the Insider Information they receive from Dad.  It's unregulated Betting using wagers on outcomes of things like Elections, Wars, and Economic Developments.   Don Jr. is a strategic Advisor to and Investor in "Polymarket", a leading Platform for these Bets.

  

 And the Family is launching their own Platform said to be called "Truth Predict".  Along with Political Election Prediction Markets they are deeply involved in War Betting, Geopolitical Risk Markets, World Liberty Financial {A Cryptocurrency Venture founded by the Prez and his Sons} which Deals in Decentralized Finance, Meme Coins {highly speculative Cryptocurrencies}, and various Crypto Partnerships.   Definite Conflicts of Interest, almost certainly Insider Trading and even "Death Markets".  It's very Twisted, Dark, very Sick, very profitable, and that bunch will do anything for the Love of Money and obtaining more of it... mostly Illegally, since, nobody has gone to Prison in their Family yet for it.  And frankly, nobody is stopping them.  Just a little something for you all to consider and chew on and try to digest, that isn't making much News, but, should.   

A lot of things folks are hesitant to criticize, or speak Truth to Power, lest they be Targeted for Revenge and Retribution.  Since that Tour is still making its rounds, much like a Band or Entertainer would, only not in a Good way, coming to somewhere near you soon.  Especially if you're in a Blue or Purple Political area of the Country.  The whole Revenge and Retribution Tour is very specific about which Americans they Target.  He is NOT, nor does he want to be, or ever will be, everyone's President and Represent all Americans.  He won't even Pretend to, if you're a Democrat, an Independent, Liberal Left Leaning or Moderate, a True Republican Conservative, a Woman, a Person of Color, Gay, Poor, Disabled, an Immigrant whether Legally here or not, any Religion except a Christian White Nationalist or Evangelical White Brand of Religion, stand for Democracy and Values... well, you're "The Enemy" and not a Patriot, from how he tells it.  And the "Extreme" Religious just LOVE that about him.

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How was that for an Information Dump? Winks... Dawn... The Bohemian