Well, the HUMANA Home Nurse to do our Annual Evals for both The Man and I never showed up between 8:00-Noon on Monday like they said they would. Didn't call either, so I stayed in all Morning for nothing, which made me mad. I have lots to coordinate and hold Time Slots open when it's already booked and scheduled, plus, I don't like wasting my Time. I'm not that pleased with HUMANA overall, I'd of preferred not being dropped by United Healthcare, never had problems with them as a Provider. But, they targeted Maricopa County Veterans to drop coverage of in 2026. Now White John the OT is coming at 2:00 for The Man, so, I'll just be Home all damned day. At least he always shows up exactly when he says he will. Tomorrow we have VA Nurse Remi at 10:00 a.m. and PT Asian Paul at 3:00 p.m. for The Man, they too are punctual. He's making such good progress that he only has OT thru this Week and then he's Released, I don't know about PT yet, I'll let Paul tell us what he thinks.
I don't know if longer time Readers remember a Post some Days back where I had ordered a T-Shirt from some Obscure Online Seller and wasn't sure it was legit? {Their Online Image Above} I should have checked it's Reviews first, but didn't, and when I saw Reviews were dismal, thought, oh shit, I just got Scammed, there's a Lesson Learned. I probably won't even receive what I Paid for!? Usually I only Buy Online from E-Bay, a couple times on Etsy, or Brands that are well known and Sell their Merch, so have a Trusted site. Well, lo and behold my T-Shirt arrived Today and exceeded my expectations in Quality, the Graphics were Two sided, which was a nice Surprise, the Size was running Smaller per Reviews but I'd deliberately ordered a very large size, so it's Fine too and will fit well. So, I wasn't Scammed after all. *Whew* Sometimes you have a Happy Ending and this was one, so, Color me Happy. I still will probably not order from obscure Companies tho', I can't and won't usually take the Risk. But, Positive Retail Therapy is Uplifting. *Winks*
Above is my Welsh Cousin's Daughter, she looks a lot like I did at that Age, more than my own Kids look like me. *Smiles* So, it's been Negative News to report {A Healthcare No Show}, and Positive News to report {Not Scammed and a Positive Purchase Experience}, all in One Post this day. I feel better Today and think Sunday was just a "Recovery" Day from doing too much on Saturday. I have to remember that I'm still Recovering from that UTI and whatever else might be Wrong with me, still on strong Antibiotics, and that can impact how I feel overall as my Body tries to adjust and Heal. I've really needed to Nap a LOT and yet I do still feel very worn out and tired. So, I know my Body is still not at 100% function right now. I'm resting when I just feel the Need to rest and be gentle with my Recovery by taking whatever time I require to Heal. I tell the Family, I just need to take some time for myself, I don't feel good yet. The Man got a bit cross and testy, which isn't unusual with Dementia, they get impatient if they don't get their way or a response immediately to a request. So, I had to put him in Check for his raised angry Voice not being "Nice" and not being necessary either.
The Grandson was present and looked at me with concern in his expression, he wasn't sure how that would go over, with Grandpa being so Unlovely to me when I was only giving him his Medications and trying to get Breakfast made simultaneously. He heard his Grandpa yell at me and thought, Oh No, Gramma's now gonna lose her shit with him being that ungrateful for what she's trying to do for him and being confrontational unnecessarily! He backed down and got compliant immediately once he instantly realized now he would be confronted with Dark Dawn responding to his little tirade of disrespect and inconsideration. Ruh Roh! *Winks* Even a very nice Pit Bull, if you start to act like a Threat/Adversary towards it, is gonna remind you it's very poor judgment on your part. *Smiles* I reminded him he doesn't need to Yell angrily at anyone whose just doing Caregiving FOR him. This is precisely why he wouldn't do well in a Long Term Care Situation with people who aren't Relationally Invested in him and don't like difficult Residents who make their job harder.
We had that problem with him whenever he was recovering from his TBI, Staff and Management would say he was too high maintenance and unlovely, too non-compliant and combative, too high cost to have in their Facility. He was a liability to them so they wouldn't even take him. Home Help sent back then would quit after just one Visit and refuse to come back. So, it's a big improvement that he Likes Nurse Remi and she's like a Stern 2nd Wife {LOL, she is, it's hilarious, she will scold him in a very Loving way about whatever he's being difficult about and not in his best interest}. And he Likes his OT and PT Young Men who come to our Home to do his Exercises with them. Coz if he doesn't wanna cooperate he can be a handful and a real Old Bastard. And with his Military Training, that can become dangerous or even deadly if he loses control or detaches completely from Reality and starts Imagining everything and everyone is a Threat. So, I have to Monitor that closely and keep him In Check as one of his Safety Prompts.
I don't and won't put up with it, he knows this about me, he's had almost Four Decades to get that Straight in his Head. And no matter how Addled he is, it's best he doesn't have Memory Care Issues about how I will ALWAYS respond to inappropriate Behavior and the consequences thereof. Don't become Threatening or Angry to the point you lose Control around me or the Kiddos, that's non-negotiable and he knows it without a Shadow of a Doubt. I know he's impaired, I acknowledge what it's doing to his poor Brain, this progressive Disease that has no Cure. He already had Traumatic Brain Injury, now the Age Related Cognitive Decline is adding complexities to his Caregiving. Behavior Tolerated is Behavior Accepted and there's NEVER a Good Excuse for Bad Behavior. We're trying to Modify his Behavior and Outbursts, so we can Manage his Care. I had to do it with our Mom due to her Dementia, she could get Physical and Assault you near The End. She looked like a Sweet harmless lil Old Lady but she could fuck you up if you got in too close when she Went Off Rails!
Speaking of someone not appropriately being Managed by his Handlers as he spirals downwards Cognitively, Donnie Two Dolls Stormed Off an Interview when a Female Journalist did some proper Journalism and pressed him about his Lies about Stolen Rigged Elections he has never presented PROOF or EVIDENCE of. He melted down coz he's been living in a Fact Free Zone and nobody has been confronting him about his Lies and Bullshit, and he can't handle it when someone does, so he runs away. He's used to Ass Kissers and Yes-People who Bend the Knee and Kiss the Ring so just let him say the most outrageous bullshit without Calling him Out on it. When he is Called Out, or confronted with what he said before and how he's saying the complete opposite now, he can't handle the Truth or Reality anymore and it's obvious he's diminished so much now cognitively, he behaves like he's got full blown end stage Dementia and is either completely delusional, or very potentially violent and totally Unlovely towards anyone he can't Cope with. This is not Presidential Behavior, makes one Wonder how his "Calls and Negotiations" go, if he flies off the handle so easily and melts down so completely?
The Man will sometimes Melt Down completely about things that would be for his own Good. Like keeping his Legs elevated when they're swelling, until his Lasix is working to ensure his Skin doesn't split open again so that he's require Wound Care again! He's Diabetic, he can't afford open Wounds or he could lose his limbs if they get infected or don't Heal. Every time I leave the damned Room he's in, I swear he tries to get away with not Elevating his damned Legs/Feet again!!! I'll walk back in and say, "Honey do you have your Legs Elevated? NO, NO you don't! Now get them back up so you reduce your Swelling and don't have your Skin splitting again! Do you want to Lose your Feet or Legs?!" He'll get grumpy about it, and a bit pissy, but I insist, coz I'm the Caregiver. So when he makes himself worse the consequences fall upon all of us and me in particular. I'm not having that.
If it gets to the place where I can't look after him in the Home... we have a huge Problem finding or affording alternative Placement for him. I'm already spread as thin as I can be, I don't need him compounding that level of Care that could be avoided or delayed. So, yep, I go on the Warpath with him at times. *Winks* I Love him with all my Heart, but there are some things I can't do FOR him, he has to do it for himself, he has to put in the Work and be compliant, or he won't get the best results. Thus, we all won't get the best results and then everyone suffers for that nonsense he's putting everyone through by being difficult. Everyone gets put at risk, and I've got to think about more than just One Person here, the impact to me, our Kids, our Grandkids, is very Real and very critical as his Illnesses and deterioration progresses. Some of it we can't prevent, but some of it we can, or delay and slow down to make Quality of Life for all of us better.
I think that The Daughter has been staying away coz she was finding it really difficult to deal with and cope with her Dad's deterioration Physically and Mentally/Emotionally. It is hard to Lose a Loved One in Layers. And it was a lot to put on her to Help as much as she had been. I knew that, she knew that, but each person, regardless of our Individual Conditions, and hers is Schizophrenia, has to do the best we can with what we have and the Hand Dealt us. The Son and The G-Kid Force do get angry that she bailed on the Family, but I could tell it was too much for her and at times it's too much for all of us. You have to acknowledge that Reality too. The Son was ready to check himself into a Rehab the other day for Mental Health coz he felt like he wasn't Coping at all and had too much he was attempting to do around here.
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But, he didn't wanna lose his new Job, after having been Unemployed for Six Months, so he didn't go... but he probably could have benefit from it and some Hospitalization. He's worried I'll have Caregiver Burnout again... which once put me in Psyche Lockdown for a Week before and a near Death Experience. I know how it feels when Hopelessness and Caregiver Fatigue overcomes you and the only way out seems to just hurry up and Die, becoz there is no "Happy Ending" and the Cavalry ain't coming either. So, I don't want any of my Kiddos hitting that Wall, so if they Need any Time Away, I told them, Take It if you Need it. I don't want anyone in the Family cracking up under the Pressure of taking Care of either The Man or I, they got their whole Lives ahead of them. Of coarse these are scary times for all Younger Generations, they aren't able to make it without assistance in most cases now. Shelter isn't affordable, Healthcare isn't affordable, Nutrition is often not affordable, Income/Salary isn't sufficient to Exist and Buy the Essentials!!! I worry about the Future of our Young People... all of them. The American Dream is fast becoming a Nightmare.
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Hang Tough my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian
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