I only just found out thru a Memorial Page of FB that another Dear Lifelong Friend passed away, my High School Friend Collette, after battling a Six Month Illness. She was Survived by her Two Younger Sisters, some Nieces and Nephews, and her only Child, a Daughter, she had no Grandchildren. Her Daughter is part of the LGBTQ+ Community and Married what appears to be a Trans Man. I don't know if Collette was Divorced, or if her Husband Died before her, he wasn't mentioned in the Obituary, and she's got her Maiden Name being used, so I can only speculate. She never moved from Denver, but we lost touch over the Years, mostly due to me moving so often and then of coarse everyone stopped sending Letters and Cards as Time went on. She worked for the Federal Government for 40 Years in the Defense Department and her Dad was Career Military and was Black and Native American, her Mom was Chinese and White. So most of us Interracial, Intercultural and Minority Ethnic Military Kids stuck together. She'd check all the Race Boxes when we were in School and they'd insist on knowing Ethnicity and get Mad at us for not choosing just ONE as our Identity and denying everything else you are. *LOL & Eye Roll*
Collette looked Polynesian so most folks would ask if she was Samoan or from Fiji. *LOL* She looked the same as she'd always looked, she was Ageless and such a Beautiful Person, inside and out. She was Introverted and I was Extroverted, so we were Yin and Yang. We were so close in High School when Stationed in Great Britain, she had been born over there too, in Liverpool. I think her Mom was Born in England to a White British Father and a Chinese Mother. So she had extended Family in Liverpool which is just across the River Dee from my Mom's Hometown of Flint in North Wales. So we had that in common, that our British Moms had Married American G.I.'s of Color. And then our Families after that Tour of Duty at Lakenheath and Mildenhall AFB's as their very last Overseas Tour, went back to the United States. Her Family to Colorado and my Family to Arizona. We kept in touch for many, many Years when our Kids were little.
I'm saddened to hear of her Passing and that it was a long Illness she bravely lost the Battle of. She had Married an Immigrant from Africa, so she had a Married African Surname I couldn't ever Pronounce. *LOL* She doted on her Only Child. Her Daughter looks like her Mom, only is much Darker, Collette joked that she'd Married a "Brother Darkness" so that her Kid wouldn't have as much of an Identity Crisis as she'd always had to endure. I understood that dilemma, since if you look a certain kind of way when you're Mixed Race, you aren't always embraced by any of the Races you're a blend of. And you get do get tired of folks asking "What are you?", or making incorrect Assumptions and then getting upset that they Assumed incorrectly. You get more Mature and you don't Care as much, but in Childhood it could be rough. So Collette and I had many similar Points of References and Life Experiences due to the unique blend of our Families being different and often not Socially acceptable.
So, The Son is gonna go there with me to pick up said Medical Cabinet, it's not heavy but it has the Glass Door and my Back hurts so he doesn't want me trying to lift anything. So, he'll go to put it in my Truck for me. Here's a Pix of that Medical Training Cadaver Model, on a rolling White Metal Stand it hangs on, Love it, but not at $250. I have one but not the Stand for one. I'm glad that some good Vendors are moving in, but I don't know how they're gonna fare, it's hard to tell, coz even the Best of them sometimes hasn't done as well as the Crap Hawkers there. It's why I haven't gone Full On Me there, I don't know it would Sell with the Demographic coming in? And in a Retail Space you've got to pay attention to what that area's Demographic is Buying or not Buying. Or, even what the average Sale is. Are people spending a lot on single items or just Buying lots of inexpensive items for a bigger Sale Total? There, it's the latter, the higher end Merch is a Hard Sell no matter how Primo and well priced it is. We're not attracting the Heavy Hitters... except for Pokemon People, they'll drop a load of Cash on a single item.
I've seen a Boxed Set of Pokemon command $800 and the Customer not bat an Eyelash about spending that much on it!!! Even the Serious Coin People will balk at the more expensive Coins and spend more time agonizing over whether to drop that kind of Cash on One item. And we do get a lot of Scalpers coming in, we all know it, they Resell what they Buy there coz they have the Client Base who'll pay a Premium more for it. Most do the Shows in places like Vegas for Reselling. LATER: We got my Medical Cabinet, $67.50. So, Color me Happy, Happy, Happy! It wasn't heavy but it got Hot with being Metal. *LOL and Ouch* But we got it Home okay, it barely fit in the Truck Bed coz it's rather tall, it is flat bottom, not on Wheels. We've got it on the Back Porch for right now Cooling Off a little so it won't be too Hot to handle. I decided to put it in our Bedroom and re-organize my Jammie Cache' orderly and accessibly.
I had an Antique Bureau that the Drawer Tracts were all busted on so it no longer had function. I'm keeping some of the Drawers but will use the Carcass of the Bureau as Firewood now. The Daughter and Danae came back to help me with it all, so we got it done right away and I like how everything turned out. I haven't yet put some Collections in the Glass Case part fully yet. I used Vintage Salvaged Milk Crates to organize my Jammie Pants w/T-Shirts I wear all the time around the House and to Sleep in. They are my Go To for just not being outside of the Home so I have a huge assortment of them. The Man's little Bedside Table on his side of the Bed is where he puts his Drink at Night so he doesn't have to get up and risk falling. The stack of Antique Pillows goes on the Bed when it's made, it's not made right now. *Winks* But each little Project of Organizing that gets done to make things more Functional makes me Feel Accomplished and on a Positive Trajectory.
It's not that things have to be Perfect, just Functional, pleasing to look at, and more Organized and in Order. I Hate things to be Messy or Chaotic and Cluttered looking. So long as there's some Order to it and it's Visually Pleasing I don't Care if there's still Too Much of it frankly. I'm prone to Muchness and layers of Beauty don't bother me, but Disorder does and I don't like things to look Messy. I still have to Dust some stuff, we've had so many Dust Storms lately that keeping things Dust Free is practically impossible, so I don't Obsess over it. I want our Home to be Clean enuf to be Healthy but Dirty enuf to be Happy. I'm no Domestic Goddess or Suzy Homemaker, never have been, never will be, it's not my Intention to ever be actually. I doubt on my Deathbed I will be Worried about what I didn't Clean, Wash or Dust. *LOL and Winks*
The little Drawer in the Middle holds some Costume Jewelry and Heat Sensitive Art Supplies that require a Climate Controlled Space for Storage, and the Cabinet you can't see thru on the Bottom holds Clean Washcloths & Pillowcases. That Bottom Cabinet has a Shelf in it, so has Two Shelf Areas to put the Washcloths on one Shelf and the Pillowcases on the other Shelf. The Medical Cabinet fits nicely in that Corner of our Room near the French Doors without obstructing anything but holding and Displaying a lot. Before, that Corner was a Hot Mess and bothering me a lot coz it looked Messy and had Zero actual Function with that Broken Chest of Drawers there, it just collected Clutter, now it won't and we have much more Room now things are in Order and cleaned out. I had a Donation Box almost filled of what we took out of the Drawers that I didn't even wanna Keep, or had sat on the Floor in front of the Furniture in a pile of Stuff that didn't have Placement anywhere.
One entire Drawer had clearly become a Catch-All. And I had been the worst, if only, Offender. The Drawer didn't even run on it's Tract to be able to Open or Close properly, along with a couple of the other Drawers also broken, so was always ajar and just Stuff got stuffed in there like a Packrat might do. *LOL* Now the Family says it looks really Nice and I think it does too. So, we got a lot done Today that I felt was Productive and my Back wasn't hurting so much once I was being Physically very Active. Sometimes a Sore Muscle feels better when you keep using it and that's what this Sore Back evidently needed me to do, so it was tiring to do so much, but it eliminated the Back Pain, which had been really Painful too and now has eased up so it's not a Problem anymore, I'll be just Fine. I'm glad I declined on Working this Weekend's Sale tho', that would have been a Bridge too far.
And boy did I feel like a Bad Gramma, coz I told the whole Family that it was the Young Prince's Birthday Today, which in Real Time is the 8th, and they were confused, and rightly so, his Birthday is the 9th! Ooops! I apologized to him coz the whole Family was Wishing him a Happy Birthday on the Wrong Day and it was my fault. *LOL and Blushes* He laughed and said it was Okay. I transferred some Money to his Saving Account but he said he can't access it from New Mexico, only the Checking Account, which, he didn't listen to me and didn't keep a balance in it so they shut it down. So now he's gotta wait 'til he gets back to Arizona to re-open it and this time keep a balance in it so that it remains Active. Kids. They don't always Listen until what you Warned them about NOT doing and has Negative consequences, happens. *Eye Roll*
Anyway, the Antique Mall was very busy as soon as they opened the Doors at 9:00 a.m., so I suspect this 20% Off Sale will go well. And I need it to coz Sales began Flat for this Pay Period for this 1st Week of it, so the Weekend Sale better bring us up to Speed. Vendors were bringing lots of Fresh Merch in for the Sale, I did too, we'll see what happens? I think it's only Items over $25 that get the 20% Off tho', not sure, if so, then it won't be as good as getting 20% Off everything. Since I didn't know if inexpensive stuff would even be on Sale I bought Three Inexpensive Rosaries I'd had my Eye on coz I didn't wanna risk that they'd get bought. And Two Vintage Dam Trolls from Denmark, one large Bank one, one small Priest one. A couple of Tintype Photos, and a small Shenango Diner mini Creamer with Design, that we use for Pancake Syrup for individual place settings when we make everyone Pancakes.
We got a couple DOMINO'S Pizzas, Stuffed Crust People Pleazer and Meatzza, they weren't on Sale anymore but I didn't Care, I wanted those kind. Princess T and The Son chipped in for the price of them. And that way we didn't have to heat up the Kitchen cooking when it's 114 Outside and Humid. So we all felt drained and nobody felt like cooking. They were so slammed busy that it took 45 Minutes for our Order, but we just waited, they had a full staff at least Today and English Speakers. And they had it ready before the projected time and thanked me for our Patience. Hey, if I don't hafta Cook and Heat up my Kitchen in the Summertime I don't mind waiting a bit. *Smiles* Today has gone so well that this was a nice ending to it actually, so we felt very Chill that the Weekend was going nicely. The Man has been happily watching some Movies, a switch from his usual Rerun Episodes of NCIS, Homestead Rescue or the Food Network. He's watching some of the "Predator" Movies and hasn't been in a great Mood, so we just leave him be when he's easily agitated by anything or everything and everyone. Some Days are like that for him. Whaddya gonna do? Shrugs.
The Son gets Emotional about his Dad's Dementia Moods, it Wrecks him Emotionally to see his Dad be unable to have good Relationships now. I remind him it's not Personal, it's the Disease progression and symptoms. He instantly Yells a lot Angrily if you say anything at all to him, instead of having a regular Normal response to anyone saying anything to him. I have to remind him to use his Inside Voice Volume and Talk to everyone with Civility and Kindness, to be Nice on Purpose. He gets very defensive in response to that chastisement but I don't let him get away with being Unlovely without consequences. So he is like a Kid that just got scolded for doing something they shouldn't that isn't Socially appropriate or tolerable. He'll sulk for a while, but Calm Down and be less agitated or aggressive. This is why I don't have him out in Public as much anymore, I don't know he won't get like that with Strangers, you never know now if he can Mood Regulate Appropriately all of the time, or even some of the time? And not become Hostile.
The Daughter and her Friend Danae have spent all Week cleaning some Old Lady's Home and Property that is a Hoarder and in Cognitive Decline. She has very nice things but hasn't taken Care of any of it, mebbe even can't. So it was really bad and not everything held up to the neglect and just being Hoarded. She gave The Daughter some nice China items to Sell or Keep. China is a tough Sell at the Antique Mall, but it is Quality Bavarian Hand Painted Fine China mostly and some unusual pieces, so, didn't cost her anything but helping the Old Lady out and she got Paid too, so, Win-Win. She likes helping Old People out and so does Danae. So, they were excited to show me what the Old Lady gave them, some pieces were so unique I'd never seen anything like it so will have to Google Lens to even have any idea of Selling Price Point or Value. The Daughter set to Mopping my Floors, Sweeping and doing some Laundry while she's here. So everything smells like Pine Sol and Fabuloso {the Purple Scent, which is Light Lavender and we like a lot}. *Ha ha ha*
Anyway, so, the Day has gone quite well, with the exception of The Man giving everyone Side Eye and Stink Eye for no apparent reason. No telling what's going thru his poor Brain anymore really, so I just keep him Comfortable and Feeling Safe and Secure, which is Calming to him, and to keep his Routine in place, also very Helpful. Like I said in a previous Post, sometimes I get irritated at him and his Behavior if I'm particularly Tired and Overwhelmed, but I do try to be Mindful that he mostly can't Help how he's becoming. Getting to balance what he can still do and be like with what he can't is trial and error for the most part and we Wing It constantly coz nobody in the Medical Profession is the least bit Helpful at assisting Families with Management of this kind of Extreme Caregiving. You are doing it all on The Fly with no real Direction except what Google can give you suggestions of, so I'm Dr. Googling shit about Dementia now all the damned time. To see what's Normal for the progression of the Disease and what's probably not.
Yeah, I went thru it with my Mom, but she lived Independently for much of it and I did her Caregiving from our separate Homes until she reached the point she could no longer live Independently. And until I could get funded Placement for her arrangement, which was like Winning the fucking Lottery!!! That's about how good your chances are if you can't Fund Long Term Care for a Loved One, nobody Cares and they don't just Qualify due to dire or desperate Need of Long Term Care. We literally had to liquidate assets for each Parent before they even marginally Qualified for ANY Long Term Care beyond 21 Days Medicare only allows, and only in select Facilities that take Medicare Residents or Veterans. A lot of the Faith Based Non-Profits really only take folks who can Buy-In, they don't take the Poor.
I doubt you'd find any Poor among the Residents in any of them frankly. Or people of Color for that matter. Every higher quality Facility I Toured had only the more well off White Residents. The only Lower Income or folks of Color were the Staff at those Facilities from my Observations. Or Retired Military Officers, not Enlisted Military Retirees and Veterans. One would assume the Faith Based Non-Profits would have a fair share of Charity Cases among their Residents to be truly all about The Lord's Work... Love of Jesus in Action and all that... but... Yeah, No. If you can't Afford to be there, you will NOT be there. And when they start Deporting all of the Immigrants that provide most of the Staffing at all of these Facilities, don't expect Americans to vie for those Thankless Positions to Care for our most Vulnerable and Elderly.
At the Facilities here in Arizona and in Cali where my Brother lives, the majority of the Staff are Immigrants from other Countries, not Americans. Stats say it's around 30% Nationwide, I doubt that to be accurate frankly. Not even only 30% of our Doctors, Specialists and Nurses are Americans anymore. So, there would be a huge Void in Medical Care, and our Food Chain Industries alone, if they didn't appreciate how much Service in all Industries the Immigrant Populations actually perform and provide our Country. I for one am Thankful, so I get Frosty when someone insinuates Immigrants are only doing Negative things to America and contributing nothing of importance. You'd have to be "New" and don't get out much to not Observe otherwise how false those claims are. I'm weary of the Scapegoating, Racism, and Xenophobia that has escalated and is out of control now. It's Ugly and Cruelty coupled with complete disregard for Humanity and the Sanctity of Life, seems to be the Point.
Same folks who pretend to be so "Pro Life" might claim to be all about The Children, so long as it's still a Fetus and requires nothing of them, but not once it's Born, and not for the next 18 Years of it being a Child with Needs. And not in Support of the Families Raising said Children they pretend they Cared so much about BEFORE they were Born. This Government is cutting Funding for all Social Services and Education for The Children, and so many "Pro Lifer" types seem perfectly Fine Supporting that, if it saves them a Buck. So, tell me, how is that "Pro Life" at all, really? We used to do Ministry and Volunteer Work for "Crisis Nursery" and all those Folks that would spend Countless Hours Picketing Abortion Clinics, one would think would be fertile ground to get Volunteers for Abused and Neglected Children already Born, Right?
Yeah, NO, it was not, never got a Single fucking Volunteer out of the "Right To Lifer" Crowd. Coz then it would require them Investing something in an actual Child already Born. And one in desperate Need or in Crisis, that they could Walk The Walk of what they profess to Believe and Spout Off about in Talk only, and walking around with Signs. They wanna force the Women to bear these Children that they themselves could give a fuck about once it's Born, coz they wouldn't Help that Mother or that Child, Truth be told. They'd probably be the loudest at vilifying the Recipients of any Social Services being needed and received by those Families that didn't chose Abortion. Now, don't get me Wrong, I Wish no Child would ever be Aborted. I am Pro Life but I'm also Pro Choice, they're not Mutually Exclusive. Becoz it's not MY difficult decision to ever make for someone else and their Situation, Circumstances, or the next 18 Years it would require to Raise said Child for whoever will end up doing it and providing everything that Child will require until it's Grown.
I know how little Help I got in the Raising of Two of our Grandchildren that required alternative Parenting due to their set of Circumstances. It's not like any Pro Lifers ever stepped up to say, oh, if you're not Qualifying for Services Needed, what can we do to be of Help? Yeah, that's not happening. I know many Custodial Grandparents and Kinship Placement Families, I even know some Custodial Great-Grandparents. Not once has any of them said they got any more Help than we did, so I didn't feel Singled Out at all, it's just how it is. What is parsed out sparingly, you really have to go Hard to try to Qualify for and receive. It's like when someone goes Missing, depending on the Demographic of who goes Missing, we all know which Cases get the most Attention and the coverage of the Media and Society.
Think Gabby Petito as an Example, what did she LOOK like? Yeah, that would be the Demographic getting the most Attention and coverage, the most Interest of Media Coverage and Society giving a shit. We have a Human Value System in America... and either you Rate as a Human Being... or you fucking don't. And it's not becoz you're not of the Human Species. And any Life shouldn't be any less or more Precious than another. And we're going backwards and devolving in this Country and watching it go in that direction is deeply disturbing. Especially how many are on Board and want it going in that disgusting and shameful direction. Yet, will profess to be "Good" People. Or someone will try to convince me they are... but, frankly, there's nothing "Good" about it. Rant Over... now I Feel a bit less Emotionally Raw and Militantly Ranty... and just saying out loud what some folks would prefer not be said at all, as if somehow that makes it not so Real and in their Face to be confronted with the Reality of. I will always choose making Good Trouble over Silence about Injustices and being on the Side of or in Support of the Oppressors.
Dawn... The Bohemian
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