Stay Tuned For The Ongoing Sagas And Some Gallow's Humor

 Well, things went interestingly, in a Word.  First the Power went down, for several City Blocks and was out for Hours just before I left for the Airport and before Allen's Dad and Grandpa arrived!   SRP claimed Equipment Failure.  Splendid, it was already getting dusk and I thought if it didn't come back up we'd be unloading everything in the Dark by Moonlight!?   Then, the flight from Denver was 30 Minutes late.  The flight from New Mexico had been an Hour late so he almost missed his connection flight and had to rush, making it with only 15 Minutes to spare!  The Plane from New Mexico had a problem with a Wing!!!  Yikes, you need Wings to fly, so that gave The Grandson a Panic Attack!!!

Then, the Plane from Denver also had a mechanical problem, so, he had another Panic Attack!  If your Planes are getting last Minute Repairs on the Runway just before Takeoff, it doesn't instill confidence that things are gonna be Safe and not an Air Disaster waiting to happen!   Plus Weather had come in at both other States, luckily in Phoenix it was still balmy and clear, with lows only in the 60's Tonight.  *Whew*  By the time we finally got Home Allen's folks were already here unloading.  They had a full size Truck with the Bed of it full and a small U-Haul Trailer packed solid, it was a lot more stuff than he'd moved to New Mexico with!!!  Most Boxes were too heavy for me to move so Mando moved them all with the Dad and Grandpa.  

The Son didn't even know they were here coz they never came inside and said they'd eaten just before coming over, so just wanted to get it all off loaded and go to the Motel.  They'd left Texas at 4:00 a.m. this Morning, so it had been a very long Day for them.  His Dad had Jenga all the stuff amazingly in the Truck and small U-Haul like The Man would have, excellent Packing ability.  The Grandpa was very sweet and nice, as I knew he would be, they both hugged me, but I could tell the whole thing is very awkward for them.  They knew we'd appreciated them bankrolling it all and getting all of it and him here, but, they wanted to just quickly depart and keep it Cordial.  Perhaps that's for the best.

The Young Prince had given me a Clue and a Heads Up saying that Allen's Family only agreed to Bankroll and Arrange this whole thing on One Condition the Boys had to Agree to.  They aren't to have any more contact with each other!  Well, they want to have contact and be Friendly, but they agreed, to get this done, but I don't think either one of them meant it and that bothers me a lot.  Coz, I feel they took advantage of the Parents and Grandparents by Agreeing to something they don't intend to Honor.  I know why his Family made that stipulation, they see that the Relationship has gone Toxic and Co-Dependent in an Unhealthy way, so they should sever ties and just move on.

I just don't know that they will and since both Guys have Serious Mental Health Issues it's like keeping Moths away from Flames really, not perhaps realistic to expect compliance?   I will talk to our Grandson about it, but they're both Grown and I can't dictate how they behave.  But I too don't want any more Drama and a Headache, it's too much for everyone else involved and Families can't keep bailing them out.  You can't keep bailing anyone out of Situations they keep falling right back into.   Like I've said before, you can get the Persons out of the Mess, but if you don't get the Mess out of the Persons, they fall right back into it.  Right now isn't the Timing to go Deep into those Weeds with him, probably not Allen either... but it will Need to be said.

I'm not having a Yo-Yo Effect and him bouncing back and forth with an Ex who lives in a whole other State.  I'm not funding anything like that and I know Allen's Family and probably not even Bobby will either.  The Young Prince was crying all the way Home and pretty sure he called Allen to let him know he arrived Safely and so did the Dad and Grandpa, which, is courteous and I didn't mind that.  But I think his Family would just like a complete severance from Dealing with any more of this and I don't blame them, I want a complete severance from Dealing with any more of it as well, as does my Family, it's exhausting to Deal with extended Family's Drama and Headaches.

Anyway, so I have lots of Chicken left coz they wouldn't let us send them away with any.  I don't think they were Hungry, just Exhausted.  The Grandpa is in remarkable Shape for his Age and the Dad is a big Man, they had everything unloaded and moved to where we wanted it in no time with just Mando's Help.  The Daughter and I carried plastic Garbage Bags filled with Clothing and soft items, a Suitcase, and some smaller Boxes, but the Three Guys did the rest.   The Son's Girlfriend was over here, but like I said, they didn't even know anyone had arrived back Home coz nobody said anything to them.  The Son is helping his Nephew move a couple things now that needed to be moved to The RV Garage Mahal coz we did run out of Space to stack Boxes in The Art Studio and leave a Safe Pathway to the Outside Exit Door.  I didn't want that blocked.

The Daughter had cleared out Aisles in The RV Garage Mahal in preparation for Boxes of his things needing to be temporarily stacked in there quickly after being offloaded.  We had no idea how much he was arriving with, it was more than we anticipated, but he claims a lot of it is much larger Boxes than what's inside of them.  The only thing he left was his Living Plants and plans to go back to get them this Summer???  That would violate the Agreement, so I don't know about all of that, but won't go to The Mat about it right now while Emotions are so Raw and Fresh from the Breakup being Finalized.  He felt badly that almost everything was his and Allen only had an empty House with a TV, Bed and Chair, which just looked Sad.   He'd Bought everything his Husband has, he's been financially responsible and generous, and hard working.  I often think, what would my Parents have thought about Allen?  I think they would have felt he had Good and the Best of Intentions that didn't work out coz he was in way over his Head. 

My Mom was SMI and after 36 Years of Marriage, my Dad told me he just couldn't do it anymore, and he was a Strong and Good Man.   Love had nothing to do with it, I'm convinced there was still Love, and he Supported her Financially the rest of her Life, providing even after his own Death.  I do Believe the fact our Grandson cannot Work and requires a Full Time Caregiver for Life, Allen's Family realize that is burdensome to their Grandson. Too big a commitment for someone in their 20's, and no way he can manage that for a Lifetime and would Negatively impact his Life and Future.   I Agree, it does and would, at some point he'd Burnout, if he hasn't already and what has triggered all of this.  When someone has a permanent Disability that requires Full Time Care, it is not an easy Row to Hoe and if there's no Cure and won't be any improvement, it's Forever and Ever 'til one of you eventually Dies.  Sometimes it's the Caregiver that precedes the Loved One being Cared for, coz Caregiving exacts a heavy toll all of the time.  

There are Marriages of Two Healthy People that can't be Sustained when they are Dealt the Hand of a Seriously Disabled or very Ill Child that will never be Well.   Most people I know who have a Child or Children with Special Needs, don't end up staying together due to the Strain... and often the expense too.   The same with a Chronically or Permanently Ill Spouse.  You miss a lot of Work so it can affect your Employment and like in my Case, sometimes you must simply give up the Career/Job to become a Full Time Unpaid Caregiver if the Loved One has no coverage in our absence and cannot be left alone now.  Allen was leaving The Young Prince alone while he Worked long Hours and often missed Work due to any deterioration, that wasn't working out for either of them very well. 

  I know I juggled a Career for Years while also trying to be a Full Time Caregiver, I couldn't manage it either.  Something had to Give, it ended up being my Career and then nobody was Working anymore.   Losing my Income was Huge since I made more Money than The Man and had the better Medical Benefits.   I lost 60% of my Retirement by having to Retire only Four Years too Early, coz how they calculated Vested Interest based on Years and your Age upon Retirement, whether a premature one or not.   And he had to be Medically Retired too, so that dropped his Income to 66% of what it used to be, now having a Disability and Retirement Pension Income instead.  Combined that meant about half of what we had been Earning and would now be Living on, with his Medical Expenses skyrocketing and our remaining Insurances, all only his now Covering us, not covering it all.

His Medical Bills for just his Catastrophic Accident were just shy of a Million Dollars in just 10 Months!!!   He had Eleven Surgeries as well that were Major ones and not 100% covered either.   AND I'd Inherited the Two Grandkids to Raise as a Kinship Placement with each Birth and it was all on our Dime to Support them.  The State only provided their Medical and Dental, since both were Special Needs Kids and Wards of the State.   Kinship placements don't get Paid like Foster Parents do, you're considered Volunteers becoz you are 'Family'.   Raising Children has never been inexpensive, so now we had Two to Raise, with me having no Income until I reached Retirement Age to collect my Social Security and 60% reduced DA's Pension... and The Man making 66% of what he used to.  It was quite the Transition.  So I understand how Sacrificial it all can be with even the best of Intentions to do Right by someone you Love.  And even when Family is Everything.

I do think the Grandsons Love one another, it's just Too Much for both of them and they simply cannot adequately Manage it for a Lifetime, so Divorce was really gonna only be the eventual Outcome IMO.   I always knew that our Grandson would likely become our Lifetime responsibility again and not any Spouse he might have.   It worked for a few Years until it just didn't anymore, and they did their best, and it just wasn't Enough.  I don't even place any actual Blame on either one of them and I kinda felt The Grandpa didn't either, he realizes they can only be Supportive of their Grandchild, and that's all they can continue to do and have always done apparently.  

They know he's got Special Needs too and that very likely, he's always gonna struggle Relationally due to the level of Autism alone... let alone his Anger Management Issues and detachment sometimes from Reality.  He's very Intelligent, but not very Grounded.   Our Grandson also has a Genius IQ, but also, not very Grounded and is detached from Reality much of the time and Emotionally very Fragile.   He gets Hopeless a lot and swings between the various Alters at an accelerated pace sometimes and so you're Dealing with Seven different distinct Personalities, all of which has Dissociative Identity Disorder/Borderline Personality Disorder.

  If you ever saw the Salley Fields and Joanne Woodward Movie called "Sybil" {1976} which was based on the True Life Story of Shirley Ardell Mason, who had Dissociative Identity Disorder, then called Multiple Personality Disorder, you'll understand how complex a condition it is.  Sybil had 16 distinct Personalities.  Our Grandson has 7, his Mom has 4.  Childhood Trauma of some kind is usually what causes the splits in Personality.  I don't know that Sybil had Schizophrenia too?   It's so hard to take Care of someone with these Conditions and have them maintain a Quality of Life that is Normalized at least somewhat.   I know it's gonna be hard transitioning back to him Living here, it always has been hard. 

 We can only do what we can do and know how risky his behaviors can be to himself.  So, you try to keep them Safe when their decision making is Poor and their Lifestyle Choices are sometimes destructive and not well thought out.   The Daughter didn't Live with us for over 25+ Years when her Condition was at it's worst, she Survived a lot of things, and we always Worried about her of coarse.  She has a Point of Reference to what her Son is going thru, coz her Teens thru her 30's were her most difficult Years of being Tormented by these Illnesses/Conditions too.  She keeps in Touch with all the people who helped her along all those Years and accepted her as she just is... most of them belong to The Streets as well in one way or another.   

So, the Journey Begins again and I'm sure I'll have much to Blog about it off and on.  Tonight it's been like Months packed into a Single Day, quite Emotionally and Physically Exhausting, but everyone is now Home Safe and Winding Down for the Night.  *Whew*  It's a Motley Crew over here at Forever Boheme' and each Day is a New Adventure.  So, Stay Tuned for the Ongoing Sagas.  *LOL*   It's a Wonder my Hair hasn't turned prematurely Grey... instead of just turning Lighter Brown!  *Ha ha ha*  Some Days I Cope better than others, it varies Wildly, depending upon the Usual Suspects.  *Winks*   Some days I do feel like tearing my Hair out, I ain't gonna Lie!!!

The Daughter's Friend Marcos in Mexico had me laughing tho', knowing I think America is Finished now and the Midterms will be the coup de grace of it all this November.  So he went into a Political Satire Skit that was fucking hilarious, I couldn't help but Laugh, even tho' he had valid Points and I know where he stands Politically.  Now, you gotta have the sound of his skit, he sounds exactly like Cheech Marin of Cheech and Chong, which makes it even funnier.  Okay so here it goes and if you don't like Dark Satirical Political Humor, or have a Sic sense of Humor, this won't be for you.  *Winks*

  He said he's thinking of being the Founder and Executive Director of "The White Lives Matter" Movement!!!   *Bwahahaha*  Coz, now that they're even killing White folks in the Streets of America, it definitely ain't Safe anymore for anyone.  He told The Grandson {we were on Speaker Phone in the Truck} to LOOK more like the Latino Man that he is and not so White, coz it's not Safe to be White anymore.  Especially not a White Woman, so don't look so much like a Woman either.   Coz it's hard to be a White Woman in America right now.  *LMAOROTF*

And since you're part Puerto Rican Mijo, I know you must have a Big Dick, so hang that out as Evidence that you're not actually White or a Woman.  *LMAOROTF and my Sides were hurting by now!*  The Grandson by now is laughing his Ass off too, he'd been Crying before, but he couldn't NOT Laugh at this brilliant Satirical Comedy, Marcos missed his Calling as a Standup Comedian!   Then he tells us when we all get rounded up and Deported by ICE, just make sure it's to Mexico, and not South America, The Middle East, Russia or Africa, coz he'll take care of us.   And his "White Lives Matter" Movement will have taken up enough momentum by then to Save all the displaced White Americans that weren't "Making America Great Again"!!!   Coz he knows they're coming for them now too.  *LOL*

  He knows The Daughter and I are Racial Blends, so he said we have to also "Go Undercover" now and not look so White.   You gotta look more Indian Mom, and she has to look more Chinese, or whatever Asian shit she is blended with.  *Bwahahahaha*  Coz The Daughter still looks too Weta, he said, and ICE is gonna get all Mixed up trying to figure out what our Family even IS?!   Speak more Spanish now Weta, he says, or if you're speaking English, do it with a Chicana Accent. {That's what everyone in Mexico calls her affectionately, Weta was his Nickname there.}  *By now I'm almost pissing myself with Laughter*

But Satirical Comedy aside, I do think America is Finished and by the Midterms in November... it's likely to explode and erupt into some really hairy shit and boil over.   I got my Family in Survival Mode coz I see it coming and there's nothing gonna Stop it, so it's just gonna play out as it will.   The Man told me his Strategy, he's been in enuf Combat Situations to go straight into Survival Mode and said you do whatever you have to do to stay Alive and Protect yourself and Yours, that's all he expects to do, no more, no less.   And then he did his own Chris Farley skit about, well, if it comes to living in a Van Down By The River, that's just what we'll do Honey.  Okay, so that shit's Funny and he knows this Old Hippie could and would actually DO that if it became necessary, so, in the Words of Bob Marley, Every Little Thing's Gonna Be Alright. 

*******

We are Indelibly Stamped as what we just are... Dawn... The Bohemian

Weddings And In-Laws And Grandson, Oh My!!! Lots To Unpack!!!

 The Young Prince called early to let us have a Heads Up that Allen's Grandpa and Dad should be arriving before he does Today.  He's got a long Layover in Denver again and hasn't arrived there yet, hopes the Weather in Denver doesn't delay or cancel Flights further?   Google says 57 and Sunny, which is actually Warmer than Phoenix is Today, it's 49 and Sunny here.  You just can't predict Weather much anymore due to Climate Changes, but I'm glad he's not having Flight cancellation issues.  He told me he only is bringing Two pieces of Furniture and the rest is Smalls in larger Boxes with lots of padding to keep it from having breakage.  I'm relieved to hear that.  I'm sure most is his Art and he left everything else with Allen to try to make it a more amicable breakup on his part.

When Allen doesn't have the strain of Full Time Employment coupled with Full Time Caregiving and supporting another Person who cannot Work, he likely will do better too?   It was a Lot from the beginning and I know he Works hard at a demanding Career at the Slaughterhouse, so I won't put all blame on him for what transpired between them.  Having a Healthy Spouse can be Challenging, have one requiring Caregiving magnifies that and Allen has Mental Health challenges as well, so magnify that yet again.  Plus, being a Gay Couple in a very Homophobic Community, now magnify it all yet again. 

  So, he's never liked where they moved to at all and can't wait to leave.  It's not even affordable as a draw now becoz their Rent doubled recently from $600 to $1,200 for a substandard small Cottage Home built in probably the 1930's and in deferred condition.  I saw pixs, it looks very Rural Poor.  And our Grandson says most seem Poorly Educated.  Hostile, Biased and Uneducated Equals potentially volatile and dangerous.   So, he's never felt at all Safe there outside of his Home, so when it felt Unsafe within his own Home too, it became intolerable for him and he was barely hanging on and didn't know quite what to do?  He had no Money and no Friends or other Family there.   I was very Afraid FOR him being Safe, I ain't gonna Lie.  My concerns Elevated considerably as he Opened up more, even tho' he hadn't wanted to Worry or Alarm me... since, he knows I got a Lot going on here.

 Our Grandson said it's not an LGBTQ+ Friendly area, too near the Texas Border to be.   So not one of the more Progressive or Blue portions of New Mexico like some parts might be, or bigger Cities.  It's considered a Blue State, but he said their area leans Extreme Right and Deep Red.  And most of the Community there commute to Texas to find Work and since he's been to Texas as well, he said it seems more like Texas than New Mexico towards him.  

 He can't fly under the Radar like Allen can, The Young Prince is Transgender and Fabulous even when Presenting as Male, he's often still mistaken as being Female, even when he was a Kid.   Since Allen is very Macho and Masculine appearing by contrast, so most people can't tell he's Gay at all, the Military never caught on.  So Allen can live there... and in Texas... plus he has Family in Texas and would prefer to just be there with his Grandparents again.  Which, it may come to that.  He's done Ranch Work with the Animals/Cattle on his Grandparent's Ranch since he was 14, so is a Big Help to them.

Plus Allen is a big, strong Guy, ex Special Forces.   So even tho' he doesn't make a Secret of being Gay anymore, nobody messes with him due to his Sexuality, they figure they'd get their Asses handed to them if they did.  And they'd be right about that.  Whereas The Young Prince has seemed Feminine enuf, and Frail looking, that foolish folks have thought him to be easy to Target for violence.  Forgetting, he's still a Man and had to Learn fast how to be tough, kick Ass and take Names.  He grew up Trans, Seriously Mentally Ill, and Biracial... a Trifecta shitty Hand Dealt, in Da Hood, in a very rough Barrio, need I say more?  He can actually hand Allen his Ass, and has had to, but he's usually Meek, Peace Loving and Kind, and doesn't have a Bad Temper. 

 But can be Triggered, especially when threatened, and a Paranoid Schizophrenic who CAN Fight, isn't someone you want to provoke to a Defensive posture.  When he goes Mental, not many can restrain him or Win that Fight.   Like me tho', he's never started a Fight in his Life, but has ended many with a flourish as well.  We tend to be Harmonious and Peace Loving People until attacked, then it's ON.  And he didn't want it to keep unfolding like that with Allen when he didn't feel Safe together anymore and Allen cannot manage his Anger appropriately.  DV is never a Joke in any Relationship and if you're the Victim of it you NEED to always get out ASAP of that Relationship.  It only ever escalates. 

 And if someone is not in Control of themselves, is prone to putting their Hands on someone in Anger as their first response, and is prone to being and initiating Violence, you cannot Trust them.   The Domestic Violence Bureau of the DA's Office had some of the most habitual Violent Offenders that were Prosecuted for their Crimes, which often were some of the most horrific vicious Crimes too.   And since Allen's Grandpa is a prominent Retired Prosecutor from a very large State, he knows this as well as I do.  It's very likely Why he and his Son-In-Law are doing what they're doing to help our Grandson get back to Arizona with all of his things so that he never has to risk going back?  That's my Take on it, they both seem to be decent, level-headed Men of Honor and Integrity.  I really Liked Allen's Parents and Sister when I met them, only Good Vibes.

The Grandparents mostly Raised Allen coz he was a Handful due to his Autism and what I suspect is also Bipolar I Condition.  He's very close to his Grandparents, but had been Estranged for many, many Years from his Parents, who couldn't manage him and sustain Relationship either.  It is hard if someone has a high degree of Autism on the Spectrum, Allen has it way worse than The Son, and with The Son a little bit of him could go a long way and most Adults couldn't manage him when he was a mere Child, let alone a Grown and Strong Man.  The Son tho', has never started a Fight, he too has ended any someone else initiated with him, with a flourish too tho'.  *Winks*  The Son can REALLY Fight and has to Hold Back or he knows he could really harm someone, coz he's relentless if he has to Fight and will not Stop and is oblivious to Pain.

So he had Warned Allen a few times here, when he could see Allen's tendencies, Listen, if you ever harm anyone in my Family, I'm Coming for you Fool.   He's very Protective of his Nephew, as The Daughter and I also are of The G-Kid Force.   So Allen knew he'd have at the very least a Trio of us Coming for him.  And that's not Counting The Man, who Allen got kicked out of here for calling me a Bitch in front of The Man, and my Husband took a Swing at him and luckily Allen is well Trained in Hand to Hand Combat too so managed not to be taken down... but it could have gone very badly so I came out and immediately told him he couldn't Live here anymore.  The Name calling was disrespectful and I heard it, tho' he didn't see me when he said it so didn't realize I was close enuf to hear what he said.  *Winks*  It didn't bother me one Iota, Name Calling is Weak and Childish, it doesn't Phase nor Offend me actually.  I've been Called Worse.   :Shrugs:

I simply flew out of The RV Garage Mahal at the time, upon hearing him foolishly say that TO my Husband, "Your Wife is a Bitch..."   Them IS Fighting Words to say to any Man about his Beloved.  And, Ruh Roh, I knew then, Shit's getting Too Real and has hit the Fan, better Referee that Situation STAT.  By then Allen saw me heading straight for him, The Son and The Young Prince were trying to restrain The Man, since they knew Allen has really fucked up in Spades now.   And he was Aware he had, but there was no redemption this time around, it was the last straw, he'd used up all his chances with me.

 I just Calmly then stood Toe to Toe with Allen, within inches of his Face and told him, pretty much, "Listen Boy, I'm not "A" Bitch, I'm "THE" Bitch, and that will be Mrs. Bitch to you Son... now get the Hell outta my Home, you've crossed a Line with my Husband and I, you're no longer Welcome here.  Be Well and Be Gone."   He Cried, his Tears didn't Move me.  The Young Prince Warned him not to piss me off further coz I could go from Calm to Psycho in a Heartbeat, and Grandpa was already provoked to Wrath, so, it was Time for them to just leave.  I put a new Wheel on their Car, helped them load up their stuff, and took them to Breakfast, no Hard Feelings, you just can't be here anymore Allen.  I knew it put The Young Prince in a Spot, but he understood.

And that's how and Why they got kicked out, not becoz of our Grandson doing anything Wrong, but becoz his Husband had Crossed Line after Line of Boundaries clearly outlined and set, non-negotiable ones.  And if you don't stay in your own Lane here, and can't get along and Play Well with Others, you just HAVE to make other Arrangements.  Those are The Rules, even if you're Family.   I felt bad throwing The Young Prince to the Curb too, but they were a Married Couple and we'd tried to live Harmoniously with his Husband, and it just wasn't Working Out here either.  They'd been kicked out of other Arrangements over the Years due to Allen, so, The Young Prince said he was used to it.  He never got kicked out due to anything he ever did or said to anyone... even being a Schizophrenic.  Coz mostly he Isolates and doesn't People very much at all.  And when he can't handle Peopling, he'd rather be Solitary by Choice.

It's not to say Living with a Schizophrenic, or Two of them in our Case, is easy, it is NOT, and each Day can be a New Adventure.  I do not think Allen could handle that with his own Issues going on that he wasn't Managing all that Well either.   He certainly couldn't manage this Arrangement of Multi-Generational Living and knew that coz he got them kicked out of the Hippie Commune they were living at in Washington State too.  Those on the Spectrum of Autism have a difficult time living with other folks as well.  They generally lack a Filter and shit goes straight from their Brains and falls out their Mouths often, with zero Diplomacy or Tact and Propriety.  I know this, so I have Pity for Allen Living with his Diagnosed Condition, it's a Tough Row to Hoe for him... and will be, coz, no Cure exists.  He's pretty High Functional, like The Son is, and tries to integrate into Society as best he can.  I do Wish him Well and his Family.  I'm sure they Worry about him constantly.

Coupled with us having Out Of State Company our Neighbors are Hosting that Wedding of their 65+ Year Old Son to his Preggy 25 Year Old Girlfriend, whose our Friend Amber's Oldest Daughter.  She is the ONLY one not invited to the Wedding!  Ruh Roh.  Which, isn't Right, she's the Bride's Mother and the excuse being used is she doesn't get along with TJ's Mother.  And the ONLY reason that is seems to be that Amber strongly disagreed with Sylvia's Elderly Son getting her Young Daughter, whose also a Vulnerable Adult, Pregnant, not once, but Twice.  And her Daughter is not really fit to be a Parent, TJ allegedly has Stage 4 Cancer and even if he was/is Well, he has Grandchildren almost as Old as this Girl!!!   

And, he's already committed DV against Amber's Daughter while she was Pregnant, to where for a while she split with him and moved in with her Grandparents!  The 40+ Year Age difference, plus is DV History with Anna, his previous Wife, is known by his Parents.  I don't know how they expected her Mother and her Maternal Grandparents and Father to react to all of this?  They Invited Joe, her Dad, to the Wedding, I doubt he will show up, but, you never know, he really is opposed to this and he's the one that Raised their Three Daughters since they were little, due to Amber's level of Disability.  She's a Special Needs Adult herself and a Judge deemed he'd be the more Fit Parent for their Girls and so he got Custody, with his New Wife, when they were little.  He was Career Military, so Amber never got to see much of her Children growing up.

Now they're Grown she's finally a part of their Lives, and they've gotten more exposure to their Maternal Grandparents too.  So, tho' Amber didn't get to Raise them, she's very Protective of them and knows her Ex is too.  So, it's not like anyone on the Girl's Side of the Family is Okay with any of this.  They know, when this all goes Sideways, as it certainly will one way or another, whether TJ Lives or Dies, that Girl won't be capable of Parenting this Child she's having by an Old Man.  She's not Employable, coz she's VERY Special Needs, so she has zero Income and is dependent on whoever she's Living with at the time... be it her Dad, Grandparents or TJ's Parents.  Shit, he's over 65 and HE'S still living with his Octogenarian Parents and Dependent upon them!!!  He's been Married at least Twice before... has Kids, Grandkids, and I don't know how good a Husband or Parent he's ever been?

Now, the only Saving Grace, perhaps, should, Amber and/or her Parents end up with all this responsibility of getting this Child Raised.  And her Mom has Stage 4 Cancer and her Dad is almost 80.  Is, that the Moment this Child is Born he qualifies for Social Security Benefits coz his Paternal Parent is Social Security Aged.  So, at least the Kid should come with a Check and I told Amber to look into that to help Support this Baby, coz TJ doesn't Work, her Daughter isn't Employable, right now they live with and are dependent upon his Parents who are in their Mid-80's now and have their other even Older Special Needs Son, Rob, also living with and dependent upon them.  So, it's a Lot to unpack right there.  I'm glad I had an excuse to decline attending the Wedding when Rob asked this Morning.  The Son, The Man and I don't want to seem Supportive at all about any of it.

I don't Like Amber's Daughter, I don't Respect TJ, and tho' I Like our Neighbors and have no problems with TJ's Brother Rob, and am still Friends with TJ's Ex, Anna, I feel sorry in my Heart for this soon to be Born Child who arrives in March or April.   I just pray it's Born Healthy and has no Issues, but the Odds aren't particularly in Favor of that and Amber is really Worried about that too.  There's some genetically hereditary factors that make it higher risk for it having Special Needs on both sides of it's Family Tree.   Sylvia and Tom seem Well, Fine and in great Shape for their Age, but out of their Three Sons, Two of them have Special Needs.  In Amber's Family she and One of her Three Brothers have Special Needs.   And Two of her Three Daughters have Special Needs.  I wouldn't be Surprised if this Child doesn't end up in Foster Care.

Anyway, that's their Issues of Life to sort out.  I feel badly for Amber and her Family, this is going to be her first Grandchild and she's legitimately worried about it and being blocked out of being even at the Wedding for not reason other than she has spoken Truth about her Concerns to his Family.  I really like Sylvia and Tom, they know how their Son is, but enabling his inappropriate behaviors isn't Helpful at all.  Anna was very good to them and they knew she stuck around and stuck it out only as long as she did becoz of them. 

 She was concerned about their Welfare and was often involved Hands On with Caregiving and taking Care of their Property, so is Rob... but TJ has always been the one whose behaving like a Teen Boy instead of someone whose beyond Grown, he's a Senior now who still hadn't Grown Up or acted like a Grown Up.  He's on his 4th Vehicle, a Jeep this time, the others being repossessed.  He didn't Buy a Family Car even tho' he has a Child coming.   And he does Foolish things like that constantly and doesn't act even close to his Age and lacks any Maturity or sense of Responsibility for his Actions and Decisions or Obligations.

Before he had a drop top Corvette, it got repossessed, then he had a Big full sized Tricked Out Dually Truck, it got repossessed.  And now a Jeep with no Roof... not a type of Vehicle to drive your Newborn around in.  And he wants to go Rat Rodding with it like a Big Kid.  *Eye Roll*  Pretty sure the Parents Paid for all the Vehicles when he couldn't make the Payments, but, eventually they still got repossessed, he's just not financially responsible, has a Gambling Problem, and has to be bailed out numerous times all of the time according to Anna.  She often talked about it all to me like I was a 2nd Mom, when she was Married to him.  I Like Anna a lot, she had no Children by him, but had a Teen Son by her 1st Husband, a good Kid, he didn't Like TJ so wouldn't live with them. I was glad when she finally left TJ, he was abusive.  She was our Daughter's Age, so about 20+ Years his Junior, now he's Traded her in for one 40+ Years his Junior, it's Creepy IMO.

Moving On... I don't like Witnessing anyone's Train Wreck, but I ain't standing on the Tracks either expecting to Stop it.  And once someone is over 18, if they're High Functional "Enough" you cannot make decisions for them if they wanna make Poor ones.  Having Special Needs and impaired Family Members myself, I realize how complicated that can become and how it can spill over into your Life whether you Like it or not.   Today I was gonna distract myself in The She Shed Pricing more Inventory but I already have the Back Seat of my Truck filled with Banana Crates full of it ready to go and won't likely get to the Antique Mall at all Today with everything going on and not knowing when the Company will arrive, or The Young Prince arriving once he knows when he's leaving Denver after the long Layover?   He's expecting to be Home Tonight, but can't tell for sure when Allen's Dad and Grandpa will get here Driving from New Mexico?  I'm glad there's Two of them and not just his Grandpa making such a long Trip.

I don't know if they Rented a U-Haul?  I know they Bankrolled the Flight and getting here with his Stuff and will likely require a Motel/Hotel here and not try a turnaround Marathon Drive.   We simply have no Resources to cover any of it, so it's gracious and generous of Allen's Relatives to do this for our Grandson so he's not Trapped in a Situation he cannot afford to get out of financially.   The Young Prince's Dad had Bankrolled the last Trip here, coz Bobby is just as concerned as we were but he couldn't afford to do it Twice around the Holidays, coz he has a Family and Smaller Children.   Bobby knew it wasn't permanent that time but understood his Son's concerns about moving back unless he felt it would Work Out and be the Right Thing to do, given everyone's circumstances being what they just are.   

He spent a lot of time with his Son during that Visit and I'm sure talked at great length about it all.  His New Wife is very Supportive of our Grandson and they get along great apparently, I haven't met her.  But what I've heard so far from my Grandson, she seems a good match for his Dad and they seem to be supportive of doing what they can for him.  He has a good time anytime he goes over to visit with them and do things with them, they have similar Interests and she's not a lot Older than our Grandson, so, there's that Generational Bond.  Bobby is another one whose gone Younger and Younger with each successive Relationship.  

He and The Daughter were exactly the same Age, only a few Months apart.  Then Angie, he was with a long time and they have a Son and Daughter Together, was much Younger and they were Engaged Forever but never actually got Married.  Now this one is Younger than Angie was.  We all Liked and got along fabulously with Angie and Adored the Kids of coarse.  they consider us their other Grandparents, even tho' there's no Biological Connection to them, we consider them our Grandkids since they are our Grandson's Younger Siblings by another Mother than our Daughter.  It's the same with Siblings of Princess T that her Dad Fathered by other Women, they're still her Siblings and so we consider them Family.

It's dynamic is complicated, but most Modern Family Dynamics are.  The Nuclear Family is no longer Traditionally like it once was and I'm Okay with that.  Family is Family, people can't tell you what constitutes Family to you.   For some folks, even their Biological Family they're not close to and have no Relationship with.   For other folks even Strangers or their Community become their Surrogate Family for lack of having a Biological one.    LATER: Amber came over and is paying The Daughter to Dye and do her Hair coz TJ's Family relented and invited her and her Mom, Rosemary, to the Wedding too.  *Whew*  What swayed them is her Ex, Joe, said to them that he's bringing his Ex-Wife, whose the Mother of his Children, to her Daughter's Wedding.  They Invited him and just assumed he'd bring his New Wife, but had told him he could bring any Guest... and he chose Amber.  I'm Proud of Joe for doing that.

In fact, he told Amber that his Wife isn't getting along with him over this whole Pregnancy of the Oldest that nobody is Okay with coz they foresee he'll end up with the Grandbaby.  So, he told Amber, Listen, it might end up being you and me back Together again to get this Grandchild Raised when it's dumped on us.  I think, he could be Right, but it gives Amber some comfort to know that tho' he doesn't wanna be Raising another Generation of Kids, and his Wife did Raise his Three Kids by Amber, she's not Okay with taking a Grandbaby of his in to Raise too.  Which, is legitimate on her part, but Joe said he could never forsake a Grandchild and have it go to Foster Care of Strangers, he's very Family First and Oriented and was a good Dad, Traditional and Strict with his Girls, they were very Sheltered in fact and naive.  A lot of Sheltered Raised Kids do go Buck Wild once Grown and can make Bad Decisions without Strict Parental interference.  

I am glad she's going, she wanted to and said she will Behave.  *LOL*  I told her she better, coz it's the reason they were hesitant to have her there, so, don't prove them Right.   So, anyway, Amber is here getting her Hair did to look good for Wedding Pixs.  I don't know what Time the Wedding is, they're having it at TJ's Parent's House next door, they have a big Beautiful Back Yard setup, and I'm sure they're having their Church help them with Organizing it, they're devout LDS and the Church Folk are over there every Weekend anyway.  Apparently one of the Uncle's is Officiating, he's Ordained or something.   And due to circumstances, I'm sure it's more a low key affair than a Traditional Wedding and done rather on The Fly before that Baby is Born. 

My 1970's Harvest Colored Tupperware Bowl Trio with Lids arrived Today, they're in Mint Condition for their Age and the Price of them had been so reasonable I thought it was just for the Trio of Lids and not the Bowls too!!!   I've had 99.9% excellent experiences Buying from E-Bay over the Years.   The only Negative Experience I ever had was resolved amicably.  The Seller didn't know what they had and hadn't described it with accuracy, so when it had arrived, Years ago, I wasn't pleased.  It wasn't as described and you couldn't tell by the Pixs that the Quality wasn't there either or the composition of it.  They'd Sold something as an Authentic French Antique Religious Statuary item from Lourdes, that was a Reproduction and Plastic.  

It had looked like Chalkware or a Composite in their Pixs of it.   The Seller refunded me part of my Purchase Price.  I don't think they realized it was a Repop, it happens, I never felt they were being intentionally deceptive and they did resolve it to my satisfaction.  I think I still have the damned thing.  *LOL*  I've bought less items from Etsy, but have had good experiences with those Sellers I have bought from there too.  I did Buy a Special Collectible Published Piece of Magnolia Pearl from Poshmark for my Collection once too, with a good experience.  It's in Robin's first Book and came with the Book too, which, I already had, but now I have a Book that goes with the Bag, showing a full Page Image of it in the Book when she had it at her own Home.  I always liked it in the Book, so Imagine how excited I was to get it Years later!

Some of The Family had Tested me Today as things amplified due to having no ETA for either Allen's Family or The Young Prince.  I figured, since they'd gone out of their way to drive all the way from Texas to New Mexico, load all our Grandsons things, put him on a Plane, and then driving all the way with it all to Arizona, the least I could do is feed them when they get here.  Whenever that is I don't know so I decided upon getting some KFC that would feed Nine People, since it's good Hot or Cold and good reheated too.  I got the last of the Chicken they had at that location, cleaned them out getting a 28 Piece Meal Deal.  *Smiles*  But then Princess T calls early to be picked up from Work and got pissy coz I asked her to meet me Outside, she wanted to Shop.

So she had herself a little Bipolar Diva Princess Moment about that even after I explained I have $100 worth of fucking Chicken from KFC with the Fixins of Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Biscuits, Coleslaw, Corn, Green Beans and Macaroni N Cheese in the Truck!  *Oy Vey and Eye Roll*   So, she's pissy enuf she won't eat, Fine, I don't Care.  *LOL*   And then, The Man started to Act Up too so I put a Lid on that shit right away and firmly told him, I'm not in The Mood, neither of you should Press your Luck!  Sometimes now he just mimics someone else's Mood and he doesn't even know Why?  *Winks*  So, now there's no Trouble in Paradise.  *Snicker*  I Pitied the Fool who kept Acting The Fool and Acting Up!!!

  I think I have more than enuf for Nine I expect to Feed and told everyone, no Extras Today.  People are over here too due to the Wedding next door.  But, I don't have the Money at EOM to get more should this run out.  It's being Saved for the Grandpa, the Dad and Young Prince to have enuf when they arrive.   So, I told all Adult Kiddos, don't EVEN have any of your Friends wandering into that Kitchen hungry, tell them to go Eat at The Wedding.  *LOL*   Pretty sure Sylvia cooked up a Storm and had the Women's Relief Society of her Church bring Food for it too, so nobody needs to be fed over here that is Wedding bound, even if we know them.  *Smiles*  The Young Prince called, his Flight from New Mexico to Denver was an Hour Late, so the long Denver Layover was handy so he didn't miss his Connecting Flight.   He should be Landing here by 6:00 now and they should be here by 7:00 he said.  With Weddings and In-Laws and Grandson, with all his Worldly Possessions... Oh My, it's LOTS to Unpack.

*******

A very busy Saturday in the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian