In Real Time being a Tuesday means getting The Son to Work by 5:00 a.m. and Princess T to Work by 6:00 a.m.. She was telling me the other day she doesn't know if she'll ever Drive coz she gets such intense Anxiety when she's Practiced with Timmy or with Rusty. *Le Sigh and Oh No* I felt that could be a possibility with her and she's been in no Rush to Drive and she's gonna be 21 in September, so I felt she was intentionally holding back learning to and getting a License. She said she has Panic Attacks if other Cars are around and doesn't Feel Safe. She's had her Celica for some time now and Rusty got it completely Road Worthy, so I had expected she might build more confidence. That clearly is not happening and she Confessed it, which is good, at least now I know.
I won't and can't be Mad at her if she doesn't, she has Anxiety Issues that are significant. She starts Crying if they get too bad and why she Vapes MJ to Calm her Nerves just to be around People or out in Public. She'd rather stay secluded in her Room, which is her Safety Cocoon. She had wanted to Drive only becoz it would give the Family an extra Licensed Driver who had no Driving Restrictions. Her Brother and Mom can never Drive due to the extent of their Mental Illness Diagnosis impairing them too much to. Her Uncle has Driving Restrictions in place and so he hasn't Driven now for a few Years. So, I'm the only Driver in the Household of Six People and that is very limiting. Public Transit isn't so good in Metro Phoenix... or that Safe either... Bus Pirates abound who Rob folks taking the Bus System.
And Uber and Lyft Drivers have had some Bad Press about how many Sexual Assaults have happened to their Passengers. Don't know how well they Vet the whole Uber/Lyft Gig Employees or do Background Checks on any of them? So, Princess T simply won't take them and I'm glad, I'd worry for her Safety being a Young, Pretty Woman riding Alone in one. Even The Young Prince, who does take them, said when he's been Presenting as a Female, he's had some Creepy Uber Drivers before. He lets them know he's a Man and can... and will... fuck them up if they try anything. He feels it is the only reason no assault has ever taken place. He's confident had he been a Female he might have been Assaulted by some of the Creepy Perverse Gig Workers who provide Transportation and might be Sexual Predators.
Anyway, so, I will be Uber Mom/Gramma for quite some time I suppose. And both of them Work within Walking distance from Home so it's not far. He Walks to and from Work every so often, usually after Work he doesn't ask me to even pick him up. But I don't want her Walking Alone in the City, ever. Shit, I don't even know if I'd want a Young Woman Walking Alone in the Country these days either, Truth be told. Or any Child Playing Alone Outside, which is a Sad commentary on our Society and how it's devolved and become so Unsafe. And how many Twisted Human Beings are out there and living among us. Since still damned near 30% of our Citizens still Support this Prez and all he's done, it shows the level of their own depravity and lack of a Moral Compass or having a Humanitarian Conscience IMO and what doesn't bother them and should.
What and Who you Support speaks and reveals Volumes about YOU as a person, more than about them. Coz I know what they are made of, now I know what you are made of too. And it's disturbing to me that the percentage is still that High since the Bottom was reached quite some time ago in this Regime's depravity and cruelty, they gone Bottomless in fact, no depths too low to go, clearly. And their Base has gone that far down too in Support of it all. No excuses for them, you cannot justify what should never have any justification becoz its too abhorrent, Criminal, perverse and Twisted to attempt to justify. You can't really have any Conviction expected where none would ever exist with folks like that, so Condemnation is all they deserve then.
And they should be Judged by the Content of their Character, or lack thereof, by Society as a Collective, in a Functional Society anyway that knows Right from Wrong, Good from Evil. If we've become so debased we can't distinguish any of that anymore, we're Screwed and a Lost Cause already. America is at a critical Crossroads about which Path to take and which Stand to make, from my Observations. Time will tell if we take the Right Path and make the Stand we should, and in Time. I'm not even sure yet and convinced we'll get it Right as a Nation, coz the Path shouldn't be so difficult to discern and the Stand should have already been made IMO. Reminds me of those Old Spaghetti Westerns where the Bad Guys come into a Town and terrorize and threaten it.
The Townspeople are all too Cowardly to make a Stand and expect some Lone Sheriff to be their Savior and Solve it for them all by himself and without their United Support or Participation. Defending Democracy is not a Spectator Sport nor something you sit the whole thing out on the Bench for or your Team Loses. So get in the Fucking Game! Don't Forfeit the Game or give the Game away, even if the Game seems rigged already. Which, in our Political System, we all can agree quite a bit of rigging is going on, has gone on, continues to go on. Or we'd certainly have a better Lineup and less funding by Big Donors to rig the Outcomes and whose Playing at the Top Tiers of it all, coz they Own the Whole Team, on both sides usually, and are therefore the Shot Callers. Whose the most Morally Compromised and has been Bought is sometimes difficult to discern, I'll be Fair about that Assessment and long time Observation. But the Above Quote incapsulates how I Feel about those being Neutral in Situations of Injustice.
But, that's how the majority of folks are and we need more Participation by the Masses to be most effective at Positive Change. It can be done, it has been done, but it's all at grave risk right now and too many folks seem ambivalent or indifferent enuf that they do nothing, or too scared or intimidated to say anything either. Their Silence and lack of Action is therefore complicit. Doing and saying Nothing is as much as being on the Wrong Side of History, you've made that Choice with your Silence and Inaction and enabled those causing the Problem by not standing up to it and not Standing For something. And when someone remains quite Neutral I always feel like they could or will switch Sides depending on which seems Safest and Easiest to them to Pretend to be on.
Today The Man sees his VA Doc and we've got to discuss the Meds and how his Cardiologist got so upset about us being told to discontinue the most critical Med he'd put him on. And about having to discontinue Cardiac Rehab and Why. Those are the critical Issues to address while there coz we don't get in to see his Primary at the VA very often, Appointments are parsed out sparingly and I'm actually fine with that coz The Man doesn't like going, but it's necessary in order for the VA to cover all of his Medications. His Primary has to Bless it all regardless of which Civilian Specialists they've sent him to and he's under the Care of. Therein lies the Problem if it's a conflict of Opinions. And there always seems to be conflicting Opinions, especially with what Meds are prescribed and covered. *Le Sigh* The VA is better than TriCare about it tho' and Approves more of the Meds and at No Cost, for now anyway.
But, everything is subject to Change without Notice about Funding for anything anymore. My Meds used to be No Cost until the Base Pharmacy quit carrying or Approving most of them, and now the Cost thru Express Scripts by TriCare is costing me a couple Hundred Plus a Month and going up constantly. If I had no Coverage tho' I'd not be able to afford any of them. So some Coverage is still far better than no Coverage, even tho' Earned Benefits of Military Service have eroded considerably or simply been taken away entirely. But, Listen, either Trust the Civilian Sector Specialists Opinions they're sending you to, or just do everything In-House and Hire VA Specialists instead on the Government's Dime. They won't coz they cut Veteran's Services all the time in spite of Politicians pretending to Support our Vets and Active Duty Personnel along with their Families.
Right now the Alcoholic Racist and totally Unqualified Hegseth is holding up Promotions or Firing Military Personnel with exemplary Service just for being Women or being Black!!! He's Fixated on Testosterone levels of Troops being Screened, and wants Mandatory T-Screening!!! Brawn over Brains, for some very Weird reason. I think he Questions his own Masculinity or something coz the Fixation is very Suspect and extremely Odd about his Male Enhancement Obsession with Hormone Replacement Therapy. Cuckoo!!! So things are worsening considerably in our Military and what they're doing is Illegal, Immoral and should be Challenged in Court coz it's blatant Discrimination, Misogyny and Racism, not even pretending to be anything but what it is. And some Americans are Okay with that by Supporting it and those making those kinds of decisions.
It's no longer a Merit Bases System in Play, they want Aryan Nation Troops it seems, you gotta be a Cis Gender White Male and that's the only REAL Qualification now. Performance, Expertise or Experience and real Qualifications means squat now with this Administration. Very Hitler Youth skewed and reminiscent of some real Bad History we should Hope wouldn't be repeated but is playing out in Real Time by the same Old Play Book actually with few deviations from it. I'm Visually Focusing on some Closeups in this Post with my Imagery, coz I think we really should be Focusing more on the Closeups of our Fellow Americans and what they Support and Stand For or Against. It's Important to know. Whose had effective Facades carefully constructed, a Veneer over What they're About and Who they really are? I'm not trying to make anyone become Paranoid, but not everyone or everything is as it Appears on the Surface either, so just don't be Deceived. My Welsh Nanna had a Saying: Better The Devils you Know than The Devils you don't.
TED Talk now over... ha ha ha. I know most of my Peeps here have their Heads on the Swivel and don't require any of my Advice or Observations. You've been discerning from what I can tell of each of you I know, as well as Observant enough and made your own, and Stand on and for the Side we should for the Good of Humanity and ALL People. That's Why we can be Friends. *Winks and Smiles* Otherwise we fucking can't, coz I'm not very Forgiving of those who choose to stand on the Wrong Side of History, they'll get what's coming to them eventually, I'm sure of it. I don't give 'em a Pass. And I won't feel the least bit sorry for them or that they will receive what's due them. Karma is the ultimate Bitch, so I don't even have to be. *LOL*
Moving On... I told The Man to take a Shower this Morning in prep for his VA Doc Appointment and I know he didn't. But, he'd already gotten himself at least Dressed and in Clean Clothes, so, I choose Battles wisely with him anymore. Plus, now there's no time to get him undressed, Showered, and dressed again before we'd have to leave for the VA Clinic coz it's a Fair Commute to Sun City West where it is located. We have a VA Clinic just down the Street within sight of our Home but they weren't taking any New Patients so we'll have to wait until they are to switch him over to that Location. Plus, changing Docs is a big Question Mark and with all his History and Comorbidities I'm just not up for that either really. Hit and miss whether we'd get someone we Liked at all or felt was doing a decent Job being his Primary. Dr. Klein is quite Old and I don't know he keeps up with what's New?
But we're quite Old and don't either... and he's very Nice, very Compassionate, and The Man does Like him and that's huge. We like his Civilian Specialist Dr. Pham a LOT, we're so fortunate to now have him on our Team here at The Asylum and Approved as his Cardiologist. *Smiles and Whew* I'll be Honest, I don't LIKE a lot of Docs or have a lot of Trust in Western Medicine. I personally utilize Holistic, Tribal and Eastern Medicine mostly myself. But I get good Vibes from some Docs and my Gut Instincts usually Serve me quite well about People. The Man knows I scope People out when I first meet them and if the Vibe ain't Right, he knows I'm not Trusting that one. *Ha ha ha* He also knows I've rarely been inaccurate about People, some can Fool you for a little while, but eventually if the Facade drops even just a little, they're now exposed and revealed. No putting it back up or trying to, I rarely give 2nd chances if you've been Deceptive, now I don't Trust you. Coz Why did you even have to be?
UPDATE: The VA Doc went so well, his Primary Doc at the VA is totally on Board with what the Cardiologist wants The Man do be on and do. So that's good news that they are in Agreement and caught up on things. We only see the VA Doc once every 3 Months, the Cardiologist more often. All of The Man's Labs were excellent. His A1C is down to 6.5 so as low as mine is now, which is great coz for a while his was really high. He has some early Kidney Disease so they're putting him on a Med to help protect his Kidneys, which I think is a good idea. His Family has a History of Kidney Disease and Hereditary High Cholesterol. His Cholesterol levels were pretty good tho', so the Meds he takes to Manage that are working. His Doc was so Proud of his Progress, I am too, he's on the right trajectory and has put in the Work. I took him out to Eat after our Appointment, he was in great Spirits with such a Positive Appointment for a change.
This is my Paternal Cousin Wewokajanna who is very likely Dying. I'm Hopeful she can get adequate Treatment and Comfort yet I feel she didn't get the Care she should have gotten nor early enough. Since it's been diagnosed so late and now they know it's TB, I do wonder how many other Loved ones and their Community are or have been exposed to TB and it's been left unchecked there on the Reservation? I asked her Sister if the Indian Hospital is now Testing everyone, I haven't gotten an Answer and I don't know she would even think about it or have much knowledge of how contagious the Disease is and that it can go from a few Cases to an Epidemic level. Google claims it's Moderately Contagious but in the Past there was widespread of it that Killed a lot of people and many were sent to Deep Desert Sanitoriums to just Die. Without Treatments 2/3 will Die within 3 Years of Diagnosis, or sooner if it was caught late.
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This was my Cousin as a Teen in the 1960's... and Below, her Older Brother {now Deceased}, and Younger Sister {who told me of her Sister's Illness}. I haven't seen any of these Cousins since about late 1980's when they came to Arizona with my Paternal Aunt and visited The Man and I when we lived at our Historic Home. He only met part of my extended Family on both Sides, since all still either live in North Wales or on the Rez in Oklahoma mostly. Any living elsewhere I wouldn't even know where they're at and have little to no contact with many on either side of the Family now. One Male Welsh Cousin I'm in contact with now and Two Paternal Female Native American Cousins, that's it. Really, that's probably damned near all of us that's even left now. So it's not so much that anyone is Estranged, most have now Crossed Over from Time into Eternity and into the Great Beyond.
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When my Dad and his Younger Sister, who lived with him after being Widowed, were still Alive, many of the Paternal side of the Family came to Arizona regularly. They don't anymore now that both Dad and his Sister Passed Away. My Welsh Uncle, Mom's Older Brother, came to Arizona for 11 Years Straight on Vacations. He stayed with us or our Mom for about a Month at a time and I Cherished that time with a Favorite Uncle, he and I were very, very Close and I miss him so much. He lived to be 90 and his Youngest Son is the only Welsh Relative I'm now still in contact with. He's closer to my Younger Brother's Age and in good Health, he's come to America often on Vacays and for Work, since he's a Welder and does Work at Nuclear Power Facilities mostly around the World.
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But, he's never yet visited us so I haven't seen him since we were both Teenagers in the time we were Stationed in Great Britain before my Dad Retired from the Military. We'd make Trips to North Wales from our Base in England, to visit Mom's Relatives. I doubt I'll ever return now, I enjoyed visiting where my Mom was from and I was Born, incidentally. Coz Mom always went Home to give Birth to her Children coz of the hostility in America during that Era towards Native Americans and especially Interracial Intercultural Unions, it was very bad, even dangerous back then. So she didn't risk it, and got good Care in her Country on their National Health System and she was still a Welsh National and never gave up her Identity or Citizenship. So, I still have Dual Citizenship, being a Child of an Active Duty American GI born Overseas.
Tho' I consider myself an American and this is my Homeland and I'm Proud to be an American. In any other Country, even my Mom's, I'm considered an American, not Welsh. If I didn't have Living Relatives there in North Wales, I doubt I'd be well Received actually. Any more than I would on my Dad's Reservation either if I didn't have Living Relatives there. Which is why I feel no Need to return to either, no connections at either place, visited both, was Fine just being a Visitor and not a Resident. *LOL* Anyway, I was concerned driving to the VA Clinic, how many Data Centers they've built between where we live and where the Clinic is, just OMG, Miles and Miles of them!!! It's alarming. A Veterans at the VA we chatted with while waiting said his Cousin lives in a small Town in New Mexico and they built one near it and used up all the Water and now the Town has no Water!!! They are doing irreparable damage to Environments and Communities with these Data Centers.
I got invested in a NetFlix Series called UNCHOSEN, which was a Thriller about a fictional Cult in Great Britain, and it had an unexpected ending, I liked it, took me Two Nights to see it all. The Cast were all from Great Britain, the Northern Irish Actor Fra Fee in it was really good, first time seeing him in anything. There have been some good short Series on both NetFlix and Amazon Prime, we're getting both for Free, so I'm watching more TV than I usually do. Not a big watcher of TV and never have been. While watching my Series I head something on the Front Porch, thought it was the Storm blowing something Metal around, turns out someone, probably our Neighbor Rob, had left me a really high end Reddish Honey Natural Wood and Black Metal Crescent Shaped Display Rack with Flat Back on Wheels, with several Tiers {Four}! {See Below}
I rolled it inside to keep it from the Weather and will remember to Thank him next time I see him. He's found me some good Displays over the Years and just Gifts me with them. That's why I think it was Rob, he's the only one whose done that consistently over the Years if he finds something Commercial or Industrial that he knows I'll find Useful or could put in the Showroom to Display things on or Resell. Don't know where I'll put this one in The RV Garage Mahal, but I'll find Placement coz it's an Expensive High End Commercial Display. *Smiles* I've got so many Old Canning Jars with Zinc and Milk Glass Lids that I put small items in that it would be a good Display Rack for those... or even my Starbucks Mug and Tumbler Collection, so it will be Useful and I Love how it looks too. Totally Jazzed to find it out there as a Surprise Gift from a Dear Neighbor Friend. The Racks are adjustable and come off, as you can see from the Back side of the Display. Very Sturdy Construction and the Wood is in remarkable Shape for a Commercial Display, no scratches or gouges, nice Finish. It was well taken Care of.
I do have so much Work to do this Fall and Winter around here and I am determined to gird myself to knuckle down and really do it in earnest. During Pandemic I did and so I need to make myself stay Home more when things Cool Down and really tackle things I want Done so I can enjoy the Fruits of that Labor around here. It's long overdue and I ain't getting any Younger to accomplish this extended Project I've got going on at Forever Boheme'. I didn't think it would take this many Years and grossly underestimated the amount of Time, Energy and Help I'd require. Do you ever do that as you get Older, underestimate how long things will now take you do do? I used to be a good judge of estimating things and that is eroding as Time marches on and I think I can still do things that obviously I either can't or take me so much longer to do. Then the timeline or deadline gets strung out ridiculously long. And I get overwhelmed easily now too, which I never used to.
Seriously, no gargantuan Project ever intimidated me or I didn't think I couldn't do before, I knew with tenacity I could do damned near anything I set my Mind to. Now, tho' I feel like I still could, I have no delusions about what it will take and I'm not entirely sure I've still got what it takes to do it without a lot of Help? A a lot of Help isn't always possible or available, coz Volunteers for major Projects are few and far between. There's no real Projects Budget either to Hire Helpers or throw Money at Family to encourage them to put that much Work into something that's MY Project and not theirs. *LOL* The Daughter did a LOT for me in The RV Garage Mahal and around here, so no wonder she's Bailed now, it had begun to Overwhelm her I'm sure of it. *Le Sigh but Smiles* I had Projects that might take the next Two Generations all of their Lifetimes to accomplish, let alone mine!? *Bwahahahaha* It is Intimidating, what I've Created in the way of an "Inheritance" to dispose of or Manage.
Assessing Life's Challenges and Crossroads here in the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
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