More Bad News ~ Close To The Edge So Don't Push Me

 The Kids are getting Pizza for lunch, with The Grandson coming Home I cancelled all my Sunday Plans, which were loosely made anyway and just something to do on a glorious Weather Day.   It's 80 Degrees and lovely Outside now, no hint of more inclement Storms, for now anyway.  We're growing Corn, not that we intended to but the Birds flung some Corn Kernels from their Bird Feed Station and one took Root in a Flower Pot we grow Herbs & Tomatoes in and now we're getting a Corn Cob Ear growing on the Stalk, which is very high now, so we'll get at least One Ear of Corn by pure Serendipity.  *Smiles*  When we make our Above Ground Victory Gardens to grow Fruits, Herbs & Veggies outside of Pots I plan to expand what we grow and Harvest from Home Organically.  I got Seeds for Days of every type of Produce to grow yourselves.  Our Local Library gives 3 Free Seed Packets per Month and I go Religiously and get ours.

I have Talavera Pots that can grow some smaller Produce and the larger Talavera seems to be big enuf for that Corn to grow, but we'll get larger Harvests in Above Ground Agricultural Structures.  I've even had local Restaurants that are Small Business Owned tell me they'd Buy my overage if I grow it here on the Mini Farm coz they know I'll Raise it Organically.  There's also Farmer's Markets once a Week at some of the Local Parks and several people set up there to Sell their Produce and Farm Raised Honey or Homemade Jams & Jellies.  I often Buy from Farmer's Markets and from my Mini Farm Community Neighbors.  Most of the Neighbors give you their overage and won't accept Payment, so we Trade with one another mostly.  Plus Omar's Citrus & Nut Trees grow over the Property Line into our Property and we Harvest what grows over the Fence or drops in the Yard, and maintain that part of the Tree for them.   Laura's Pecan Trees behind our Property are so Old they too grow over the Property Line and drop Nuts in the Pasture on our side.

Amber came over and Paid The Grandson and The Daughter to Wash a Dog she has, it's not even her Dog but it got dumped on them and she wants him to look Nice so she can find him a good Home.  He's a full Size Poodle Mix with probably an English Sheepdog, pure White with long Hair, so he looks Lovely now he's been Washed and Groomed.  He knows how Handsome he looks too, but he will require an Owner willing to maintain his long Coat properly, he's got a pleasant disposition and seems like a good Dog for a Family Pet.  Amber is Emotionally Raw becoz of her Oldest Daughter getting Pregnant by our Older Neighbor TJ coz he doesn't want to be responsible.  Amber works Two Jobs, is Caregiving for her Mom with Stage 4 Cancer, her Dad is in his 70's so she looks out for him now too, so it's all too much for her.   She feels TJ took advantage of her Daughter, whose only in her 20's, and is Special Needs, and he's in his 60's and not Well, allegedly has Stage 4 Cancer too.

She's not even convinced he's Sick and thinks he told his Elderly Parents he's Sick so he could move back Home and they'd pity him?  I can't say for sure, but he doesn't seem in any kind of actual decline.  Whereas Mando, who does have Stage 4, has really bad days, so does TJ's Older Brother Rob, who also has Stage 4 Cancer and has really bad days.  I just Wonder if TJ made it all up coz he's made up outrageous things before that were ridiculous to Lie about coz there would be no sustaining that Lie.   I mean, it would be of coarse good if he isn't Sick and is making it up, but Why would anyone pretend to have Cancer?  That's just really messed up, so, when he told us he had it, we Believed him.  But I can see why everyone is Suspicious, Mando even mentioned that tho' he can tell Rob is as ravaged by the illness as he is, TJ doesn't appear to be at all, which is just very Odd.

And we have noticed that since his Parents, who are in their 80's, think both Sons might be Dying, they're really indulgent and TJ is the Youngest, so he might be Playing them?  I just don't know.  Amber was in Tears and I just felt so bad for her and gave her a big Hug.  She is worried this Baby won't be Healthy, know TJ has no Plans to Support her Daughter or this Baby, has hit her Daughter once already, and feels like the burden will all fall on her.   It would be her first Grandchild, so she said of coarse she'd never forsake it, or her Daughter, but that, this is just all Bad and it's overwhelming her.  I understand, it's a tough Space to Hold.  Her Daughter is Special Needs, but she's Grown, so Legally she can make her own decisions even if they're bad ones.  She's not deemed Incompetent, but, might be deemed Unfit to Parent this Baby?

Anyway, other than that everything is Swell.  *LOL and Eye Roll*  The Man's Arm is still very Deep Bruised, but doesn't look quite as Black as it did.  It's changing a variety of Colors now, but, doesn't hurt and he sees his Cardiologist on Tuesday for Post Op Follow-up.  He still gets very short of breath but I attribute that to how much Sedentary Down Time he required Post-Op and once he's moving around again, he'll build up the Stamina for Walking and such?   With Two unblocked Arteries now he should be feeling some improvement of at least Circulation.  But, he does have a lot of comorbidities going on and it didn't solve them all of coarse.  Plus, with Dementia, it can Negatively begin impacting Bodily Function just like the TBI initially did when it was early into his Recovery from the Catastrophic Accident.  He had to Learn to do literally Everything again, like Breathing, Talking, Chewing, Swallowing, Walking, Reading, Writing, Toiletry... it was a long haul lasting Years.

Anyway, we're just trying now to slow down progression of the Diseases so that he enjoys Quality of Life for as long as he can.  And he's in his Mid-70's now so, he knows he could just Die of Old Age Naturally, before any of these Diseases take him out.  I feel the same way as I approach 70, it's been a Good Long Run, so anything Extra is a Bonus.  I recognize my own Mortality and realize Old Age is a Privilege not afforded to many.  We band together during tough times and offer Emotional Support to Friends who are going thru tough times too, Life can be Hard and very complicated.   You can do all the Right things and still be dealt a shitty Hand, you just Play whatever Cards you've been Dealt.  And often, tough times will make better People of most folks, it really does.  Those who've never been thru tough times and have had exceptional Privilege, usually lack Compassion or Empathy I've noticed.  And are more prone to being Egocentric, Selfish and Out of Touch with the plight of those going thru tough times.  They simply have no Point of Reference to draw upon.

Today I'm flooding the Post with New Images of my Lil Brother as he has been Covering some Festivals and finally got in Front of the Lens for a change.  I always lament that I have tons of Pixs of his Industry Friends but so few of him, so he Obliged and took some Selfies and had some of his Professional Photographer Buddies take some of him too for me.  He's had a very tough time with his declining Health again, but is up by Faith and Trusting it will continue to Hold.   His prognosis having been grim for so many Decades now we Joke that if we'd dug a Grave every time the Docs said we'd be burying him we'd be dug halfway to China by now!  Now his Medical Professionals just say they don't even know why he's still Alive, he shouldn't be!  *LOL*

His Friends in the Paparazzi and Entertainment Industry have even done Fundraisers for him when he's been really Sick and run out of Medical Coverage for Experimental Treatments.  St. Jude's also hooked him up before, since, if you have something Rare and are an Adult, they often will if you're willing to receive Experimental Treatments.  Why not if you've been given Zero chance of Survival, so, he's been Experimental a lot with Treatments over the Years and perhaps some of them have even Worked or at least Helped keep him Alive longer?   He's tough as Old Boots coz he's been Sickly literally his entire Life.  He was a Premie who Weighed in at barely 3 Lbs. back in 1960 in a Hospital Overseas that didn't even have Incubators so they set him on a Radiator to keep him Warm in a Bread Basket!!!   He's been on Life Support 11 Times, been Unplugged each time, and came back to Life!  I Nicknamed him Lazarus.

He has a big Grim Reaper Tattoo on his Chest with DNR underneath, for the Paramedics, who all know him well in his Community.  *LOL*  That Tat is as big as the Iconic one Actor Danny Trejo famously has on his Chest.    My Brother is very Tatted Up, all Black & Grey, most done by Famous California Tattoo Artists that usually have Years long Waiting Lists but are Friends of his... he doesn't have much Real Estate left for new ones.  *LOL*   There hasn't been a time in his Adult Life where I haven't seen my Brother with a Camera, it was always a Passion of his even as a Teenager to use Photography as an Art Form and he excelled at it.  He eventually went Pro and it took him to Hollywood over Time and then he liked Cali so much he moved there permanently.   The Entertainers and Celebs were just his Tribe of People.   His long time Partner has been Representing Celebrities and those in the Entertainment Industry her whole Career.  She was once Married to a Famous British Actor.  She's been with my Brother over 30 Years in a Common Law arrangement, recognized in Cali.  

Anyway, I can tell everyone had a great time at these Festivals he's been Covering as Media, Arizona doesn't have ours until Winter.  He's Covered ours before, which gave us all Media Access, which is Nice when he's with us, he knows everyone in the Industry and been Friends with many of them for Years now.   He hasn't been to the Arizona Renaissance Festival for over a Decade now so I'm Hopeful his Health improves enuf to Travel again eventually?   We always have a Big Time when he's visiting, he and I have always been very close Siblings all our lives.  He's so much Fun to hang out with and my Kiddos all Adore him.  He gets along with The Man, in fact, I've never actually met anyone that didn't get along with my Brother and genuinely Like him.   As Cher has been known to Famously say about her Appeal to so many folks over the Span of her very long Career, "Sometimes People just LIKE you."

And I think it Helps that my Brother just Likes People too.  I don't think he's ever met a 'Stranger', so even a Casual Meeting for the 1st time, folks often say they Feel like they've just known him all their lives.  BTW: The Ice-Cream Food Porn Pix is that Paloma Paradise Ice-Cream new Flavor that Baskin-Robbins now has, it's a new Fav of The Man and I, it's a take on a Grapefruit Margarita Flavored Cocktail with a Sweet Chili Swirl.   I tried another New Flavor they have called The Tropical Ticket, which has Pineapple and Guava with Passionfruit Swirls, but, wasn't as impressed, the flavors of the Tropical Fruits was too subtle.  I wanted to try their new Mango-Passionfruit Flavor but that location didn't have it.  That one combines Mango Ice-Cream with Passionfruit Sorbet, Mango Chunks and Passionfruit Swirls.   

I like their Triple Mango Flavor New Ice-Cream a lot, so I think I'd like that one too?  I'm a big Fan of Tropical Flavors and the Hispanic and Asian Communities Love those Flavors too and increased the Popularity of Fruits like Mango, Papaya, Plantain, Passionfruit, Dragon Fruit, Jackfruit, Lychee, Longan, Acai, Tamarind, Cherimoya, Pomegranate and Guava.   I like them all and will try others I've never had at least once, twice if I like it.  *Winks*   I still need to try Rambutan, Mangosteen, Star Fruit, Kumquat, Persimmon & Durian.   Durian has a strong vile Odor tho' that I haven't been able to get past.  And, some Americans have Warned me for the American Palate, it Tastes as vile as it Smells.   So, I haven't been brave enuf to try it even tho' our Ex-DIL from Cambodia LOVED it, but, she Loved Balut too, what can I say?  *LOL and Gak, that's True Fear Factor Food right there!!!* 

The Grandson is hooking up with Old Friends and going out with them Tonight, then just spending the Night at their House.  I'm glad his Friends are contacting him and picking him up so he can see as many of them as possible while he's here.  He lacks Friends in New Mexico coz he said the Community is quite Homophobic and smaller, so most people have known each other a long time and aren't Welcoming to Newbies anyway.    LATER:  Well we'd heard some Medicaid and Medicare Recipients were gonna be dropped in some areas but I was really Hoping our area wouldn't be one of them affected, but we got Letters this Weekend saying we are being dropped by Medicare Advantage thru United Healthcare effective January 1st!!!

 

It's not that it's going away, but 180,000 Members in areas like ours are now being excluded and can't be enrolled anymore due to new Government Regulations and Rising Costs they say!!!  WTF?!  So, now we've got to scramble to find a new Provider thru Medicare coz Plain Medicare has a lot it doesn't cover, so you need an Advantage Plan, since our Secondary Military Retiree Insurance thru TriCare For Life, doesn't cover most expenses either and a lot of Doctors and Dentists won't even accept TriCare Patients!!!  This is the worst possible time since The Man needs Specialist Care and the VA has no Cardiologists on Staff at all... and I've got the Ear thing that will require Specialist Care and possible Surgery and/or Treatments!!!   And finding a Provider who accepts a different Plan might prove difficult and I don't wanna change our current Doctors and Specialists and try to find New Ones!!!

 

They say you can "Buy" Gap Insurance, whatever the fuck that means.  It's bad enuf that The Man Served 39 Years and Contractually was Promised FREE Medical for Life for he and I, and they don't Honor that anymore so we have to Pay for our Medical Insurance now.  Every Year the Cost goes up, our Meds used to be 100% Covered, now I have Copays of $200+ Monthly for just my Diabetic Meds and that has also continuously increased as well to become less and less affordable.  They said United Healthcare will still cover 94% of eligible Medicare Beneficiaries, we're just part of the 6% excluded!!!   The 6% includes 106 U.S. Counties and apparently Maricopa County in Arizona is one of them!!!   In order to get a Dual Advantage Plan, which they still provide locally, you HAVE to be Eligible for Medicaid too and we're not eligible for that.

 

I hadn't anticipated having to choose a new Health Plan since we have been very satisfied with United Healthcare's Medicare Advantage Plan thru AARP, it covers everything and had Zero Co-Pays, no Deductibles we had to meet, was a PPO where we chose our Doctors and Dentists, and had no trouble getting Specialist Referrals.  We couldn't use the Part D Option since we had TriCare, so Rx still had to be gotten thru our Military Providers, for The Man that meant the VA and for me it meant Express Scripts since the Base Pharmacy quit carrying most of my Diabetic Meds and became a real Dog and Pony Show to get any Medications filled, 3-4 Visits in a convoluted System they made difficult on purpose to discourage you from even using.   Yes, your Rx was Free IF you could even get it and the Time wasted was ridiculous even getting what you could.   Express Scripts is delivered by Mail and has Caps on the amount charged per Prescription, for me it means around $200 Monthly tho'.

 

Now TriCare sent out literature saying you could pick up part D with Medicare for a Cost and IF you were eligible, but I'm just not messing with all that.   But, I am being forced to mess with choosing another Medicare Provider now and I resent that.   So, I spent Hours Online, since, in the Mail I'd been throwing all sent literature away as Junk Mail coz I didn't intend to change Providers during Open Enrollment until these involuntary Cancellation Letters arrived this Weekend!!!  Saying we're being dropped and can't renew with our current Plan coz it's no longer being offered in our Zip Code!!!   To me that's discriminatory and after learning we're only 6% that got dropped due to Federal Changes, it's REALLY EVEN MORE Discriminatory!!!  Online it became more evident even fewer Providers thru Medicare even are available for our Zip Code than ever, or have Restrictions!!!  WTF?!

So I Googled WHY, and clearly loads of folk were doing the same thing coz I didn't even have to finish Typing in all the Words before it popped up!!!   This means about 180,000 Locals were all doing the same thing and so Google already knew what I was asking and Why!!!  Turns out most of the PPO's went away for Medicare Recipients in our Zip Code and they're pushing the HMO's, which, I don't want.  I've had HMO's and they're not only Restrictive, you can't choose your Doctor out of Network, but also, Location Issues of where their Facilities even are that you exclusively are forced to use, longer waits for Appointments, but Cheaper Deductibles and low or no Co-Pays, especially for Specialists.  But, you have to use THEIR Specialists and my experience has been, you don't get in that easily and their Specialists are overbooked so the level of Care is not as good as choosing your own with a Referral from a PPO Plan.   I saw Maximum Deductibles went way the fuck up on all Plans that you could be Out Of Pocket for... some close to Ten Grand per Person annually too!

And ER Visit Co-Pays went way up and right now we don't even have an ER Co-Pay, so, that was huge, considering how many times The Man has required a trip to the ER.  Very few offered Ambulance reimbursement, and those that did it was a pittance they reimbursed compared to what it costs.  Less offered Silver Sneakers to keep our Gym Membership, which, for The Man isn't necessary coz he hates to go, but for me I intend to and enjoy going when I can fit it in, even with the Age Restricted Hours imposed since 2025 for Medicare Members.  So, anyway, after a very disheartening trawling of the Interweb to find something, I think I found a PPO we could probably afford thru Humana Choice.  Now to find out if my Primary Doc and possibly any Specialists we currently have or will have, will take that Insurance or not?  I don't wanna have to also change all our Doctors, we like the ones we have, finding New ones that are Good is a crap shoot and Pain in the Ass.

 

Google claimed mostly Rural Medicaid and Medicare Recipients were being dropped or having Facilities near them Close, but, Phoenix ain't fucking Rural, we're an Urban Metropolis with close to Five Million Residents it's affecting a lot of.  Some of our larger Facilities have also sent out Notices of having to Close due to Federal Cuts.  One was what Princess T had always used which is part of Why I transferred her to my Doctor, and The Daughter too, whose had no Medical 'til she returned to the United States.  Both of them are on Medicaid, so is The Son, and I just Pray they all don't get Dropped and end up with NO Insurance?!  The Son's Employer does offer Medical but it's a smaller Family Owned Biz so about 99% of the Workers can't afford it and are on Medicaid or other ACA Providers.  And all that is being slashed for Millions of Americans by this Regime taking away Affordable Healthcare, wanting to eliminate the ACA {Obamacare}, but not offering any alternative to it.   Remember that after over a Decade he only has a "Concept Of A Plan"?

Which is a Spin Doctor Speak to actually having NO PLAN, just Concepts, and going nowhere to get beyond a Concept... which is just an Idea... IF he even has one of THOSE, which, I doubt.   And they really don't Care if average Americans have no Healthcare they can afford, and is primarily Why the Government is Shut Down right now and the American People being held hostage.   And Why our Federal Workers, Military aren't getting Paid and our Federal Retirees and Social Security Pay is being fucked with for Months since this Administration took Office!!!   Not everywhere being affected, mostly Blue or Purple State Recipients, as part of the Revenge and Retribution Tour, as Promised.   So, Fun Times!  They also say that even those with Insurance will see their Premiums and Deductibles skyrocket, so, I don't know how many Americans won't be Negatively impacted?  If you haven't gotten YOUR Letters yet, they might be coming? 

Aye, ain't Fascism and Authoritarian Rule just Grand and makes ya just wanna Embrace it like a Warm fucking Hug?   NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!   No, I don't like getting Raped like this, which you do feel violated and involuntarily Screwed with all of this and there's no Legal Recourse available, even if your AG, like ours in Arizona, is filing Lawsuits which are gonna languish in our now broken DOJ all the way up to the Corrupted Supreme Court with it's MAGA Installed Bought and Paid For Judges who are 100% Political and Partisan now, performing for an Audience of One... and probably whoever they're Slaves to who Bought 'em and Owns 'em now.  And likely the Bribes they take have loads of Strings attached and of coarse it's all highly Illegal, but, whose actually being Indicted on that Bench and going to Prison?   Or Losing their Lifetime Appointment for being Corrupt?   Even with all the Evidence mounting up against the ones that are.   I'll wait...   

   

If committing Crime has no Consequences, or, even if it does, if your Prez is handing out Pardons right and left to any of his folks being Convicted, and going after his Political Adversaries and perceived Enemies with a Weaponized DOJ, even if they have committed no Crimes, the Rule of Law means absolutely nothing.   And so here we now are!!!    If his Masked Goons of the New American Gestapo can abduct or brutalize anyone in broad Daylight, for any reason, but mostly by Appearance if you look Ethnic, or are speaking a certain way, and Disappear them at a whim, with NO Due Process, is anyone really Safe now on the Streets of Amerikkka?   I think NOT!!!   My own Children and Grandchildren are now carrying their Birth Certificate Copies ON them, at all times, becoz they know they are more likely to be Targeted, even tho' they're American Citizens... but, are a Targeted Profiled Group now.  

Even The Son's Indigenous Girlfriend carries hers now coz she said The New Gestapo can't tell an Indian from any other Ethnic Group either... and Yes, a lot of Indigenous are being Targeted and picked up by ICE, so many living Off Rez are seeking Safety, for now, back on the Rez.   The Son said most of the Native Americans where he worked just left and went back to their Reservations, they're not waiting to get Fired or picked up by ICE on some Raid on the Facilities they work at and rounded up with Non-American Citizens.  His Girlfriend Lost her Career for being an Indian AND a Woman, no other reason, and now fearing being picked up by ICE for not being White, she went back to the Navajo Nation and doesn't know if she'll risk coming back off Rez?   She said Services to Tribes are being slashed by this Regime now too, he's even floated the Idea to make all Tribal People NOT American Citizens, ain't that Rich, since they're the ONLY Original Americans!!!   The Son is distraught about it, but wants her and her Children/Family, to be Okay and Safe, of coarse.

 

Even people here Legally and who have become Naturalized Citizens aren't sure that won't be taken away from them now?  Plus, he's also floated the Idea of no Birthright Citizenship, especially if you have even ONE Parent whose an Immigrant or not a U.S. Citizen!   Perhaps even those who were Born Abroad to American Servicemen deployed to other Countries with their Families... we just don't know for sure yet how far this will all spiral further downwards?   It's making a lot of people Afraid and that's the point, to be Cruel and Terrorize who they want to intimidate and Target with impunity.  Since when has an American President of any Political persuasion ever had that as their Agenda in our Lifetime anyway?  I'll wait...

So, anyway, The Son's Car took a crap again, so Mando and The Daughter took him to Work so I didn't have to.  And he was so discombobulated about it that he forgot his Lunch his Sister had made up for him and the Coffee she'd made up for him... and I know he's Stressed Out for a host of legit reasons.   The Young Prince said Allen had to quit his Job at "Lowe's" and go back to working at the Slaughterhouse coz the Insurance they had thru "Lowe's" dropped them too but didn't even notify them they had.  Both of the Grandsons have Lifetime Health Issues and Mental Health Issues.  So, when Allen went to renew his Rx for his Wellbutrin he's now on, it cost him $300 for only a Month's worth!   He had to set up a Payment Program coz he can't just go off it Cold Turkey, and, they are the ones who informed him his Family had been dropped by their Provider!!!   With his Husband being on the same Rx it would have cost them $600 a Month just for the Mental Health Meds!    

 

And Allen is on Respiratory Meds coz he has Severe Asthma.  He'd paid his Premiums, which automatically came out of his Paycheck, so he wasn't even aware anything had changed!!!   So, he quit... the Slaughterhouses at least provided some affordable Healthcare Coverage still... so far anyway.   It's like our Healthcare System is collapsing and this Regime has become Blood Sucking Vampires feeding off the American Public's Blood.   I really don't even have sufficient Words, I am at a Loss of even what else to say?   Peaceful Protests are nice and all that, but, I don't really know it's making much of an impact Politically... and who knows if we'll even be having Elections in the Future, let alone Free and Fair ones?   I'm not sure, I'm not confident, I don't know that being Peaceful around a Violent Regime is viable to promote Change at all, I'd Hope so, of coarse... but... I could be Wrong that Positive Changes are on the Horizon... they could be a long, long, ways off? 

And just asking, "Is he Dead yet?", won't be an Answer either... he's Spawned too many Replacements and the Thirst for Power & Money is Strong in his demented and Corrupt Orbit...

*******

Pissed Off in the Arizona Desert... don't push me coz I'm close to the Edge, I'm trying not to lose my Head... Dawn... The Bohemian