Ego Is Just An Overdressed Insecurity

 

Ego is just an Overdressed Insecurity.  That Brilliant Blog Post Title Hook is a Quote from the Great Quincy Jones.  I just finished watching his NetFlix Special, what an Icon.  I also watched the Great Rita Moreno's NetFlix Special, another Icon.  Since I didn't go to Work on Friday I'm Two whole Unpublished Posts ahead now, whoo hoo!   I Slept most of the Afternoon away and the Kids woke me to feed me, they've been worried that after Noon, I just didn't feel Well and took to the Bed, then called in to Work to say I couldn't be in.  I really couldn't eat due to the Stomach upset and nausea, so gave 90% of my Dinner to The Man.  I think I might have an Inner Ear Infection and felt like I had a fever and some nausea from it, my Left Ear has fluid buildup which is irritating, painful and hard to drain out.  Other than that I don't feel Sick or like I'm coming down with anything really.  At first I wasn't sure increasing my Ozempic by double might be causing it, the Doc did tell me I might not feel great initially, she could be Right?   If I still feel crappy Tomorrow I'll take some Allergy Med to see if that helps the Ear clear up?

I'm one not to like to take even an Aspirin for a Headache usually.  But, I'm on a daily Aspirin after that Stroke, plus the Diabetic Meds, and, it's just a LOT without having to take anything else over-the-counter.  So, I'm quite stubborn about not pill popping even benign Meds that you can't get hooked on and aren't dangerous.  We have them handy for everyone else, I gotta be feeling like Death to even succumb and take some tho'.  And I Hate feeling so Tired even after Napping the whole Afternoon away.  Crazily, the only thing I felt I could keep down without hurling was a small slice of Garlic Toast and some Irish Coffee Ice-Cream... I know, Weird.  Both were more a Craving than a feeling of actual Hunger too, but I did polish off that small container of Ice-Cream, all of it.  *LOL*  And the Garlic Toast is something The Daughter made with some French Bread and it was Sublime and very Garlic heavy!!!  I don't have to worry about Vampires now, or about being Kissed.  *Winks*

The Daughter and Mando picked Princess T up from Work for me, which I was Thankful for, coz, didn't wanna roll out of my Deep Sleep Nap to have to do it.   She kept coming in to Check on me once she got Home from Work.   She gets Anxiety about Grandpa or I not Feeling Well, since, well, Mortality Odds aren't exactly in our Favor at this Season of Life and she can do that much Simple Math.   LATER:  It's Saturday Morning and I heard our Antique Mall is having a big Sale where anyone Buying any Item over $25 gets 20% Off, I Hope that stimulates Trade for higher ticket items, we'll see?   The Mall will reimburse us Vendors the extra 5% on any of those Sales, since, the most Vendors are mandatorily required to take a hit on for Sales is 15% unless they make the decision and accept a lower offer from a Customer making one for more than 15% Off.  They haven't been doing enuf Trade Stimulator Events IMO.

The Son and The Daughter were up super early doing Yardwork for me and their Laundry, they'll be cooking a Turkey Today for Dinner.  We had Two Turkey and a Ham in the Freezer we have in The RV Garage Mahal so we need to eat them up.   Mando is gonna Help with the Meal, it's no particular Special Occasion, we just had them frozen and they're taking up a lot of Freezer Space.  My Birthday is coming up the 16th and in Real Time it's The Young Prince's 25th Birthday, August 9th.  This will Publish days later since I'm ahead in Unpublished Posts now, whoop whoop.  I Hope at least One of his Two Packages arrived on Time for it... the Post Office projected at least One would arrive by Friday and it's Saturday Today, but he hasn't said anything about receiving either yet???

Another Brilliant Quote in the Quincy Jones Special he said was given to him by a Mentor, and I forget which one, I think it was Count Basie, but I could be mistaken?  "Not one drop of my Self Worth can depend on your Acceptance of me."   Wow, what a profound piece of Sage Advice!   Especially for anyone whose been marginalized by Society based on superficial factors like Race, Country of Origin, Gender, Sexual Identity, Disability, Religion, Socioeconomic Standing, Demographic, or any other ridiculously shallow factor that tries to diminish the Worth of another Human Being based on someone else's Biases and lack of Acceptance.   Anyway, The Young Prince just Messaged me that Yes, they got the 1st Package, which were Maddie's Gift Shirts plus an Extra Pride Shirt I got for him.   Sadly, the one with his Birthday $$$ and the Gift Shirts Trio from us didn't arrive on time, dammit.  I was late in sending it tho', not the USPS Fault.

I'm running behind the 8-Ball lately since so much is going on and lots of Balls in the Air being furiously Juggled.  I feel rather like a Circus Act, a Highwire one, on a Unicycle Juggling all the Balls, on a Tightrope... as we pile out of a Clown Car to do something Death defying like the Flying Wallendas.  And then, while you're doing all of that, someone tosses you yet another Ball on The Fly to add more Drama to the Act. *LOL*   I'm trying to clear up that Ear Problem this Morning with our arsenal of over the counter Allergy and Sinus Meds I stocked up on, seriously, I could open a Non-Rx Pharmacy, but, we're prepared for anything now.  *Winks*  When the Dollar Stores started going out of Business I was quite pro-active in stocking up on their Name Brands and good quality Generic Brands that worked good in their Healthcare Section.  It's been a Budget Saver coz they can be so expensive elsewhere.

Granted our Medicare Advantage Plan, United Healthcare, gives The Man and I each a $50 U-Card that's loaded every Quarter, to use for Healthcare and Hygiene Essentials.   Some Advantage Plans do the same for Groceries or Utility Bill Assistance to Seniors, it's why I wish they informed Seniors better about the Advantage Plans, Medicare doesn't and you really have to do your own Due Diligence in what Benefits each Plan offers beyond Regular Medicare... which, is quite limited.  The Advantage Plans, for most Seniors, doesn't Cost Extra but provides a lot more Benefits to you, so is well worth switching to.  The Man had Regular Medicare for Years before we knew that Advantage Plans even Existed!!!  I switched him over once I Qualified for Medicare and realized, hey, there's Plans providing Extras that we didn't know about previously and were never informed of, and they're no Extra Cost to us, WTF?!

Just like we only JUST got informed of that VA Program that reimburses Veterans for some Emergency out of Pocket expenses when they have to be taken to a Civilian Hospital and not the VA Hospital!  Who knew?  Coz nobody informed us before of this Benefit and Program in all the Years he's been in the Military or Retired from it!!!   You just have to inform them within 72 Hours of the Incident that required ER Care to Qualify for any Reimbursement you might end up needing compensated for expenses you incur due to it that your Insurances don't cover.  Shit, if we'd known that over the Years we would have been reimbursed and compensated for a shit-ton of his ER expenses I had to pay out of Pocket, but, we were never informed.   I'm glad we know now and have the Number to call, but it would have been more appropriate if the VA had informed Veterans Years ago... or at all.  We got the information quite by Serendipity and accidentally by an Employee of the VA!  I guess most Assume we all already know and were told?

The Son is whining this Morning about people in the Household getting into the Food he Buys for Lunches for Work, or Special things he likes to eat and never gets a chance to before someone else gets to it.  *Le Sigh*   With a Multigenerational Household we pool Resources but often each person gets what they like and if they don't put their Name on it to Reserve it for themselves, then, it becomes a running battle with some of them about getting into what someone else bought and was Saving for themselves for a Purpose!  Oy Vey, so now I have to remind everyone of some things I know he Buys for himself and aren't the Communal Offerings everyone and anyone can just take and have.  The Daughter does need to go to DES and apply for Food Stamps, she's been putting it off coz you only Qualify for 90 Days worth a Year now and it's an Ordeal for her to go thru the Process.  But, it's Helpful... and she eats, whether she contributes or not to Buying Food.

Keeping the Peace when everyone isn't aware what he doesn't want someone to eat that he bought, is hard, I've suggested he Buy a small Fridge and put it in his Room for those things, and make a little Pantry area for Non-Perishables he bought.  It's small irritants tho' that cause the most friction with Sharing Space with a lot of different personalities.  Princess T has her own Fridge for those things that are just hers and she often is Okay with letting a Family Member put something Special of theirs in there to hide it from everyone else.  *Winks*  She knows what she bought and has, and she's not notorious for taking what isn't hers or assuming it's Communal items I bought for everyone to partake of.  Almost everything edible I Buy is Communal and I do remind him of that.  I've never shit Kittens when anyone eats it and I paid for it, so, Chill about what you paid for and someone else eats, everyone gotta eat, not everyone can contribute to the Food Fund equitably.

Lord have Mercy, Kids and The Man fighting over Food is ridiculous to me personally, I've never fought over Food even when I was Hungry and a broke Bitch.  *LOL*  I'd still Share whatever I had even if it wasn't enuf, I'd throw more Water in the Beans, to stretch it out to Feed more Mouths, you know?  *Eye Roll*   Anyway, The Man forgets what he gets into and The Daughter has Four Alters and doesn't always know what the Dominant one at the time has done if it's not in Dominant Mode anymore.   So, I told him, it's likely your Dad or your Sister, they won't always recall, or even know it was yours, so, Calm Down about it.  I know it's not Princess T or I, since I know what I Buy and she knows what she Buys, we mostly stick to what we Bought.  She's a fussy Eater so doesn't like the Processed Deli Meats he gets for Lunches, or the types of Canned Soups he gets for Lunches.  She likes Cup O'Soup and Asian Ramen Soups, she eats very little Meat, nor do I like Processed Foods and lots of Meat.

Anyway, True to Form, The Man and The Daughter swore it wasn't them, and it HAD to be, so nothing got resolved and it will happen again.  So, I don't have another suggestion for him really, he either has to get over it, or set something up in his Room, where, nobody Enters without his Permission to, it's Forbidden, by me, for anyone to intrude in anyone else's Private Personal Space.  If I catch them being intrusive and not Respecting someone else's Personal Space and Private Sanctuary Space, we have a "Situation" between them and I.  *Winks*  So, I know if he kept his coveted Food items in the Guest Bedroom that's HIS Space, we'd alleviate this Problem.  So, he's agreeing that would be the best Solution to the Problem that he's experiencing regularly and is causing him some distress and upset.  Then, no Trouble in Paradise. *Winks*

There are always compromises when you have more People who are Sharing Space and Resources, that's just a Natural Fact.   I don't mind being the Mediator and Moderator to ensure everyone's Concerns are addressed and their Voices Heard.   I really need to re-organize our Pantry and Cupboards better, so we know our Inventory of the Non-Perishable items we have in Stock and rotate things better.  LATER: I began the great organizational Project of the Pantry and Cupboards.  Things already look better in the top half of the Pantry I finished already, now I know what we have and don't have in the way of Canned Veggies, Beans, Pasta Sauces, Soups and Meats like SPAM & Tuna Fish.  Yay!!! 

I had gotten all the Pasta and Rice sorted and organized before on the rolling Industrial Pantry Shelving just outside of the Kitchen.  I'll be moving down to the Bottom Pantry Shelving and Cupboards next.  I actually have a Cupboard that holds nothing but Jarred Candles, since we use them so often, but, that looks like a Vision coz Princess T did that one for me coz she uses a lot of our Candles in her Room.  Mebbe they don't Belong in the Kitchen Cupboard but it's the most convenient and accessible place for something like that which we use every day and rotate thru as much as we do our Non-Perishable Food items.  We are mos def Jarred Candle and Incense People.  I Love having a Home that smells Zen, Aromatically Sublime and doesn't have Odors.  Sensory things are important to us, nothing worse to me than entering any Space that Smells Off or Foul.

This took me more Time and Energy than I like to admit to, and your Eyes aren't creating an Optical Illusion, whoever did these Custom Pantry Shelves didn't install them on a Level, when drilling the Holes, so, Yeah, they're off and that Middle Shelf is indeed askew and leaning like the Tower of Pisa.   I Hate it, but, whaddya gonna do, it would be a major expense to rip it all out and do it right, so, we won't.  Modern Construction, even expensive Custom Cabinetry, is inferior to what I had in my Century Plus Old Historic Home that was built like a Brick Shit House.  What holds these Shelves up is Plastic too, which I don't Trust, and doesn't interface with the Metal Brackets you can buy that are Stronger, so I put the heavier stuff on lower solid set Shelving just in case of a potential collapse.   And The Daughter came to Help and we knocked out the other 7 Cabinets/Pantry Areas, Reveal further Below.

After having better Visual access to Inventory, my stockpile was just lean on a few key items I'll pick up next Grocery Run, like Canned Peas and Canned Corn, more Canned Carrots.  We usually eat Fresh Veggies when it's in Season, so Canned is our backup.  Same with Chili, I usually make it from Scratch, but we keep a few Canned Chili for quickie Meals.  And we always have Pasta and Rice on hand coz the Kiddos and The Man like their Carbs and they're not as Restricted as I am... well, The Man is, but, he doesn't always eat Well so his Doc said let him have some Carbs if that's what I can get down him without a fight.  *Le Sigh*  When someone has cognitive decline it's akin to getting a Child to eat something they refuse to or simply don't Like, so you get Creative and sneaky, becoz you can't eat it FOR them.  We will hide Veggies in his Pasta, Bean & Rice Dishes that he wouldn't otherwise eat at all.  *Shhhush, our Secret, Winks*

I realized I went a bit berserk in stockpiling some things, like Pasta, Olive Oil & Rice, coz most of what we like best is Imported, and with Tariff's, might become too expensive or sparse to obtain?   So, I'd rather have an abundance than none at all, just in case.   Like I said, the last Run I made to the Dollar Store, more than half their Products had been increased 25% overnight!   And that's a huge increase that hits the Budget hard when you're already on a Fixed Income or have lots of Mouths to Feed and a Home to Maintain.   And the last couple times I've gone to Grocers that Import a lot of their Product, they had a lot of barren Shelves out of Stock of a lot of crucial items.  "Whole Foods" was Out of a Whole Lotta Foods!   And their prices are already higher, but, I like their Brands and the Freshness of their Perishables, so I do Shop there even tho' they only have East Valley Locations.

I realized "Sprouts" now no longer carries some of my fav Brands I always bought from there, like the Zeal Creamery Milk, I don't know why, since you can still make Online Orders of it!?  I don't Buy Groceries Online and when I Googled, I didn't even have to key in much and it instantly knew the Question I was gonna ask so a lot of people must be asking the same Question?  *LOL*   They did give some Zip Codes it's not available in, ours wasn't listed tho', so I may ask Management next time I'm there shopping.   The Dairy is located in Missouri, so, it's not an Imported Product.   I do look at Dairy Ratings as well as Ratings for Egg Producers to see whose in Compliance and Ethically Sourcing Product from their Animals.   Cornucopia Institute give good Stats on recent Ratings from Best to Worst.   And now for the Reveal of the other Cabinets and Pantry Spaces... all Done and we Feel so Accomplished and Organized now:

Behind Door No. 1

 

Behind Door No. 2

Behind Door No. 3

Behind Door No. 4

Behind Door No. 5

Behind Door No. 6

Behind Door No. 7

As you can clearly see, my Tariff Hoarding began in earnest and we're well stocked with Non-Perishables and Frozen Foods to last 6 Months at least, in case everything goes Sideways.  If it doesn't we only have to replenish Perishables and anything we might run out of that we use all the time.   In my Spice Cabinet I have duplicates of all the Spices we use almost every day like Jamaican Jerk Seasoning, Nature's Seasoning, French Fry Seasoning and various Garlic & Herb Seasonings.  Places like BIG LOTS where we got those have gone Chapter 11 and Closed so I stocked up when they had their Final Days.  Morton's Nature's Seasoning we were having difficulty Sourcing at Grocers so when we found some I bought a lot of it.  And my Jamaican Jerk Seasoning is from the Asian Market and they were running low so I bought a lot of that too.  I also have a lot of Coffee and Teas, Honey & Jams.

*******

See you later my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian