The Psycho Meltdown

 

I was up super Early again and got everything done before 5:00 a.m. this time!  In the Morning Sunlight tho' I caught sight of myself in the Truck Sun Visor Mirror while driving Princess T to Work, The Son came along coz he needed something from the Convenience Store.  When he came out, I asked him why none of them had told me I was growing a very sparse but evident Platinum Blonde Soul Patch and a hint of a Mustache!!!  OMG, in the direct Sunlight it was glaringly obvious, but he said until I said something, he hadn't even Noticed, now he couldn't Un-Notice it.  *LOL*  We were laughing but I said, that's gotta go, I gotta Shave that shit off, its ridiculous, our People don't even grow much Body or Facial Hair, not even the Males, so, this is Crazy!!!  *LMAO*

The Man claims he didn't Notice it either, but I wondered how many people had before I finally did!?   Shudder!!!  I looked like I might be Transitioning from Female to Male!  *Bwahahahaha*  My Eyelashes and Eyebrows have virtually disappeared in Old Age, I started to have Hair Thinning on Top of my Scalp and take Supplements for that now so I don't go Bald on Top and yet still have thick Dreadlocks down to my Ass around the Parameter *LOL* ... so WTF is the Facial Hair shit sprouting suddenly when other Hair is disappearing... really?!?  Mebbe my Hair Growth Supplements, tho' intended for Females, is causing it... or mebbe just Old Age and a complete dump of any Estrogen I still have left, I dunno?!  I do get Angry and Aggressive a lot more, like a Man!  *Bwahahaha*

The Daughter has her Housecleaning Job in Chandler this Morning, earlier than usual, which is Fine, we'll be back earlier then too.  I'll probably hit the Antique Mall "Merchant Square" again and some Shops out in that Area while I wait for her.  She's usually there for Four Hours so I always eat Lunch out there and save her half of it for when she gets off.  I'm getting more Familiar with that area now, the sequence of the Streets and which run parallel to each other, or don't.  They've had a lot of Freeway Closure since they're doing major Construction on it, so you almost have to learn the Surface Streets so as not to get lost when you're diverted and Detoured off the Freeway and aren't familiar with the area.  Sometimes I don't even know which direction I'm facing, coz Oddly, tho' this Truck has way more Tech Gadgets than any other I've ever Owned, it doesn't have a fucking Compass in it, which all the others had so I'd know which direction I'm heading or facing!

So, The Man gave me a portable Compass in a Leather Case to take with me.  So I don't get discombobulated when Detoured as Freeway Closures aren't always well defined by ADOT, until up ahead, the damned Off Ramp is Closed or the whole Freeway is for Miles they happen to be working on it!!!   They should be required to put up more Signs, more in Advance of where Closures are, to more smoothly divert Traffic and allow you to get where you're going.  What complicates things in Chandler is the Chandler Airport, so some Major Streets do not go thru due to the Airport and just Dead End, picking up on the other side of said Airport.  And, Chandler renames some Streets too from what the Streets are named in Sister Cities.  That's common on only some Streets in all the Sister Cities of Metro Phoenix that interlock boundaries.  When you're crossing Municipal Borders it's handy to know that!

Olive becomes Dunlap, Waddell becomes Thunderbird and then becomes Cactus, Apache Blvd. becomes Main St., Scottsdale becomes Rural, University becomes 7th St., Tatum becomes 44th St., Hayden becomes McClintock, Arizona Ave. becomes Country Club... and you've gotta commit that shit to Memory as you're coasting thru all the Sister Cities Municipal Borders and trying to find a specific Street.  Coz in Metro Phoenix Urban Sprawl, which is vast, about 200 Miles across now, all the Cities border on one another to where you can't tell which City you're in until you see the Welcome Sign at the Border of one as you're leaving another!   So I know the West and Southside way better than I know the East and Northside of the Valley, coz I've always lived West or Southside since 1974 and only ever Worked in the Heart of Downtown Central Phoenix at Bank Headquarters or the D.A.'s Office.   The Son has lived Eastside, and worked over there for Years, so he's way more familiar.  If I get Lost over there I call him.  *LOL*

One time I got so Lost with The Young Prince with me that he began Crying, called his Uncle, and said he wasn't sure we were even still in Arizona!?  *Bwahahahaha*  Turned out we had driven too far Southeast and ended up on a Reservation, which is the Gila River Indian Community!   Until I saw the Casino, I didn't get my bearings or could tell The Son where the Hell we were, coz I wasn't even sure which Tribe's Land we ended up on and they don't always have Street Signage on the Rez!?   Since everyone suddenly was definitely Indigenous, I was pretty certain we'd entered Tribal Land tho'.   And of coarse The Grandson was a lot more alarmed than me about it and asked me if I was SURE we were even Allowed to be there?!  *LOL*  Yeah, but just don't get out of the Vehicle, and we should be Fine... says I, only semi-joking, coz some Tribes, especially the River Tribes, are very sensitive about Outsiders on their Land, which just made him Cry harder!  *Oy Vey, clearly not something to Joke about.*

Okay, so NOT really Funny Ha-Ha, but with my very Morbid and Dark sense of Humor, that time The Man and I were on the Rez and he found that Human Jawbone, that we turned in to the Tribal Police and then the Feds, he did ask me if it looked like it was the remains of a White Person or not?  *Bwahahaha*  Well, it definitely looked like a Traumatic Event by the condition showing a lot of Trauma of what was left of her, of a Young Female, the Teeth indicating to me, likely an Indigenous Female. {Shovel Shaped Incisors, a Genetic Trait of many Indigenous Indian Tribes and some Asians}  Tho' that was truly extremely Tragic to Find, The Man only semi-joked that he was kinda relieved it wasn't the remains of the last White Person that strayed too far into the Rez there.  *LMAO*

  And, frankly, it's what the Tribal Police and the Feds told us too!!!  That particular Tribe and Area being very prone to finding Human Remains of Homicide Victims that they find almost Weekly they said!   OMG, that often?  Yep, they said they had Nine Open Cases just that Week, this Jawbone would make 10 now!  Fuuuuuuck!  Needless to say, we no longer even drive thru that area!!!  *Smiles*   Even the Feds, while trying to find the rest of her, and having us take them to where we found it beside the Road, had 12 Guys, half of them Tribal, saying they'd never go with less than that amount of backup!  *Blink Blink*  The Niece {whose no actual biological connection}, goes to the Rez Casinos to play Poker all of the time, so I gave her a Heads Up about the Dangers we were told of by the Feds and Tribal Police we met that day.

 Even for there in Oklahoma and Texas where she is now living, just to be more Careful while visiting Reservation locales and only get out of the Car AT the Casino and where Security is present!  She promised me she would.  Even on my Dad's Rez I always had a Family Chaperone with me who Lived there and belongs to the Tribe.  And based on how many Episodes of "48 Hours" I've seen based in Oklahoma now, I think Off Rez is just as fucking sketchy!  *LOL*  And, I have been to Oklahoma and Texas, so I cannot say I am Surprised about that really.  I have Relatives and Friends living in both States, all of Dad's Relatives still on the Rez there, but, I wouldn't Travel alone to either... especially the smaller Rural Towns and areas.  Rural America can be like a whole other World... sometimes a whole other Planet... to what I'm used to having lived either on Military Bases or Urban Areas most of my Life now.  *Smiles*   And to be Fair, Rural Folk tell me that about The City.  There are profound differences you definitely Notice if you've Traveled extensively, not just Abroad, but here within the U.S. too!

LATER:  We're back from The Daughter's Housecleaning Job in Chandler.  I just putzed around some Shops and had Lunch, I didn't make it to the Antique Mall again over there, which was fine.  I found a big "Barnes & Noble" Bookstore, Two Stories, biggest one I've seen, so I bought my "Where Women Create" Magazine while I was there and a Canvas Pencil Sized Make-Up Bag with Ferns Botanicals on it to put spare Change in, which I keep in the Truck.  The one I had before, the Zipper broke, but I was being Anal about what I wanted as Graphics on the Bag, coz it matters to me.  *LOL*  "Barnes & Noble" had the better quality Make-Up Bags, sturdy Canvas, nice selection of Graphics, sturdy Zipper, so it should last.  Yes, it was more spendy, but I have my Store Discount Premium Member.  Plus they gave me $2 Off a Starbucks Iced Coffee for the "Starbucks" Cafe' they have in each Store.   It was really good for $3 for a Large Iced Caramel Coffee.

The only other thing I bought while out was some imported Caramel Flan and some Bird's English Custard from "World Market" marked 55% Off.  I like looking around Import Stores and looking for a replacement Make-Up Bag was my Mission Statement for the day.  I Passed on so many, either not the right Size, or not the right Fabric, or, I Hated the Graphics or they had no Graphics.  "ROSS" had some nice Ed Hardy ones at a great Price with great Graphics, but too big, or too small.  I liked what I ended up with in the end.  Online some went for far more Resale secondhand than I Paid for mine in Store, and they only had Two of that Graphics of Ferns left, so it must have been one of the more Popular ones. I had wanted to go back to our Downtown Antique Mall and Score this Brighton Canvas Tote {Front & Back Pictured Below}, I'd waffled on Buying it last time, so of coarse it had Sold.  *Le Sigh*

I like Brighton's Line of Canvas Totes and own about 3 already of 2 different Graphics, one being a duplicate Graphic.  And since I got all of those at Chazzas of coarse I was spoiled at having Scored them ridiculously Cheap.  The one at the Antique Mall was 75% off Retail Cost but, still, I was foolishly thinking, I don't wanna Pay that!  *Eye Roll*  You get stupidly ridiculous like that when spoiled by Thrift Prices sometimes.  *LOL and Le Sigh*  Yeah, I could Score it off E-Bay, but then I'd be stuck with Postage Costs coz nobody offering one is throwing in Free Postage and some Sellers inflate Postage Costs too.  The Brighton Bags at Auction are Priced all over the place as well, to reasonable and into the stratosphere ridiculously priced.  I know what the Bag Sold for Retail, I would never have Paid that in the Wildest of Dreams tho'.  It's a Canvas Tote after all... I'm not so Brand Loyal or Impressed by any Branding to overpay for it.   So, anyway, no Brighton Mermaid Bag then for me.  *Pouting*

Statistically speaking, and you know I'm a Stats Fanatic, I realize that my Nostalgia laden Topic Blog Posts are a bust, they flop and fall flat in Readership.  After all, it's MY Nostalgia, not yours, so I think it probably Bores anyone not connected to the Memories.   But, I enjoy Writing them so much, for myself, that I'm gonna keep doing them anyway.  So there! *Bwahahahaha*   I know the Psycho Venting and Ranting goes over so much better to attract interest, but I can only be Psycho and on an Epic Rant so much before The Family gets overly concerned I'm close to The Edge.  *Winks*  No, NO... but Listen, my Blog Readers LOVE it, is just not gonna convince them it's a good Space for me to Hold or them to Witness up close and personal.  *LMAOROTF*   The Psycho Meltdown is so Popular tho', my Stats soar and to prove that I'm Titling this Post The Psycho Meltdown... it will be madly Read.   I'm not actually having one, so you might end up disappointed about that... shit, dammit, she's just proving a Point *winks*, but, it will drawn you in just in case I was, Right?  *Bwahahaha*

Above is The Young Prince, Presenting as a Princess, in one of his Old TikTok Videos.   "She" can be Stunning and look so much Like their Mom, more than their Sisters do actually.   When borrowing Mom's Clothes, The Daughter jokes that they look better in them than she does, and Prettier too, that's so NOT Fair Mom!!!  *Smiles*   I was very Surprised recently at something my Grandson told me tho', since, even as a Toddler he always told me he Felt more like a Girl than a Boy and didn't ever Feel like a Man after Puberty, which, he wasn't sure he was truly Male... or truly Female... and so Presented as Dual and Fluid Gender.  What my Dad's People would call a True Two Spirit Person, which Indigenous revere and think is an Elevated State of Being. 

 Often the Two Spirit would be inclined to be Shaman and transcend any Gender Roles or do each equally, or choose one or the other, with it being a total Non-Issue within the Tribe.  Only Christian Missionaries exposure made the Two Spirit Being into something Negative and forbidden.  Anyway, what he told me that Surprised me, is that after turning 25 he's now Feeling like a Man for the first time ever!!!  I had noticed him becoming much more Muscular, acting more Masculine, his Voice has deepened, he began finally able to grow a scant amount of Facial Hair, and behave more like a Regular Guy.  I hadn't said anything about it, just Notice, even his Uncle had mentioned that when Working Out with the Weights out Back, his Nephew could now press more than he can and is getting really strong and buff.  He even began thinking he could get involved with a Woman seriously.  So, could be a Hormonal Testosterone Shift happening in his mid-20's that didn't happen beforehand, I dunno?  It's Interesting.

Which, then led to another conversation I had with his Mom, The Daughter, on our way Home from her Job in Chandler, which, is a long drive so we have some scintillating conversations sometimes.  Okay, so sometimes they border on absurd and aren't so brilliantly clever, intensely captivating or literally sparkling with Light... but, they ARE still Amusing!   *Winks*   We were talking about The Young Prince's recently swing to Manliness... and my recent outbreak of Platinum Blonde Facial Hair, I literally had the beginnings of a fucking Soul Patch and slight Mustache!!!  *Arghhh!*   And so we Mused, mostly in Jest, but given how Aggressive and Angry I've become this late in my Post-Menopause Journey, that perhaps that "Mass" they Speak of Medically, what if they're just me growing a Pair of Testicles up in there?!  *Bwahahaha*  

Well, we Laughed for Miles, we couldn't Stop Laughing, Tears streaming down our Faces.  Her saying, "Well you've always had the outward behavioral appearance and demeanor of having a bigger Set than most Guys, Mom!"  Mebbe they just never dropped down then?  Yes, it was a Silly Theory on Purpose, coz we Roll like that about Serious stuff quite often, in a totally inappropriate way, according to most people anyway. *LMAOROTF*  And after I told her about that Poor Medical Tech having to tell me of said "Mass" over the Phone and fumbling for Words when I had absolutely no Reaction at all to Worse Case Test Outcome News, her then saying it just might be Intestinal Gasses... the whole Big Fart Theory had been equally hilarious to us.   A Big "Mass" of Flatulence, a Set of Testicles... well, any of that would be better than something else really, that could be malignant, so, why not Muse about a better and more Comedic Theory of what the Hell it could be, no matter how Absurd and Silly, Right?

In Real Time Today is Father's Day, Yeah, I'm that many Unpublished Posts ahead again, about a Dozen actually.  I'm leaving some that follow a Nostalgic Post Unpublished longer, making you have to then Read the less Popular Posts dammit and not just skip over them!  *Winks and Snickers*  I'm also having Fun with the Political Memes coz some hilarious and brilliant ones are hitting my Algorithm Feed lately, so, gotta Share those too, no matter if everyone is weary of Political Satire, I'm diggin' that too!!!  *Winks*  Yep, Nostalgia and Political Satire lately are fucking Sustaining me, so, I'll be heavy on both in order to keep my Head on Straight and so... Fair Warning about the direction some Posts will continue to lean into and be heavier on than usual my Friends.  Coz if I tip over into Insanity I don't know you can Blog effectively hugging yourself in a Straight Jacket?!   Do they allow Laptops in a Padded Room BTW, just asking for a Friend?  *Bwahahaha*

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Holding onto a semblance of Sanity... well... sorta... Dawn... The Bohemian