When There's Lotsa Legalities To Get Hammered Out

Victor just came with PT Home Health, he's contracted thru the VA too and actually works for the same subcontractor as Nurse Remi.  He's originally from the South, but lost his Southern Accent, I wouldn't have known he even was Southern unless he'd told us. Usually that's a hard Accent to lose.  He's quite a Young Man and quite Athletic looking, so he does the Exercises right along with the Client like a Personal Trainer might.  He and I talked about the best Gyms to join during this visit. The Man gets along very well with him.  Victor has a great mannerism about him with Clients, and is very likeable, kind and encouraging.  So The Man kinda wants to Show Off what he CAN do Physically, which is a good thing, Victor is able to get him Voluntarily on Board to be Challenged. 

{Photo Above is my Brother's Pound Rescue Old Dog... I think he should have Named him Winston or Churchill!  LOL} So, The Man did better at his PT this day than he did before his last Hospitalization, when Victor evaluated him that time.  Victor was impressed with his progress and how hard he's trying to do the Stamina Exercises and PT, warming up to it with each visit, as he gains confidence and strength to do it.  Victor often does the Evals for Services, we may end up with a PT called Paul, who works with Victor, if more Services are Approved.  I don't know that we've ever had Paul before? 

 That Mystery Guy that showed up from some unknown Agency that I didn't have Scheduled wasn't from their Agency, when The Man described him as being a Young White Guy he'd never seen before and didn't know who'd sent him?  Victor is Black, John and Wendell were both Filipino, we've had no Young White Physical Therapist or Male Nurse, so we didn't know who the Guy that came was or who sent him?  Victor said, No, that's not from our Agency, Nurse Remi is tho'.  So, I'd like to know who sent The Mystery Guy and set up that Appointment without my knowledge?  If it's not Scheduled thru me, and I don't know Who he is, or what Agency he's from, and I'm not here, I don't want someone random just coming into the Home!

  The Kiddos and The Man don't know whose supposed to be coming, sometimes I don't know 'til we get their Details and whose sent them.  The VA is good about Approving expanded Services for the 100% Disabled Veterans like The Man, but sometimes HUMANA insists on sending their people too.  But this is the only Agency the VA is sending and we're familiar with their people now.  HUMANA is more limiting with Home Services, but does have some and has Approved some after Hospital Discharges.  But the Guy HUMANA was sending, Wendell, was Filipino, not White, and was only Approved for Three Visits, which, are now done.  So, this Agency is all we have as far as I know now that should be coming, the PT will come Twice a Week for now from them.

I was able to Order my Sun's Eye Nag Champa Essential Oil from a Seller on E-Bay who gave me a 20% Discount.  I just haven't been able to get to Old Towne's Historic District of Downtown Glendale to get it from The Astrology Store there.  And, their Hours for any of the Shops there now are so random and often Closed when I do drive down the Olde Towne Main Street.  So, it was also Free Shipping, with the 20% Off it was Cheaper than the Astrology Store and more like a Wholesale Purchase if you bought multiples, so I got Four.  

That should last a long time, you don't have to use much and a little goes a long way.  It's all I've ever used and is a Signature Scent for me and has been for Decades.  Lots of people of all Ages ask me what it is I'm wearing coz they Love how I smell.  And Men can wear it too, it's an androgynous scent that is neither Male nor Female.  A Bottle this small can last over a Year and costs less than Ten Bucks from the Right Seller.  With the Price of Gas right now I have been resorting to ordering Online and having Free Shipping, to Save Money.  Usually I prefer actual Shopping, but the added expense of getting there and time taken, is now prohibitive and more sacrificial.

Well, by about 3:00 p.m. we found out who the Mystery OT White Guy was and who sent him, which Agency he is from.  We didn't have him on the Schedule but the VA sent him and since The Man's Cellphone went on the Fritz, that's the only Number he had to try to Contact us.  So, he just showed up again, like he had last time.  Turns out his Name is also John, but unlike Filipino John, whose a Home PT, this White John is an Occupational Therapist.  I asked what's the difference between OT and PT, turns out the OT is to help with regaining Function and Balance, PT is to help with regaining Strength.  After so many Hospitalizations and long times spent in Bed and not moving, you require both.

White OT John is very Young and also very Athletic looking like Victor is, and did the Exercises right along with The Man too.  We liked him, but he had this Voice that was like a Hypnotists Voice, so low and soothing, you could almost fall Asleep while listening to him, it's so Relaxing!  *LOL*  He looked like an Abercrombie & Fitch Male Model actually!  *Winks*  So, we had The Man doing more OT Exercises and he did very well with those too and was kinda Showing Off that he could do them.  He can be quite competitive still, it's a Guy and Male Ego Thing I think.  *LOL*  He got a lot of Positive Feedback from this Guy too, like he had from Victor, so that Encouragement went far, and it wasn't patronizing at all.  It is hard for him to do these things and they know this.  This Guy will be back Tomorrow Morning too.

The Young Prince hasn't been doing Well at all since Allen left, I was afraid that would happen.  Getting the Divorce finalized and paid for has been dumped squarely in his Lap and he's not competent enuf to do any of that, nor does he have any income.  Guardianship and Representation are necessary in his condition, potential Alimony based on Health, there's no property distribution in their Case since Allen let him move out with everything they pretty much had.  It had all been bought for The Young Prince anyway and Allen didn't want it.  I don't know how successful Alimony is collected, even if awarded, since Arizona is abysmal at collecting Child Support awarded after Divorces or Abandonment of Parental Duties/Support by an Absentee Parent.

I was Awarded Child Support, I only ever got any FROM SOCIAL SECURITY or SSI Payments Exes received when The Daughter's Bio Father got in a near Fatal Car Accident that permanently Disabled him and he began Collecting SSI for himself.  So I did get some payments for a few Years of her Childhood.  And I began getting back Child Support Payments for The Son, for the 18 Years my Ex never paid them, when he turned turned 68 and began Collecting his Social Security, so THIS Year!  Our Son we had together was 39 by then!!!  But, better late than never, tho' what a lark it is to BEGIN getting your Back Child Support when said Child is almost Forty Years Old!!!  *LMAOROTF*   Yes, I WAS Surprised, but pleasantly so, when the Checks started coming from Child Support Enforcement and my "Child" was 39 Years Old!!!  May my Ex now Live Forever, so I MAY get Paid Back all he Owed me for the 18 Years of Unpaid Child Support!!!  *LOL* 

The Son didn't think it was Funny, he doesn't quite Share my Twisted Sense of Gallow's Dark Humor.  The Man and I think it's fucking hilarious!   Coz, wait for it, Child Support Enforcement couldn't ever FIND my Ex-Husband, even when he was Serving 27 Years without Parole in Maximum Security Prison!!!  Even tho' we TOLD them his Location and Prisoner Number there, coz I kept Track of that Fucker for my Family's Safety and Well Being!!!  They claimed they STILL couldn't Locate him to Collect!  That's how ineffective they are at Collecting from Deadbeat Parents or trying to locate them!!!  You can't make this shit up!!!!!!  I'm not even Guardedly Optimistic my Grandson will even get an uncontested messy or inexpensive Divorce now, let alone Alimony Support, since he cannot Work, has zero Income, and requires Full Time Caregiving.  And he cratered now Mentally.  *Le Sigh*  But, we all kinda have under this amount of Stress, Strain and Pressure of what's going on beyond our Control.

I've been so distracted with all that The Man's Extreme Caregiving is requiring that I can't fixate on The Grandson's Extreme Caregiving as much as I want or Need to.  Plus, he's quite resistant to Caregiving when he's really Derailed Mentally and will lock himself in his Room and just tell you to go away and leave him alone.  It agitates him and magnifies his Paranoia if you press it too hard, so I tread softly so that he feels Secure and Safe enuf to be approached about how he's doing.  He will communicate how Unwell he's Feeling, even thru a Locked Door.  But, I prefer having Access to SEE how Unwell he is, and we work on that constantly  His Mom is similar when she goes Off the Rails, and her Schizophrenia is getting Bad, only she will just Disappear and not come back for Days, perhaps Weeks, sometimes it's even been Years... off and on.   She's been Disappearing for Days on End lately, but has at least been coming back relatively doing Well Enuf.

She even came back carrying Trash Bags full of Clothing people she knew gave her and Money from having Cleaned their Homes or Groomed their Pets while she's been AWOL.  Sometimes she just seems to Need to be Homeless again just for briefer periods of time now she's almost 50, becoz it's most familiar and "Safe" Feeling to her than being Housed anywhere that the "They" she Imagines are always out to Get her, might be able to Find her.  Nobody knows who "They" are, she can't tell you, coz it's mostly hallucinatory.  We have Blackout Blinds in the 5th Wheel, but if she has to be in there Alone, it sometimes still Freaks her Out enuf she'd rather be roaming Nomadically Unhoused for a little while to throw "Them" off her Trail.  Okay then.  We Roll with that, and when she Feels she's able to come back, she does now.  And she often comes bearing Gifts.  *LOL*  Her Forties have been much easier than her Teens thru Thirties ever were for us.   I Celebrate the Small Victories.

So, it's been really, really very much The Three Ring Circus with my Flying Monkeys at Forever Boheme's Big Top.  *Eye Roll*  The Son has at least been less Bipolar or acting severely Autistic now he's back to Work and his Employer is so Impressed with him that they're giving him more and more Hours already and raving about his Work to all his other Co-Workers.  At least his Co-Workers there don't Hate him for it and appreciate having an "Older" Guy showing them all how everything could be more efficient and productive, they're all so Young and inexperienced, but he said they're Nice Kids and he likes them and has become rather Paternal to some of them.  We Joke that pretty soon they'll be Calling him "Dad" or "Zaddy"?  *Bwahahahahahaha*  Now THAT'S Funny, I don't Care Who you are!!!

Princess T has been telling me more and more, that THIS Family of ours is absolutely Mental, she spends a lot of time away at her Boyfriend's House to get a Break and be around "Normal".  I understand.  She's the Closest One to being considered Normal, tho', by far, she isn't either and she's Aware of that, and I think sometimes it scares her that she may devolve into similar Insanity as she gets Older, as the rest?  *Le Sigh*  I can't say she won't, and Rusty is an Introvert and Quiet, but she says he has mentioned that he knows she can be Nuts, but her Family... well, I can tell we kinda Scare the Poor Guy sometimes for this level of Unwell going on around here 24-7 and 365!  He will come over, but he's always got this look of a Deer caught in the Headlights while here.  *Smiles* 

After all, he WAS present when the whole Meltdown happened between The Daughter's Crazy Ex-Boyfriend, Mando, with him and our Son and Grandson.  If you're "New" here, The Man was IN Surgery for his Heart Attack when that transpired here at The Asylum {aka: Home}, so I was getting a Play by Play on The Phone while I waited in the Hospital Surgical Waiting Room... Fun Times!!!   Nobody got Arrested, Mando got his Ass handed to him coz he foolishly initiated said Fight and had become a Stalker.  And it was concerning coz I think that Guy is not Well and not just from the Cancer, but Mentally he's Fragile as fuck too.  So, he and The Daughter together were just not Working Out when Crazy and Crazy gets together, it's generally a Race to absolute Insanity... but the Crazies do attract to one another, I ain't gonna Lie.  You may even Visit the Ole' Blog to Witness how Crazy Life and People CAN get?  Coz I offer Full Transparency here at Bohemian Valhalla Blog to get a Glimpse into The Insanity.  *Winks and Smiles*

 So, The Son and The Grandson, felt that The Daughter was in Danger from this Guy, or he'd be if he made her Snap completely on his Ass?  But she isn't Well enuf to disengage from Dangerous Situations, of which she's been in many coz her Judgment is impaired.   And him showing up here all the time made it so The Son and Grandson "disengaged" him instead then, and made it clear it Needed to stay that way and don't ever show up here again, for any reasons.  He's not been back since, tho' he has done some Phone harassment off and on.  But he backed off when I went Mental and sounded positively Demonic over the Phone last time he called.  The Family said I sounded like I Channeled Lucifer, mebbe I even did??!  But the Point was well Taken by her Crazy Ex-BF apparently. *Winks*

The Young Prince did venture out of his Room at 3:00 a.m. this Morning so I was able to assess him and engage with him about how he's doing?  He actually was Washing some of his Dishes, so that was encouraging.  BUT... He's not doing Well, but Therapy never helps, Psyche Meds don't really help much either,  tho' he does have Medical/Mental Health Coverage FINALLY for the Indigent.  *Whew*  And he conveyed that he's told Allen he'll agree to a No Fault Divorce but only IF Allen Pays for it being done here in Arizona, so, he claims Allen will cover that Cost, I don't have to.  Well, that's Progress, but we'd still need to procure a Divorce Attorney and I don't know how complex that will be or if they'd take on a Case allegedly being Paid for by an Estranged Spouse living in another State who SAYS they'll Pay for it all???

We'll see how all that Plays Out, and right now our Grandson isn't competent or Well enuf to enter into anything Legally binding and that's my concern.   A Guardianship Ad Litem might all Need to be Legally Procured first... and I don't know what Attorney might think it Fair or Properly Representing their SMI Client to agree to a No Fault Divorce either?  This will be as fucking complex a Case as Adoption of him was for me and likely as unaffordable for anyone.  Had The State of Arizona not assessed him as completely Unadoptable and Paid for it in the End, I couldn't have come up with the Twenty Grand or so it ended up Costing over 3 Years!!!  

😒 And that didn't include his Sister's expenses for Adoption, and she was considered very Hard to find Adoption Placement for, he was considered Impossible to find Adoption Placement for.  And I was a willing Volunteer, so, the State cut and ran, hiring some Fancy Scottsdale Attorney to wade thru and finalize that mess in a very Creative kind of way.  As you may recall me regaling you all with that extreme Creativity that the Court System twisted it all into to push it thru, in all my Adoption Paperwork and on the New Birth Certificates, I became a Single Woman... which, I'm NOT... but, becoz The Man was Non Compos Mentis due to his Condition and requiring Full Time Caregiving, he couldn't Qualify as an Adoptive Parent at all. 

 And they Needed to somehow remove him from the Proceedings... and so they have me with my Maiden Name and as a Single Woman, to accomplish that Farce.  The Man thought perhaps it meant we were or had become Divorced, I assured him we had not, it was an Adoption Only Formality.  But, Twisting the Law into a Pretzel isn't as uncommon as you might think.  And, so, it was Blessed by the Powers that Be and tho' it confuses the Fuck out of anyone looking at said Legal Paperwork, Birth Certificates, and my ACTUAL Legal Status and I.D. which does not match it... well, you get the picture.   I am Legally now Officially Mom to The G-Kid Force, Grandpa is still Grandpa Legally, their Mom is now their Sister and their Uncle their Brother.  *LOL*

 I am concerned my Grandson's Divorce will end up just that Messy in Reality to push thru any Court System?  Tho', perhaps they will, who fucking knows?  Anything is possible now with this Justice System from what I'm seeing playing out all the way to the Supreme Court now, so, anything could happen, no matter how Crazy a Decision comes out of the Courts, any of them.  And I don't Care so long as I get the results WE Need and get it all behind us coz then you can Move On.  Right now we can't Move On and it's questionable whether The Grandson can get all his Services or SSI Approved if still a Married Man?  Even tho' a Financially Abandoned one by his Spouse, and having to remain Estranged for Safety Reasons... and so Ill he cannot Support himself??!  And I've had to resume his Caregiving since Allen could not manage it apparently.

The Son was assessing that whole Situation and said, well, I can't Fault Allen, I couldn't handle that shit either, Mom, and I'm glad you can, coz I will not if something happens to you.   Splendid.  He Loves his Nephew, but they tend to Trigger each other and always have, so, it's doubtful that The Son could ever become his Nephew's Caregiver even with the Best of Intentions and all the Love in the World anyway.  So, Princess T realizes this whole shitshow gets handed to her to figure out when ever I Cross Over, so she said she would prefer I just become an Immortal.  Poor thing, she's NOT kidding... and Legally we gotta get that Living Trust shit also Paid for and set in Stone Legally as well.  Everyone on Team Forever Boheme' said they'd chip in to cover that Expense.  *LOL*  So, there's lotsa Legalities to get hammered out.

*******

Each Day is a New Adventure with no dull Moments... Dawn... The Bohemian