I Can Be A "Mean Sober"

 I saw an Older White Lady at the Park Today walking her Pit Bull who had longer and thicker Dreadlocks than me!  She came up to me and said she'd never seen anyone else "Like Her" with Dreadlocks, and we both Laughed.  Coz you don't see a lot of Older Adults or Seniors with them, especially Anglo looking ones.  And she was a Blondish-Brown Haired very Pale complexion Gal, clearly a White Woman, very attractive, probably in her Mid 50's, so considerably Younger than me.  Her Dreads were Magnificent, she had very thick hair and it was down to her Hips with lots of Wooden Beads festooning them.  I had Dreadlock Envy I told her.  *Smiles* 

 Her Pit Bull was muzzled, not coz he's mean towards People, but he doesn't much like other Dogs and they always wanna approach him if their Owners just assume all Dogs like each other and are Sociable among their Species.  Nope.  He was a Handsome Specimen and she was Tall but Thin, I'd guess Vegan {Winks}, so if he got aggressive she'd be hard pressed to hold him back.  Another Middle Aged White Couple were there with their Pit Bull, also a very Fine looking Dog, and the Friendly type who was aching to go greet the Unfriendlier one, but his Owners were responsible and had him Leashed too and up under Control.  So, there was no Situation and Dreadlock Gal was just letting her Dog get wet in the Splash Park to Cool him off and get a Drink during their Walk.

There's lotsa Dog Walkers at that Park, even tho' it's one of the few Parks that is very nice, but does not have a "Dog Park" built in to it, most do now so folks can let their Dogs run around Unleashed but contained.  With Facilities for the Dogs specifically too, like Drinking Stations and stuff to leave Pee Mail at.  *Smiles*  Tyson just Loved going to the Dog Parks, he's a very Friendly Sociable Pit Bull and has never met another Dog he didn't Like, or even a Person he didn't Like, he's almost too Trusting and docile really, he'll even let Birds pick on him and steal his Kibbles.  *Ha ha ha*  And the Grackles do Torment him when he's visiting sometimes and have even perched ON him, it's hilarious!  That's how Unscary Tyson is to other Animals that Sense his Personality isn't Threatening, even tho' he LOOKS fierce and intimidating.

I can't even say Tyson is all Bark and no Bite coz Tyson rarely Barks either, he's a quiet and very disciplined Animal, completely Lovable.  I'm not even a Dog Person but I ADORE that Great-Grandpup and miss him.  It was nice to see him again when Allen came to Arizona recently coz Tyson is getting quite Old now, and nearer End of Life.  He's had a considerable amount of Health Issues, a lot of Pit Bull Breed do, too much inbreeding to get the "Look" that Human's desired.  So, a lot of them also aren't long lived as a Breed either.  Ten to Twelve is the Average Life Expectancy and Tyson is there already.  Mostly coz Allen has spent a Fortune on Vet Bills to keep him piping along, he Loves him like he's his Child... which, he is, they become part of the Family.

This is my Industry Friend and Designer Jackie, I haven't seen her in a while, so don't know if she's still at any of the Local Haunts Selling now?  She's no longer at "Sweet Salvage" and some of the other Shops and Antique Malls she Sold at have Closed now.  Last time we talked was at her Cousin's House in the Historic District.  We've Lost so many good Shops and Antique Malls in recent Years.  So, some of my Industry Friends have had to move on, some even moved to other States that still have a stronger presence of what we do.  Some parts of the Country still appreciate The Good Stuff, other parts don't so much anymore.  I don't know it will ever make a comeback in my Lifetime now, I doubt it?  What's Hot and what's Not is subject to Change without Notice tho', hard to put your Finger on the Pulse of it anymore really.  I used to be able to Predict some of the up and coming Trends and what would increase in Value or decrease in Value... now, it's too random, the Market too fickle and inconsistent, so I just can't anymore.

I think now it's more Tied to what folks can Afford rather than what they wanna Invest in as an Asset.  If it's Cheap now, that's all that matters, even if it's Crap and no Investment at all or never will be an Asset, coz it was never meant to be and the Buyers don't Care.   And that's also why so many folks have no Assets and only Liabilities, they didn't Invest in anything with and of Value.  If you just Buy Cheap Crap, then you have nothing to fall back on coz it's worthless and always was and always will be.  I always advise people to Invest in the very Best they can Afford at the time, then Trade Up to increase their Assets and reduce their Liabilities.  But, most people don't participate in Investing at all, no matter what their Incomes are, they don't put any percentage of it into Investing in what will be an Asset to them now or in the Future.  And so when they end up in Crisis, they're screwed.

Today when I picked up Princess T from Work they'd just put out Four large Vintage Trolls from about the 1960's Era, with original Clothing.  With my Discount I got them for only $3 each, which is a Bargain Basement Price, so Color me Happy... I was giddy with Excitement when I saw them.  Online or at Antique Malls they go for $30-$100+.  The One with long Yellow Hair is a Bank and has Coins still in it, I'd like to see which Year those Coins are from if I can get them out of there.  {See them Below}

They are large, but not the largest Trolls, I wanna say this Quartet is about Eight Inches Tall each and were probably produced by Uneeda Wishnik Line in the 1960's or Dam Line of the same Era.  The Banks of that Era tend to be from the Dam Troll Line of Denmark.  And the Style of their Felt Clothing was very common Wardrobe for many of them.  The longer Yellow Hair Bank One is a Female Troll and the other Three are Male Trolls.  

 

One of the Neighbors was getting rid of one of those fancy Total Gym Workout Benches and so the Kids took my Truck to go down and load it up and bring it Home.  One's like it are around Three Grand.  But, The Young Prince said it's got Hundreds of Pounds of Weights built in to the back of it so there was no way that was getting loaded into the Truck, they may try to get a Dolly to go get it by Hand later on.  We've got Company right now showing up for a BBQ too, The Son and The Daughter each invited Families they know, to have a Pool Party and BBQ they're Hosting.  The Man and I don't have to entertain anyone, all the Young People know that he just got out of Hospital and isn't up to it and I'm too tired for too much Socializing and don't wanna be a Downer.  I've been Tired all day, kinda recovering from what activities I've had and dealing with the Medical Crisis for the past Two Months.  We had Asian John, The Home Nurse that HUMANA was providing, come and Release us from their Home Care since the VA is providing much more than Medicare does.

Medicare provided 3 Visits at a time and then has to re-evaluate, the VA isn't restricted to that and provides what he requires without constant re-applying for it after a Hospitalization, and the Need for Rehab.  I will give the VA kuddos for that, compared to Medicare.  I wouldn't get Approved for as much as The Man Qualifies for so I'm Thankful I don't require any of it and he's the one that does, or, it wouldn't be Covered.  What Medicare, HUMANA, TriCare won't Cover, the VA often will Cover for him, mostly becoz he's a 100% Disabled Veterans and has more than Earned the Benefits provided.   And it is Helpful to keep him Well enuf we can provide his Care in the Home, rather than them trying to find Placement that we certainly cannot afford and they'd have to Pay for, coz we can't.  It's crucial to keep him Ambulatory and keep his Strength up, that's been a struggle with so many back to back Hospitalizations where he was bedridden and recovering from Serious Health Crisis.

The BBQ went well, I didn't have enuf Steaks to feed so many, so everyone had brought Hot Dogs with them and we had Beef Ones {since The Grandson can't eat Pork Products}, so we did Hot Dogs.  I went out and briefly visited with everyone, Love all these Young Adults, and one Family brought their Two Young Sons, who are very well behaved and Adore The Man and I, calling us Gramma and Grandpa.  The Children are Swimming, the Adults are around the Pool so they're not disturbing The Man and I.  I'm kinda worn out from Stress and Working, they understand.  I just don't have it in me to Socialize right now, I've taken 3 short Naps all day and that was before 3:00 p.m.!!!  Which, that's ridiculous, coz I'm still feeling tired and emotionally exhausted too. 

 So, I don't feel like trying to be Social is not going to just be more tiring for me right now.  So, I'd rather not, even tho' the Company is great Company and usually I enjoy these particular Guests visiting us.  They don't get the opportunity to often, due to their own commitments, personal demands on their Time, and Work Schedule.  Being Outside Today is glorious, it's not too Hot and has stayed in the 90's with a Breeze that's Cooler, which is highly unusual for the end of May.  So, the Weather has been really nice and you can spend more time Outside and Dining Alfresco comfortably if you want to.  Which is what the Adult Kids and Adult Grandkids, and the Guest Children are all doing.  Only The Man and I ate Inside and the Kiddos Served us, it was good and I'm not doing any of the Work, they're doing all the Cooking, Serving, and Cleanup.   They even Bought all the Food, between The Son and the Guests, who provided everything for it, so it was no expense to us either.

I got totally Freaked Out coz I think we Found the big Scorpion that Stung The Man, it had crawled into a Clothing Hamper and I spotted it, Thankfully!!!  Someone could have gotten Stung by it just doing Laundry if it had been in the Clothing rather than clinging to the Canvas Hamper Fabric!  *Whew*  The Son and Q promptly caught and Killed it for me, I was Freaking Out... so unexpected, it's been a Bad Year already for Dangerous Spiders, Red Water Roaches and Scorpions.  We have Exterminators on Retainer and they come regularly, but with Scorpions you almost have to just eliminate their Food Sources coz effectively Exterminating them is almost impossible.  They don't come inside often, but when they do it's scary stuff.  It was unsettling to find this one even tho' it could be the very same one we've been trying to find, you can't be sure.  I hope it is the Offending one that Stung The Man and now we know we've neutralized it's threat.

I got my Dutch trio of Loving Brocante that I had Bought Online from an American Seller.  International Orders have too much in the way of Tariffs and Postage that exceed the Cost of the Magazine, so it's a ridiculous added expense.  I no longer Buy anything International due to this Regime's ridiculous Tariffs imposed on all of our Trading Partners.  And, a lot of things you just can't Buy here in America, or there's a limited amount of Sellers in this Country to obtain it from.  I was Lucky to find the only American Seller I could find to obtain this Magazine.  Which is a Beloved one I used to Buy from "Barnes & Noble" Bookstore in English, but they quit making the English versions and I don't mind the Dutch versions coz I Buy it primarily for the Imagery of the Decorating Style and Aesthetic.  I would have liked to have bought all the Issues she had For Sale, but I could afford Three for now.  They were Issues 1, 2 & 3 of 2025 and she included a small Ephemera Surprise Gift in each Issue!

I had the weirdest Dream, I'm still trying to make sense of it.  Nothing particularly foreboding about it, except for someone's new White Escalade getting very damaged by getting hit while parked and the Offender just driving off before we could get a full license plate number.  The Offender was in a Company Work Truck and we didn't catch the Name of the Business either, but it looked like one of those Utility Company White Trucks with lots of Cable in the back.  What was most unusual was just who was in said Dream, all people we know, but not usually those that show up in Dreams.  And don't show up very much in Person either, not recently anyway, so I don't often think about them.  So I do Hope all the folks who showed up in said Dream are okay and haven't had any Vehicular mishaps?   Some are Friends via FB too, but haven't posted much since 2025.  I don't know if any own a new White Cadillac Escalade or not?   Those are about $134,000 New now tho', so you would be shitting Kittens to have someone damage it in a Parking Lot and just take off!

Dreams aren't usually that specific either for me, it wasn't even like a Dream, it was like I was Awake watching what was happening clearly, which is why I remembered it upon Waking and it bothered me.  It bothered me during the Dream and it bothered me upon Waking and realizing it was just a Dream and NOT really happening!   Ah well, Moving On, now that I'm Awake and Blogging about it.  *Ha ha ha*  I did get to Sleep In to just past 7:00 a.m. coz it's Sunday and nobody has to go to Work on Sundays.  The Son had misplaced his Wallet AGAIN so was in a tizzy last Night after the BBQ.  He misplaces things all of the time and personally, I feel it's not so much due to his Autism, as it is his Drinking, he needs to cut back.  But an Alcoholic be doing Alcoholic shit when it comes to Drinking and they already know they should do something about it.   And when he does something that upsets him about whatever it is, my first thing to say is, well, were you Drinking?  So that it hits Home to him that the Drinking Squares with most of this upsetting behavior, or relationship issues.  Don't partake and it will likely NOT happen.

His Sister is an Alcoholic too, neither of them took my advice to stay away from the Fire Water and Why they should.  Young People will set their own Path regardless of Elder Advice and Wisdom, often Learning the Harder Way by Experience Teaching the Lesson instead.  But, she doesn't have as many Problems when she Drinks as he does and makes for himself.  It's even harder to tell when she's Drinking, with him its painfully obvious and he imagines it's not and we can't tell.  *Eye Roll*  We can tell.  *Bigger Eye Roll*  He knows he's much more likely to Trigger me under the influence, I do not Like being around Drinkers who've had too much or anyone using any Drug except Marijuana.  I have too much PTSD about both.  Substance Abuse Issues of other Loved Ones has been a Generational Curse passed along, not with all of us, but with some Family Members who fell into using either Drugs or Alcohol, and became dependent and/or abused it.  Whether Prescription or Illegal Drug Use, it can become as much of an Addiction as Alcohol or Gambling.  And just as damaging.

 I don't Drink, I don't Drug, I don't Gamble... so I don't like it Negatively impacting or interfering with my Life and disturbing my Calm, or even Dealing with it as someone else's Baggage they chose to let complicate their Lives.  I don't choose to have it complicate mine.  So, the easiest way for you to meet Dark Dawn is to even be anywhere around me under the Influence in a way that will Set me Off like a Time Bomb.  I have Zero Tolerance for Alcoholism and Illegal Drug Addiction, or being reckless with Money... just keep all that baggage in your own Lane, don't bring it into mine to cause collateral damage.  But, The Son has always done the most for his Dad and I when we Need Help.  And he feels overwhelmed by that Responsibility so I did tell him I can see that Stress weighing on him and he Drinks to Cope, which isn't actually Helpful, but, I do Understand our Coping Mechanisms aren't always Healthy or Ideal, mine aren't either.  So I did tell him we'll have another Family Meeting to make the rest realize, we need to know now, are they willing or even able to Maintain this Property even now, let alone later as an Inheritance?

 

Above is my Brother's Oldest Son, last time I saw him he was 2 Years Old, he turned 40 in March and is 3 Months Older than The Son.  I did find him Online and have talked to him once recently, he is Married, lives on the East Coast, has a Son and a Daughter, says he grew a Beard after he got out of the Navy.  He's a Disabled Veteran so didn't get to make a Career of it, which is always a harder transition to be Medically Retired.  But he's a Project Manager now in a Civilian Company and doing well, he sounds exactly like my Brother, their Voice similarities are eerie actually.  I did let my Brother know I'd been able to find his Oldest Son and make contact, and now my Nephew has my Number and I told him he's Welcome anytime to visit or call.  He was very interested to know more about his Paternal side of the Family, he was very Young when his Parents Divorced, he was probably in his 20's when he Found my Brother, he had been looking, so I knew he had Interest.  Didn't know how he'd receive Contact and it was great it was so well received.  We talked for quite some time actually.

I took The Man with me to do Environmental Cleanup this Morning.  He just sat in the Truck and I did a small Park, then took him out for Lunch.  The Son was doing all the Yardwork, and melting down Emotionally coz his Sister, Nephew and Niece were not here to Help him out and it's too much for him, he gets overwhelmed doing it alone and he is under a lot of stress, as are we all.  I understand, it's too much for me to do alone either, but last time I helped I took a Fall so he said his Dad and I shouldn't even HAVE to do any of it anymore, not with Two Generations Living here, they should be doing it all FOR us.  That's his Outlook and he gets upset with them all when they don't or won't, or are always off doing whatever and in their "Bubble" of their own desires and activities, or Helping other People, when stuff Needs to get Done around HERE and it's left up to him to get it Done, with no Help.  He has a Point, and why we'll have another Family Meeting.  *Winks*  Anyone who Feels too "Unwell" to do all they CAN AND ARE ABLE, better Apply now to go Live in a Group Home or make other Arrangements.  Coz I will not become an Immortal, so, be Proactive now about what Future you'll end up with.

The Daughter has done a lot, off and on tho' she can't Stay Put and has always had a huge problem with not WANTING to have the least Responsibility that being Homeless always afforded her.  With her level of SMI, it's how she's preferred to Live actually, and every so often, no matter how nicely she has it Living somewhere "Housed", it's too much for her and off she goes to resort to the Nomadic Displaced Life.  She's kinda moving in that direction again and her Brother knows that, and had Hoped she could Settle In here enuf to have a different normalized Life... I dunno, she may not have the capacity to.  The Young Prince, also a Schizophrenic, has Function Issues, big ones, I foresee if he cannot apply himself more to take care of his environment and himself, he'll end up in a Group Home or Mental Institution Full Time.  He knows I don't want that for him and so he's trying to be more Functional, it's a Challenge.  Some of his 7 personalities with having D.I.D. do better than others, his Schizophrenia is often really tormenting to him and interferes with quality of Life, Function, and Relationships.

 I don't want that for him, but I have to make him Aware it could be his Future, so he has to show us he can be Functional Enough to remain in the Home?  I'm sure it's what is in part, causing his Divorce Situation?  Allen couldn't Cope and even with the best of Intentions, it's a Forever Caregiver dilemma... when is it time to admit you cannot provide their Care anymore?   Princess T takes Care of her own Space and does the most Financially to Help and is the most Responsible of them all, and the most Functional despite her levels of Disabling Factors and Special Needs.  But, she doesn't do a whole lot to Maintain the Property, mostly coz she doesn't Cope well with how many are here.  Yes, she Loves them all, but, she feels each of them should be less of a burden to the Collective.  So, like her Uncle, she has legitimate Concerns about what Future exists for each Loved One, given what each's Forever Baggage is... including his {her Uncle}, and including her own, once we're Gone?  Scary Stuff every Family faces who has a seriously Disabled Loved One, one Aging Out, seriously Physically Ill Love One, or one with serious Mental Illness.

And the UFC Claw on the South Lawn of the White House, how much more White Trash can be made of The People's House?  OMG!!!  What can go Wrong?  Allegedly it's "Free", that Fool is always about The Money and The Grift, so I hardly Believe he's being benevolent with this Fiasco.  He has 1/3 of the Tickets for allegedly the Military, 1/3 for VIPs, and 1/3 for WH Staff only.  So, it's not exactly being done for the American Taxpayer at large, at all... no Tickets for them.   And, is the UFC gonna REALLY Pay for it all?  Or are the Taxpayers gonna get stuck with and end up having to Fund this Vanity Projects for Donnie's Birthday really? Just like the Donors who aren't exactly Paying for the Ballroom... or the Vanity Arch... the Gilding of Statues... unnecessary and unapproved Wars... illegally imposed Tariffs... so on and so forth Ad Nauseum that he keeps sticking the American Taxpayers to Pay for REALLY.   He's blowing thru and Stealing our Tax Money and the Funding for Agencies designed for our use and benefit, on the Daily now.  

I took The Man out for Lunch to "Crab 99" again, this time I had the Fried Shrimp with their Specialty Fries and The Man had the Fried Scallops Basket.  On the way out we Won a POUND of Fried Craw Fish on our next visit!!!  Whoop Whoop!  You never Lose when you're leaving and spin the Wheel upon exiting after your Meal, you will Win something, they make it super Fun to eat there.   Last time I Won the Store Gift and Choice of one of the Adorable Plush Toys of Seafood Creatures, I chose a Crab.  But a Pound of their Fried Craw Fish is a Big Win coz last time I had their Craw Fish Po Boy and it was excellent.  The Man had the Fried Shrimp Po Boy last time and I liked how that tasted, which is why I ordered a Fried Shrimp Basket this time.  And he wanted to see what their Fried Scallops were like, they were excellent too.  The Tempura Style Batter they use is lovely and Seasoned nicely.

Our little Waiter Robot was speeding off so the Pix of it was blurry.  It helps the Human Staff and says the most hilarious things to Staff, like, "Quit blocking my way... give me some room... the Front Door is Open.".  *Smiles*  And to Patrons it says things like, "Here's your tasty Meal, enjoy...".   It's a Fun place to eat, the Atmosphere is Trendy and reminds me of Fun Marketing that a lot of Asian Companies lean towards, to make everything an enjoyable Experience.  Their Batter is probably some of the best I've had in a long while and their portions more generous than most other Seafood Restaurants.   We got there at 11:00 a.m., just as they were Opening and before it gets crowded.  They're still having their Soft Opening at that location near us, they only Opened this Month.  It's right by the "Sprouts" I go to so I did my early Monthly necessities Shopping for June coz they had a Sale on all of what I'd be Buying.

Omar's Brother stopped to tell us they have another Bee Hive in one of their Front Trees, but this one seems to be a Honeybee Hive and not the more aggressive Africanized "Killer" Bees like last time they had a Hive that was attacking and stinging everyone.  We know it's Honeybees coz once it heats up, they aren't active, and they don't mind noise like our John Deere, nor are they aggressively attacking anything like the Africanized Bees definitely do if you are anywhere near their Hive... they're hyper territorial and will Kill any living thing they perceive is a threat or annoying to them.  I'm relieved this is just a Honeybee Hive.  *Whew*  The Son had to use the John Deere and had no problems with them.  *Whew*  I talked to The Young Prince already, with his Uncle present, about what we're gonna discuss with every Family Member.  So, communication openly is how you work things out beneficially.

Anyway, The Young Prince said he's on Board with showing we can cooperatively Maintain this Property by many Hands making the Work lighter.  He could tell his Uncle is feeling stressed and not Coping, worried about The Man, Maintaining everything here for us, just a lot is going on personally to make it very stressful for each of us.  I know my Brother probably has about 3 Months to Live too... he's opting out of the implant of a 4th device which might give him longer... no guarantees... he already has 3 implanted devices... the 4th one would be a Defibrillator and he doesn't like the limitations it has where he can't be around any Magnetic or Electronics Fields like too close to a Cellphone, a Computer, Microwaves... he just feels if Quality of Life is greatly diminished, Quantity of it hardly matters.  So, he's made up his Mind not to have the Surgery this time and the implant.  Even having to remember to be 6 inches away from his Phone or anyone else's just seems intrusive to Daily Modern Life.

I know that The Daughter has been staying away a lot so she can spend time with people who are no longer Welcome here at our Home.  That's her prerogative when she's not bringing them around here.  But, the whole Family had concerns about these associations who exploit and take advantage of her.  Now that she's finding small Paying Jobs, we know these Parasitic Types will help her spend her Money to benefit themselves.   And she can't manage well so then ends up with all her Money gone that she's worked very hard to Earn, being she's not really Employable at regular Jobs, we try to protect her from Predatory Types of people who aren't really 'Friends' and exploit everyone by pretending to be.  Mando is one, we know she's likely not cut him completely off, tho' she should and he knows he best not come around here anymore.  

Becky Bump is another one and her Nickname says enough about why.  She's known Becky since they were both very Young Teens and got into The Life, so a long time of Drug Addiction.   I don't know that Becky has ever been totally Clean tho', at least not prolonged.  And I don't Trust her.  I don't Trust anyone still a Junkie.  It's just that Simple, you can't and you shouldn't either.  Even someone Clean a long time can relapse, and many do, but if they're being Clean a long time, they can Earn Back some levels of Trust, but they do Need to cut off anyone they know whose even Questionably still in The Life.  The Daughter finds that hard to do, she has compassion for even her Friends who still might not have attained Sobriety.  I've known Becky Bump most of her Life, and it's not a dislike, I just know how she is and that Bad Company always Corrupts even Good Character.  And Becky Bump has broken any Trust we might have had with her, so now, she's Unwelcome... Mando too, for the same reasons.  They can't be Trusted... and I do Wish that The Daughter would cut them both off and out of her Life.  That has to be her Choice.

She knows folks who didn't cut her off or out of their Lives when she was Using... and so I Get It.  I did cut her off and out when she was Using heavily, and until she got Clean, she knew until she got Clean, I just HAD to and didn't make any exceptions.   It's why The Son got Clean... he knew he couldn't have a Relationship with me if he stayed a Junkie, I didn't want one if you choose the Drug over Family.  And I'm firm about that, it's your Choice to make... you can't have both... you choose one or the other.  I'll always have Love for you, but I don't want you around wrecking everyone around you with your Addiction to something Illegal and Dangerous.   I don't like that Alcohol is Legal actually, coz Alcoholism ruins so many Lives and so many Families, anyone who has an Alcoholic in their Lives knows exactly how much collateral damage is caused.   But I can take it a little more than Drug Use and Abuse... not much more, just a little more if you Drink in Moderation.  Once you're Drunk, you know to stay the Hell away from me tho'.  I can be a "Mean Sober" to anyone whose too Drunk and is foolish enuf to be around me in that condition, let us just say.

*******

It's been a tough day to move thru, but, we're up by Faith and know it will Hold... Dawn... The Bohemian