If You've Chosen Not To Be Part Of The Solution Then You Are Part Of The Problem

 Princess T wanted to take her Grandpa out for Breakfast the day after Father's Day to Honor him.  Like him, she has Social Anxieties, so, she didn't want to go when it was crowded ON Father's Day.  So, we went to "Wildflower Bread Company" and it was a nice time.  He was more well behaved when it wasn't so much sensory overload.  I apologized to him for getting angry about a Dementia related behavior he's slid into and I found it hard not to personalize, when he Checks Out while you're Talking to him and not Listening or even pretending to.   He didn't like me Shutting Down and no longer say anything after I just gave up after not being Heard.  So he did try harder to stay engaged with us at Breakfast and behave.  So, it was a nice Father's Day After Breakfast.  *LOL*

I'm not trying to be unreasonable or punish him for Disease related Behaviors that are just hard for the rest of us to Cope with.  We all move thru it as best we can and it is very challenging.  There's no Training or Support any Family receives on how best to handle and Care for a Loved One deteriorating at Home and having the full responsibility and expense of their Care.  You don't get Time Off, it's not a Paid Shift for you, there is no Vacation from it, there is no Respite coming, you live it 24-7 and 365, you muddle thru it, all of you in your own way, trying to Cope and provide the Best Care you are able to.  I know I feel woefully inadequate to juggle it all, balance it with taking Care of the rest of the Family and myself too. We try to split the responsibilities between us some, but, we're not Staff, we're Family, and you lose your Role in many ways to become a Caregiver too.

You no longer have the Role of Wife, Husband, Daughter, Son, Grandchild, when you're having to Primarily be in Caregiver Role instead.  It's hard to explain if you haven't had to do it.  And the person being Cared for can no longer function in their Role within the Family of Wife, Husband, Daughter, Son, Grandchild either.  Due to the progression or condition of what requires them to need full time Caregiving and not much, if any, Independence and Function anymore.  When you're a Paid Caregiver and it's just a Job, and you aren't Invested in the Person you are Hired to Care for, it's a completely different dynamic.  Than when Family are forced to Deal with it sans any Professionally Trained Present Help or adequate Resources.

To say you get overwhelmed and pressed above measure and beyond strength at times would be an understatement.   There is always the concern, what if you can no longer meet them at their Point of Need, what then?   Long Term Care for most Families isn't financially even a remote Option.   You literally would have to liquidate every available asset and be damned near destitute to Qualify for your Loved One to get placement that is Covered.  That leaves all the rest of you royally fucked and with nothing left to meet anyone else in the Family at their Point of Need.   I don't think any American Family should be left Bankrupted and Destitute in order to receive Long Term Care Coverage for a Loved One they can no longer take Care of at Home.   And if you can't Pay, and your Insurances don't or won't cover it, well, your Loved One is unceremoniously left in your Care anyway.

I think the Cuts to Medicaid are gonna worsen the situation for those who did Qualify.   A lot of Nursing Home Residents are having their Care covered by Medicaid.  They had no resources or Insurance Coverage to receive and Qualify for Medicaid in the first place, so, where will they go if their Medicaid Payments and Benefits just stop?   These are questions we'll have to answer with Cuts being made, becoz they will have Real Life consequences in Real Time, with no Plan B Solutions even being discussed.  Even tho' we don't Qualify for so much, I don't begrudge those who do manage to Qualify for Services and Benefits they desperately Need.  The Criteria is often complex on who Qualifies and whose Denied.   And each Case and circumstance is unique, there's no monolith.   And it's always Social Services Programs that are slashed first, since, the most vulnerable and marginalized of Society don't have Political Clout.

So, Today it was 117, even Toastier and a Heat Warning in effect.  While waiting at the Convenience Store to meet up with The Son after Work, where his Co-Worker drops him off, the nice Young Clerk let me hang out and wait inside.   He was saying he had Property in Show Low, but there's no Work up there so he had to move down to the Valley and endure our Summers to find Employment.  Small Town Arizona just doesn't have the Jobs for the Young People, so they have to Migrate to the Cities.  He was commiserating with The Son's plight with an Older Vehicle, since he's had Car Troubles and drives a 1999 Vehicle, since he can't afford Car Payments either and has been limping it along with constant Repairs.   He's had Two Radiators replaced so far and expensive Air Conditioner Repairs, all due to the Heat.

I don't have a lot of Pixs of my Dad as a Young Man and none of him as a Child, since, growing up on the Rez they didn't have a lot of necessities, let alone luxuries like Cameras.  And my Parents, early in their Marriage, didn't own a Camera until borrowing an Old Brownie Camera when I was a Young Teenager.  So, we didn't have a lot of Childhood Pixs either.   The few that exist are precious to me and there are no duplicates, so I've been trying to Photograph some and put them in my Photo Archives to be Preserved in case anything happens to the Originals.   The Above Pix is my Dad on the Day my Parents got Married, he was 23 Years Old and had been in the Military since he was 17.  He Served 27 Years and Married Mom while Stationed in her Country of North Wales when they still had an American Military Base there in the very early 1950's.   My Dad Love being Stationed Overseas and getting to experience different Cultures and their People.  He was usually the only Native American most had ever seen in their Lives or would ever see again.

Father's Day and Mother's Day are harder for me now that my Parents have Crossed Over.   We always made it all about them, I never really made Mother's Day all about me even after I became a Mother, Grandma and Great-Grandma. The Man really never made Father's Day all about him either, even tho' he's a Dad, Grandpa and a Great-Grandpa.  So long as the Elders were still Alive we made it more about them, with a multi-generational Celebration together, but principally them as the most revered.   It does feel kind of Weird to now be the Elders and Oldest Matriarch of my Family.  *LOL*  I just don't feel that Elderly yet.  *Smiles*   I fully enjoy the privilege of growing Old, in many ways it is the most Liberating time of your Life, and I like being my present Age, it's a privilege not afforded to many and I don't take that lightly.  I am the most comfortable in my own Skin than I've ever been and my Priorities are more focused and refined.  With Age comes Sage Wisdom I didn't posses before and can pass along.

So, yeah, I didn't even get a Post Pix up of my Beloved Dad ON Father's Day coz it's still too Emotionally Raw for me not to still have him here on this side of Time and Eternity, even after all these Years.  I fully realize not everyone had exceptional Parents, I was fortunate to, in spite of their limitations and flaws, they were the best Parents on Earth as far as my Brother and I were concerned.   I don't mean Perfect Parents, but the most Loving and fiercely Protective Parents you could ever Wish for.  There wasn't a Day growing up that we didn't know how Beloved we were and how much they were willing to Sacrifice on our behalf.  They wanted us to enjoy more Success and Prosperity than they ever had.  I did know how much they did without so that we could have while growing up.  We didn't even realize we were rather Poor, becoz they always made it seem like we were Rich and had a Good Life.

 

I remember watching my Dad cut out and put Cardboard inside his Shoes becoz they had Holes in the Soles, so that he could Buy me a new Pair of Patent Leather little Shoes that I wanted and would soon outgrow.  I didn't realize until much later that my Mom used to help Dad with his Reading and Writing or Testing, becoz at the Indian Schools the Kids were taken from their Parents, sent to Indian Boarding Schools, put to Work like indentured Chattel and it was called an "Education".   While they were simultaneously Colonialized, Indoctrinated into 'Killing the Indian while Saving the Man' Mentality, and made to feel their own Culture, appearance, way of Life, language, and forms of Worship, was Savage and Wrong.   My Mom understood this becoz something similar happened in her Country to the Welsh and other Gaelic Peoples of Great Britain under English Rule and Oppression.   My Mom remembered a Teacher, all of which were English, breaking her Fingers with a Ruler in Grade School becoz she was caught speaking her own Language in her own Country.

My Gran-Grand never went to School due to his part Romani Heritage, so he was illiterate, but could speak Three to Four Languages fluently, tho' he couldn't Read or Write in any.   He waited in the Parking Lot of the School and wanted to fight that Male Teacher that harmed his Child, had other Relatives not stopped him.   My Maternal Gran-Gran was not a Man anyone dared to trifle with.   My Paternal Native American Grandma was the same, a tiny but Fierce Woman, tough as Old Boots.  I think the Adversity they all endured and the Sacrifices they all made has paved the way for all that Future Generations have now been afforded.  I am Grateful for that and why I am a fierce Advocate for Human Rights, we've come too far and fought too hard to just roll over and let them be taken from us now.   There is an existential Reality that we're not quite Okay anymore here in America... we aren't who we say we are unless we assess the Mess we're in.   Can we still be Courageous and aspire to be better collectively?

I received the Box Lot of Antique Canning Jar Zinc and Milkglass Lids I Won from E-Bay, the Seller included more than what I'd Bought, which was Sweet.   I washed the dirt off them since they were Fresh from the Farm, but only a single One was missing it's Milkglass insert.   They'd listed them as being imperfect but I Loved the Patina and none of them wasn't functional, they all had their Threading intact to screw onto Mason Jars.   Some were in better shape than others, but none was a disappointment in the condition they were received.  I had paid less than Fifty Cents apiece, the extras sent Gratis lowered even that low Price.  I almost always find the Lidless Vintage and Antique Mason Jars, so I always Hoard up the Lids when I can get them at the Right Price Point.  These all came from Rural Pennsylvania, where I'm sure they're more plentiful than here in Arizona.

Color me Happy, The Man was asking what the Hell I Bought that was so heavy?!  *LOL*  The Boxes weren't that Big but they were substantial in Weight.  *Winks*   And they were packaged well so that none got damaged in transit.    There was only One Auction I didn't Win, seems Bidders got into a Bidding War and I always back off when I see that, nothing I need to overpay for just becoz someone else wants it more and is willing to overpay and run the Bid up to Win it.   I think some Bidders get carried away when Bidding at Auctions and get caught up in the Moment, probably exceeding their original Budget to spend?   I like the Buy It Now Feature for that reason, I use it often just to eliminate competition and Bid Warfare from breaking out.   Usually the Buy It Now Feature is a little more than the Teaser Opening Bid amount that draws Bidders in and you probably won't Win anything at that Teaser Price.  I've even had to complain to E-Bay in the Past when you Win at a Teaser Price and then a Seller doesn't perform to Sell it to you at that Price you Won it at with their Set Opening Bid... and then Re-List it.

The Daughter made some more Desserts using the Puddings and Fresh Fruit.  This time a Cheesecake Pudding with Fresh Cherries, Nom-Nom! {See Pix Below}  It was a nice combo of flavor profiles.   I made Corn-On-The Cob, steamed, and she also made a loaded Baked Potato for our Dinner.   Nobody was very hungry with it having been 117 Degrees Today.  I watched some random NetFlix stuff, nothing worth noting, I wasn't very focused to get into a Series, I have to be in the Mood for that.  Lately my Attention Span is compromised.   I had intended to go in to our Showroom and package some Lots of Rubber Art Stamps in Clear Rectangular Polyethylene Art Swag Containers.  I have the Containers ready and Priced, but have to fill them now with Rubber/Wood Art Stamp Selections.

By the time it Cooled off enuf to venture Outside I didn't feel like going to the Antique Mall, too Tired and it was now too late to get much done before they Closed at 9:00 p.m..   I have my Doctor Appointment Tomorrow Morning, good thing I looked at the Calendar coz I'd thought it wasn't 'til Wednesday... and so I'll take it all in to the Showroom after that Appointment, which isn't far from the Antique Mall.  Tuesday Mornings are usually deserted in there so I shouldn't get any interruptions from Customers or other Vendors... all Body Parts Crossed.  When I'm in there to do Work I don't like interruptions but you can't be rude to folks, it's bad business.   Some will take up a lot of your time wanting to just talk or visit tho' and if you got things to do and a limited amount of your Time to do it, you can't get much done then.  I've been Guilty myself, so I'm not Judging the Customers or other Vendors. 

I should Price more than Art Supplies, but right now that's what I'm Selling a lot of, and T-Shirts, and some Toy Collectible Smalls, so that has to be the main focus.   My last Paycheck was meh, I want to do better this Pay Period if that's possible?   The Mall did squat for Father's Day, just a 15% Off Sale which didn't stimulate Trade hardly at all and gave no incentive for the Dads to come in.  It used to be the Mall did really great Trade Stimulating for Special Days, like giving away Two Gas Grills for Father's Day in a Free Raffle every Dad could enter and you didn't need to be present to Win.  In fact, one Year The Man Won one and we still use it to this day.   Now they don't do shit and it shows, since, on Father's Day there was hardly anyone there Shopping and I'd only Sold a few items.   Even leading up to Father's Day they didn't do anything to entice Families to want to buy Dad a Gift there.  And there's a wealth of Product Dads would like.

Anyway, so, Father's Day was a bust and there was no Buzz there or Energy, so, Sales predictably flatlined.   You can't Sell anything to people who aren't even there, you know?   It seemed a lot of people did what we just did, take Dad out for some nice Meals and keep it Simple.  I still think folks are Economically Fearful of what the Future holds with all this Chaos and uncertainty that nobody can predict or have any calculus on what they should do with their Businesses or their Personal Finances.  This Administration is Schizo in making decisions about all their Policies. Off again, on again, contradicting themselves, doubling down, they don't seem to know what they're doing and it shows.  There is no consistency to any of it and no Method to the Madness that makes any Economic Sense or offers any Stability or instills any Confidence.   Economists and Business Leaders can't project anything with certainty or accuracy, it changes so fast and so often, seemingly on a whim or Mood.

They waffled and relented, after Big Donors told them Deporting Farm Workers, Hospitality Workers, and Food Distribution Workers would ruin those Industries and leave them without replacement Workers, that they wouldn't Target them with ICE Raids.  Then within 24 Hours they contradicted that and said No, we're Doubling Down and gonna Target them more now after all!   And then they've said they'll mostly Target Blue States, which says all the Quiet Parts out Loud of what the Real Agenda is, and it ain't about Immigration at all.   I also found it hilarious that it is reported that during his failed Birthday Parade Spectacle they played CCR's "Fortunate Son"... were they Clueless about what those Lyrics represented if they chose it intentionally, or just too Stupid to realize, if it was slipped in there, that it was mocking them and sending a Message about Classism?

Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Hoo, they're red, white and blue
And when the band plays "Hail to the chief"
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no senator's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, no

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord, don't they help themselves, Lord?
But when the taxman come to the door
Lord, the house lookin' like a rummage sale, yeah

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no millionaire's son, no, no
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, no

Yeah-yeah, some folks inherit star-spangled eyes
Hoo, they send you down to war, Lord
And when you ask 'em, "How much should we give?"
Hoo, they only answer, "More, more, more, more"

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no military son, son, Lord
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, one

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no military son, son, Lord
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, one

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one, no, no, no
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate son, no, no, no
It ain't me, it ain't me...

I remember that Song being a Vietnam Era popular Anti-War Protest Song about the War and about who was only sent to Fight it and Drafted.   And those that got out of Fighting for their Country due to their elite Privilege.  Like the current Draft Dodger in Chief who faked bad Feet coz he had a rich Daddy who could pay off a Doc to fake a Disability he has no evidence of even to this Day when he's almost 80.   Ironic how he grew an Ear back too, in his  late 70's, after that faked Assassination attempt, with nary a Scar evident.  *Eye Roll*   And now Real Assassinations of their Opposition are being done and their side are making Jokes about it on Social Media, how crass and vulgar is that?  I think that Shameful disgusting Utah Senator Mike Lee should be expelled from the Senate and all his Staff should Resign, lest they be Guilty by Association of what he said and did.  If you Stand With someone like that you have no class or conscience either.

Anyway, the Far Right has clearly shown who and what they are now, so anyone still standing with them is no better than them and has no excuses for pretending otherwise.   It's not even about Politics, the Behavior now is so vile it's about Character and having no Moral Compass or Honesty at all.  I don't even know how you'd turn that around into a Positive?  I just know that the violence and vitriol is out of control now and everyone involved should be accountable for their part in it.   With no consequences evident it will surely spin even further out of control and it's already completely spun.   I don't think there are sufficient Words to condemn it actually, sometimes I'm left absolutely Speechless.   And that ANY Support still exists is completely abhorrent and Sick.

And speaking of Sick, I got a Sick Kiddo at Home again.  *Le Sigh*  She's been having a lot of Gut Issues lately, even tho' she's usually pretty Careful about what she eats.  Of coarse she has chronic Issues with her Health too and this is about the Season she suffers from them.  I just Hope her Employer doesn't decide she's had too many absences?  They've been really understanding about it so far, but, they are a Business and need Employees to be reliable to cover their areas.  Right now they're short-staffed anyway for all the people who've quit and found better Jobs, so perhaps she's Golden for now?  She is a really good Worker when she's Well enuf to be there and they can tell how frail she is, even on her best day, she doesn't look like the most robust Human.  When everyone else is sweating bullets she's wearing a Jacket or a Hoodie, bundled up, becoz she gets so Cold so easily.  Most of the time when we go to Restaurants I have to keep a Wrap handy for her to wear, she has such Cold intolerance and not much Body Fat. 

The Daughter's Trucker Friend from Mexico may be showing up since he's got a load heading that way and has promised her a ride there.  I think it's Time she go back for a break from things here.  There are some of the people she reconnected with that aren't the best influence and I don't want habits she broke to be risked picking back up.   One Gal in particular we've told not to hang around our Property.  I've known her since she was a Wild Teenager and tho' she's in her Forties now I am not convinced she's making better Choices and doing anything Positive with her Life?   She's one to show up at ridiculously Odd and Late Hours, I don't want people around that think that's Okay.  What are you doing with your Life anyway that you keep such Hours?   I don't think I wanna know and I also don't want it around here and my Family, period, and have made that clear.   The Daughter can be sneaky as well, so I told her if I find someone sneaking here, that I've told not to come around, it will be the last time they do.

  

The supposed Ex-Boyfriend hasn't been around as much and if she goes to Mexico and stays a few Weeks, I think some of these Undesirables will possibly just fade away in the interim.   With The Daughter, due to her Mental instability and deficiencies, out of Sight usually also means out of Mind, which would be a good thing with some of these people.   They profess to be 'Friends' but I see no Positives to what they bring to the table for her and she often doesn't see it like the rest of us do.  Both The Son and Princess T had expressed concerns about certain people they felt were sneaking here to see her after they think everyone has gone to Sleep.   One got caught doing it and The Man said that's how people get shot, just to get the Point across that Trespassing, especially at inappropriate Hours, is how you come to harm or get Arrested, period, so, don't do it!!!   Our Neighbors too look out for us and would confront a Trespasser or call Police on them.  They know we don't invite people at ridiculous Hours.

 

When it has happened lately, The Daughter is either already Asleep too, or not even Home, so I am not even sure they have any Invitation?   I don't Trust people like that and they're not Welcome here, I don't Care how they Feel about it.   Some of them I didn't Care for when they were Younger and I haven't Changed my Mind about them.  *Winks*   Most only found out The Daughter was back in America via the Grapevine. Since, she had no way to contact them or know what was going on with them, they hadn't been in contact in all the Years she was in Mexico, she doesn't own a Computer and now hasn't owned a Phone in Months either.   I let her use my Phone to contact the people I approve of and I can check the History of all those Calls and Contacts whenever I want.  Plus, those folks don't have to be sneaky, they're people we approve of.  When I don't approve of you, you'll know it and can't say you aren't aware.  *Winks*

When you are the Caregiver or Parent of a Vulnerable Adult you have to look out for them and for those that would take advantage of them or exploit them.  I really scrutinize and assess people, my judgments about you may be harsh, but they're in the best interests of me and mine.  I really don't Care how anyone Feels about that or if they Feel unfairly assessed.   You'd have a real challenge to Prove me otherwise, I've been around the Sun enuf times to be a pretty damned good Judge of Character and Behaviors, plus, I've seen a LOT in my Lifetime, I'd venture to say, more than most.   Coz if it walks like a Duck, and talks like a Duck, it's probably a fucking Duck.   I do think it's humorous how many Undesirables actually think they're Shining you On and putting on an effective facade that Fools people.   I can't say I've never been Fooled by someone whose an adept Chameleon, but it's Rare.  And as a Collective, if you manage to Fool One of us, you're NOT gonna Fool ALL of us.

The Son has been in The Life for many Years before he got Clean.  So he was in and belonged to the Streets a long time and knows whatssup, and if you're probably still with at least One Foot in The Life, even if you're trying to pretend you're not.   The Man used to work Undercover Narcotics and infiltrated and busted dangerous Outlaw Biker Gangs when he was a Cop, in between his long Military Career, so he also knows whattsup for those who Roll with that Life too.   I grew up and lived in Da Hood long enuf I can spot the Usual Suspects.   Princess T grew up in Da Hood long enuf she can too, so we're not 'New'.    I don't always blame someone for their Pasts, but their Present is very much scrutinized and on my Mind when I meet you and decide whether I want you around or not.   And these days even some of the most unlikely people might be involved in some Shit, that's just an unfortunate Fact.   And I don't want their Shit spilling into our Lives in any way, shape or form.  Handle your Shit and don't bring it around.

Other than that, everything is Swell.  *Bwahahahaha*  I think a hiatus in Mexico will be beneficial to The Daughter and I've discussed it with a couple of the Friends there who will be looking after and out for her.  They think so too, given my Intel about some people I don't want her around and seem to be going all Baby Reindeer and becoming Problematic to our Family.   Let us just say if those Guys were here in America looking out for her and us, the Baby Reindeer People would definitely cease and desist immediately and no longer be a Problem.   But they just said they'll send for her and let her have a nice Respite there to detach from the people we don't Approve of.   They are Ride or Die when it comes to her and she to them.  When they tell her not to be around someone, she will also obediently comply, she knows they got her Back and don't put up with Problem People.  They got Solutions to Problems.

 

As Comedian Joey Diaz has said, if you're gonna be Skating on Ice, you might as well Dance.  *Bwahahahaha and Winks*   In case you've never seen the Comedy of Joey Diaz, you should, even his True Life Stories are hilarious and you can't make that Shit up that he's been thru in Life.  Our Stories ain't even THAT Good compared to his, and we got some Stories! He once had a Stepdad in the Bronx that shot a Guy in the Leg at a Santeria Party... and threw the Gun in the Hudson and then nobody ever Talked about it to this day, I kid you not!   Joey has seen some Shit in his Lifetime and Childhood, and done some Shit too.   He'll Joke that with this Crazy Political Climate he's Glad he's a Convicted Felon and can't Vote.  *LMAOROTF*   With all the Crazy Shit Joey has seen and done, for him to think this Administration is out of Control, speaks Volumes my Friends, Volumes. 

Even The Daughter says that this Regime is more Corrupt than any she's seen Strongarming in Mexico, which, also speaks Volumes, coz she's seen a LOT.  She said she Feels Safer in Mexico now than she does in America!   Especially given what's playing out and how they're randomly Kidnapping and Disappearing whoever they want here and the way they're doing it out in the Open in broad Daylight, often on Video!!!   She said if they pick you up in Mexico, Kidnap and Disappear you, it's coz you definitely did something to at least deserve that drastic an outcome.   ICE is doing it to just anyone and you didn't have to do a damned thing, they're just filling 3,000 a Day Quotas at this Point and it doesn't matter who they round up to meet it!!!   

And people ought to be way more Concerned about it than they presently are.  Even with the great Five Million Person Turnout to Protest No Kings Day... it needs to be more than Five Million against this Shit and more than just a Day of strong and noticeable Resistance.   We got 340 Million Americans, give or take... just sayin'... so there's still lotsa Non-Participants evident.   I don't know what it will take to tip those who don't wanna get Involved to become Involved, but, after America circles the Drain and we're all Toast, will be too Late to the Party my Friends.   And I'm not being hyperbolic in the least, this is now a Five Alarm Fire without adequate Response and Action, and those who are Acting like that's somehow Normal and doesn't require Action are Deluded or part of the Problem and will never be part of the Solution.

*********

If you've Chosen not to be part of the Solution, then you are part of the Problem... Dawn... The Bohemian