Sunday, June 30, 2013

Faded Frayed And Fabulous

I Love it when I find the Time to go check out a New Shop I've never been in before and Discover yet another Awesome Location that has Found Treasures I Adore!  Such was the case this Month when I visited FADED, FRAYED AND FABULOUS located at 4809 North 7th Avenue, which you might remember as the Original Location of 'Sweet Salvage', so it'll be really easy for you to find.

As I walked thru the doors I had one of those OMG Moments as I beheld this Magnificent Huge European Primitive Cupboard!!!  WOW, if only Bohemian Valhalla had large enough Rooms and high enough Ceilings!  This is a Rare Find this side of the Ocean, though I recall them being in many Historic European Homes!
In fact, the Selection of European Country Primitives was Impressive and I Loved them ALL!!!  Including the predominant Color Palette of Seafoam Green and White, which always looks Lovely in a Country Kitchen and definitely gives is that Vintage French Country Vibe that is so Popular.
In fact, you could Outfit an Entire French Style Kitchen in one fell swoop!  And Proprietess Donna Street just got back from Europe and brought back a forty foot Container of Primitive Antiques for the Shop!!!  So I can't wait to go back and behold all of the New Inventory!!!  Thanks Donna for letting me know the New Inventory is just in!
There is also a wealth of Beautiful Architectural Salvage... like this Awesome Slag Glass Church Window.   You know how Ga-Ga I am about Stained Glass and Slag Glass Architectural Salvage!  This was another Magnificent piece that took my breath away!
And being the Mad Bohemian Botanist that I am, of coarse I was Adoring this Cloche Display of Beautiful Butterfly Specimens.  *Winks*  I have Dead Butterflies all over the House in various Vintage and Antique Living History Museum Entomology Exhibits.  I'm Fascinated by Entomology... hence the Desire to one day procure one of those Japanese Bug Necklaces or Brooches from 'Vicious Sabrina'!  *LOL*
There were some Fabulous Hand-Painted Pieces as well, like this Chest... which looked like it could have been from Hungary or Bulgaria to me... but I'm not sure of the Origin.  In fact I was on such a Time Constraint by the time I got to the Shop that I couldn't stay as long as I would have liked to.
Loved this Pillow... so very 'Me' don't you think?!  *Winks*
There were some Hollywood Regency Glam Style Furnishings and Vignettes as well... for all you Sexy Divas.  *Winks*
And some nice Warm Organic Hue Vignettes as well as...

The Colorless Palette that is Extremely Popular... so a little somethin'~somethin' for everyone!  So the next time you're Trawling Melrose... stop in and say Hi to Donna and check out the Antique European Fabulousness she has filled the Shop to the rafters with! 
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Saturday, June 29, 2013

I Should Be Pricing Inventory... But...


I should be Pricing Inventory, especially since I will soon need to load up the Newest Showroom and all that... and Princess T constantly Volunteers to Help me do it... but... I've run out of Steam with all the Medical Appointments and it being 115 degrees and all just about every day now, which totally zaps and saps Energy levels of even the sturdiest of us! 
And certainly it's not as if I didn't get some of it Priced and into the existing Showroom... and get most of the New Showroom Painted with the Help of the G-Kid Force... after we did all of The Man and Princess T's Scheduled Testing and Lab Work for this Week.  We got a LOT Accomplished... but apparently I'm such an Over-Achiever!  *LOL*

Those of you who are Over-Achievers too can probably 'Feel Me' on that one... no matter how much is Accomplished and we're Excited and Enthusiastic about... it is still difficult for us to sit back and Revel in it when we're totally Distracted by how much still remains to be Done and Competes for our Focus and Attention... Taunting and Mocking us!

I Wish I could be one who can Focus on all that has been Moved Out, successfully Picked, Processed and Worked on rather than the piles that remain which Scream 'Hoarded Mess' rather than 'Inventory Waiting To be Processed and Offered for Sale'.  *LOL*

Or just Concentrate on and Celebrate those Awesome 'Scores' that I snared for Bohemian Valhalla. Like this Upcycled Rare Smaller sized European Vintage Bottle Rack Converted into a Light Fixture with Edison Bulb that I bought from my Friends Kathye and Ken recently and just Adore because it couldn't be more Perfect!!!  I've been Jonesin' for a European Bottle Rack for ages but they're usually always too Large, no place to put it and too Expensive to Consider.   This one required no Consideration... Perfect Size, Perfect Combined Purpose to Work out, coupled with Great Deal well within Budget!

But I suppose that until my Home looks Orderly and not like a Chaotic Episode of 'Beautiful Hoarders' due to the piles remaining that haven't yet made their way Showroom Bound, I will have that Annoying Distraction.  That Sense that I can't Invite Company over or inside because it's rather Embarrassing that the House is such a Wreck and so much has been deferred, Maintenance wise, due to the multitude of Priorities that have taken Time away from Maintaining it all the way I would LIKE for it to be! 

And though sufficient Inspiration Exists almost everywhere I look, until my Spaces ALL Appear as Inspiring in a Panoramic View rather than the present Essential Close-Ups to Hide what's out of Frame *Winks*... I'll be Obsessed about the Goal of getting it that way and up under Control!  Since a Control Freak Hates to relinquish Control or admit Defeat in Controlling the Chaos... even if a portion of the Chaos is admittedly Self-Imposed following what we're Passionate about and Led to do! 

My Capacity for Living with and in a Mess was Enlarged exponentially when we bought our Dream Historic Property in need of much TLC, Work and Restoration, as most Old Buildings are... and was Expanded further as it became Evident that we would probably have Children in the Home well into our Senior Years if not 'til Death!?!  And I've been Advised by those who have been in the Biz of Small Business Retail Sales that what I'm currently Experiencing with Product all over the place is quite Natural, Normal and goes with the Territory.  *LOL*  It just doesn't 'Feel' that way yet to me I guess!?!

Any more than it 'Feels' Normal or Natural for us to be Eating on the Run so much of the time lately even if it is in some of our Fav Restaurants Enjoying tasty Meals.  Because I 'Feel' like I should be planning and preparing Nutritious Meals at Home while Saving Money.  If only we were Home long enough to be able to Accomplish that... instead of on our way to or at an endless stream of Medical Appointments or at Work providing enough Money to make the ends meet better.  Kinda a Catch-22 huh?
I could and would spend considerably more time Pickin' and Processing Inventory given the Option of doing so.  Working my Retail Spaces, because those are my 'Happy Places' that I prefer to Retreat to and which I can Justify spending Time Doing since it's Profitable and a Blessing to the Family.  As well as being something I'm Passionate about and gives me a 'Break' in a Strange sort of way that only another Full Time Caregiver could probably Understand or Comprehend even though it Looks like More Work.  Because it's something Positive to throw one's self into when the Negatives stack up.
I'm also Fortunate that I Love what I do so it doesn't even seem like Work, and that the entire Family Loves spending Time where I Work and Assisting me as much as they're able.   And I know Logically that there will now ALWAYS be Inventory to Pick, to Price, to get readied to be Showroom Bound... I just have to Embrace and get Used To the Process and have more of a Peace, a System and Organization about it as I become more Experienced at it.
To continue to Network here in the Land of Blog and at Work so that I can be adequately Mentored and Advised about how best to go about it all and what Works... and doesn't Work so well... and Receive the Education Necessary to Refine the Craft of it.   There is still so much that I'm ignorant about... and I'm not certain ignorance is Bliss in this case, because I want to do it Properly, with Excellence and not flying by the seat of my pants.
I'm taking it all in and absorbing as much Wisdom and Knowledge as I can... everything from the Art of Display, to Styling, to Price Point and Bookkeeping.   I know my Strengths but I'm also painfully aware of my Weaknesses in the realm of Self-Employment since it's all so New and sometimes Intimidating to me because it's not my particular area of previous Expertise and realm of Knowledge!  I know what I know and I don't know what I don't know.
There are times when I'm just as Lost as if you'd thrown me in the Kitchen of a Fav Restaurant and asked me to Skillfully prepare the Meal as well as the Master Chefs that know what they're doing and present it to the Hungry Clients with Confidence and everything being Right!  There's a lot more to it than just the Enjoyment of it!  I Love Creating... I Love Pickin' and Rescuing Found Treasures... I Love having a stream of Income coming in again that Helps Support my Family while not having to Sacrifice Time with them or be asked to throw them under the Bus like a Corporate Life often Dictates.  But quite often I'm Scared half to Death of all that I DON'T YET KNOW about Working for myself and of what Succeeding might Cost and Entails?!
You see, I've never been a Fear of Failure sorta Gal... I'm more a Fear of Success sorta Gal.  And I'll tell you Why... a Measure of Success can Demand far more than Failure!  In Previous Corporate Lives I always set Success Goals and Attained them... and there was ALWAYS that Cost that you didn't Factor in or Expect.  There is always a 'Price' to everything and you've got to be willing to Pay it, whatever it is... and decide how much Success you can Adequately and Realistically Handle before the Balance tips or you're in over your head? 
That's a Delicate Balance for me... because I fully Expect to Succeed in Everything I do... and I like to Succeed, I'm Driven towards it in fact... sometimes Wheels Off!  Since Failure isn't a Concern it never crosses my mind that I even could Fail, because I'd just Re-define Success and Adjust accordingly and so that doesn't weigh on my Mind like what level of Success I will be Comfortable with does?  And what will it take FROM me or my Family?  People often warn of the Price of Failure or of being a Loser... but they often fail to warn of the Price of Success or that the view at the Top came at a very High Price and sometimes isn't all that you Imagined it would be.  I could just stay Retired from Work outside of the Home and bide Time until my Pensions kick in from my Previous Career choices... but that's still a ways off and in the here and Now I want to be Productive and help take care of our Family Financially so that we have no lack or diminished Quality of Life Economically speaking anyway.  I know I still have considerable Earning Potential and I Hate to Waste Potential or Opportunity, especially at this Season of Life! *Winks*
And if Circumstances continue to Dictate that we can't be Home as much of the time as I would like to be able to be... in order to do the 'domestic goddess thing'... I'd like to be able to know Gramma has it Covered so that nothing on the Menu isn't an Option when we have to eat on the run rather than have a Home Cooked Meal.  That Seed Money for Pickin' is sufficient to Sustain the Vision and Dream at a Level we can Handle and keeps up with Demand... and the Future is Secure enough that Retirement and Resting on my Laurels doesn't seem like such an Outrageous Fantasy anymore.  Or maybe get enough Stuff out the door that I could hire some Merry Maids and not be Embarrassed to think the Gals would wanna slash their wrists rather than come back again and tackle the Clutter and Chaos that has become Bohemian Valhalla!  *LOL... and Yes, it's Seriously THAT Bad!*
And... even if I have to Work until the last of my days... which isn't such a Negative since I've always Enjoyed Working and don't have any Issues with continuing for as long as I'm Able.  So long as I'm doing something I Love and it Nourishes the Soul as well as the Bank Account... I'm Good with that too.  If you're flowing in Purpose then it just Feels Right and is Pleasing to God.
After all... look at what I get to do for a Living now!  It totally Rocks even if certain aspects of it still Scare me half to Death until I become more Adept at it and Gain Wisdom and a Rhythm to it all so that it becomes Second Nature and no Big Deal or Mystery.
And even though some days I know that I should be Pricing Inventory, but Clearly I've run out of Steam with all the Personal Obligations that have sapped my Strength and Consumed my Attention and Focus.  And so I'll have to get to it another Day...
And Roll with it... just like we have had to do with the Reality that Visiting and spending Time with the Precious G-Kids that live far from us will have to Wait until another Day.  A Day when The Man and the G-Kid Force are all Well enough to make the Trips back East and out of the Country where each of them Lives.  Or perhaps Wait until they can make the Trips here to Visit us one Day instead... it's all Worth the Wait after all... and perhaps they'll even Enjoy Helping Gramma Price her Inventory too and Help get this place in Order?!   There's certainly enough of them now to be a Great Team!!! *Winks*
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian  

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Luxury Of A Melt-Down

This Strange Post Title probably Intrigued you enough to stop by Today to find out why on Earth anyone would consider having a Melt-Down to be a Luxury?!?   Well... it did... didn't it? *Winks*  I know you were probably Curious and so I'll Explain my Logic.  Anyone whose ever been a Full Time Caregiver of Older, Sick or Disabled Family Members for any length of time realizes the need of occassionally Focusing on the Forgotten... which will be YOU, the Caregiver!  You NEED to allow yourself the Luxury of finding a Release for pent up Stress, Emotions and Frustrations so that you can get back to Center and Press on after you'e hit the Wall or Bottomed Out.  Since you often have to Suppress it all and remain Stoic, Strong and Selfless whilst dealing with Daily Issues Caregiving presents like Medical Crisis, endless Appointments and Therapies, and getting Lost in the Minutia of putting others First almost all of the time.
Though Caregiving for those we Love is done from a place of Love and therefore has it's Rewards and is certainly worth any Sacrifices, the Demands are often Heavy once someone becomes Older, Sick or Disabled or was born with Special Needs we didn't Anticipate and might not have felt properly Prepared for... or particularly Skilled or Trained to Cope with... and lack sufficient Resources to handle on our own without outside Help.  Over Time we can become Exhausted and Stressed.  We think we should be able to handle Caregiving Roles on top of busy work and Family schedules and often begin to Feel Guilty and Depressed as our Stamina wanes and we Realize we can't be All That and a Bag of Chips in spite of our Best Intentions!
Since you can't always have the Luxury of Retreating into your Work, your Art, your Blog, take a Vacation, Socialize, get a Respite or Run Away with the Circus if the Role of Caregiving becomes so Consuming it causes you to have no Choice but to Sacrifice most or all of that at times... I have found that I can always throw in the Luxury of having the occassional necessary Melt-Down and it's very Therapuetic.  Though it's certainly not Pretty... I no longer Feel Ashamed for having Allowed myself the Luxury of having one.   Not only does is remind me of my own Humanity and Limits... but it is an Indicator of the same to those I'm Caregiving for that I've reached Critical Mass and need to be cut a bit of a Break from meeting them at their Point of Need for a change and take a Minute to meet ME at my Point of Need as well.

In small doses the jobs of Caregiving are Manageable, but having to juggle competing Caregiving Demands with the Demands of your own Life on an ongoing basis can be quite a Challenge and become all Consuming.  So that your own Life practically doesn't Exist anymore... and that's a tough pill to swallow since Self-Preservation is a Natural Instinct just as strong as Love!  Depending on how long you've been in your Caregiving Role and what Season of Life you happen to find yourself in, the Impact Range can be wide and the Reality quite Intimidating that this probably has no Fairy Tale or Happy Ending.
And so, if I didn't Allow myself the Luxury of a Melt-Down every now and again, I might Retreat so far into Myself that I might never find my way out!  Because though the Facade of  being Stoic, Strong and Suppressing all of your Emotions and Feelings to get through what is Necessary to Accomplish for those you're Responsible for without going to Pieces works for them and what they Need, it doesn't always work for you in an Advantageous way.  Not like a Melt-Down does... there's just something about Keeping It Real and spending Time with your True Feelings and sitting with it all for a while that really works for you in a Healing way.
To just have that mometary big snotty Cryfest, Rant, wallow a bit in Self-Pity and how Unfair it all is, crawl into bed and pull the covers up over your head and refuse to come out until you've had a long enough Nap that your Fatigue diminishes to the point you can replenish some of your Stamina and Strength that has been depleted... and come out the other side the better for having Allowed yourself to be Human and Frail instead of a Caregiving Machine and Superwoman.  {Yes, Stats say that over 75% of Caregiver Support is provided by us Women!} 
I was actually very Glad Today when one of The Man's Therapists at the VA Hospital gave me a handout of Resources for Caregivers and the Stats because it really made me Realize how Valuable we are not only to our Loved ones, but to the Country!   In 2007 alone the Value and Contribution of Unpaid Caregivers was at least $375 BILLION, which is how much it would have Cost to replace that Care with Paid Services!  Thank You... the President and his Staff can Congratulate me Later for doing my part for Saving the Country Billions every Year for over two Decades now, which is how long I've personally been an Unpaid Caregiver!
After reading those Statistics and in spite of needing the occassional Melt-Down in order to Preserve my own Sanity and Well-Being, I Felt positively Saintly!   I spent the rest of this Day Polishing my Halo in fact... well, since I don't actually own a Halo, a Tiara had to suffice!  *LOL*  Every Home should have one... a Tiara or Santos Crown... just so you can Prance around in it and Feel Special when you're Feeling Down or Unappreciated.  I'm Serious, you can't stay Sad, Angry or Depressed when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a Mirror Prancing around wearing one of those!!! Believe me... because you'll look so Ridiculous and like a complete Fool!  *LOL*  In fact, increase the Ridiculous Quotient as much as you can, Humor is like a Good Medicine but with no Pharmaceutical side effects and Positive Madness is way better than Negative Madness I've found!
And after all... we NEED to stay Sane and Centered for all of those we Love, whether they need a Caregiver or not.   And sometimes there is a Happy Ending to what started out as a Sad Story with Grim Prognosis and Depressing Medical Predictions since Infancy... The Son is a Living Testimony to that!!!   There was a lot of Years of Intense Caregiving for Special Needs and just about everyone but me gave up on his Hope for a Bright Future.  And to have gone through so much, to have Invested and Sacrificed so much to Help him get to the place he is now, which Doctors didn't Believe was possible, is such a Reward.   I'm exceedingly Proud of and for him in every way... it makes me KNOW beyond a Shadow of a Doubt that Faith, Prayer and Love combined can Work Miracles because God pays Attention to such things.  And that you can't just look at the Problems and Challenges thru Natural Eyes... but thru Spiritual Eyes as well!
 The Son turns 27 Tomorrow and has headed for Vegas with his Lovely and Beautiful Girlfriend to Celebrate it, I'm so Delighted he has such a Good Woman by his side and in his Life.  We are so Thankful God sent such an Angel into our Lives as a Family.  She's as Beautiful on the Inside as she is on the Outside and we just Love her and Welcome her to the Family. The G-Kid Force ADORE her and she's so Good with them since she's such an Excellent Mom herself and extends that Beautiful Youthful Maternal Love towards them, which they so desperately Need and Crave.  She has given Gramma Dawn much needed Respites when she comes to Visit and spend Time at Bohemian Valhalla. 
Our Son is Godly, Handsome, Talented, extremely Smart, Outrageously Funny, Popular, Hard Working, an Excellent Son slash Grandson slash Brother slash Uncle slash Boyfriend slash Friend.   Those are the 'Labels' I prefer to use to Define him rather than the Medical Labels that identified his Disabilities.  Because I Believe your Medical Prognosis, no matter how Grim, isn't ALL that you ARE or should Define yourself by.  We Focused on his Abilities and learned to Deal with, Control and Conquer the Disabling Factors so that High Function and Hope became the Lifestyle and Prognosis. 
 No, the Disabilities didn't go away or have a known Cure, there are Struggles and Challenges as Miraculous Healing is still taking place and is Answer to almost 27 Years of Continuous Prayer. But anytime I'm even Considering Giving Up, Giving In or Giving Out as a Caregiver, I am Reminded of the Victories and what we've already Survived as a Family in spite of the Hand Dealt and how Daunting the Task.  And it is with that Hope, Faith and Attitude I Stand and Believe can be an Outcome for each Family Member faced with Sickness and/or Disabilities.  Happy 27th Birthday My Son... my Baby! {He Hates when I call him that even tho' he's our Youngest Child!  And Thankfully he never reads Mom's 'Decorating Blog' so that he's Mortified he's ever a part of it! Smiles}  And Thanks for Allowing Mom the Luxury of all her Melt-Downs and for doing all that you can to be such a Blessing... and always managing to make me Laugh and see myself thru your Eyes of Unconditional Love even during the Darkest and Craziest of times... you're an Excellent Son and I Love you more than Life itself!
PHOTOS JUST IN taken during a Caregiver Break the other day... so I hadda Share 'em, so Cute and obviously having such Fun Together!!!:
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Having Moved through the recent Luxury of a Melt-Down and out the other Side more Refreshed, Replenished and Renewed... Dawn... The Bohemian

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Fighting Hopelessness... Expanding The Vision

"There's nothing more they can do... and the Doctor needs to talk to you...", as those words echoed in my ears and trickled into my Psyche Today after The Man's Marathon of VA Hospital Appointments, Time seemed to Stand Still.  Very Still.  I'd had to unceremoniously leave him alone at the VA Hospital inbetween the slew of back to back Appointments he had there, to go all the way back Home and Retreive the G-Kid Force after Summer Camp was over.  Since I had no back-up for them Today, The Son and his Girlfriend had to Work, and I didn't think The Force would fare well languishing all day in Hospital Waiting Rooms... or hear any bad news directly.  So I'd missed hearing it straight from the Source myself.  Maybe that's a good thing.
The Doctor's Talk with me by Phone was akin to one of those Charlie Brown 'Peanuts' Comic Strips where they're in School listening to that faceless Teacher whose Voice just sounds like Trumpet Sounds ringing in your ears {Whaa.. Whaa... Whaa} ... probably because none of it is what you want or really need to hear right now.  At least not if you want to Win the Fight against Hopelessness.  Not if you don't want to 'Receive' even more Medical Negativity... of which there has been a Host of with this Trio lately.
Even though Allegedly there is 'nothing more they can do'... well, it seemed as though they were sure trying to Schedule and Cram in a lot... Speech Therapy, Physical Therapy, Audio Therapy, Pain Therapy, Memory Therapy, Rehabilitation Therapy and Therapies I can't even remember because I kinda Shut Down.  Wondering how on earth I was even going to get him into the City and to the VA Hospital so often for all these Specialized Appointments... along with the Increased Counseling, Therapy and Services Prince R has to Attend... and the numerous Tests, Referral and Surgery Princess T's Pulmonologist wants to Hopefully get Approved and Done while she's still on Summer Break and before School begins again the first week in August?!?
And just to add more Drama to the Mix, my Brother had informed me that Mom had been rushed to the ER again from the Nursing Home with a Severe Infection that had been left unattended and Neglected for too long by the Home's Staff!!!   Yeah, I felt like I had certainly fallen down the Rabbit Hole... I needed to take this all in and Process it without going to pieces.  I bought a Sarsaparilla along with Mom's Humorous Birthday Card, which are the kind she likes... though I wanted to be drinking something much stronger and I certainly didn't Feel Humorous.  But lately I've had to do a lot of things apart from how I've Felt.
I've 'Felt' like the Skin Horse in the 'Velveteen Rabbit'.  Worn Out and Used Up from a Place of Love by those that I know Love me, but have taken all that I have to Give... and I know they Need more than just little Old me and it's taken it's Toll.  'Feeling' Overwhelmed, Exhausted Physically and Emotionally... and certainly on the verge of Hopelessness.  I've had to remain up by Faith and Believe that it will Hold.   I don't care how Spiritual you are, that is easier said or written than Done.  I've cast a lot of Crap on the Lord, at least I know He can handle it... and just be Still and Wait on Him to Act on my behalf.  That Waiting is a bitch.   And those are my words, I haven't found that particular Verse or Scripture in the Bible... but I'm sure there's a parable somewhere equivalent or some Saint was more eloquent about that part of our job as a Believer.
I've found that every time an Opportunity presents itself for a Blessing, to move to the next level in Purpose... all Hell breaks loose too.  The devil sure keeps busy and I Wish he'd go bother someone else instead of camping out on my doorstep running interferance constantly... I don't possess the Patience and Fortitude of Job... though I do Expect at least double for my Trouble as well... it's only Fair!
You see... though there has been too much Personal Drama and Medical Crisis that I have no Control over continuously unfolding at Bohemian Valhalla with The Man and both G-Kids... and certainly I've got to Deal with that as best I can, I've also tried to Balance that with some Positive Stuff.  To Encourage myself by Pursuing the Positive Opportunities that Present themselves and will be a Blessing during a particularly difficult and dark Time in our Lives.   And of coarse the Timing seems all Wrong since the devil has been so busy... and I could be paralyzed by Fear, sidelined and continuously Distracted with all the Crap... had I just not turned it over for the Lord to Deal with on my behalf and decided to move Forward in Faith anyway. 
It seems absolute Madness, but then, the whole shebang has been absolute Madness, so why not have some Positive Madness as well as the Negative Madness... maybe it will Balance itself out better that way, who knows?  I don't know, it's just a Theory I've come up with... I can't even Speculate what the Future holds?  Though Clearly the Medical Community's Prognosis for The Man, The Young Prince and Princess has been particularly Grim and they appear to Expect things to get Worse, I simply Refuse to 'Receive' THAT... since I don't want to be Hopeless or throw in the towel.  I Expect Miracles and Divine Intervention... I Expect Answer to Prayers... and the Lord to have my back regardless of the Outcome of how any of it plays out in the Grand Scheme of things.  Obviously there's a LOT I'm Waiting upon the Lord for in Faith... and as previously mentioned, the Waiting Sucks!
So, I decided that since I cannot DO anything about the slew of Medical and/or Mental Health Issues they all have, since it's out of my hands... I'd DO what I CAN DO and have a measure of Control over... since I'm a Control Freak and all that... and spin the Carnival Roulette Wheel for Financial Peace Goals... going Forward with Expanding the Vision and Purpose I've had in my Spirit and can't Shake no matter how hard I've tried.  Expand during such Uncertain Times... yeah, sheer Madness to be Called to that and have to Step out in Faith and not give in to Doubt or Fear or Fatigue... it's not as if I haven't Questioned the Timing of the Opportunities Presenting themselves NOW of all Times!?!!! 
This has been me in fact a great deal of the Time when I've been pressed above measure and beyond strength... I've been a Beast Emotionally because I'm so Raw Emotionally right now.  I struggle, wrestle and battle such things as Impatience, Depression, Frustration, Hopelessness, Anger, Fear, Resentment and Dealing with too much without sufficient Help... and I Wonder just who the Lord will send?  Are they on the Horizon and how far off? 
Is the Cavalry coming and how long and how much will I be Expected to Endure until they Arrive?  They are Arriving at some point in the Future, right?  I sure Hope so... though I haven't seen any with my actual Eyes, not even a Scout... but as they say, Faith is the Substance of things HOPED for, the EVIDENCE of things not YET SEEN.  So I just stand on my Faith... it's all I have left right now in me... the rest has been spent... too many withdrawals and not enough deposits... Physical and Emotional Bankruptcy has taken place.  So the Financial Peace I desperately need isn't just Monetary you see... though extra Cash certainly Helps... and I've got to Obtain it some kinda way.
I'm certainly NOT Obtaining it watching The Man being practically Comatose and Confused most days in his Recliner... or Forgetting to tell me that the Wheelchair they pushed him out of the VA Hospital in wasn't a Loaner or theirs, we were supposed to take it Home with us because they'd ordered it for him permanently!!!   Yeah, I got THAT news from the Doc's Call just as we pulled up in front of our House over an Hour later!!!   How could I know, there was a line of Old Soldiers in Wheelchairs out front waiting for Pick-Up and nobody told me... and we'd already told all his Docs that our Home can never be made Wheelchair Accessible... that's why we couldn't move Mom in!!!  *Insert Huge Frustrated Sigh!*  Of coarse having lucid conversations with The Man is getting more difficult and rarer, he's talking about things that make no sense to the G-Force or I so much of the time now... and that keeps him perpetually Frustrated, Angry and Aggitated.  So I Hope all these Therapies can Arrest whatever is going on, I don't want to Consider how bad it could get or what we're supposed to do if it does worsen... they haven't Addressed any of THAT yet!
And I'm certainly NOT Obtaining it playing Referee with the G-Kid Force constantly... who find it very difficult to get along and play well with others or behave in a realm of normalcy Expected by most of Society... and so there's always lots of fussing, fighting, disobedience, mood swings, tears and tantrums going on.  The Pulmonologist suggested I get The Princess 'Tested' for Mental Health Issues as well as all the poor Child's considerable Physical Health Issues after her Surgery!  *Le Sigh... yeah, that was another Conversation/Consultation I didn't wanna have or hear!*  And it's not as if I haven't Suspected or made similar Observations myself... as other Teachers and Doctors have also and Voiced.  Considerable Experience and Hereditary Factors haved 'Schooled' me Well in this after all, to definitely Notice and Tune into it... and I know early Diagnosis lends itself to the best possible results even though there's no Cure.  I just wanted to Believe at least for a while that perhaps it wasn't what it Appeared to be and she was just battling the considerable Physical Health Issues.. and it usually isn't Conclusive until a certain Age anyways in the realm of Mental Health Identifying Factors... so just for the sake of my own Sanity perhaps and a Hope for a Brighter Future for her I have been in a Denial of sorts.   The Man and The Young Prince's Emotional/Mental Unraveling and downward spiral have been quite enough for now.
And so I've decided to Obtain it through Working towards an Enlarged Vision, Expanding a Dream, doing what I Love and Feel Purpose to DO, Sustaining Hope, but in a way that still allows me to put Family First and Deal with their Situations daily.  And yet still finding a way towards that Financial Peace... by Receiving Deposits Emotionally, Physically and Financially to Replenish what is being constantly Withdrawn and leaving me Empty and Bankrupt on all fronts.   So when a Perfect Showroom suddenly became Available and I was drawn to it strongly and it just Felt Right in the midst of all that is going so wrong... I went Hard for it... and Immediately Received it... which HAS to be a God Thing the way it all fell into place and worked out in my Favor!  Welcome to Showroom #133 at THE BRASS ARMADILLO WEST... And NO, the hideous Green Paint wasn't me *LOL*... it was left by the previous Tenant... we'll just have a 'Make It Work' Moment as the Transformation will take place!  *Winks*    All that Wall Space to the Right is mine too and was given with the Showroom!
In the midst of so much Negativity it was a Ray of Sunshine, something to Feel Positive, Excited and Hopeful about!  And strangely, there was no Fear or Doubt about it, it was with complete Clarity I made the decision... which was very Strange indeed given the Circumstances and Chaos in my Personal Life right now!   Because obviously the Timing couldn't have been more out of Place and so in my Head had I just been Logical about it, I might have Hesitated and thought up a Host of Excuses and Cons NOT to step out in Faith and just go with what I felt in my Spirit so Strongly.  Spirit prevailed.  I Love that this Showroom has lots of built-in shelving for Vignettes and Smalls... so I can declutter my other Showroom which does not... and bring more Inventory in which has languished at Home because there was no room for it in my other Spaces.
I also liked that except for the hideous half-finished Green paint job, the previous Vendor hadn't done anything to it, so it is a Blank Canvas, just like my other Showroom was... which is Perfect, since I like a Raw Blank Canvas to build my Vision upon.  Things that most View as Negatives I've always Viewed as Positives and Opportunities actually... so Critics have never swayed me.  And look to the Left... see that doorway?  It's part of my New Showroom too!
A Bonus Room with Shelving clear up on all sides to about eight feet high!   And this Awesome Huge Old Industrial Light on a Timer that Illuminates this Room!!! Previously used merely as Closet Storage it's not calculated into the Square Footage so it is indeed a Bonus Room and I have a Specific Exciting Vision for it as Retail Space!
In fact, this New Showroom is Planned to be my Laboratorie of sorts... to Experiment with Design, Decor, Aesthetic, Style, Fashion, Inventory, Art and whatever else I want to go much more Avant- Garde, "My Style" and "Dark" with than my other Showroom, which is doing Well.   But which, isn't Refined and Loosed to totally being "My Style" for Practical Reasons Business wise.  But this Showroom is such a Bargain that I can just do my own 'Thing' with it and throw Caution to the Wind... which is very Liberating as an Artist and Entreprenuer.  
I can allow the Mad Scientist within me to come out and Play... starting with the Colors that will dominate the Room... Black, Antique Gold and White... and maybe some of that hideous Green because I don't do well with Heights and it's a High Room so we'll just Make it Work as Tim Gunn would Advise.  *Smiles*  I might actually start being a hideous Green Advocate who knows?  *LOL, just Kidding!*  And that Vintage Embalming Prep Bottle with a Baby Logo is perhaps the CREEPIEST THING I've ever seen!!!  Yet, Fascinating... in a Morbid Dark Humor kinda way... Thank God it was too Expensive for me to buy since I'm Feelin' very Dark and Morose lately!  *LOL*
Hey, if you're not busy doing Something, you're busy doing Nothing... I suddenly Feel very Free to Go for It... the Lease is Monthly and I have nothing to Lose at this point and everything to Gain.  Not to mention the G-Kid Force ADORE Assisting Gramma in her Retail Ventures and it keeps them Delightfully Occupied and  from having Idle Hands which are the devil's workshop.   So the Young Prince got busy with a Mop and Air Freshner the Morning I Signed my Lease to make the New Showroom Spotless since it was quite a Hot Mess after the other Tenant had moved out... the Images I Shared are 'After' Photos.
They are Excited to be my Design Team... and they Work for such things as Silly Putty and Polly Pocket Accessories... so it's all Good!  *Winks*  After Princess T's round of Pre-Surgical Tests and Labwork Tomorrow Morning we'll head out to the Showroom armed with buckets of Paint... Exotic Gypsy Trim... and the Delightful Scent of Moroccan Bazaar Febreze {which I Cornered the Market on when it was a Seasonal Fragrance before unfortunately being discontinued}.  Stay Tuned for Updates in the Process, Reveal and the Grand Opening of the Positive Madness...
NOTE: Beautiful Dia de los Muertos Skullies Created by The Creative Native, Yaqui Artist Ben Molina and other Fab Inventory pictured can be found at either the Goodyear or the Phoenix  BRASS ARMADILLO Locations!
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl