Thursday, July 19, 2018

Sweet Salvage ~ Where In The World Event

I'm doing something for Today's leading Post of THE SWEET SALVAGE Event that I don't usually do before my Monthly Pilgrimage there.   I'm giving you a Preview before I ever arrive... and using Images taken exclusively by the Talented Photographer that covers their Event for the Facebook Page Previews before Opening Day and while everything is pristine and intact.   This Month's Theme is "Where In The World", so I've been eagerly anticipating it since the Exotic Flair of some Vignettes will be clearly evident and that's just My Style of Decorating!

This will mean I may be more fixated on scouring for Exotic Treasures than focused on my usual Pathological Picture Taking in order to Share the Experience here in the Land Of Blog.  I didn't want to disappoint or short change my Supporters and those who Visit to come along Virtually for the Eye Candy. Thus I'm ensuring at least one Post with Excellent Coverage done on the Inside and before the doors even open on Opening Day Morning!   *Smiles*  I know, it's different than my usual way of Covering an Experience, but a healthy compromise is sometimes necessary if I am not sure I can make it there early enough... or want to do some Serious Treasure Hunting without distractions and dividing my Attention.

I will still have my trusty Camera in hand as I always do, and I may... or may not... get some excellent Imagery of my own... that remains to be seen for any Future Posts of the Event.   I do know that for some unfathomable reasons, lately my Photography has not been on point and so a lot of pixs I'm taking aren't making the Grade to be Shared.   I know that lately I haven't been taking as many photos as I typically do either.  Not that I'm not as Passionate about the Art of Photography as I've ever been... I'm just not 'On' right now when it comes to that Art Form and so my Photography has suffered for it.   That's disappointing when you take pixs and most just don't turn out that well and you're not as happy with the quality of them as you want to be.   I can be my own worst Critic and lately I've had a Critical Eye when it's come to my Photography... lately it mostly sucks and I can't even tell you Why?!?

Of coarse lately I've not felt much like Myself either and pulling myself out of a Funk has sometimes been a challenge.   That's also why I'm thoroughly looking forward to my Monthly Respite of an entire Day to Myself and FOR Myself!   I think I really Need it more than usual this Month... so I'm looking forward to it and not pressuring myself to do much except just Enjoy it... with or without taking the best Imagery of it all.   The heat and humidity being what it has been now the Monsoons are rolling in... and my Health issues... I've just also not felt like standing in lines or getting anywhere way early, which is my usual Custom.   Usually I like to arrive early to anything, get great Parking, be some of the first to get in before things become too Chaotic... but that's when I'm Feeling 100%.  Right now the NOT Feeling 100% has sapped my Stamina and even my Enthusiasm considerably... it's hard not to feel Apathy even about the most Fun Stuff lately.


There have been some days when I've barely been able to wake up and get out of Bed, I've had extreme exhaustion and not been in the best possible Head Space.   My last Doctor visit did not go Well... in fact, in spite of my best efforts to improve my Health, it had deteriorated further and that sucked and was quite discouraging and disappointing.   I cried on the drive Home from the Doc's Office as it all set in even tho' I'm tenacious about being Well and will continue to be persistent about that eventual Goal.   I'm now on yet another kind of injection Diabetic Med so I'm up to several Insulin type shots per day and my numbers and A1C still pretty much suck.   I thought there had been improvements and so it devastated me that the Docs felt otherwise and have put in yet another request for a Specialist for the Insurance to hopefully Approve this time... you know... so we can quit dicking around when nothing seems to be working and my Pancreas seems to be crapping out despite doing everything they tell me to do!   I'm still continuing on a Dietary Path to Wellness of my own, since their Dietician's Path just didn't work at all.

I would like to procure this Phrenology Head Figurine, I've been wanting one for quite some time and Phrenology right now just is very apropos.  I've had to try to avoid getting too far into my own Head lately.   I don't want to overthink everything, I don't want to get so immersed in Bad News or the Bad Vibes of anything or anyone for it to Negatively impact my Daily Walk.   That can be a particular Challenge with the state of affairs lately.   Seems Bad News and Bad Vibes are everywhere... abounding... it's downright Toxic and I'd prefer to remain more Positive... more Hopeful... regardless of popular or public Opinion to the contrary about anything or everything.   I'm finding that I just Shut Down lately when anyone is becoming Negative or just has Bad News to report... I'm at saturation point for all that so I just refuse to Receive it.   That's how I walked out of my Doc's Office the other day, crying at the frustration of it all, having worked so hard to improve things and still getting more Bad News, so I just refused to Receive it.

Yep, I heard it loud and clear, but I don't have to Believe it and Receive it as My Truth or my Destiny.   I'm kinda diggin' this Cambodian Style Buddha Head too... we'll have to see what she costs?    Lately finances have been strained, so I don't intend to go on any spending sprees and indulge in retail therapy just for the sake of it.   It kinda sucks that along with other struggles, that financial ones just add that other layer that is unpleasant.   I'm one of those fanatical stewards of my resources so stretching them is something I can be quite adept at regardless of what comes up.   A lot has come up... helping extended Family has come up... unexpected expenses have come up that cannot be avoided... shit happens... whaddya gonna do?   A part of Life is preparation... a part of Life is dealing with whatever you weren't prepared for... each day can be a new adventure and quite the mix of it all!


On a Positive Note... because I always like to find one... my own Sales have been pretty decent in my modest Spaces at the Antique Mall.  Mostly I've been Selling Collectible Toys, Selling off The G-Kid Force's Childhoods... and Vintage Linens and Retro Kitchen seems to be Hot too right now.   I've been Purging a great many of my Beloved Vintage Tablecloth Collection.  It was a difficult decision to make since it's taken years to amass and each is Beautiful and completely different.  So it didn't matter how many I had, which was TOO MANY... Winks... it's just deciding which should just Go and be Let Go of?   And to keep going thru them and Letting Go of more... and then more... and having it be less of an attachment to the Collection as a Whole.   I cannot tell you how long it's been since I ever bought one since the Collection peaked quite a long time ago and it was just Crazy to acquire more.  Some Collections reach saturation point... mine had... it was time to just Stop no matter how good a Deal I could find one at.

They always Sell Well and I always make Money off any of my Vintage Fabrics, so I didn't mind having a huge cache' of them and downsizing my stash when I felt it was just Time to.   But it has been a Process and one that could become a bit Emotional for me since so many Memories can be tied up in your oldest Collections and the ones you were the most attached to.   I can detach from a lot of stuff when I have to or need to... but some Beloved Collections are harder to detach from.  When you are an Incurable Collector you know that the Desire to hold onto some Collections is just very strong.  That Urge is there to not give them up if you don't HAVE to... but sometimes I just Feel that I NEED to or even WANT to... so the Process begins.    I also know that Sourcing the Good Stuff and especially reasonably priced, isn't as effortless as it once was.  So there is the Knowing that replacement of it, even if you Love having The Thrill Of The Hunt, is going to likely never happen.   So what you Let Go of, is likely not going to be Found again or at the same Bargain that gave you the Rush when you Found that one a long time ago.

I guess I am not your Typical Collector in that I will not pay a Premium for very many things no matter how much I might Love or Collect it.   If I cannot make my Money on the Buy I rarely feel the need to have to have it.   If I feel I'd be overpaying for anything I'd rather Pass on it and just keep looking.   Rare for me to Pony Up and pay top dollar, it's got to be OOAK or incredible... I'm just too frugal to not always think about the back end of any Deal primarily.   If I outlay for something then usually it's because I know the Investment makes sense and value will increase to where it was worth any present sacrifice.   I do have the desire to get the best I can afford of something rather than settling tho', so I'll Save like mad to get what I want, so long as what I'm paying for it isn't unreasonable.   I will almost always try to negotiate my best Deal for something if and when I just can't... or simply won't... pay what is being asked.  I figure nobody has to Sell me anything and I don't have to Buy anything... so it's all Good, you know?  *Smiles*

Right now I'm mos def in a Downsizing and/or Upgrading Cycle at this Season of Life.   I'm getting rid of a lot or refining what is Kept or replaced.   I'm trying to become a better Editor and be a lot more Curated in what remains in our Home.   I feel like I've got my work cut out for me since we've been acquiring for a Lifetime to feather our Nest and at a certain Season of Life that becomes a fair amount to now Deal with some kind of way.    Some may want to die with all their possessions intact and around them, allowing their Heirs to Deal with it, profit from it or dispose of it.   I already know what Inheritance mine would like and what they would like me to Deal with right now in my own way and Timing so that they don't have to later.   If you have nothing or little to pass along it hardly matters what you leave behind... but when you have the Good Stuff that has been acquired, how best to handle that Investment is crucial.   Right now I feel as tho' cashing in on a lot of it is how best to handle most of it right now.

I've still got the 5-to-1 Rule in place, tho' usually I up the ante and get rid of more than five items if one new item comes in.   It's not hard to come up with all that needs to just Go Out if I do Upgrade with something else.   At some juncture it might be, I'm just not There yet.  *LOL*    I am seriously looking at this Vintage European Grain Sack Boro Mended Linen and thinking, what five would Go so as to get that?   *Smiles*   Usually the five I will choose will more than pay for whatever this Cost so in a way it's almost a Freebie as I Upgrade and Refine what is Kept.   It doesn't seem so indulgent to Sell Off stuff in order to fund whatever you might want right now that could pay for it and still have Money left over.   I kinda like to barter with myself that way... want this... what to Sell off now to fund it then?   *Winks*    So yeah, I've eyeballed at least four items I like from the Preview Photo Coverage the Sweet had on FB... but if I come Home with just a single one... that will be satisfactory.   If I come Home with nothing that will be Okay though... the Inspiration and Experience was Priceless and cost me nothing really.

I do see the Killer Pieces that are Swoon Worthy at every Event... even tho' I can't fit another large item, even in this big Home, because we have all the furnishings we want and look good here.   I have no need to Upgrade larger furnishings, a piece would have to be that Fantasy Piece I have been looking for all my Life and at such a Deal I'd be Crazy not to get it, find a place for it, then Sell Off some more Big Stuff to justify and fund the purchase!   *LOL*   It happens, but rarely... besides, when you buy something substantial you really do need the Muscle to get it moved in and I don't have that here.  My large furniture moving days are clearly over.   I'm not really certain how much of what I already have in the way of substantial furnishings are Forever pieces, I know some are... but some eventually may be Sold Off too as downsizing continues.

Some exceptions are... Storage pieces... Vintage Storage Locker Baskets like this, when I can find them Cheaply, I almost always procure because I've always got a good Use for any of them.   I used to be able to procure them for about Ten bucks each, those days are over... so I'm Glad I bought a bounty of them when Salvaged Gym Lockers were abounding and prices were dirt Cheap!  I have Sourced the Number Plates reasonably tho' in recent times... and you know how I am about Hoarding up the Smalls when I can get them at the right price!  *LOL*    I don't know what the Hell I'm going to Number with the Plates one day, but I have them in case I need to Number anything... that's the Logic, or lack thereof, of an Incurable Collector of many seemingly random things!  *Bwahahahahaha!*

And some things are the Dream Items I'll likely never have because it's not practical for the Family and Life I have.  Like a Vintage Chesterfield Sofa replacing the Leather Sectional that makes more sense for this Family to own and lounge around on like we do than the Chesterfield would be.   These are the kind of items that would only be feathering my Nest if I lived Alone and had nobody else to consider except Self.   Those of you who do live Alone can have uncompromised indulgences... those of us with others to consider often have to reach a healthy compromise for what is best or most useful and practical for all... it is what it just is.   I Hope you have enjoyed coming along on this Preview of an Event that hasn't actually happened yet?   It was kinda like having VIP Access and a behind the scenes Preview prior to the doors opening... which is why I always visit the FB Pages before any Event... to see what Sneak Previews have been Teasers to what we'll Experience when we get there?!?  Hope to see some of you there...


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Contortionist Cat... Concert Kids... Dreadful Selfies

I haven't been Pathologically Picture Taking lately and I couldn't tell you Why... so Blog Fodder has been pretty lean lately for the Sharing of Visuals.  But every once in a while The Man or one of The G-Kid Force will run and tell me there's an Ideal Kodak Moment and I grab the trusty Camera and capture it thru the Eye of my Lens!   Such was the case this day, when Miss Priss was doing one of her Sleeping Contortionist Cat routines during her Afternoon Nap on the Sectional!   I swear now that she's semi-retired out here in the Rural Burbs, she's becoming more and more an Inside Cat and less and less a Working Outdoors Cat!   She has kept the Scorpions down to a minimal and all our Wild Lizards Outside don't have Tails, so that's why I say she's only gone into semi-retirement!  At least when she's not asleep, which is almost all day anymore that she is snoozing, she's taking care of business!  *LOL*

She and Princess T have often liked to Sleep together... but when we got the Leather Sectional I had to ensure some blankets went down first so her claws didn't poke holes in it and cause me a meltdown!   Also, I don't want her running amok in the house since she is not an Indoor Cat and can seem to have Panic Attacks if she can't find one of us to let her out or goes exploring and then can't find her way!   She will sneak off the Sectional to search out her Human if Princess T isn't within plain sight... so usually she'll end up Upstairs looking for The Girl in her Bedroom up there if she can't find her Downstairs.  Now that The Young Prince has Ivara, the Chameleon, he does not want a Feline stalking around up there and then he has his Panic Attack about the Wandering Cat!   Princess T had her own Panic Attack Today when some of the Baby Crickets that Ivara eats escaped during feeding time and ended up in her room before her Brother could catch them!  He THINKS he caught them all... aw shit.. well, so long as none of those grotesque Super Worms escape I suppose his Sister and I won't have a Heart Attack!?!

And because he wasn't SURE he'd caught ALL the damned Baby Crickets that had escaped to her Room, Princess T, during her Purge of possessions, re-discovered her Old Sleeping Tent from earlier Childhood and immediately brought it Downstairs to Sleep in instead Tonight!   She waited til I got Home from Work Tonight to tell me she'd spent over 30 minutes standing on her Desk in terror while her Brother re-captured Crickets that were hopping all over her Bedroom!  *LMAO*   I don't think he got them all and I'm not going back up there to Sleep or Play until he does... he came down and verified there COULD BE one left escaped somewhere in his Sister's Room.  You NEED to buy me larger Crickets for Ivara he claims... they're easier to catch when they escape... see how somehow this has now turned into all being MY fault!?!  *Smiles*  So... there will be a Camp Out of undetermined length in my Livingroom until all Baby Crickets are accounted for!  And speaking of length, I think she's outgrown her Childhood Tent by several feet now, whaddya think?   *Bwahahahahahaha!!!*

Some of the Older Kids at Vans Warp Tour, which The Son Won Tickets for from a local Radio Station just in time for his Birthday!   He hadn't gone to a Concert since Ozzfest, where he used to Work Security during the Concert's Phoenix Tours.  This time he got to enjoy the Concert without having to Work during it.   I'm glad they took some pixs to Share of his Birthday Celebration since I didn't get to see him for his Birthday this Year.  I did take him out for a Luncheon several days before it, but he works mad hours so it's difficult to coordinate our Schedules and we live on opposite sides of the Valley too now.

It looks like they had a really good time and got to meet members of several of their Favorite Bands.   I'm not as familiar with some of the Bands now as I used to be when The Son was the age of my older Teen and Adult Grandkids, a sure sign I'm getting Old!  *LOL*   I can't even tell you the last time I went to a Concert, tho' I have attended several Jazz and Blues Festivals.

But it's been a Minute since we even did that, judging by the Ages of The G-Kid Force in this Jazz Festival Photo!  *Bwahahahahaha!*   Okay, so my BFF Tina and I still look pretty much the same... only she's a Burgundy Redhead now and I've got Dreads... and we go way-way back together to the very early Eighties, during our Banking Corporate Lives, so I could probably dredge up some really early Blasts from the Past together.    She's in Town again and was the Lifelong Friend who stayed with us recently, it's good to have her back in Arizona, hoping she might relocate back here again?   We're going to the Desert Botanical Gardens together Tomorrow Morning, because she's the only one Game enough to endure the Summer Monsoon Heat with me at some Outdoor Venue... we're both Crazy like that!  And after two consecutive days at the Zoo, The G-Kid Force were no longer Game for anymore Outdoor activities with Gramma... such Lightweights this Younger Generation is... when The Grammas can hang and they cannot!   Her Grands are opting out too.  *LOL*

And now for a Dreadlock Update at 14 Months In... with some Dreadful Selfies of the Locs, because, shit, have you tried holding Tantric Yoga poses with a Camera in order to Photograph your freakin' Hair at various angles?!?  *LMAO*  I suck at Selfies anyway, any kind of Selfie, nevermind ones of the back or sides of my Head!  *Bwahahahaa!!!*   And I'd just gotten Home from Work Tonight and my Hair was all Wild and Crazy from just taking it down.  It's at the super Crazy stage of growth anyway where I have a tonnage of new growth Hair that has not loc-ed up yet with any Dread, tho' some seem to be wanting to form New Dreads of their own!   So I think I'm now up to 50 Dreadlocks and some are getting more Mature than others... strangely the ones on the nape of my Neck are the Phattest and most dense already... I have no Idea Why?!?   Some are also growing way faster than others so the lengths are really random now!  And every Loc is completely different and will continue to have an Individual Metamorphosis... so you'll have Favorites... and the Wild Ones that will just be Testing your Patience.  *Smiles*  You will always have some loose and messy Hair {with White People Locs anyway} that might refuse to Loc... and no amount of coaxing is going to convince it to!  Around my Face is where mine are the most stubborn about NOT Loc-in Up!

I also quit trying to keep my Tips Blunt because some of them just want to Paintbrush Tip instead and it's futile to try to roll them into submission.  In fact, I do not Palm Roll anymore, waste of time and with arthritic Hands I just wasn't that dedicated to the Practice of it.  *LOL*   I've found that the best Practice is what the Old Timer Dreadheads have told me all along, just leave them alone, keep them clean and separate them so they don't Congo together.   I will confess that initially, when I'd separate the Congos and rip them apart the Velcro sound of it really freaked me out, but in actuality it does no harm.   Just do not Cut stray or loose Hairs... or Dreads in half to undo Congos, it's going to damage and potentially weaken them or risk them falling out completely!  Another thing that personally I think is a mistake, putting Wax in... especially in a Hot Climate it's just messy... and honestly I Believe it will inhibit the Locs being able to Loc Up Naturally, which is the best way to go in the long run.  Even in the Crazier Phases I don't Mind my Dreads, I still Love them... still way Tamer and Low Maintenance than my Natural Hair ever was... so Zero Regrets!

I did initially have my Locs started with the Crochet Method because I have fine, fragile Hairs so rip and tear just seemed damaging and neglect just seemed like it would take so long and look really bad for way too long and form too not uniform in size and shape... I'm Old and OCD, so I just don't have loads of time to wait Years for my Hair to Dread Up Naturally or look decent!  *LOL*   That said, I don't do Maintenance and won't Crochet anymore to Maintain my Dreads or Tidy them up.  I've let them loop and have bumps as they tighten up and continue to Mature, it doesn't bother me... the loops and bumps eventually absorb into the Dread.  The new growth Natural Dreading, which is about at 4-5 inches per Dread now from my scalp, looks and feels way different than the initial Crocheted Sections, mostly because Crocheted Dread looked more like Braiding and feel completely different to the Touch.   No Dread has ever 'fallen out', not literally as in breaking off completely... and not in unraveling either... once they were in, they were in and I didn't have to worry about that at all.  I also didn't have to worry about my Hair Dreading as it grew out Naturally, it just does... and pretty close to my Scalp too as you can see.  Tho' for some people up to 5 inches of non-dreaded Hair from the Scalp is Normal and so don't worry about it.  I find the Natural Dread is way thicker than my Crocheted sections are.   Some Natural Dreads on high pressure areas of your Head will initially be flat or flatten some... don't Freak Out about it... as they Mature they will reshape themselves without your Help into nice Ropes. 

And I have found that if they're too unruly some days, to just put them Up and put some plain Water on my Hands to make the stray Hairs go flat and behave. {No Gel or Hair Spray or you'd have a Hot Mess!}  I only use Dreadlock Shampoo, either the liquid or the bar... so as not to have residue build up... and do not use Conditioner or it will be difficult for them to be knotty and Mature properly!  Hope this has been Helpful to anyone just starting out?  Now that I'm over a Year In mine are beginning to actually Mature to how I want them to look and behave... tho' I know it might take a couple more Years to have them really ALL Mature enough to forego the Dreadful Phases that can be tough to get thru if you obsess about your Locs.   I don't, I've just let them do what they do, they've gotten along just Fine with me just leaving them alone and ignoring them so my first Year went extremely Well.


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Monday, July 16, 2018

Blogging Then... Blogging Now

I decided to dredge up some Imagery from the Past, when I first began Blogging back in 2010.   Wow, so much has changed when I think about Blogging then and Blogging now!   I am Technically Challenged and so my Grandson, then the tender age of 9, had to set everything up for me online and was even the one who told me about Blogs!   I had needed a Creative outlet for Writing and Photography, to Journal just anything and everything since Letter Writing had gone the way of the Dinosaurs.  I am quite sure I was one of the last of the Dinosaurs still Writing Letters in fact, until nobody was responding anymore in kind and I realized it had become an extinct method of communication!   So initially I began exclusively for myself, I had no idea I was connecting to a wonderful new community of Kindred Spirits!

Since I didn't expect Visitors or anyone to find my Blog except by accident, initially I didn't Share as many Images and it was more about the Journaling. The Written Word, like a Dairy of sorts gone Public via Social Media... a Letter to no-one and yet to anyone.   I wasn't so naive to be too transparent early on, because I was aware it was Public once it's in cyberspace and out here, not sure whose Eyes might absorb any of it?  I was a lot more guarded then, as you typically are when you are New anywhere and not willing to Share too much that is meaningful to you.  I was testing the waters, to see how safe a Land I had entered into?   I was really doing a lot of Staging back then when I did Share Imagery.  Conjuring up the Imagined Online Life you'd see splayed out in Magazines... not so Real that you'd really Live like that, except on the Canvas of your Imagination... what you'd Like it to look like all the time!  It was Fun, but Staging anything is just Playing really... it's not Life as most of us know it or Live it.

Having known people who have had their Lovely Homes featured in various popular Publications, I realized that Staging happens when the crews come in before the shoot to make it look the most Idyllic and Editorial for increased Sales of the Magazines.  So I suppose I was Playing at my own little obscure Publication and wanted to emulate what the Big Dogs do to make it look the most Appealing and Attractive.  *Smiles*  I like to Pretend and to Imagine, I think most Dreamers and Artistic Souls do... anything we're Creating is an extension of ourselves and is infused with our very Essence.   So I wasn't that interested in Keeping it Real at first, I wanted to explore the depths of my Online Imaginary Idyllic Life as portrayed here in The Land Of Blog.   I suspect many Bloggers did it, or still do it, otherwise everything wouldn't appear so Sanitized and Immaculate in the Homes and Imagery Shared.  I mean, I personally didn't find Blogs that showed their dirty laundry or the mess the Family makes.  Nobody really, with just a few exceptions, was Messy folk with a Messy Life in Blogland!  *Smiles*  What they did Share would be a tough act to follow if you really thought anyone actually Lived that Idyllically and Pristine!

And those Blogs were Mad Popular too, Wow the Supporters and Following they had was Impressive and sometimes Profitable too!   That's when I realized people do sometimes show up, tho' in the early days I still didn't expect people to show up much at mine, so no real metamorphosis to include other people was happening for a while yet.   I also realized Blogging could be Serious business and some took it quite Seriously and treated it as a legit business!  I decided I did not want a Biz Blog, or even be Topic Specific... though it could have made a passive income flow that probably could be Sweet.  I decided I didn't begin it that way or for those reasons so monetizing it wasn't anything I got into, not then, not now.  There are no Sponsors here since I felt as tho' then I'd be obligated to promote something or someone's agenda... so it just wasn't for me.   When I began to have a nice respectable group of Supporters and Followers I was told I should, I just didn't... this Space was to Feed my Soul, not to Sell it.   It also made me anxious when approached by Publications to do shoots in our Home or my Art Studio Cottage back in the day, it was flattering, but I knew what a Hot Mess it all was, our LIFE, behind the Lens and just out of Frame!  *LMAO*

And that's when I thought I really did Need to keep it 100% and keep it Real, because real folks were now Visiting regularly and I'm not much about being fake or having pretenses in Real Life, so why here?   Tho' I do still like to Imagine and conjure up some Fantasy Posts every now and again for Fun, now I began to talk about the difficult stuff of Life as well... the Real Issues of Life that all of us have yet few talk about candidly and with transparency.   It makes you vulnerable to be transparent about the uncomfortable stuff and how Real shit can get after all, so it did take some introspection to Go There at first.   How much should I or do I want to Share was the lingering question... how much of the Truth could people handle was also considered?  I didn't intend to be controversial, confrontational, political or scary about my opinion or views!  *Smiles*  Now that I'd made Blog Friends it wasn't as if I wanted to run them off in droves with the Difficult Read... especially if they came initially for a respite from Real Life.  To just enjoy a Positive Story or a Pretty Picture, so I was Mindful to keep those Topics alive and Well too.  To just do a disclaimer at the Get Go if it was going to be a Difficult Read Topic for any Post... the Sharing and Baring of the Heart instead of the Fluff of Life.

The Hook is always in the Post Title, and I Confess that I have baited... mostly for Fun, it's AMAZING to me how many of the most Popular Posts were the ones that drew folks in with the Title Hook Line!  *LOL*   I found that I should have always known that tho' everyone does Like the Fluff Posts... they are more Intrigued by the potentially Train Wreck ones!   Come on, you knew it too, everyone is drawn in by a good Train Wreck or scandalous Story and The Land Of Blog apparently is no different than Real Life that way... Bad News Sells, Good News not so much.   So the Bohemian Rant and Vent Posts were thus born, since I realized that I could be unfiltered with my transparency of some Issues and True Feelings without it being a Neg to my Blog and off-putting to my Readers!  In fact, I found that the more I kept it Real and 100%, the more people could respect it and truly relate or find Comfort and a camaraderie!  In those ways that are the Daily Struggles that can be Life and yet few talk about openly or admit to.   The more Helpful some uncomfortable and candid Topics actually could be when Secrecy was lifted and Reality Revealed, well, it was therapeutic in fact... to myself and others Visiting and with points of reference to whatever was being discussed.  

 I now began connecting not just to my fellow Junquers, Nomads and Decorating enthusiasts... but also to my fellow Caregivers, Grandparents raising Grandchildren, those with Loved Ones with significant Disabilities or Health Issues... and the Quirkier folks like myself who are rather Far Side in our general Aesthetic and Lifestyles!  *Winks*   Yes, I found that unlike Real Life where sometimes you don't meet so many who may be just like or anything like you... in The Land Of Blog you can more easily connect to the Kindred Spirit and those with identical or very similar points of reference in just Daily Living.  The Social aspect of Blogging became a very unexpected Bonus of doing this!  What was very surprising is how many people I met in Real Life who actually read and Followed my Blog and thus felt they already knew me enough to walk up and introduce themselves, which was Wonderful! 

 Every time I meet in person someone who knows me thru Blogging it is Amazing and it's as if we've always known one another and have so much in Common!  Even some now BFF's began as Blog Followers and then we by pure serendipity ran into one another in person!   My Dear Friend Pamela knew my Blog first, met me in Person when our Antique Mall opened and we became Vendors running into each other in Real Life there on the first day Vendors were moving in... and she was my first Customer before the Mall even opened!  *LOL*  It's a Small World really my Friends!   The Circles we run in are actually not that Wide and yet Kindred Spirits always seem to find one another some kind of way, it is almost a magnetic attraction that happens!   Now, that's not to say I have not also met Wonderful peeps who are nothing at all like me, polar opposites in fact, and yet we've bonded and become Friends too!  

 I do find that The Land Of Blog overall is a much Gentler and Kinder Community than Real Life can sometimes be.  Yes, there are the Trolls, but Blogger has been efficient when I've tagged a Troll as Spam and not Welcome here.  I don't suffer the Unlovely peeps and shit stirring types.  I have a zero tolerance policy for Drama or disrespectful and ignorant or hateful behavior in Real Life and here on my Blog.  Behavior tolerated is behavior accepted, it's not acceptable to me.  We've lost some really Special Bloggers who got targeted by Trolls and Haters, it's a pity, I Wish they had stood their ground and not allowed such low life antics to control their decision.   The Critics in Life tend to mostly be those who rarely DO anything to promote Positive Changes or make a Difference themselves.  So I consider them impotent and unimportant, probably Tortured Souls who perhaps feel obscure and marginalized so are lashing out?  Much easier to complain, criticize and be judgmental about everyone else as a Spectator on the sidelines who isn't even in the Game but enjoys being the Armchair Quarterback.   My stance is, IF you CAN DO it better, then just DO IT and shut up... the Proof will then be in your own performance and Real contribution!  *LOL*

If I was feeling particularly scrappy and wicked I might amuse myself by sparring with and gleefully taking down a Troll or Critic for Fun.  *LMAO*  But really I don't Care enough about what they have to say to bother and I can find more Positive Amusement in other ways and not let Dark Dawn out to Play.  *Winks*  Yes, I Confess I DO have a Dark Side and 'she' is not very Nice if I unleash 'her'.  The G-Kid Force keep me accountable by saying, "Gramma Be Nice!", when ever I'm getting testy or about to Deal with someone who doesn't bring out the Best in me!  *LOL*   I think we all do have a Dark Side of Self and you have to really want to be a better person to keep the Darkness at bay and be Kind or Civil, perhaps some folks just can't manage that, I dunno?   I feel there's enough Therapists around to sort that shit out for them if they want to seek the Help they clearly Need to resolve their Issues, or perhaps they just enjoy being an Asshole nobody much likes, who knows?   We each have our own Journey and Choices, mine is just not to suffer them since who Needs unneccessary Drama or Triggers that might unleash our own inner Darkness upon the World?   I do know folks who won't Blog or even Comment due to the risk of running into the ones nobody likes to Deal with and everyone despises whenever they show up unwelcome like a Party Crasher and virus.

Which brings me to Blogging Now as opposed to Then, what HAS Changed and I've Noticed?   I've discovered that most everything runs it's course, when it peaks in popularity and then wanes.  Unfortunately Blogging is now at that unfortunate juncture of falling out of popularity and favor.  It peaked during the time I've been doing it, which was a Great Ride... but the paradigm shift has now come.   A lot of really Great Blogs and Bloggers are gone, I Miss each and every one of them.  It's getting harder to find replacement Blogs to read and Support, tho' I keep searching and seeking them, they ARE still out there in vast cyberspace.   I had contemplated whether to quit Blogging myself, but I decided I still thoroughly enjoy doing it Now as much as, or even more than, in the beginning.  It's still one of my Happy Places to come... either to Create a Post of my own or to Read someone else's and interact with Blog Friends in this alternate Social venue we've formed.

 I began the Journey of this Online Journal just for me, I modified it some for those who came to Visit and I have become Friends with and want to Share our Lives with, it's Matured right along with me.  So whether Visits increase or wane, if what I want to say and Share is still relevant to me, since this is my Life and Loves, what's on my Heart and Mind that I'm Journaling about, I'll continue because it's Free, so why not?!  *LOL*   Besides, even tho' I Purged all Old Archived Posts a while ago, I have a lot of Fond Memories tied up in this Blog now it's reaching the Decade mark of it's existence.  I still apparently have a lot to say and the Photography, well, that's improved as an Art Form as well and I have become an even more avid Amateur Pathological Picture Taker now!  *Winks*  The most Amazing part, I have almost 2 million Views now... WOW... just WOW!  Who knew so many would show up for a Visit!?!?!?!?!?

I do Hope most of you will still come for Visits, I've thoroughly enjoyed your Company and the connection Socially that it's provided.  You've been so very Supportive during the tough times and rejoiced with us during the good times.  You've come along virtually to a lot of places with me where I might have previously walked alone... and the Sharing of an experience just magnifies the pleasure of it!   You've watched The G-Kid Force grow up, the slow but steady recovery of The Man after his catastrophic injuries and rehabilitation, all the Stuff I've bought and sold off... chuckling about that one... the epic move from Old Historic Bohemian Valhalla to New Villa Boheme'... so we now have some Shared History together that brings greater intimacy to relationships.   Whether they be Real Life ones or Online ones really hardly matters anymore to me, since it has transcended the Need to always have to meet in Person to become close Friends... and that is Truly Wonderful my Friends!  Hope you all enjoyed the Visual walk down Memory Lane with some photographic Blasts from the Past's Blog Photo Archives!?


Blessings, Love and Sharing Life from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Fluff Of Life Distractions... Filling Up On Eye Candy

I have found Reality to be a tad bit harsh lately, and so it's been a welcome respite to Escape from it temporarily... with fluff of Life distractions... filling up on Eye Candy, which just becomes the break I need to restore my Soul.  Stuff, it can be the bane of my existence and my insulated Sanctuary... all at the same time!

It's not that things are so terribly bad at the Moment, during the terribly bad Moments actually you have no Time to Think, you just have to React by rote and not Think at all.  It's when things become tedious and mundane in the Caregiver Role that you have too much Time to Think about Reality and the harshness of it's complexities and challenges you're stuck with.

You can get deep inside your own Head in those Moments when things aren't in Crisis, yet they still are what they are and what they require of you.  Caregiving is a Lonesome Task, doesn't matter how many people may be 'around' in the peripheral of it, if they are not 'present' in it, in the trenches with you, the disconnect just exists and you realize how isolated you really are and have become.

There is their World and their Reality, the Non-Caregivers... and then there is yours, Worlds apart.  When your own Health begins to be compromised and you're still the Caregiver, then the harshness sets in, it's a Reality Check.  You know, just in case you imagined you had an alternate Reality, a Reality like most Normal people.  Your situation is anything but Normal or Typical though.  You still have to muster to do it all, while attempting enough Self Care not to fall apart and to keep on keeping on.

The "how long can I do this" begins to become the question you constantly ask yourself?  Because some illnesses and disabilities have no actual end or cure, you realize there will possibly be a time when you can't provide the Care to meet everyone at their point of Need anymore, when you yourself are spent.   What then?   When you just can't?   Who will?  And at what Cost?

Since I don't know when that Time will be it just is the Elephant in the room that nobody much talks about and pretends not to even Notice or try to ever Think about.  You just go about your days walking delicately around the Elephant in the room, who it's easier to pretend is invisible and just not there, so you ignore it as best you can.   For everyone's Sanity really, no use freaking out daily about an Elephant in your room, it's not going anywhere!

I do not like Caregiving, in fact I loathe it... because it makes me feel way too vulnerable, trapped, inept and ultimately responsible for things way beyond my abilities, skill set and control.  It becomes your Life and you will forfeit an actual one to become a Full Time Caregiver.  People requiring Caregiving depend upon you, more than just the average dependency.

We're not talking about minor Depending upon someone to be there for you, like if you happen to need a ride and if someone just doesn't show up it's not as if it's a potential Crisis or puts you in any peril.  If you are not dependable you will fail miserably at Caregiving and probably catch charges for Negligence of a Vulnerable Being actually.  It's not a one-off instance of dependency, it's total dependency, which is some heavy shit!

It's a twenty-four-seven and three-hundred-sixty-five grind of heavy shit, even on the good days when things aren't so terribly bad at the Moment.  It's the Knowing that they depend upon you ALL of the time really, even when they don't have an immediate Need or Crisis you must respond to.  Even when things are good they can go bad, so it's some edgy shit all of the time!

So it's like being On Call ALL of the time, even if things are Calm and Life is looking as Normal or mundane as a day can possibly be in your World.  Because you have had enough Experience at it to know that things can, and do, turn on a Dime... just like that things can go all to Hell and BE a LIVING HELL!   I have been to Hell and back so many times over decades of Caregiving that I Feel I deserve a taste of Heaven when I finally Die and am released from it!

It can all seem so innocuous at times that it belies how bad things can get on the turn of a Dime when someone is seriously not Well, either physically, mentally, or both and you're Extreme Caregiving or Parenting.   In the blink of an Eye, on a day that started out OK enough, things can unravel so fast you are never quite prepared for any of it.  No matter how many times you've been thru it... there's no rehearsing this shit.

Every Crisis will be different enough and Test you to the levels of your endurance and experiences of Dealing with it... or something like it.  You never Know the Outcome, you WILL NEVER Know the Outcome, it's simply not Promised!  You sigh a huge sigh of Relief every time if the Outcome just isn't too bad and nobody ends up Hospitalized, Institutionalized or Dies on your Watch!   And it is ALWAYS your Watch, you are the Lone Sentinel and there's rarely, if ever, any backup.

You learn to be very Guarded about Help coming, because even IF they show up, often they are not prepared nor skilled and trained enough to handle whatever is going down.  Especially in the Mental Health aspect of Caregiving, you learn the Dangers associated with Help arriving for the Mentally Ill Loved Ones!  Then them {both Loved One and Responders} possibly Feeling Unsafe in the unpredictable, unstable nature of a full blown Mental Health Episode!   A lot of shit can go Sideways, so it's very different than a Medical Emergency Response no matter how Epic or Life Threatening.

It all takes a definite Toll... sometimes you don't even realize how much of a Toll since it's so insidious in what it's doing to YOU.   So you sometimes just need the Fluff of Life distractions, however frivolous it is to fill up the Void with it. Because you might as well get Sick with filling up on too much Eye Candy as get Sick from the Stress of your Reality being a tad bit too harsh to manage appropriately.   Even on the worst days the stuff and fluff can just seem more manageable... even if it isn't.


Dawn... The Bohemian

A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl