Sunday, July 15, 2018

Fluff Of Life Distractions... Filling Up On Eye Candy

I have found Reality to be a tad bit harsh lately, and so it's been a welcome respite to Escape from it temporarily... with fluff of Life distractions... filling up on Eye Candy, which just becomes the break I need to restore my Soul.  Stuff, it can be the bane of my existence and my insulated Sanctuary... all at the same time!

It's not that things are so terribly bad at the Moment, during the terribly bad Moments actually you have no Time to Think, you just have to React by rote and not Think at all.  It's when things become tedious and mundane in the Caregiver Role that you have too much Time to Think about Reality and the harshness of it's complexities and challenges you're stuck with.

You can get deep inside your own Head in those Moments when things aren't in Crisis, yet they still are what they are and what they require of you.  Caregiving is a Lonesome Task, doesn't matter how many people may be 'around' in the peripheral of it, if they are not 'present' in it, in the trenches with you, the disconnect just exists and you realize how isolated you really are and have become.

There is their World and their Reality, the Non-Caregivers... and then there is yours, Worlds apart.  When your own Health begins to be compromised and you're still the Caregiver, then the harshness sets in, it's a Reality Check.  You know, just in case you imagined you had an alternate Reality, a Reality like most Normal people.  Your situation is anything but Normal or Typical though.  You still have to muster to do it all, while attempting enough Self Care not to fall apart and to keep on keeping on.

The "how long can I do this" begins to become the question you constantly ask yourself?  Because some illnesses and disabilities have no actual end or cure, you realize there will possibly be a time when you can't provide the Care to meet everyone at their point of Need anymore, when you yourself are spent.   What then?   When you just can't?   Who will?  And at what Cost?

Since I don't know when that Time will be it just is the Elephant in the room that nobody much talks about and pretends not to even Notice or try to ever Think about.  You just go about your days walking delicately around the Elephant in the room, who it's easier to pretend is invisible and just not there, so you ignore it as best you can.   For everyone's Sanity really, no use freaking out daily about an Elephant in your room, it's not going anywhere!

I do not like Caregiving, in fact I loathe it... because it makes me feel way too vulnerable, trapped, inept and ultimately responsible for things way beyond my abilities, skill set and control.  It becomes your Life and you will forfeit an actual one to become a Full Time Caregiver.  People requiring Caregiving depend upon you, more than just the average dependency.

We're not talking about minor Depending upon someone to be there for you, like if you happen to need a ride and if someone just doesn't show up it's not as if it's a potential Crisis or puts you in any peril.  If you are not dependable you will fail miserably at Caregiving and probably catch charges for Negligence of a Vulnerable Being actually.  It's not a one-off instance of dependency, it's total dependency, which is some heavy shit!

It's a twenty-four-seven and three-hundred-sixty-five grind of heavy shit, even on the good days when things aren't so terribly bad at the Moment.  It's the Knowing that they depend upon you ALL of the time really, even when they don't have an immediate Need or Crisis you must respond to.  Even when things are good they can go bad, so it's some edgy shit all of the time!

So it's like being On Call ALL of the time, even if things are Calm and Life is looking as Normal or mundane as a day can possibly be in your World.  Because you have had enough Experience at it to know that things can, and do, turn on a Dime... just like that things can go all to Hell and BE a LIVING HELL!   I have been to Hell and back so many times over decades of Caregiving that I Feel I deserve a taste of Heaven when I finally Die and am released from it!

It can all seem so innocuous at times that it belies how bad things can get on the turn of a Dime when someone is seriously not Well, either physically, mentally, or both and you're Extreme Caregiving or Parenting.   In the blink of an Eye, on a day that started out OK enough, things can unravel so fast you are never quite prepared for any of it.  No matter how many times you've been thru it... there's no rehearsing this shit.

Every Crisis will be different enough and Test you to the levels of your endurance and experiences of Dealing with it... or something like it.  You never Know the Outcome, you WILL NEVER Know the Outcome, it's simply not Promised!  You sigh a huge sigh of Relief every time if the Outcome just isn't too bad and nobody ends up Hospitalized, Institutionalized or Dies on your Watch!   And it is ALWAYS your Watch, you are the Lone Sentinel and there's rarely, if ever, any backup.

You learn to be very Guarded about Help coming, because even IF they show up, often they are not prepared nor skilled and trained enough to handle whatever is going down.  Especially in the Mental Health aspect of Caregiving, you learn the Dangers associated with Help arriving for the Mentally Ill Loved Ones!  Then them {both Loved One and Responders} possibly Feeling Unsafe in the unpredictable, unstable nature of a full blown Mental Health Episode!   A lot of shit can go Sideways, so it's very different than a Medical Emergency Response no matter how Epic or Life Threatening.

It all takes a definite Toll... sometimes you don't even realize how much of a Toll since it's so insidious in what it's doing to YOU.   So you sometimes just need the Fluff of Life distractions, however frivolous it is to fill up the Void with it. Because you might as well get Sick with filling up on too much Eye Candy as get Sick from the Stress of your Reality being a tad bit too harsh to manage appropriately.   Even on the worst days the stuff and fluff can just seem more manageable... even if it isn't.


Dawn... The Bohemian

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Merchant Square And A Political Rant

So I took my Friend to MERCHANT SQUARE Antique Mall because she'd never been there before and I didn't know the HIGHLAND YARD VINTAGE Event had been cancelled for July due to the excessive heat of Summer.  I had thought she might get to experience both while she's in Town, mebbe next time.  The Son lives nearby but had to work overtime, so that didn't work out either for us meeting him for Lunch and trawling for Treasures together.   I like this location because it is so close to Family who live in the East Valley, so we usually get together there whenever I make the pilgrimage way over there.

The Son and Family would prefer us to move and live in the East Valley, which is why I have been looking at properties over on that side of the Metro area.  I just don't know about Moving again tho', I'm still very much conflicted and on the fence, just so much downsizing, expense and work involved to even remotely consider it!   Right now I'm spent just moving a single piece of furniture Upstairs in increments... we took it apart, the Vintage Industrial Cabinet, and about half of it is still in my Downstairs Hallway a week later!  *LOL*   And let us not get started about the Meditation Room chronic delays, my procrastination known no bounds lately!  *Le Sigh*  I just don't Feel up to most of it lately and so I just don't do it with any consistency anymore.

Even my Outings can end up sidelined if Family and Friends don't catch me early enough while I still have the motivation and energy to actually do it!  If they wait til Afternoon... forget about it... I'll now opt to stay Home and just continue to gel.   Don't know if it's physical, emotional or a bit of both... I just Feel rather drained doing much about nothing lately!  Of coarse the intense heat and humidity that comes with the Summer Monsoon Season probably contributes to my overall apathy and general Feeling of overall exhaustion.  At the Mall I only bought this Fab Vintage Seed Sack since it was 20% Off... and some French Nordic Decor Jeanne d'Arc Living Magazines, also 20% Off that day, since most Vendors were having a Sizzling Summer Sale going on!  I have probably made my Friend a convert now of French Nordic Style after she perused said Mags.  *LOL*

It was tempting to pick up this little fella for my Vintage Carnival Kitsch Collection, but I didn't.   Finances this Summer are just strained for a variety of reasons and I'm concentrating on Selling stuff off rather than bringing stuff in to Villa Boheme'.   I've priced and carted off numerous Banana Boxes of Inventory to my Antique Mall, the Purge continues.   Culling personal possessions is ramped up considerably now and I'm pleased with the mass exodus.  Tho' it has made a Hot Mess of my housekeeping, since boxes and piles are everywhere, so things are chaotic at the moment while sorting, pricing and sending it all out is in progress.   My Showroom and Booth is jam packed, I don't like it being so cluttered, but... better than our Home being cluttered with it.  Not to mention I cannot Sell it in piles at Home, right?!  *Winks*

I have Donated a considerable amount too and still have a large box sitting at the ready for the next Donation run.   I also missed bulk garbage pick up dammit, then the Monsoon back to back Haboobs happened while Princess T's old Twin Mattress sat curbside and saturated it and a Big Screen TV Box!   So we loaded the now ultra soggy and ten times heavier items into the back of my Truck, where they now sit while I contemplate which Landfill to dispose of them at!?   The Free bulk pick-up would have been better given the Summer Finances strain, but whatever, it's not like I can drag the two items back inside now that they're soaked and filthy from the Monster Storms that hit while they were out there!   I was so confidant I'd put them out in time, since other neighbors had big piles of furniture out at the same time and theirs is all gone now, only an Old Microwave got taken of our three items put out there... WTF?!

I looked to see if large flat boxes and small mattresses were on the 'forbidden' item list, they were not... so I just don't know what happened and now I just don't Care.   To avoid an Uptight Neighbor or HOA Drama playing out I just loaded them into the back of my Truck to get them out of sight and out of Mind for a while 'til I can dispose of them properly now.   As it is, every day there is a Monster Storm, which is almost daily... the most Uptight Neighbors are out there slogging away at sweeping Nature's debris up... only to do it again the next day... and the next, an exercise in futility if you ask me!   I just can't be bothered 'til I absolutely have to when numerous consecutive storms have passed thru... I mean, what's the point if it won't look any different by just the next freakin' day?!?  *LOL*  I don't think I'm Uptight enough to live around here, I really don't.  *LMAO*

It amuses me really to see anyone working so hard at something that will be obliterated in a matter of another few hours... fighting Mother Nature... you will lose every time, I guarantee!  But I'm assuming that when you're that Uptight, you just cannot stand for it not to be Tidy for even a Minute and you'll re-do it every hour if you have to???!!!   I don't Get It, perhaps I never will, it just doesn't bother me to see some leaf and seed pod debris after a big storm having to wait 'til the series of storms is over before I get around to it!   I did get around to it last Week and sweep up a fairly epic amount of mostly seed pods from my two now enormous Desert Willow Trees.  But it looks the same again now we've had this Week's Monster Storms hit, so whatever, I'm just not ambitious or bothered enough yet to do it again.  Of coarse many just keep paying their Gardeners to come back again and again, those Companies are making Bank this time of year!

And sadly, during the most recent back to back Monster Haboobs that had gale force winds resembling a Typhoon, our Green Belt at the end of our Street, and many others around the Valley, lost a considerable amount of Beautiful large Trees!  They were ripped up by their roots and flung around like matchsticks!  The Power of those Storms is Awe inspiring, they are both Beautiful in their mesmerizing roll into the Valley when captured on film, and Terrifying to be caught in if you happen to be driving!   If you have never seen a Haboob roll over the Land, it is like nothing you will ever see!  Visibility when the initial Dust roll hits is at Zero and the Wind is so strong that when the Rain finally hits it comes sideways and is literally horizontal Rain!   The first one The Man and I got stuck out in as we were driving Home from a Restaurant, they hit quickly and fiercely.

The Sun can be shining and then you see it rolling in rapidly, you will not outrun it even in a vehicle, so the best thing to do is when visibility is compromised, pull off to the side of the road as far as you can, turn your lights off and wait it out 'til it's safe to carry on.   Most inexperienced Desert Monster Storm drivers haven't got a Clue tho' and they're the ones that pose more danger than the actual Storm to everyone's life around them!   We sat at the side of the road doing what we should be doing in literally zero visibility and every so often some idiot with a Death Wish would go speeding by blindly at whatever the speed limit is, clearly unable to see a damned thing and yet driving fast and totally blind!  They can't even see the road, never mind an intersection or any other vehicles or stationary objects around them, what are they thinking?!?!!  They might not even be ON the road anymore and they wouldn't know it, which is why you have to turn your own lights off so they don't try to 'follow' you and run up your ass!

I am certain that most vehicular Storm fatalities are caused by the likes of fools like that!   Wake up call, if you can't see beyond your windshield you probably should not be careening down the road at any speed!   I have heard some people try to justify trying to still drive when they can't see a damned thing by saying they were too scared to just stop and risk being hit by somebody else.  And the logic in that just isn't something I can wrap my Mind around... SOOO... lemme get this straight... rather than being stationary and way off the road not being a dangerous projectile yourself, you think it's somehow Safer and less scary to be careening blindly in a vehicle and trying not to be hit by some other fool also careening blindly in a vehicle... humnnnnn... very interesting!!!   Yes, it is Terrifying and the best thing is not to be driving if you can help not getting accidentally caught in the Storms rage... but knowing what is the RIGHT and safest suggested thing to do is also important just in case.

Thankfully, once the Storm had subsided enough to see to drive again, we noticed the vast majority of sensible drivers were also in long lines on either side of the road pulled over like we were waiting it out.  You couldn't see them before... and so if those idiot drivers had been blinded and disoriented enough to have gone off road on either side they would have definitely caused some carnage.  That is the part that was more terrifying to me while sitting there than the Storm ever was!   Like I've continued to say tho', you can't fix Stupid or talk sense into those who refuse sensibility as an option.   I have seen so much nonsensical behaviors lately that I'm wondering if there isn't a plague of it going around or something?!  *Le Sigh*   Given the state of our Nation at even the highest levels, well, it just boggles the Mind how outrageous it's all become!  Alice's Wonderland wasn't as jacked up, honestly... when I heard 45 was going to have Tea with the Queen I'm like... Oh Shit, hopefully with his appalling lack of manners and couth he won't piss her off so much she'll say Off with his Head?!?

Even my Grandson wryly added, I just cannot Imagine what kind of Mad Tea Party THAT is going to play out in Real Time... can he even NOT be an embarrassment and be the least bit Respectful ya think... even in the presence of Royalty?!   Well, after all the other Worldwide debacle visits, I don't have a lot of confidence and cringe every time he goes anywhere or says anything!  Since even his own Advisors seem unable to advise him to behave with propriety and National best interest at Heart, to put Ego and Arrogance aside for a minute.  I've never been a particularly Political person nor bothered to spar with anyone else's Political views since it's futile, but I cannot wait for this damned cluster fuck of an Administration to be over.  

It's to the point we've got precious Children interned in Camps like POW's and not kept track of as well as luggage at an Airport... Human Right violations as atrocious as any Dictator has ever wrought!  It's all beyond Surreal at this point and it scares and disgusts me... a LOT!  It scares and disgusts me MORE that so many seem OK with it too or try to justify what is so terribly Wrong, callous and unjust!  That's frightening beyond belief becoz History shows us what can happen when masses are blindly led by Fools or with Evil intent against other Human Beings!   I'm ashamed actually and don't want to be complicit in any of it which is why I just have to speak out against it, even if mine is just a single Voice being raised and ignored.   Since I answer to God, I just wouldn't want to remain Silent when ungodly actions are wrought against other Human Beings and their suffering and violation is so clearly evident!

I am retired from our local DA's Office and when I was still working the charge of Illegal Immigration was a Misdemeanor, which I'm sure it still is.  So, since when is the penalty for committing a Misdemeanor the utter destruction of your Family and the loss of your Children, perhaps forever?   Not knowing where they are or how they're being treated or with whom they've been placed in the Care of, since nobody seems to REALLY know or be accountable for.   As a Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother I cannot even comprehend the magnitude of that terror and Nightmare... as a Human Being I cannot see how putting a Child in that kind of situation is the least bit humane to that Child and their well being?  They have been forever damaged by it and that should be on our collective conscience, regardless of how you Feel about Immigration and how very broken that System CLEARLY is and in need of major overhaul and repair!  I personally am not willing to sacrifice a single Child at the Altar of Policy and Politics... not a single one!  It just makes me weep when I see what is happening in my own Country and it makes me ANGRY!

I am a very Peace loving individual and some of my Heroes of Activism and Positive Change have been the likes of Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King.   They made a Positive difference in their World and I totally Respect that, I cannot Respect those who have not left the World a better place for their existence while in positions of Power and Influence.    Many Negative things are the result of Power and Influence misguided or misused and abused... it's a very delicate balance when you are given that great Responsibility for 'the Good of ALL' and wielding your Power and Influence.   When anyone appears to be a loose canon I never see that as a Positive thing, tho' some would argue that's Why they like certain Leaders, I see it as Reckless, impulsive and short sighted.  I don't know that in a Leadership Position with many lives at stake, and the Future of so many for who knows how long, that those are attributes whatsoever.

I know that the reputation of the United States has been significantly altered in not so flattering ways, internally and externally.   You can't have years of a shit show playing out without collateral damage of epic proportions and whoever will inherit the mess afterwards has a job not to be envied of running significant damage control.   It makes me Sad when my Grandchild tells me that it's probably a Good Thing I'm so Old because I won't have the long term effects of it playing out for as many years as his Generation will.   I know that he is Right, I am Hopeful that he and those Beautiful Genius Minds like his of their Generation will make a Positive difference and find Solutions in their Lifetimes.  When I speak to the Youth about the condition of our Society most of them are not overly Optimistic, but they would like to improve it in Positive ways and that Mindset might make all the difference to make it a Reality one day, when they're in Charge.

I am Hopeful myself that Positive Changes and what is Right will eventually Win out over the Negativity and all that is so very Wrong!   There is still a lot of Beauty and Goodness in the World and preserving it is vitally important to me.   I have always had the Belief that America has been Great because she as a Nation has been Good and fought for what we Believe to be Personal Freedoms.  When we cease to be Good, we will ultimately cease to be Great.   Every Society does have it's flaws, it's things we still Need to Get Right.  I've traveled the World extensively and I still very much Believe with every ounce of my Being that it's mostly Good to be an American and have the privilege of calling this my Country.   Poverty exists in every Country, eliminating it or reducing it significantly is a task every Society faces.  Even Jesus said the Poor we will always have with us {Matthew 26:11} and perhaps that is telling that it's an extremely tough Problem to totally conquer and solve?

However, Charity is one of the Theological Virtues and Love the greatest Virtue, we should be extending both as a Nation to remain Good and Great.  That said, the seven deadly Sins:  pridegreedlustenvygluttonywrath and sloth
How many of THOSE as a Nation do you see playing out daily now my Friends?  I see way too many actually, which is not a good thing at all, it disturbs me.  On a Spiritual level I can't help but think it will have serious consequence associated with it.    As a Moderate person I just feel too many extremes exist within our population right now and it has thus polarized us like never before and we are a very Disunited States of America right now, also NOT good.  The Unity is no longer there and can it be Restored?   I'm really not Sure and if everyone stubbornly holds their current ground, probably NOT.  How we will then Deal with that as a Nation remains to be seen.

I have always been able to see the Beauty in the broken, the unlovely, the imperfect, that which has been cast aside and given up on by many.  I do think we can continue to Cherish what is left, what might be damaged, not only in things but in the people around us.   I don't expect Perfection, not in anything and not in anyone... and I'm not even asking for that of anything or anyone.  The admission of what was a Mistake tho' is crucial if we are not to repeat it or continue along a mistaken Path too far or for too long.  We're all on this Journey of Life Together and the impact of one can be impacting many... or even all.  I just Pray for self-reflection and to sort out what can and should be Changed and just go about THAT in the most Positive ways possible.  We cannot Change the Past, it's done... but we can Learn from it, Success leaves clues and Failure definitely leaves evidence of what didn't work.

I didn't even begin this Post Today with the Intention of making it a Moral one.  My initial Intention was to just show some pretty things and talk about the weather... but my Heart has been burdened... and out of the abundance of the Heart the Mouth typically speaks.   It just HAS to... and that's why I Listen a lot to what people SAY, it Reveals so much about what is in their Hearts even if they are trying to disguise it or dress it up.   I Listen a lot to what our Leaders are Saying, the condition of their Hearts isn't Promising from what I'm Hearing, in fact it's Toxic to my Ears and my own Heart and Spirit.   I think a lot of people are Feeling out of sorts and I can't help but Wonder if that has something to do with it... because it is unsettling to say the least!   Now, what people DO is another thing entirely, words without actions are hollow and meaningless... and there is a lot of that going around as well!

Take Action in whatever Positive ways you can make a difference my Friends and do not discount your small contributions.   Combined the smallest of contributions makes a big difference and impact.   I have been Sponsoring 3rd Wold Children via a Wonderful Ministry Organization for almost 50 years now and tho' my monthly contribution is small, collectively with other Sponsors many Good things have come of it.   Numerous Children I have personally Sponsored have been able to break the cycle of Poverty and Illiteracy to make a difference.  Not only in their Lives, but in their contribution to their own circle of Influence once they've grown up.  It has empowered many Young Girls in Countries where Women typically have not had a level playing field to contribute and make a difference, that is forever Changed when they now CAN.  Now with their Male counterparts they can Unify to do Good things with Positive results. 

I do recall that even my own Dear Parents, who were extremely Generous and Positive Souls who Helped many, being skeptical when I wanted to Sponsor a Child at the Age of 13.    Is it really going to make a difference they implored... and they knew how hard I was working at the Local Flea Market and Babysitting to come up with the Money for the Sponsorship each Month and how Sacrificial it was to me then.  It will make a different to THAT ONE I always said... and that's enough for me... for now... and perhaps later I can make MORE of a difference when I can DO more.   That very first Child I Sponsored wasn't a whole lot older than me at the time and she eventually became a Nurse!  I was so Proud of her accomplishments and she was so Grateful for the opportunities my Sponsorship had allowed her, to improve her chances of Education and Success, of breaking the cycle of Poverty in her Family... and her Community.  It indeed had made a difference in a Positive way... after that I was Addicted to making more Positive differences whenever I could and however small a contribution to the grand scheme of things!

And you can too... not everyone has to do Great things to make an impact or have enormous Resources to Support Positive Change.   I'm reminded of a Story I was told a long, long time ago about a little Boy on the Beach loaded with washed up Starfish, so many that he couldn't possibly Rescue them all.  Yet he kept running up and down the Beach furiously throwing some back into the Ocean so they might Survive and Thrive, have a Chance.   A Man watched him for quite some time and then told him that it was futile, he could not, would not, be able to Save them ALL no matter how hard he tried.  The Boy picked up the next one and simply said, but I can Save THIS ONE!   I always felt a connection to that Boy in the Story and was not overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task, because I wasn't trying to Save ALL either... at least not all by myself.  And it just makes me Feel Good to know that we Saved some... and the ripple effect of that Humanity extended can be enormous and way bigger and Greater than us!  

And it has been therapeutic in so many ways to Write every now and again what burdens my Heart and just put it out there into the Universe too.   Whether anyone reads it or not hardly matters, whether anyone is in agreement or not isn't the Point... I just think that Positive Vibes resonate loudly and are just Powerful in and of themselves.   And Negative Vibes just have a Karma that comes back around on them that isn't Good and I personally don't want attached to me and so I shed them and repel them whenever I'm exposed to them.   There's a lot of Negative Vibes out there right now, so it's been quite the battle to not allow it to infect us and pollute us with it's toxicity.  But I Believe we can prevail and keep the Good Fight going Strong, with Love being our ammunition and Faith being our Shield... and a Trust that God is the Great Equalizer and vindicator of Wrongs and against all Evil.   So I do my part and allow Him to do His, Trusting that everything will be as it should be.


Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Friday, July 13, 2018

Lazy Days Of Summer And Dealing With Bad News

Yeah, we knew it was Friday the 13th but we're not Superstitious about THAT, we are intent on having a Good Day!  With it being Summer, high triple digit temperatures and Monsoon Season, meaning high humidity and Monster Haboob Storms as well, getting out and about is as challenging as some places are in extreme Winter!   Our Zoo Membership is soon expiring, so each Morning we've set out to experience it while we still can.  Thankfully there are many indoor exhibits to Cool off in, but it is rather like being in the Sauna at the Gym if one is outside experiencing it!  So long walks there in Sauna like conditions has replaced having to buy a Gym Membership!  *LOL*    You see, my last Diabetic Checkup recently at the Doc didn't go so well and MORE exercise was suggested... along with yet another injection med... so now I'm up to 2-3 shots per day... Splendid!

I had been so optimistic that this Checkup would go better since I'd brought some of my numbers lower every now and again with this new Nutritarian eating Plan for over the past Month... no such luck!  *Le Sigh*   It's probably not anything you're doing or not doing was the consensus of the Doc and Diabetic Counselors, your Pancreas is just crapping out... Swell... so I left rather despondent and morose, almost in tears that day.  So it took me picking myself back up, dusting myself off and just keeping on keeping on.  How many times after all has our Family had ultra grim prognosis by Western Medical professionals and just refused to Receive it and just kept on Living against incredible Odds allegedly not in our Favor?!?

So Fuck It, I just will keep doing what Feels like the Right thing in my gut to do for Self Care... Enjoy Life... continue with my new Dietary changes... and stick with their suggested regimens Religiously.   Tenacity and relentless Will to Live goes a long way judging by how many of my Ancestors and extended Family outlived alleged 'expiration dates' Docs gave em and just kept on truckin'!  *Winks*   I think Mom's Older Brother, my Uncle Syd in Wales, is numerous decades beyond the Terminal grim prognosis they gave him way back in the 80's and now he's well into his 80's and still going strong!   I think he's outlived several of those Docs that told him he had mere Weeks to Live over 30 Years ago!  *LOL*   I know Mom was supposed to die in the 1970's and simply refused to Receive any of it and Lived fully until her mid 80's... she left this side of Time and Eternity more on her own terms and not on some grim Medical Prognosis!

So that's where I'm at right now, thought I got inside my own Head for a Minute directly after the Doc Appointment, which was rather an Emotionally draining one, then realized I just wasn't ready to accept defeat or Receive any grim news.   So what's the Plan Doc... and they gave me yet another one, since all the other ones simply have not worked even tho' I worked them to death and have my Med regimen changed so many times now that it's confusing what the Hell we're doing NOW??!?  So many Changes that my Memory Care Issues are Challenged Seriously with it all at this Season of Life?!?   I Hate when Med regimens keep altering, everyone in the Family has been thru that and with this Crew having all their Special Needs Medically it's rather like being an Alchemist of sorts... since I never got training to be a Pharmacist, Doc or Shrink... I NEED to transform or Create something workable through a seemingly Magical Process around here!  *LMAO*

Now the Anxiety levels of The Force are heightened and especially The Young Prince keeps asking me if I'm Okay?   As if I'm going to Croak at any minute... and they dog me about having my Puppy Tag on me at all times... you know, the Medical Alert Tag you gotta have once your Condition becomes something that might require an Emergency Intervention by complete Strangers?!?  We had it made at Petco since it was way cheaper than ordering one via the Senior Health Products companies, which exploit the Elderly and our steady decline.  You want one in the shape of a Bone or with Bling I was asked as The Young Prince worked the kiosk where it's engraved as it sits in it's little Cassette thingy?!  The Force think it is hysterical I'm now wearing or carrying a Puppy Tag!  *Smiles*  NO... just a Plain Stainless Steel Military Dog Tag looking one will do... but I did choose a nice fancy but easily legible Font... so it's not a terrible 'Look'!  *Winks*

As we were looking at the Habitats for the Big Jungle Cats I have to Confess some Envy because I'd certainly dig this Environment in our Back Yard, you know?  *Bwahahahaha!*   The tiered faux Rock with Waterfalls and Pond with Jungle like Plants everywhere just looks so relaxing and like a Staycation Resort... well, sans the Leopards and Panthers of coarse.  *Winks*   They crept up behind the Kiddos when I was photographing The G-Kid Force, I thought they might do a Photo Bomb and scare the shit out of my Posing duo, which would have been hysterical!  *LMAO*  Actually I know they were stalking the Kids until they realized, shit, just out of reach, dammit... and they looked so tasty too!  *Ha ha ha*   Every time a Toddler or Small Kid walked up to the exhibit the Big Cats showed considerable Interest... and the Mommies were cooing, Oh Look, he LIKES you!    Yeah, he'd LIKE to EAT you The Young Prince would whisper under his breath and then both of mine would look at each other, Smile that sinister macabre Grin and we'd all crack up... you know, being the Addams Family sort that we just are!  *Winks*

I'm glad you always told us the Truth about the Wildlife Gramma, because every time we see some Idiot that gets too close to the dangerous Animals we're sure they were the ones whose Mommies told them, Oh look, he LIKES you!?  *Bwahahahaha!*   It is true, when I'm hearing some of the stupid shit Parents are telling their impressionable Youngsters around Wildlife, it's a Wonder any of them make it to Adulthood if they spend any time out in Nature... honestly!!!?!  Of coarse, sometimes I Wonder how some of the Parents made it to Adulthood... coz you can't fix Stupid!   One of our pet peeves at any Zoo or Wildlife Sanctuary are the Families who clearly have no respect for Nature or act ignorantly around the Animals and have the buck wild Child tormenting the poor Creatures and the allegedly 'responsible' Adults say or do nothing about it!   We feel it is vitally important for Adults to Teach Good Stewardship of our Wildlife and Natural Resources to the next Generations, so it is preserved for Generations to come.

So even tho' it was very Hot and Humid, the Zoo this Morning was Fun and we got a lot of good exercise in and enjoyed all of the Wildlife and Marine Life there.  This Zoo is very close to our Home so I'll probably renew the Membership in the Fall when we'll begin going more often again when the weather isn't as extreme.   For now, at Home, we've got our own mini Reptile Exhibit with Ivara and The Young Prince is fretting over her and spoiling her like he's the Father of a Newborn Child!  *LOL*   Will you Babysit her for me Tomorrow Gramma while I clean out her Habitat?   Shit, last time I Babysat Ivara while he was putting her Habitat together she made a beeline for me and my Dreads... so Note to Self:  Put your damned Locs up so she can't get to them this time!?!  *LOL*

So, I'll be lookin' a bit like Vintage Coolio Tomorrow... The Force think it's hilarious when I wear my Locs up and they're sticking out all crazy!  *Smiles*  The liberating part of having Dreadlocks is, you can wear them in crazy Styles and totally Roll with it... so there's never a Bad Hair Day... EVER!   Today I actually had them Up... tho' not quite this high... because the Humidity was such that I just didn't Care or want them Down... Comfort is the Name of the Game when Monsoon Season hits in the height of Summer around here!

Which is precisely Why I want one of these environments around here in the Back Yard one day... well, without the Cage... The Force is Mature enough now we don't need extreme measures to keep them corralled!  *LOL*   Though a top Mesh like that would be nice with hanging Vines all over across it for Privacy and Shade!

And now some Proud Gramma Grandchild Imagery for the rest of the Post, since one of The G-Kid Force's younger Sisters, who lives in Mexico, just Shared recent pixs of her new Hair Color!   She reminds me so much of our Daughter at that Age, which is Eleven for this Grandchild... since all of the Kiddos she had look like she Cloned them... and this one changes Hair Color about as often as her Mama used to and her Big Brother does!  *Bwahahahaha!*   Our Daughter had so many different Hair Colors we kinda forgot what her Natural Color even was?!? *Smiles*

Like The G-Kid Force, the rest of the Siblings all have luxuriously thick heads of Hair that grows amazingly fast.   And they too are growing up amazingly fast, almost at the speed of Light it seems!  It won't be long before almost all of our Grandchildren are Young Adults, there's only a couple now that are still very Young... most are already Grown or almost Adults already!   WOW... sometimes when we reflect upon that it makes The Man and I realize we're becoming The Ancients!  *Bwahahahahahaha!*   By the time all your Kids are Middle Aged and their Kids are now Young Adults it kinda throws you into this Weird Time Warp!

Old Age is a Privilege not afforded to many and I'm thoroughly enjoying the Journey into Old Age personally and Thankful to have attained it... however, my Friend and I were recently talking about how we didn't Feel like those Little Old Grannies you see all around.   We see these decrepit looking Old People walking around with much Younger Grandchildren than ours and we just don't Feel any kind of Connection to THAT Season yet.   Do you suppose those are the Great Grandparents I asked my Friend once?   Well, you're a Great Grandparent already she says, so I dunno... mebbe so... mebbe not... some people just look way older than they perhaps are ya think?   Perhaps... hard to tell... I've met folks I thought had Years on me and thought were of my own Parents Generation only to find out some were Younger than I was!   And I've met the sorts who are truly Ageless and with such Youthful Spirit they'll likely never Grow and Act or Look Old appearing really. 

But Time is marching on... and whether you Feel it in your Spirit or in your Bones hardly matters so long as you're Living Life as Fully as you possibly can.  I think the Quality of one's Life is way more important than the Quantity of it actually.   Are you Living a Quality Life my Friends?   What could you be doing, what Head space will it require, to Live a better Quality Life we should be asking ourselves daily?   That's why I thoroughly Enjoy spending time around Younger Generations and not limiting myself to just hanging around my Peers, the Young have an Energy and Zest for Life that is just contagious, generally Positive and Uplifting!   They See with Fresh Eyes everything around them!  They want to Experience as much as they possibly can.   Sometimes that Zest and Energy, that Positive Outlook can be Lost to the Aging Process if we don't Guard against it.

Watch how the Young Skip... Smile or Laugh often and just be Silly... and toss their Hair with wild abandon... when was the last time you remember doing that my Friends?   If you cannot remember perhaps it's time to do it again... to recall what it Feels like... regardless of whether anyone is looking or judging!   The Lazy Days of Summer and Dealing with Bad News is the juxtaposition that just can be Life... it can be Wonderful and Awful in rapid succession.   So just try harder to focus upon all that is Good about it and you want to experience more Fully in the Living of it my Friends.


With Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl