Two Days

Two more days until my Milestone Birthday, I'm looking forward to it, and plan to spend a couple days doing something random and spontaneous that is 'Me Time' exclusively on the day and the day after.   It will take two days to make an actual single Celebration day, since each day of coarse will be interrupted by taking The G-Kid Force to and from School.  Why couldn't School wait to begin at the end of August!?  The Young Prince actually has his first day of School ON my Birthday!  *Le Sigh*

I received a Surprise Birthday gift from two Sweet Friends from our Antique Mall, a Lovely Denim Jacket altered with Vintage Lace, just My Style!   I received a Surprise call from a long time Friend I haven't heard from in years.  She has recently Retired and Moved, now having time to reconnect and for Socializing.  We both agreed Careers can be so demanding and consuming, also that a Major Move and Selling a Home is, well, in a word... Exhausting! 

 With Retirement usually comes such Freedom, so she is going to Travel and later on find a new Property to buy that will be the Forever Home.  I am very Happy for her, she's worked very hard for many years and deserves the best Life has to offer.  We met during our initial Corporate Lives in Banking Careers many Moons ago, working for the same large Bank and commuting via City Bus together.  It seems almost like a Lifetime ago now... since we were the ages then that some of our Grandchildren are right now!

Ironically our Corporate Lives continued along similar Paths after the Banking Careers ... hers into a Law Enforcement Career and mine into a Career at the DA's Office.  Our Children grew up together and some of our Grands are the same ages.  So there is a lot of History there, History you just can't replicate when you meet New Friends at this advanced Season of Life.  So it will be nice to reconnect again and catch up from where we left off... when we've gone off the grid of each other's lives.

We have always had many parallels in our Lives actually, so it's effortless to pick up where we left off every time we have had a very long absence of contact and a disconnect.  She's very much like a Little Sister to me and our Children grew up more like Cousins than just Friends.  We discussed how many Inner Circle people we once knew have either Moved away or Passed away, the Circle is shrinking rapidly. You get a sense of your own Mortality from the sobering Reality that Tomorrow is Promised to no-one and some are no longer around to even Enjoy Today now with us!

I have always Believed that people come into and out of our Lives for reasons and for Seasons, there is an ebb and flow to it.  Which never ceases to Amaze me in the Wonderful Rhythm and Syncronicity of it all.  I'm Wondering now what other Birthday Surprises are in store for my 60th Birthday?  I'm not much of a Planner of what I actually DO for Recreation or Socially and therefore I prefer it to unfold as it will.   I'm more of a Planner when it comes to the daily grind of Life and Financial matters or obligations, that's enough Planning and Conforming for me!   For 'My Free Time', since it's Rare, I prefer to be a Free Spirit and spontaneous!  *LOL*

Now, you already know I got my Vintage MP Bag as my main pressy for The Birthday... but I did 'Score' some incidentals as well that aren't necessarily Birthday specific, but just Cool.   This very Old armless full Female Mannequin wearing a Hand-Made Tutu Top of Paper Roses and Accordion Tutu Skirt I only paid Sixty Bucks for... how appropriate since I'm turning 60 huh?!  *Smiles*  I'd gauge her Age to be from the Forties or perhaps earlier.  She's as heavy as a Boat Anchor so schlepping her Upstairs to the Art Studio was like carrying a Real Adult Person!

The Vendor I got her from at our Antique Mall is liquidating and moving to Canada very soon to accept a new Job, so needs to dispose of almost everything she owns.   Since this had originally been almost $300 I just couldn't Resist when she dropped down to just a mere $60.   The Grands think she's Creepy as Hell so I stood her in a Corner of the Art Studio Loft looking in the direction of their Rooms... perhaps it will prompt them to get busy cleaning those Spaces up?!   Once the Rooms are in Order then I'll move Creepy Sentinel Mannequin Woman!  *Bwahahahahahahaha!!!*

Don't Judge, you haven't seen their Rooms!  *Shuddering!*  Can you only Imagine how many Hours of Hand-Work it took to Create the Hundreds of Paper Roses and Accordion Skirt made from Vintage Music Ephemera that are glued onto her Fabric Body Suit!?!   I actually prefer how Aged the actual Mannequin is and the Patina of her surface, Evidence of her advanced Age and showing History of a Back Story, whatever that may be, I can only Imagine and Wonder!?!

So then I'm at a Retail Chain Store and they had the most Amazing Hippie Style Dream Catchers... CHEAP!   My Cashier was Admiring my Purchase and said she always has thought about Creating some like these, I says, why bother when they're this CHEAP!?!  *LOL*   She would probably get an Employee Discount too... and Honestly, I couldn't even Create these as Cheaply as I bought them for, so Color me Rainbow Happy!

They will eventually go into The Meditation Room Upstairs, whenever I get around to actually Styling that Room rather than having it be a catch-all!   I Plan to hang all three of them I bought over the Gypsy Curtains I Plan to Create from gossamer Vintage Sari Materials I have stashed away over the years.   The Curtains will go up across the French Doors leading to The Balcony Of Death in what is now the Juliet Room, but will one day Transform into The Meditation Room.   For the sole sake of Photographing all three Dream Catchers I just hung them up on one of my Cabinets Of Curiosities.   This one had the Colorful Feathers with Black Suede Leather and had more of a Native American fusion of Funky Boho Vibe.

The other two have more of an East Indian fusion of Funky Boho Vibe with the Pom-Poms and Sari Wrap Hoop.   There were only three Styles and I bought one of each, they're quite large so will look Perfect as I want to eventually Style them across the French Doors with the Gypsy Curtain backdrop.  When the French Doors are open to the Balcony and the Breeze hits the gossamer Gypsy Curtains they should billow nicely and cause the Dream Catchers to sway in a hypnotic way.

This will all take Time of coarse and with Autumn fast approaching I can hardly wait to get busy getting Villa Boheme' in Order!!!   I had stalled over Summer since it's been so freakin' Hot and Humid, not to mention my Apathy, which has been Epic this year.   It was somewhat of a kick in the arse towards the right direction for The Young Prince's Paternal side of the Family and the Old Friend who recently reconnected with me to all say they'd like to come over and see our New Home!   Yikes, I'm not giving Tours with it looking like this, Heaven Forbid, the Shame of it!  *Bwahahahahahaha!!!*

Okay, so even tho' Lifelong Friends and Family take you as you are and know that I'm no Domestic Goddess by any measure, I still want the First Impression of our New Home to be something I could be Proud of showing off!   The distraction of a Messy Home is something that makes me just want to cringe, since even I get disturbed by Chaos or Clutter in a Living or Working Space and tend to focus on The Mess instead of everything Positive about a location!

Actually The Young Prince's Dad just finalized paperwork on their New Home so are in the Process of Moving and Packing so their Apartment is a Mess.  The Lifelong Friend has temporarily moved into her Adult Daughter's Home so said their Living Spaces are in Chaos and Cluttered too since they combined households just last Month after her Home Sold.   So I know they can relate to my dilemma of having too much to do and also trying to get a Home completely Moved into and Orderly.   You just don't realize how long it can take and how much it takes out of you!

So, I should probably just Relax, do whatever I can do before any of them comes over for the visits and apologize for the rest that I don't get around to!  *Winks*    And also allow the Milestone Birthday to unfold as it will and Enjoy the Ride of it as it plays out... because I'm really looking forward to my Sixties, it's such a Liberating Season of Life to be entering and I'm Excited about it.  And now I'll end Today's Post since I have a certain tenacious someone whose been hovering since she came Home from School, looking over my shoulder anxiously awaiting whenever I get off the Computer so she can get online!  

And saying, Gramma, shouldn't you be starting Dinner or somethin'?!!?!  Hummnnn, can you only Guess who that certain someone could be?!?  *Winks*  And I'm Guessing that as well as being impatient to play Mine Craft or watch an LPS, Shopkins or Monster High U-Tube Video of other Kids playing with their Toy Collections, she's also ravenously Hungry, hence the mention of Dinner?!??!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!* 

*******

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

All You Need Is Love

I don't want to sound overly simplistic or trite, but in the wake of all the recent Hate mongering going on in our Nation the lyrics of The Beatles song "All You Need Is Love" came instantly to Mind.  The Song itself kept looping thru my Head as I watched in horror the News coverage of the most recent contemptible events unfolding before my eyes.

Hate sickens me at a deeply Spiritual level because it's such a Negative Strong Emotion and not of God, but in reality we all at least say sometimes that we Hate something particular.  I'm glad that whenever I use the word off the cuff, my Eleven year old Grand-Daughter quickly reminds me... Hate is a very strong word Gramma.   True that, it is, no matter what we're describing to attempt to justify it.

I can say for example that I Hate something very Negative or Evil, but that only then makes it a double Negative, doesn't it?  Actually feeding into it and adding fuel to the fire.  Me Hating just brings me to that same low level of Negative Energy, me Loving however elevates me to a higher level of Positive Energy to combat the Hate and the Evil.

But to see so much Hate in Action, being played out violently, well, it does make it difficult to contemplate Loving ways to Deal with it effectively, to Resist it so that Love prevails.  To not Deal in a retaliatory way that would be just as Negative and hurtful.  I have to Wonder, what incited such Hate in the Hearts of some Human Beings that it spills out against others?   I think in part it could be that they do see some as actually Being "Others"?

Some Hate is taught, passed down from generation to generation like a virus that infects the very Soul of a Family or group of people that unify in Hateful ways.   In that unity of Purpose, no matter how Negative or Evil, they find strength, solidarity and perhaps even justification of what they do or say for their Cause.  Not every Cause has everyone's best interests at Heart, or a Nation's.

Throughout History many Shameful atrocities have been committed for the sake of a Cause, let us be reminded that those who do not learn from History are doomed to repeat it.  After watching the horrific News coverage of all the Hate spilled out into our streets I turned the channel and was met with the evidence of Love in Action.  Of the Human Spirit not being corrupted and infected by Hate and extreme persecution, choosing to Love instead and be Triumphant. 

 An elderly Holocaust Survivor was being interviewed and her Testimony was infused with how unadulterated Love was a common thread of those who Survived the atrocities committed against them!  Choosing Love, focusing upon all that could be Positive and knowing the choice was theirs sustained them.  Certainly what she went through, who she lost through it and how unimaginable it all was, just because of who she was, could have incited deep Hatred instead... it didn't, so she was indeed Triumphant!

I was struck with how she said during the battle of the Warsaw Ghetto the hidden Books and Poetry was Needed more than Bread.  Yes, people were starving physically, but she said the Poetry and words of Hope preserved in their Sacred Texts was Needed MORE during those dire times and in the times later in the extermination Camps.  It was a Capital Crime punishable by Death to be caught with a Book, so it was a great risk, one they all felt worth taking!

How Positive and Loving this Sweet Woman was still, clearly it was a part of her Being and taught to her by Loving Role Models.  Well, it made an impact upon me of how weathering great adversity should be Modeled.  Love extended, even to those not worthy of being recipients of it, is indeed a Godly Virtue.  I don't know that I could have or would have been able to match the unadulterated Love of that Courageous Woman?!  I would like to imagine I could try hard to though!

Because it Shaped her as a Human Being in ways that Hatred just never could.  A Hate filled Human Being is just so pitiful, tragic, so unlovely and so repulsive to most, except maybe another Hate filled Human Being that commiserates.  Hate might fuel Action for a common Cause but it never has an outcome that is admirable or even sustainable.  Hate needs to be fed constantly like a ravenous insatiable Beast within, Love just needs expression in the Giving away of it freely.

I'd much rather choose Love, have Love and Give Love away than harbor Hate,  have to feed it constantly and have it end up consuming me with it's insatiable hunger.  I have never personally felt Good about hurting anyone, whether unintentionally or not.  Those that do feel Good about hurting another are clearly Tortured Souls themselves, probably with deep gaping wounds that have allowed such infection to set in and to fester, to end up being so toxic. 

I am not certain I have the Sage Wisdom to presume to know how to Heal the Hate that is harbored in the Hearts of those that express it so openly and savagely?  Or especially Heal those that harbor it Secretly so that nobody really knows it's even festering within them?  All I do know is that to Hate them back is clearly not the answer, it's just fueling reciprocal Hatred and then there is no Triumph in that outcome whatsoever.  Love doesn't prevail with Hatred smacking up against and trying to conquer Hatred, everybody loses.

And so my best advice would be that each of us expresses as much Pure unadulterated Love outward into the Universe as we possibly can muster.  Even in the midst of such Chaos, such Turmoil, such Hatred, such Conflict, such a lack of Unity as a Nation.  A Nation that was designed with the Admirable Intention of being One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for ALL!   Wow, wouldn't it be Wonderful and a slice of Heaven on Earth if we could actually attain that Utopia Imagined and Intended for us ALL?

"All You Need Is Love" ~ The Beatles

(Love, love, love)

(Love, love, love)

(Love, love, love)

There's nothing you can do that can't be done

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game

It's easy

There's nothing you can make that can't be made

No one you can save that can't be saved

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time

It's easy

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need

(Love, love, love)

(Love, love, love)

(Love, love, love)

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need

There's nothing you can know that isn't known

Nothing you can see that isn't shown

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

It's easy

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need

All you need is love, all together now

All you need is love, everybody

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need

Love is all you need

Love is all you need

Love is all you need

*******

Blessings and Love extended outward from the Arizona Desert... because it simply MUST start somewhere so let it Begin with ME.  Hate can only be effectively Resisted by the stronger and more Powerful Emotion of LOVE of that I am Certain ... Dawn... The Bohemian

Mehndi Envy

So, the Little One had been having fierce Mehndi Envy for days, every time I glanced at her she was gazing at my Hand enviously!  *Smiles*  So I'd Promised her that come the Weekend we'd head back to the Scottsdale Fashion Square Mall and the Henna Shoppe to get her own Mehndi.   Color her Happy now... and she got an ensemble and shoes plus a hair bow out of it, I'm such a Sucka slash Pushover Gramma!  *Winks*

*******

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Ramblings To Quell An Epic Funk

There are times when I just feel compelled to write, not about anything in particular, I just like writing.  Blogging has fulfilled that Need to write and it has been a pleasant outlet of personal expression.  I only wish I had the same Passion for pricing Inventory as I do for writing, because that's what I should be doing right now... but am not.  *Smiles*

Usually I try to keep up with what I know I should be doing, lately I haven't, my Heart just isn't into it.  When I'm rather in a Funk I stall out in a lot of necessary activities and retreat to what I just like to do, whether or not it's necessary.  It soothes the Spirit to just do something you like when you're feeling out of sorts. I can't even tell you specifically why I'm in a Funk, I just am.

With a Birthday Celebration coming up that I'm really looking forward to I'd rather not be feeling mired in Funk and risk spoiling a Positive milestone.  Not that I have a clue what I'll be doing on that day or have specific plans, but just because I've held it open for possibilities, no easy task with the scheduling on our calendar, which looks insane and is completely overwhelming!!!

The Man has a slew of long overdue and neglected important Doctor and Specialist appointments, finally he's on the VA's radar, which is a good thing, but a grueling thing.   Before we couldn't seem to get appointments at all, or in a reasonable time frame... now they're stacking up like cordwood quickly, but I don't want to complain, since it's all very necessary and important.  But it is overwhelming the both of us since it's so much all at once... and especially for him, which makes it difficult for me to comfort him about it all and get him on board and in a Good Head Space about showing up!!!

Comforting someone who is experiencing serious illness and disability, and total distrust of The System, isn't easy because the Positive encouragement rings hollow.  I have trouble believing it myself even while I'm trying to convince him in an upbeat way, my words seem totally made-up... because, well, they ARE!  Do I sound remotely Believable I often ask myself?   Even the Specialists can't seem to identify what is wrong with him and he keeps getting worse... so it's scary because he's definitely not getting any better.  On a bright note, the VA Experience lately has been actually very Positive!  WOW!

But I can't even say with any certainty that this is the reason why I'm in a Funk, because he's been sick and disabled so long now it's chronic, and I'm certainly not in a Funk all of the time in spite of it.  I thought perhaps it's my own health, which has hit the skids in recent years.  Maybe my own body battling significant illness has just taken it's toll on my psyche and stamina, I just don't know?   I do know I Hate giving myself insulin injections every day even tho' it is helping my 'numbers'.  I Hate keeping track of the 'numbers', I feel like a Bookie handling mostly losing bets, it's dismal and I don't Want to do it, but I Must.

I've felt so restless too, like I should be somewhere else, anywhere else except here.   Not that I know where that place is that the restlessness is seeking, I don't.  I keep looking, Hoping to spot the place and have it resonate with me some kinda way?  So far that's not worked out, but it has caused me to hesitate to unpack everything, just in case I Need to just pack it all up again, which would be a lot of Work.  And improving anything around here, well, should I even bother then?  Besides, funds are designated so many other places right now that Home improvements are on an indefinite Hold at the moment.

  

And then I consider, well, mebbe you should just focus on getting rid of as much stuff as you possibly can so you can travel lighter, you know, if you Need to just move on?!?   So that has amplified the Culling, Editing and Purging urges considerably.  But it's still way too Hot to do it efficiently... shit, it's been way too Hot to do it AT ALL, who am I kidding??!?!!!!  And besides, I do like a lot of my stuff, even still have strong Attachments to the best of it... even tho' it can be rather a burden, one not easily just shed.

But I Need to be shedding stuff, pricing it as Inventory and making Bank because The Young Prince is very fixated right now on those College Plans he can do while still in High School this year and next at reduced tuition.  It's a short Window of Opportunity so we must Act very soon, almost immediately.  I have his Dreaded IEP this Month once School begins, with his dismal Transcripts I have to ask if acceptance to any College or Trade School is even possible for this Child?!?  They were the ones that hooked us up with the College Recruiter, so perhaps anything is Possible, I'd like to Imagine that anyway.  I'd also like to Imagine I can manage to come up with whatever it's gonna cost, quickly enough.

I have convinced him the IT Security Class options are a better Investment in his Future than the Cosmetology one.  Nothing against Cosmetologists, they just don't make crap for all they have to pay for tuition and all the work to become one.   So I guess I'm opposed to making a significant financial sacrifice so he can perhaps make just over minimum wage and scrape by rather than prosper after working hard to further his Education and learn a Skill.   I just Think that way, it's the Retired Banker in me I suppose... that's what he said anyway.  *LOL*  He's very perceptive that way, he knows Finances is my 'Thing' and everything is relevant to me on the basis of is it a Good Investment or not?

But my Logic and Number crunching swayed him considerably, besides, he's very Smart so he understands and can keep up with me when I'm on a Roll about what to Invest in and why or why not.   I'm also persuasive, he can fuss with hair and make-up on the side once his IT income gives him better Options, I don't Care!  He's always been a Tech whiz, why waste that Talent... and he had to agree that IT Security probably has excellent job security since hackers will always exist.  Any field protecting businesses and citizens against criminal activity isn't drying up anytime soon with the direction Society is heading.  We went by the Campus Today, it's a very nice one and not so far away I couldn't get him there after his Morning High School Classes.

Oddly the IT Security Classes take less credit hours to complete and cost half as much as Cosmetology Classes and yet starting salaries are more than three times as much, go figure!!!  Sometimes there is no Logic in the College Pathways because amount spent has no direct bearing necessarily on what can be earned later.  Certainly there are tons of folks with impressive degrees and huge Student Loans that can't find decent Work that pays a livable Salary, I don't want him to be one of those grim statistics.  Besides, I'm severely limited on Bankrolling College for a couple Kiddos at this Season of Life... so we poured over what is a worthy Investment or a shitty questionable one.

He said the sweetest thing that touched my Heart Today as he's riding high on thinking about Career Opportunities that are Promising and could bring a Brighter Future and Independence.  I was watching the Travel Channel and it was featuring vacays to Bora Bora, which of coarse has been No. One on my Bucket List forever and ever.  When I'm making good money he says, I'm sending you to Bora Bora, since you've never been able to go because you're taking Care of everyone else and spending your Savings on what we all Need first.  Oh yeah, it was hard to get rid of that lump in my throat and choke back becoming a blubbering mess! 

You know, he really is a very Good Kid, even tho' he totally sucks at passing almost any of his Classes and possesses ample, even Superior Intelligence to... so getting him thru High School has been quite the Wild Ride.  To contemplate College is certainly a crap shoot, like rolling the dice in Vegas with the odds heavily stacked against you... but, let 'em ride!!!   I can be a big risk taker when it comes to Investing in Loved Ones, they're always worth it even if the money goes down the tubes, at least then we know what didn't work.  I know his Sincerity in wanting to take Care of me later on in Life is Genuine, Bless his Heart!  I am not even Sure whether he will be able to take Care of himself, given the extent of his Disability, but he's got a lot of Heart and guts and that goes a long way.

So perhaps it's a lot of all that shit, all rolled up and stuffed down that is causing my epic Funk, I dunno?   Sometimes my Mind just races a lot and the only thing that turns it off is long naps, I took a 5 hour nap and woke up somewhat rested physically but still on an Emotional fence.  I'm straddling that fence at a now ridiculously late hour and felt the Need to just write and let the words pour out as they came up and spilled out.  I Feel better for having done that, I always do, writing is therapeutic and it's Free.  I don't even Care if anyone reads it or not, that's never been the Point in the doing of it.

So it serves the same Purpose as a Journal or Diary I suppose, where you can just write random musings and quiet ramblings about anything and everything when you Need to.   And I Love my little Blog because it gives me that platform to be an amateur writer and photographer, both of which gives me a lot of Joy in the doing of it as hobbies that don't earn me a damned thing.  *LOL*  So... I should at least try to focus a little more on hobbies that do have earning potential... coz shit, Baby sure Needs more than new shoes this time!!!

*******

Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian