Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Post Seasonal Retail Therapy

I freely Confess that with The Young Prince going thru this Kidney Crisis I'm more than a bit of a nervous wreck about what might be wrong and all these Tests will reveal?!?  He's missing School again Today because he's just in too much pain to concentrate or function.  So far no Test already done has revealed anything conclusive so we have more Testing on Friday.  Each Test that comes back Normal is a relief... and yet, we Need to know what's going on, it has to be something significant that hasn't yet been identified!?!  So some Post Seasonal Retail Therapy was in order for Yours Truly, lest I get myself too keyed up just fixating upon Family Medical Crisis at the exclusion of all else.  I'm currently quite Obsessed with Felt Pom-Pom Decor for this Christmas.  So I was Jazzed to find our Antique Mall had this Felt Pom-Pom Wreath that identically matches my Garlands!  Hadda have it, Negotiated a Fair price on it with the Dealer before Work last Night.

The Pom-Poms are on both sides, some I've seen are only on the front, this Wreath is totally Felt Pom-Poms on all sides and is quite heavy and very Colorful.  I Need Cheerful Colorful stimuli right now, it's been difficult to remain upbeat and Seasonally Cheerful while Dealing with Medical Crisis involving a Child.   When a Child is Seriously Ill it is much more stressful for me than when an Adult is, my Maternal instinct just goes off the charts with Concern and into extreme protection mode!  The Young Prince is trying to downplay how Sick he really Feels because he knows the Alarm it causes me.  He's not one to ever complain about pain since he has insensitivity to most pain, so for him to be in agony and convey it means it's really bad again.   Last time this happened his Kidneys threatened to shut down completely and painful procedures had to be performed so he's scared that might happen again, he doesn't want to endure all that again.  I don't want to have to see him endure all that again either!  Damn the Western Medicine Pharmaceuticals that caused this damage!

My dilemma of coarse was that as Wards of the State, until I could Legally Adopt them, which took 15 Years to culminate, I had limited Authority on Medical decisions about discontinuing Treatments that are 'Standard' procedure for certain Serious and Chronic Illness.   Had I tried to discontinue Psychiatric Meds for a Seriously Mentally Ill Child in The System and tried to go Holistic, even due to the known risks of the serious side effects of the Western Rx Drugs used, I could have still been charged with Neglect and lost Custody so I couldn't ever risk that.  Until after the Adoption was finalized and I had more Parental Rights to individually choose as a Legal Parent.  And not have complete Strangers having to sign off on all of it thru Committee at various Agencies, because I was merely a Kinship 'Placement'.  I couldn't even Approve Surgeries, a CPS Caseworker had to, even when Princess T had the Throat Tumor, it took a YEAR to get that Approval and subsequent Surgery... it can be a slow Process and in some cases delays can mean the difference between living or dying!  So, after Adoption, once it became evident the Treatment for The Young Prince was causing Organ Failures and extreme Health Risks were apparent, validating my decision, with Doctor consent, to wean him off them totally to save his very Life was now Okay. *Whew!*

But now damage has clearly been done from all the years spent on a Med Treatment Regimen that had major risks that were not always conveyed nor revealed to Families being told it was the best Option for a Condition with no Cure.   He took the same Meds often given to those with Severe Epilepsy, so anyone who has a Child with that Condition understands how few Options are given to Families, to stabilize a Condition that left Untreated, can also be Life Threatening in so many ways.  It is very risky to take a Child off the Meds, it has to be done slowly and carefully to wean them from strong and addictive Medications... there will be the severe Withdrawal, which is no small thing to go thru either and breaks a Parent's Heart to Witness.  He was Old enough and Intelligent enough to concur with all decisions now and he went thru all that, and more, to get off these dreadful damaging Meds.  But now we Deal with the aftermath... and with SMI Instability and Living without Meds Stabilizing things... double edged sword to be sure.   He laughed when I showed him my new high quality Dia de los Muertos Cadaver Art Skulls Sourced while Goodwill Hunting... how appropriate!  *LOL*  He and I are Skully Obsessed... our Morbid Style and Gallows Humor sustains us.  When you're Dealing with Life and Death Issues so often you develop a different Coping Mechanism I suppose?

Cheerful Colorful Pom-Poms to Cadaver Art... yes, it's Polar opposite Attractions isn't it?  *Smiles* And then there is the Centered Attraction of the items I Source for my Meditation Spaces at Home.   I Sourced the far right Red Lotus Blossom Votive that identically matches the Orange and Green ones I already found Weeks ago while Junquing!   It's actually a Deep Red so I don't know why it just looks like a different kind of Orange in the pix, the other two photographed their exact Color... how Strange that some Colors photograph differently than they are to the Naked Eye?!???!   Since my Meditation Room Upstairs is still a Work not really in Progress, but moving in that direction at the Speed of Death, most items for that Room are scattered about Villa Boheme' rather randomly right now.  Mostly in those random Floor Vignettes that make no sense at all but which are a weak and lame attempt at an Illusion given to things I have no place for yet and just end up somewhere in a pile!  *LMAO*  I'm doing better at piles but I'm still a Work in Progress so what can I say?  *Winks*

Finally I got this Cute little Crowned Christmas Bird for 50% Off at a Craft Store. I don't buy a lot of Figurines now, but every so often I see one that I can't resist and at half price, couldn't resist this little Guy.  I mean he's an Animal wearing a Crown, that just about ensures him a place in my Home, right?!  *Winks*  My Friend Rita at Work just Scored some Taxidermy Chicks and Ducklings right there at our Antique Mall, don't know how I missed them??!??  She made the mistake of showing them off to me, now I Want them... but I'm not sure she really wants to Sell them... but if she does... she knows where to hawk them!  *LOL*   Her Family likes Taxidermy too and they do Source a lot of Killer Specimens, Keeping some and Selling some in their Booths at our Mall.  I have seen a definite resurgence in Taxidermy Love, even by peeps who generally never liked it before, so now that Art Form is being Appreciated again and becoming Trendy.   I'm Glad on the one hand that Old Taxidermy Specimens are now finding Good Homes to go to because they're Trending... and frustrated on the other hand that it's now driven up prices and competition to Source them.

I prefer it when nobody is looking for what I like and am trying to Source, I can get much better Deals and have no real Competition out in the Field when I'm Junquing for it all.   Once an item Trends, forget about it, everyone and their Gramma is seeking it and jacking up the prices.  *Le Sigh*  So then I try to find something else I can become Interested in and Fixated upon that can still be had at a Bargain?!?   So right now for me it's Felt Pom-Poms, which seem to be languishing in Shops so I've been getting them mostly at half price or at the very least not full asking prices.   The Young Prince teases me that I can get them for a Song because it looks like someone's Pre-School Kid made them.  He cites that his Little Brother {Age 5} could have made these for me as a Day Care Art Project for Grandparent's Day... well, whatever... I still totally Dig 'em so I don't care!!!  Because I Like what I Like regardless of what anyone else thinks about it... and until I gets all mine on The Cheap, PLEASE don't get Trendy with it yet, Okay?!???!??!   *Winks* 


Blessings, Love, Peace and Happy Hunting when you're doing YOUR Retail Therapy my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian

What Happened To That Girl?

Okay, so I'm trying to Channel that Girl that I used to be, you know, the Skinny Young Hippie Chick that actually was the Granola Gal kinda Health Food Nut and Yoga Fanatic back in da day.  All Caftans, Love Beads, Anti-Establishment, Jesus Sandals, Groovy Pad with a Jungle of Plants and smelling of Incense.  Well, I still smell of Incense and I guess this Pad is still Groovy in a more Macabre kinda Eclectically Weird way... and The Establishment still Sucks and Needs The Resistance!  *Smiles*  But, to eat like I used ta... I know it will make a difference to this dreadful Diabetic shit I'm now Dealing with in my Senior Years. So I'm trying to get back to a healthier Lifestyle that I actually followed quite effortlessly and Religiously when I was That Girl.  What happened to That Girl anyway?  Well, mi Vida Loca for a start... no longer the Carefree days of Youth when you could just focus on You and live the Life you just dig and flow with... and don't have to consider anyone else really.  Yes, it could be Peace, Harmony and 'I Love You Man' back then!   And let us not forget changes in Metabolism, which really got jacked up with hysterectomy, Menopause and the Chronic Stress of Caregiving for Decades... yeah, that'll do it!

But shit, we don't even have to go that far back to the 60's or 70's... I'm not even This Girl!   The 80's Big Mall Hair Corporate Executive Chick that led the double life of being an Aging Hippie on my own time and a freakin' Banker with a Socially acceptable impressive Title and prestigious Position while on the Clock!  *LMAO*  Honestly, who'd of thunk?  *Bwahahahahahaha!!!*   BTW, that's The G-Kid Force's Mama when she was about Princess T's current Age!  I think she was Eleven then, so slightly Younger... but so many similarities that it's both Nostalgic and more than a bit Scary too!  *Whoa... can I go thru those turbulent years again at this Season of Life I Wonder and manage to stay Sane!?*   And that's part of it too... accommodating The Tribe here, which don't really wanna eat Hippie shit! So either skip the Meal then entirely, the Guys, or have a bitch fit that she's not getting Mac-N-Cheese instead... out of the box, coz only cheap Yellow Death will do for The Princess!!!  *Le Sigh*  Twelve year olds can have insane Food Fixations, this one certainly does, none of which are usually all that healthful or practical!  I Wonder why I even still Care if any of them eat at all... EVER??!??!   *Winks*

Well, I know, it's my Duty to Care dammit and being the Obediently Competent Caregiver I do HAVE to feed them I suppose.  *Winks*   Tho' we drew our line in the sand and didn't serve up Mac-N-Cheese and so she denied herself Food in her usual Dramatic way, even tho' she Likes grilled Lamb Chops, Peas, Carrots and Salad... but, whatever.   The Young Prince wasn't eating at all, but he's been in a bad Head Space and Ailing with the Kidney malfunction so I'm not force feeding him, he'll eat when hungry too.   At least he was Calm and not unraveling like the dynamic duo who were having a Power Struggle right at Dinnertime that escalated until I Mediated and sent everyone off to their respective corners of the big ole' Villa to Calm Down!   Brain Damaged Veteran who Copes poorly versus Hysterical Tween with no Mood Regulation abilities! Yeah, it wasn't Pretty and nobody was Winning that War so I put the kabosh on the whole damned thing, who can eat with all that Chaos going on, it's not Good for digestion or appetite!?!   What happened to Peace, Harmony and Love... that shit went right out the Window for sure with this Tribe... over Food!  You cannot force Peace, demand Harmony nor get those being Unlovely and Trifling over nonsensical things to be Loving in that heated Moment, not gonna happen my Friends!   Any more than the proper Rest the Diabetic Specialist said is crucial is gonna happen in Full Time Caregiving Land, so whatever.

I Needed a stiff drink, even tho' I don't drink and that certainly wasn't on the Diabetic Friendly Meal Plan the Dietitian had so Carefully laid out for me in Class... assuming we were Normal People here at Home!  *LOL*  Well, yeah, those that drank had it squeezed into their Meal Plan and gave something else up... who knows, mebbe everything else up if they always Need a drink... but why bother to give anything else up if you really don't drink... so I wasn't complicating things further!  *Ha ha ha*   No, spiraling into Alcoholism wasn't on my Agenda either so that wasn't an Option for Coping!  So, No, hadda Cope Cold Turkey... nothing to take the Edge off except Blogging.  *Smiles*  And finally getting them all down for the Night, that Helps, which is why I tend to be a Vampire and stay up half the Night, it's the only guaranteed Peaceful and Calm, Tranquil part of my day usually!  And then I remember I Missed all my Snacks this day, the three Snacks in between the three Meals I'm SUPPOSED TO eat, but don't always have the Time nor remember to eat!   Dammit... there's 45 Carbs of my Carb Currency that is supposed to be spread out that I wasted this hectic day!  So I'm opting for a Protein at a stupid hour and my Food Log is helter skelter so perhaps the follow-up will make them realize how complex even just Eating can be in this household?!?  *Le Sigh*

And I'm pretty sure she'll see this entry at 11:00 pm of Grilled Mushrooms, Toasted Pine Nuts and a Grilled Italian Sweet Sausage as Crazy, mebbe even Insane... but why should the Meal be any different than the rest of my Life, right?  *Winks*   In my Head and now totally Snack deprived delusional State of Being, it seemed like a sorta Healthy Option to Salvage my Food deprived day of missing all three Snacks!  Besides, it tasted Divine and completely took the Edge Off, just like a stiff Drink might have.  So... since she figured out a way to let the others in the Class have their Booze on their Plans... mebbe she could make this odd Cuisine at ridiculous hours work for me, you never know?   Either that or she'll look at the Lifestyle situation and how that stacks up in the Food Log and decide Mrs. G you are totally screwed and absolutely doomed, it could go either way I suppose?!  *LOL*   And since she never knew That Girl, you know, the one I Used to Be... she'll never realize the rapid decline and that it wasn't always this way, but this is what's left to now Work with and try to Salvage!   Kinda like one of those derelict Old Buildings that you knew once looked way different in it's Prime and has seen a lot of Life, and is worth trying to Save, but now...Damn... it's gonna take a LOT of hard Work... Good Luck with that and I Hope it all works out...


Blessings and Love from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian 

Monday, November 13, 2017

Strike Three You're OUT

Well, so, here we go again... from a Wonderful Veteran's Day Parade this Weekend to Dealing with the bureaucracy that is the VA Hospital Today!!! *Le Sigh*   His THIRD re-scheduled Appointment for his Class and Fitting to receive the CPAP Machine that will help him NOT Die in his Sleep was to be Tomorrow Morning.  Since they haven't shown up to Transport him previous times as they should have, I asked him to call this Morning to confirm they ARE actually coming this time to ensure he gets there for re-scheduled Appt. No. 3?!? 

Seems though, that after already re-scheduling The Man's same Appt. THREE times to receive his CPAP Machine, which can ONLY be Scheduled on a Tuesday Morning at 10:30 a.m., when I can't get him there due to The Young Prince needing pick-up from his Alternative School in another City, they had omit a critical piece of information!!!   They FINALLY tell us they won't be providing his Transportation Tomorrow AGAIN because... wait for it... drum roll... they don't come out this far West of the Valley... ummm, just miles from Luke AFB! WTF?!?  Uh, and ya couldn't tell us that THREE damned cancelled Appointments ago for the past MONTH... when ya just didn't show up the day you were supposed to transport him before!  Strike Three you're OUT!!!  This has gotten Old FAST!

So, I try not to Go Off on The Messenger when The Man relays this unfortunate omission by Transportation, as I come Home this Morning from dropping Grandchild No. 2 off at School and ask if his Ride will actually be here Tomorrow this time?   By now The Man is already feeling so jerked around by the VA that he doesn't even want any part of the damned Machine now!  So me coming unraveled and going Postal wouldn't have soothed or smoothed anything over for him.  We've already established I can't be two places at once, so I can't take him, the Class and Fitting is several hours of Red Tape to receive said authorized Machine that his Pulmonary Specialist requested and advised.  Dying in his Sleep is starting to look even better to him and more preferable than figuring out how to actually RECEIVE it tho'?!??!

So I call Scheduling to give them a Courtesy explanation as to why The Man will be having to Cancel said Appointment AGAIN for the THIRD time due to the same Transportation Issues.  Would you like to re-schedule AGAIN she says robotically, we'll get Transport to set up another Pick-Up... uh, did you NOT just hear what I said Ma'am, they don't freakin' Service our area so they won't come get him!!!  And I can't take him, so NO, we won't be re-scheduling yet since there is currently no way to get him there.   We don't have Public Transport out here either, so I Need to find out who CAN actually assist us in getting his Machine another way due to our particular set of circumstances?!?   Insert long pregnant pause since now she has to actually THINK and not respond by rote!!!

Just so she's Aware, since I'm still using my Calm, Cool and Collected Voice... so she might NOT be Aware, I tell her I'm pissed off at being jerked around for a whole Month already, so let us not waste any more of my precious time dickering about what CAN'T be done for him.  Let us instead focus on WHO actually has a measure of Authority to GET THINGS DONE and Transfer me to THAT person... so I get patched thru to the Patient Advocacy Department.  This is where Problems and Grievances are allegedly sorted out... well, in THEORY anyway.  I've dealt with them numerous times before, I'm not even Guardedly Optimistic given their Poor Track Record of the Past... but it is the Grievance Route one must take once things get hopelessly cocked up!  *Le Sigh*

So The Grievance Advocate hears me out and says she'll look into it, because she says, we don't want his Pulmonary Appointments to be permanently dropped and his Case Closed since he's been a No Show all Month, thru no fault of his own.   Yeah, we've had the Permanently Dropped and Case Closed Fiasco before and what a freakin' Dog and Pony Show it is to get Picked Up and Opened again from the Limbo of Permanency Closure!  Lord have Mercy, NO, we don't want THAT shit happening again!   So, Okay, that's where we now stand... no Appointment, no Transport, no CPAP Machine, Advocates "Looking Into" the Problem and allegedly "assisting" us to rectify it so he can get his Machine and not Die in his Sleep while waiting!!!!!!!

And you would be very, very Proud of me my peeps, because I didn't Lose It, No, not even once, I kept Poised and Polite yet Firm.  I have found over the years, that Cultivating the Compassion of whoever is on the other end of the line just has better results than making them feel defensive or attacked.  If they can even remotely Relate to the frustration caused by bureaucracy, and since they work there, it's not as if they don't know it's the Status Quo, and Connect to the Vets and their Families it's at least Helpful and not Futile to talk to them.  Sure, they Individually are quite impotent to fix it all for any of the Veterans, I know this.   But Collectively, perhaps, we can make some headway in the mired muck that is bureaucratic Federally funded Healthcare for our Wounded Warriors.   At least that is my Hope anyway, before any more of them Die from just waiting for the Medical Services they so desperately Need and are so convoluted to Receive in time.


After about an Hour of being transferred to several different extensions and listening to the most God awful Muzak I've ever heard before a Human got on the phone each time, I Needed a very long Nap after retrieving The Young Prince from School.   But before I could do that we had to Schedule his Ultrasound Appointment for his Renal Issues.   I had a Stat Referral from his Doc, but lemme tell ya, the Civilian Sector Medical Scheduling can also be trying, to say the least.  We Needed a location near us... I Suspect the Young Lady on the other end of the line was not a Local because... she tried to Schedule me at a Deer Valley location {nope, too far East} and then a Paradise Valley location {NO even further East}!!!  Uh, we're Far West, that's all on the Far East Valley so just don't give me ANY locations with 'Valley' in the Name of them coz they'll be Eastside!  *LOL*

I finally gave her a sense of where the Far West Valley even IS so that she could look on her 'List' and get me a location that isn't clear across the vast Valley and would take hours of commuting.   She's still struggling to know which Towns and Cities are even near each other... I'm Wondering, is she even IN Arizona?!?  She assures me she is... are ya 'New'?!   *Smiles*  Finally, she comes up with a relatively nearby location that won't take an Epic Road Trip to reach... and actually does Renal Ultrasounds, since apparently, many don't that were on her 'List'.   But... {there is always the BUT... isn't there?}... I know the Doctor said Stat, as in RIGHT AWAY Today or Tomorrow... and mid-afternoon due to his Schooling... however, we can only get him in there on a Friday Morning.  *Le Sigh*

Well, it's NOT Stat clearly, but at least it's this freakin' week, had it not been a STAT request, no telling how long he'd of had to wait for an Appointment?!?!  So now he'll miss yet another day of School due to this Chronic Ailment, and at least the Appointment didn't overlap any of the others already Scheduled Out this Week, so it's the best we can do.  We'll work with it and if he has a Major Episode I already have instructions to take him to the nearest Emergency Room instead, which could happen... so that's the Backup Plan.   We do have The Man's 3rd Acupuncture Session this Week too, which IS going very smoothly, I Love that place, I Love Eastern and Alternative Medicine period!!!  *LOL*

And I also have my Girl's Day Morning Out coming up this Thursday, it's been switched from My Day to My Morning on account of having to pick The Young Prince up from Alternative School in another City by 11:30 a.m..   Which kinda cramps my Style and my Schedule daily during the Week... but whatever... at least he's pulling down some A's there and I'm not getting daily calls from Admin or Teachers telling me what we already know is 'Wrong' with him, diagnostically speaking.   At least this Alternative School does have a comprehension and grasp that a Lifetime Disability is just that... PERMANENT, no Cure, no Fix, no Magic, just Deal with it.

Yes, there is the ONE Teacher that seems to want to 'Guide' him forcefully into fitting into a Compliant Box he's NOT going to fit into, so Good Luck with that!  He already despises her and because he has Borderline Personality Disorder and levels of Paranoia and Psychotic Breaks, he is convinced she's fixated upon him! That's throwing him for a wobbler and messing with his Head space and Mood stability, since he's NOT Medicated anymore and cannot be.  

But at least he's communicated his problem with her to me... how she singles him out daily and dogs him with nagging and it's making him feel close to the Edge.  So I'll probably have to talk with her and the Principal lest they end up with a Situation if the Woman pushes too hard.  When you push the Seriously Mentally Ill too hard and have unrealistic expectations they cannot attain, all Hell can break loose, we don't want that Scenario playing out in Real Time when it's totally avoidable.  

He's pulling down A's in most Classes now, I'm told he's a Quiet Student and Participates Well in Class discussions, he Loves his new School and all the Staff but HER, he's not one of the Children with Behavioral Challenges, so there's no Need to Set him Off in my humble opinion.  He's rather like Nitroglycerin that way, he has Moments of Stability until he's not handled correctly, Kindly or gently... then it can get real dicey.   I really am quite at Saturation Point for any more unnecessary Dramas playing out, Life is Exciting enough for me Thank You!  *Winks*

 Photo Above cribbed from POCKET FULL OF HEIRLOOMS, an Amazing Shop! 

And the above Image, well, it always makes me Smile and I Needed that after this rather trying day, so Thank You Brandy for your Delightful Shop and Amazing Images of your Killer Merchandise... I've got an Order coming in the Mail, can't wait to receive it!!!  The Merchandise from her Shop is my all time favorite selection EVER!!!   Check out the Link above, you can Thank me later!


Blessings, Love, Peace and Tranquility from the Arizona Desert... where I've managed to Keep my Zen intact... Dawn... The Bohemian 

Veteran's Day Parade Phoenix 2017

The 2017 Veteran's Day Parade in Downtown Phoenix was a day of Celebration and Remembrance of those who have Served.   The Son, Daughter-In-Law and their Youngest met us there, The Young Prince and their Older Teens were not in attendance.   The Young Prince was Home Sick so we just brought his Little Sister, the Younger ones enjoy a Parade more than the Teens would anyway.  The Man had numerous people in the Crowd and in the Parade come up and shake his hand and Thank him for his Service, including some Generals.  The Bagpipe Player came up and stood before him and played The Marine Corp. Hymn and then saluted him, it was very touching and I had to fight back the tears of Pride.   I had The Man stand in front of the Huge Purple Heart Balloon as it was coming down Central Avenue, since he has earned three of them in his lengthy Military Career, along with a Bronze Star and numerous other Medals, most earned during Combat.   After the Parade we went to one of the local Restaurants that was Honoring the Veterans with a Complimentary Meal.  It was a Good Day filled with much Emotion and Pride.   Our deepest Gratitude and Thanks to ALL the Heroic Men and Women of our Armed Forces who have Served and Sacrificed so much to ensure our many Freedoms!  As many of you know Freedom is not Free, it came at a high price to many who have valiantly Preserved it for the rest of us, so that our Enemies and Adversaries would not forcefully take it from us.


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl