Saturday, August 18, 2018

Sweet Salvage And I Have A Birthday



So this year SWEET SALVAGE and I happened to Celebrate our Birthdays on the exact same day, they turned 7 and I'm slightly older of coarse!  *Winks*




There was Wine Tasting and Catering from Postino's, a Dress Up Photo Booth, suffice to say it was a very nice way to Celebrate my Special Day and theirs.




A Friend took me to Dinner later that Evening, the entire day from Sunup to Sundown went extremely Well and relieved a lot of stress I've been up under lately.




In Mi Vida Loca a day of de-stressing is almost a precursor to some epic Crisis unfolding tho' and my Birthday was no exception to that Murphy's Law Scenario playing out unfortunately!




It was a good thing I'd had some Wine Tasting to take the Edge Off actually so that I could handle the Emergency Call calmly that came in as I was driving Home late that Evening!




It was my DIL and I knew she wasn't calling at that late hour with Good News or just to Wish me a Happy Birthday!   The Son had just called me that very Morning before he went to Work to wish me a Happy Birthday, all had been Well then.




But Truth be told, for a couple of Weeks now I hadn't had a Peace about how he looks or his overall Health, even tho' he'd said nothing about it to alarm me.  Call it a Mother's Instinct and Intuition, you just have a Knowing when something is wrong with one of your Kiddos even if it hasn't been revealed yet.




Apparently for about the past two Weeks, about the same amount of time I've had this unknown foreboding, he's been having what appears to be Seizures.  He doesn't know he's having them, his Friends and the DIL have Witnessed them, didn't know what was going on, and didn't want to alarm me.




Apparently he was having a major one as they'd pulled off to the side of the road for her to Call me in a panic.  Hearing epic Seizure like sounds coming out of your Child over a Phone and miles away is absolutely terrifying!




By now I'd made it Home and since The Man has been a Paramedic I put it all on speaker phone while we had her Call 911 and stayed on the line with her to keep her Calm and tell her what to do until they arrived.




By the time they arrived it was the tail end of the Episode, which they Witnessed, but once he was coherent, or so they say he was, I'm not convinced, and refused transport since he had no idea he's having them and didn't know what was going on, they left him there for her to now try to deal with!




He was confused and not cooperative, but they made it home in one piece.  The next day I've talked to him during his break at Work to implore him to get this checked out.  To convince him that he's having Episodes that seem Seizure like and we have no idea what could be triggering them since he has no History of Seizures.




He does have a History of other extreme Chronic Health Issues and so I'm very concerned of coarse, especially since he's now only doing Day Labor in the Trades after a Layoff so has no steady job nor Insurance at the present time.




I have two of the Adult Children with Chronic extreme Health Issues and Disabilities, but no Insurance, it's a scary space to hold since you know they're not receiving adequate Health or Mental Health Care.




It is always iffy if they will qualify for any Assistance for Medical or Mental Health needs or not?   The Daughter is in Mexico so she definitely will not... The Son is Local but this State sucks with providing Health Care for the uninsured or under-insured in the population.




I dread having to help him navigate The System to see what he might qualify for to receive any Medical Treatment he can't pay Cash for or be turned away?  We've been down this road before, Obamacare didn't fix everything and this Administration is undoing what little did get fixed for those who cannot afford unaffordable Health Care.




It was not a good way to end a Wonderful Day of Birthday Celebrations, that I can tell you!   I've been in an Emotional downward cycle since the Call, knowing what incredible damage Seizure activity not managed or treated can do is scary shit!




Knowing what damage even with Treatment and Management Meds can do is about just as scary to me.   Not knowing what's going on until it's diagnosed is torturous and I Pray he won't just avoid seeking Diagnosis due to finances and fear?




Most Young and Middle Aged people I know are basically living paycheck to paycheck just like so many of us Retirees are nowadays.   Most cannot afford to miss many, if any, days of Work to be able to pay the bills and Rent.




Knowing that The Man and I are limited in just how much we can do for any Adult Child or Adult Grandchild is very hard.  Into Adulthood they must make their own way if Parents already have a full load, which we unfortunately do.




I feel spread about as thin as any person can possibly be already, it's exhausting without MORE piled on.   But Life piles on and doesn't really Care how much you're already carrying as a load.




There have been a lot of changes, not all have been Good.   I had made a vow to myself that I'd approach problems with more Positivity, I made the vow ON my Birthday, it was hard to remain Positive by the time the Night was even over!




You can't Do Life FOR other people nor make all the best choices for them, you have to just Trust they'll make the best choices for Self, even if they have impairments and 'Issues' that certain Disabling factors cause.




I remember vividly how painful that was to accept when each of my Parents reached that certain Age where they weren't making Good choices anymore and became vulnerable Adults.  Yet Adult Protective Services for years deemed them 'fit' to make their own choices and decisions, thus I just ran damage control constantly.




In the realm of Mental Health or Traumatic Brain Injury with the SMI Teen or Adult, or with a higher functional TBI one, you run into the same obstacles as a Loved One looking out for them.




They have the Right to refuse Care or refuse to take their Medication, you cannot force it upon them.   I struggle with finding the best methods to coax any of them into receiving Treatments or Meds that will manage conditions that have clearly gone Left.




In some cases those Meds do more Harm than Good... and have serious side effects, so I cannot tell you the Guilt Trip that lays upon the Caregiver or Loved Ones who convinced them it was the Best choice.




I know that Big Pharma Meds used to Treat Seizures are very controversial and many are extremely Addictive and can be very damaging.  I know how The Son feels about Bad Medicines, he's had more than his fair share of them to Treat Title 19 Disabilities he was diagnosed with from a very young age.




He quit his Med regimen at age 18 when he became an Adult, he's managed relatively Well except that he often self medicates, which is not uncommon and which causes an even more complicated Life.




It is very hard as a Loving Parent to watch any of your Children struggle with serious Issues... of any nature... and especially ones they were just born with and which have no Cures.




I always told my Kiddos that Life isn't Fair otherwise Bras wouldn't come in Sizes... and whatever Hand dealt, you just gotta Play it as best you can.  I feel they've Played their Hands dealt as best they can, for that I've been Proud even when they mess up or are a Hot Mess.




I myself feel pretty much like a Hot Mess lately, Coping hasn't been effortless and sometimes it hasn't been Successful either since there just is A LOT going on.   Having at least some of my Birthday play out Well was something I was Grateful and Appreciative for.




The next two days after the Birthday haven't been so swell... I hadn't even wanted to bother Blogging this Post or downloading my Images of the Birthday Day.   Having Elvis and now Dear Aretha pass on my Birthday was sorrowful, both were Music Icons and leave a void in that Industry!  




I also still have a partially painted Black Wall upstairs in the totally unfinished Meditation Room and stuff scattered all over the house in piles waiting for Placements!




I have been very Slack of late, I have had ample Don't Give A Fucks even tho' that's absolutely no way to Be.  It's not my usual state of Being and so it's not comfortable and I doubt I'll wallow there in discomfort, but it is a mired mess to get unstuck from and out of!




The Diabetic Thing is still not as stable as it could or should be, I'm up to several shots a day, I loathe giving myself each and every one of them... along with the handful of oral Meds this disease requires at this stage of it.




I have altered dietary habits considerably to accommodate it and I exercise and am more active than most people half my Age.   After all, I'm still raising Kids with Special Needs and taking Care of a Vulnerable Adult into my Sixties, so the pace hasn't eased up very much since I was half my Age!




Therefore I REALLY wanted to get this Shirt at the Event, alas, it wasn't in my size and was only a Medium so there was no modifying that was gonna make it Work either!   Dammit!!!  I'm pretty sure by the end of the Birthday Night and unfolding Crisis with The Son I probably looked like this actually!  *LOL*




I have been so exhausted and despairing of late that I've taken to long Midday Naps when I can.   Rest has a way of renewing me and I don't get nearly enough of it and so I take it whenever my body just says lay the Hell down and Sleep it off!




I have been having a Fantasy of Insurance Companies just funding regular Vacays to Exotic Locales for those of us who have Loved Ones that cannot be Cured and which cause Fucked Up Lives.   Why Not?  It would be cheaper than Treatment that doesn't Cure nor often Work and is so costly.




I think people could just Deal better with Incurable diagnosis and Dealing with the Insanity some of these Conditions cause in Daily Living if they at least knew they had a Week's Paid Vacation coming up somewhere Fabulous!




Perhaps I'm only speaking for myself in Caregiver Mode when I say Mi Vida Loca would be probably Coped with better with the backdrop of say Bora Bora for a Week of it, even if I had to take the whole Insane Posse along with me!  *LOL*




Sitting with my Toes in the Sand in some Tropical Paradise sipping a drink with a little umbrella being served up by some Handsome Polynesian Stud Muffin while Caregiving just wouldn't SEEM so bad that Week I think!?




I Wonder if any Insurances would take that seriously if it was put in the Suggestion Box, even the crappy ones that don't wanna pay for anything?   Probably not... but I do like to Dream Big.

*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


Wednesday, August 15, 2018

The Gonk Shows Up 44+ Years Later!



Okay, so remember my Blog Post from only last Night when I was Nostalgically recalling Childhood Favs I've never seen again and Wished I'd kept from my Youth like the European Carny Prize Gonks?   Crazy Serendipity and the Laws of Attraction working at warp speed never cease to Amaze me... the Gonk shows up after 44+ Years and far less than 24 Hours after Blogging about Fad items like the Gonk that I Miss and Wish I'd kept one of!    Seriously, I haven't seen one of these EVER in the U.S. since we returned from Europe in 1974!  So imagine my utter Amazement when we walk into a Goodwill Today and there's a Vintage one from Poland in the Toy Bin, almost exactly like the one I remember having in the early 70's in England and pointed out in Yesterday's Post of a Vintage Pix of a grouping of them!  OMG, I just Blogged about the Gonk Yesterday Night... and he suddenly and unexpectedly shows up after all this time and I got him for a Nickel Today... just WOW!  The Laws of Attraction always seem to work in hyper-drive once you put voice to it!   So here he is, he has Felt and Leather Feet, Rabbit's Fur and Felt Body and Face... he's in remarkable condition for his Age, Felt and Rabbit's Fur don't Age Well and his Body is stuffed Cardboard, also not something that stands the test of Time usually!  I was an excited as a little Kid, The Grandson was equally Amazed, he'd been in the room when I was creating Yesterday's Post last Night and was with me at the Goodwill when I Scored this!   Never discount The Laws Of Attraction working in your Favor my Friends... this is not the only time something like this has happened... and yet EVERY time it does I stand in Awe!  And my Birthday being Tomorrow, well, the Timing couldn't have been more Perfect!





And one of my Beautiful Grand-Daughter's in Mexico, who is a year younger than her Sister, Princess T, sent this pix... which is another Present in and of itself since I cannot watch her grow up in person!   Every Image of a Grandchild makes my Heart Swell!!!


*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Monday, August 13, 2018

Merchant Square... Head East



Head East!   And so sometimes I just have to since the Eastside does have some fab destinations to make pilgrimages to even tho' it's gonna be an epic road trip from the far West Valley!   This is the one piece at MERCHANT SQUARE I didn't come Home with but had budget been not as limiting, she would have certainly graced my Meditation Room Wall and I think she really did want to come Home to Villa Boheme'!  *Winks*




So many Lovely items to tempt me at the Antique Mall as well as at the Event, this was a companion Poster to the above one, but out of the two the other one was my Favorite.   They seemed older and had wavy condition behind the glass but they still were very lovely Graphics, only too spendy to consider even just the one... boo hoo... don'tcha Hate when that happens?!




As you know I did pick up the front Vintage Chalkware Carnival Kitsch Indian on a Horse... I already have a Western Horse similar to that Lovely one behind it.  I don't know why but Carnival Kitsch just reminds me Nostalgically of all those European Gypsy Carnivals we used to go to and won such prizes on the Midway as orphaned mismatched China and Toilet Paper Rolls covered in Rabbit's Fur with Googly Eyes glued on and Felt Feet that were all the craze in the 60's and early 70's in Europe and called Glooks or Gonks as I recall!  We LOVED and Cherished those cheesy Kitschy Prizes!   Modern Carny Prizes just don't compare!






For the uninitiated in Glooks and Gonks, if you weren't in Europe or Australia during those Eras, I don't know if they had them as a craze in America at the time, so here's some Pinterest pixs I was able to come up with.   Mine Won at the Gypsy Carnivals in England resembled that Rabbit Fur Fella in the back Left side with the Orange Eyes.  But I did have some faux fur ones in Vivid Psychedelic Colors that under Black Light glowed like the Posters from that Era and you could comb the Hair of and had the Plastic Googly Eyeballs like those in the 2nd pix!  They kinda had a Cousin It appearance and since The Addams Family was a Cult Classic Fav during that same Era... well... *LOL* 




Anywhooo, I Wish I'd kept at least one since I've never seen them since on this side of the Pond at all... nor the Madly Popular Maxi Tapestry Coats we wore either... and I really Miss both enough to Wish I'd still have one of each.   Sadly, the Kitschy Toy Fad was never built to last, most were Sold in Drug Stores or Won at very small Carnivals where they'd clearly been Home Made.  And the Maxi Tapestry Coats, which I J'Adored and Lusted after like you wouldn't believe, I never could afford, nor could my Parents, so I never owned one even tho' numerous Friends did.   At the time I only had Babysitting Gigs and worked for an Irish Gypsy Jewelry Peddler at the Thetford Flea Market on the Weekends, so I was kinda a broke Hippie Teen!  *Le Sigh*




Is there anything from your broke ass Youthful Past that if you could find it now, where you could afford it at this Moment in time, you'd buy in a Heartbeat?  *LOL*   I have, over the years, found a few items... my 3-Face Hedda Get Bedda Whimsie 1961 Doll being a prime example... she was spendy in my Childhood so I never owned one.  But I played with my Friend Verna Bressette's Hedda since she graciously Shared her with me. 




 She was spendy on E-Bay in the 80's when I could finally find one in good original condition. {Mine has original Yellow seersucker PJ's but no longer has her thermometer for her Sick Face}  But I never hesitated to procure her even tho' I'm not at all a Doll Person nor do I Collect them... but her, I Hadda have Hedda!  *LMAO*  I remember her rubberized Skin was the most realistic of it's Era for any Doll.   My Kids and Grandkids always wanted to play with her but she was Off Limits... MY coveted Toy I couldn't have as a Kid... so no way, I wasn't Sharing her lest she become damaged and ravaged actually being played with!  *Gasp!*




In my Senior Years {and I don't mean High School... ha ha ha} I also bought back some of my Childhood in the form of some Liddle Kiddle Dolls which were a Childhood Fav Toy.  I remember leaving those with my Younger Cousins in Wales when I outgrew them and we were downsizing to come back to the States, never considering being a Toy Collector and dragging them around for Years.   I'm still not a Toy Collector, I just wanted a few Nostalgic pieces to relive my Childhood since clearly I might be entering my Second Childhood at this Season of Life!?!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*




But I digress, back to the Antique Mall to continue trawling for Treasures!  *Winks*   And lets face it, don't most of us LOVE the Antique Malls and such places BECAUSE it brings back waves of heady Nostalgia when we see things from our Pasts?!?   Even if I don't want it now, it's still a Rush to see it again and remember.  I was in our Antique Mall the other day and saw some hideous Vintage 1970's inexpensive China that my Parents once had for every day, since Mom was one to actually have and use the Good China too... and then some equally hideous Coffee Mugs I once owned from the 70's too... hilarious!




When I see things now that I think are just awful it makes me Smile to remember that at one time, I LIKED or perhaps even LOVED those Designs, Patterns, Graphics, Styles or whatever and it's absolutely hysterical to me looking back!  I'm like, what were we thinking?!??!?!?!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*  Of coarse I recall having Burnt Orange long Shag Carpeting I had to rake... some very over the top Hippie sensibilities in Styling that must have seemed like I was on a Bad Trip...  *LOL*




And let us not forget the Howard Johnson style and coloring of faux Leather Futuristic lines of Furniture that I recall being in such hues as Turquoise, Flight Line Orange and Vivid Yellow!   Owwww, my Eyes... my Eyes!  *Winks*   They were comfortable tho', lasted Forever {Mom still had some just before she passed}, and they were Fun Styles that felt Cheerful and Welcoming.  Of coarse the Mid Century Mod has Trended again so I'm certain some of those pieces could fetch a handsome amount nowadays if you held onto any.  I think Mom's good Friend Waffa got her Chrome and Mustard faux Leather MCM Dinette Set which us Kids remember from the late 60's thru well in to the 2000's in her Homes!




Yes I did hang onto some of the Vintage items my Parents held onto and after they passed I just couldn't dispose of.  It seemed as if since they held onto it all those years it must have had some special sentiment attached that I should Cherish myself as a fond Family Memory and Memento.   But mostly we didn't Keep a lot... over the years it either got Lost in transit on our many, many moves while Dad was in the Military... or we downsized for each move and started over a lot.   When you are leading a Nomadic existence you travel Light on purpose.   I did too in my earlier Adult Nomadic years and never Kept much with all the moving.  Perhaps that is why now I Keep more, I dunno?  If I had to schlep all that shit often and place to place I'd probably still be traveling Light?!?  *Smiles*





I have been asked when I became a Maximalist and I have to Confess it's fairly recent really... Mid 2000's!   Definitely coinciding with staying put, inheriting Grandchildren to raise and Full Time Caregiving... so there might be some subliminal Message in that, I dunno?  *Ha ha ha*   Stuff has a way of insulating and sometimes you just Need that I guess... other times you definitely do not.




Not only in regards to Traveling and moving a lot, I also think I hardly ever stayed Home very much.  With demanding Careers in my Corporate Lives and a busy Social Life back in da day, I think I didn't have Time to Feather the Nest much, nor much of a Desire to do so since I wasn't there that much to Care.  I'd Admire the Dreamy Homes some people Styled impeccably but I just wasn't that Into it until much more recently.   I had always Collected to some degree, but not Keeping a lot of any of it.




I recall having Fun building a Collection of this or that but not having any real attachments to hardly any of it so disposing of it was easier.   The Thrill of the Hunt was always the best part of searching for anything or nothing at all... and it still is.   I just became more of an accumulator in my Old Age... as seems to be a definite pattern for us Aging folks and I can't really explain Why?




And then the time comes for shedding, culling, editing, purging and curating whatever possessions you just end up with Too Much of after a while.  Particularly during Retirement when you might wanna minimize, downsize or just not have so much to take Care of anymore!   I'm at that phase and stage right now and working towards Less Is More mentality.  Tho' once you've become a Maximalist that is indeed a Process, I ain't gonna lie it doesn't happen overnight and could in fact take years to accomplish if you accumulated a lot!  *LOL*




And of coarse there is that other pesky Issue of... you don't just Stop... and you don't wanna Stop really... not entirely Stop if you're enjoying the Ride... the Journey thru Life and finding Cool shit and bringing it Home to Enjoy for a while!  *Smiles*  It is Enjoyable, you get really damned Good at it... and if you can make some discretionary income on the side too... well... why Stop!?!  You've taken years to perfect the Art of it!




You might also have Scored the Motherlode of various items you really don't want nor intend to part with too... and it adds up... and you've got to decide how long it will stay... or when it should go?   And if your Heirs or Friends would like any of it... or all of it... and so on and so forth.  I mean it is kinda your Legacy for someone to Inherit one day!




I will probably leave a shitload of Legacy behind... especially if I keep this ridiculously large Home because it would look ridiculous empty!  *LOL*   So I guess it all depends on how much I downsize as Time marches on and how much I have to get rid of and thus will get rid of some kinda way if I just Need to?




I have thought upon, what would I Keep if I moved back to a Modest sized Home one day?   A Caravan again one day?   An Apartment?  A Senior Living sorta Arrangement?   It's all very contingent upon what the Future actually will hold and how much Space can hold it?  *Smiles*




I've imagined the Fire Drill scenario too... what would be snatched up in the case of an emergency or a Natural Disaster being imminent?   I'd have some very hard choices... I think anyone would in those particular sets of circumstance, but it does give one a better sense of real in your face Priority, doesn't it?




But in the meantime I still tend to be of the Hunter-Gatherer Tribe of folks... I might always be.   I'm still that Human Magpie that has things catch her Eye and cart it off to my lair!   I have stashes and cache' of all kinds of Weird Ass stuff that you wouldn't be able to find rhyme or reason for accumulating but I have!   




Princess T is more the one to ask me the questions about WHY do I have this, that or the third?   Sometimes there is no Answer... it's one of those Because, open ended Answers where there isn't really one anyone would understand!   Sometimes I don't even understand it!  *Winks*   Like that fav new saying I have about me being too Insane to Explain and you being too Normal to Understand.




This particular Event I didn't take an entourage tho' there were some people who were supposed to join me and just couldn't.  And that's the Beauty of trawling for Treasures too, I don't mind it being a Solitary thing or a Group thing.  It's just one of those things I thoroughly Enjoy whether I'm alone or with anyone.




It is one of those things that can transcend Generation Gaps and you can do with a variety of people all seeking something completely different and yet receiving equal Enjoyment out of the activity.   Everyone gets excited when they find that Special somethin'-somethin' they might not have even been looking for but which they knew they hadda have it when they discovered it!




And because trawling for Treasures and going Junquing doesn't require any forethought to what you're looking for, the Mystery and Surprise of what can be Found is part of the Rush actually!   You just never know... it's like seeking Buried Treasures or Winning something unexpected!




And now I'm trying to hold a Thought and finalize this Blog Post because I've got Princess T breathing down my Neck as she's got to do Online Digital Reading Homework because apparently they don't use Real Books anymore in School?!?   I just cannot get used to some Modern things... some Change that I just Resist!




I am rather that Militant Custodial Grandparent that goes to the School and asks why they can't just give the Kid a Real Book so that she's not hounding me to utilize our lone ancient Computer and be on it for hours and hours rather than curled up with a good Read like the Olden Days?!   *Smiles*




She's sighing heavily as I type this... and rolling her Eyes, I can FEEL her Eyes rolling behind me, I swear I can!  *Winks*   I don't get into the discussions with her anymore about why it bothers me that they don't use Real Books anymore and are so damned reliant upon all things Technology that they've become absolutely Addicted to!   You should see the face I get from her or the Young Prince when I go into that realm of Yesteryear compared to Now speeches!  *Ha ha ha*





All of her Young Teachers, none of which were probably even Born yet when I Graduated from High School, are slightly Understanding about why I don't want to enter the Parent Portal and shit like that!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*   And are amused when I ask them to pin a freakin' Note or something on her if they really wanna get my full Attention and Engage me in whatever the Hell she's supposed to be doing?!




And Honestly, The Man and I are more apt, at this Season of Life, to play hooky from shit than the Grandkids are, like we did this very Morning.   I was supposed to try to finish the painting of the Black Wall in the Meditation Room even tho' now it requires scaling the Ladder of Death coz only the top is left to do... he suggested I forego it and take him to LoLo's Chicken and Waffle Restaurant on the South Central side of Phoenix for Breakfast instead.   Guess what Won out?   We made the epic road trip over there arriving just in time to have the Breakfast Crowd clear out and before the huge Lunch Crowd showed up! *Winks*




This particular meal is probably NOT Diabetic Friendly he says as he gazes down at the incredible large serving of Sausage Gravy and Biscuits he'd ordered because he Dreams of their Biscuits and Gravy!  *LMAO*   Well, the poor Man has so few vices and Joys left in Life, I just couldn't dog him about ordering them, what can I say, if he dies Happy that's kinda the Point of Life, right?!  *LOL*




I order my Spicy Corn Fritters because they are Addictive and Heavenly... I Crave them sometimes and am putting in a request with God that they have these in Heaven!  *Winks*   The Sweet Mustard Dipping Sauce is also to Die For!




Since we're Regulars the Waitress forgot that I'm on a Meatless Diet and accidentally threw a Fried Chicken Leg with my dish instead of the Fried Okra I'd substituted... The Man didn't mind one bit, he got it and I got my Okra... also Divine... it was a Good Day to be us, I ain't gonna lie!

*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl