The Ordeal Began

Mix a Celebration with Challenges and whaddya get?  A Child turning 13, that's what... and so The Ordeal began!   I hate to actually describe it as The Ordeal, I confess it makes me feel a tad Guilty that Hanging Out and trying to Celebrate Princess T's milestone Birthday would be such... but I do like to keep it 100% around here!   These are the three Celebratory Images I got to capture thru the Eye of the Lens, before everything went completely sideways and nobody was having Fun anymore!  *LOL and Le Sigh*   Yes, looks can be very deceiving, one would think she was Happy this day!  You know, being she was going to be indulged with a trip to The Mall of her choice, with a Friend of her choice, a Spending Spree with a generous budget and a Meal of her choice anywhere her little Heart desired.  Yes, she relented and decided she did want to bring a Friend along, one more person to Torture and bring abject Misery to I suppose?!  *Bwahahahaha!!!*

But it did start out with Giggles, Unicorn Farts and Rainbows... all the way to said Mall... and then the tide turned!   She'd picked a Saturday at one of the most popular Malls in our area... uh oh... that meant People... lots of them!!!  This is my Wednesday Addams Grandchild who has considerable Social Anxiety Issues and does not Like People and is very Open and Obvious about it!!!   She easily Overwhelms and then a little bit of her goes a long way!  Thus we spent what seemed like an Eternity in a form of Mall Hell Pergatory Limbo as she refused to go into most Shops that had too many People in them and didn't pick out a single Gift for herself!  Her countenance was Misery personified and that was the only thing she was Sharing abundantly this day, MISERY!   Are we having Fun yet??!?!??!?!  *Le Sigh*  I'm at that Season of Life now where I just don't Do the Bipolar Mopey and Moody Thing Well, I can only take so much Exposure to it before I Tap Out and begin not to Feel Well from the Stress and utter Aggravation it Creates! 

As we traipsed and traversed a very crowded and very large Mall, that has two stories of Shops, and two now very Sullen Tweens in tow, I physically and emotionally began to deteriorate myself.  I tried to Encourage Happiness and Joy, made endless Suggestions of which Shops might have the best Fashions, it was an exercise in Futility!  Hell, by the time The Ordeal ended I didn't give a shit what she bought actually, so long as we could End this and come away with some Token of having Endured it!!!  *LOL*   She came away with nothing but Anger towards me, because since now I truly wasn't Feeling Well, literally!  The Dreaded Diabetes had reared it's ugly head with a vengeance in response to being totally worn out and Stressed Out, so we HAD to throw in the towel!  Dreaded Diabetic Episodes have sidelined me a lot in recent days, it sucks!  She had refused to go eat anywhere... SHE wasn't hungry... Friend and I were starving!  But Honestly, I just didn't have it in me by then to fight that battle and involuntarily take her out for a Birthday Meal to a place she refused to choose and would refuse to eat at... so we went Home.  Doesn't all that sound absolutely Celebratory and Fun my Friends?!?  *Bwahahahaha!!!*

I've spent the next couple of days trying to Recover from The Ordeal, which entailed one episode of Losing It when The Force wasn't the least bit sympathetic about Gramma now not Feeling Good at all and Ivara needing Crickets!  And I'm not exaggerating, I totally lost my shit and have felt like Death warmed over since The Ordeal... having 100 Crickets in a bag beside me when I'd rather not have dragged my exhausted ass anywhere wasn't Helpful!  But the one bright spot was we HAD to do some Grocery Shopping and she insisted on coming along.  This Grocery Store happens to be one of the Mega ones with a Clothing section and she found every Fashion she Loved there so we came away with a considerable amount of Birthday Wardrobe and Accessories... Thank You Jesus and a hearty Hallelujah!   Wow, a GROCERY STORE... who knew?  You mean we could have avoided that whole Mall Hell Experience had we just come there first I Wondered out loud?!?  Of coarse she still wants me to take her to another Mall before her Birthday and I just haven't had it in me yet to Endure another potential Ordeal, so I'm not exactly her Favorite Person right now... but I can Live with that!  *Winks*  The Young Prince has even suggested he take one for the Team and have me drop him off with her and some $$$ at any Random Mall and be Done with this?!?  I confess I have considered that as a viable Option... am I going to Hell for that?  *Winks*

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Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Random Acts Of Beauty

With having so many Family Medical Crisis hit all at once I just haven't felt like Blogging.  I've wanted to keep most of my Posts upbeat and having Positive Topics... random acts of Beauty are so much easier to cover than any Issues of Life.  I've actually been managing the Stress quite well, perhaps because I have a Meditation Room now to retreat to and restore my Soul, I dunno?  Perhaps because there was some Positive News and outcome to it all, so wasn't the worse case scenarios after all... Whew!

I do know that Beautiful Things and Beautiful Surroundings are like a Balm to my Soul so I intentionally expose myself to them whenever I can.   For a while I was rather fixated upon culling possessions and downsizing like a Mad Woman because it seemed to be what I should do at this Season of Life.   Now I'm not so obsessed about purging stuff... I rather like most of the stuff I have left even if it is still a lot!  I'm rather a person of extremes and perhaps it doesn't bother me so much to have Maximalist tendencies after all?  *LOL*

I have decided to just Keep our Big Home and not try to squeeze everything into a more Modest Space for now.  In fact, just contemplating that... and another epic Move... was rather Stressful to me and I just didn't Need unnecessary Stressors like that!  I almost did it, Thankfully both Properties I was considering went under Contract just in the nick of time and I took that as a Sign to just stay put!   I decided to personalize this Home rather than holding back on putting my Quirky Stamp on the place just to make it perhaps more Appealing to the masses if I put it up for Sale.

I think that too has made a difference, I no longer Feel as though I'm a temporary Resident in a Lovely turnkey Home that somebody else chose everything about and was devoid of my Essence in the chosen palette and vibe.  The previous Owner did have impeccable Taste and I Love what she did with the place, the Warm Tuscan Palette is soothing and Beautiful, the Sepia Tones are Ideal for this Architectural Style so I totally dig it.  But I did NEED some of my Jewel Tones... my Black and Blood Red Walls... well... Kabuki Red according to the Paint Card Sample Naming of the Hue.  *Winks*

I also NEEDED to finally totally unpack... I think I had hesitated to unpack everything lest I might Need to pack it all up again, I dunno?  I'd kept a detachment to this place and it wasn't Settling for me to Feel that way about it.  I had to get the place in Order too and have more Organization so that I wasn't so overwhelmed by any Chaos languishing about in various Rooms, where it had sat seemingly indefinitely.   I couldn't recall if we'd been here four years or five yet... isn't that funny since I could tell you exact dates of moving into our Old Homestead and exactly how long it had been Home!

The Grandkids felt the same, finally we established that we'd moved here in the Summer of 2015, so this will be our 4th set of Holidays here this Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years!   Sometimes it seems so much longer, sometimes it seems Time is dragging because we aren't in the City anymore where everything happens so Time warped by and there was so much to always do!   I do find that being Rural it has a way of bending Time so that each day kinda blends into another and I just lose track of Time and it almost gives it the illusion of stopping and standing still!   I'm just still not used to that!

The Man actually prefers that leisurely pace to his days, where you hardly even know which day it is or what time it is and everything is quiet and serene almost all of the time in the environment.   The Man is not ADHD like the rest of us, where being Still and standing Still is almost torturous... and Boredom is like being in Pergatory... so restlessness is therefore your constant state of Being when there is little, to no, stimulation or activity!   When any of the three of us starts pacing around like Caged Animals he suggests we head into the City for a Respite and he just enjoy his solitude!  *LOL*

Sometimes it is Nice to come Home to... when I Need a Nap... because I can fall asleep around here standing up, Honestly, some days I can hardly even stay awake!   So for those with Racing Minds, having your Mind stand Still is something that we're so NOT used to that it puts us to Sleep immediately, it's like being unplugged or drugged!  *LMAO*   I'm not kidding, it's barely 6:00 p.m. and my Eyelids are already droopy and I'm fighting Sleep which is Crazy!  I was wide Awake when we were in the City earlier Today, as soon as we got Home I could have immediately gone to Sleep and have to fight not falling Asleep no matter what time of the day it is! 

Now, if you totally dig Sleeping your days away I guess that would be Bliss... but I find if I Sleep too much absolutely nothing ever gets done!   Yeah, my Bed feels Sublime once I lay down, but before I know it I've slept five hours in the middle of the freakin' day and gotten up just in time to go back to Bed for the Evening!   Luckily The Man and The Kiddos now can all fix their own Meals because I sometimes have slept right thru every Mealtime and didn't know if anyone ate or not?!   With The Man and The Young Prince being Grown Men they don't Care... and with Princess T soon becoming a Teen she keeps Weirdo eating habits anyway, so it hardly matters.

But my Maternal Instincts and the Caregiver in me feels that twang of Guilt all the same even if they act nonchalant about it... because I'm chalant as fuck about forgetting to feed my Family!  *Gasp!*   The other day when I apologized to The Force for Sleeping thru yet another Mealtime they reminded me it was Okay, they're not Five anymore!  *Whew!*   Besides, they joked, now you only have to Cook one Meal instead of two different ones at the same time, since you only have to prepare your fake Vegan Meats now!  *LOL*   It's true, they won't eat my restricted diet so they are considerate about preparing their own Real Meats, even tho' I'm not really missing any of it or feeling deprived on my Nutritarian eating Plan.

And Tonight we are Childless since The Young Prince has gone for a Job Interview for Seasonal Work at "Fear Farm" Halloween Haunted Attraction... and Princess T is at a Birthday Party and then going to a Movie for some Boy she is Friends with.   And I smell that The Man has already prepared his own Dinner... so now all I have to do is fix some Vegan Cuisine for myself and feel quite accomplished that at least I got this Blog Post with it's random acts of Beauty completed before I fall Asleep way too early!  But then, The Son is out of the Hospital now and The Young Prince is on the mend too, so NOW I actually CAN catch up and get some Sleep... so... it's all Good my Friends!!!  *Smiles*

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Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

I'm Baaack... I'm Baaack In The Saddle Again...

Okay... so the Post Hook Title was done in my best Steven Tyler Aerosmith Impersonation... I hope you 'got' that?  *Winks*  It's been a Crazy few days in Mi Vida Loca as was evidenced by my total lack of Storyline or Words to previous Posts and just regaling you with the pretty pictures and brief narratives instead.   I've had two Emergency Room visits with Loved Ones in the past four days.  The Son is now Hospitalized with serious health issues as they immediately admitted him during his ER visit, so I didn't get out of there until after Midnight and the long commute Home took another hour and a half from the far East Side.   And The Young Prince will be fine, but that was one we didn't get out of the ER until after 5 a.m., sleep is so overrated anyway, right!?  *LOL*  Here is a recent pix of The Young Prince voguing for the Camera with his new Glasses, which he almost lost 2 weeks after I bought them... but Thankfully recovered the other day from where he'd forgotten them at, since a Friend found them for him!  *Whew!*  That Kid may be a Genius but I swear he'd lose his Head if it wasn't attached to his Shoulders!  Right now he's in his Steampunk Phase, which is kinda Cool and so yeah, I did buy him that snazzy Steampunk ensemble which he looks mighty Handsome in... he can pull off the Eccentric Styles just fine since he wears them with Confidence.

I was pleasantly Surprised that The Young Prince's Medical Insurance and Pharmacy Prescription Coverage didn't get dropped when he turned 18, Whew, Thank You Jesus... holding my breath for that one during the ER Visit and subsequent spendy Tests and trip to the Pharmacy for what the ER Doc had prescribed.  It's not like I had the Cash on hand should they have said... Ma'am, we're sorry, this Card is now invalid... so color me Happy, eternally Grateful and relieved as Hell!  He did now have to sign off on everything himself just like a Man... and approve all his own treatments and med regimen.  When you have the SMI Adult that is always some scary shit, they are inclined sometimes to refuse or decline everything in the way of Treatment and Meds, just because legally now they just can and sound judgment is not always something the Seriously Mentally Ill have as a particular strength at times.  But since he'd rolled me out of bed at 3 a.m. with his Medical Emergency and I told him to just sign every paper they shoved in front of his face, he obliged... knowing I'd have perhaps one hour of sleep between that ER visit and his Sister's scheduled Doc Appointment!  Which ended by the way barely in time for me to dump her off at Home and get to Work my shift that Night!

So, what else has been going on... or going sideways... you might ask?  Well, I got the first of the Neg E-Mails from Princess T's Teachers this Year, knew that was coming, it's a Given.  She still can't read, it's the 7th Grade now... and she doesn't Qualify for some Special Ed Services since she's too High Functional... but that doesn't mean the Mainstream Classes are necessarily gonna work out Swell for her tho', just sayin'!   So now they don't have Real Books, they are in some Museum called the Library nowadays I guess and so now you have to enter some Online Portal to Read... which my Old Computer won't load... and I'm unable to get into the Parent Portal... so... we'll be requesting an Old Fashioned face to face Consultation with said Reading Teacher.  She's so far behind now she'll never catch up and the After School Classes she dreads for Tutoring, since she's already exhausted after a full day of School, aren't really Helpful enough.  And she's turning 13 this Month so the Teen Angst and being misunderstood are at their heightened State, so that, along with Learning Disabilities, makes School this Year kinda a version of Pergatory and Hell for us both!  She's also wearing lots of baggy clothing as her body matures and she's self conscious about it, she's not yet ready for all the attention turning into a Young Woman is foisting upon her.  So as The Young Prince astutely observed, my Little Sister is dressing like she's a Heroin Addict even tho' it's still 108 degrees outside, she's in a long sleeve baggy Hoodie! *LMAO*  She said she wanted either Bunnies or a Hamster for her 13th Birthday, this was as far as I was willing to go, fake Bunny Keychains!   Hey, it's real freakin' Rabbit fur she can stroke and pet, and I'm already Dealing with a high maintenance fussy temperamental Chameleon that drowns her Live Food when she's bored with it, so don't judge!  *Smiles*

I will REALLY be looking forward to the respite of attending the 'Wicked Faire' Halloween Themed Event at The Sweet this Month because frankly, September didn't actually go as Planned already.   Like any Month actually does, right?  Who am I kidding, nothing has gone as Planned for a very long time, so one would think I'd be used to that Subject To Change Without Notice Lifestyle we seem to be living in Real Time constantly.   And since Princess T has requested that for her 13th Birthday ALL she wants is to Hang Out with me at The Mall and spend my Money, well, Pray for me!  *LMAO*   I asked her if she wanted to bring a BFF along on the Great 13th Birthday Mall Adventure and she said, are you kidding me, then you'd have to spend Money on HER... nuff said, that's my Wednesday Addams Grandchild!   She'll claim I'm not getting to Hang Out with her enough... and then when we go somewhere for allegedly Quality Girl Time Together Hanging Out she'll have the countenance of someone being Tortured!  She'll roll her Eyes at everything I say, sigh heavily and often, look Morose and Bored out of her Mind... yet, we're Hanging Out and allegedly she Wants and Needs that from me... I think her actual intent is to Torture someone and I'm the nearest and most Willing Victim?  *LMAO*

This is DEFINITELY her when she asks me to Hang Out with her more and then her Countenance when we do!  *Bwahahahahaha!!!*

This is DEFINITELY her when it's 108 degrees outside and we're getting ready to go out and she comes down dressed all in Black, which I know will be hot as Hell and draw the heat... with long sleeves and is a totally weather inappropriate ensemble!

This is DEFINITELY The Face we get every Morning...

And THIS is why she got her Nickname Princess T... natch... I know you could clearly SEE the uncanny resemblance of my Princess T to Wednesday Addams... they could in fact, be the same Child!

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Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Son Of A Junker

I had promised you all some Lovely Imagery of my Friend Pauline's Fabulous Shop SON OF A JUNKER... and then Life happened and got so crazy that I spaced out on it and forgot what folder I'd downloaded the Images to... so... here we are now my Friends... Enjoy!   Sorry for the delay!

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Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian