An Epic Shitstorm Of Shit

 I Bottomed Out Today for reasons I won't get into or Blog about.  The Issues of Life sometimes just pile up like that and not all of it can be talked about or you even want to or should.  Life sure can be a struggle and turn on Dimes from day to day tho', let me just say.  So, I'm trying to climb out of that Funk, it's 3:00 in the Afternoon and it's been a real struggle and uphill battle to tho'.  I did do some Environmental Cleanup for a few Hours just to be out in Nature, which is always restorative to me, and it does help to put things in perspective.  It's not all good, but it's not all bad either... just some of each.  The Man's condition is so volatile and fragile that it just has me on heightened alert for him staying Stable Medically.

The weightier Issues of Life are so heavy sometimes.  And right now my House is messy too and I'm the Offender.  I've been distracted with Caregiving and Medical Issues.  And on the Phone to Insurances too, that's still messy as well.   First, HUMANA, our Medicare Advantage Plan, decided, once again, to initially say they Deny the Hospitalization coverage for the last Hospitalization that The Man had!!!  When he was Internally Bleeding and the VA transferred him to a Civilian Hospital while giving him a Transfusion.  Preparing him for that Internal Procedure to try to locate what was hemorrhaging!  WTF, their Doc claims our Docs could have done that without Inpatient Services!!!  Really!?!  We had 4 VA Specialists and 3 Civilian Specialists say otherwise!   You're Dealing with so many different Medical Opinions it drives me Crazy sometimes and doesn't always have consistency!

I'm Appealing that ridiculous decision on Monday for them to reconsider and I'm sure his Docs will again too Fight it, if they wanna get Paid.  They got the last Denial overturned as well, I think HUMANA has some Insurance Adjuster making these ridiculous unqualified contested decisions and not any Doctor at all.  If it is a Doc they must be a Quack like JFK, Jr. is and have Far Side Opinions about Medicine in general and Specialized Medicine in particular!!!  Then, I realized we'd run out of Needles to administer our Insulin Injections for both our Lantus and Ozempic, we're both Insulin Dependent daily Diabetics so you go thru a lot of Needles.  We thought we had another full Box of 100, we didn't!  Ooops!

He called his in to the VA, where he gets his for Free, no problems there, they'll sent some right out.  I called mine in to TriCare's Express Scripts and had to School Two different Phone Reps, including a Supervisor, that No, I do NOT have a Primary Insurer Part D Coverage on Medicare that pays for my Rx, I'm not eligible since I had TriCare For Life!  One would think they'd know that and I'd already been thru this since January about my Oral Meds and my Diabetic Injectable Meds, getting that sorted out after 3 Months of Dealing with HUMANA, Medicare, TriCare, Social Security and Express Scripts!!!  You're in a Fight on all Fronts about who will pay for what anymore!!!  Now they were fussing about who should pay for my Needles!  Oy Vey, pray tell how I'm to inject my Lantus and Ozempic without fucking Needles then?!

They SEE they're covering all my Oral and Injectables, but for some reason it still eluded them that they should re-activate my Rx for Needles as well, since, they suspended it in January and now I've blown thru my Three Boxes worth and need a Refill, that's all!!!   I explained their Job to them, like you seem to have to do these days, coz one would think, since they work for TriCare that they fully know you can't have them AND Medicare Part D, ineligible to receive Part D if you're a Retired Federal Worker coz it would be Two Federal Insurance Funded Coverages!!!  Which, would be Illegal.  But, back in January when United Healthcare dumped all Veterans/Spouses of Veterans on Medicare in Maricopa County, we had to switch Medicare Providers and everything got cocked up beginning in January then!

HUMANA put me on the Wrong Plan and put The Man on the Right Plan when we switched.  That really then confused the Federal Government Side over at TriCare/Express Scripts.  HUMANA finally acknowledged their error, apologized, put me on the Right Plan even tho' Open Enrollment had ended, coz it was their Administrative Error and not my fault or error.  Social Security got involved Penalizing me FOR A LIFETIME for Enrollment Issues, even tho' it wasn't my Fault, so it took Months then to get Social Security to connect with Medicare and TriCare to sort that Error out and now they're slowly Refunding me all the Penalties they took out of my Social Security Checks!!!  It's a big Cluster Fuck is what it is! 

And this isn't even all that I'm Bottoming Out about... so, you can only Imagine what Frosted me this time and sent me Down into the Depths of Bipolar Hell again!!!   Anyway, FINALLY explained it enuf that Express Scripts is expediting my Needles to me, coz I had ONE left for Tomorrow's Lantus Injection.  The VA is very quick, so The Man will probably get his first and we shouldn't miss any Injections.  But just keeping on top of everything is getting hard coz there's an Avalanche of stuff involving Medical, Medications, Hospitalization, OT, PT, Cardiac Rehab, Dental Appointments, Home Nurse Visits, Mental Health Care and Caregiving escalated Needs.  So, I am quite overwhelmed with THAT without more epic Shit happening... and of coarse it did anyway!!!  An unexpected Shitstorm of epic Shit!  *Le Sigh*

The Kiddos have been cleaning up the Property of all the random stuff we just need Bulk Garbage to pick up, and doing my Yardwork.  They found a Nest out near the felled Old Pine Stump of Outdoor Turkistan Red Roaches, slews of them!  So the Kids have been killing them, if they get Indoors they usually Die right away, but it's still bad to have an exterior infestation, but they do like Bark and Old Wood.  So we disrupted that Nesting spot and there was a Snake there too, gorging itself on Roaches, it had set up it's own Buffet being there by their Nest.  It wasn't a poisonous Snake, so the Kids didn't kill it, they just ran it off.  We live in Mini Farms so Garden Snakes do hang out around Farms.  Lately the area has had Roof Rats so I set up some No Kill Traps in case they come onto our Property.  I don't like to put Rat Poison down coz it can Kill other Wildlife... and I don't like to Poison anything anyway.

I should be tidying my House one Room at a time but I just don't have it in me to begin until I'm in a better Head Space.  Or I'd be doing it quite Emotionally Raw and making Bad Decisions or becoming Mentally more Fragile.  It's not that it would probably take all that long, it's clutter on the Floor of the Sitting Room and Dining Room that should not be there and needs to be put in either The She Shed, to be Priced and Sold, or The RV Garage Mahal, to be Kept.   I had been Pricing Inventory but then I ran out of Room at the Antique Mall and so now shit is still sitting around where it shouldn't be and needs Placement to where it just SHOULD BE.   Plus there was some Newly bought stuff I just didn't put away at all yet and Need to.  And I'm Bone Tired and Unmotivated to DO a damned thing, which, I can't seem to Shake.

I got a lot done for a few days and then the Shitstorm of Epic Shit Bottomed me Out again, so, now here we are... once again! *Le Sigh and Sob*  Tomorrow The Daughter has a Cleaning Job in Chandler, but she's not Home at all Today and her New Phone isn't Working AGAIN, which, who knows Why this time?  She's been, as have we all, kind of a Head Case lately, the stressors and strain is getting to everyone, each in their own ways.  She's at least had some Paying side gigs lately and preoccupied herself with Work.  Sometimes the Adult Kiddos and their Issues are hard for me to juggle along with The Man's considerable Issues, which keep worsening.  So, I don't always pay as much attention to when the others here may be faltering and struggling.  Well, Shit, I KNOW they all are!

Anyway, other than all that everything is Swell.  *Bwahahahahaha*  I turned on The News briefly and turned it right back off, it's ALL BAD and worsening, so. I. just. can't. right. now!!!   Those that ain't Woke in America have been so Sound Asleep that they're not even realizing they're being Robbed/Grifted/Grafted Blind!!!  We're talking Billions on several fronts Robbed shamelessly!  The cost of the Reflection Pool Grift has gone up in Price now SEVEN TIMES in just a Day, by MILLIONS OF DOLLARS... Splendid!  The Waste, Fraud, Corruption and Neglect they claimed Social Services and Programs, or Veteran's Earned Benefits, was Costing us and DOGE was Investigating and slashing of those much Needed Services was just a Scam and Distraction, clearly, for what they had in Mind for $$$ of REAL Waste, Fraud, Corruption and Neglect.

 Above, me, as a Teenager, probably around Age 16-17, you know, when you're still full of Hope and Dreams...  *LOL and Winks*   The Ballroom, well that keeps going up and now isn't being Funded Privately by Donors either, we're Paying for it now, in Spades, coz the Price keeps skyrocketing every time we hear about it!  Donnie initially told us the Reflection Pool Cost was $1.8 MILLION, it's up over $18 MILLION now.  The Ballroom was allegedly gonna Cost Taxpayers Nothing... now it's up to $400 MILLION and rising, he's floating it might cost A BILLION now, on the Taxpayer's Dime, of coarse!  And, he's Suing for over a Billion so he can hand that out as Restitution and Compensation to January 6th Insurrectionist Rioters and his other Cronies for what allegedly was DONE TO THEM!  Not to any of the over 100 State Capitol Police harmed and maimed for Protecting the Capitol from an attempted Coup he instigated to try to  hold on to Power and Overturn an Election!  You can't make this shit up!   And Whose stopping him?  I'll wait...

On a Positive Note the exterior of the Property is looking great coz all the Kiddos got together and did a lot of Work on it.  They'd all been Head Cases too the other day, but climbed out of the Deep Funk we were all mired in lately.  I hadn't cluttered up the Exterior, so at least I wasn't the Offender of that.  Yard Work is a constant tho' and an Acre is a lot of Maintenance to keep on top of so The Son is keeping that up for me and didn't like all the random stuff Mando and his Sister had brought that really we weren't gonna use, repair things with, or Sell.  So, it might as well go away.  LATER: I tackled the Sitting Room and it wasn't so bad, got 2/3 of it done in no time, my Executive Function when something just Visually looks like a lot tends to Freeze Up and shut me down sometimes now.  Once I start it's not nearly as overwhelming as I magnified it in my Head and was no Big Deal really.  The Grandson came and gave me some Emotional Support and helped some, I delegated what he could help with.

I realized most of what was on the Floor in that Room had actually been from the Top of the Old Fridge and we just hadn't put it back up there.  So, he's Tall and didn't even need to get on a Step Stool Of Death to do it for me.  *Smiles*  I also had new Books to just Log In to my Record Keeping of the Books I have in my Library, and put them then in the Library of The RV Garage Mahal instead.  Easy peasy and actually very Zen to Log the New Books into the Record Journal of all the Books I have.  I only ended up with One duplicate of a very good Cook Book I can easily Re-Sell.  Once your Library is so vast you can sometimes end up with Duplicates coz you don't always recall which Books you already have that are the Good Ones you'll Score at a Chazza but On The Cheap.  You can't risk Passing and then realize, shit, didn't have that one!  Or you'd have Non-Buyer's Remorse.

Most Chazza Books I'm getting from between $2-$4 each and Retail they go for over $20 to sometimes around $35 at Bookstores.  A place called "Bargain Books" often Donates Books to the SAVERS that my Granddaughter Works at.  I think they're an Online Bargain Bookseller and even their Prices, which are often still on the Books, is very inexpensive compared to the Retail Book's Price.  But, SAVERS then offers it For Sale below even that Discount Price.  And at SAVERS, if you Buy 4 Books you get a 5th One for Free.  And, I always go on Sale Days and Discount Days, plus I build up Store Discount Credits and Coupons when I Donate stuff there, so I never pay the actual Price on anything.  It's always at least another 20%-30% off my whole Purchase.

Those Two Bagged Lots of Pokemon Cards I recently Scored there for $6 a Bag, I had over 130 Cards and several were worth $18-$20-$30 of the better ones.  Princess T did snag most of those for her Collection, she began Collecting them again, natch, now that they've made a huge comeback and could net her some bigger Cash on Resale of them.  We'll make great Margins and her Brother went thru them all for me to separate the Cheap ones from those I can Sell for much more.  Even at a Buck apiece for most, I'm gonna make considerable Margins of Profit and they're an easy Sell and Quick Turn these days.  I also Scored a Metal Pokemon Lunchbox that I think I can get $35 for, I paid $2.

Gypsy James finally got back to me about the Bunny for my Grandson, he said I can pick it up Tomorrow or Monday, he had Plans Today.  The Daughter Works Tomorrow but we'll bring a Cat Carrier and just pick it up on our way Home from her Chandler Job and she can help me pick which Bunny her Son might like best?   I've had the Bunny Food for a long time already and thought perhaps Gypsy James had changed his Mind about giving us one if he had Buyers, coz he knows I ain't paying him nothing for a Rabbit *LOL*, Gypsy to Gypsy, he knows I wanted the Hookup.  *Bwahahahahaha*  But I think they'd been over at his Daughter's House coz she is the one who had the Female Bunny.  James had the Male Bunny at his Property. 

 He has Chickens and grows most of his own Food there in South Phoenix too, deep in Da Hood, in a Historic, but rundown Neighborhood.  It's not Zoned for all that, but, nobody is bothered... folks around there are doing MUCH MORE illegal shit than having Chickens and Rabbits, so they ain't saying nothin' to him about his Livestock.  *LOL and Winks*  There's a great Chinese Restaurant that's been there since the early 1940's in a Historic Adobe Building, near his Home, and I like to go there, but they're Closed on Sundays, dammit, or I'd stop in for a Meal.  You will never go away hungry, they give you so much food cheaply and it's delicious.  The Corner Store, Austin's Cash Market, near him is in an early 1930's Adobe Building in the Historic Cuatro Milpas Barrio too that still has exposed Vigas in the Roof and a gorgeous Aztec Mural Painted all over the Exterior.  We know all the Shop Owners and many Locals around the Barrio coz The Son lived in that Neighborhood for Years too.

They have the Best Pickles!!!  The Son went to this Store almost every Day the Years he lived in that Barrio coz it was Walking Distance from where he and Gypsy James and Indian Carlos Lived.  They were Roommates for many Years and have been Lifelong Friends since Childhood.  So, most of the Friends my Kiddos have are like extended Family to us and I've known them almost all of their Lives.  I'd prefer to go visit Gypsy James and get the Bunny earlier than later, coz that Barrio gets pretty rough after Dark.  Never had any problems, since we know so many people in Da Hood there, but, some Rando might be roaming around looking for what they consider Easy Marks in the Rougher Neighborhoods and I don't wanna keep my Head on the Swivel getting to or from his House with our Bunny.  I'll have The Daughter with me if it's Sunday Night we go, and Gypsy James of coarse, so... I'd pity the Fool  *LMAO*... but, still, I don't Tempt Fate and attempt to avoid all Drama and Headaches and just be Street Smart.

But, now I am Craving WONG'S now and a Pickle from the Corner Market, so I'd rather go on Monday if I'm free that day, gotta look at our Crazy Calendar Schedule first tho'.   And when I did... well, all of next Week is packed with Appointments and Commitments, dammit!  It's getting exhaustive to have a Day to myself without something on the Calendar we must do, mostly for Medical Reasons and/or getting Family to and from Work.   Wouldn't ya know after such a long Unemployment stretch, the moment The Son got a Job, now other offers are coming in, but he doesn't wanna bounce so soon after being hired, even tho' the Work in The Trades pays way better, it's not as stable and he doesn't have his own Transportation to get there and Home either.  So, he declined for now and said he's made a commitment and found some Work that is working out better for now.

  

Above is a Trio of Photos of One of my Dad's Older Brothers as an Old Man and as a Young Man.  He Died in a tragic Car Accident on the Rez, so those were some of the last Photos taken of him.  Luckily his Grandchild that was in the Car with him Survived the Accident, but such a Trauma that her Beloved Grandpa was Killed in it by a Drunk Driver who T-Boned them.  My Paternal Grandparents, my Dad nor any of his Siblings ever drank the Fire Water, they knew what a Scourge is it for Indigenous People the World over.  But, sadly a lot of my Cousins of my Generation and subsequent Generations have been raging Alcoholics coz they did risk Drinking and went down that Road to Alcoholism and Substance Addiction.  Including The Son and The Daughter.  I can't Drink, I get Crazy Indian Drunk if I do, even on a couple Drinks my tolerance is horrible for Alcohol, and I would Fight anyone for no fucking reason, so I Wisely abstain.  *LOL*

 

My Appetite has been Shit Today coz of my Emotionally Raw Head Space I'm in.  I have some great Leftovers from "Cracker Barrel" when we got that Campfire Meal, so I will force myself to eat it.  I know it's delicious, I just don't ever Feel Hunger when I'm Emotionally or Mentally not in a Good Head Space.  I could go Days without Eating if I linger in that Frame of Mind and that wouldn't be Good.  Unlike most folks who tend to Binge Eat when Upset or Emotional, I just shut down and don't Eat, Sleep too much, Feel very Numb and Flatlined in an Unemotional appearing State of Being.  I am Feeling Not Right, but I can't say I'm Feeling actually anything either, just Raw and I'll go thru the Motions to do what's absolutely necessary, mostly by rote.  I try not to stay in that Condition too long, it can be hard to Climb out of tho'.  Blogging is Helpful, otherwise I'm just crawl right back into Bed and try to continue Sleeping it Off.  Then I can't Take Care of anyone tho' either, so I have to push forward.  It takes a lot of your Energy.

   

And addressing Issues that tend to Trigger an Episode of a Bipolar Low can be tricky as Hell.   So, I try to wait awhile before I would attempt to.  Otherwise I Risk not Handling it Well or Wisely, let us just say.  It's not that Dark Dawn can't Handle whatever Shit I'm confronted with, but I probably shouldn't let that be my dominant Self to.  *Winks*  I do miss having each of my Parents to consult about Wisdom of The Elders.  Yeah, I know I'm an Elder now myself, but you who also are, know what I mean.  The Generations and Ancestors that came before us had a different kind of Wisdom that I found to be most Helpful and came from a different Era and different place, but, was Sage Wisdom that was Timeless too.   My Dad was the Parent I usually consulted most often.  Mom Outlived him by a Decade, so she became the one to consult then for her last Decade of Life until she was compromised considerably by the Dementia.  I try to Imagine what they would Advise now?

 

Some Close-Ups of my Mom when she was in her Eighties, that my Brother took of her at the Hospice, as she fiercely battled the end stages of Dementia.   She had made Friends there so she was Happy enuf and that's all that mattered, since, she'd forgotten much about her Memories of anyone by then, as they just faded and then dropped away in layers.  My Brother and his Lady had to eventually take over for me as Caregiver and making Decisions about Long Term Care, coz they had more influential Contacts to pull Favors in from Celebrities in Cali, so, we moved her there.  I had her here in a very nice Facility here but it was not affordable at all and Medicare would only cover 21 Days at a time... so... it wasn't gonna work on for Long Term Care and she couldn't come Home and be met at her Point of Need anymore.  

 Dad had Served 27 Years in the Military and Retired, but it did her no good after she outlived him by a Decade.   Even with The Man's 39 Years of Military Service, Retirement and being 100% Disabled, it won't do me any good either if he precedes me into the Afterlife.  People don't realize how forsaken a lot of our Military Families are by our Government if something happens to the Veteran.  It's why you see them Sponsored like 3rd World Children by Charitable Civilian Organizations and Donors rather than by our Government taking Care of their Needs or ensuring they receive all of their Earned Benefits.   Like Social Security, it's Earned, it's not a Handout, it is EARNED Benefits.   And I get angry that our Veterans Honored their Contractual Agreement to Country, but our Country isn't necessarily Honoring their Contractual Agreement to our Veterans and their Families, eroding and eliminating or cutting Earned Benefits all of the time.  There's no Do-Over!!!

*******

I'd say Hanging in there, but, mostly, I'm just Hanging, I don't know if it's in there or not?  Smiles... Dawn... The Bohemian

A Post's Topics From Highland Cattle To Retail Therapy

Blog Readership is way up, but not unnaturally so, I'm guessing Post Content is just a draw then?  Who knows?  I'm getting so much done each Morning with Waking at 4:00 a.m. to get The Son to Work by 5:00 a.m., get The Man Medicated and Fed his Breakfast, hit The Gym for my Workout and Steam Sauna/Shower/Hydrotherapy, get Home in time to get The Granddaughter to Work by 7:00 a.m. {6:00 a.m. on Tuesdays}, go do Environmental Cleanup for a couple Hours, get some Essentials Shopping done, Chores done at Home with the Gardening, Feeding the Wild Birds, Feeding-Grooming Eli and cleaning his Litterbox, mebbe throw in some Laundry, and get ready for The Man's PT or OT Home Help or VA Nurse to show up.  And, it's only about 9:30-10:00 a.m. still!!!  I still now have the whole Day!!!

Tho' I can be quite spontaneous, I am a Creature of Habit and like a Routine I get consistent with, so that I do get stuff done.  In the Evenings while having Music or the TV on I Price some Inventory and wait 'til I have enuf Space in the Showroom and Locked Case at the Antique Mall to put Fresh Merch in.  Sales for the Mother's Day Sale Weekend were stagnant, I did better after the Sale actually.  And I've Donated a lot to just get it gone and ramp up The Great Edit & Purge some.  We didn't get as much Done during Fall and Winter as we anticipated we would due to personal issues compounding and also the Weather was not Cooling off to as it should have either.  So, The RV Garage Mahal and She Shed, which aren't Climate Controlled, were difficult to Work in for long when it's too Hot.  Plus, The Daughter stalled out, as did The Young Prince, in Helping me.

Both of them were so Gung Ho that I really didn't think they'd Fade at the Gate like they both did.  But, each was Dealing with their own Issues Of Life so it's understandable.  And The Daughter was working all kinds of Paying Gigs, which should be a Priority, so she has some income generated.  She still hasn't even girded herself as much as her Son has to approach DES or Social Security about Disability Services and Benefits.  She remembers how it was in her 20's when she Qualified for it all and she doesn't wanna go thru all that again.  It is a major Ordeal even if you would Qualify, which, I'm sure she would once they realize she did before and she's no better, just Older now.   So, she's slowed down in requiring Institutionalization as regularly at least, or it's all on The State's Dime whether they Like it or not.  *LOL*  I've never made as much Money during my Corporate Lives Annually at the Top of my Game as Institutionalization would Cost The State Annually for me or each one of my Loved Ones.

I remind The State of that when going to DES or Social Security, that it's pay some now or pay way more Later when they or I go Wheels Off the Rails and require Institutionalization that then the State MUST pay for.  I think it costs about Three Hundred Grand each Person Institutionalized Annually if that happens, whether it's a Penal Institutionalization or a Mental Institution.   Mental Institution Costs per Day for each Resident is about $800-$900 PER DAY and about $300,000 Annually per Resident requiring Extreme Caregiving, which they would each require.  So, I'm a fucking Bargain doing Caregiving Unpaid for so many.  So fucking Approve them at least for SSI and some Nutritional Assistance and Medicaid.  It's only $994 A MONTH for SSI Benefits per Person, The State would Pay that Out in a fucking DAY if I say I won't take them in and they must Institutionalize them instead... and that's EACH per Day. So do the Math and Prospectus...$1,970 PER MONTH SSI for BOTH opposed to and Versus $1,800 PER DAY in an Institution.

I don't allow getting jerked around by The System anymore, I hold their Feet to the Fire and bury them in Appeals or say I'm just not doing this anymore if you try to dump it all on me.  Now it's ALL ON YOU, Fuckers... and they typically get a Fresh Revelation coz I always have the Loved One(s) in tow so they know exactly what they'll be Dealing with.  *Winks and Laughs Maniacally*  They really don't want me just dropping them off at an Institution and saying Good Luck with that and I Hope it all Works out for you Guys... coz it fucking won't, Trust and Believe.  I know from Experience they usually end up Begging me to come get them and they'll provide Home Resources instead, whatever it Costs.  If they just did that First without a hassle and Hoop Jumping, we'd all be better off, now, wouldn't we?  *Eye Roll*  Plus, do they really wanna risk ME getting Caregiver Burnout again?  Coz I could use the unusual Vacay it would provide.

Last time I had to end up in Psyche Lockdown for Caregiver Burnout, it should have been $1,800, at my expense, for Three Days of Involuntary Commitment.  Instead I was there a Week, said I didn't give a Fuck if they ever got Paid, wanted to Walk Out but they were under Police Orders not to let me {Bwahahahaha}, and I told them I'd give them $30, but ONLY IF they set up a SIX MONTH Payment Program to Pay the Thirty Bucks!!!  *LMAOROTF coz they Agreed*   Hey, if you're gonna say Crazy Shit to a Crazy Person arriving in Restraints or a Straight Jacket, I Ante Up the level of Crazy we're gonna Play then and Dark Dawn will have a Field Day with them and The System.  Once you give me Nothing to Lose, and start talking Nonsense, well, now you're definitely Screwed.  Coz if I'm gonna be Screwed, everyone is gonna be Screwed and I Plan to be very Expensive and Super High Maintenance then on Purpose.  I'm that kind of Crazy Ass Resident.  Coz Crazy don't mean Stupid.  If we're gonna Play... well, I'll have Amusement and Fun for myself out of it.  So Let The Games begin!!! *Winks*

We're waiting now on The Man's OT, White John, which is the Nickname I've now give him coz we have Filipino John who is a PT that comes too.  And we don't wanna get The Johns mixed up.  *Bwahahahaha*  Of coarse when here we just call each of them just John.  *LOL*  OT White John just left, he added some newer Exercises for Upper Body Strength and The Man did so well that John gave him one of the Exercise Bands to Keep so he can use it while watching TV and doing the Simple Exercises with it to build up Strength in Arms and Legs.  I guess White John used to be a Social Worker and a Medical Assistant, but he Likes Home Health best and said this he'll do now all his Career. 

 He saw how many Young Adults are in our Home since everyone was coasting thru for their later Breakfast, with the few Extras we always have Visiting.  I'd already fed The Man and The Granddaughter and I Breakfast at 6:00 a.m. I told him, we do all of this in Shifts since we have Three Generations here and Schedules are all over the place.  He asked how much in the way of Services I'm getting for them, and I told him, so far, really NONE, coz Social Security and DES are such an Ordeal to get anything Reviewed, let alone Approved.  We have some Social Workers for The Young Prince only.  I told him at least the VA has been good about Approving stuff in the way of Services and Medical Equipment, Meds, that The Man Needs, at no Cost to us.  Or, it simply wouldn't be Affordable and he'd do without.  Coz Civilian Funded Services like Wounded Warriors Project is only for Disabled Veterans and their Families who were AFTER 9-11's Twin Towers Attack.  The Younger Veterans and their Families/Caregivers.

Anyway, I was Feeding the 5,000 with a Basket of Bread and Five Fishes, you know, like Jesus... for Breakfast, only it was Homemade Breakfast Burritos and Homemade Refried Beans.  *Bwahahahaha*  And I guess it really Impressed White John that I got a Production Line going at Mealtime for so many with Special Needs, and everything was Orderly and Assigned and Delegated to do amongst them all.  I told him having Routines, Delegation and Order is Crucial if you're Full Time Unpaid Caregiving, without Staff, for several Loved Ones... or everything would be total Chaos and Bedlam all of the time otherwise and go to shit quickly.

And speaking of things going to shit quickly, now about that Trip to China where Donnie Two Dolls was groveling and nauseatingly flattering to their Leaders and gushing when he got back about how Hot Xi Looks, how Tall {Ethnic Slur really coz Chinese aren't all Stereotypically Short}, and like he's from Central Casting for Hollywood, how Smart and Strong he is, how Respected... Gak, Gak and more Bromance with a Dictator Gakking, I almost threw up in my Mouth to hear the Sean Hannity Interview on Faux!!!  Donnie reversed on anything and everything he'd ever said about China that made him even have the Illusion of Strength and Resolve.  Even about China Buying up so much of America, especially Farmland!  And how many Chinese National Students get VISA's to come here, half a Million plus. 

So his MAGAt Base should be Spinning, Spitting and Shitting Kittens about how he has not only betrayed them, but has also come off during this abysmal Summit which was making the U.S. look weak, flaccid and with no Substance, and didn't Deliver anything.  He got nothing, the Chinese killed him with their Silence, he made nothing but apologies... paraded a bunch of Billionaire Bros and probably Sold Out America some more like it's E-Bay he's Auctioning Off to the Highest Bidders.  LE SIGH.  I have no more Words... what is there to even fucking say?  The Stage Craft of the Summit was awful too.  It's like they've given up even Trying or Caring really, even about the Optics.   So, Moving On...

Princess T didn't get off Work early like she wanted to.  But The Son did, even tho' he Worked an Hour extra than expected, coz he is so efficient and effective that they asked him if he would, and he doesn't mind, he'll take all the Hours they'll give him to get closer to Full Time.  I wouldn't be at all Surprised, since they actually have him Showing Management some of how to improve things already, if he moved up quickly within the Ranks of that Company coz they see his potential is far beyond what they Hired him to do.  They have over 15,000 Stores Nationwide and are one of the stronger existing "Dollar Stores".  It is a Fortune 500 Company and has International Locations as well.  The Son so far really likes working for them, we shop there all the time and their Stores are always well stocked with what we use all the time, at great Discounted prices, and always very clean and organized.  With the demise of the 99 Cent Only Stores, which were my Fav Dollar Store, I now shop mostly at Dollar Tree or Dollar General Stores nearby.  

Since I got everything done before it hit 100 Degrees Today I have been able to hunker Inside.   I finished our Laundry, each Kid does their own.  When I get One full load is when I do ours so it's not really Time consuming.  We're getting better compliance from the Usual Suspects and biggest Offenders to not Hoard their dirty Towels, dirty Dishes {Bowls particularly}, and dirty Utensils.  The Two Schizophrenics with D.I.D. are the Guilty, and you have to make sure you approach each and every one of their multitudes of Personalities to ensure ALL of 'Them' get the Message and comply.  *LOL and Eye Roll*  We're talking of at least 11 Personalities wrapped up in just Two Human Forms, so it's a lot of Guessing which of 'Them' you're giving House Rules to and which is the Greater Offenders of the Legion Within?  With The Young Prince I sometimes just have to ask Who I'm Speaking with right now?  The Daughter's don't go by other 'Names' and none of her Four know one another, seemingly at all, or what each may be doing, or not doing.

  

With his Seven, he's got more Awareness of each and they do often seem to know one another and try to assert Dominance, which can be one big Wrestling Match going on all the time.  Whose Fronting and becomes Dominant then will be Who you are Dealing with, but it can switch around on any given Day and sometimes multiple times thruout the Day too.   And when you're Dealing with just shy of a Dozen Personalities at once, with just Two Family Members, it's just a lot to Manage and keep Straight.  I choose Battles Wisely.  The Son is the one who doesn't and it comes back often to bite him in the Ass when he foolishly gets too confrontational with the Un-Safest Personalities of his Sister and his Nephew.   He's Autistic and they're not exactly known for their diplomacy, Social skills or discernment, so, he never Learns.  And all the time I'm asking him then, what WERE you thinking?  Do you perhaps have a Death Wish, Son?

It's not that he doesn't have compassion and sympathies for other people's Disabilities, he just can't relate to theirs and is in his own Autism Bubble of how to Deal even with Healthy People effectively and Positively most of the time.  Unhealthy People, he gets easily and quickly frustrated with and can't understand how I must Deal with each Person's type of Disability differently.  So he gets some jealousy that is unfounded when I treat someone with Autism/Bipolar/ADHD differently than I'd treat someone with Schizophrenia/Dissociative Identity Disorder/Borderline Personality Disorder.   But you fucking just have to, it's not all Equal or Equitable to Deal the Same with ALL types of Mental Illness and Level of Disability.  Your Expectations have to be Realistic and Fair, depending on Abilities, Range of Illness, what they can or simply cannot be expected to do...or not do for that matter.

I've tried to explain it to him like this... my expectations based on Age are similar.  If I've got a Toddler my Expectations are different than with a 5th Grader, are different than with a Teenager, are different than with an Adult, and different than with a Senior in cognitive and physical decline too.  It's just that varied in what I expect based on what I've Evaluated is possible or fucking impossible with each Individual.  None of this is Curable so, what we've got to Deal with is permanent, sometimes even progressively worsening all of the time and over time.  I've learned just to adapt, improvise, and play it once Situation at a time as to what I have some measure of Control over and what I just don't have any Control over.  That's how I'm Survived Full Time Caregiving for this many Decades and why so many actually don't.  If you're not Adaptive, Innovative, and can assess those things you can change, cannot change and have Wisdom to know the difference... you're not gonna Make It.  You'll soon be Dead in the Water.

And I'm no longer this Fresh Faced Teenager full of Promise and unlimited Optimism either, so, with each Season I've accepted what comes with it and just Roll with it as best I can.   I can vaguely remember who this Person even WAS, and I'm comfortable enuf in my own Skin, heading to my 7th Decade of going around the Sun, that I don't Look Back and have a whole lotta regrets.  The Past is behind me, the here and now is what I've got, who fucking knows what the Future brings with it to any of us so I don't Sweat it anymore.  I used to make Long Range Plans all the time and set lotsa lofty Goals, most of which I actually did attain with relentless pursuit and tenacity.  I don't do that so much anymore, I take it One Day at a Time now, and that's enuf Trouble to Handle on any given Day to get thru.   And most of the time it's a Good Day, and when it isn't, I just try to Survive it, and Hope the next Day is gonna go better?

 

Princess T said some Naked Guy was in front of Work and that Strip Mall also had a Day Care Center near the SAVERS, so the Police were called and they picked him up.  He must have been On something to be buck Naked on a Sidewalk in front of a bunch of Stores!!!  Thankfully he didn't harm anyone and no Kids from the Day Care were exposed to him, whew!  Families shop and eat at all the Establishments in that Strip Mall too so no telling how many were exposed to him before the Police came and got him?   This is why I don't let her Walk Home or to Work, no way, too many Urban Weirdos and Street People at all Hours everywhere in the City these days.  She felt they may be trying to get rid of her at Work, coz tho' she came in not Feeling Well they told her if she left early or couldn't be up to Speed in Production, due to not being Well, she'd be Fired!!!  Just Wow, she is one of their best Workers and they've said that, so they're very inflexible at keeping their best people IMO.

I'm sure it's Corporate that makes the Policies, but, it's also why they don't retain their best Workers.  Corporations these days really could Care Less about their Employees and so they get Employees that end up not Caring Less about their Jobs.   Anyway, she doesn't Plan on making that a permanent Job so if they let her Go she'll find something else, she's only Earning Minimum Wage and it was supposed to be Full Time but they're no longer getting Full Hours either.  She's still on Medicaid, most folks Earning Minimum Wages can't afford Healthcare coz there is no Affordable Healthcare and they allow the Richest Corporations in America to get all these Tax Breaks and then screw over their Workers by not paying them a livable Wage or good Benefits and Coverage.  So, your average Amazon or Wal-Mart Employee is on Food Stamps and Medicaid at the Taxpayers Expense while their Employers get Billions in Tax Breaks you're ALSO Paying for!!!  But, don't get me Started...

 

I did find more Pokemon Cards and a Pokemon Lunchbox while there, and some of the Cards are worth $25-$30 when Pricess T looked the ones she wanted to Keep up.  She knows the more Valuable ones but wasn't sure what they go for, so looks them up.  Even if I hawk what I got Today in Two Bagged Lots for only a Buck apiece for the less Valuable ones, I'll still make $130 Profit off the low Investment.  The Lunchbox I can get around $15-$20 for, I Paid $2.  Easy Turns on Pokemon Merch at the Antique Mall, it makes up for most of the Sales at the Mall these days.  The Pokemon Vendors who Specialize in that Merch are Killin' it and making Thousands regularly.   I got a Beetlejuice Plushie that I'm Keeping, for only $7, and Online he's $30.  

 

I got a Vintage Back Scratcher shaped like a Bakelite Hand, with a Bakelite Shoehorn on the other end and Black Bamboo Stick between both, for $4, Online it's $65, I'm keeping that too, feels good to scratch your Back with and is attractive.  And I got a Viva La Betsey Johnson Necklace for $3 that's $225 Online, Keeping that too coz I Collect her Line!!!  {See Below}   The Feathers on mine are missing but I like it better without them actually.   And for only Three Bucks, I was Jazzed to Score it.  I know when I see anything Betsey Johnson coz I've Collected her Whimsical Products for Years and enjoy wearing it all or carrying her Bags, her Linens Line is good Quality and lasts and her Graphics and Funky Style are always a Favorite that resonates with my Aesthetic and Style preferences.  A little Retail Therapy made me very Happy this day with the unexpected Finds and Deals Scored.  I've Needed that, most of the Family have been Head Cases lately, really bad and too far Inside their own Heads.

So, anyway, Princess T felt like if she dares to get legitimately Sick again she'll get Fired, so that's Stressful.  She has Chronic Health Issues and they were Aware of that when they ASKED HER to come Work for them and Hired her!!!   So, she fully disclosed that tho' she Works with Excellence, and they've seen that already, she can't do anything about any Health Issues she's had since Birth, or any Special Needs she's had all her Life that have been Lifetime Disabling to her.   But, like her Uncle told her, no Employer Cares.  They definitely will exploit you being an Asset to them, but any Illness or Liability you pose by just being a Human Being and not a fucking Robot, they'll still discard you with zero compassion about whatever the Situation is.  

They Fired one of the Assistant Managers who everyone Liked and was an excellent Employee, Madison, becoz her Mom got Stage 4 Cancer and her Dad was in a near Fatal Car Accident and got Brain Damage, so she had to take off some Days during all that!!!  I remember Madison crying becoz she was Dealing with all of that and trying to be a Blessing to her Ailing Parents, she wasn't much Older than Princess T, so her Parents were both only in their 40's.  She'd been with the Company over Four Years and risen to Management Position with exemplary performance Reviews, and now she was Fired and gonna be Unemployed with no way to Support herself.  Not like she could rely on her Parents or put that Burden upon them!!!  They Needed her at that juncture!!!  

I don't even know what became of the Poor Girl, if her Mom is still Alive, or if her Dad rehabilitated from his Injuries enuf to live Independently either?  Her Parents couldn't take Care of themselves, let alone each other, in those Conditions either!  This is what Corporate America and Capitalism run amok has come to.   And we allow Billionaires to be Subsidized by the Average Hard Working American Taxpayers, while screwing over said Hard Working Americans... and most Billionaires aren't paying their Taxes and now get Pardoned for their Crimes by an equally Corrupted Administration and President!   The fact ANY Americans are Stomaching or Supporting this is Mind Blowing to me!!!

The Son has been Emotional all day, something about a long time Dead Friend who he swears he's having "Visitations" from, and perhaps he is.  But, he's thinking it's more a Mental Unraveling, coz he doesn't like to Believe in or even remotely Acknowledge the Premonitions and Visitations he's always had.  It's easier for him to think them to be Mental Health Breaks and Delusions or Hallucinations.  Ghosts and Spirit is more frightening to him than thinking he's just Psychotic, which, isn't pleasant either if he is, but, preferable to him than thinking he's seeing or hearing Dead People who won't leave him alone.   Which, they could be Hallucinatory Psychosis, but I personally doubt it. 

 He doesn't want this House to have Hauntings.  Our Historic Home had loads of them, it was over a Century Old and Spirit was prominent there.  Our whole Biological Family has Premonitions and Prophesy and it isn't pleasant to have at all.  We would all prefer NOT to have them actually.  My Mom would get Visitations from the Departed, some she knew, some she didn't, but once they knew she could See or Hear them, they won't leave you alone. Thankfully I don't get many of those, I wouldn't want to and when I do I will not engage with them at all or acknowledge.  Otherwise they have a conduit and then, well, more come.   I have had some that had something Important they really Needed to say to someone still Living, on Rare occasion, I will convey that, but, it can Freak the Living Out completely coz it is so Personal and so accurate they know it's not random Bullshitting or a Parlor Trick or Prank. I don't like being Used as a Conduit between the Dead and the Living, so refuse to be participatory.

 And The Son doesn't want them bothering him all the time, it deeply upsets him and disturbs him.  He wants them to realize they're Dead and shouldn't be communicating with The Living, just go to where you should be in the Afterlife and stay there.  He was so upset by this Dead Friend not leaving him alone Today that he was in Tears about it coz Spirit was so persistent.  And I heard him getting so upset and saying, "Just Leave me Alone and Go Away... you're Gone, you're Dead now, don't you KNOW that Dude?!"  When there was nobody in the Room with him.  The Grandson said he'd do a Sage-ing and Cleansing of his Uncle's Room while he's at Work.  The Man saw the Springtime Ltd. Edition Menu on a Commercial for "Cracker Barrel" of the Campfire Menu and asked if we could go.  So, I loaded him up and he had the Beef Campfire Meal and I had the Chicken Campfire Meal, with their delicious Peach Tea.  It was all sublime, I'm glad he saw that Commercial.  *Winks*  See Food Porn of it Below:

 

My Industry Friend Robert and his Husband Dan have Opened a New Antiquities Warehouse in Downtown Phoenix.  I Wish I'd been able to attend their Grand Opening recently, they had it Catered and it was a huge Success on Opening Day, I'm so Happy for them.  I've always liked their Aesthetic and Style.  They used to belong as Designers to other Events and several Antique Malls I go to all the time.  I'd say Robert's Aesthetic is like "Gentlemen's Club of Yesteryear" and I just LOVE it, I'd let him Style and Decorate our whole Home and Trust it would be Perfection and a Style/Aesthetic we'd feel comfortable in and resonate with.  This "Antiquities Warehouse" has a lot of European Style and Vintage Industrial, and Quality Architectural Salvage, so I can't wait to be able to visit.  I'm glad Robert and Dan Shared Images of their Opening Day Event.  {See Below}

Robert

Dan {On the Left}

So this is a great Addition to the Valley's Antiques Market, offering the Primo Good Stuff.  We used to have so many Shops like this and Phoenix was becoming an Antiques Mecca and Destination.  We had so many Vendors who frequented all of Europe and brought Product Back from about Eleven European Countries and even sometimes from Asia.  But Sadly, right around Pandemic they all began going out of Business until so few were left.   And Importing became such an Ordeal, and an Extortion Racket to even get Product released from Customs or not have it Stolen at the Docks and just empty Containers arriving, even before this whole Tariff's Fiasco killed it completely.   Robert and Dan go on Vacations around the whole World and have been to damned near every Continent except Antarctica.  The last Trip was a Safari to Africa.  Dan is a Retired Phoenix Police Officer, Robert has always been an Antiques Dealer, Designer and Stylist extraordinaire for as long as I've known him, which is a long time.  They live in the Historic District of Downtown Phoenix.

We've had some of The Daughter's Besties over to the House for a few Days.  Now that the Problematic Boyfriend is gone, her Friends now come over again all the time and she's resumed her active Social Life.  I'm glad, it's Healthier for her, she has a lot of good Friends, many from Childhood... and many in Mexico too.  The Daughter is on the Left, with Friends Becky {in the Middle, Childhood Friend}, and Danae {on the Right}.   It turned out so good of all of them, the Young folks know how to take good Selfies, I totally Suck at doing it.  *LOL*   They were having a Girl's Spa Day here at the House, Danae knows how to do Massages and Cupping, Becky does Make-Up and Hair.   I liked what they did with The Daughter's Makeup and Hair, it looked Natural and was flattering, making her look a lot Younger, how she looked about 20 Years ago actually, they did an exceptional Makeover and had a lot of Fun.

And remember I told you that in Front of The Granddaughter's Store and the Daycare in that Strip Mall they had to arrest a Naked Guy?   Well, my Vendor Friend Brandon sent me this Pix that he took on his way to Work at our other Antique Mall in Downtown Phoenix and said, "Yep, you know it's definitely Springtime in Phoenix... saw this Naked Guy being Arrested at the Bus Stop on my way in to Work!"  *LMAO*  It is a Human Sideshow out there in Public!!!   Of coarse he Edited the Private Parts so the FB Police Censors wouldn't put him in FB Jail for a Month.  They've been doing that a lot if you express Political Views that are Anti-MAGA and criticize this Regime... but they allow all the MAGA Bullshit and Far Right Hatred, Racism and Bias to be spewed without consequences or Censorship.  *Eye Roll*

The Adult Kids cooked Dinner for the rest of them, since The Man and I had gone out to Eat.  Only, they forgot to turn off one of the Burners on the Stove.  Thankfully it smelled like something was still Cooking so I went to Check and discovered the faux pas!!!  Sometimes they require as much Supervision in the Kitchen as The Man does and Safety Prompts.  *Whew!  Close Call*  The Daughter had Cooked enuf Homemade Spanish Rice to feed the Multitudes, she only had Four Family Members and Two Guests to Feed, since Becky and Danae are still visiting, but she had enuf to feed a Wedding Party!!!  *LOL*  So, lots of leftovers of the Side Dish, just a little of her Homemade Refried Beans and the Carne Asada they'd made.  It all smelled Sublime but The Man and I had just gotten back from "Cracker Barrel" and our Campfire Meals there, so we couldn't eat another thing, we had Leftovers of the Meal we had to bring Home.  About half of mine, but The Man had Surprisingly scarfed down 2/3 of his!  Wow, he was real Hungry then!  And watching that Commercial had Motivated him!  *LOL*

  In case you're wondering Whose adorable Highland Cattle these are, they belong to my Vendor Friend David.  I used to Work with him for many Years on our Night Shifts, he had Spaces at our Antique Mall for Years.  Then he Retired and moved to Missouri where he now had a big Ranch and Highland Cattle, does all the Hunting, Fishing, and Ranching that he always Loved to do.  In Arizona it's too expensive now to Retire and get enuf Land to do all that anymore.   He was Originally from the East Coast, Ohio as I recall.  All his Cattle have Names and LOVE having their Pixs taken, they really Vogue for when they're in front of the Lens.  David takes the best Animal and Nature Shots, he's an excellent Photographer and he was a Mantiques Dealer extraordinaire.  We miss him at the Antique Mall, Helluva nice Guy and Fun to work alongside.

The Tree Nazis were in our area wanting to Molest everyone's Palms and trim them within an inch of their poor Lives.  I won't allow them to Molest ours, I like them Natural and right now they're setting Seed on fluffy stalks and I just Love ours and how they look.  They tower over most other Trees and all other Species of Palms, most are over 100 foot Tall at Maturity and live 80-150 Years or way more in Ideal conditions.  I'd flip my shit if someone cut my Palms within an inch of their Lives, it's not healthy for the Trees actually.  If I do have Work done on any of our Trees, I pay Extra to have an Arborist with Credentials and proper Training on what's best for the Tree and isn't a Hack and Butcherer of Trees posing as a Landscaper or Tree Trimmer.   We have Two of these Majestic Old Mexican Fan Palms on our Front Property.  There's a stump of one in between our Two Old Pine Trees but I don't know when that one was cut down or Why, it was long before we bought the place.

 

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So, that's what I got for ya Today, everything from Highland Cattle to Retail Therapy in One Post... Dawn... The Bohemian