Being Called a Good Witch On A Cinco de Mayo

 I should be getting a Call sometime Today about when the Fridge will be Delivered.  So, I have to stay Home until it arrives and then go visit The Man in the Hospital to see how his Procedure went with the Scope to his Gut?  I'm sure he had to be put under for that Procedure too, like he did for the Stent, and that gave him Pneumonia last time, so he's High Risk for even Elective Procedures that require Sedation.  That always worries me, coz a Procedure or Surgery can be a total Success and the Pneumonia can be the Killer instead.  I've Lost Friends that way actually, Elective Surgeries with low Risk for the actual Procedure, but they get Pneumonia or Die under Anesthesia. 

 My Friend Romeo passed that way having a Colonoscopy and he was over 80, so I didn't even think he should take the Electives Risk personally, and told him so.  But just the scare of, what if you have Cancer, made him agree to it.  BTW: He didn't have Colon Cancer.  Same with my Friend Tim, Elective Surgery that neither he nor I had a Peace about and we talked it over the Day beforehand at Work.  I told him to just Cancel, but the Docs had scared him about not having the Elective Surgery with what could happen if he didn't have it.  Well, he Died with Pneumonia after having had it and the results of the Procedure was that he didn't even have the problem they suspected, so it was to me, a needless Death. 

 Since he'd had a Bad Feeling about the Surgery and I'd had a Bad Premonition about it too, I Wish he'd just have not had it... he'd still be here.   He and Romeo were quite Healthy Seniors.  I've Opted Out of Procedures that were Elective that I did not have a Peace about.  Docs don't like it, but you can't be Forced to have anything Elective no matter how much pressure is put on you that it's a Good Idea.  Not if I have any Intuition or Premonition it's NOT a Good Idea... and I tell them that.  They can't argue with what they don't understand or Believe, but you do.  And if I'm Wrong, then that's on ME, not on them.  But if they talk me into something Elective and they're Wrong, I'm still Dead or having the Complications to Deal with then.

The G-Kid Force are both up at 5:00 a.m., she coz she has to go to Work earlier on a Tuesday, me coz I have to take her.  The Young Prince, is probably on a Psychotic Bender to where his intrusive Thoughts kept him up all Night.  I've allowed him to Paint his Side Door leading Outside from The Art Studio Space he occupies, just to get his Mind off other things troubling him.  He's gonna Gay it up, pretty sure.  *LOL*  The rest of the Family is like, did you know he's out there Painting that Door Mom/Gramma?  Coz sometimes he Arts Up shit without permission... but, I did tell them he'd asked for Permission this time and I was okay with it.  Visual results will follow... it is likely to be quite Colorful.  *LOL*

There's already a Fairie Garden and some Fairie Lighting strung across the Eaves leading up to it, he's putting his Stamp on where he Resides and I'm Okay with it.  Chances are, he's never leaving again, so, he might as well.   And he has some Strange Talisman Objects and Chalk Heiroglyphics outside of that Door anyway, for 'Protection'.  Which just Freaks his Paranoid Schizophrenic Mother Out!  She keeps asking me why he does all that?   And am I sure it's for Protection and he's not putting Spells on us all instead... Paranoid Minds Think like that!  Shit, I dunno, he says it's for 'Protection' from the Evil Spirits and I choose to Believe that coz I don't want no Evil Spirits hanging out here.  *LOL* 

 Then she's asking, well, why hasn't he put any of that 'Protection' shit around my 5th Wheel then, doesn't he want ME Protected??!!!   *Le Sigh and Oy Vey... no answer is gonna not make her Paranoid after all.*  Well, do you want me to ask him to?  No, coz she's not sure if it's for Good or a Curse... and... well... Two Schizophrenics sometimes aren't on the same Page as each other, what can I say?   She couldn't Raise her Kids coz she thought, as Newborns, they were "Looking at her 'Funny' and she didn't think they 'Liked' her!"   So, Social Services felt she wasn't Well enuf, so, all I can say is it hasn't gotten any better just coz she's Older and they're Grown.  She still thinks sometimes they are looking at her 'Funny' and mebbe don't 'Like' her.   And, becoz of how she is, they are Guarded around her.

 Anyway, The News is saying Anti Trust Laws may being violated when cost of some product is outpacing Inflation, I'm not Surprised.  Anyone who can exploit the sagging Economic situation and make more Profit is gonna, so, who should be Surprised they are?   The Administration is setting the Tone and Example of Exploitation, Extortion, Criminal, Grifts, Cons, and unbridled unchecked Behavior against abiding by the Rule of Law, so why have the expectation anyone else isn't gonna now think, why can't I?  Once you devolve from the very Top of any Society, it's only a slippery slope Downhill to a race to the Bottom from there.  Big Biz is just doing what our Leadership is doing flagrantly now, we all know it, if we're paying attention and not keeping Eyes Wide Shut.

I have to roll my Eyes dramatically anytime they're interviewing Farms in Deep Red States who are definitely being screwed over by who they Voted for, yet, still have 'Faith' this Regime will do Right by them.  Hey, no pity then if you still remain Loyal to your Abusers who don't give a Rat's Ass about you and yours.  That's some real Cult shit right there and they're getting what they Voted for, that's all I can say about it.   I did NOT Vote for that shit tho', and anyone who didn't is not getting what we Voted for and knew would happen if 2.0 were allowed to get better at what they didn't successfully impose in 1.0, and that it would definitely be way worse in the Sequel.   I want better for my Children, Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren to Inherit as a Future here in America.  It's not a Big Ask.  Competent Leadership who aren't Career Criminals should be an Expectation, not a Crap Shoot of Chance and sheer Luck!!!

What slays me with Partisan Politics Devotees is that if their Side is doing something they're not so critical and make excuses for it... but if the other opposing Side did the same fucking thing they go absolutely Mental about it!  Such Idiocy and outright hypocrisy is just completely Insane to me.  An Idiot or a Hypocrite I have very little Pity for no matter what they're enduring that was completely preventable and they brought upon themselves.  And, worse, upon everyone else who is the collateral damage of their foolish decisions, Cultish Devotion, Idiocy, Stupidity and Hypocrisy.  Anyone who Voted this Regime in deserves every damned thing it has wrought upon them, it's what they thought they Wanted and THEY put in Charge.  They are Responsible for all of it and I do Blame them harshly.  Coz clearly, we don't WANT the same things, or the same Sense of Right and Wrong or what's Acceptable, that's Fucking Obvious!!!  We couldn't be more Unalike actually or share less Common Ground.

 I watched mebbe 5 Minutes of Morning News before turning it off.  I wanted updates Locally on the Fire, not coverage of how much MORE Fucked Up America and it's Leadership is getting and the Crimes they keep committing with zero consequences.  I don't require Daily reminders it's Fucked Up, I knew it would be and it is gonna get way worse, that's a Given.  That's not even being Pessimistic, it's being Realistic and seeing where it's all heading.  So, don't Need any Media Source to explain it to me with whatever their Spin on it is.  Americans SHOULD be panicking about it, coz, we're Fucked, we've turned every Ally we ever had against us becoz of this Regime, and our Enemies are paying Attention to the rapid demise and decline. 

 He's cozied up to our Enemies, so, I feel it could be quite Intentional and he Sold us Out a long time ago.   He's been in Bed with the Enemy a LONG time, he's been Bought and Paid for by Bad Actors and Dark Money Decades ago, with how much he Owes them and the Goods they have on him, and Deals he's made with them, Trust and Believe.  Every time he speaks of 'Treason', his Accusations are nothing but a Confession.   And it is punishable by Death, so, just sayin' that when it's proven how Treasonous he's been to America, may he suffer the consequences of his Crime against his own Country that made him have the ability to become a fucking Billionaire.  That Psycho Loser Career Criminal Fool could never have made it so good anywhere else in the World like he has by being Born here.  I feel there's no way Back, only a way Down at this juncture.  But, Moving On... 

This Morning I continued with what Princess T began in the Kitchen Yesterday of a Swedish Death Cleanse and looking at every item in our Drawers and Cupboards with a more Critical Eye.  Do we Need it?  Do we Use it?  If not, we're filling Donation Boxes with it to clear out Storage Space to be more Functional and uncluttered with needless stuff. We took a full Banana Box to SAVERS Yesterday and I've filled another Box this Morning.  Some things won't be Sold at the Antique Mall or even the hassle of a Yard Sale.  We haven't done as well with Yard Sales as we expected we might living right on a Frontage Road.  And, Honestly, it's a lot of Work to set up and take down if you're not gonna profit off doing it.  I'd rather Donate and build up Positive Charitable Energies.  Givers Gain and what we Donate is good stuff, we just don't use or Need it anymore.

So, a Swedish Death Cleanse is in Process right now.  And taking Stock of what we are keeping and organizing it better in Cupboards, Drawers and Pantry areas in and around the Kitchen.   I have some very high Cupboards not being used and I may put our Stockpile of what we use most often, up there now once we go thru everything.  We had organized some Cupboards and the Pantry recently anyway, so those spaces are now more functional.  I just want all of it to be more functional and not as cluttered.  I am the worse Offender of Clutter and confess I'm a Work in Progress myself to fight the tendencies I have towards Re-Offending.  I can be a very Organized Chaos Individual and it can become the bane of your existence and a constant Battle with yourself.   

I want to make some Positive Changes and make them Habitual ones I adhere to and do with consistency.  I wanted to go to The Gym Today while The Man is Hospitalized and I'm not in Caregiver Mode as much.  But, the Fridge has to be Delivered first before I have that Freedom to be out of the House waiting on them to Call and tell me when that will be.  I've been up since 5:00 a.m. so it seems as if the Day has been long already and I've done a lot already, yet, it's only just past 8:00 a.m.!!!  *LOL*  Patience is not one of my Virtues, can you only tell?  *Winks*  Once the Delivery Guys call and I know when the time block is that they'll be here, I'll feel less Anxious about it.  The Anticipation and Excitement is heightened and palpable.  *LOL*

It's kind of Crazy, but we're SO Excited to be getting a new Fridge, all Three Generations of us, isn't that a tad Weird and Crazy?!  *Ha ha ha*  Mebbe not, it IS a Major Purchase, and those always are a mixed Bag of Excitement and added Financial Strain.  I did the Math tho' and at Zero Percent Interest and a Year to pay it off, Si Se Puede!  *Winks and Laughs*  Plus, it wasn't Optional, the Old Fridge had given out, completely on the Freezer section of it, and the Fridge section is barely keeping things Cold enuf so we've pretty much emptied it already and using our Backup Older Appliance in the RV Garage and Princess T's small Apartment Retro looking Fridge for now.  I couldn't afford to lose more Perishables after we Lost 50% of our Frozen Foods already!  But, a new Fridge is a Clean, Blank Canvas now to Organize Foods in.

That Energy made us WANT to do the rest of the Kitchen and get things more in Order and Purged, Decluttered, Cleaned and Organized better.  Princess T and The Young Prince are excellent at helping me make rapid fire decisions about Letting Go.  They just ask the Simple Logical Questions to which I MUST have an immediate Answer to.  Do you NEED this Gramma?  Do you ever USE this?  When was the last time you USED or WORE this?  Does it bring you Joy... or Anxiety?  I can't Waffle, which is my tendency if I don't have an Accountability Partner assisting me with Decision making about Stuff!  Oddly, in my Corporate Lives, I could make the most important decisions rapidly and with excellence and Wisdom everyone Trusted, coz it was Business, and not Personal.

But STUFF... Christ on a Bike I can form the most ridiculous attachments and thought processes to fucking STUFF!!!   I might NEED this someday, which, that day never fucking comes in most cases... and from a logical standpoint I KNOW this.  And sometimes the Vision or Fantasy of doing or using something impairs Judgment about the Reality it ain't never fucking happening in a Month of Sundays.  Like I got Perogi Presses when I Imagined on the Canvas of my very Fertile Imagination, that one Day I'd be making them... I never did.  They are New in the Boxes from YEARS ago, along with a Fancy Canape Set never used!  But certainly Imagined doing these lovely Canapes at Gatherings that never happened either... where we'd be eating fucking Canapes and drinking Wine we don't drink I guess... I dunno... Fantasies are ridiculous like that sometimes!  *LMAO*

The Young Prince is looking at the Perogi and Canape Set and saying, "Gramma, I'm Fabulously Gay, and I'm never even using this shit at some Party I might never be Hosting, so, let's just Donate it and mebbe someone else actually will???"   His Sister agreed, some shit I had, that is very Useful shit to someone who would actually use it, she didn't even know what it was or what it is FOR?   Specialized Kitchen Gadgets that keep Produce Fresher I guess for Storage, but, Perishables never last long enuf to go Bad in this household, so, WHY, Gramma, WHY would we even NEED them?  Have you EVER actually USED them, they look unused and New?  

 Okay, okay, so Donate them then, I said, if not Pressed to be Logical, I wouldda put them back tho', I KNOW this about me... as the Rapid Fire Interrogation for Decision Making continued unabated.  Until a whole Cabinet was now cleared out, organized, and a Banana Box filled with Donations.  *Bwahahahaha*  And it did Feel Good to drop it all off at SAVERS.  The Granddaughter said she Smiles when she sees our shit flowing thru her Store's System and everyone is saying what nice Donations are coming in... and she knows, it's from Home!  Sometimes she'll tell them, Yeah, I MADE my Gramma get rid of this and she's NOT Buying it back!   BTW: I do NOT Buy Back what I Donated, I'm not THAT Mental.    And I'm trying to be more discerning about what is Bought now. *Bwahahahaha*

And I haven't Bought any more Art Supplies, so The Young Prince is Proud of me for that.  And he's an Artist... but, he Logically told me, we could Create FOREVER Gramma and never use up what you already have.  Just your Art Stamps alone, I could Sell for the rest of my own Lifetime Gramma, so... I'm glad you're having more restraint.  And those do Resale well and he knows this, we've made a lot of Money/Profits off my Hoarding of Art Stamps alone at the Antique Mall.  Especially since Craft Stores really struggled after Pandemic and Tariffs have cratered the few who were left.  So, the Product isn't even available anymore so all the Artists and Crafters are Buying from us now and we've got a Devoted Following of those Clients now.   Half of what I make lately is between Specialty and Vintage Clothing/Accessories... and Art Stamps!

Oh, and the Pokemon Cards I just brought in are Selling like Crazy, and you Sell Out of anything Pokemon and a new Card Collecting Store just Opened near SAVERS and The Son said, look how crowded that Store is Mom, it's small and there must be 50 People packed in there Shopping already and they don't even have a Sign yet, just a Banner!!!  So, I may also see if they Buy too from Pickers like me rather than trying to Sell it myself and just make a quicker Turn on my Investment of what I Find of it?  I don't mind lowering Margins for Quick Turns and Quick Profits, it's The Thrill Of The Hunt that is my Juice anyway.  The Selling of it in increments can be what's a Pain in the Ass and a lot of Work.  So, I rather Sell to Industry Folks who have no Saturation Point so long as I leave some Profit Margins for them too.

This used to be just 1/4 of my Library and Office Space at The Villa McManse, spacious, since it was a ridiculous size Home with lotsa empty Rooms even Five Years into living there.  Which now fill this Home and the RV Garage Mahal Space even tho' I divested myself of so much!  Now I'm behind a Door in a Corner of our Bedroom on a Card Table.  *LOL*   I Sold the Antique French Desk to my Friend Shelly, but upgraded my Computer System when we moved here coz I Sold a lot to pay for The Move from there.  Anything anyone would pay Cash for on the Spot, was up for grabs during that Transitional Period just so I'd have less to move.  It will was 7 Units at the U-Haul that I had to do a Trade with the Manager for so I didn't actually have to Pay any Money.  *Bwahahaha*  I'm sure Kyle misses me and my Hood Hookups we Traded for Units he wasn't using?  You can take the Gal outta Da Hood, but you can never take Da Hood outta the Gal, as they say.  *Winks*

I look back tho' and think, well, I have gotten rid of a lot already and just have more to go, that's all.  Downsizing is a gradual Process, since you took a Lifetime to accumulate Too Much, and now it will take Time to divest yourself to what you Feel will be Just Enough, whatever that Looks and Feels like?  And at times it's easier for me to Let Go than at other times and so when I Feel like Letting Go, I do so in Mega Doses, since that Feeling might not last long and pass until next time.  *Smiles*  Right now I'm definitely in Letting Go Mode and Emotionally Feeling overwhelmed by Issues of Life, so I don't Need to Feel overwhelmed by the Stuff of Life as well.  Getting rid of things I can Control makes it easier to accept those things I cannot Control that are overwhelming to me right now.  The Psychiatry of it doesn't elude me, I know what I'm Moving Thru and Why.  We're all Aging Out Quickly... Time getting Shorter.

The Kiddos are all telling me I may have to come to Terms with Letting Go of The Man, and they're not sure I'm going to be Okay with that when the Time comes?   So, let's start with Stuff Gramma/Mom... and they could be Right about Practicing on Stuff first, then on the Letting Go of People.  I just lost another Best Friend on the 30th, and there have been those before her, and it never gets easier to Let Go of those People who must be Let Go of.   And The Man is hanging on by a Thread and he's worried if I'll be Okay if he has to Go?   And I don't want him to linger on account of me, yet, I don't wanna Lose him either... so... it is fucking HARD.  And it's not like I'd rather Go First, coz I'm the Primary Caregiver here so everyone would then be Screwed.  The Temptation to wanna is always there tho', I ain't gonna Lie.  I'd be packed and fuckin' ready to Go if it was indeed my Time to, I'm Tired, I've been Tired all my Life it seems.  Another Blogger was talking about that too in a recent Post, Dear Pixie of Blog MY LIFE SO FAR.  I understand and can Relate.

In Real Time it is Cinco de Mayo and I don't have any Plans to Celebrate it but I did have my Lunch at a fav Mexican Restaurant called "Manuel's" which is right by the Hospital.  I'd waited in all Morning for the Call from the Deliver People, it never came.  So, "Lowe's" had given me a Number to call with an Inquiry, and all I got was a recording, but, it said my Delivery was Scheduled between 4:00-8:00 P.M.!!!   Well, that would have been Nice to know with a Phone Call so I didn't waste my entire Morning waiting for their Call which never came and I was advised by the Store they'd contact me to let me know when I'm Scheduled!!!  They did not and perhaps I should have just Called earlier, but with being told they'd Call me, I hadn't Called them until by Noon nobody was Calling with any information and I had things to do.  Then, just now at 2:30 I got a call that they're on their way!!!  So much for the Time Window.   Thank God I happen to be Home then!!!  *LOL*

I wanted to know the results of the Procedure that The Man had Yesterday Afternoon.  Dr. Pham, his Cardiologist, was there and told me it had shown nothing, which was a good thing, no Stomach or Esophagus Bleeds or damage, but, we don't know where the Blood loss was coming from either?   Since he's doing better Physically and Mentally, they do Plan to release him to be sent Home, mebbe Today or Tomorrow, which, he's Happy about.   The Bills are rolling in already for what the Insurance have Paid or won't Pay, from previous Hospitalizations and Procedures, which is running into the Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars again at this point.  *Le Sigh*  TriCare doesn't Pay for or Approve hardly anything, so if you didn't have Medicare, you'd be absolutely screwed.  I don't know if the VA is on the hook for anything since they transferred him this time?

So, anyway, before I went over to the Hospital I had my Cinco de Mayo Meal, they had a new Birrea Taco Plate and I added my Fav thing on their Menu which is their Green Corn Tamale.  And I had Flan for Dessert.  So, the Food Porn is Ahhhhmazing Today.  *Winks*  Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!   MUCH LATER:  The Two Young Men delivering the Fridge were way early and both were Young African Immigrants, I'd guess both to be in their 20's.  One spoke nor understood any English at all and just Smiled a lot and took Orders from the other one.  And the Bilingual one was speaking what I thought to be a Nigerian dialect to him.  They both had long Dreadlocks and the Bilingual one was so Tall he had to duck to come in thru my Front Door, and a good looking Young Man, pleasant, and was the one in charge.  They had to remove my Front Door but had Fridges swapped out and Door back on so quick it was impressive!!! 

But then an Odd thing happened that was totally unexpected!  They have to Photograph the installation after they're done and of coarse I have to Sign for it being completed.  But, the Bilingual Guy, who was probably the Age of my Grandchildren {they both were probably in their 20's}, says to me in his broken English that he Needs my Help and Advice.  I'm thinking, becoz English is his 2nd language, I'm misunderstanding what he Needs from me?  Then comes the really unexpected part, he said he Needs my Help becoz I'm a "Good Witch"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OMG, that caught me completely off Guard, and he then says he wants me to see something and give Advice on it.  He still has his Phone out coz he'd taken Pixs of my Fridge installation, but he then shows me a Pix that Chills me to my Bones.  And I wasn't sure what to say to him about it.  So I was Careful with my Words.

He points to the Photo and then to himself and said he was Divorced, the Pix had what I could already tell was some Magic being done, but DARK fucking Magic IMO, it made me uneasy!!!  Shit I wouldn't Touch with a 10-Foot Pole kind of stuff.   With Two Photos on a Homemade Altar, one of a Child, sitting above the Altar, one of obviously him in the middle being the Subject Matter of the Energy Work.  Some Hoodoo or Vodou was obvious, Candles and clear symbolism that was not Good as to what is being done.  I just didn't get the sense it was Good Magic for Healing Prosperity or Protection.  Which would have been a Good thing, I've seen Practices that are Good Energy and meant for Good.  

  But, I didn't want to Scare him, and I asked him if he was being Protected or anyone was offering him Protection?  He said No, I told him, well, you Need to be, this is Dark, do you understand?  He did and felt it was not Good.  I told him I don't mess with anything Dark, but did he have a Spiritual Advisor who could offer him Advice and do some Protection against what his Ex is doing?  He said he did and Thanked me profusely.   I felt he needed someone from his Culture who better understands the Practices they use, I'm not familiar, I just know when something has Bad Energy and this Felt like it did.  My reaction to it was Oh Shit, he's got someone very much portending ill will towards him.  This Young Man already had significant horrific Scarring indicative of a vicious physical nature, he had a huge Scar across his Neck and down his upper Chest, he's been thru some stuff.

 

I would guess he is an Asylum Refugee escaping what would be a Death Sentence to stay in his Country.  But, clearly he was more unsettled by what his Ex was doing and I don't blame him, I would be too.  I do Hope his Spiritual Advisor has some Solutions for him, this was Bad Juju his Ex is messing with.  He told me he hadn't seen his Son in Two Years, a Lovely looking little Boy, tall like his Dad.  Anyway, that was all very unexpected and of coarse The G-Kid Force and The Son said, well, clearly he got your Vibe Mom/Gramma.  That happens infrequently, but isn't the first time people have thought me to be a Witch... but, a Good One.  *LOL*  I Plan to give both the Young Men a good review becoz they were so careful bringing a Fridge out of a tight space to maneuver it and bringing the new one in without nary a scratch or upsetting anything in the Home or the Porch.  They were so Careful and Respectful of our Home.

 

*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

The Bad News Keeps Coming...It's A Seismic Life Shift

 With being up 24 Hours I Slept In, then, got woken to the Grandson panicking that the Fridge's Freezer in the Kitchen had gone on the fritz and everything had thawed out!  Yikes, we knew this Fridge is going out and limping along.  It was brand New when we bought this Home only 6 Years ago and was a very expensive Stainless Steel Appliance with all the Bells and Buzzers.  But, that means nothing, they only build Major Appliances now to last perhaps 7 Years tops before needing replacement now.  We've become such a disposable Society!!!  And workmanship on anything is shoddy and made to NOT last, so you must replace it all often, adding continuous needless expenses on essential products.

The only reason we could Salvage half of the Food was we had some of those Freezer Pacs in there and they'd kept it Cold enuf, but we lost half the Frozen Food.  And I'd JUST done the Shopping, so, that wasted a considerable amount of the Grocery Budget for this Month!  Luckily we have an Older, yet better built Fridge, from the McManse, that's in the RV Garage Mahal, so we moved everything to that Freezer that was Salvageable.  It wasn't all lost, but, a lot of really good Food was, such a waste and no way to have known.  Luckily the Fridge Portion is still Working, for now.

But, I'll have to go price Fridges now and see about having one more Loan to Buy one.  *Le Sigh*  I don't want more Debt on Credit, but don't have the Cash and don't wanna risk buying a Used one.  And, I want a nice one becoz we take Care and want expensive things to be the ones we really wanted if we're gonna have to make that financial sacrifice to purchase them.  New Fridges that are the size to accommodate a large 3 Generation Family are all expensive, so I want the one I really want if I'm gonna hafta finance it and make payments on it anyway.  Tomorrow I hafta go look at Fridges then before this one goes out and we risk losing more perishables.

Then I went to visit The Man, he'd had some Asshole Doctor who was On Call and didn't bother Reading all the information the VA and the Paramedics had transferred him over with.  Or what I'd told Staff on the previous shift before I left early this Morning at 5:00 a.m..   So, he expected The Man to know why he was there, why the VA transferred him, what is going on... when, The Man not only doesn't know any of that, he can't remember anyway coz of his Memory Care Issues and I'd made that Clear to everyone we Talked to the Day before and I know there has to be Notes on that which should have been conveyed to Shift Change Employees.  *Le Sigh*

So, that Doc made The Man feel badly for not being cognitively up to explaining everything, which now intensified his Anxiety.   So I railed the Head Nurse about it, she was great, but I told her I didn't appreciate any Staff Member doing that to him, making a bad situation we're going thru even worse.  And that it wasn't his own Doctor, just someone on Call, so I don't even know who this Guy was, but, they know who this Doctor is and I wanted them to know, I really don't want him around my Loved One if he's not up to the Job or feels some kind of way Negatively while being Assigned a New Patient.  Fuck that Guy.  He's Lucky I don't know who he is, I'd file a Complaint against him.

The Man looks Jaundiced, they're doing more Tests coz they do think things are going very Wrong with Internal Organs and they need to identify what and why?  They're taking more Blood regularly to Test and I told them he just had a Blood Transfusion coz he's got Internal Bleeding, so his Blood is low already!!!   He wasn't as confused, so I think the Transfusion helped some with hallucinations, Anxiety, Confusion and not getting enuf Oxygen to his Brain.  And he doesn't feel as Weakened.  He's got an Alarm on his Bed tho' and lots of Specialty Warning Bracelets on him... Fall Risk, Wander Risk, etcetera... each one a different Color Code.  He's on a Liquid Diet 'til they know what's going on with his Digestive System.

So, I had to coax him to drink some of his Lunch, he didn't like it, he wants Real Food, and it was Chicken or Beef Powder to put into Water to make a Broth.  It was a melted Popsicle, Cherry, which I poured into a Cup so he could at least drink it since it had thawed out and was leaking.  It was some Tea, some Apple Juice, some Cranberry Juice.  Not very appetizing at all and it's hard enuf to get him to eat tasty Foods anymore.   I just Hope they don't send him Home again and nothing has improved and it's a revolving door in and out of ER's constantly with Medical Emergencies becoz things haven't been addressed or identified and we're flying Blind in trying to Care for him at Home.

We can't just rely on MY Intuitions and Premonitions about what's going Wrong, the Medical Community Needs to catch up with Identifying it first and catch up, dammit!!!   Every time a Doctor or Specialist tells me they're in total Awe that my Intuition or Premonition was Spot On and eerily so accurate, I wanna say, yeah Doc, it's handy and avoids a LOT of catastrophic outcomes, BUT, I don't think we ALL should be relying on that, should we, No?!  It makes me nervous when I've predicted something way before all their Specialized Knowledge and Testing does! Or they miss it and I insist, check again, I don't have a Peace about those results, it missed something, and then they go back and find out I was Right and they were Wrong!  Fuuuck!  

Yeah, I'm sure it makes for some Good Stories for them to tell about the Old Gypsy Witch {or whatever they think I am, LOL}, who told them exactly what was Wrong, when they were Clueless and didn't know for sure.   BUT, I'm Paying THEM for their Medical Expertise to find out what's Wrong, run Intervention Medically, and Save him, am I Right?  *Eye Roll*  I don't wanna be the one to be Calling the Shots during a Medical Emergency that can mean Life or Death for my Loved One, based primarily on Intuition or Premonitions... as handy as that might be to us!!!  Dr. Patel, the VA Psychiatrist, who is East Indian, might be one of the few Shrinks I ever have met who doesn't think me having Premonitions like I do, is just in my Head as complete Nonsense... coz he knows how many times already it's Saved a Loved One of mine to have them.  I always appreciated that.

During this last Visit, when Dr. Patel remembered so much about our Unusual Family and it's Dynamic, he told me that if I didn't always have these Premonitions and uncanny Intuition, I'd of been a Widow well over a Decade ago.  I know this is True, The Man knows it's True, and that's why he always tells his Docs that I won't "Allow" him to Die, becoz I Predict it ahead of time and run an Intervention so he can't Die and Cheats the Grim Reaper.  *Bwahahahaha*  No, you can't have him, he's MINE and I'm holding onto him, go away.  But, Death has a way of always Winning in The End, and will come back later if not successful, so I know this too.  

If you have Nine Lives like a Cat, that 10th time, The Reaper will eventually come Get you.  The Kids all gathered last Night and told me I may not be able to prevent Dad "Going" for much longer!?  And mebbe he Needs my Permission to "Go"?  They could be Right?  I know he wants to and is ready to "Go", he's said so, and... all my Pep Talks are not encouraging him to "Stay" now, or to keep Fighting to.  He told me this might be the one time he has to Surrender and not Win a Battle he's been Forced into again?  I just don't know he's not got some Fight left in him and I don't want him Giving Up prematurely and too soon.  But, I don't want him suffering either, so, it's a Tough Call either way, isn't it?

LATER: Visited The Man with The Son, he was having a Scope Procedure at 2:00 p.m. to look into his Gut.  We also stopped at "Lowe's" where I have a Line of Credit to pick out a Fridge.  We got the G.E. Cafe 36 inch in Stainless.  They had one with a Black Interior and Copper Trims but it was $1,500 more and the exact same Fridge.  Plus ours was now on Sale $1,500 OFF the original Price, so we got it for $2,300 at 0% Interest for 12 Months, I was Happy with the Deal we Negotiated and our Sales Clerk, Manny, was really fast and Helpful.  It's being Delivered Tomorrow, I got a 5 Year Warranty which will replace anything that goes Wrong in 5 Years and if you never file a Claim you get 30% back. 

 They had a low Delivery Charge of $60 and only $50 to haul the Old Fridge away.  Ours is pictured at the Bottom but has some Upgrades and is exactly the same Inside as that Lovely Black & Copper Interior Upgrade Interior tho' with that Ice Water Pitcher in the Lefthand Door too, but, just all White.   For $3,000 less for not getting the Upgrade Colors and getting ours on Sale too at a Deep Discount, I felt it was the Better Deal.  I was ok paying $2,300 for a top-o-the-line Model, but $4,300+ was too much.  And ours looks just as nice on the Interior and has that whole back that Lights Up where it says Cafe', it Won Design Awards and compared to the other Fridges on Display, I can see why it did.  Once I saw the Cafe' Model, I knew I wanted one.  Had the Black Interior one been on Sale too I may have folded and gotten it, looks so Bougee and Uptown Luxurious with that Black Interior. *Ha ha ha*  So, they're Delivering it Tomorrow.  Yay!  The G-Kid Force cleaned out the Old Fridge and a Path to bring the New Fridge In and Old one Out.  They were excited.  Yeah, we get excited about New Appliances.  *LOL*

So, Irrigation had come at 2:40 in the Morning until almost 4:00 a.m. and The Son did it.  But I noticed by around 10:00 a.m. that our Water was very high in the Yards and Pasture Area and asked him, did our Neighbors remember to Open the Main Gate back up to the Canal after they got their rotation?  Coz this Water is too high!!!  They get it after us and we Share the Canal behind our Homes, they live directly behind us and are a new Younger Hispanic Couple, very Nice, that bought Old Hippie Laura's Property.  Well, I waded out there with him and they had put the Gate up but folks Upstream to us had not removed Yard Cutting Debris, fallen Fruit and some Garbage out of their Canal beforehand and it floated downstream and lodged now!   Since Omar's Property is next, he has his portion of the Canal Covered and it had obstructions now which couldn't be seen there, but were backing up in our Canal section and visible as Jetsam and Flotsam Debris!  Shit, it now meant we had to remove the obstructions and rake it out to get the Water flowing again so it would quit flooding our Property!!!

I HATE when folks don't Maintain their Canals appropriately and cause Flooding!  We did it, but then wading back to the House, becoz our Water was so high and the ground so saturated, it was muddy in a spot and I slipped and fell, flat on my Back, laying in the Water like a Starfish!!!   The Son's Face was mortified and he's yelling, "Mom!  Are you alright!?"  And I'm just laying there in my Pajamas, completely now soaked in Icy Cold Water, it's only 70 Degrees Outside so it's Freezing to be that Wet, and it's Windy, I had Sticks and Goatheads in my Dreadlocks, and I'm Laughing my Ass off coz my Flip Flops had come off my Feet and were Floating beside me!!!  I wasn't hurt coz luckily the water was high enuf to break my Fall really, whew, but, I sure was like a Drowned Rat and his poor Face made me Laugh even harder, coz he didn't think any of it was Funny at all.  I could have really gotten hurt, so I know Why, Christ, he already has his Dad Hospitalized and didn't need me taking a Senior Fall during Irrigation!   It's why the Kids do it FOR me now.  *LOL*

He helped me pull the Goatheads Burrs out of my Dreads, coz Dreadlocks are like Velcro and so are Goathead Burrs, so that's all that hurt, pulling those out of my Hair.   And of coarse my Pride was Hurt a little bit, coz damn that Mud was so slippery I Fell FAST, he said like in a Second I was down flat on my Back, my Feet had gone completely out from under me and I hit the Water completely Horizontal!!!   Anyway, I cancelled the Two Home Visits The Man had Tomorrow with Nurse Remi from the VA and John the Wound Nurse and told them he's Hospitalized yet again, more complications.   And since it stayed in the low 70's and was high Winds all Day I did some Environmental Cleanup and got a lot of Cans, also traded in our Aluminum for Cash.

 But, that huge Fire in Buckeye is still 0% Contained and Residents are worried about that and upset none has been contained at all.   Especially with these high Winds, it started out being 500 Acres burned and now it's well over 1,000 Acres and Zero Percent Contained!!!   The lower Pix my Friend Tina, that I always meet at "Sweet Salvage Event", took from her Home's Front Yard at 4:00 this Morning, she's very worried they may have to Evacuate if the Fire Dept. doesn't get more of a handle on this.  They should have had some Containment this close to Cities and huge Residential Areas that only have Rural type Roadways in and out.  

If folks had to leave in a hurry, trying to get Thousands of people down Two Lane Roads safely and without Traffic Jams would be very difficult.  Like what happened in California when they had their uncontained Fires too close to Residential areas near Malibu.   Out where Tina lives some folks have Multi-Million Dollar Homes in the White Tanks Mountain Communities of Verrado out there.   And the Air Quality is shit now over the whole West Valley.  So anyone with Respiratory Illness is getting really ill from it and can't Breathe.   Tina said her Home smells like Smoke!!!   It's called the Hazen Fire.

I found some Old Attempts of me trying to do Selfies, Above and Below. I really Suck at it, which is obvious.   The Above one I had the Flash on and almost blinded myself and it made me look washed out, I'm definitely not that Pale, I almost do look White in that picture my Kiddos all said.  *LOL*  And my Eyes look more Light Grey in Real Life, I think I was wearing something Blue that day and when you have Pale Grey Eyes they reflect whatever Color you're wearing.  I've worn Turquoise before and look like I have Turquoise Eyes...Pale Grey Eyes are the most reflective of whatever you're wearing coz they don't have much Color.   And I was Surprised that only 1% of the World's Population has my Color of Eyes, I guess they're pretty Rare... but on my Mom's side of the Family several have them from the Paternal Side.  My Welsh part Roma Gran-Gran and my Mom also had the same Grey Eyes.  One of my Granddaughters got them too.

The lower Pix Above of the Trio of hideous Selfies is the most accurate of my Complexion and Eye Color, coz I was wearing a Shirt that matched my actual shade of Eye Color, so they didn't reflect any Color they aren't.   And also the most recent attempt, I still Suck at the Art of the Selfie tho', I ain't getting better at it.   The Young People take such great Selfies, I don't know how they do it, I always look positively demented or Possessed in mine!  *LOL*   I just Hope I don't look that Crazy all of the time?!!!!!!   But, mebbe I do, I dunno???   *LMAOROTF*

Above is the Granddaughter that not only got my exact Eye Color, but looks so much like I did at her Age that it's eerie, like she's a Clone of me.   So that Recessive Gene is still being passed along to yet another Generation, even tho' it skipped One Generation, coz neither me or my Brother had any Children with Grey Eyes.   The same with my Welsh Nanna's Green Eyes, skipped over my Generation and our Kid's Generation, but resurfaced and The Young Prince has them.  So, Two Generations skipped before that one showed up again.  Altho' on my Dad's Side of the Family I have One Cousin, Wewokajanna, with those same Green Eyes, which looks really Odd, yet Striking, on someone who otherwise looks Indigenous.  I knew a Native American Guy whose Name was Clifton Grey Eyes.  Perhaps they had the same Gene and took on the Surname becoz of it, I dunno, he didn't have the Grey Eyes.   I think he moved back to Tuba City on the Rez, he is still Alive and looks the same, only Older of coarse.

I do have some Good News... The Young Prince was Approved for his AHCCCS Health Insurance.  *Whew*  And, his Brown Recluse Spider Bite drained and tho' it looks bad still, hopefully when he's been on the Medications for the 7 Days he won't have to go back to an ER for it?   And, now that he has Health and Mental Health Insurance he can get his Psyche Meds and also get a Primary Physician now.  I'll take him to where, me, The Daughter, The Granddaughter already go becoz I've been very pleased with the Care there.   Below is a lovely Photo of The Man's Home Nurse that the VA is sending, Nurse Remi, in her Traditional Country's Beautiful Ethnic Wardrobe.   She dresses in American Wardrobe mostly now, but I talk so much about her and how much her visits have helped our Family, I wanted to put a Face to the Person.  And this is a Lovely Photo of her, which hit my FB Feed, our Devices are always listening in on us all you know, so seem to know anyone we have contact with, it's creepy, Yes.   

Remi is just a shortened version of her first Name, the ending of it, which is much longer and starts with an "O"... as is her last Name very long, and starts with an "I", and I'd probably mispronounce both horribly.  *Smiles*  I Love hearing her Stories of Home, tho', as a Christian Minority there, it is almost a Death Sentence and why all of her Family except her Elderly Mom, all sought Asylum in various Countries like America, Canada, and Australia.  They're all Trained Professionals and an Asset to each Country they Immigrated to and received Asylum in.  Her Dear Mother is over 90 Years Old and still lives in Nigeria... and probably has no Interest in leaving her Homeland where she's spent the whole 90 Years of her Life.   All of the African Immigrants I know speak fluent English as well as their 1st Language.  And they spoke English even when living in Africa, as well as whatever African Language spoken too.

I just Loved the Celebration of Life that the Funeral Home Created for my BFF, it's Beautiful and I Loved the Wording of it especially.   The Sunrise part of your Birth and Sunset part of your Departure is just Beautiful Wordage IMO.   It would be nice if her Daughter can Video Record the Service, Kathie and I attended Church for many, many Years Together and we also worked the Food Ministries for Decades Together working with Marginalized Populations in the greatest Need.  She was Tireless about Volunteer Work and overcoming whatever comes against you.  So, she was in so many ways a Living Testimony of triumph over a rough Hand Dealt.  Not Perfection mind you, she was as very flawed as most of us are, but, she had the biggest Heart and was Ride or Die for her Family and her Friends.  She would Help anyone and was Fearless, and when she was Afraid, she just did it Afraid anyway.  That's why she and my Dad got along so well, you'd of thought she'd been Raised by him and she truly Loved my Parents, and my whole Family.

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Peace, Love and Light to you from the Arizona Desert... Have a nice Cinco de Mayo Today my Friends...  Dawn... The Bohemian