Short Term Greed Of Some = Long Term Disaster Of Many

So, my Unpublished Posts are almost all the way up to my Birthday on the 16th of August now when they will Publish, in Real Time it's only the 28th of July tho'.   That big Storm that loomed in the Morning was dissipated by Noon and only sprinkled, the ominous looking Clouds were threatening but ended up doing nothing at all.  So, my Porches are still Clean.  *LOL*  The Cloud Cover and Coolness disappeared completely by Noon and then it was Sunny but Humid, so much so we didn't stay out very long, you just couldn't, the high Humidity made it like a Sauna out there, it was 110 and you became soaked to the skin in your Clothing, very uncomfortable.

  The Man never got out of the Truck but enjoyed driving around just looking out the open Windows of the Vehicle while it was still nice out, Cloudy and Cooler.  So for a couple Hours anyway he got some Fresh Air. I did some Environmental Cleanup and gleaned a lot of Aluminum Cans, since I hadn't been out doing it in a few days and it's noticeable when I haven't.  I don't think anybody else really does it in most of the places I go.  The River was running fast and high, lots of Baby Fishes too, so it must be Spawning Season.  The Oshun {Deity of Fresh Waters} Offerings were abundant there this day, mostly Yellow or Orange Fruits, Sunflowers and Pumpkins.  I'm Guessing it's brought there regularly by the Yoruba Immigrants, and some of the Santeria Practitioners.  

 It kinda Freaks The Man Out, because he doesn't understand it and wasn't as used to it growing up, in the more insulated Communities he grew up in.  But it doesn't bother me or my Kiddos at all, we're more used to these Practices and Practitioners of it.   The Kiddos and I got more Freaked Out going into his Communities where he grew up and their Practices and Practitioners of Religions we don't understand.  *LOL*  Many of the Fundie Christian Faiths and their Followers tend to Freak me Out much more, same with the White Christian Nationalists... way Scarier and Extreme in their ways IMO.  I've had no problems with the Oshun or the Santeria folks ever and I've lived alongside Practitioners a long time. 

 I Respect their Altars and leave them alone, as I would show Respect to anyone's Faith Based Traditions and Rituals or what they show Reverence for.  It's how I was Raised to.  The Man will ask me to explain what I might know that he doesn't.  Coz he wants no Bad Mojo or Attachments Spiritually, by doing something he shouldn't have, so he's very Respectful, but also tends to not have a broader understanding of other Cultures and what they do or why they do it.  I can't begin to tell you how long it took him to get used to me and mine.  *Ha ha ha*  And when his Missionaries would come to visit him, which they don't do very much anymore, on account of me and mine {Winks}, they would genuinely look quite nervous, but Polite. 

 Imagine if you will if Mormon Missionaries had visited the Addams Family Home, becoz Gomez had once been LDS by Birth, and then ended up Marrying Morticia.   And the extended Family also looks like and is as Quirky as the rest of the Addams Home Inhabitants, because they're just that 'different' than your Garden Variety Residential Community folks.  And she took him over to the Dark Side of Traditions, Rituals and her Practices.   Cara Mia... and he Kisses all up and down my Arm.  *Bwahahaha*  The one Home Help that was most able to embrace our ways without batting an Eye was our African Born Immigrant Nurse Remi and so she Loved visiting our Home and bonded with us easily.  She said our ways were so similar to hers... I've not been to Africa... but... Tribal ways are rather similar Globally in basic ways.  We learned to get along with everyone not like us growing up, coz there were no other people of either of my Parents Cultures we lived around.

I personally enjoyed learning about everyone else's differences in Culture, Cuisine, Traditions, Rituals, ways of Life.  I knew we were very different tho' and some folks didn't like that at all.  So, we also learned where we were Welcome or Tolerated, and where we were definitely NOT.  I do think part of what's going haywire in America now is that some Communities don't want or tolerate any diversity and seek to eliminate it.  They want everyone around them to be just like them only and their tolerance for anyone different than they are is a zero tolerance.  That's not New in America by any means, but now it seems to be escalating.  

More polarized, more aggressive again, more divisive and violently cruel, in the lashing out of those with no tolerance for other Human Beings.  Humans they have biases, Hatred, Prejudices against, for whatever reasons they have for being that way towards other Human Beings.  And now they have an Administration like them they are Weaponizing it against anyone not like them.  They try to justify it with faux Patriotism claims, there's nothing Patriotic about it.  They can have their way of Life in America with the Freedom hard fought for and Won by actual Patriots tho'.  And the Freedom to have your way of Life is what most Americans Cherish most about our Beloved Country.  It is why people have flocked here from Countries where they were Oppressed, Persecuted, suffered Atrocities at the Hands of other Human Beings, Impoverished, Killed for being who they just were, or driven out.  We're becoming like those Countries people flee from, not to.

 

Anyway, enuf of that Gloom and Doom talk.  It puts me in a Sour Mood to Fixate on how America is devolving instead of evolving.  I try to do what improves things around me and make Small Positive Differences. I pulled a large Bag of Aluminum Cans out of Nature this day, so it was a bigger haul than I expected to find, with the Weather being so formidable.   I guess the Piggish People will go out in any kind of Weather and litter, it was evident they had been... mebbe even drinking more than usual.  We had some Storm Damage evident with fallen Trees and busted Limbs, so some areas had considerable Winds ripping thru the area and creating lots of carnage.  The City Workers and Landscape Crews were out there in force with Chainsaws cutting up fallen Trees and hauling away the debris.

I got called in to Work at the last Minute, Brigid was out Sick again and called in just 45 Minutes before her Shift begins, so they were scrambling to find someone to fill it this time.  I agreed, and I live close enuf to make it there before 5:00 p.m..  It was very busy for a Tuesday Night too.  My Friend Yolanda was working, Crazy Ed should have been but he had someone else filling in for him and she had a Nickname that made me think I was working with a Guy *LOL*, Older Lady, very Nice, never met her before.  She'd Raised Four of her Grandkids and the Youngest is 20 like Princess T and the only one still at Home and working while going to Community College.  She wants to be an Astrophysicist so must be a really Smart Young Woman.  She said her Son and the Grandkids Mama were both Addicts and so she had to take and Raise all their Children to get the Kids out of that Situation.

Then my Friend Amy came in, she and her Husband have had bad Health all Year and he's had near Death experiences like The Man has, with his Heart as well.  He's also Retired Military and Amy is originally from the Philippines.  Well, their Youngest Son, whose only 33, and lives with them, was just diagnosed with Cancer!!!   He was in Surgery over 8 Hours next door at the Hospital to remove some of the Diseased Organs.  They haven't been told yet what Stage it is or if it's spread.  He had moved in with his Parents when they got so ill to help them out.  She said he's been Cooking for them, Cleaning for them, doing their Laundry, Shopping for them, looking after their Animals since they too own a Mini Farm but have Livestock... and since she's crippled up with a Bad Back and Bad Hips, so has Mobility Issues now, and her Husband has Heart Issues, he's been a Godsend to them.  She calls him "The Good Son" coz her other Son is The Prodigal Son.

Amy and her DH Above, the Nicest folks and Good Friends.  Three of their Four Kids have been Military too, their Daughter a Navy Officer.  Anyway, I guess her Son didn't even know he was so ill... and he's still so Young.  I had no Words, what can you say?  This is Amy's 2nd Marriage and so this is her Husband's First Son, the Older Son who is the Prodigal, was by her 1st Marriage.  She has Four Kids Total, but I think this Youngest is her Husband's only Biological Child even tho' he Raised all her other Kids as his own.  She said he Cried, and he's a big Tough Guy, so it broke her Heart to see him so devastated.  He and this Son have always had a great Father/Son Relationship.  She said when he was little they had him in the Base Day Care coz they both Worked on Base, and her Husband would spent all of his Lunch Hours there with their Son until he was Old enough to go to School!   Lower Pix is a Younger Amy with her Two Daughters when they were Littles, both are Grown and in the Military now. 

   Her 1st Husband was an American in the Military as well.  She was very Young and Poor, she'd been Raised by her Grandmother, he was much Older and not good to her like her current Husband, who Adores her and a Good Dad to all the Kids.  The Day Care Director told Amy she'd never seen any of the other Fathers do that or be so close to their Child like he was with their Youngest Son.  He's a Good Man and this Son has been so Good to his Parents too.  She's my Friend who Cooks Gourmet Meals for her Husband's Pet African Tortoise, Rex!   I got her into taking Pixs of her Food Porn *LOL*... only with Amy I'm never sure if this is the Meals she's made for the Family... or for the Pets... coz they eat as good as the Humans do!  *LOL*  I want Amy to Adopt me.  *Smiles*  Some of her Food Porn is above, some of it is the Turtle's Meal.   She and I Joke about having Food Porn Pix Wars on Facebook... I'll Post a Pix of my Food Porn and then Amy will Touche' it with better looking Food Porn that she personally made at Home from Scratch... I can't even Compete with that, she Wins Hands Down coz she's a Culinary Jedi and her Food is delicious!  I'm so Hopeful their Son will be Okay.

I thought this Fuggler Birthday Cake that came on my Algorithm Feed was Adorable.  I'm not a Cake eating Person but I thought it was really a Unique Cake and I guess some Husband made it for his Wife's Birthday coz she, like me, Adores Fugglers and Collects them.   I have felt quite Nostalgic lately and I don't know why?   I'm Sentimental but not always really Nostalgic.  I kind of Live in the Present Moment and don't take Look Backs often, but, lately I just have.  Perhaps becoz Life and the State of our Country seems too complicated right now and troubling in so many ways?  I dunno, I just know I've felt a longing for what WAS all of a sudden.  Mebbe it's more common as you get Older, but Today at Work even some of the Younger Employees were talking of the Good Ole' Days... and they're not that Old for those Days to have been as far back as my Good Old Days!!!  *LOL*   Some of them who are in their 20's and 30's have been saying they've been getting so Forgetful, which is early for someone that Young... but they Feel it's coz the Modern World just has too much going on, too much Technology to keep up with, and it's Frying our Brains?   And its too much Data.  They could be Right?

     

One has a New Baby on the way and he said he's forgetting the most Basic Stuff now and it's troubling to him.  He thinks it could be all the Worry and all that we're expected to keep Pace with in these Turbulent and Complex Times?   We got to talking about Memory Care coz I'm getting more Forgetful, but now when Young Adults are telling me they're doing the exact same thing I'm doing as far as Forgetfulness in the same ways, perhaps it's not my Age so much?  *LOL*  Or mebbe we all got a build up of those Microplastics in our Brains now?  *LOL, but Le Sigh, coz they never Warn of us these Dangers until it's all too late and we've been doing it or exposed to it for Years with no knowledge of what they're making that is so harmful!!!*  I highly Suspect in a few short Years to be hearing of the Dangers we suspected all along that Data Centers ARE Causing... but it will be too late by the time the Greedy profiting off of it will expose any of it.  I heard Corpus Cristi is the first Major City already out of Water!  Their Situation is tremendously Grave and will affect over 300,000 Residents... they will run Dry in 2027.  I think Metro Phoenix is close behind them and will affect over 5 Million Residents tho'!  Short Term Greed of some = Long Term Disaster for many.

Above are a couple of Blast From The Past of Eli the Cat when we first got him as a Kitten, with Princess T.  He's so big now I can't even remember him being this Small!   But I should have known he wasn't gonna be an Average Sized Adult Cat coz even as a tiny Kitten he had the largest Paws that didn't match the rest of him!  With Dogs and Cats, the Size of the Paw usually is a pretty good indicator of the Size that Animal is gonna Grow Up to be.   Look at the Size of those Paws of his!  This came up on my Book of Faces Feed too from Several Years ago to remind me of Old Posts, every so often it dredges up some Old ones to remind me and tell me how many Years ago it Posted to FB.  This one I think was Labeled as 5 Years Ago, July of 2021, which sounds about Right.  It helps me to remember how Old the Cat is now.  Easier to remember how Old Princess T is now.   Than how long ago she Begged, Pleaded and Talked me into getting another Cat that her Friend Anthony couldn't keep coz his Aunt ended up being Allergic to Eli!!!  *Ha ha ha and Le Sigh*  She's always had a Cat her whole Life and it had been a full Year since her Old Cat Miss Priss had Died... so I guess it was Time.

 

I keep hearing on the little bit of News I will risk exposing myself to lately that Donnie Two Dolls is getting worse and worse.  That they still haven't verified Proof Of Life for Moscow Mitch either.   I know at local Gas Stations we're up to Four and a Half Dollars a Gallon again.  I'm doing a LOT less Driving on Purpose.  I picked up another Shift for August 7th, from 4-9 p.m. on a Friday Night.  Sales are flat again so I'll need to build up some Comped Space Rent.  The Mall has been really busy but folks are buying the inexpensive stuff mostly and that's not where you make your Money, Selling nitnoid Merch to ensure you make Rent at least coz overhead and costs of doing Business keeps getting more and more expensive too.   We had several Vendors Exiting this Night I Worked and said they don't know if they'll come back and Rent again, or not.  They definitely felt the Summer was a total bust and they just weren't willing to see if this Fall and Winter will improve things with how shitty the Economy is?   One Exiting Vendor had gotten Sick, lost his Job from being so Sick too long and unable to Work, and now has no Health Insurance.  His Dear Wife said she doesn't make enuf to Support them, so they were Scared, and were Older folks, I'd say in their 50's, so not Retirement eligible yet either.

Pretty sure I already Shared this Blast From The Past Pix of me with my Industry Friends Shelly, Punkie and Angela?   I haven't seen Punkie and Angela in Years, since both Retired from the Industry.  Believe it or not, Punkie is almost 80 Years Old in this Pix, she's Ageless.   Shelly still Sells in a Brick & Mortar Shop, but now Shares it with other Vendors.  She used to have Two of her own Stores and I miss them a lot.  She used to do more Shows too and was part of "Sweet Salvage" for Years as well.  But, it gets harder to keep up with it all and so it's understandable she's Downsizing now, Shelly always had the Best Merch, especially Architectural Salvage, and she's Bought a lot from me.   Angela is a Creative Genius so I really miss her OOAK Creations, and her too, such a Kind and Generous Person.   I don't really know why she Retired from doing it all, she was prolific right up until she just disappeared from the Scene and nobody has seen her since.  But, I think she'd been in the Industry for 50 Years Creating things, so, perhaps that was a Wrap and Enough?

*******

Hang in there my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian

Regulated

 Since Princess T has Mondays Off but her Boyfriend Rusty doesn't, she is in a Cleaning and Organizational Manic Frenzy in her Room and gave me a Stacking System she didn't want anymore.  I was in dire Need of another Bookcase Structure and this Cube Unit was perfect and sturdy enuf, so she schlepped it into the Hoarded RV Garage Mahal for me in the Placement we measured to fit it in.  It's like a Rat's Maze and she had to hold the Unit over her Head, in pieces, coz it does come apart, she's like Ant Woman, Tiny but Strong as Hell.  *Smiles*  And she's narrow enuf to fit thru even tight Spaces and Aisles.  And the Unit fit most all of the Books I didn't have Placement for that were needing a Display so I spent the next Hour in the Sauna that is a Non-Climate Controlled Space, putting the Books on it.  The Young Prince isn't done yet with my Cactus Mannequin, but I'm Displaying her anyway for now.

I thought, well, when I'm done, I'll strip Naked and just jump in the Pool afterwards coz it's only The Man and us Gals here at Home on a Monday, The Son is at Work and The Grandson is still in New Mexico.  Then I remembered, just before going Full Monty, oh Fuuuuck, it's Monday!!!  The day they come to Service/Maintain our Pool... and I don't wanna Run the Hawt Owner, Brad, off, like I have his Help, by Traumatizing them with my Old Hippie Naked Body and lack of Inhibitions.  You can't Unsee what you See and they don't deserve that and what their Geriatric Future is gonna look like.  *LOL*  We had to turn our Pump back on coz the Ditch was Flooding and we and our Neighbors had lifted all our Gates but clearly someone Downstream is messing up.

  I don't mind taking on more Front and East Side Yard Water that can be Pumped and monitored, so we're doing that for now so we aren't Flooded elsewhere that we have less Control if the Ditch is at capacity and overfilling.  SRP will be responsible for checking on whoever has messed up and forgotten to Lift their Gates or take on their Water.  Since we got a low distribution during our time allotted this has been somewhat beneficial to us to get the Water we didn't get.  We just turned it off but got another Hours worth of Water in places that were not getting good Water flow during our Rotation Schedule.  Irrigation lately seems impaired by folks Upstream and Downstream lately, but we have a lot of Newbies in the Community who aren't all that familiar with Irrigating.  And as the Community Ages Out a lot of the original Residents who bought in the 1960-1970's Eras have either Sold, Died or passed the Properties to Heirs.

The Daughter is still Cleaning and Organizing, I did a lot too with Princess T earlier and felt very accomplished.  Princess T bought Lunch for us all from "Dragon Garden" which was a nice Surprise.  She's the only one with Money this close to Month's End.  *Le Sigh*  The rest of us are broke and tho' we get our Pensions on the 1st, until then, we are Tapped Out for the balance of July.  I still have to pay my Truck Note, but have to wait 'til Payday to ensure I have enuf to now cover it since replacing the Irrigation Pump used some of the Truck Note Money in the Account, hadda do it, replacing the Pump was an Emergency measure and paying the Truck a few days later than usual should be tolerable without hurting my Credit Score.  I've usually had Paid Off Vehicles before, but now if you buy a Newer one to have the most reliable Transportation in your Old Age, Vehicles cost more than Homes used to!  

Princess T did get all those Cubes into The RV Garage Mahal for me and I got them loaded up with my Books that didn't have Placement.  Now they all have Placement and I'm trying to Purge some of my Library to Resell, since my Books do Sell Well.  I have some duplicates and some I don't want anymore, whatever doesn't Sell I can Trade at "Bookman's" and get Store Credit for Purchases of Books I do want.   I saw another good Movie on a Cable Channel with Nicolas Cage about the World Trade Center called WORLD TRADE CENTER {2006}, also Starring Michael Pena & Maggie Gyllenhaal, it was Emotional to watch even all these Years later, knowing it's based off a True Story and a couple of the Survivors, of which there weren't that many after the Twin Towers went down after those Terrorist Attacks on 9-11.  It's been too Hot to go anywhere so it's still 110 at 6:00 p.m. and we've just busied ourselves Inside with Projects and Relaxing.

In Real Time it's a Tuesday now and looks like a big Storm is brewing but it has Cooled everything off considerably.  The Daughter had swept the Front and Back Porches so they look pristine tho' and that will all be wrecked by a Monsoon Storm, usually a Haboob Dust Storm precedes the Rains and coats everything with a thick layer of Dust and random debris it blows in and around everywhere... Le Sigh.  So, I only get to enjoy my Clean Porches for not even a full Day!!!   And all her hard Work out there will be erased.  It happens.  Especially this time of Year, a lot of hard Work outside is almost pointless when Monsoons will blow shit around too much to make your hard Work even noticeable afterwards.  We do, however, need the Rains coz everything is very tinder and the Fires this Season have been out of control.  They have Fire bans all over but Lightening Strikes will hit where ever they want to and careless or Mentally unhinged Humans also will cause Fires too.

 

Those catastrophic Fires in Cali were caused by a Mentally deranged Human as it turns out.  Some folks are just Twisted like that and they walk among us.  And Vote.  And Breed.  And even some of them may appear to be Normal and not as anomalous or a threat as they truly are.  Animals are generally more predictable as a Species than Human Beings are.  And often not nearly as dangerous.  If you study Animal Behavior it tends to alert you on what to do or what not to do around them, not so easy around our own Species tho'.  I'm a People Watcher, I've always done it, and I take in a lot of subtle nuances that folks do or even what they say.  Since a great many have put up a facade and are disingenuous.  But if you observe them long enuf, most reveal who they really are by their longer term Behaviors and Patterns and out of the abundance of their Heart, the Mouth will eventually Speak.  And Trust that any Predatory Humans are keen Observers of their Prey.

Outside it's definitely the Calm before the Storm out there.  I doubt I will not be driving in it by the time The Son has to go to Work by 8:00 a.m., but I got Princess T to Work at 6:00 a.m. and it was looking ominous out there.  If it doesn't break after dropping him off I may do some brief Environmental Cleanup at the Local Park, haven't done it for Days since the Heat has been extreme very early and the Humidity has been The Devil.  But I might could get the Park in before all Hell breaks loose with Mother Nature?  We'll wait and see, it's only 6:45 at the Moment and he's not even Woke up yet for Work.  I have thought about getting some stuff done if it stays Cooler, in the She Shed coz I wanna paw thru all the Crates in there and make up some Donation Boxes of stuff I'm deciding I won't even bother trying to Sell.  I want to be more Curated with the Showroom and even go in and Purge some Old Stale Inventory that isn't moving.  I want to ramp up the Great Edit & Purge considerably thru the balance of 2026.

I know I've said that often, off and on, more off than on actually, and you're like yeah, yeah, yeah, you always say that Dawn!  But I am determined that I MUST get my Ass in gear for the balance of this Year.  I was very Motivated by that Bookshelf Cube Unit that Princess T gave me to set up for the rest of my Books laying around.  Small Motivation for me often leads to larger Motivation.   And as things get more in Order and Organized with proper Placement, I do get Encouraged and less Overwhelmed, at least for a Minute.  *Winks and Laughs*  Plenty of Time to get Overwhelmed again and less Encouraged, but while I'm feeling Optimistic and Motivated is when I really try to take Advantage of that Rush of Adrenalin and renewed Hope.  *Smiles*  The Daughter getting so much done in a Day also showed me what's Possible.  Princess T too was in Organizational Mode, since now her Room is a Vision and she completely Re-Organized things including her Closet Space.  The Two of them are very Inspirational Workers and Organizers, so I do have a good Team here if I Utilize their Talents.

I'm a good Delegator and Leader, that is my particular Strength.  So, if I have Minions and Followers, I can get an enormous amount done.  *Bwahahaha*   And I am a Leader who is a Worker, and willing to get my Hands Dirty, but if I'm Solo, less gets Done, that's just the long and short of it.  I don't even know Why that is, but I require at least One Person who is my Partner to Maximize my Potential, otherwise it remains Untapped Potential mostly and a whole lot less Motivated and more easily Overwhelmed if I'm an Army Of One.  I can get a lot done by myself, I just don't WANT to and then I just usually don't.  Or, I start and within about 40 Minutes to an Hour, I'm no longer Focused on the Task at Hand that I'm slogging away at all by myself with no Present Help.  I get overwhelmed and discouraged, but mostly, I get inside my own Head a lot about nobody Helping me.  I don't know if any of the rest of you do that?   I know I do and it's why I'd then get in a foul Mood and who wants to spend the Day like THAT... OR around THAT!?  *LOL*  I've been in a Funk and Foul Mood off and on a lot lately.

I usually try to Sleep it Off, which is what I did Yesterday since I felt very Out Of Sorts and went to Bed while it was still Light Outside and didn't Wake Up at all until 5:45 this Morning either.  I didn't eat Supper, I didn't wanna be around anyone, I wanted to be left alone to get back to Center and improve my Mood.   Today I do Feel better and Uplifted again, Regulated.  Which, can and will be my One Word Title Post Hook Today... Regulated.  Controlled, Directed, and Adjusted according to a Rule, Law or Standard... there is a lot of Unregulated shit going on in the World Today and it's cause Deregulation of myself, for damned Sure.  I like to be Controlled, since, I am a Control Freak.   I like to have Direction to go in and I like to Adjust myself to Standards, even tho' I'm not always a Fan of Rules since I'm a Nonconformist in Nature... but I don't like Lawlessness, it leads to rampant Corruption and total Social Chaos and Breakdown.  We're there now in America.  Our Institutions are now in shambles, are Corrupted and Polluted by whose now in Charge of them.  We need to Clean House, and Quickly.

And with the Breakdown of Society, as I'm Observing it in Real Time, it's been hard to remain even Guardedly Optimistic or Hopeful of the Outcome and the eventual Consequences.  I doubt it will be Good.  And I do have Concerns it will become Worse before it even begins to get Better!  I won't even put a Question Mark at the End of that Sentence becoz I'm that fucking Sure it's not gonna be Questionable.  Sadly and Tragically, it's an Exclamation Point for Sure.   And I'm Old now and so I am Doubtful in my Lifetime we'll Regulate Enough.  I have little to no Hope that we can or we will, I Observe People enuf to know that most are not Rebellious, won't make Good Trouble, and will just Go Along with whatever Leadership is in place without any Resistance at all.  Most People are not Activists, they're Pacifists to their Cores and Fearful of Solving Conflicts with anything but Peaceful Choices and tho' that Sounds just better and preferable... it's not always effective against some Adversaries.  Who Mistake Kindness as a Weakness and will take your Doormat you've become and use it as a Club against you.

I will of coarse use up my Arsenal of Negotiating Peacefully, and being Calm, Measured and Nice until you give good reason for me NOT to be anymore.  If I see that any Adversary will not respond to Passive Measures to get along and play well with others... well, then, THEY have Chosen what Adversary I will then become.  But, most folk won't risk anything even when their very Lives depend on them taking a Stand.  Passive Societies are easily Taken Over and Ruled by Tyrants.  They never put up a Fight.  I am more of an Activist and Fighter by Nature coz my Cause is Righteous and where ever any Devil shows up, I Stand my Ground and The Devil will just have to Deal with me.   Devils and Aggressors generally don't Like to have to do that and Move On to easier Victims.

 Most Devils and Human Predators prefer easier Pickin's, they really do.  They want an Easy Mark, Easy Prey, coz there's lots more of those than there are of us who aren't.  And so why expend their Time, Energy and Resources when Easy Prey are so abundant.  Or when going up against someone Stronger and perhaps equally Dangerous, too much Resistance, and will put up a Fight, which has bigger Risks for them, perhaps even Losing?   I may not Win every Fight, and I won't Start one, but you sure as Hell will know you've been Fought Hard and Viciously, so not soon Forget it.  It's Why Donnie Two Dolls grossly miscalculated Iran, it's not Valenzuela, different Culture and Historically he should have fucking Paid Attention.  He did not and so that Devil now has to Deal with what and who he has Foolishly and Ignorantly gone up against.

*******

My advise to all of you is at least put up a Fight... don't just fucking Roll Over, Surrender, and be Easy Prey... Dawn... The Bohemian

When You Have To Stay Awake You Run Right Past The Ability To Sleep

 

The new Irrigation Pump worked very well but the Head of Water we got for this Rotation sucked and some Debris from Upstream clogged some of the Irrigation Ditch that we'll have to clean out later on now.  I Wish folks Upstream would Maintain their Ditches better and pull out their own Debris instead of relying on it being swept Downstream for someone else to do the Work of taking care of it.  Some, like Omar, have covered their Ditches too and if the Pipe gets clogged I don't know how they expect to unclog it?  I don't think covering your Ditch is a Wise Idea, but some folks want that additional swatch of Land to use, even tho' it's not part of their Property really, it's an Easement for Irrigation Purposes.   But, I'm not the Enforcer of everyone doing what they should, but I do Wish they would.  We've all been Grown more than a Minute, so, Act like it!!!

I'm in a Sour Mood coz I'm Tired, Irrigation wrapped up around 2:00 a.m. and after wading around up to my Calves in Cold Water in the Dark, to drop the Gates and then turn off the Pump, with The Daughter's Help, we were both Tired but now totally Awake!  Dammit!  When you have to stay Awake you run right past the ability to then just go to Sleep afterwards.  So, that's my Blog Post Title Hook for ya.  *Winks*  The Son had pissed me off coz he drank too much and got confrontational with his Sister and I, big Mistake coz we doubled teamed his Ass and he finally sulked off to Bed and likely won't even remember he was fighting with everyone and being a Jerk.  He was having a pity party about his Life and wanting to blame everyone but himself for why it's not how he envisioned Midlife would turn out for him.  Boo Hoo... so Cry me a fucking River!  Tiny Violins Playing.  *Eye Roll*

Life isn't how you usually envision it in your fucking Fantasies and Dreams, at any Age!  So, just Deal with it like a Man, like a Grown Ass Adult who can Handle their shit or any shitty Hand Dealt!  My Retirement Years shouldn't look or be like this either!   But I don't drink myself into a stupor to Deal with it and Cope inappropriately to make a Bad Situation even Worse!!!  And I won't coddle him by telling him what he Wants to Hear and sometimes what he Needs to Hear he doesn't wanna Face.  My Friend was like that when she was Living with us for Six Months too.  And finally I'd had enuf of her embracing MAGA to Blame every Scapegoat for her Lot in Life too.   So that she didn't have to look in the Mirror and just Face her Reality and that in part, her Decisions led to much of what wasn't working out so well.  Or that sometimes Life just isn't fucking Fair even if you try to do everything Right, shit will go Wrong sometimes.  It happens.  Suck it up and keep it Moving.

I know, I know, I'm not the most compassionate Soul when someone wants to go all the way to the Basement Emotionally and use Crutches to Cope that just make things even worse for them.  I can't go that far Down to the Basement with you tho', so I'll Get Off on the First Floor and suggest you not go all the way to the Bottom either and Crash.  If that requires you to seek Professional Help to Cope better or sort shit out, then mebbe that should be an Option chosen in your Case?  I dunno, but you gotta either Work that shit out or Walk it out, there's no other way. 

  The Cavalry ain't fucking coming, I know that much about Society and the Government.  Listen, everyone is Dealing with something, and most are out mostly for themselves coz that's all they want to be carrying the Dead Weight or Excess Baggage of lest they Go Down too.   It's not even Personal most of the time, it's just how it is.  Each of us can only Carry what we can Carry and Do what we can Do.

I know in the Morning I'll have another Come To Jesus Talk with The Son about the drinking... again... ad nauseum coz he's an Alcoholic and Alcoholics be doing Alcoholic shit.  And I have zero tolerance for Drunks or Junkies, just don't, I'm glad he got Clean from the Drugs, but he really needs to get Sober from the Drink too IMO.  But, I can't do that FOR him.  I have Friends and Family who are Recovering Alcoholics and Drug Addicts, I'm Proud of each that got and STAYED Clean and/or Sober.  

 But they all know they just can't do that shit anymore or they're back to Square One if they risk their total Sobriety or keep Company with Drunks and Addicts.  It will be a Lifetime Battle and that's just the Reality of it.  I'm glad I never got that Monkey on my Back, I have no delusions it's a tough Row to Hoe if you made the Choice to Drink or Drug and it became your Bane of Existence and Problematic when you got Addicted to Substance Abusing.  Making Excuses for WHY you did matters not coz it's not Helpful.  I rarely engage in anything that is Unhelpful, waste of my Time or Energy and Resources.  I'm too Pragmatic in Nature for such Foolishness.  Never been a Fan of making things Worse instead of Better.  I'd be kicking my own Self in the Ass if I did Stupid shit all the time.

Anyway, other than that everything is fucking Swell.  *Bwahahaha*  I was glad The Son was Wise enuf to back down, under protest, but back down he did Wisely, coz I was ready to come unglued on his Ass and go Mental once I was Triggered sufficiently that I'd had Enough.  His Sister knew I'd had enuf, even tho' he started with her and I'd Mediated that so that he didn't have her go Schizo on his Ass if he Triggered her sufficiently, she was Close To The Edge and came to tell me he was Testing her and she didn't know she wouldn't Snap if he didn't leave her Alone.  That's when he and I had our Moment coz I Needed his Sister to be able to Help me with Irrigation and she'd come Home to do it FOR me, and Clean the House and Tidy Up the Property too, she'd Worked Hard for Two Days now doing all of that FOR me.  She said she's been staying away coz she isn't getting along with her Brother when he's drinking.

And she has somewhere else to go so figures better to do that than to engage with him when he's drunk.  She drinks too and is an Alcoholic, but, she handles her Liquor better than him and rarely gets antagonistic, she can, but she moderates consumption to where she won't, especially here coz she knows how much I HATE drinking or having drinkers around who become under the influence.   I had figured she was staying away due to Mando.  But she said mostly it's coz she doesn't want her Brother getting kicked out coz she felt like he was already screwing up too much and he's been kicked out before when I just can't get thru to him that he's got to fuck up somewhere else.   Be Well and Be Gone if you choose your Drinking over your Family... his Choice.  Last time he got kicked out it was over Using Drugs, he got Clean.  If he needs to get kicked out to get Sober... I dunno?  His Choice again... so he better contemplate this deeply or make other Arrangements.

Listen, if a Grown Ass Adult wants to consume Alcohol I can't stop them, but I don't have to allow them to get Drunk here at OUR Home.  Just go do that somewhere else, wreck yourself where I don't have to see it or Deal with it, I'll Pray you don't self-destruct and Kill yourself doing it.  It's always very Sad when someone is just abusing themselves like that.  I have no Words really.   Used 'em all up already.  Don't wanna feel I'm enabling someone to keep fucking up tho' either.  

 And his Mental Illness will never get better and he resents that, of all of us diagnosed, he's the one who wanted to Imagine he's NOT Mentally Ill really and he resented Medication when he was Younger and quit taking any of his prescribed Meds when he was 18 and wanted to join the Military.  Stupid Recruiters told him if he went off his Psyche Meds for a Year he could Enlist.  He went back a Year later and they determine, No, you can't Enlist after all, you're too Mentally Ill!!!  

 Well, fucking DUH, that's Why he was on the Goddamned Meds!!!   And it was Irresponsible for the Military to tell someone that Young and vulnerable not to take their Medications in order to get the Job!  Then not Hire them after they complied!   And I am quite sure some with Mental Health Issues have been Enlisted, as well as some in Law Enforcement and ICE, coz I see what's unfurling when someone probably wasn't Vetted appropriately and then is given a Weapon and the power and authority to use it. 

 Same with Gun Ownership, just coz you can get a Gun doesn't mean everyone should probably have one if they're not capable of responsible Gun Ownership or aren't Wrapped too Tight and are another Gun Violence Situation waiting to happen!  Just had another one in Seattle at some Festival in fact mowing down a bunch of People attending it... and ICE is Assassinating folks almost Weekly now... it's Spun out of Control with the senseless Gun Violence.  I'm not opposed to Responsible Gun Control and folks having Weaponry they're properly Trained to use and aren't using irresponsibly or Criminally.  I personally don't think I possess the skills to own a Gun, but The Man does and has always used his lawfully and responsibly.  Now he doesn't use them at all of coarse due to diminished capacity to.

And even if folks get their Personal Lives completely in Order, it seems that Public Life right now is in total Chaos and our Government is Circling the Drain and taking the Country Down with it.  I am not even Guardedly Optimistic, I Wish I was and could be about America's Future, but I am most certainly NOT.  We're at a dangerous precipice and going over The Edge quickly under the Leadership that's been Installed... allegedly by Americans who Voted them into Power, so... I have no Words for that Screw Up.

  And if America is Destroyed due to it, well, it's what was Voted for by far too many IMO and I was never in Agreement with any of it and it's certainly never what I personally Voted for.   Those who failed to Vote were as complicit as those who Voted this Train Wreck into Power.   And some are too Proud or Stubborn to admit they fucked up and got Conned.  But, some actually LIKE and are Proud to have Voted it into Being and they are just fucked up individuals no better than who they Voted for then and are devout Cult Members now and perhaps are all a Lost Cause.  I don't know what Redemption they could actually have if they're so far Gone and Lost their Moral Compass and Discernment to Support and Protect what is on the Right Side of History?  But, often folks don't know what they've Lost 'til it's Gone.  Paved Paradise and put in a Parking Lot... {insert the rest of those still relevant Song Lyrics of BIG YELLOW TAXI Circa 1970 by Joni Mitchell, True then, True now!}.

LATER:  So, The Son and The Daughter woke up early to make us Breakfast in Bed.  She's had a Come To Jesus with her Brother about his drinking being out of Control and that Mom is about ready to kick you out if you are out of Control again with it.  He said he knew that, and, I do Hope it doesn't come to that, only Time will tell tho'?  I think he could use some Mental Health Counseling but he's afraid they would insist he be on a Cocktail of Meds again like last time he went for Help.  They did have him on too many and weren't Helping really anyway, then he was drinking along with taking Psychotropics, which could have Killed him and wasn't a Solution, clearly.  Alcoholism can be as fatal a Disease as any and cause premature demise most certainly, the Body can only take so much abuse before it craps out.

Anyway, he's always morose the day after he's had a bender, both Mentally and or with the drink, he Hates himself for being so Unwell.  The Self Loathing is never my intention, Conviction rather than Condemnation is what I want to impart so that perhaps he can overcome at least the dependency upon Self-Medicating.  He'll always be Autistic and Bipolar, he'll always have Adult ADHD, no Cures for any of it.  I've lived with that my whole life, I just didn't Self-Medicate my way thru it nor were Psyche Meds something I could tolerate.

  For me it made things worse so Docs agreed, a low tolerance meant it wasn't Safe for me to be on any and I would just have to Cope without the aide of Medications.  I've done pretty good I think.  *Winks and Bwahahahaha*  Okay, so sometimes I am certifiably Crazy and from what I'm told, can get a bit Scary, but I exercise a tremendous amount of Self-Control and that has been my Super Power apparently.  I am a Control Freak after all, and will have Control over myself.  *Smiles* 

It's why I've Learned to give people advance Warnings when they are stepping in my Waters all Wrong and without an Invitation to come Swimming in them.  *LOL and Winks*  How Strong a Swimmer are you, coz you may be getting in over your Head, so enter those turbulent Waters that only LOOK Calm and Placid, with Great Care!  *Ha ha ha*  Having to Drown a Fool is never my Intention so I'd prefer not to have to and once we make that abundantly clear then usually we'll be doing Okay with each other and I'll remain Dawn of the Light, you'll probably Like me just fine and I make a Loyal and excellent Friend to you.  If I have to go Dark Dawn on your Ass, if you Test me, you are definitely going to meet the side of me you will find to be ruthless and without much pity or Mercy for you.  I don't like that any more than you will, so Calmly asking you to just Be Well and Be Gone before I go Postal and Scorched Earth, is more for YOUR sake than for mine, Trust and Believe.  We don't wanna go and Fall down that Rabbit Hole of Insanity!  *LOL*

The Breakfast in Bed was a Peace Offering, The Daughter has more Street Instincts than her Brother and had known that last Night he was going to have to Be Gone if he insisted on being THAT Unwell around me, or even around her.  But, this isn't her House so she told him that tho' SHE can leave if she doesn't wanna be around him and his nonsense, Mom and Dad can't and won't, nor should we, coz this IS our House and our Rules.  So, abide by them or just voluntarily decide to make other Arrangements.  I won't Judge a person unable to sort out their Demons or Handle their shit, that's for them to go thru Life with and it can be a very Solitary Journey if you run everyone else off and out of your Life.  Crazy Ed at Work said he did as a Younger Man, similar Diagnosis, takes his Psyche Meds now, but didn't back then and was an Alcoholic. 

 He's almost 80 now and been Sober over 40 Years, but it wrecked his Life and he lost everything, Businesses, his Fortune, his Marriage, his Family, before he turned shit around.  And now he's a Lonely Old Man, Sober, but a Day Late and a Dollar Short even with that much Sobriety. I Adore Crazy Ed and he's a really good Friend.  But I told him that if he was still drinking, or ever started, I know we wouldn't and probably couldn't be Friends and he knows this too.  He is always asking how The Son and The Daughter are doing with their drinking? 

  She's as Addicted to the Fire Water as her Brother is, but she Moderates consumption better and doesn't ever drink to get drunk, and therein lies the Key if you can't get Sober.  Moderation in all things, especially if those things could be harmful to you or other people, is crucial.  Excess never is gonna be.  She has her 1-3 Mike's Hard or this new Hard Drink that takes her Edge Off her level of Crazy... and then she can be functional and not end up in a Mental Institution or Arrested.  She's done Better than ever before and that may have to be Enough.

With The Son, last Night, he took me all the way to The Edge.  I was just looking into the Abyss... and about taken to the place to ask him if he had just ONE more of those drinks he was drinking to give himself that much fucking Courage to Challenge me?  Why?  So I could Slam it in front of him and then go to War with him and show him what a Mean drunken motherfucker I could or would be if I drank and see if that made a lasting Impression he would never Forget?  The Daughter was like, Mom, I don't think you should do that... 

But if I thought that was what it would take to make him consider Sobriety Seriously, I fucking would risk it and they both know it.  Coz I don't frankly Care if I Die Tomorrow, I've had a good Run and would have Eternal Peace then, and I have very little Peace now and have done all I can to keep my Calm, keep everyone taken Care of, maintain Control of myself and be the best version of myself.  But, it's a Choice and I could Choose otherwise too... so I want to make that abundantly Clear to even Spawn of mine that choose to be Fools with or around me.

TJ came over to talk to me this Morning, he had to go back to Work for a Septic Company coz his Social Security isn't cutting it with having a Young Wife and New Baby.  He'll likely have to Work 'til he drops now, but, his decision to do all of that in his Golden Years and when he has a lot of Medical Debt coz of serious Illness.  He realizes it but nothing to do but bite the Bullet in his Old Age now.   Men in their Mid-60's and beyond who are still Fathering Children, I don't know what the Hell they're even thinking except succumbing to Carnality?  And that comes at a Price coz Kids ain't Cheap to Raise and the Economy is not being Kind to anyone but the Billionaire Class right now or those engaged in Criminal Enterprises. 

 We talked about Irrigation, we think perhaps the Bad flow is coz someone Upstream is Stealing Water again, it's happened before.  Some take more than they are Assigned and some don't Opt In to Pay for their Annual Distribution Fee, but sneakily take Water they never were then authorized by SRP so aren't allotted for any.  The Water itself is no Cost for Agricultural Zoned Property, but you must Pay the Distribution Fee Annually to participate.   And Stealing Water in a Desert... well... that could get someone in over their Head with their Neighbors, that's for Sure!!!  So, I'd Pity the Fool...

*******

I'm an Insomniac in the Arizona Desert this day... LOL... Dawn... The Bohemian