When Your Brain Goes Offline

 

This Guy was very Happy to have me Home, he ran up to greet me as if his Life had depended on my very existence!  *LOL*   The Man had been misbehaving for the Kids, so while IN the Hospital I had to have a Come To Jesus with him over the Phone, since he was refusing to get out of Bed or Eat for The Daughter and I'd left her "In Charge".  *LOL and Eye Roll*   She said she could tell by Dad's Face that I was reading him the Riot Act, I told him he better Behave for them Kids in my absence, and knock it off, lest he wanna upset me so much I have another fucking Stroke and then Haunt his Ass from beyond the Veil!!!??   *Winks*   She said after that he was still very Sad and Scared, and wanting me to be Home, but Behaving as he should.  *Smiles*  With the TBI and Dementia if his Routine changes or I'm not there, he discombobulates. 

Princess T was trying to hold it together for her Mom and be Helpful, but when I saw her Care Bear lineup in her Room when I got out of Hospital, I could tell she had been really Stressed Out and it had kicked her OCD and Anxiety into overdrive.  She wouldn't come see me in Hospital coz she felt she'd start Crying and didn't wanna upset me or make me think she thought or was acting like I wasn't gonna make it.  *Awww and LOL*  They didn't bring The Man either when they came to visit me since he said he couldn't do it either and managing him if he went to pieces or didn't feel Safe, would have been too much to take that Show on the Road either.   I kept in Touch with him by Phone, so he'd feel updated on my condition and not left out of the Loop or Patronized.  As his Spouse, if it had been him, I'd want to know what's really going on and not have it kept from me.

When I got Home I was finally able to download my Eye Candy Images from the last Christmas "Highland Yard Vintage" and "Sweet Salvage" Events of the Year.  I got lots of Blog Fodder, including the heavier stuff happening, lots of fluff and Eye Candy too, so, it will be a mixture of both.  I have to rest, take it easy and rehab myself now so I'll have more Down Time here at Home in front of the PC Screen to be happily Blogging.  I think it's good for my Brain to be challenged with composing and creating Posts.  If it has to be rewiring itself and compensating for any Brain Damage, I want to do all I can to challenge myself Mentally and Cognitively to keep improving and regaining function.   Since Friends had seen me AT the Event the very same Day as I had The Stroke just Hours later that Afternoon at about 5:00 p.m. while making Chili, it seemed surreal to them.  It always does when you just saw someone and then a Crisis happens to them.

I had been Sick just after Thanksgiving and had to go to the ER, as you might remember, but it was separate from this recent Crisis, but, has impacted our entire Holiday Season.   You can't Time Crisis, they happen when they just happen.  Every time I heard a Life Flight coming in while Hospitalized, it made me Thankful that my own Health Crisis wasn't nearly as severe as whatever theirs was right before Christmas!   And when I'm hearing what's happening Globally, in the Atrocities committed in Germany that Killed 5 and injured 200 innocent Christmas Market Shoppers by an Extremist... and the Genocide and Ethnic Cleansing still ongoing in Gaza, it just breaks my Heart that so many Innocents are being Lost and how "Normalized" such things are quickly becoming.   No Human Beings should be Targeted for such Atrocities and Human Rights Violations against Humanity, no matter what the "Cause" is that the Perpetrators of those Acts use as an excuse or justification.  

What is happening is deeply disturbing, here and abroad, it troubles me and I do think it's going to worsen and not get better any time soon.  I really don't know what would change the Calculation?   Even if you are not the one doing Wrong, if you are Supporting it in any way or doing nothing about it, you are complicit.   And it just seems ambivalence, indifference, lack of Accountability, and even Support of Inhumanity, Cruelty, War Crimes and Lawlessness, is so high Globally, that I have no Words.  At this Holy Season we Celebrate, when Goodwill and God's Love should be evident, I'm just not seeing it being dominant anymore and I find that beyond alarming.   Everyone will eventually be Touched by it once it spirals completely out of Control and a Foothold of it becomes a Stronghold of it and Acceptance of it is dominant.   Behavior Accepted is Behavior Tolerated.   And there is never, ever, a Good Excuse for Bad Behavior IMO.  And I know I Rage Against The Machine here, but, it has to be said and not Silenced or we're doomed as a Species or as a Civil Society. 

 

Yes, I too do Escape into The Fluff of Life in order to remain Centered and add it to my Posts with regularity.   Along with the Heavy stuff, Yes, we do need the Balance of some Lighter stuff too.   I do think having a Close Call recently has given me more of a sense of Prioritizing everything and anything.  Not that I didn't Prioritize things before, I always have, but, when your Mortality is suddenly making you reckon with it, shifting some Priorities will definitely happen.   Some stuff isn't so important and you realize it and put it on a back Burner for now and bring more important things to the forefront.   Stakes are that high right now and anyone who Imagines they aren't are either in Denial or don't take Real Threats Seriously.   If anyone Threatens me, I Believe it, to not do so is at your own peril.   I don't feel so Weakened by what happened to me to not Resist what is fucked up right now in America.

And it's pretty fucked up before this Authoritarian incoming Regime even gets installed.  He's already now threatened Canada, Panama and other Sovereign Nations like Greenland that he wants to "Acquire" them, WTF, and tho' some might Imagine he's Joking, I don't... it's very Putinesque in Nature.   And when Putin threatened Ukraine Three Years ago, he meant it too, and he also doesn't intend to stop there if he is allowed to prevail.   Germany's Government has already collapsed... do we really want America's to be next?   Even when a bad Government collapses or implodes, like it has in Syria, it leaves a Vacuum and a Void that often is exploited and filled by factions that are really dangerous and seize the opportunity of the instability and the collapse, so there are concerns when any collapse happens.   So many Guardrails are now gone here in America now, that, anything is possible and quite a lot of it isn't good at all.  Depravity has been Normalized and it's NOT Normal, it's abhorrent.

Okay, Vent for Today over... stepping down off Soapbox.  *Winks*   I don't mind being involved in what John Lewis called Good Trouble, it's always been necessary if you want to stand up and have the courage to Stand For what is Right, Just and Humane.   Anyway, I'm still as Militant as ever I guess, part of my Brain going Offline didn't seem to change me very much at all.   I was pleased to realize I can Type as fast as ever, so it didn't affect that cognitive function either.  *Whew*  So, Blogging is still easy, both in my Stream of Consciousness and in my ability to do all of it.  I'm really happy about that since this is one of my Happy Places and a Creative Space I've enjoyed now for well over a Decade.   My Grandson, The Young Prince, was 9 when he told me about what a Blog was, thought it would be something I'd enjoy and be good at, and set this up for me... and the rest... is History.  He's 24 now. *Smiles*

 

Princess T has been working on her Annual Gingerbread House all Week and finally finished.  Usually she gets it done quicker, this Year she took her Time and it shows in her attention to details.  We'd bought some extra Candies to go with the Kit and I'm particularly impressed this Year with her skill at making Icing Icicles.   I'm just glad she's Old enuf now not to need me to help her make a Gingerbread House, for some reason I never liked making them.  As a Creative Soul one would have thought I'd like making them, but, surprisingly I loathed it and so the Tradition and Ritual Princess T always Loved wasn't something I looked forward to.  *LOL*   Her Brother would often take one for the Team and help her make one.  I just felt that since my Heart wasn't in it, the results would show it and I didn't wanna ruin her outcome.  She always does a good job of it, but when Younger, needed assistance.

The Daughter is still making great strides in The RV Garage Mahal Gauntlet.  We know eventually The Young Prince will be back and helping her too.  The dilemma right now after me having a Stroke is, I had intended to take a Bus to New Mexico and help him load up a U-Haul and I'd drive it back to bring him and his possessions Home.   Now my Niece, who lives in Oklahoma, is floating the Idea that if we pay for it, she'd just do that for us and just stay a while with us like a mini Vacay and Couch Surf.  She Works from Home so has the ability not to have to be any place in particular to do her Job.  It would be so Helpful if she could go get him coz they get along fabulously and it would be a Road Trip they'd both enjoy doing together under even the difficult circumstances of his estrangement and eventual desire to Divorce his Husband.  She's Gay too and Single, so has a better understanding of the pressures he's endured with Society and in the area they both live being rather Homophobic.

Moving from a rather Liberal Urban area like Phoenix where it's pretty much a Non-Issue to be part of the LGBTQ+ Community, to a more Rural Conservative area so close to Texas, which is radically Homophobic, has been very hard.  Allen can 'pass' for being a Macho Straight Guy becoz he's very Masculine in appearance, habits and his 'Gay' doesn't show so much in most situations.   The Young Prince however is Fabulous, Feminine, and can't fly under anyone's Gaydar, so, he's always endured much more discrimination and Homophobia to the point it's been dangerous to be who he is in numerous situations.  He's been assaulted numerous times before since he's Trans and the violence against Trans Men presenting as Female or even appearing Female when they present as Male, is very high.   Just like violence against Females is, Trans Men suffer many of the same Crimes that Women do.  So, I do fear for his safety and would rather he live closer where he is protected by a Community that Loves and knows him.

 

Even when we lived in Da Hood, one time when he was 12 Years Old a group of Homophobic Grown Men jumped and beat him so badly he required Hospitalization.  Had it not been for some of the Gang Kids of our Barrio who'd grown up with him, and were tough and protective of anyone from our Community, including him, it might have been far worse.  But they came to his rescue and fought the Grown Men and brought him Home and we called Police.  But, Law Enforcement by and large doesn't protect the Gay Community or Care that much, often they've been the perpetrators of Homophobic Violence and beatings, and that has been the case with the Grandson having that experience with some Cops too.   

So, the Police did nothing about the violent assault of a Gay Hispanic Child and at the time I worked for the DA's Office and filed a formal Complaint about it.  I didn't expect results or change, but, I'm Militant about Injustices in Society, all of them, and particularly if it involves me and mine.   You don't change the way things just are tho', so we had some Street Justice thus meted out to those Homophobic Assholes... Problem Solved, retaliation, especially in Da Hood if you mess with the wrong people, can be a real Motherfucker.  It was a bad day that day to be the Homophobic Grown Male Assholes willing to gang up and viciously beat a Gay Twelve Year Old Child.  They got what was coming to them.  

And, they didn't dare report it either coz there could be more where that came from and they wouldn't know who from Da Hood would be paying them a visit if they were getting anyone in trouble as the Payback they deserved.  I was just told on the Streets, the Problem had been taken care of, I'm sure it was.   And this is Why some Communities don't rely on or Trust the Police, if they're not Protecting and Serving those Communities adequately and are showing bias and contempt for the Citizens of those Communities.  If you've never experienced that disparity and how tiered and discriminatory The System can be, I wouldn't expect you to understand and might stand in Judgment of those Communities and how they handle their Business.  Some Business must be handled some kind of way and if Police refuse to do their Job to see Justice is Served, depending on who you are or where you live, this is why things don't Work as they should and Trust is eroded and confidence in those Communities is lacking.

Anyway, this is Why the Grandson doesn't like Clovis, NM, he doesn't feel particularly Safe there and so I don't even want him there.  Especially if his relationship doesn't feel Safe to him either anymore and he doesn't feel protected or feels vulnerable.   If something happened to him, Heaven Forbid, I'd go on the fucking Warpath and I know this.  It would become my Obsession to Solve that Problem and I'd be Fixated about it as long as I had Breath in me.   So, it's just best that he come Home and wants to.   The Niece and his Mom are contacting him to lay out the Plan and Princess T will fund it until I can pay her back, so, we got it all logistically covered.   I'd have more of a Peace about him having all this behind him and be in a Safe Space to just do Life on his own Terms without fears.   It's less Stress for me actually to have everyone Safe and knowing we can all Help one another and Solve our own Problems among ourselves.   Family is everything to us.

 

The Kids are taking good Care of me since I got Home and stepping up, they're helping out even more with The Man and he's settled now I'm Home.  He was Sad and Scared while I was away Hospitalized, now he feels more Secure and that things are gonna be Okay.  He sees I've made good progress and am not all fucked up Post-Stroke, which, I ain't gonna Lie, was a relief and also a concern, Strokes are no Joke and Recovery from them can be a long Road of Rehabilitation that isn't always complete and full.   I'm on Three more Meds to prevent another one and will be fitted with a Monitor when I go in to see the Cardiologists.  I've got the Cardiology Appointment to get fitted for the Monitor scheduled just after Christmas.  The Neurology Appointment is Mid-January, he didn't need to see me right away since they are pretty sure my Heart is more the Issue than my Brain.  I know, that's Funny, coz... well... MY Brain.  Even before Stroke damage. *Bwahahaha*

I just got Word from The Daughter that her Son talked to her and knowing Gramma just had a Stroke he feels that he doesn't want to add burden and will just work on shit with Allen right now.  Allen, knowing my Health tanked, doesn't want to make things worse, so is also willing to do what it takes that they work out their own Issues amicably and without burdening us with taking on any of it right now.  He did Promise to Support his Husband and take Care of him, and getting Married wasn't a casual Commitment to do that.   So, I'm glad both of them are Manning Up and exhausting all of their options before sending The Young Prince back to be Cared for by us.    So, even delaying all that, so long as he feels Safe doing it, is something that I'll let him decide as a Grown Man working out his Problems to the best of his ability to.   He and Allen can Live Separately in the same House and be civil to one another.

I do think Allen feels it is easier being in a relationship with a Woman, he's Bi, so he has that Option that is agreeable to him.   The Young Prince really doesn't Care, Monogamy isn't even important to him so much as Honesty and Trust, which was broken when Allen was cheating and hiding it.  I do think due to Allen's Family, he has always struggled with not being Straight becoz it wasn't embraced or acceptable in the Culture he grew up in, with the Fundamentalist Christian Family he has.  When Praying the Gay away doesn't work for their Belief System, they usually don't know what else to do except forsake their Gay Children as being Sinners with no Redemption.   Society and rampant Homophobia hasn't Helped either.  Any form of Hatred and Cruelty to me is an abomination and goes against what I Believe Spiritually.  Self Righteousness is also never Pretty.

I think that's Sad and Callous to throw away your own Child becoz of who they are, but, it's not my brand of 'Religion' that advocates for such inhumane treatment of another Human Being.  To me Inhumanity towards any other Human Being for any reason is more of a Sin and Ungodly, IMO, it's of the Devil and not of God.  It certainly doesn't bear Good Witness for Christ or the God they claim they Serve.   Anyway, I had been encouraged somewhat during the Wedding of the Grandsons, to see Allen having some reconciliation with his Parents, who I do like and think are good People, who just have Religion dictating a lot of things they probably feel somewhat conflicted about.  I think they do Love their Son, but they know their Churchy Friends and Congregation condemn their Son being Gay and even many had trouble with him being Autistic.  Forms of Mental Illness also get much discrimination in Society and endure bias and misunderstanding and alienation.

His Mom is an esteemed Doctor and his Stepdad a Principal at a High School, so they're well educated people.  I do think his Mom realizes that how her Son is has no 'Cure', has made relationship with and raising him difficult, and some Families really do struggle with all that more than others.  Depending upon their point of view about Mental Illness and/or being Gay, some Families want a "Solution" that will make Life less hard for them and for their Child.  But, let's face it, for some Hands Dealt Life will just be hard.   Any marginalized Community realizes that Reality, every Person of Color realizes they cannot protect their Children completely from Racial discrimination and Racism either, it exists, it always has, probably always will.   Since Allen is Bisexual, he could have an easier Life with a Female Wife, that's just a Fact of how our Society still is.  He could also have a Family easier and he wants one.   Whereas the Young Prince has no interest in being a Parent, he is Aware he's not Well enuf to be an adequate or even a fit one.

The Young Prince has told me he's Loved Women before too, he's Pansexual, doesn't really care about Gender of who he Loves, it's irrelevant to him, along with the Roles Assigned by Society regarding Gender.   But, he also knows most Women he's ever known want Children and he doesn't, and of coarse it takes a Man and Woman to conceive a Child, so, he never wanted that risk.  Plus passing along hereditary factors of serious illnesses, whether Physical or Mental, isn't something he ever wanted to feel responsible for either.   Right now Princess T feels the same way, plus, she doesn't Like Kids very much anyway.  *Bwahahaha*   No, it's funny, she gets more annoyed at Kids acting up than Old People seem to, which is hilarious to me, I can Read her Face when we're in Public and some Kid is acting the Fool!  *LOL*

Anyway, they've both told me that since we already have more than enuf Great-Grandchildren, and probably many more to come from their respective other Older and Younger Siblings, we don't need any more, and they don't plan to give us any.  *Bwahahahaha*   The Force always crack me up, they don't Sugar Coat anything, I Wonder WHO they got that from?  Humnnnnn, lemme think!?  *Bwahahahaha*   Anyway, everyone is circling the Wagons right now to be supportive of one another and just work things out in the best ways possible for right now.  We can always adjust things later to make it better.   And now, let's talk about the Elephant in the Room, what happens when your Brain goes Offline?

Do I feel differently than I did BS? {Before Stroke, ASS meaning After Stupid Stroke... and Yes, BS and ASS were intentionally chosen, Winks}  So, Yes, I do feel different and am aware of what's not Online yet in my Brain and has to be compensated for as my Brain reboots.  Right now I do have some Buffering going on in there sometimes.  Compensating for the Sight Loss in my Right Eye has been easier than I expected, it's coming back but doing some very Weird shit.   There are Lights like Sparklers and things coasting by my Eyeball that seem like some Odd Video Game going on behind the Scenes in my Head/Optics?  *LOL*  After over 48 Hours of experiencing it now I'm adjusting well, tho' it is annoying as fuck.   So, I do Hope it eventually self-corrects.   No Promise it will, but I won't Receive that it won't, I Believe anything is Possible and it's only Impossible until someone does it.

I'm Walking better and without as much halting becoz of the PT folks telling me to turn my Head more to the Right to compensate for the peripheral limitations I'll have until my Eyesight fully returns and works properly.  When you've got an involuntary Video Game of Characters of Shadows and Light moving around in your Optics, it's quite distracting and hard to just learn to ignore.   Many of the Daughter's Hispanic Friends keep coming by with Freshly made Tamales so I don't have to Cook, Bless them.   If they don't make them their Parents or Grandparents are when they heard of my Stroke.  That's how the Latino Communities I've lived in always have been, they show up when you're going thru Trials of Life.  I prefer living in Barrios for that reason even tho' I'm not Hispanic.  My Son and some Grandkids are, but, not being Hispanic has never meant I've not been considered worthy to be Inclusive and embraced by the Hispanic Community around us.  

By contrast, living in Affluent predominantly White Affluent Subdivision Hell in the Villa McManse, that Community wouldn't Piss on you if you were on Fire.   And most especially if you didn't look or live just like them.  But, Honestly, they didn't act like a functional Community towards each other either IMO.   Seems the more Affluent often will throw one another under the Bus at the first sign of Trials of Life or to further their own Agendas.   A very Transactional Community and what they Valued more than People was Money and Things, it showed.  I didn't like that nor did I feel they were my Tribe of Humans, so, we didn't belong there, didn't particularly want to, glad to have Moved Out and Moved On to a Tight Knit Community of People we Love and who make Good Neighbors.   That is Priceless.

 

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While my Brain has gone Offline a bit for a while, bear with me as my Posts might not be quite up to par yet... I'm a Work in Progress... but then again, I always was *Winks* ....  Dawn... The Bohemian 

BS: Before Stroke ~ ASS: After Stupid Stroke

 This Post will be in sequence from before Hospitalization and After and refer to BS and ASS referring to Before Stroke and After Stupid Stroke.  *LOL*  Written The Day Before Hospitalization:  I'm still Blogging becoz I still CAN so far and it's Calming to me to know I can still put Sentences together and Mentally be coherent for now!  *Whew and LOL*   I'm currently waiting on my Doc's Office to give me follow-up instructions on what to do if I've had a Mini Stroke... or Bell's Palsy... or whatever the fuck they never bothered to even have me get to see a Doctor at the ER for last Night in all the Hours I spent there in Crisis!!!  I don't know what else to do... I dunno, has it already morphed into a Soylent Green Moment with the American Medical System... or The Purge... even before they install RFK, Jr. to make it even worse?!

I have no Idea if I even have Brain Cells Dying as we speak?   So, if the Post gets as Weird to Read as I currently Feel, with impaired Vision in One Eye, my Headache feeling like it could explode my Head like a Melon and affecting both sides now, and numbness on my Right Side, well, could be some Dead Brain Cells causing it?!   *LOL*   I can't help it, Gallow's Humor sustains this Family and we find Humor in the most unlikely shit imaginable, especially when Reality seems so damned Surreal you couldn't make this shit up!!!   Dying has never bothered or scared me, but, just being so fucked up I can't Care for myself or my Loved Ones isn't an Option I want to contemplate, Okay?  We aren't among the Elite so it would just mean being totally fucked.

But, Christmas is in just a few Days now and I refuse to fuck that up forever for my Loved Ones by dropping Dead suddenly right AT Christmastime!    I petitioned The Lord some time ago to allow me the privilege of Dying in my Sleep, and so last Night I was totally ready if that happened tho' as my Fate, since, the whole ER Fiasco wasn't the least bit Helpful.   But, I did Wake Up, feeling much the same as I had before I went to Sleep.   I even drove Princess T to Work with instructions that if I told her to take the Wheel, and learn to Drive on The Fly, that would just have to happen.  There's really nobody else on the Road as early as she has to go to Work on their Holiday Early Schedule, so, it's pretty deserted and half a City Block away.

She's Calm about almost any Medical Crisis since her Grandpa has had them nonstop her entire Life and we've always had to Deal with it ourselves.  The Medical Community gave up on him after his Catastrophic Accident, but we didn't.  So that Kid would Dream Up ways to Rehabilitate her Grandpa and keep him among the Living.  He now Jokes that this Family would never LET him Die.  *Bwahahaha*  And so now we Move to The Hospitalization and After Hospitalization part of the Post.  My Doc told me to go immediately to a better Hospital she referred me to, which is right by our Antique Mall, so still pretty close to Home.  The Daughter came with me and tho' they were slammed busy for a Friday too, with numerous Life Flights coming in back to back, they took my Stroke Symptoms Seriously at Abrazo Hospital, unlike Banner Hospital.

It took 'til almost Midnight to get me a Bed coz they were full, but, they were giving me Treatment before I got a Room and running Tests and such, had several Docs from Neurology and Cardiology Assigned to me.  Everyone was wonderful there and I felt I was getting Quality Care.  They Admitted me and determined, Yes, I'd had a Stroke, on the back Left Quadrant of my Brain.  It could have been Life Threatening and so they were appalled at how the other Hospital had neglected me and not taken it seriously, it could have cost me my Life.  As I waited for a Room I was in a Hallway where I couldn't believe how many shackled Patients were there from DOC {Dept. Of Corrections} and there were more huge Security Guards, Police, and DOC Personnel there than Hospital Staff!!!

Made me think all the Hard Cases were perhaps feigning Medical Emergencies to get a Christmas in the Hospital, I dunno?  *LOL*  Anyway, I got a Private Room in the Stroke Section of the Hospital which was filled up coz Stroke Alerts kept coming in all the time with ETA's and apparently you had to wait for another Stroke Patient to be discharged or Die to secure a Bed!   Lotsa folks Stroking Out at the Holidays I guess, so, I wasn't feeling like The Lone Ranger.  *LOL*   My Physical Therapists and Doctors were amazed at how quickly my Brain seemed to be compensating for the damage caused by the Stroke.   I joked that I've never had a Normal Brain anyway, so, it probably won't behave like most Brains they treat?  *Bwahahaha*  They thought that was hilarious, but I was Serious, the ADHD and Bipolar Brain is Hard Wired differently anyway.   *Smiles and Winks*

So, they were surprised I was able to compensate for the Vision Loss quickly and regain some of it back, Walk again without Assistance, the slight drooping of my Mouth self-corrected within 48 Hours to where it's barely noticeable now.  My Face no longer feels like the Right Side of it is sliding off and the Headaches began subsiding dramatically too.  The Pain in my Head when the Stroke hit was massive and couldn't be relieved for about 30 Hours or so.   I won't take strong Pain Meds and insisted on only Tylenol, I can Power thru Pain, but don't want to mess with any Opiods.   So, I kept thinking upon what my Dad always Taught me that Pain is merely a figment of your Imagination and you can Override it Naturally, which I did, and eventually it just quit hurting.  I have a LOT to Live for and Family N Friends kept me Reminded of that Fact... so, nobody was ready for me to Cross Over just yet.  *LOL*  Images of Great-Grandbabies with Granddaughter Mamas poured in to my Feed.

I did Post on Comments here and on my Book Of Faces Page while Hospitalized since the outpouring of concern and well wishes was so Touching.   I Thank everyone for the positive vibe, Prayers and concerns.  I had the Kiddos take some Hospital Selfies so you could see I was still among the Living and we still were activating our Gallow's Humor.  *Winks*   The Docs and Nurses said they Loved me coz I kept them all Laughing and was Cheerful in spite of having had a Stroke.  Well, it wouldn't be Helpful to be Sour or Salty, so, I chose to be Cheerful, why not?  Laughter is like a good Medicine, my Scripture tells me so.   My one Cardiologist is Dr. McDreamy Drop Dead Handsome... and, mebbe it's my Age, but why do all the Docs now look so Young and Doogie Howserish to me?  *LOL*

Note to Incoming Administration:  Damned near all the Best Doctors, Nurses and Physical Therapists in America are now Immigrants, so I do Hope they don't plan to deport them all too?   Seriously, damned near all my Wonderful Nurses and Doctors were from India, Poland, Africa, the Philippines, and other Eastern European Countries, very few were Home Grown Americans.   Just sayin', that when you bash our Immigrant Populations you probably have no idea how much they contribute to our Society as a Collective in important ways that would create such a vacuum and void should they not be here.   I was released by late Sunday Afternoon, but what I didn't know was that Medicare Advantage had called my Home and told my Family that since it was my Brain damaged, they could keep me longer if the Family felt they couldn't be ready to receive me yet?!   *Bwahahahha*

Well, The Family thought that was hilarious and told Medicare, well, SHE is The Caregiver here, so... *LMAOROTF*   Anyway, I was more than ready to come Home for Christmas.  As wonderful as my Caregivers at the Hospital all were, their Beds there were trashing my Back after Day No. Two!!!   I don't think I could have tolerated a 3rd Day in that Bed, my Back was hurting as much as my Head.  *LOL*    The Kiddos had brought me some Contraband of DQ since I was craving a Java Chip Blizzard, The Son was too nervous to bring it up without approval, so, they told him it would be okay.  They did have me on a pretty strict Diet coz Post Stroke my A1C had gone up to 8, it had been at 7 or lower for some time now so that sucks.  Now I'll have to work on that again.  I'm on 3 more new Medications ASS... so I feel like the Gramma on the Comedy Movie "Gramma's Boy" {2006}... where the Gramma's Meal was a Plate full of her prescribed Pills made into a Happy Face on her Plate!   *LOL*  {See Above}

Even Lifelong Friends of my Adult Kiddos who call me Mom were telling their Employers they might need to leave Work coz I might take a bad turn.  Most people don't know they're not ALL my Kids, so... *bwahaha*  It kept my Spirits up to know everyone was well wishing me a speedy Recovery.   So many Post-Stroke Patients were NOT doing well, so I seemed to be the only Success Story, and it did make me feel exceedingly Grateful since the Brain Scans had not been so good and they also feel I do have a Heart Anomaly, that I might have always had and just didn't know it.  So, I will be under the Care of Cardiologists and Neurologists for After Care.   Tho' the Physical Therapy Team felt I didn't need them, I was progressing so well on my own.  I have had lots of Practice with Self-Rehabilitating The Man after his Traumatic Brain Injury, which had a far grimmer prognosis, so, I Got This.

And I'm glad that my Cognitive Function is pretty good so I can still Blog and shit.  *Winks*  That would have been terrible.  *Bwahahahha*   Anyway, I'll end this ASS Post with a Trio of Pixs from the Trio of Granddaughters in Mexico...

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Up by Faith and knowing it will Hold my Friends... Merry Christmas from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

President Elon... Bell's Palsy Or Mini Stroke... A Crisis Christmas

 We'll get to the Topic of the Post Title Hook later in the Post as to whose gonna be Calling The Shots come January.  Management tried to get me to Work Two more Shifts, but I have too much on my Pre-Christmas Calendar right now to accept either one, so, had to decline.   Plus, this close to Christmas, I really am not interested in Working too much and missing out on spending Holiday Time doing Fun stuff instead.  They just don't comp us enuf Space Rent to make it worthwhile to forfeit that Time with our Loved Ones during the Holidays.  Even if they increased what they comped us dramatically, to only being equivalent to Minimum Wage per Hour comped, I wouldn't do it.

Anyway, Sales are still shit and it's only Six more Days 'til Christmas and the Antique Mall closes early on Christmas Eve and is closed on Christmas Day.  So, really only 5.5 Days to Sell what we can to the Christmas Buying Crowd.  We're having no more Trade Stimulators or Sales between now and then, even tho' most other places are, so we're not even being competitive to draw Customers in and make our Mall a Destination.  My Social Security Check finally hit, but my DA Pension hasn't, for the past Two Months both have posted Late, I know not Why?  One is Federal, One is State, and so that always makes me nervous about what's going on?

The Man and I did go out Wednesday and do Environmental Cleanup.  Sad to see how much Garbage in huge Bags was dumped in the Nature Preserve by the Environmentally Unconscious, I don't know who the Hell they think is gonna go behind them and clean it up?   We only do the Aluminum and you'd need a Commercial Sized Garbage Truck to haul off that much illegal dumping.   A Cyclist stopped and Thanked The Man and I for what we're doing, he was disgusted at how much he sees illegally dumped and littered on his Bike Rides.  We told him how often we do it and how much of just Aluminum we haul off each time, 20-50 lbs. a Day usually!

It did get up to 80 Degrees as The Man had said the Weatherman Predicted.  So it was Beautiful and Warm out there, the Air Quality was good for a change, and Nature was really therapeutic to be out and about in.   I got our Laundry done and the Housekeeping is caught up coz The Daughter has really been on it, she actually likes Cleaning and Housekeeping... she didn't get that from moi.  *LMAO*  I'm sore and I don't really know why, it's not like I did a whole lotta strenuous physical activity, but I sure Feel like I have!!!  I'm looking forward to my Event in the Morning, they should still have Christmas Vignettes and they will be doing Giveaway Gift Basket Drawings each of the Four Days of the Event.  I only plan to go on Opening Day Thursday Morning, probably will leave around Noon, so it's just a Morning outing for me.

 

The Cribbed Images I took of their FB Page shows a very muted Christmas evident, I did expect more, so, we'll see?   With Christmas being so close perhaps they feel nobody will be still Buying Christmas Decorations?   I do know when we went to TARGET the other day they were already pretty much Sold Out of all things Christmas in their Line, the shelving was looking quite bare already.   The same could be said of our closest Wal-Mart, even Sourcing some Christmas Gift Bags proved to be lean pickin's, tho' we did Buy some we really liked with a Grinch and Snoop Dogg Line of Gift Bags.  But, we got the last of them they had at that location, I'd speculate by now there's none left?  So, we're glad we got everything bought that we needed to get everything under the Tree and Wrapped up.

One of the Granddaughters in Pittsburgh has sent some more precious Pixs of the Great-Grandkid duo, above and below is the Youngest, a Girl.  She seems to be a very Happy mellow Baby whose always Smiling or looking Serene, and has a Positive countenance.   She's also quite Photogenic and clearly Loves being in front of the Lens.   So the Granddaughter is getting some very Candid Pixs of her.  Now, the Older one, the Boy, not so much, he's clearly quite a Rascal and prone to Photogenic Meltdowns and being a blur in front of the Lens.  She's got her Hands full with that one.  *Smiles*   She was like that as a Kid, so, he's likely what I like to call "The Payback Child".  *Winks*  Yep, for all of us that were High Maintenance Children, we got at least One or more of "The Payback Child".  *Smiles*

And, the Santa Breakfast Pix below, clearly shows the countenance differences of each Great-Grandchild.   She looks very content to be sitting with Santa, and I don't know who looks unhappier, Santa or The Great-Grandson?   *Bwahahahaha*  Of coarse it's always the Pixs like these that are the most Cherished in Years to come and give everyone a Giggle in hindsight.   Yep, these are the Meltdown Photos you drag out in the Future to embarrass the Difficult Child.   Even if, in the Moment, it can disappoint whoever Envisioned the Perfect Holiday Picture to send out to everyone in the Christmas Cards.  *LOL*   I must say, that the Santa Pixs coming out of Pittsburgh of the Great-Grands with Santa, have had me rolling, becoz they are mos def the Saddest Santas I've seen in a very long time!  Remember the other one with the Weekend At Bernie's looking Santa with a Great-Grandbaby on his Lap?  *Winks*

  

 This Santa does at least still look Awake or among the Living, but he doesn't look like this has been his most favorite Gig either.  *LMAO*  In fact, I think I'm Nicknaming him Serial Killer Santa, becoz, well, just LOOK at him!!!   No Wonder the Great-Grandson is crying his Eyes out, that's one Scary Santa!!!  *Bwahahaha*   Below is the most recent Pix Shared of their Mama, clearly going thru a Divorce is agreeing with her, she's not looked Happier and more Beautiful.   I'm very Supportive of her decision, never liked the Guy she Married and could see he was a Player and not good Husband or Daddy Material, she deserved so much better than that Loser.  He already had too many Baby Mamas and is on to the next Ex Girlfriend or Wife I suspect, leaving a trail of Children spawned behind that he's fathered but isn't seemingly all that Invested in being a responsible Dad of.

I have a Proposal that if the Government is so Obsessed in Controlling Women's Bodies and Autonomy, Guys like him should be Mandatorily Sterilized by the Government and held accountable to all the Children they already had that they've neglected, abandoned and/or don't Support.  Becoz it's a Man that causes Pregnancies after all, whether it's a wanted and planned Pregnancy, unplanned Pregnancy, or unwanted Pregnancy, Men are ALWAYS involved.  Women don't get preggy all by themselves, but seem to bear all the responsibility and consequences or blame when it happens.  Or, when a Relationship goes to shit and a Man bails on the Family and Responsibility that should have been a Shared one.   The Double Standard has always bothered me and devolving to where Women are treated like Chattel is NOT the Answer to current Social and/or Reproductive Problems.

But, enuf of that talk during the Holidays, perhaps another time when I'm ready for a good strong Rant and Raging Against The Machine.  *Winks*   You know how Opinionated and Controversial I don't mind being.  *Smiles*  If you are a Pearl Clutcher, you're probably wandering into the Wrong Blog, but, you might still just enjoy the Pretty Pictures and just not wind yourself up getting the Vapors about what I might Write about.  *LOL*   Generally I haven't had a problem with Readers sticking around if they find the Blog just isn't for them or are easily Offended and Take an Offense when none is being Given.  I know when I go seeking new Blogs to be a Reader of, there will be some I'll add to my Sidebar to Read regularly and those that I won't.   You connect to some and some you won't, and that's all good.  

Right now our Nation is so deeply divided and topics are so divisive, that, too many people feel like they have to walk on Eggshells about saying anything.  I'm inclined to just be naturally outspoken and think Dialogue is important, especially concerning Problems and Solutions to them.  I don't shy away from Hot Topics just becoz someone may disagree with my Point of View, don't have similar Experiences or Points Of Reference to draw upon.   We all have a Lens we View our World thru, mostly it's formed by our Personal Experiences and Observations.  I can respectfully agree to disagree, I realize some folks just can't.   Or, simply have a Need to be Right, even if they Could be Right, or Could be Wrong.  By having Dialogue with different Points of View it does expand our Horizons and Understanding, even if we never come into Agreement.

The Older Granddaughter in Pittsburgh just send me this one, with a much more animated and pleasant looking Santa, tho' not having Kids on your Lap is probably a more pleasant option for everyone involved?  Though I'm wondering why a Great-Granddaughter is missing and it's only her Older Sister and Younger Brother in the Pix?   So, mebbe she just wasn't having it?  She is the Spunky One.  *LOL*  Now, you might recall that the Baby Brother was the one who had to endure the Weekend At Bernie's looking Santa {below}, who was either Asleep or Deceased, we're not Sure which?  *LMAO*  But, whether he is exposed to a Happy Santa or a Questionable One, that little Guy seems Cool and quite Chill with it.  *Smiles*

I haven't had to get a Photo taken with Santa and Kiddos in many Years now, since the Grandkids I Raised are now Adults.   But, I did dredge up one Blast From The Past G-Kid Force with Santa Pix out of the dusted off Photo Archives from 2008 {Below}.   I took the Pix, coz as I recall I couldn't afford to Buy the ones the Mall takes and Sells to you.   But, they can't refuse your Kid visiting with Santa.  *Winks*   The Force were never intimidated by any Santa, their Grandpa was always mistaken for being one, so, they were totally Cool and Chill with a portly Old Dude with long White Beard and Hair, they had one at Home.  *Smiles*   The Older Granddaughter just responded to me about why a Child was missing, she isn't a Fan... I thought so... no matter how Charming Santa was, I figured she wasn't having it.  *LOL*

I do remember I HAD to find a Santa with Real Beard and Mustache tho' coz Princess T was a Purist and would pull at a fake one and tell a faux Bearded Santa they weren't REAL.  *LMAO*  And thus began the New Family Tradition and Ritual of finding the "Realist" looking Santa every Christmas!  *Smiles*   And The G-Kid Force became adept at Santa Choosing and Judging.  *LOL*   Below is the 2009 'Real' Santa.   And, No, they refused to dress up in Christmas Outfits to visit Santa, becoz we never really knew in advance if we were gonna find a 'Real' one or not?  Some didn't pass the litmus test... and remember, I was also a Grandparent Raising Grandkids, and by a 2nd Generation of Child Raising, you're lucky they even have matching Clothes on or have their Hair did... they usually dressed themselves and did their own, or each other's, Hair!  *Bwahahaha*

 

So, this was as Fancy as it got for their Santa Pixs and I took them and wouldn't usually Buy the ones that The Mall took since they charged a small fortune for a Polaroid.   So, I'd have The Man take them up there and stand off to the side and take my own Pixs of them like Ghetto Grandma.  *LOL*   As you can see, The Young Prince had chosen to wear a Pair of Pants he Loved and had outgrown that only now came just past his Knees!  *Bwahahahaha*   Fortunately at those Ages they're so damned Cute that they could look any kind of way and still have a Photogenic Moment.  *Smiles*  Now of coarse it takes Princess T a minimum of Two Hours to ready herself to be Photographed or  you're just not getting one unless she deems herself to look Fierce and Gorgeous enough.  And getting The Young Prince in front of the Lens to capture an Moment, is like trying to Photograph a Unicorn or Bigfoot!  *LOL*

And the Santa Pixs ended the Year that The Young Prince felt he'd outgrown them, becoz then his Sister was not getting one with Santa alone.  In fact, growing up, if her Big Brother wasn't doing it, or had gotten too Old to do it, she wasn't either, and that was that.  He did Trick-Or-Treating longer than he wanted to for her sake and until she got herself Friends to do it with her instead and as a substitute of going with her Big Brother.   It was usually some hapless Boy from School that she coaxed into taking her Trick-Or-Treating and insisting they have matching Costumes ta boot.   Since, she was in charge of Wardrobe... always, by then!  *LOL*   And do you know how hard it was to find a Not Sexy She Devil Costume for a 12 Year Old Pretty Girl?!   Lord have Mercy she was covered up more than an Amish Schoolgirl and still looked too damned Sexy for her Grandpa, Uncle, and Big Brother's liking!  *LMAOROTF*

To prove my Point, Above is her as a She Devil at Age 12 that Halloween and covered up to her Neck, down to her Wrists and Ankles, and still looking too Sexy!  *Bwahahahaha*   And that Year a Boy from School that she liked named David, who was Head and Shoulders shorter than she had sprung up to in Height, was her hapless Victim and had to be a He Devil Chaperone.   Since no way was her Big Brother going Door to Door with her looking like THAT and Too Hawt to Trot for his liking.  For his Little Sister, who was quickly Blossoming into Young Womanhood, much to all their discomfort!  *LOL*   And the rest is History, since, the Menfolk around here just had to get used to it, since she wasn't gonna look any Un-Hawter, that's for damned sure.  *Bwahahaha*

And to this day they are some of my favorite Halloween Pixs of her. Becoz that was indeed the Big Transition of when your Little Girls start looking like Young Women and there's nothing you can do about it.  And, as a Grandma Raising another one, you now start doing the Countdown in your Head, to when Childhood ends and you can release them to the Wild and your Job is Done and you Survived the whole Ordeal of Raising a Girl Child.  *Bwahahahaha*   So, you don't even Care that they Outgrew the Pixs with Santa.   Tho' her Mama and BFF Amber, Buck Wild Naughty Teens that those Girls Gone Wild were, would intentionally, in their Teens, dress Sexy to sit on Santa's Lap!!!   And you never in your Life saw a Happier Looking Santa than THAT one lemme tell ya!  *Bwahahahaha*   Somewhere in a now Dried Out Plastic Mall Snow Globe in The RV Garage Mahal are those infamous Santa Pixs, and if The Daughter discovers them, I'll Share someday.  *Winks*

But, back to Christmas Past and Present.   Sometimes when I'm trawling the Photo Holiday Archives I come across some Pixs that I can't remember if it's stuff I Own or stuff I should have Bought and Owned?  Like this Old Christmas Pix which I can't imagine I Passed on Scoring, but, haven't been able to find, so mebbe I have Non-Buyer's Remorse, just not sure?   *LOL*   I call Old Pixs like those my Adopted Relatives becoz I Collect Old Ephemera.   I think I DO Own both of those Old Horse Show Ribbons and Loving Cup Trophy, so, I probably also Own that Pix and it's somewhere too...   And if we Find it I'll be glad I did Buy it and didn't just Photograph it at an Event and passed on Scoring it, coz Old Pixs are always inexpensive, and Old Holiday Pixs are always worth having to Display in Holiday Vignettes.

And speaking of Vignettes, Above is one of the Event that is being Hosted Today from their Book Of Faces Sneak Peek and it doesn't look at all Christmasy to me.   Yes, I like it, but I do Hope there will be a lot more Christmas than this at the Event or I'll be sorely disappointed!?!   I'm really into the Christmas Vibe right now and not rushing past it to something else yet.   In fact, I usually keep my Trees up until at least sometime in January or beyond, depending on how Lazy I feel about taking them down?   Not to mention, I Love the one Lit Up to bask in the soft Glow of while watching TV in my Livingroom.  *LOL*   Princess T will have hers took down the Day After Christmas, she gets Done with a Holiday quickly... she clearly didn't get that from Moi.  *Smiles*

And Yes, in Real Time it's the Day Of my Event and I'm waffling on getting dressed for it and what to wear?   I would like to wear something festive, but, doubt I have anything Christmas Inspired in my Wardrobe anymore, since Purging it of items not worn much or ill fitting.   I used to Dress Up for Christmas Events, but that went by the wayside along with Dressing Up for most things, in recent Years.   I like to see other people doing it and admire their Holiday Styles, but, for me, it's no longer feeling necessary to do anymore.   If I put some Christmas Themed Earrings in, that's about all the effort I'm putting into it these days.  *LOL*  I know, I know... it's Slacking... but, I'm Okay with NOT doing it anymore and it simplifies my Holiday Experience for me.  Which is the direction I'm intentionally heading in my advanced years, Simplicity.

I do still like Decorating for the Holidays, but have Dialed that back in recent Years too.   I LOVED these very Old Paper Mache Snowmen.  I Collect the very Old Paper Mache Halloween and Easter Collectibles.   But, I can't say I've found very many made for Christmas.  However, this Vendor clearly Loved her Duo of matching Paper Mache Old Snowmen more than I did, coz, no way would I stand that tall to Buy one!   I'll let you all speculate on what the Price Point was... I had Sticker Shock when I took a peek!!!   Yowsah!!!   But, when I Googled them, well, she actually had a Fair Price on them compared to Buying any at Auction, that were Priced wayyyyyy higher, so... who knew they command that kind of Bank?!   Guess I won't be getting any... ever.  *Bwahahaha*

I never did find much Vintage Christmas to put into our Showroom this Season.   We just didn't have much Inventory for the Season this Year, had Sold it all in previous Years.   And it's not like I go out Buying any for Resale, I don't, Seasonal Merch has a fairly short Window to Turn and I'm not Storing it in the Off Season like some Vendors are willing to do.  Since I'm primarily Downsizing and looking for a Quick Turn on any Merch I put into Stock, I am not necessarily doing Themes right now.  Yes, it looks Editorial and the Merchandising for Seasonal Stuff is Eye Candy to behold in Vignettes, but, Vendors specializing in it aren't doing so well this Year.   I'm not seeing a lot of their Inventory going out the Doors and they'll be stuck holding a lot of it.  So, I have zero regrets for not going in that direction with our Merch.   Sales are Soft even for stuff that is usually Selling, so, I'm not going out on any Retail Limbs.

And I see that many of my fav Vendors, Fabricators and Designers are doing the same and I don't blame them.   Those that usually Show Out for the Holidays, just didn't do it this Year and only gave a Nod to Christmas in their Booths or Showrooms.   And when I kept going back to their Spaces, even that wasn't Selling and was still languishing in Inventory, so, it was probably Wise that they didn't go Full On Christmas this Season.   Usually "Rusty Saturday" Sells a lot of their Vintage Toy Trucks that they convert into Christmas Tree Haulers.  This Year they only had Two and both of them were still there during the final Christmas Event their Antique Mall was Hosting.   And that was ALL the Christmas Merch they even had this Year.  So if you only had Two and neither of them Sold, well, there was really no point in having the whole Space Decorated for Christmas with Seasonal Merch, was there?

The Feedback I'm getting from my Customers is that they're afraid of the Inflation and Recession they strongly feel this incoming Administration is gonna cause.   I can't argue with that observation and prediction, I think it's accurate for an assessment of what's to come and so I don't blame them.  I'm not Buying anything I don't really Need either from now until, well, perhaps after they're ousted from the White House, Congress and the Senate Strongholds they've put a Stranglehold on the Country with.  I do not think it's gonna End Well and tho' I sincerely Hope I'm Wrong about that... I doubt it and don't hold out a lot of Hope either.   My Hope for the Future evaporated with what the Voters appeared to Want now for the direction of the Country.   They will now get what they thought they wanted and therefore deserve.  Be careful of what you Want, you might just get it.

A fiscally irresponsible Leader, with Historic mismanaging of his own Money, and the Money of others, is not likely to change.   I find it Ironic that before he's even installed, he and his Insane Clown Posse are already demanding the Debt Ceiling be Raised or they'll shut down the Government by Tomorrow.   Oh, and, now say they don't Care how much it Costs the American Taxpayers to do this epic Mass Deportation they Plan on Day One.  Which, conservative estimates say will have a devastating Cost to America in excess of say Three Hundred BILLION and that doesn't include the Long Term Cost of sustaining mass Deportation Operations, so, we could be talking Trillions.   And YOU are gonna Pay for it... not China, not Mexico, not Canada... YOU.  And fully expect a Global backlash and retaliatory measures to Tariffs and screwing over other Countries, coz Paybacks are always a Motherfucker when you make Enemies rather than cultivate Allies.   You mess with other People's Money and it gets Real, FAST.

Now, if you Voted for this Clown as Ringmaster of your Shitshow thinking your Prices would be lower and your Economy would be better, Hold On Suckas.   Coz you're in for a Wild Ride and you bought the Ticket so you're now on for the whole fucking Ride, and we'll all be White Knuckling it as it's heading to go Wheels Off the Rails and in a free fall off an Economic Cliff.   The Chaos has already begun and they haven't even had the Inauguration yet.   President Elon is already coercing Vice President Trump to do his bidding and since he bought and paid for him, well, the Puppet Master and his new Toy are on full Display now.   Sure, Elon and a few other obscenely Rich Puppet Masters aren't Elected Officials, but they Bought In Deep and want a Return on that Investment immediately.   And how long the Bromance lasts when Prez Elon is now getting the shift of Cult Base Adoration, well, should be Interesting, No?    

He can't "Officially" be Elected since he wasn't Born in America, but he's found a way In to the White House Unofficially as Puppet Master of the Orange Moron.  I mean, Elon is at least a Smart fellow... tho' an Unstable Genius.  So, he who holds the deepest of Purse Strings will be making all the Rules now and you Elected a Grifter and Conman, whose only Interests has ever been for himself and being Transactional with whoever offers HIM the most.  And fuck the American Public, he could give a Rats Ass about any of ya.   Fun Times.  And, I'm not being hyperbolic, every major Economist is in Agreement, the Stock Market is already reacting to Predictions that things probably will get dire fucking fast.   And Why do you suppose all these Huge Corporations and Billionaires are suddenly "Donating" so much to Buy a Piece of him too?   Listen, I'm no Grifter but I know a good Scam when I see one and whose hopping aboard is quite Telling to where the Money will be flowing towards... and away from.

And, the Bromance between the Prez and VP I aforementioned, won't last long without a big Rift, since Sharing Spotlight and all the Attention and Glory is something that will send Hair Furor into an epic infantile Tantrum.  *Winks*  But, when you've been Bought and Paid For, well, you're Servant to your Master now, so, he might just have to get used to it. Since, he's Sold himself to so many now, that he's enslaved himself to all of them.  Should they Call their Notes Due, he can't Re-Pay in anything but endless Favor and he knows it.   He's in too Deep to too many, as well as some Bad Foreign Actors he's Indebted to over the Years, when he couldn't get an American Bank to lend to him for Decades, to cut ties.  Listen, you don't Owe folks like that and get away with stiffing them without dire consequences.  He'd be Safer in Prison, if he did, let us just say.

And even his rabid Base will Turn on his Ass once they realize he's Played them for Fools, you mark my Words.   Some knew what they were Buying into, I suspect most didn't, not really.   When you don't even have a rudimentary knowledge of Economics and aren't doing so Well in Life, you can Believe any kind of Spin Bullshit shoveled to enhance an Illusion you desperately Want and NEED to Believe.  He tapped into desperation, Victim Mentality, greed, egocentricity, bias, Hatred and all those other easily exploited States of Being some folk are tied up in knots with.   Hell yeah they wanted someone Promising shit like Revenge and Retribution, exacted upon whoever they deem are the "Others" they want to Blame and use as Scapegoats for what isn't working for them and they don't Like about the World around them.

I watched, in part, before it got too Silly, a NetFlix Movie called THE DEAD DON'T DIE {2019}, which was a Zombie Apocalpse Parody of sorts of current affairs and had an All Star Cast.   Including Steve Buscemi as a MAGA Farmer wearing a Red Hat that said "Make America White Again", whilst sitting at a Diner next to his Neighbor played by Danny Glover.  *LMAO*   Yes, it was Stupid, but it had it's Moments of Satirical mirth before I just couldn't finish watching it.   Bill Murray as the Sheriff was a Role perfectly suited for his Brand of Humor tho'.   It was a Mega Cast Lark of a Movie and wasn't meant to be taken Seriously, but was surely making some blatant Political Statements along the way that I found to be fucking hilarious.   I mean, they resurrected Iggy Pop to play a Coffee Zombie for Chrissakes!   I didn't even know Iggy wasn't really Dead!!!   I mean, the Dude is 77!   *LMAOROTF*

I went to my Event, Friends were there in Line to keep it Interesting while we waited and yet, there were only about 7-10 of us in Line up 'til Opening, very unusual.  Usually the Line is around the Building!   Not a Good Sign at all.   The Event was Lovely, but attendance was dismal, nobody even checking out 40 Minutes after Opening and by then I'd left without Buying anything either.  I did take lotsa Blog Fodder, Work had called me again to ask me to Work that Night for the 2nd Time, I declined again.   Clearly they can't fill abandoned Shifts.  I'm gonna hafta call in for replacement for Friday Night too, since, more Medical Crisis unraveled, even more so than the Day After Thanksgiving's ER Visit... it's been THAT kind of a Holiday Season so far.  But, we'll get to all that further into the Post...  I'm trying to sequence the Order of things and the Events of the day here right now, while Symptoms persist that just make it hard and Feeling Weird. 

Princess T took me out for Lunch and I had Pho Chicken Broth and some Coconut Shrimp, I was feeling okay at that point in Time, like it might even be a Normal Day.   I hadn't been Home very long tho' before I got The Call from The Young Prince in total Psychotic Meltdown Mode.   So, I spent over an Hour talking him down off his Ledge, Fun Times.   His Mother was on Speaker Phone and even she, being a Paranoid Schizophrenic with D.I.D. too and similar diagnosis to her Son, was alarmed at how Crazy he sounded.   He was rambling about Tasting Colors and that the Colors of his Food didn't Taste Right and so he thought Allen was trying to mebbe Kill him?   Oy Vey.   Can you come get me in January Gramma, my Dad doesn't wanna just put me on a Bus like this... which... is probably Wise... you can't take some Shows on the Road on Public Transit.  And Clovis NM to Phoenix is a 9 Hour or so Ride.   *Eye Roll*   So, sometime in January I gotta figure out how to go get him and his stuff?   And that Call may or may not have Triggered the next unfortunate Event??????????? 

So, now we Move On to the even more Serious Topic, whether I had a Mini Stroke or Bell's Palsy on Thursday Night?  No, not hyperbole, or Gallow's Humor, I was in the Kitchen making the Family some Homemade Chili in the Crockpot and suddenly started losing sight in my Right Eye off and on, feeling my Right Side of my Face feel funny and Weak, severe Headache and feeling Dizzy!   I checked my Blood Sugar and it was abnormally high for no apparent reason, 252, it's been stable and I had only eaten some Chicken Broth and Shrimp earlier and felt Fine all Day, so, it was alarming.  I had The Son drive me to the ER, we live within sight of a major Hospital.  The ER was swamped, even with what could be Stroke Symptoms, your Care was delayed for Hours, I kid you not!  They did Triage me fairly quickly and say it could be a Mini Stroke or Bell's Palsy, which, I didn't even know what the latter was 'til I Dr. Googled it after they sent me back to the Waiting Room for THREE FUCKING HOURS!  I never did see a Doctor in all that time and nobody checked on me to see how I was faring!!!  Possible Stroke has a sense of Urgency about it, Brain Cells could be fucking Dying!

I'd sent The Son back Home to get some Rest since he had to be up for Work in a few Hours and they weren't calling me back for the balance of the Tests to be sure what was happening.   I'd only had an EKG, Blood Pressure Check and they'd taken my Blood Sugar and it was spiking higher, now to 295!   Patients around me had been waiting for 7-9 Hours and after 3 I called The Son to come get me.   If they weren't taking a potential Stroke Seriously, or were simply overwhelmed, well, I didn't even want to be at that Hospital... they were out of Wheelchairs and Beds they'd told me in Triage... so, you were expected to just wait for Care or Die I suppose?   I could do all that at Home more comfortably and not around so many very Sick People, some of which might have contagions!   If it's Bell's Palsy it won't Kill me, I still can't see right out of my Right Eye and my Face still feels numb, but my Cognitive abilities seemed good.

I keep looking in the Mirror and Smiling and seeing if my Eyeball droops, they're not.  I can understand Speech and my Arms and Legs don't feel heavy.  The Man used to be a Field Medic in the Military and a Paramedic, so, he's keeping an Eye on me, he hasn't forgotten all his Medical Training.   We figure if I get worse we'll call an Ambulance or Paramedics who will at least Work on me and have them take me to a different Hospital that perhaps is less overwhelmed and might do a Brain Scan or something beyond just Parking my Ass in a Waiting Room for Hours on end.   I didn't have a Peace about the level of Care that Hospital ER was offering and the Line was out the Doors just waiting for Intake, it was as Crazy as when COVID was at it's worse and Hospitals were on Crisis Standard of Care!  Yes, I'll be calling my Doc for follow-up and we'll see how bad off I am... or am not???   But, on a bright note just Days before Christmas, my Elk Meat Chili did turn out REALLY damned good...

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A Crisis Christmas it seems like it's gonna be my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian