The Cabal Of Vulgarians

 I decided that while The Man is doing his Cardiac Rehab Today I'm taking the unpriced Pokemon Cards in with me to the Antique Mall and looking them up and pricing them while there to add to what's already in the Locked Case.  I have Priced Inventory I'm bringing in with me and will be putting Security Tags on, almost all T-Shirts and a Tote, I'm concentrating on what is Selling since Sales fell flat again this past Pay Period, after expenses I made 75 Cents, I kid you not... which is pitiful, but at least I didn't owe, a lot of Vendors said they owed the Mall, so they were seriously underwater for the Pay Period.  Sales flatlined in spite of Two Holidays during that Pay Period, Father's Day and the 4th of July 250th Celebration, but, The Mall didn't do anything Special for either, so, there ya go, missed Opportunity to Stimulate Trade on Holidays is adding to the problems there.

They had a LOT of move-outs too, I highly suspect people are either Closing Shop for the slow Summer Months, or, they're Renting from our new Competitors.  Since, another very large Antique Mall that opened on the Westside will be stiff competition for both Vendors and Customers and they are probably doing all kinds of things to attract both.  In the East Valley that Antique Mall does a lot of Trade Stimulating Events and it shows, they're busy every time I'm there but it's too far away to Rent Space at.   And their Booths are rather small, at the going Rate for Rents, you need square footage to make it remotely pay off overhead and expenses.  Having a Showroom helps us a lot, the Booths have very high turnover but the Showrooms don't, we usually fare better than Booths or Cases. 

 My Locked Case is paying for itself tho', can't complain for what I Sell out of there that needs the added Security of being Locked up.  Still, Summer is always rough, Tourists and Snowbirds leave the State when it's Hot.  If it were not for the World Cup they wouldn't even be here from other Countries.  Our International Visitors quit coming due to COVID and then due to this Regime and how this Prez has alienated the whole World and virtually destroyed our Reputation as a Nation.  I know that the International Community doesn't blame all Americans, all my International Readers, Friends and Family abroad know we're not all like him and not all MAGA Maniacs, but, still, they also now know how Unwelcome he's making our Visitors from other Countries and how they cannot Trust our Government under his Leadership.  He's been so insulting, ignorant, offensive and contentious, it's an embarrassment and a disgrace to decency. 

Anyway, so, right now Sales suck and so I'm trying to cram in there what is most likely to Sell with whoever does still Shop when it's 117 Degrees outside and the Economy is in the shitter?   I myself am broke now after I pay the Bills and Buy just the Essentials every Month.  So, if I don't have the discretionary income from our Sales there, then there is no discretionary income to spend.   Princess T will give me Money as I need it if the ends don't meet, so will The Son, but, they both are earning Minimum Wage with Part Time Hours and no Benefits... so they can only help out so much.  The Daughter never really Earns enuf to give me much, but she always does anytime she has her little side jobs.  The Grandson has zero income except anything Allen sends.  So he's spending most of the Summer in New Mexico he says.  So he won't be a financial drain until we get some Word from Social Security on whether he will Qualify to receive SSI and any Services or Benefits?

I did get The Man this Cap at our Antique Mall while there Today, he Collects Caps, this Commemorative 250th one was very Nice.  I'm sure many Families are also having to be careful with their Budgets, we're better off than most coz we have Earned Pensions and Social Security, and The Man has a Disability Pension for being a 100% Service Related Disabled Veteran.  But, Fixed Incomes are just that... Fixed... so if Inflation is rampant and we go into Recession or a Depression... ya gotta try to stretch Fixed further.   And I'm frugal and good at stretching a Buck, but, we have a Family of Six here to Support and no longer have a Paid Off Mortgage or Paid Off Vehicle like I was used to and had Planned to have thruout Retirement.  The best laid Plans of Mice and Men... ha ha ha... shot to shit... Life happens, Shit happens... whaddya gonna do?   I could use a Lottery Win, how about you?  *Winks*  No matter how Carefully you Prepare for anything, unforeseen Events can and often do still cause your endeavors to fail or go awry.  *Le Sigh and Shrugs*

Ah well, things could be worse, I've been in much worse Situations thruout Life.  I've been Homeless with a 6 Week Old Baby and a Four Year Old, with a Psycho Ex threatening to Kill us back then, while holding down a stressful Corporate Banking Career, running Five of their Departments in Collections, Foreclosures, Bankruptcies, Taxes, and Insurance, as well as doing Internal Audit, it was quite a Juggle.  I was living out of my Vehicle and Couch Surfing at various G.I. Friends who offered temporary Shelter and Protection.   I did get back on my Feet and by the time my Kiddos were 3 and 7, eventually met and Married The Man, who offered First Rate "Protection" due to his Military Skillset.  *Winks*  The Psycho Ex got sent up to Serve 27 Years in Maximum Security Prison and shot during a failed Robbery... which was less than a Block from the Bank I was an Assistant Vice President of!!! 

 Yeah, it made the Local News in Real Time and The Man called me at Work and asked, "Honey, what was the Name of your Ex Husband?  Coz I think he's making Major News right now that I'm watching on the TV, and is on the run from Police real near your Work, he got shot Robbing a place less than a Block away!!!  Took a Taxi to a Robbery, that's real full on Psycho!!!"   And yep, it was him, and I hadda live that down, coz... it was a Big Story at the time, made The News, Front Page of the Papers, Big Trial, the whole shebang.  And I cannot say I was the least bit Surprised coz he was a True Psychopath and I Divorced him due to how Dangerous and Violent he became, and he began Using and was an Alcoholic, so mixing that with being Psycho was seriously No Bueno.  He was Handsome, Charming, Intelligent, a Hard Worker and made excellent Money in the Trades, but, being Married to a True Psychopath just never Ends Well.  It became Unsafe to stay in the Relationship and once I Believe he had Harmed one of my Kids, The Daughter, I left him and got a Divorce before I wanted to Harm or Kill him.

 I mean, I'm a bit Psycho myself, and probably the only reason I'm still Alive actually... but I knew if I stayed Married to him, someone was getting Toe Tagged and it would have been Premeditated on my part, with no Remorse, just sayin'.  If it was gonna be me or him... it was definitely gonna be him.  *Winks*  And anyone who'd Hurt one of my Kids, is in my Crosshairs... Forever.  And I did Curse him... I think that stuck by what happened to him later.  The Daughter's Bio Father too.  Yes, I'm a vindictive Ex who Hexes.  *Winks*   So I still do Feel abundantly Blessed and Favored right now compared to then.  And The Man said he don't want no Hexes upon him.   Now, Honey, Why would I Hex you?   And he responds, well, I saw what happened to the ones you did... so... I ain't risking none of THAT!!!  You or your Mom!   He was very Nice with my Mom and she Respected that, even tho' they didn't get along, he knew she put heavy Hexes upon folk otherwise, which never Ended Well for the Cursed.  *LOL and Winks* 

 The Psycho Ex is still among the Living and paying 40 Years worth of back Child Support he owed me, so that was a big Surprise, may he now live Forever.  *Bwahahaha*  Coz it will take Forever for him to reimburse me the 18 Years worth Owed me... and he owes the State of Arizona even more for The Son's Mental Healthcare.  Coz I had good Insurance but they have Lifetime Caps on Mental Health Services they'll cover.  And you use those up quickly with any Special Needs Child and then the State covers Vulnerable Children via AHCCCS who have a condition with no Cure once no Insurance will Cover them.   Arizona does have a Law that every Child should have Healthcare, it's the one good thing they've done to ensure Children aren't among the Uninsured or turned away for lack of Insurance when they're Sick, Disabled, or Injured.  A Family with even One Special Needs Child could otherwise go Bankrupt easily from just the Medical Expenses.  I had several Special Needs Kiddos, so even Good Insurance had Lifetime Caps on how Deep In they'd go in the Expenses, especially with Mental Health Needs, or even Chronic Physically Disabling permanent Needs.

Anyway, so since 2025 I've been getting Back Owed Child Support Checks now for a Kid who turned 40... after receiving no Child Support Awarded me for the 18 Years he was a Child, which was ironic and hilarious, as well as unexpected.  I never got a Dime prior to this.  What I didn't know is if a Deadbeat Parent files for their Social Security, any Back Payments Owed for Child Support will be garnished from them out of their Social Security... Good.  Anyway, better late than never, Right?  *Bwahahaha*  And every little bit Helps... it's not much, I was Awarded a paltry amount of $100 a Month, like that would actually Help Raise a Child, even in the 80's and 90's, especially one with significant Special Needs.  They now reimburse me $108 a Month for the Back Payments never received.  Haven't figured out what the extra $8 is for?  *LMAO*

Of coarse I have a Funny Story about Social Services that isn't really Funny Ha-Ha, but fascinating.  When The G-Kid Force were really little, Princess T required expensive Specialty Formula due to her Gut Issues and Frail Health with significant Medical Problems.  I never received any compensation for being a Kinship Placement for either Child, you're considered a "Volunteer" Placement since you're Related to the Children so the State, even tho' they were Wards of the State of Arizona, would only cover their Medical and Mental Health, coz I had no Insurance after I had to take early Retirement and The Man's Insurance, would cover me, but wouldn't cover his Custodial Grandchildren, also, they're not biologically connected to him either and he wasn't allowed to Adopt them due to his extent of Disability.  So, becoz her Specialty Diet was costing me a small fortune I applied for WIC's Nutritional Assistance Program for the Kiddos.

They reviewed our Case and awarded me $203 a Month for The Young Prince in Nutritional Assistance.   And, wait for it, for a Second Child in my Care {Princess T who had the most Nutritional Assistance needed for her Specialty Medical Foods and Formula}, they awarded me $1.98 a Month.   I'm not fucking kidding!!!   That was the Formulary they used and calculated for a Two Child Kinship Placement by The State, coz you know, Feeding a 2nd Child, even one requiring Specialty Foods due to serious Medical Issues, should only cost you about Two Bucks a Month more apparently???!!!!!!!  *Enormous Eye Roll*  Needless to say I'd have to spend all of it on his Sister to afford her Specialty Formula and Foods, but, it was better than receiving Nothing.   I don't know how much Foster Families receive to Feed Foster Kids, or that it's on a seriously reduced sliding scale for each additional Child... but I'm assuming it's much more?   Princess T was 9 before she was off the Specialty Formula or out of Pull-Ups.   They can only remain on WIC until the Month of their 5th Birthday tho', then it stops.

Ah, those were the days.   So, with all the Cuts to all of those Programs, I don't know how much more fucked up and pared down or parsed out it is?  Probably way worse?   Yet, we apparently have plenty of Taxpayer Money to spend on Vanity Projects like Ballrooms, Arches, Reflecting Pool Fiascos, tackily Gilding Statuaries, and Gilding just about everything in the White House so it all looks gauche as fuck!   And a Budget for ICE that exceeds our whole Military Budget for National Defense.  But not Food or Life Saving Medicines or Cancer Treatments for Children, go figure!   *Shakes Head in disgust.*   And are they doing a "Weekend At Bernie's" regarding ole Turtle Face Mitch McConnell?  Do we even have Proof of Life at all?   Wonder if they'll do the same with Donnie Two Dolls?

You know, a lot of the Great Native American Leaders of the Past made Astute and Profound Observations about the Invading Culture.  I often get their Quotes on my Algorithm Feed coz my Native American Cousins Share a lot of Ancestral Tribal stuff with my Brother and I... so FB knows our Algorithm has a lot of Native stuff of Interest.  *Ha ha ha*  Anyway, this is another one I Liked:

When Jesus Christ came upon the Earth, you killed Him. The son of your own God. And only after He was dead did you worship Him and start killing those who would not. ~ Tecumseh

It is a very Astute Observation and why my Indian Grandmother stuck with her Tribal Spiritual Practices and never became a Christian.   Tecumseh was a Great Shawnee Chief & Warrior. {1768-1813}  And what he said wasn't Wrong, and probably was extremely confusing to Tribes as to what Christianity professed to be all about.  My Grandma felt the Missionaries didn't treat the Indigenous they tried to convert like Equals, or often even like Human Beings.  So she was not receptive but sent each of her Kids to a different Christian Church coz Food was scarce and they would Feed them if they listened to Sermons.  So each of my Relatives that Converted belongs to a different Denomination.  *LOL*  I do not Like nor have Time for Organized Religion.

The Man's Cardiac Rehab went very well.  I Priced about 2/3 of the Pokemon Cards while at the Antique Mall and looked each one up, what a chore, but one was worth $59 so ya gotta do it, I wouldn't have a Clue of Value otherwise.  I tidied the Showroom too and hung up all the newly Priced T-Shirts and Tote in there.  I talked to an Elderly Lady and her Middle Aged Daughter, first time at our Mall, they were having a Big Time and were a lovely Family.  They'd gone to Buck-ees that Morning and she said that was quite the Ordeal, they took some Pixs, said it was very loud, and now can say, Been There, Done That, won't go back.  *LOL*  She didn't understand folks losing their Minds about the place. But they Loved our Antique Mall and will come back, so that was good to hear.  The Old Lady had sat beside me while I was Pricing in the Back of the Mall, coz she was Tired by the time she got to the back and her Daughter had migrated to our Upstairs.  

We have an area set up for Vendors to do that in the Back Downstairs, so we can Price without obstructing Shoppers, but sometimes Customers will come sit and Chat, I don't mind.  She didn't have it in her to go Upstairs this visit.  Her Daughter took Pixs up there and sent them to her Mom's Phone.  *LOL*   It is a 55,000 sf Mall so a lot of folks can't do it in a Day and come back several times.   Some will spend Hours there tho', there's a lot to look at, so it's not something you can do in a Marathon Rush.   I was Pricing Pokemon and she saw that, I guess her Daughter is the Collector and they came all the way from Mesa in the East Valley.  Which is why they'd never been to our Location in the Far West Valley before, tho' they'd been to our Downtown Phoenix Location before and many other Antique Malls around the Valley.  Including the New One I haven't been to yet here in the West Valley and must get around to visiting.

I took The Man to Brunch after his Cardiac Rehab coz I knew he hadn't eaten, he's not a Breakfast Person so often skips that Meal of the day.  I LIVE for Breakfast or Brunch, I'd skip Dinner first.  *LOL*  Anyway, we hadn't been to "Kiss The Cook" in Downtown Glendale in ages, so I had a hankering for their Crepes and Gramma's Fried Potatoes.  So we went, saw a lot of New Development along the way, and a lot of Store Closures in Old Towne Historic Glendale.   I was disappointed in my Crepes, they must have a new Chef since last time we were there and they don't know how to make Crepes, the Batter used was too thick and tasted like Pancakes, not Crepes.  And I think they just made thin Pancakes and rolled them up actually?!  And the Side of Fruit had Browned Pineapple... and some of the Fried Potatoes were overcooked and hard as the Devil's Toenails... so I left the hard ones, they were inedible.   I ate most of the Meal tho', their Prices had increased significantly, so, it will be iffy now that I'd go back often.  I won't pay Premium prices for marginal Food. Photos were Nice and Editorial tho' and are Lead Images for this Post.

The Man enjoyed his Meal, he'd gotten the Corned Beef Hash Breakfast and I guess nothing was Wrong with his Meal coz he ate every bit of it without playing with it.  *LOL*  They do give you the best Complimentary little Muffins in Two Flavors that come with every Order.  And the Restaurant is Decorated with Antiques and is in a Historic Building in Olde Towne that has the Old Hardwood Original Floors.  At each Table they have mismatched Antique Diner Chairs, it's Kitschy in a Cute Yesteryear Nostalgic way.  And they give each Patron a Hershey's Kiss as you leave, hence the Name "Kiss The Cook".  It's been around Forever it seems, tho' it was Founded by a Family in 1982 that still Owns it.  

My Mom used to go there with her British Friend Esme' all of the time, coz they used to have the best British Style Scones and their Crepes do use Clotted Cream.  The Crepes used to be made European Style and were excellent, which is why it's a pity the New Cook they must have doesn't know how to make them Right, coz they were renown for their European Style Crepes and Bakery Items... and Hot Teas.  I Love their Orange Spice Hot Tea.  It only opens for Breakfast and Lunch.  I'm still trying to get my MRI Results from my Doc's Office.  They claim they called me 3 times on my Cellphone but there is no History of them doing that, Princess T checked.  They claimed they left Voice Mails, there are none.  I confirmed if they had the right phone number, they do, so I don't know whose pretending they called, but, they didn't. 

 I thought it was odd the results weren't in yet when the Mammogram Results were in 2 Weeks ago and I had both Tests done the same day.  And the MRI was more important due to the findings of the CT Scan and the Ultrasound both finding what they simply referred to as a "Mass".  So the MRI was to know more about what is was and if I should be concerned about it or not?   The Male Receptionist said he didn't have Authority to discuss the results with me, which is Fine, but I informed him that there had been no Calls or Voice Mails, tho' I've Called now Three times and got no Information yet, and it's been since Mid-June now I've been waiting.   And that my Family is getting Anxious about not knowing what's going on, coz, they certainly are and me telling them not to Worry isn't Helpful, coz they're still Freaking Out about it.   I'm staying Calm but I do wanna know what this "Mass" is they speak of?   I've had Bloodwork done too, so far nobody is telling me anything definitive.  And it's not like they've had a sense of Urgency either to contact me.  I still haven't gotten the Return Call they said they'd do Today.

Anyway, other than that everything is Swell.  *Bwahahahahaha*  Remember I talked of the Mad Tea Parties that Princess T and I always had when she was little?  Well, found a Blast From The Mad Tea Party Past while wading thru some Photo Archives of her with one of my Vintage Demitasse Diner Cups, which she Adored and preferred drinking her Tea out of coz they were Child sized.  I had mini Vintage Spoons too and she'd use those as well.  Sometimes we'd dress up and put on Silly Vintage Hats for the Tea Party and she'd bring her Fav Dolls and Plush Toys to sit around the Table with us, it was such Imaginative Fun to do with her.   Since she's wearing her Halloween Bat Top in the Pix I'm guessing this Photo was taken sometime in October and we were sitting under our Gazebo on the Acreage of the Historic Property we Owned at the time.  The new Owner hasn't taken that down, tho' a great portion of the Beautiful Old Rock Art and Adobe Wall has fallen down or been taken down and some Cheap Ass looking Wood Fence and Chain Link Fence put up in it's place surrounding the Property... Ugh!

It does make me Sad that he started our doing Preservation Work initially to have us Sell the Property to him and now is letting it get rundown and doing a hack job of Restoration, which really is more like remodeling with Modern shit that doesn't fit on a Historic Home, so looks out of place and a mish-mash.  I personally think he's divided the large Property up into Rental Units again, which happens to a lot of larger Historic Homes... for Investment Rental Income with no regards to Historic Preservation, it becomes kind of a Slum Lord scenario in Older Neighborhoods really.  I didn't want that or I could have Sold it for 3x the amount to an Investor/Developer in the first place.  So I do feel like he acted like he was a Preservationist and probably wasn't, but knew we wouldn't Sell it otherwise.  I'd of just kept it actually... and a part of me always wishes I just had.  All of my Family felt we should have kept it, but Vacant, we were having lots of problems with Trespassers, Vandals, Squatters.  It was becoming a hassle and I was Dealing with a lot at the time... and the City was terrible about doing anything to Prosecute Offenders.  We'd have them Arrested, Press Charges, they'd just let them go.

Here we have a better Police Presence even tho' it's in the same City... they just don't do much about Crime in the Older Parts and so Crime is higher where they aren't Serving and Protecting as well those Communities.   If you live in an area predominantly populated by Minorities and Immigrants, the Police act differently, they really do, and it's not Right.   And it's why you don't get proper Investing and Developing in those Communities becoz even Businesses know they'll be Targeted with higher Crime and the Police won't really do much, if anything, about it.   And becoz they don't Care as much about those Communities, is why the Crime escalates.  Same with this Government, nobody is stopping him or his Cabal of Vulgarians and so their Crimes have escalated and intensified coz there are no consequences and no Policing of any of it.   So, no deterrents.  And so Honest Public Servants are either being illegally Fired, Threatened, bogus Charges filed against them, or just Quitting in droves.  It's a complete Cluster Fuck going on.

The Young Prince did call me Today, to check in on me, he's worried sick about his Grandpa and I so has been having Panic Attacks about us.  And so now is waffling on whether to spend most of the Summer in New Mexico?  I guess the visit is working out Okay, he had one Hospitalization while there, which is why they didn't come back for the 4th of July, but says he's okay now.   His Skin was breaking out badly, it's probably his Nerves from Worrying about our Health, he gets really Bad Skin Infections when he breaks out from Emotional stuff and then itches, scratches it raw, ends up getting sores Infected.  He has a Picking Disorder where he constantly picks at his Skin and causes Wounds too. They gave him Meds for that and it Helps, so I'm wondering if some of them got Infected?  He has Ointments they gave him to put on where he has picked himself raw, but sometimes he forgets to apply it with consistency.  He does engage in Self-Harm sometimes so we have to watch closely that he's not doing that.  He'll often cut himself when the Pain and Torment on the Inside is too intense... he says it "Lets it out".  So, he's pretty scarred up from that too from healed lacerations which cause Raised Scars like intentional Scarification.

But on a Positive Note... Above is my Niece, in the Middle, with her Son {my Godson whose Birth I was her Coach at}, and her Son's Wife on the Left.   He's a Life Flight Helicopter Air Rescue Paramedic now.   She's an Attorney for the IRS, I don't know what her Son's Wife does, I've not met her, but the whole Family Love her.  They now all live in other States, the Niece in Florida, her Son and his Wife in Texas.  Her Younger Sister in Texas, a Younger Brother in Oklahoma, a Younger Brother in Texas.  She does come to visit us tho' and has made several trips here since we've bought this Property, her Younger Sister has too, but, none of their Brothers has.   Yes, she looks Young coz they were all Young Teen Moms.   She has Three other Younger Children that aren't Grown yet, they usually come with her on Visits.  She has Two more Sons and a Daughter.  None of her Kiddos look like her, they all look like their Fathers.  I didn't like any of their Fathers, all were no good Scoundrels, but the Kids turned out great so that's a relief.

 She's also helping to finish Raising one of her Younger Brother's Children, a Teen Daughter, that he Fathered by some Girlfriend... I don't know what happened to the Girl's Mother, but I know her Brother wasn't fit to Parent a Child, he's a Heroin Addict and has never been Clean as far as I know, which is Sad, I always Hoped he would eventually gain Sobriety and it would Hold, he never has.  He didn't even attend his Mother's recent Funeral.  Nobody in the Family knew where he was or if he's still among the Living???   I'm Proud of this Niece coz she put herself thru College by Working as a "Hooter's" Waitress and a "Corona Girl" at Clubs, and now she's an Attorney for the IRS, has a nice Home in Florida, and Raising her Family and her Brother's Child as a Single Parent.  She and The Daughter were very much the Wild Child Teens and got into a lot of Mischief and had their Kids way too Young by Men who were just Trouble.   This is a good Pix of her with the Daughter-in-Law, who she Adores, her Son found a Good Woman to Marry and he's turned out so well, his Mom put him thru College too.

Lots of the Northern Parts of the State, and surrounding States, are on Fire and I think it's delaying the Monsoon Season and changing the Weather Patterns due to the intense Heat of those Fires.  Many of them are barely contained.  It was 115 Today, a little Cooler than the 117 the day before, but, still Toasty enuf to just stay Inside and not venture out if you don't have to.  Those with frail Health, like The Man, are quite vulnerable to Extreme Heat Warnings in place, so I don't take him out unless he has an Appointment and try to schedule those as early in the Morning as we possibly can so we're Home before the heat of the day.  I put Water and Seed out for the Wild Birds early so they're not stressed out looking for either in the heat of the day.  If they're well fed and watered then they may just roost in Shady Trees during the harshest part of the day and not have to fly around looking for a meal or a water source.  

I found some Old Archived Pixs of the Rock and Adobe Art Wall that used to be around the entire Historic Property we Owned, over an Acre of this Wall.  These Pixs were taken when we Sold it, all the Walls were firm and fine, they had stood for over a Century, so I have to Believe something intentional was done to knock them down.  Adobe and Rock is very Strong, it doesn't come down easily unless a demolition or really bad accident happens.  And even if a Vehicle had hit them, it would have done far more damage to the Vehicle than to the Wall, coz it was about 14-16 inches thick and these Stones were very large and mostly Granite.  And so much of the Wall has been taken down now that I have to Believe it was done on Purpose and I don't understand why? 

  It protected the Property, matched the Architecture of the Home and gave it far more curb appeal than the flimsy ugly Wooden and Chain Link cheap Fencing now up, which won't Age well in this Climate {the Wood} and Chain Link offers no Privacy.  The Wall was mostly 5-6 Feet High and provided a lot of Privacy and Seclusion and a Sound Barrier from Street Noise.   I miss how it used to look, so much Handwork, the Stones used no Mortar and were fixed together like mortarless Stone Walls in Europe and South America, so Unique and Artistically done, around an entire Acre and even on the actual Home about halfway up the Main House.  I Loved this Property with my whole Heart and Soul, so hard to give it up, it was Paid Off and we would have had a very nice Retirement on our Pensions with not having a Mortgage and the lowest Tax Base it had due to being Grandfathered and a City Island Property with no Zoning Restrictions imposed coz it predated the City by Decades.  

  

The City wasn't incorporated until the late 1940's, this Home was built around 1920 or thereabout... perhaps earlier, Records didn't go that far back to say for sure.  When we did some Restoration we found Newspapers in the Walls from 1920... but some Artifacts from the 1800's, it was built of Salvage Materials at the Turn of the Century.  So, some parts of it's Structure were from Razed 1800's Buildings, the original Owner and Builder of it had been involved in Salvage, and a lot of other early Arizona Businesses, many Parks, Streets and such are Named after him Locally, he was quite influential in Arizona, Nevada and California, owning Mines, Properties and Businesses in all Three States in the 1800's and early 1900's.   By Researching him and finding Paperwork he and his Heir had Hoarded in the Outbuildings, I pieced together some of the History of the Property and their Lives.  The Nephew was the  Old Man I knew and went to Church with, who had Lived there all his Life, Owned it and was Single with no Children to Inherit it.  I would have liked my Heirs to have Inherited it... they would have Loved to. 

*******

Glancing back while moving forward... Dawn... The Bohemian

Curbing My Muchness And My Crazy Is Just HARD!!!

 I quit Purging Archived Posts for now coz I couldn't Believe how many Reads they're ALL getting!  Who knew?  So, for now anyway, the Purge of Old Posts is halted, in case you are trying to catch up in what's been Archived, you're Welcome.  *Bwahahaha*  And, I'm so many Posts ahead now that are Unpublished, it's ridiculous, coz I have been trying to be more Editorial and shorten them, you're also Welcome.  *Winks*  I'm still a Work in Progress tho', but, Baby Steps, Baby Steps... curbing my Muchness is just HARD!  Damn Hard!!!  *Le Sigh and Smiles*  But, I do TRY, you just can't always tell.  *Ha ha ha*  A little bit of me can go a long fucking way... I know this Truth.  I'm Intense.  And more than a little Crazy as well, so that = Crazy Intensity, which is a LOT to be Exposed to for any length of Time, I ain't gonna Lie!!!  *Winks*

The Man has probably Earned his Sainthood putting up with me all these Years, he said he'd of Served less Time for Murder!  *Bwahahaha*  This is however, True, he would have.  *Winks*  But, he Bought the Ticket so he's on for the whole fucking Ride!   Wheeeeee, White Knuckling it he is, coz it's a Wild Ride to be sure!   My Dear Dad Warned him tho', as did my Brother, so he was Forewarned.  *Smiles*   But, Hey, I have my Merits, I had Excellent Earning Potential since I made more Money than him.  And I was a Bad Girl and Wild, so I could Rock his World and I think he found that Exciting, coz he is an Adrenalin Junkie to his very Core and likes to Live Dangerously.  So, I guess I had my Appeal, and at the time, I was kinda Cute and still had my Girlish Figure, even after having all my Kids... so I was easy enuf on the Eyes, or so I'm told.  *Smiles*

 And I found him Exciting too, in a different kind of way that a really Wholesome Good Guy, who was also a Government Assassin, can be.  *Bwahahaha*  He was the Yang to my Yin, and vice versa, and now here we are all these Years later, Living The Dream.  Or his Nightmare... it's all quite subjective really.  *Bwahahaha*  I was rather weary of the Bad Boys, been there, done that, but got Kids out of it, so it wasn't a total waste of blowing thru Bad Relationships that didn't work out.  The Man had blown thru more than a few of his own actually, only he thought he had to Marry all of his.  *LOL*  I only made that Mistake once... and the Marriage didn't last as long as my Pregnancy with The Son did!  *Bwahahahaha*  My Mom Predicted this one would Last, and she was always Right with her Predictions, she didn't get along with him at all, but knew he was a Good Man and a Keeper.   And he was Handsome and quite Fit for an Older Guy.  I was 12 when he was in Vietnam... my Dad was in Vietnam, so I was like, how Old IS this Guy?!  *Winks and Laughs coz I do Like me an Older more Mature Seasoned Man!  Preferably with Slow Hands.  Smiles*

I think my Dear Parents had almost given up on me ever being a Conventional Relationship kind of Person, or Living a Traditional kind of Lifestyle at all, I was never a Conformist and they accepted that tho'.  They were very Bohemian in Spirit, and wanted me to be Authentic to Self, but Traditional when it came to things like Love and Marriage.  They wanted me to find Love and get Married, more importantly, stay Married if possible.  *Bwahahaha*   I'm an Old Hippie, what can I say... Marriage was never a high Priority to me, ever.   And I've pretty much Lived the Hippie way of Being in my Personal Life, while my Alter Ego became a Corporate Executive in my Professional Life, coz that's where the Money was.  So, the contradictions abounded with me.  On the Job I could be a completely different Being to get what I wanted out of The System set up by the Patriarchy and Establishment that I have despised.  You Play the Game to your Advantage was how I saw it.  And if the Game is Rigged, which it is, then there's really few Rules you can't Break or Test.  *Smiles*

Never was a level Playing Field, and never will be in my Lifetime, but that didn't matter to me coz Challenges and Conquering them were kind of a Rush when I was Younger.  Okay, they still are, I Confess, tell me I can't do something or it's not possible, and I will prove you Wrong every fucking time just becoz I CAN.  And if I Think I CAN, then I WILL.  I'm tenacious, relentless and stubborn as a Motherfucker that way and will rise to any Challenge presenting itself, just to Fix it in my Favor some kind of way, and make some Bank off of it becoz you can.  If you see a Problem and you Solve said Problem, it has Value to Society... and they will usually pay you handsomely to be a Fixer of what they've fucked up.  That meant Opportunity coz Humans fuck up a lot of shit all of the time, so Problems without Solutions abound.  I found my Niche.  How much ya willing to PAY to Solve your Problems and what ya fucked up?  I might be your Solution and your Gal.  *Winks*

Anyway, The Man Respected my Game, and was Supportive in any Career Field I gravitated to.  He even is the one that chose my 2nd Corporate Life by sending the D.A.'s Office my Resume' without my knowledge!!!  I got the Job before I even knew I was looking for one!  *Bwahahahaha*  No Interview, no Experience with Criminal Law, it was Earn while you Learn coz The Man just figured Law was Law, how hard could it be for me to Transition from Real Estate Law to Criminal Law after all?!  *Bwahahahahahaha, gee, Thanks Honey!*   Well, you LIKE a Challenge Dawn, so, get busy with it, and so I did.  And it turned out Well and was Challenging in a Good way and far less Dry and more Interesting than Real Estate Law, which Paid well but could be a Yawnfest.  Even tho' the Pay sucked in Prosecution, compared to Corporate Banking, but, whatever, the Benefits were excellent.  And he was costing a Million Plus Annually for his Medical, so, I considered that part of the 'Salary' coz it covered all his Medical Expenses, Win-Win. 

Plus, I got to see, up close and personal, all the Major Crime in a Metropolis of what was the 5th largest D.A.'s Office in the Nation!  Fun Times!!!  *Eye Roll*  One thing I Learned quickly was you can't Unsee what you See or Unhear what you Hear.  That's why so many washed out quickly in that Line of Work.  Most didn't even make it thru Probation, a great many walked off the Job at Break or Dinnertime and just never came back to their Desk.  File still Open to what Case sent them Over the Edge.  Even tho' they all mostly had their Masters Degree in Criminal Law and I had Zero Degrees in it but the capacity to See or Hear anything without being Phased.  Well, much, you do get Phased by some of it, or you wouldn't be Human, and it can be Heavy shit to not be able to Unsee or Unhear.  But you have to be able to See it, Hear it, and then go have a Sammich, I could do that, which, was Valuable, as it turns out.

The Man used to Joke it was coz I have a Dark Soul, or No Soul... and so I don't get Emotional about hardly anything.  I stay Stoic and seem Unphased or giving any Appearance of being Phased.   I tell you I Feel things becoz I know I should, and you expect me to, but sometimes I just don't.  I think it may be part of my Mental Illness, I dunno?  Flat Affect and Emotional Blunting, I think it's called.  I just know that I'm not Reactive, no matter what happens and what I'm told, I rarely show any outward Emotions.  Always have been that way, even as a Child.  I was that little Kid that would not Cry and rarely showed Emotion.   My Dear Mom thought mebbe it was an Indigenous Thing with Indians, since my Dad was the same way and she wasn't sure if his People had Tear Ducts or not?!  I'm not kidding, she thought that and had mine checked by our Pediatrician to make sure I had some!   We do... we just don't use them much I guess...  *LMAO* 

 I call it Maintaining our Calm.  I don't Like my Calm disrupted.  I'm even Calmer when I'm very Angry, chillingly so I'm told.  "You could be a Psychopath Gramma...", is what The Young Prince deducted out of that State of Being?  Shrugs.  *Winks*   I dunno, should you be that Calm when you're about to fuck someone up and Feel nothing about it?  I am.  *Bwahahahahaha*  And becoz you remain Calm and Stoic, even when being provoked, it does tend to make whoever is provoking you reconsider their Options and Behaviors, which is probably a Good Thing... mostly for them.  *Smiles*   Do you really wanna Go There?  I thought not, Wise choice.  Even that Big Criminally Insane Motherfucker in Psyche Lockdown who wanted to Steal my Brownie reconsidered his Options and Behavior immediately... so that he and I didn't have us a "Situation" unfold. 

 I confess that I never Felt a fucking thing Emotionally when I told him what I'd do to him otherwise, coz I wasn't Playing and I had zero Fear of him and I bow down to no Man.  It wouldn't have been pleasant if he'd followed thru with even Touching that Brownie.   Apparently the Prospect of Dying Horribly didn't Appeal to him and he found something to then Live for?  *LOL*  Yeah, he'd already Killed folk, and I hadn't yet, which is why he was there, Criminally Insane and waiting for Trial to determine if it would be DOC {Dept. Of Corrections} or ASH {Arizona State Hospital} Time to be sent up. So he was Going Away for a long time either way.  But, that was the Hill I was willing to Die on, over a Brownie I couldn't even eat, and he apparently was NOT.  I didn't have any Fucks to Give.  And I gave said Brownie away right in front of his Face coz I can't even eat Chocolate, but that wasn't the Point.  And now he Knew this.  That my Crazy and his Crazy were gonna have to maintain a Respectful Distance while we were involuntarily there.  I Knew I'd get out of there, I Knew his Fate was already pretty much Sealed that he wasn't.  And now nobody was getting Coffee anymore either in Psyche Lockdown.  {Part II of said Story... and I'm responsible for that... Oooops... LOL}

And I won't keep New Readers in Suspense about Part II.  The Big Samoan Stud Muffin "Bouncer" in Psyche Lockdown, who was an absolute Handsome Sweetheart, had Befriended me during that 1st Hour of me being there.  Coz I could tell him who was gonna go Psycho before they did and he was intrigued about how I Knew?  And it gave him a Heads Up to Restrain them quickly and have the Upper Hand, making his Job easier.  I Deal with a LOT of Crazy at Home, so, I'm Experienced, let us just say.  *Smiles*  So, he was equally intrigued as to why the biggest, most scariest and dangerous Resident they had at the time had backed down from me when I had unemotionally, calmly and quietly dealt with him?  He could tell by the Guy's expression, that something profound had altered his Behavior and diffused what could have been a very Bad Situation.  One that the Samoan would have had to Deal with, he was Glad he didn't have to, coz that Guy was Big and Insane, plus Homicidal as fuck. They couldn't wait for his Trial Date so they could be rid of him there.  Nobody Liked him much... he was a Problem, I'm a Problem Solver... coz I like Solutions... so...  I was just doing what I do.  Eliminating Problems.  *Smiles*

I told him I just said to the Guy, when he tried to touch and take my Brownie, "We're all here coz we wanna Die, but, do you wanna Die horribly?"  Just Hours before I'd tried to Off myself, so I had no more Fucks to Give.  Just a simple Question posed Calmly.   His Response would dictate the Answer, he chose Wisely.  Now the Samoan was MORE intrigued, but, you're an Old Woman, what did you Think you could or would do to THAT Guy?!  So, I told him.  I always have a Plan of Action, I Think Fast on The Fly and have Grown Up and Lived in some very Dangerous Places where you do have to Hold your own or you ain't making it.  And this Psyche Lockdown Ward mos def looked like a Dangerous Place where anything and everything could happen, probably did happen all the time, and nobody would really give a shit.  Not the Staff, certainly not the Residents!  Nor Society for that matter.  Let us not Pretend we truly Care for or about the Seriously Mentally Ill, it's apparent Society collectively does NOT.

 But, I digress.  Back to the Story.  So... first, even tho' they'd took our Shoelaces and everything so we couldn't hurt ourselves or others... the Plastic Chairs had Chrome Legs.  So, I was gonna pick up my Chair and Wrap it around his Head first, then the Coffee Maker on the Counter beside us was a Normal Coffee Maker.  Curious thing to have on a Psyche Ward thought I, but, handy as a Weapon.  Since the Ward was Mixed Company of all Ages and degrees of Crazy, the moment I hit it I was looking for Defensive Solutions to potential Problems that would certainly arise.  Coz Crazy shit happens around Crazy People all the fucking time and on the turn of a Dime.   And I didn't Know any of these Crazies like I do those at Home... and they didn't Know me either.  So it would all be a Learning Experience and a Hierarchy we would Establish amongst ourselves.   I Planned to Establish my place and position in the Food Chain very early on, so that nobody would Dare to Disrupt my Calm and I'd have an Easy Stay for however long I'd be Held before they deemed me Releasable and "Restored"?  *Bwahahahaha*  Yeah, a Restoration is determined... right, wrong or indifferently.

 So, back to my Options that just happened to be where I'd positioned myself handily for Lunch, an Hour into being there and Scoping things out.  Scalding Hot Coffee, Glass Carafe, so I was gonna grab that, throw Scalding Hot Coffee in his Face, break said Carafe and make a Shiv out of the Broken Glass which I would then stick in his Jugular... all in Self Defense of coarse.  Coz, he was Young, very large powerful violence prone Male, a Homicidal Criminally Insane Defendant already, and I Felt 'Threatened' and I AM just an Old Woman there on Caregiver Burnout Suicide Watch *Winks*... should all hold up in any Court of Law before any Judge or Jury... yep, they immediately took the Coffee Maker away... no more Coffee.  *Bwahahahaha*   And Yeah, my Samoan Friend kept his Eye on me, and we had a lot of sit downs during his Shifts coz he also thought I was Faataulaitu, Samoan for a Witch. 

 So he was quite Reverential for what I might could do without Laying Hands on you too. *Winks and Smiles*  He could have been Right?   My Mom's People do Practice that shit... and even Skeptics usually don't like to Test if it's Myth or might attach really Bad Mojo to them or not?  *LOL... I wouldn't Test it either, very foolish to.  So why risk it?  Winks*  And, since I don't wanna end up in Psyche Lockdown Involuntarily anymore, I do try to mostly Behave myself.  Getting along and Playing Well with others. Sometimes I even Succeed.  Becoz I would consider myself a "Good Witch".  And I do have some Awesome Flying Monkeys here at Home, who you've all come to Know and Love here on the Ole Blog.  *Bwahahaha*   And now we'll End this Post with some Food Porn:

*******

Playfully yours... Dawn... The Bohemian