Procrastination Over... Now I've Been In The Right Head Space To Move Forward

 Today the 14th is The Daughter's 43rd Birthday and Yesterday, the 13th, was Princess T's Boyfriend Rusty's 21st Birthday, so we Celebrated it here with him.  She Decorated her whole Room, which Freaked Eli the Cat Out, he HATED the Balloons and I got light Headed helping her blow them up.  *LOL*  She has a Huge Balloon 21 that was as tall as we are, plus Dozens of regular Balloons, Crepe Paper Streamers hanging from the Ceiling, and cleaned her whole Room so it looked lovely in there for him when he got here.   He's so Quiet and Shy and said it feels Weird being "Legal" and Grown now in every State, with no Adult restrictions.  *Smiles*  He doesn't look 21, you'd think he was in his early Teens actually.

The Daughter sent me a Video of her Oldest Daughter's Kitten and Puppy they took in off the Streets after their Grandma Died.  Being Street Strays they'll eat virtually anything and aren't picky, The Daughter says the Kitten has been Sleeping with her every Night now.  It's a little Grey Tiger Striped scrawny little thing that is very affectionate.  The Pup is a Dingo looking Mongrel, typical Mexican Street Dog, also very affectionate.  The Dingo looking Pup reminds me of the Street Dogs you see on the Reservations here, I have no idea what Mongrel Breed they actually are, or some Wild Dog Breed?  But, every time we go to the Rez's nearby, you always get approached by the Reservation Dingo looking Strays.  They are friendly, Handsome and adept Beggars, always Brown, Midsized and resemble Dingo Australian Wild Dogs to me.

I got outside my own Head and forced myself to tackle the deferred Housekeeping on Sunday Morning, by Afternoon I'd completed 70% of it in the Common Areas.  It wasn't as Overwhelming as I'd Imagined it to be when I was too Inside my own Head.   And, I'm vowing to KEEP it decluttered and tidy now.  Becoz it really does buoy my Mood to have it all in Order, decluttered, Styled and totally functional, with everything where it should be.   I even Decorated the Rooms I'd finished for Halloween and now it looks good and I've got Candles burning and it just has that good Chi Energy that Feels Positive and Uplifting.   I Edited a lot of surfaces too and minimized what's on everything, cleaning as I went, I gained momentum as it began to motivate me to keep going.

I no longer felt Sick and thankfully whatever had ailed me on Saturday only lasted 24 Hours.  Whew!  It was brutal and I'm glad it was brief.  By Tomorrow I should have all the Common Areas decluttered, cleaned and Decorated.  Then I will move to our Boudoir and get that in Order.  The Bathrooms are already done by the Girls, and The Daughter had done the Kitchen before she left for Mexico too.  The Son's Room is always in Order, he's like his Dad, both of them are structured, organized and like things to be where they should be that belong to them.  They are not messy Guys at all so I can never blame any messes on either of them, they're not Guilty.  Both clean as they go whenever they do anything in a Common Area.  I'm the biggest Offender of Clutter and The Daughter is the biggest Offender of dirty Dishes and Clothing all over the place.

Outside of her own Room, Princess T really doesn't spend a lot of Time, so she's not Guilty of any Common Area mess either.   So, I'm my own worse Enemy when it comes to a messy Home, not a dirty one, I can't abide by nasty habits.   I'm Clean, but I'm a Human Magpie and when I'm working on stuff I tend to have it everywhere.  So, now I have got to discipline myself NOT to Price Inventory or have it in any Room of the Main House except the Art Studio Pricing Station area or the one I've set up in the She Shed when it's Cooler and I don't need Climate Control out there to do it.  I know I can abide, it will just take me consistently being disciplined to.  And when I remember how Depressed and Overwhelmed it makes me to have a messy cluttered Home, I should do better.

I have about Three Boxes of Donations to drop off in the Morning to where Princess T Works, and a whole Milk Crate filled with Inventory to Price that I got out of the Main House too.   I don't presently have any room in the Showroom or Locked Case for any more Merch to be brought in and I don't want to Rent more Space.  So, I don't have to Price it right now and can just bring it into the She Shed Tomorrow Morning 'til it can rotate into Inventory.   The She Shed has come in really handy to Organize what is awaiting Pricing and rotation into Inventory.  Or, to have Crated Keep Items awaiting a permanent Placement or rotation into the Main House or RV Garage Mahal.  It keeps them out of the way until I'm ready to Deal with it all, so, creates no Stress Emotionally for me.

Emotional Stress for me doesn't come from having a lot of Stuff, it's from having Stuff not with good or permanent Placement.  If everything looks Editorial and Styled nicely, I don't Care how much or how little of it I have.   But, I do not like Clutter or a Mess, it disturbs my Calm to be around it and bothers me.   If something is where it shouldn't be, my OCD is Triggered.   So, when everything is where it should be, no matter how much or how little of it there is, I'm back to Center and Feel Uplifted and Calmer.  This is why Moving disrupts me so badly, after a Big Move, nothing is instantly how it should be and as I've Aged and ended up with a lot of Cargo, it takes a LOT of Time and Work to get it all unpacked, sorted out and in Order again.  Downsizing Space also makes it so you have to Work on having Less.

We went from 4,350 sf Home to a 2,400 sf Home, so, what could be in the Main House was about half as much.  Then, we ended up with more Family Members moving back Home and all their Worldly Possessions to have to find Placement for as well, so, it's been A LOT to Cope with.  People Moving to a new Property, People Moving In, Moving Out, Moving In again.   Guests, unexpected Expenses and Distractions, so, you get the gist, it's meant 6+ Years later, since moving here in early 2019, I'm still trying to get Settled In completely and Downsize adequately.  Each Property we've owned in the past 20 Years, it just seems to take me longer.  I'm convinced I would never Manage another Move and get everything Done, so this HAS to be the Forever Home now.  *LOL*

I watched all my fav Halloween Shows on The Food Network Sunday Night, and after they were over, went right back to my decluttering, Decorating and tidying up.   Interesting that after Procrastinating for far too long, once I start seeing real Progress, I almost can't pull myself away, the Momentum builds and builds and I tirelessly and happily then dive into it all.  *LOL and Eye Roll*  If only I'd done that to begin with, but, you know how it is, if you get too far Inside your own Head about something you are avoiding for whatever reasons and then think it's all far too overwhelming to tackle, even if it's really not.   I'm notorious about doing that and I should know by now that I can do these things, but, just have to be in the Right Head Space is all.  I even went around snapping Photos for Blog Fodder afterwards.  I'm about 85% done now with the Common Areas.

Since my Paper Shredder Died and got thrown out and hasn't yet been replaced, I even did a Bonfire of what I would have Shred, after it got Dark and was Cooled Off Outside to put it all in the Firepit.  My Neighbor Rob came over and joined me, so we had an engaging and lively discussion about Life in General, and Aging in particular.  He's about 6 Years Younger than me and both of his Parents are still Living and in their 80's.   He knows he's fortunate to still have them around and they're great People, his Parents, but, he and his Dad have a very complex Relationship.   I know that's hard for Rob to still be trying to Live Up to his Dad's expectations and always miss the mark and let his Parents down.   I do think Rob was always a Special Needs Child and I'm not sure how his Family dealt with that or if their expectations were realistic for him?   He feels like I Understand him and he says that's refreshing and Uplifts him, I'm glad to hear that.

I finally also Downloaded all my Photos from having attended the latest Event and Antique Mall Trawl, so, I have Fresh Seasonal Blog Fodder now.   The mini Pumpkins were a Find during Environmental Cleanup.   The tiny Vintage Cracker Jack Prize Skull Keychain was a Find from a fav Vendor, "Rusty Saturday", who, sadly has not put any Halloween Decor out yet and usually they have a fabulous Halloween Vignette at their Antique Mall Space in Nan's Antique Mall "Everything Goes".  I was disappointed they only had that Keychain as anything Halloween Inspired in their Inventory!!!   In the Past they've had some of the best Vintage Halloween I've bought.   And some of the best Halloween Vignettes too.   I don't know if I'll make the Pilgrimage over there before Halloween now or not, it's a long commute.  Especially if they don't do anything... they neglect their Social Media sites now too, so I don't even bother to Link to them anymore, all the Posts are stale and Outdated.

 

I don't have my best Velvet Pumpkins out on this Sofa Table Vignette, but, they'll do.  I'm taking the Lazy Decorator approach to this Holiday this Year and it Works for me.  *Ha ha ha*   Seriously, whatever can get done in Minutes, is the Seasonal Decorating I'm doing.  *Bwahahaha*  Less is More seems to be becoming my New Philosophy, less Work, less expended finite Energy, less to take down later, if I take it down at all?  *LOL*   Like I said before, if I manage to get a Christmas Tree up for Christmas this Year, it will be a Major Accomplishment IMO.  *Winks*  I like to Decorate, don't get me Wrong, and I LOVE the Holidays, I just really don't have it in me to go All Out right now and so I'm just not.  And, I'm Strangely Okay with it, which is out of Character for me really, perhaps I'm going thru some kind of Metamorphosis, I dunno?

The Family were Delighted I put the Halloween Candy Bowl out, I don't partake, but some of them do, mostly The Man.  Princess T and I don't eat Chocolate, The Son eats it sparingly, The Man has the Sweet Tooth.  And he is like a Man Child when it comes to Treats, I think his Parents must have deprived him of them growing up?   My Parents always had a Candy Dish out 365 and so my Brother and I hardly ever partook of it, so, it was mostly out for Guests who visited.   My Parents always used Psychology like that... if something wasn't 'Forbidden' and made available all the time, Kids are a whole lot less likely to overindulge in it and might avoid it altogether.   I used the same tactic with both Generations I Raised and all Four of them aren't big Treat Eaters.  In fact, I'd say 99.9% of any Halloween Candy they Scored, they gave away to Friends or to their Dad/Grandpa to eat.  Which was Handy for him otherwise he'd be stealing it sneakily anyway from them all.  *LOL*

Growing up our fav Treats were Fresh Fruits and Raw Veggies with Dips, or Nuts in the Shells and we always had Nutcrackers around to crack them with.  Every Christmas we got such things as Oranges, Nuts, Apples and Bananas in our Stockings and we actually looked forward to that.   We didn't know it at the time, but we were relatively Poor, so it was not often we got Fresh Fruits and they weren't always readily available in some places we Lived either, especially Overseas.   My Mom and her Family had never even seen a Banana until she was Grown and met my Dad and he brought some Home to them from the Base!   Back then apparently they didn't Import such Exotic things in her Small Welsh town and mostly they'd been on Ration during and since WWII as well.  So Food in general was scarce and Rationed.  Mom remembers they pretended to have a Dog so they'd get Rations of Dog Biscuits, which, she and her Siblings ate like Cookies as a Treat and Protein.

Dad, growing up impoverished on the Reservation, ate what he called really Stupid things as Meals.  Things like Saltine Crackers in Warm unpasturized Cow's Milk... and Noodles with Warm unpasturized Cow's Milk and some Brown Sugar sprinkled on top... as Main Meals and sometimes that's all they had to eat all Day!!!   He never saw a Doctor or a Dentist in his Life until he joined the Military.   If a Child got really Sick, a great many of them just Died... he lost Two Brothers who Died or were just Lost in Childhood, at the Indian Schools they were sent to.  His Brother Richard Died of what was likely Malnutrition, and his Brother Ormal was "Lost" at Age 9 and nobody ever knew what became of him and the Family were never given any Closure of whether he was Alive or Deceased.  I can't even Imagine that kind of Childhood Mortality being considered Normal or Acceptable.  It's why my Dad would often Work tirelessly at 2-3 Jobs to ensure we never went Hungry or had lack, like he did growing up. 

I've been Hungry and Homeless, as an Adult during hard times, it ain't no Fun to have Food Insecurities or be Unhoused.  Yes, obviously I need to Dust, but then again, does it make it look Spookier and more Miss Havisham?  *Winks*   Plus, we don't expect a lot of Company around Halloween inside the House, so, whatever...  I did Clean and Dust some Furniture, but this Leaded Antique Glass Window Top Sofa Table has damage from a time when it fell during transport, so I don't like to mess with it too much.  It used to have a thick Glass cover over the Antique Window, but, that broke when the transport of it didn't realize the Glass Top and the Window weren't permanently affixed inside the Table built around them and could drop out thru the Top if it was turned Sideways.   Thankfully nobody got Hurt, but my Son, the Glazier, never got around to cutting me a replacement Glass to cover and protect the now damaged Antique Window either.  *Le Sigh*   So, I may or may not Dust it before Halloween... *Bwahaha*

This is the best Pix I could manage to get of my Metal Black Widow Spider with the Pyrite Ass in a Jar with Cotton Boll Web, that I Sourced at our Antique Mall from a fav Vendor who has Interesting and Unique Halloween Merch.   I just Love Interesting OOAK Decorations like that and the Vendor makes a lot of the Decor herself and Sells them Cheaply.  I don't add a lot of New Decorations for Holidays anymore, but, when I see something really Special or different, I will Buy it if the Price Point is right.  I Sourced these John Lennon Style Amber Tinted Lens Doll Glasses for my Taxidermy Goose to wear for Halloween {below}... it's part of her Costume.   They should be lower on her Head, I know, but then they fall off... so... we work with what we can make work.   And... she Cares not about the Placement.  *LOL*

Below was one of the only Halloween Inspired Vignettes still left at the Event, along with a few Primo OOAK Witches Hats my Friend Shelly had Created.   So, everything else really wasn't Seasonally Inspired enuf to hold my Interest and we were in and out quickly, since, I was still looking for Seasonal Inspiration or Decor.   There's nothing I want or need that's not Seasonal right now and so... it was a Swipe Left Moment for me when I realized most everywhere was fresh out of Halloween Merch and so... Yawn... I really came away quite disappointed, since, it is October folks!!!   So... WTF?!?   Those that haven't done it at all yet, I'm Wondering, if not in Mid-October, when would you expect to roll it out then?!   Those that come late to the Party, are missing the Window of Opportunity to Sell their Seasonal Decor IMO.   You can't wait 'til just Days before a Holiday to expect to move the Seasonal Inventory for it.  That Ship done Sailed...

Below was a Francophile Vendor that does everything French and I don't think she really was shooting for Halloween Vignettes, but, her Authentic Flapper Merch sure would make a great Costume all the same!!!   The Flapper Headpieces were Stunning, and Expensive, but, I J'Adore that Era's Style and my Maternal Nanna wore a lot of it in her Day.  In fact, she got Married to my Gran-Grand wearing a Flapper Ensemble that was flashy and fabulous, she was a Vision.   My Nanna had been on the Stage as an Actress, Dancer and Performer, so, she was very Theatrical her whole Life.   All her Family had Wonderful Singing Voices and could play just about any Instrument.  Her Dad was an Orchestra Conductor.  In fact, my Mom was the only Member of her entire Family who didn't have a fabulous Singing Voice.   But, my Mom was a Talented Dancer and did Ballroom Dancing, Tap Dancing and Ballet for many Years. 

Her Older Brother, my Uncle Syd, had a Voice as good as Tom Jones and could sing Opera beautifully.   Her Younger Sister, my Aunt Angela, had a Voice very similar to Judy Garland.   My Gran-Gran could Sing too, he had a Rich Baritone, and could Sing in several Languages, even tho' he could neither Read nor Write, since, he never went to School, many Didi Kai didn't in those days.   I still remember my Gran-Gran entertaining me by singing Pirate Songs, while drinking Jamaican Rum, which was his favorite Beverage.  *LOL*   And my Nanna would entertain all the Kids by doing Pantomimes.  She'd dress up and all, just to entertain a bunch of little Kids... Nanna was a Colorful Character her entire Life and I just Adored her.  I was her First Grandchild so she spoiled me my whole Life... mostly from a Distance, since, my Dad was Career Military and went where ever they sent him.   But, I kept in touch with my Nanna 'til the Day she Died.   I knew Gran-Gran could neither Read nor Write, but she told me she'd Read him my Letters. 

My Native American Grandma would always send us Homemade Toys she made out of Flour Sack Materials and scraps of Materials, we Cherished those Primitive Toys too.   To this day I Wish I'd kept some of them since they were definitely Native American Folk Art that surely would be highly Collectible now.   I do have some Navajo and Hopi Dolls that are Vintage or Antique, and remind me of the Toys my Paternal Grandma made for me while I was growing up.  She'd make Animal Toys for my Brother.   My Dad used to make us a lot of the Clothing and Toys we had while growing up too, he could make anything.   I remember when I got my first Barbie Dolls, my Dad would make all their Outfits for me.   I'd see some Actress on TV wearing something Cool and ask my Dad to make their Outfit for my Barbie... just by Sight he'd whip one up just like it, don't know how he did that, it's very Impressive Skill.  He made all the Bridesmaids Dresses for their Wedding too.

Even tho' he was only an A1C in the Air Force and only in his Early 20's, when they Married, he ordered my Mom a Couture Wedding Gown from Paris, Orchids for her Bouquet, and an African Blue Water Diamond Wedding Ring from South Africa.   I think Mom said he'd saved up for the Two Years they were Engaged to pay for the Dream Wedding she wanted and her whole Town showed up for it and it was in all the Newspapers.   I still have the Newspaper Clippings she Saved of it, with their Photo in front of her Church, which was a very Old Gothic Cathedral that looked like a Renaissance Medieval Era Castle to me.   In fact, it could have actually been that Old.  *LOL*   I do know that her Town does have the Ruins of an actual Castle that was built during King Edward's Reign and Campaign to conquer Wales in 1277 and it was the first Castle built as what would later be known of as part of King Edward's "Iron Ring".   It was destroyed in 1647 during the Uprisings and Revolts, so it couldn't be used again.  Picture of it Below:

 

I got to visit the Ruins of Flint Castle when I visited my Welsh Relatives in the early 1970's.   No American Military Bases remain in Wales now like they did when my Dad met my Mom and was Stationed there in the early 1950's.   Anyway, I digress, the Flapper Dress below resembles the one my Nanna wore at her Wedding, only hers was White, but, just as flashy and Stylish.   I don't know which Relative might now still have her Wedding Pix, I'd like to know so I might get a Copy of it, but, I'm only in touch with one Male Cousin in Wales now who uses The Book of Faces, so, we can keep in Touch across the Pond.  He's one of my few Welsh Relatives that has also visited and even Worked in America.  Since he's a Welder and worked Globally when Nuclear Power Plants were being Built in various Countries, including ours.

Below is my Cousin with his Dear Wife, who I just Love dearly too.  The last time we were together in Person, my Cousin and I, we were Young Teenagers, Younger than my Grandkids are now.  Time Flies.  In fact, his Daughter looks a lot like I did when I was her Age.  He's usually only visited the East Coast of the U.S. and not so much the West Coast, but, if they ever make another trip across the Pond I'd like them to stop by Arizona to see us.   I don't know that The Man would understand them, he never could understand my Uncle, so I'd always have to Translate.  *LOL*   But, then again, The Man could barely understand my Mom either and I'd often have to translate for her with many Americans.  Or even with her Doctor, who was from India, she couldn't understand him and he couldn't understand her, so I'd translate for both of them, which was hilarious becoz everyone was speaking English... but, they had their thick Native Language Accents.  *LMAO*  When you have a Parent whose first language wasn't English, you learn to be good with Accents. 

*******

Autumnal Vibes coming to you from the Arizona Desert, where it's still 105 Degrees or more every Day so it doesn't much Feel like Fall yet... Dawn... The Bohemian

Prophesy And Premonitions

 

I never did feel Well enuf to leave the house, I mostly Slept all day and just waited for when Princess T needs to be picked up from Work.  The Son said he also has the symptoms.  Must be something making it's rounds, he knows other people complaining of having it, whatever "It" is?  I haven't minded staying in Bed, I've needed the Rest and that way I wasn't reactive to The Man being cranky and irritable either, in a room alone watching TV he can't get difficult with himself.  *Bwahahaha*  The Son is gonna Order something in for Dinner, which is good, neither he nor I feels good enuf to Cook for everyone.  So, Bummer that I missed that 2nd Annual Event at "Curious Nature", it was only Hosted One Day.

The consolation I have is that it was probably too well attended and crowded, which wouldn't have worked out for Parking or a leisurely pleasurable experience.  I didn't need or want to purchase anything, so I had no sense of urgency to get something from it and didn't have the Budget even if I had seen something Primo.  Plus, I have felt like Crap, have low Energy and no Motivation to do much but Sleep this off either.  I'm hoping it passes quickly, which, it probably will.  It sounds like the Norovirus that is currently circulating in the U.S..  There's no real Treatment other than prevention.   And, with Food borne Viruses it's hard to know what could have been contaminated, even if you take special Care with what you eat, how you handle it, and where you Source it. 

 

 With our Family we prefer Snacking on Fresh Fruits and Raw Veggies with Dips rather than Junk Foods or Sweets.  I'm going to be double Washing everything just to ensure it's not got Viral Contamination on it remaining from whoever handled it from Farm to Grocer to Table.  The Anti-D Meds did help with only a single dose, but, the other general malaise and fatigue remained thruout the Day.   I personally don't have to go to Work again until Friday so have plenty of Down Time to recover.  I only spend a few Minutes Daily taking the Grandchild to and from her Work close by.  Other than that, I can take it easy and pace myself.  And I will.  I haven't minded languishing actually.  I need to.

This was last Halloween and we couldn't even locate that Trio of Faux Pumpkins this Year.  They're likely in one of several Antique Steamer Trunks I have temporarily stacked right now in The RV Garage Mahal and thus can't get into yet.   Even tho' she wore what her Gay Boy Posse called her Bad Bunny Costume, I don't know that's what she's gonna be for Halloween this Year or not?  *LOL*  She was an Adorably Sexy Bad Bunny and I should have taken some Pixs of her that First Friday of this Month, but, I was at Work when she got dressed and left for it and we were both tired when we both got Home much later.  The Pixs her Friends took were Oddly with a throw away Old School Camera and not their expensive Cellphone Cameras, go figure that they'd go Old School that Night and get Retro Grade grainy Pixs!?  *Le Sigh and LOL* 

For lack of good Halloween current Blog Fodder Imagery I'm resurrecting some Archived Halloween Eye Candy Pixs I had.   Most of which I never used coz I had such an abundance those previous Halloween Seasons.   I'm openly disappointed that this Year is lean and I'm convinced there is mostly Supply Issues, not Demand Issues.  If you have the Merch, it's Selling, so, if Shops don't have the Merch it's becoz they probably couldn't get it, not that they don't think they couldn't Sell it.  The only place that had an abundance of Halloween Merch, sloppily presented and poorly Showcased and not properly respected for being Donated to them, was the Goodwills.  They had an abundance of New Old Stock Donated to them from Big Box Stores previous Seasons Lines and they manhandled a lot of it and Displayed it haphazardly as if they didn't Care, overpriced much of it, but, they at least had it.

When nobody else has it, well, they didn't even need to try, did they?  And they didn't try IMO, it was rather tragic how their Employees handled the Donations of it and put it out on the Floor.   But, then again, I always say I can clearly see why those they Hire do have "Barriers To Employment".  Most behave in such a way that most places wouldn't hire them or would end up having to fire them or at least counsel them and put them on Probation in hopes to improve their performance and Customer Service.   I've yet to visit any Goodwill Store where an Employee acts like they Care they even have the Job or don't have a Bad Attitude that they project upon the Customers.   And the Stores are always a Hot Mess and it's not all the fault of whose Shopping, it's how it's sloppily and carelessly put out on the Floor, I've watched it.  It's also why I never Donate to their Organization any more and put them on blast.  They need to tighten up their Business Model and clean up their Act.

 

Anyway, lots of Secondhand and other Charity Shops are Closing up, so, it's not like I want more of them to fail, I don't.   It's where most folks on a Budget do Shop, including Yours Truly.   I basically Clothed my Two Generations of Kiddos we Raised utilizing Chazzas.  Since, buying Children's Clothing at full Retail was prohibitive for a long time now, and they outgrow it all so fast and want the popular Brands and certain Fashions.  I don't even Buy much Wardrobe or Accessories myself at full Retail and don't really like the mass produced selections of most either.  It's a Rush to find Secondhand Treasures at a good price point that is not only affordable, but, can be profitable for Resale too.   And most Vendors I know aren't Downsizing like I am, a great many of them Source all of their Inventory and don't already own it from a Lifetime of having Collected it and are now Letting Go or Cashing Out on previous Investments.

In fact, when I look at what a lot of Vendors at our Antique Mall carry in their Inventory, it's evident they weren't specific or Collectors per se of any Genre of Antiques, Vintage or Collectibles.  *Le Sigh*   I think a lot of Antique Malls now just have Vendors trying to make side income any kind of way they can and Selling anything they can hawk.   Most Antique Mall Owners now are glorified Landlords and as long as all their Rental Space is Rented and the Rent gets Paid, they aren't necessarily Vetting either.   Some are, but, I've noticed those are struggling becoz frankly, Antiques, Vintage and Collectibles don't appeal to the average Impulse Shopper that is now the primary Demographic coming thru the Doors.  It used to be the Consummate Collector or those with a Love of Old was your Client, now it's just not.  Even the Events have morphed and have more Import and Filler Mass Produced Items now than the Real Deal Merch anymore.  It's what their Customers want, will pay for, and thus Sells.

I know we have gone in a different direction in our Showroom that's paying off better, even tho' I still Downsize and bring in what I already have.   Now at least I know what's not worth bothering to try to Sell there and find other ways to Cash Out on it or just Donate it and be done with it.   I haven't Sold Online ever tho' yet, not sure I want all the Work you'd have to put in to Online Selling and Shipping it?   Vendors I know who do that too have profited from it handsomely, but, they will admit it takes more Work and Time to do it properly and successfully.  Plus, Online Selling and the Auction or Resale sites have morphed a lot too.  Not always in the best way for Sellers.   The same with Selling at Private Auction Houses, they take such a Cut that nobody I knows Sells there, they just Buy there.

As Creepy as you all know I can be and gravitate to, I have never been to an Estate Sale of a Dead Person, it just seems intrusive to me to be rooting thru their Worldly Possessions.   I've been to Estate Sales of the Living, that seems consensual to me, they're Agreeing to the Sale and folks rooting thru their Stuff.   With Spirit, who knows how they might Feel about it from the other side?   We already know some Objects get Attachments and certain Energy, good or bad, so, I just don't have a Peace about going thru a Dead Person's Stuff, that's all.   Tho' everyone I know who goes to a good Estate Sale gets Primo Merch Sourced from them, so... perhaps one day I can overcome my aversion and reluctance, I dunno?   I'd have to Sense how the Energy and Mojo Feels at one to me to know if I'd wanna stay or leave immediately?  *LOL*  How my Heirs decide to dispose of my Stuff doesn't matter to me at all, I want them to Benefit from it any kind of way they are able.

We have a running Joke with all my Industry Friends that they want my Heirs to have them all on Speed Dial when I Cross Over.  *Bwahahaha*  I have Promised not to Haunt any of them and to descend upon the Spoils and be Free with their Money and spend a lot of it.  *Winks*  I know my Heirs will be Wise Negotiators and aren't ignorant of Values, but, they also enjoy the Art of the Deal and working their Hustle, they're not 'New' at it.  A Successful Negotiation is when both Parties are Happy with the Outcome and want to Work with each other again.   If you spend a lot with me I'll always hook you up and give you those First Cousin Deals, we'll both part Happy.  *Winks*  I know I like it when I Work something out that I'm Happy about as a Buyer and so is the Seller... or vice versa.   I've been the Buyer and the Seller of Successful Negotiations and Exchanges, it's a Rush.

My Sidekick for Years has been Princess T, she's the one that's most enjoyed our Time spent as Vendors at the Antique Mall and she's Grown Up doing it.  She was about Five when we got our First Booth.  But, since she was about Two she'd successfully Negotiate her own Deals at Flea Markets and Antique Mall Parking Lot Sales.   She's quite an adept lil Hustler and was very much like my Parents told me I was at the same Ages.  We lived in France when I was Two and my Mom would take me to the French Flea Markets with her.   I'd sometimes wander off and Negotiate for Product in several Languages and even when I had no Money I'd end up with Stuff that the French, Algerian and Gypsy Vendors were hawking.  *LOL*   

 

My Mom's fav Story was that I ended up, at Age Two, with a new Pair of Patent Leather Shoes and a little Basket Handbag with matching Chapeau for Easter that I Negotiated and had no Money to actually pay for any of it!  They wouldn't let my Mom give it back, she didn't have Money to pay for it all... they'd been Tickled with my Hustle.  *LOL*  I have Black and White Pixs of me wearing them, with a big Ole Band-aid on my Knee.  *LOL*   I Wish I had that Pix in my Photo Archive to Share with you as Testimony.  I looked so Prissy in it all and since my Dad was only an A1C in the American Military, and my Mom a stay at Home Housewife, so my Family were quite Poor, they couldn't have afforded that Outfit that I Hustled out of the Flea Market Street Vendors that day.  *Smiles*  In fact, I was such a good and tough Negotiator that my Parents often let me Negotiate FOR them, even as a Child... and Princess T is very much like that too.

I never have gotten any Halloween Decorations done inside the House, except the Guest Bedroom Displays of it that stay up Year Round.  Now I won't bother, I've got so much Housekeeping to do decluttering all Spaces and getting them presentable and Editorial, that I'm going to have to devote all my Energies to that Goal.   I'll be challenged this Year to put a Christmas Tree up, I kid you not, it's like that.  *Le Sigh*  Part of it is my Psyche, I feel unsettled in my Spirit lately and it makes it difficult for me to concentrate on the mundane tasks like Housekeeping, Decluttering, Decorating.   I WANT to have it done, I just lack all Motivation and Ambition to follow through with it all right now.  I've cut myself some slack to try to be in the right Head Space to do it all.  Which is why I've done Recreational Pursuits I enjoy to try to get back to Center and Uplift my Spirit to be more Balanced.  I have a Foreboding and I know it and can't shake it.

Only part of it is Political Foreboding, tho' there is THAT too, and it's less than a Month before all that begins to actually play out.  Which means we'll get thru Halloween barely, but, not the rest of the Holiday Season after the results are known about who gets Elected and what that will mean and what will happen either way?   Only now are people I know beginning to actually Voice their Concerns, regardless of who Wins or Loses, and the general consensus is not promising or good.  It seems a lot more people have had the same thoughts I've had, they just haven't voiced them before now.  They seemed relieved to have someone else to discuss it with who can relate to their worries about it all and concerns for the Future and the Nation.  Since Politics has become such a divisive issue in a most Violent and unprecedented fucked up way, I guess a lot of folks have just remained Silent and bottled it up. 

So, now they just can't remain Silent becoz it's like when any disaster is imminent, ignoring it or not talking about it and what one should do, isn't gonna be Helpful in the Outcome.  I think Safety is a big concern, whenever chaos reigns and violence becomes unchecked or out of control, and we all saw it happen January 6th, there's no telling how dire things can become everywhere or anywhere?   Communities are already dealing with unprecedented Weather disasters from which they haven't even recovered and the Government needs to be focused upon and not diverted with other Crisis or Chaos to Deal with.  So, I can see where America can be vulnerable and spread too thin all at once.  Been there and done that in my Personal Life, and no matter how Noble inclined you might be, Too Much is just Too Much at some point. 

It is still rather Fresh, at least in my Mind, how people reacted during a once in a Century Pandemic.  Things got hairy and dire, to say the least, and it was rather terrifying at certain points and you didn't know when or if it would End.  People turned on one another like a Zombie Apocalypse, the Infected and the Uninfected... the Careful and the Covidiots... the Masked and the Unmasked.  We live near a large Cemetery and there were constant Funeral Processions going by Daily.  I recall standing in a large Grocery Store that had all empty Shelves and ONE thing remaining in the whole Store... a Jar of Pickled Pig's Feet.  Princess T was with me and we were trying to Source some Essentials and it was quite Surreal and people were literally Panicking around us.  There was nothing to Buy and we looked at each other and our Gallow's Humor just kicked in and she Deadpanned, "Well, at least we now know what Fear Factor Food nobody would eat even if we're faced with Starvation!" *LMAOROTF*

 

 We burst into raucous Laughter and I ALMOST was Tempted to just Buy the damned Jar of Pickled Pig's Feet and put it in my Cabinet Of Curiosities as a Reminder of that Crisis... should we Survive it!  *LOL*  And now, I guess in the back of my Subconscious, I'm contemplating, well, if all Hell breaks loose or some other Catastrophic Event is on the Horizon that I can only sense in my Spirit, what difference does it make if my Home is Tidy... or not?  *Yeah, that's Deep, but, it's a nagging Thought I cannot Shake and it's deeply disturbing to me!*   I have a solid Premonition that the Disturbance in the Force is Great right now my Friends and I don't like it, I want desperately to be Wrong about the Foreboding.   I want to be able to come back on my Blog after the New Year and say, well, that Premonition was way off, sorry about that.  But it sure did Feel like a scarily accurate one I couldn't fucking shake and finally just gave up trying to.

The Son apologized to me, since he can see I am Agitated like I usually get when something Bad is gonna happen and I know I can't stop or divert it, but Know it's coming.  And when you Know it's coming and everyone else is acting like nothing is Wrong and just jolly going about regular stuff and you just can't becoz it's disturbing you too much, it feels very Surreal.   I remember doing the 2000 Census and having that Foreboding hit me while we were Counting a Family preparing for a Birthday Party for a Child.  It was Festive, the Day was Beautiful, everything in the Neighborhood was Calm, yet, I Knew something VERY Bad was gonna happen there, SOON.  My Census Translator, Delphina, was a Middle Aged Sweet Lady who was a Jehovah's Witness, and I knew shit like Predictions would Spook her from her standpoint of her Faith.  I didn't want her thinking she was working alongside a Witch or Sorceress and Freak Out.  *LOL*

BUT, I wasn't just gonna run off with no explanation either and leave her behind, my Conscience wouldn't let me.  I didn't even Like that the Sweet Family we'd just Counted I KNEW would be in Real Danger very Soon and there was nothing I could really do about it that would make Sense to them all.  Explaining a Solid Premonition is hard, details can be murky but still have uncanny accuracy.  You can't always tell someone how or why and just a Blanket Statement isn't always convincing anyway, people won't take you Seriously.  So, I just told Delphina with urgency to my Voice, "We gotta get out of here NOW, something REALLY BAD is gonna happen.  Don't ask, just GO!"   To my Surprise she Trusted me enuf, with how long we'd worked together and bonded, to not Question me and we both split in a big hurry.  We didn't even stop to Count any more Residences, we were booking to my Truck parked just down the short Street we were on.

We didn't even get there before we heard the Gunshots, Three of them.  The Man at the time, for my general Safety, since we were doing Census in a very notoriously Dangerous Barrio, had his Police Scanner on.  He knew I was on Hopi Street and the Police were being dispatched there to a Triple Murder/Suicide that just happened!   Yep, THAT House, turns out the Mother Hosting said Child's Party was estranged from her Husband and at the Party with her new Boyfriend.   The Husband shows up, Murders her and the new Boyfriend in front of his own Children ON the One Child's Birthday, in front of all the Guests, then commits Suicide in front of them all too!  Had we not split, we would have Witnessed it as well... I'm sure glad we didn't.  What a Trauma and Chaos on a Day that should have been Calm and Joyful as it was when we were there just Minutes beforehand!  How did I KNOW?  I can't tell you, I don't know HOW or WHY Premonitions come, just that they do, I don't like it, but, it can sometimes be Helpful.

*******

As my Dear Ole' Mom told me about them... however murky the Details you're Given with Prophesy, to be Forewarned is to be Forearmed...  Dawn... The Bohemian

A Dark Post

 

I'll explain shortly in the Post why it's gonna be a Dark One.  First tho', I had to Share this Pix of a 1967 Olds 70-X Toronado, since, I've never actually seen one in person, so, didn't know they even existed.   Really radically cool Design inside and out, tho' it only gets 12 miles per Gallon, so, probably why you don't see any on the Road these days?  *LOL*  And, many were Custom made and limited production.   But, as far as Vintage Futuristic looking Sports Muscle Cars go, this is Primo!!!  Jay Leno has one and I'm sure they're all in Private High End Collections, those that still exist.  So, starting my Post with Muscle Car Vintage Eye Candy sets a good tone, even tho' I woke up Saturday Morning not feeling Well at all.  *Le Sigh*  I won't even go into the Gallow's Humor about how having The Shits halts any Fun you might have scheduled or planned for the Weekend.  *Winks*  But, I can give you some hilarious Halloween Decorations Visuals from a Video Clip someone Shared with me and I took some Stills of, it's Brilliant!  *Bwahaha*

I have no idea what set off this Episode since I haven't had an Appetite for Days due to my Sour Stomach and haven't eaten much.  But, now I have to stay near a Bathroom and that sucks coz Today is the 2nd Annual Halloween Event at CURIOUS NATURE, which is an Oddities Shop in Downtown Phoenix.  We missed the 1st Annual Event last Year becoz when we got there, no Parking for Miles, it was that well attended!  I had The Man in tow and he can't Walk for Miles, so, we just aborted the Mission to attend and went Home.   Now, with my "Issue", unless it subsides, with the help of Anti-D Meds, I couldn't risk it... dammit!   They often Host unusual Events and Classes.  Recently they had a Tea Leaf Reading Class and I would have liked to of been in on that, since my Mom used to Read Tea Leaves.  I grew up seeing her doing such things and so I'd have been Interested to see how this Instructor did it, compared to Dear Ole Mom's Didi Kai Methods? *Smiles*

Mom used to tell me which Fortune Tellers and Soothsayers were Legit and which were Frauds.  The Frauds always got really nervous around her and the Legits would recognize her as one of their own, without her saying a Word.   The Interesting thing is, if you approach a Legit and you're Legit, even from behind where they can't see you coming, they will immediately turn around and look at you, locking Eyes.  It's as if they Sense that someone with similar Abilities has approached, entered their Space and Orbit, like a Disturbance in The Force, so to speak.  *LOL*  When we go to the Renaissance Festivals I remember The G-Kid Force would always be fascinated to see if the alleged "Gypsies" there would do that as we approached... or not?   If they instinctively did, well, chances are you'd probably get a Good and Accurate Reading from that one and not some bullshit.  *Winks*

The 27th will be the 8th Anniversary of my Dear Mom Passing, I still miss her and Dad so much.  He passed almost a Decade earlier, he was 74 and she was 84 when they Crossed Over from Time into Eternity.  The Odd thing being, he was never Sick a Day in his Life, I kid you not, he missed One Day of Work ever, from having Broken Ribs, not Sickness.  I never saw my Dad get usual Sickness that people often experience.  Whereas she was Sickly all her Life, yet, she lasted a lot longer, go figure.   Dad used his own Homemade Tribal Remedies for everything too, whereas Mom was quite reliant on Western Medicine, which, Dad and I never liked and didn't Trust at all.   She'd also use Eastern Medicine, since her Dad was Raised by a Chinese Family and so she grew up with Chinese Methods of Healing as well.  I Trust Eastern and Tribal Medicine, it aides the Body to do what it does Naturally... your Body wants to Heal, you don't have to tell it to try to, it's Designed to attempt to repair itself Naturally. 

Now for some Food Porn, I've had a lot of good Imagery of that lately that I want to Share and at Special Requests from Dear Readers, will try to in each Post.  *Winks*   This is a Pineapple Chicken Curry Dish.  I Love a good Curry, all of them.   I'm particularly fond of Thai Curry Recipes, but, East Indian and Pakistani ones are Classic.   I just don't eat much East Indian Cuisine, except for Naan.   I will try most Dishes at least once, twice if I like it, but, am not as familiar with some Cuisines as the ones I grew up eating regularly.   I grew up eating a lot of Asian Cuisine so I'm just more familiar with it and what I like of it.   Thai and Vietnamese are my favorite, I like most Chinese too.   Not a big Fan of Japanese or Korean food tho'.   I do like most Polynesian Food I've tried and there's more of it Locally now that a larger Population of Polynesian and Melanesian Islanders from Hawaii, Fiji, Tonga and American Samoa have moved to Arizona and brought their rich Cultures with them.

Even tho' I can't eat a damned thing right now, since it would just run thru me, looking at tasty Food Porn is still enjoyable.  I have no Appetite anyway whatsoever and haven't had for Days, so I don't even know how anything is still left in my System, honestly?  I'm sure glad Princess T's Work is just half a Block from Home, so I can get her there on a quick turnaround this Morning!   My Stomach is making those Horror Movie type noises loudly!  *LOL*   Luckily I was Fine all of Yesterday so my Shift Friday Night was uneventful.  In fact, it was boring, just like Thursday Night had been.  I had Strong Sales for Friday, but, the Mall was pretty deserted, so, I was just fortunate whoever was there was Buying and chose some of my Merch to Purchase.  *Whew*  We had barely over 200 People thru the Door, which is dismal and way less than half the usual flow of Customers.   The usual flow for a Weekend would be around 800-900, just for perspective.  On a Sale Day, over 1,000.

We had Fill-Ins again, since my Friend Richard is not Well and misses most of his regular Shifts now, but seems unwilling to give them up permanently yet.    So, Jackson was there, but Judith was Filling-In again, both of them are Friends of mine and so it was a pleasant Shift even tho' a dull one.   One Customer I helped was Celebrating his 35th Anniversary and Secretly Buying his Wife her Anniversary Pressies and asking my Opinion about his Choices.  I think he done Good and she'll be Happy with what he chose, nice Guy, it was enjoyable waiting on him and Sweet that he was still excited about Surprising her for their Anniversary after 35 Years Together.   The Man has never been Big on Anniversaries, Birthdays or even Holidays.  He'd rather I just spend whatever I want on whatever I want and he NOT have to go Shop for any of it.   I am Cool with that, since, I Surprise HIM with what Great Generous Gifts he got for me!   He's very Good to me.  *LOL and Winks*

I do feel Emotionally pretty miserable being tied to a Bathroom this Morning and really hoping the Anti-D will Work it's Wonders and relieve me of this Situation by early Afternoon?   The Event is 11:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. so, all Body Parts Crossed that by around 10:00 A.M. I'm feeling back to Normal again?   I won't risk eating anything and am just intaking plenty of Fluids to keep adequately Hydrated, since we're still getting Triple Digit Temps all Week long that are STILL blasting past previous Heat Records, by a LOT!   Even long standing Records are being broken Daily now, it's ridiculous, 2024 will go down as the most Record Breaking Heat related Year EVER... well, unless every subsequent Years get worse?   This is why I was FORCED to spend Thirty-Five Grand on AC Related Ductwork, Insulation Updated/Upgraded and AC Repairs to get our Units and Home as fortressed against the extreme Heat as possible.  In the long run it will Save Money, tho' I don't like having that added Debt load, I ain't gonna Lie, Rates/Terms weren't Ideal right now for Financing Big Ticket Expenses.  *Le Sigh*

I know, I know, it's a pretty Dark Post, since, I'm not Feeling 100% and so my Mood is as Sour as my Stomach feels right now.  *LOL*  I feel like these Stomach Bugs are going around and no Idea where we're picking them up and keep picking them up?   Of coarse it is The Season for every transmittable Illness out there, isn't it?   Now that I'm not Isolating at Home the exposure is higher... and, we are a 3 Generation Family, so the 2 Younger Gens are out and about around People a lot more than The Man and I are.   We're still pretty Solitary Seniors in our Habits, we like doing things out in Nature and not necessarily around a lot of other People.   And even when we go places like Restaurants or Shopping, we avoid the more crowded venues, mostly since The Man easily gets Sensory Overload and does have a Fragile Medically compromised Situation going on all the time.  So, I don't like to expose him to any unnecessary risk factors Healthwise.

He seems Fine, so I Hope whatever I have isn't contagious?   Princess T and I seem to be the only ones suffering from whatever it is, The Son and The Man haven't gotten whatever it is.  Well, I got her to Work with no Incident, yay!  Small Victory, perhaps the Meds are working? *LOL*  I got all my Morning Errands accomplished, Kiddo to Work, Cat Fed and Litterbox cleaned, Fish Fed... so, now all I have to do is Chill and feel better.  *Smiles*   Yes, the Housekeeping is still somewhat deferred, just cluttery, not unclean, and all Dishes are Washed since The Offender of Dirty Dishes won't be back from Mexico 'til 2025.  *LOL*  The Son, Princess T, The Man and I always Clean as we go in the Kitchen, so, it never backs up... this is NOT her Habit.   And, she won't even drink out of the same Glass twice!!! *Le Sigh*  But, we do miss her and she's Homesick as Hell right now, so she gets Emotional every time we have a Video Chat with her.  She is liking the Serenity and Boredom of our Home Life.  *Yay, that's Progress for her.*

You have to remember that The Daughter has always lived her Teen and Adult Life on the Razor's Edge, so, this is remarkable that she is gravitating to our Lifestyle now she's in her 40's.  I'm relieved, it was necessary to keep her Safe and on Track, maintain her Sobriety from a Dangerous Drug Lifestyle that was adverse to being Well and Stabilized.  She said prolonged Sobriety has been a huge transition, she's seeing and experiencing Life thru Fresh Eyes and a Fresh Clearer Filter now, only Clouded by her Mental Illness, but not Magnified or Dulled by Drug Use.  She still Drinks, but has cut back to Two Mike's Hard Lemonades Daily, which, helps with the Schizophrenia some, since, it takes The Edge Off.  I think complete Sobriety might be difficult for her since there is no Cure for her Serious Mental Illness Conditions and it's something she will have to just Live with all her Life as best she can.   She is concerned about her Kiddos there seeing her during unstable Episodes, they haven't been around her enuf to Witness those before.  She Hopes it doesn't upset or scare them?

Princess T has handled them well actually, so perhaps her Younger Sisters will be equally resilient and compassionate?   Princess T instantly realized and recognized, when her Mom came to live with us about 3 Years ago, that there would have been no way her Mom could have Raised and taken Care of Children successfully.  She told me she doesn't even know how her Mom has Survived without a Caregiver, given her Condition?!   I guess she always Wondered, even tho' her Older Brother didn't, since he has the same Diagnosis as his Mom, so he was well Aware that it's not conducive to having Children in your Care or even Caring for yourself without some Help.  This is why he doesn't want Children and convinced Allen they should not even try to get approved to Adopt.  I know he's Right about that and he doesn't miss being Childless, tho' I think Allen might.

  But, The Son is like Allen, he would have liked to have had Biological Children and a Family.   But given his own Mental Health Diagnosis, and Substance Abuse Past, it just isn't fair to Children to have a Parent with that much Baggage and risk passing any of that along Genetically.  He helped his Ex Raise her Three Kids and Loved being a surrogate Dad, he Adored those Girls. Since their Dad was hardly ever in the picture, so, he was the closest thing to a Dad they had, besides their Maternal Grandfather and Maternal Uncle.   He misses them a lot, but feels he'd be best not trying to be a Parent again, he was a good Provider, but not the best Role Model and was Aware of that Fact.   I think Allen might be a good Dad, he's a good Provider and seems really good with Children, his little Niece absolutely Adores her Uncle. 

  But, The Young Prince is not good with Children, he doesn't even Like Children.  Neither does Princess T, they annoy her and she doesn't think they're Cute enuf to tolerate either.   She said she'd be perfectly Fine being The Childless Cat Lady that JD is so critical about.  *Bwahahaha*  She's very Strict with Eli The Cat, so, perhaps it's for the best?  *Winks*  I always hear her wailing from her Room, "Stop Eli!!!  NO, Eli!!!  Look what you've done now, Eli!!!"  *Bwahahahahaha*  And I go in there to Mediate and she's got Resting Bitch Face and Eli has that mischievous look in his Eyes, like he's intentionally Winding Up his Human Mom and Delighting in it!   He only Behaves when I walk in, coz I say nothing, I just lock Eyeballs with him, he squints, rolls over exposing his Belly, says a few things in the Language of his People, and that's always Enough for that Rascal of a Cat into submission, obedience and behaving.  *Ha ha ha*   But, he is a Problem Child Fur Baby with Attitude.  *Smiles*

I've been snagging some good Halloween Graphics off Pinterest, and The Graphics Fairy Blog from way back in 2013 Posts, as well as Google Images.  I had heard Industry Rumors that The Graphics Fairy was Monetizing her Blog so Successfully back in Blogging Heyday, that she was pulling in Thousands per Month!  I've never Monetized my Blog, but many did and had Ads galore and did Profit off their Blogging like it was a Business.  I'm not opposed to Biz Blogs, but, I do see most have ceased and moved on to other newer and more popular Media Sites now. I don't have a Printer anymore but, I do enjoy still Saving some in my Photo Archives that I particularly like.  I do miss some of the Blogs that used to attend all the Events and Shows Nationally, I could go vicariously via their Blogs to places I might never Cross Off the Ole Bucket List.  *Le Sigh*  On the Canvas of my Imagination I went to them all tho'.  *Winks*   As a full time Caregiver, I knew the Odds of actually going were slim next to none tho'.   And, I'm Okay with that.

I'd rather have The Man keep Piping along and be my Lifelong Companion than to be traipsing the Globe and Crossing Off Bucket List items.   I would like to make it to No. One on that List tho', Bora Bora.  The Young Prince has told me since he was little, that he'd pay for me to go there if he ever got the Money together to Fund it, Bless him, he really means that too, so the Sentiment alone is Priceless to me.  Brings a Tear to my Eye actually, and who knows, he might just pull it off, you never know?   I did have Two Friends that did go there, my Friend and Co-Worker at the DA's Office, Bess, she went to Bora Bora and Tahiti, told me the former was worth it, the latter was not.   And my Friend Al, who is Retired Military and I think has gone there several times, he's Single, No Kids, has the Money and Freedom to Travel extensively and indulge his every Fantasy Trip anywhere and everywhere.

This is a Blast From the Past Pix of Al and I back in the 1970's... on a Road Trip to Cali... where me and Three of my Male GI Friends went so we could go to Disneyland, me for the first and last time.  Disneyland was Cool and all, but I never have warmed up to Cali.  We almost got Arrested our first Day there coz the Drinking Age in Arizona was 18 and in Cali it was 21 and we didn't realize that!   The Cop was Cool about it, saw that they were Active Duty Military Guys and I had an AZ License Plate on my Maverick Grabber, which the Guys had Named "The Creamsicle".  So, the Cop just made us dump out our Beers and inform us of the Drinking Age difference in that State.  I was the only one not drinking, but, wouldn't have wanted to Post Bail for Three of my Friends so they wouldn't get in trouble with their Commanding Officers. *Whew*  That's not even MY T-Shirt I'm wearing, so who knows whose it was, I'm not a Pepper, don't like Dr. Pepper, so probably a Friend loaned it to me as a Joke?!   Or left it at my Apartment after a Party?  *LMAOROTF*

While looking up some Blast From The Past Photos I came across a couple of Favorite ones of our Oldest Daughter when she was in her 20's.  She's a Gramma now of Five, Time sure Flies, doesn't it?  I still remember as a Teenager she knew Jon Bon Jovi and her aspiration was to be a Hair Stylist for Rock Bands.  Our Girls were the Wild Child Daughters. *LOL*   She ended up being a Corporate Executive instead, Wiser Career Path, and represented several big Japanese Companies and arranged all their International Travel.  She took an Early Retirement from it all to Raise our Grandchildren, her Three Daughters.  I remember her Calling me to get my Advice about giving up a thriving Career to Raise a Family and I told her your Children will only ever be Young Once, you'll have fewer regrets making Family your highest priority over Career.  If you're really good at what you do, they'll wait for you to come back into whatever Industry you excelled at and rose to the top of meteorically.  She followed that Advice and never regret it and now runs her own Businesses again since the Kiddos are all Grown.

Now Below is a recent Pix of her Oldest Daughter and Husband, who have reached Middle Age... my how Time Flies Fast!   I remember when this Grandchild was Born, The Son was still in Grade School, he's only 7 Years Older than his Niece, so, he HATED her calling us Gramma and Grandpa!  *LOL*  He said we couldn't be called that until we both had White Hair!  *Bwahahahaha*  Well, I'd still be waiting then.  And reminded him that my Dad Died at 74 with Blue Black Hair and no Grey or White... so, Genetically, there's a 50-50 chance I won't ever get the White Mantle bestowed???  *Winks*  My Mom got Silver Hair that was gorgeous and early, in her 30's, so did my Brother, and he was more Fair Complexion like my Mom, so, he Inherited those Matriarchal Genes, apparently I Inherited more of the Patriarchal Genes from Dad's side?   

Both of my Parents had Blue Black Hair the color of a Raven's Wing, my Brother too, and all of my Grandparents had Blue Black Hair on both sides of the Family as well.   I Loved the Color of my Families Hair and always Wished I'd had it too, it made me stand out in Family Shots since, I looked like the Odd one out.  People always asking me when I was growing up, was I Adopted?   Especially when visiting my Dad's People on the Rez, well, I looked like The Snowflake and only shared the swarthier complexion than the average White Person.  *LOL*   So my Hair Color was a Recessive Gene anomaly I was told came from an Irish Great-Great-Grandfather on my Nanna's side, who was a Redhead.   Genetics has always fascinated me.  The Dominant Genes prevail, but if you have that Recessive in the Woodpile, it pops up every once in a while since it's passed along, but doesn't always show up that often.  *Smiles*

I'm going to Miss doing all of the Fall Activities with The Daughter, she likes doing all the same things that I enjoy doing, the rest really don't.  She's been my Sidekick now ever since she moved back Home and I have enjoyed it tremendously, as has she.   She was a turbulent Teen and Young Adult, so a chasm Relationally developed between us due to that, but, now she's Middle Aged, we get along so well and she swears she's "Turning Into Me" and we Laugh becoz she was really close to her Nanna, my Mom, and I definitely "Turned Into Mom", so, she said it's like hanging out with her Dear Nanna all over again.  She wasn't able to be in America when her Nanna Died, and she really was distraught over that.   She wasn't able to be here when my Dad Died too, since she was in Mexico then as well... and we often Reminisce about Gran-Gran and Nanna.   My Parents Adored their Grandchildren, mine were the only ones they got to know since my Brother's Sons were Raised by his Exes.

 

My Stomach is still making Crazy Rumblings, so, I still can't risk leaving the House or not having a Bathroom close by... dammit.  As the Morning is wearing on I'm getting Hangry too... which, is another risk I'm not sure I wanna take... eating?   But, I do have to take my Insulin Shot and Oral Diabetic Meds and doing so on an empty Stomach makes you Queasy anyway, so, I'll have to take the Chance I guess, or risk feeling even worse if I Fast on the Medications.  *Le Sigh*  The Man is always a big Pain in the Ass when I'm not Feeling Well, I think it Scares him any time I get Sick.  But that means he has Angry Outbursts for no apparent reason, since, Anger is usually Fear in disguise.   So, he's been Emotionally Raw all Morning and I'm just not in the Mood to put up with it.  In Caregiver Mode, when you're not Well either, you really need for those you're responsible for Caring of all the time, to just Knock it Off and cut you a Break for a Minute.

So, Dark Dawn had to come out to Play and tell him to just Knock it Off coz he was being Unlovely and flying off the handle over ridiculous trifles.  He's watching some Funniest Videos Show in the Livingroom and as The Son walked thru they were showing Clips of Women trying to bust Watermelons with their Boobs!   So, he just jokingly says, "Dad, what ARE you watching?!", in good humor, but, The Man got defensive and had a hissy fit so I had to warn him to Calm the Fuck Down, our Son was just Joking, nobody Cares what Show he's watching and we know it's just a series of ridiculous Clips... nothing to get upset or excited about.  *Huge Eye Roll*  So, he's pouting now coz I came down on him for being an Asshole about it and yelling for no reason.  The Son doesn't like to be around his Dad when the Dementia makes him get Angry about anything or everything and confrontational.  He wants to be respectful of his Elders, but, you can't allow Bad Behavior, there's never a good Excuse for Bad Behavior.

So, I usually then have to handle The Man's Outbursts so they don't escalate and he gets irrationally Angry and difficult to Manage.   Princess T and The Daughter are pretty adept at it too, he responds better to Female Caregiving than Male Caregiving.   So, the Girls can Manage him better than The Son, and why I rarely ask our Son to help with Caregiving Duties of his Dad, it's just too potentially confrontational.   Allen and The Young Prince found it impossible to Deal with Grandpa effectively either, so it definitely was a Male Caregiver barrier.   At the VA we had similar Issues and most of the Mental Health and Nursing Home Caregivers for the VA were Big burly Males, so, they failed to Manage or Mediate The Man's Episodes he would have after his TBI... which, now he has Dementia too, have become more frequent and elevated.  Dementia is a tricky Illness to Manage, it makes those afflicted uncharacteristically Aggressive or Agitated. 

Princess T and The Daughter know that Heaven Forbid, something happen to me first, The Man would not be able to find suitable or even affordable Placement that would even take him.  They would end up having him in their Care and Hopefully me not being around wouldn't make it harder?  After his TBI no Long Term Care Facilities, Civilian Nursing Homes, including the VA Old Soldier's Homes, would even consider Placement, they said he was too High Maintenance, too expensive, and they didn't have the Staffing or Funding to handle a Resident like him.  His background in Special Forces does make him a high risk Individual for a lot of reasons if he's not in his Right Mind and is no longer capable of discerning what is a Threat and what is really not.  I know our VA Caseworkers said it was a good thing he responds so well to me and seems subdued by my Methods of correcting his Behavior when it's not okay.  He has a Healthy Respect for Dark Dawn's dire Warnings.  I'm not Playing. *Winks*

Usually I just have to remind him that it's always HIS Choice whether he gets Dawn Of The Light... or... her Evil Sister Dark Dawn... so, choose Wisely.  *Bwahahahaha*   The one and only time he seemed not quite able to control his Anger, I just told him he better use all his Mad Skills the USMC Special Forces taught him Motherfucker, coz I bow down to no Man and he'd be Sleeping with one Eye Open and Watching his Back otherwise.  It Calmed him right the Fuck Down coz I meant every Word of it and he knows that.  I Love him with all my Heart and will do anything for him and to Protect him, but the only way to keep him Safely at his own Home is to be able to be his Full Time Caregiver without it being a Risk to the Family or myself... so, he has to keep that firmly in his Addled Mind or he'll end up somewhere else... I'll just dump his Ass off and tell them "Good Luck with this and I Hope it all Works Out." 

 Since, that's how they sent me off with him when they wouldn't assume the Responsibility last time and I couldn't meet him at his Point of Need yet.  They frankly didn't give a fuck about the Welfare and Safety of him, the Kiddos or I and it was painfully obvious that The System fails anyone in our Situation.  It's a National Disgrace actually and I don't see anyone trying to improve The System regarding Long Term Care of those whose Families can't really Cope or Manage to Care for someone way outside their ability to meet that Disabled/Sick person at the Point of Need they obviously have and require.   Sure, they'll send Adult Protective Services to check out a Situation, but, frankly, if they can't provide alternatives, they really will not want to get involved either.  They know the Prospectus of doing what I do for Free would Cost them around Sixty Grand or more a Month.  They're not willing to foot that Bill.  And when my last fuck to give is gone... The System really backs off and wants no involvement, coz their Feet would be to the Fire and they know it.

I have told every Caseworker ever Assigned to a Resident Loved One here at The Asylum Forever Boheme' residing here, that if they Imagine they can Care for ANY or ALL of them better than me, go for it, don't threaten me with a good time, have at it.  *Winks*   They have unanimously decided they would rather not have ANY or ALL of us dumped in their Laps, and bear that enormous Responsibility and Cost, Nope.   So, until they do Stand Tall, shut the fuck up or send in the Goddamned Cavalry... I don't really Care anymore one way or the other.   I really don't, I am doing the Best I can and if that's not good enuf, well, Step Up whoever thinks they'd do it better, I DARE them.   That's the same thing I said to my MIL the One time she questioned my ability to Care for her Son after his Catastrophic Injuries, God Rest her Soul.  She told me I wasn't doing a good enuf Job, over the Phone of coarse, she was conspicuous by her very Absence in Person, tho' she and his Stepdad had come to Arizona often to do "Church Work".  Don't EVEN get me Started there... *Winks*

So, I responded in a way that blindsided the Hell out of that Old Lady and she never ran an ounce of interference or offered any criticism after that One foolishly unguarded utterance to me.   All the other DIL's Kowtowed, well, I'm not The One.   She found that out Mach Schnell.  I simply told her, "You're Right, Nobody can Care for a Son like his Mother.  And I have a Guest Room here for you to come and Stay and be his Caregiver for as long as you like.  In fact, The G-Kid Force would also love to have their Great-Grandma Present and helping us with him, and with them too.  It would be such a BLESSING Rosalie!!!"  {His Family are ultra "Religious", so the Blessing part was Intentionally chosen Wordage.  Winks}   Needless to say she never showed up or took the Offer to BE such a Blessing, in fact, I never heard from her again and I was told by other DIL that she never spoke ill of me either.  I bet... mebbe she thought I'd put one of those Heathen Curses of our People upon her, I dunno?  *Winks*  Step in my Waters, you best be a Strong Swimmer or have a Life Preserver handy for your Titanic Moment.  *LOL*

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Happy Halloween my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian