Miserably Failing At Blog Topics That Are Lighter

 I've managed to get One Unpublished Post ahead again.  Blogging has been relaxing while I deal with personal crisis unfolding in such volume. I did get a bunch of Inventory Priced last Night while watching Comedy Specials on YouTube.  Since we no longer have Money for NetFlix we've been enjoying the Freebie Channels, which are pretty good, as good as NetFlix was IMO and costs nothing extra.  So, I have a huge Box filled with Fresh Merch to bring in to the Antique Mall Today, for both the Locked Case and the Showroom.  And I do Plan to rotate some Inventory out, perhaps reprice some of it, and Donate some of it that hasn't Sold. 

I haven't really worked our Spaces like I should with everything else going on in our personal lives.  I haven't even been going in to the Antique Mall very much either or accepting Shifts.  Sales have been stronger than they had been, but, that's been due to Race Fans and Spring Training Baseball Fans being here in the Far West Valley for all of that.  It brings in a much more affluent demographic of Shopper that has Money to spend.  If they have Money to follow the Races and the Baseball Teams, they have discretionary income to drop while here for anything else they want or want to do.  You can spot them coz they usually are Head to Toe Custom Outfitted in their Sports Team Attire brand new Outfits.

These are your hard core Sports Fans and most of them come in a Sea and Convoy of very expensive Recreational Vehicles they Live in on site at the Races or the Spring Training Grounds, or nearby RV Parks.  Plus, an enormous amount of huge sprawling Hotels are being built, and Big Resorts, for them to now stay in too.  Most of them are so close by our Property that I can see them, coz we're by Two of the larger Freeways that intersect, one going North and South, the other going East and West.  Metro Phoenix is growing too fast and Urban Sprawl is out of control, I don't think it's sustainable in a Desert, not enuf Water for all these folks migrating here.  Short Term Greed Equals Long Term Environmental Catastrophe.

But I don't wanna Blog about all of that, too Dark.  This Post I want to at least try to bring some Light into the Darkness, so, let's give it a go.  *LOL and Winks*  Short Pause... Okay, I got Nothing.  *Bwahahahaha*  But, mebbe something will come to me?  *LMAOROTF*  Hey, it could happen, as we walk towards The Light!  *Winks*  I've been catching up on Blog Reads and trying to find some New Blogs to Read.  I tidied up my Blog Fav Sidebar recently too, there were just some I found myself not Reading or who weren't Blogging often enough to notice when they did finally Post something.  Sometimes if I get a new Commenter I'll pop over if they have a Blog, easiest way to find New Ones is from Comments.

But I'm a prolific Blogger, not necessarily a prolific Reader of Blogs, my ADHD kicks in when I try to Read and my Mind sometimes just wanders.  I do better with Visual Blogs or Blogs where the Blogger really has excellent Writing Skills that captivate me.  Listen, most Published Authors can't do that for me, so those Bloggers who can, you really have a Gift for Writing even if you don't do so Professionally.  It's all subjective of coarse, some popular Blogs who have a big Following, Bore me.  And some Bloggers who have almost no Following, are my absolute Favorite Bloggers and their Writing and Wicked Humor just blows me away.  I always Hope, that in spite of not having a considerable Following, they won't quit Blogging and lose interest in doing it.

I've had some heaviness in my Chest lately and don't know if it's intense Stress and Anxiety due to all our Crisis, Seasonal Allergies, or something more serious going on, since The Man's Pneumonia began like that?  In the past I've not had Pneumonia often, but I have had Bronchitis fairly often, but not in recent Years.  And then there's COVID, which, I've had Twice even tho' I get all the Vaxxes for it and for Pneumonia and Flu when Old folks just should get Seasonally Vaxxed for it all.  I know COVID didn't just go away, it's still around and constantly evolving into new Strains now, just like The Flu always has, it's here to stay and I'm Mindful of that Fact.  

Okay, so clearly I'm miserably failing at Blog Topics that are Lighter... Sorry!  But, that is a great Blog Post Title Hook then for this one.  *Bwahahahaha*  Seriously, you Dear Readers do tend to gravitate more to Reading the Darker Posts.  They're madly more Popular than the Positive Posts, I do get the Stats, and since I'm a Stats Person, I do Look. *Winks*  I have Fun with my Blog Post Title HOOKS to see what draws folk in.  Perhaps that's why the Title is always the hardest or last thing I do for any Post?  It will be relevant, along with the Lead Image, as to what draws Readers in or repels them, so, it's Interesting to me, tho' not necessary to pander to Topic preferences of who shows up.

Of coarse it's nice if you show up, and I enjoy Comments, since, it's how I've gotten to "know" and Befriend many folks in The Land of Blog.  So long as I wouldn't be buried in an Avalanche of them, coz I do try to always respond to everyone who took the Time to be interactive and leave a Comment.  I Write about a lot of Controversial Topics yet I don't tend to attract the Trolls coz I do find the few who've ever wanted to Square Off about anything, just Wicked Sport for me to then Fuck with for my own Amusement.  I am like that if you are the type to open your Mouth and get feisty or confrontational with me.  Oh, so you wanna Play?!  Fun Times ahead then!  Well, let Dawn of the Light now defer to Dark Dawn, I'll introduce you both, and let's Play then.  *Bwahahahaha*

For those who may want Ringside Seats to that Exchange, it can be Dinner and a Show.  Usually the Troll is Anonymous, coz, well, Troll aren't known for their Courage, just their Cowardly Anonymity.  Coz if you were to reveal who you are, and where you Hide Out in The Land, I'd be coming for you then, to have more Fun.  But, this time on your Slice of the Blogasphere, coz, I can clear a Room when I'm having Fun like that to Amuse myself and might be otherwise Bored.   And I'd get to then meet and greet ALL your Friends, and sometimes they might resent you exposed them to any of that Fun.  So, yeah, haven't had but a scant handful of Trolls in all these Years of Blogging.  The Dubai Escorts used to show up, that was a Hoot.  *Bwahahahaha*

I might be tempting them with a Visit with the Algorithm of a Mention?  But, they're just a minor nuisance you Spam Out when any Bots show up.  Bots aren't as Fun to Fuck with as Real Troll Humans are.  I don't know that a Bot discerns being Targeted back or not, but I do know if I get a Bot on the Phone rather than a Human, if you just say Fuck, even once, they must be programmed to immediately transfer you to their Human Counterparts?   So, I never waste my Breath or my Time with a Bot, I just drop the Magic Word and be Done with them and on to a Human Counterpart I want to spend any Time or Energy on a Call with.  I don't know how AI will fare with me, I think any Artificial Intelligence would quickly Bore the Fuck out of me.  Yawn.  I'm not Into Artificial shit, almost none of it.  Give me The Real Deal instead.

But I do like the AI Music, it's hilarious, and pretty good, The Son turns me on to the best of it and we Roll with Laughter.  I know some of you are embracing AI and I suppose most of Humanity will just be forced to and thus have to.  I will Resist coz I'm a Tyrannosaurus Rex kinda Dinosaur, only I have a longer Reach with my Arms.  *Winks*  The Family say, well, we'd say you are more a Velociraptor kinda Dinosaur Mom/Gramma.   But I disagree, they Hunt and Take Down Adversaries or Meals in Packs, I like to Hunt or do the Take Down Solo, it's more Fun and much more Sport to me.  The Man wouldn't disagree with that assessment, he's known me long enuf to know how I choose my Victims... or should I say more accurately, THEY choose me.  *Winks*

I'm that Nice Dinosaur, kinda like Barney, who I think was meant to be the Friendly T. Rex, in Jewel Tone Colors, who could be harmless and actually a lot of Fun that wasn't threatening and was great with Kids.  But if a Victim chooses ME, then I do morph into the T. Rex of the Jurassic Park kind quite quickly.  I ain't gonna Lie about that side of me that is then Invited to make a Meal of you then.  And the results tend to be much the same for said Victim(s) as in that franchise, and I make no apology for it either.  After all, they're the ones that stepped in my Paddock Waters, so they just better be damned Strong Swimmers, or Fast as greased Lightening to get out Alive.  I'm kinda Primal when it comes to the Wicked Fun I'll have with a hapless Victim that chooses me.  Think a Cat with a Mouse if you will.

I don't think a Cat really has animosity towards the Mouse actually, my Cats never actually Ate it, they just had Fun with it mercilessly, Killed it off, then brought it to me as a Trophy to Share.   And since I didn't want Vermin showing up on my Watch, tho' I have nothing against Mice or Rats as a Species, I even Owned Pet Ones as a Child and Loved them, if they come into my Lane, my Instinct is to Exterminate them so more don't show up.  I feel the same way about Blog Trolls I guess, just have some Fun with them and Exterminate the Nuisance after having Played with them some for my own Wicked Amusement.  Problem then Solved.  Don't Antagonize me, disrupt my Calm on my Turf, then think I won't come out of the Bag on your Stupid Ass, so, I Pity the Fool that does.

The Son did Environmental Cleanup with me Today while Princess T watched her Grandpa for us and made sure he got his Noon Meds until we got back.  We were able to go further into the Nature Preserve cleaning and gleaning discarded Aluminum Cans than I can when I'm doing it with The Man.  I ran into a Young Native American Man who was fishing and we discussed Environmental Stewardship as taught by Indigenous Elders.  He too was disgusted by the littering and especially by the Dead and discarded Fish that people catch and leave to Die rather than throwing them back in if it's not what they were fishing for.  There were about Two Dozen Dead Catfish in a pile that someone caught and then just didn't throw back, such Waste of precious Life and Food, not only for Humans, but the Wildlife that rely upon it too. 

Anyway, none of the Men fishing that day were catching much, perhaps One Fish, if that, even tho' it was a glorious Day only in the high 70's and low 80's so far with a Cool Breeze.  The River was running fast and high tho', but there was not a lot of littering, which was a good sign, and I think Park Services must have been doing a lot of cleanup and improvements.  A lot had been done since last time I'd been way back in there, it looked nice actually.  We did glean a LOT of Aluminum Cans tho', a huge Garbage Bag full back there.  But, that's coz The Son could get in to the brush like his Dad couldn't and I would have trouble doing.  So, I'd send him Bird Doggin' in there.  *Smiles*  It's dense brush along the River Banks up in there.

I usually only go up Pathways and Game Trails, I don't Machete my way thru thick dense brush you can barely see thru.  My Skin is thin now in my Old Age and like Crepe Paper so I'd be tearing myself up and Bleeding or Bruising badly if I tried.  Plus I'd be getting Sticks and Leaves all stuck in my Dreadlocks.  *Smiles*  The Son had shaved his Hair off for Spring so he just dusts anything off easily out of what Hair he has left.  I took him out to Eat afterwards at "TJ's Restaurant", a Local Haunt in the Old Barrio near where our Historic Home was, we know everyone who Works there and the Owners.  They only had one of our fav Waitresses working the entire Restaurant, she said most folks quit.

People used to Work there for YEARS, but I know the Food Industry in general is struggling and less folks can even afford to Eat Out now.  Gas was up way over Five Bucks a Gallon and well up over Six Bucks a Gallon for Diesel now locally.  I'm glad then I filled up a couple days ago when it was $4.69 a Gallon.  Coz it's increased by over 50 Cents a Gallon in just a couple days!!!  We used our Recycle Money for this Meal coz the Recycle Center is across the Street from the Restaurant and I had the whole back of my Truck full of Bags of Cans.  We got The Man a half order of his favorite Meal "To Go".  Princess T passed on me getting her something, I think Rusty is taking her out to eat or coming over coz she's deep Cleaning her Room... it's a 'Sign' he's coming over to hang out here instead of them hanging out at his House.  *LOL*

Anyway, The Son had a good time doing the Cleanup with me, he really got into it and we got a good haul of Aluminum coz he kept Pace with me.   I do it all the time so I can go long doing it and that impressed him, he Tapped Out first actually.  *LOL*  On Social Media my Friends that went to the No Kings Protests had sent Pixs of being part of the Resistance.  The vast majority of my Tribe of coarse are Anti-MAGA, and almost all of us dumped anyone in our Inner Circles that got drawn into the Cult, it changed them in ways that were not tolerable and were actually quite disgusting and made us question the content of their Character actually.  I Wish them to be Well, but I don't want to be Tight with anyone supporting or excusing what they seem to be willing to.

So, Live from the Phoenix No Kings Protest I have some Imagery my Friends Shared who could be there.  If The Man weren't so fragile Medically right now I'd go to every Protest too in Person and be Militant in every Good Trouble way I could be and like we had to be in the Past.  You know us Old Hippies were once Young Militants who were always very Anti-Establishment when The Establishment wasn't respecting Civil Rights and the Civil Rights Era was exploding.  I remember growing up with involuntary Segregation if you had any Color in you.  My Dad, and thus our Family, couldn't just live anywhere off a Reservation or a Military Base.  And, even in the Military he was Segregated in those days, in all Black Units usually.  The Man was segregated in the Military initially due to Religious Discrimination, he was in all LDS Units with Native American Trackers in Vietnam.  They're trying to bring that back under Hegseth the White Christian Nationalist.  

And I remember when, as a Woman, I couldn't get a Loan without a Man, and didn't get equal pay for doing an equal Job.   So, a lot of those hard fought for and Won Rights aren't that long ago a Victory, it's pretty recent.  I refuse to have them rescinded now.   And the LGBTQ+ Community used to get arrested for their Sexual Orientation, and beaten by Law Enforcement.  The Stonewall Riots were only in June of 1969.  And, as a Hippie in them days I remember being discriminated against for being a Hippie.  Some places wouldn't Serve you, some places made you go in thru the Back Door.  And even here in Arizona in the early 1970's, Phoenix was still a segregated City and some places wouldn't serve my Dad due to being Indigenous.  You'd go into a place that didn't Welcome Native Americans and they'd refuse to serve you so you'd just eventually have to leave.

This is my long time Friend Kendra who just got out of Facebook Jail for her Political Views and got banned for a Month.  *LOL*  First thing she did against Fuckerberg was Post something Politically Militant.  *Winks*  We won't tolerate our First Amendment Rights being violated by a Fascist Regime, so, they'll just have to Deal with us Opposing them and revealing what they're doing, even if the Media is too timid and afraid to or is in their Pocket, like Faux 'News' Sham of a Station is.  I was so Happy to see the Youth actively participating in Protest, since, they Inherit this Future and will have to run all the Damage Control they can behind the Fuckery this Regime has caused for America and the World.  I'm Glad the Righteous are being Patriotic and defending the Nation we Love and don't want destroyed by this Lunatic and his enabling Sycophants and fellow Criminals looting the Nation and spreading division and their vile Hatred and Bad Brands of blasphemous 'Religion'.

I'll be heading to the Antique Mall soon to put my Inventory into Stock, I don't want to delay or I might not feel like doing it again and Today is the only day with nothing on the Calendar Scheduled.  LATER:  Got all the Inventory in there, Sales for the start of this Pay Period are real Soft, but I Closed the last Pay Period respectably, so my Check won't be horrible. *Whew*  I didn't get any comped Space Rent tho' coz I haven't worked.  Ran into Crazy Ed, my Friend, he hasn't pulled a Shift in over Two Months, just hasn't felt like it, said he might wait 'til after April to accept any Shifts.  Ed usually works a lot of Shifts, so that's Surprising.  He said it just hasn't been worth the aggravation, I agree, it hasn't been worth the aggravation sometimes.  He's got a lot going on outside of the Mall, so do I, so we're more focused on that.

"Little Caesar's" has a new Pizza Hot N Ready, so I got one on my way Home, we were impressed, it was good, several Choices and only $7.99.  I didn't feel like Cooking, I've worked a lot all day, and now I'm just wanting to relax.  The Young Prince had hung out with his Friend Sadie all day having a good time.  Princess T is now out with her Boyfriend Rusty having a good time.  We still haven't heard from The Daughter at all.  Last time I saw or talked to her was after her Dad's Heart Surgery, she doesn't even know about him going back in the Hospital with Pneumonia coz she's not getting her Texts or PM's on FB... I have no way of reaching her.  All the Phone Numbers she had that we could contact her, aren't in Service now.  So, I don't know what's going on with her.  I'd like to just have her check in every once in a while so we know she's okay.

The Man now has some Home Physical Therapy Scheduled for April 7th.  He's not Happy about it but I told him he has to do whatever we can get Approved to do from Home.  It's not only easier on me it's easier on him too.  He doesn't want to end up in Rehabilitative Nursing Home Care, he wouldn't do Well there, but he has to do some PT to gain Strength and not deteriorate further, so that he CAN remain at Home and not require even more Extreme Caregiving.  I don't Care what he WANTS, what he NEEDS is my Priority coz I'm the one tasked with his Caregiving and making the Important Decisions to ensure he's getting the best Care and Services that our Insurances ARE willing to Cover and do here at Home.  That's not only convenient, but, he does better with it, them coming here rather than me dragging him around or being Inpatient to do it.

 

He wants to be left alone but with how his Health is deteriorating, that's not a Wise Idea or he's worsen and we can't afford for that to happen.  He has no Covered Long Term Care and it would Bankrupt us for him to require it.  I'm not only responsible for him, I'm responsible for everyone who resides here and can't be Bankrupted and left with nothing so that his Extreme Care can be even partially covered.  My Mom's Long Term Care many Years ago was $11,000 a Month, we don't earn even half of that if they took everything we receive to live on.  And I'm not gonna live in a Tent under a Bridge in my Senior Years, so I'm telling him, you can't be foolish about your Health to where the whole Family then suffers the consequences of you refusing the Care being offered and provided, plus, most importantly covered.  He sometimes now is only self absorbed and not thinking of anyone else and how this all impacts them.

If you are Single and have nobody dependent upon you, and no Family, perhaps you have the luxury and privilege of only thinking about yourself, but, if you're not, there's other Family involved.  I told him I'm not about to be destitute or have the rest of the Family destitute becoz he's not willing to cooperate with the Care recommended and covered and is being a foolish stubborn Old Man being self-absorbed.  He was petulant when we had that Talk after his PT Nurse, John, just set up this Appointment as dictated by his Cardiologist and will be covered by HUMANA, so is already pre-approved.  He said, I don't want to do it.  And I'm telling him, but, you WILL do it, it's not Optional at this point, it's Mandatory to ensure you don't get even worse and yo-yo in and out of Hospital or be recommended for Long-Term Care or even Hospice! 

As his Mind goes more Sideways with the Dementia, he's less able to be reasoned with and more contrary about doing what he should.  He gets Unlovely at times and adjusting a Bad Attitude with someone whose becoming more diminished and cognitively declining, is a challenge.  There are times I have to be very stern with him to get any cooperation from him and when he's misbehaving.  For now it's only some of the time he's like that, but I can tell he's getting more like that over Time and it will become harder, went thru it with my Mom as her Dementia progressed.  She would fight you Tooth and Nail about what was in her Best Interests and sabotage a lot of things you set up for her and really went hard to get as Services for her.  She screwed up a lot of things I pulled in a lot of Favors to get her Approved for and it was maddening. 

 I finally turned her over to my Brother since I'd exhausted all Resources and Favors here.  He had Hollywood Celebs he could pull Favors for her and she tended to be Star Struck so if he mentioned a Fav Star had been instrumental in whatever Services she got in Cali, she would be more inclined to then be cooperative and Happy about it.  But I knew my Brother was really having to Call in all the Favors he had with influential people coz we couldn't afford the level of Care she required and he had to make her a Ward of the State of California in the End, coz her Care had astronomical Costs before she finally Qualified for Hospice.  She had no Money or Assets, and we had so much going on with our own Health Issues and Family Health Issues, my Brother and I, that we couldn't funnel funds to pay for hers at all.     

Many Families end up The Sandwich Generation like that caught between Generations of Needs of themselves, their Elders and their Children/Grandchildren or even Great-Grandchildren.  Now that my Elders have Crossed Over and my In-Laws too, at least we don't have to try to meet a Generation Older than us at their Point of Need anymore.  I miss them terribly, but know their situations had gotten so dire at the End, that we couldn't have selfishly wanted it to go on like that.  But, I also don't want our Kids and Grandkids to be worried Sick about us either, and right now they know Dad/Grandpa is becoming more and more compromised and how long we can meet him at his Point of Need is questionable, no doubt about it.  But there's no Options, no Plan B.  So, we need him on Board as much as possible to do the best he can.  We can't do the PT Work FOR him, that's on him to do for himself.  He just doesn't even want to try to do it.

He doesn't even know what they will ask of him yet and he's already saying he doesn't want to do it... and... he's getting to the point he doesn't want to do anything.  And that just makes it harder on Family to be able to take Care of him and I have to get that thru his Head.  He wants to remain at Home, but that means he has to do what will best make that a possibility to remain at Home.  If he doesn't, and he worsens, he may no longer be able to remain at Home, or worse, become so Medically compromised he ends up permanently in Hospital, Hospice or Dies from intentionally refusing to do what could have helped prevent any or all of that, or at least delay it.  I'm very frustrated with him since I'm getting the Services offered and have taken advantage of what is being Approved.  

I went hard to get him these Services, but, in the past he's sabotaged Services we Qualified for before that I fought hard to get for him, and I'm not putting up with him doing that again.   I went rounds with both of my Elderly Parents when they did require my Brother and I to make important decisions on their behalf near End of Life, it's never easy and I don't expect it to be.  But, having resistance to everything Positive doesn't improve a Situation that is happening whether you get Help or you refuse it.  And sometimes those refusals mean the Window of Opportunity to receive the Help evaporates and is rescinded.  So, you can't fuck around and be stupid, proud or foolish about it and run People off that could be a Present Help to you and your Family. 

See, still miserably Failing at Blog Topics that are Lighter and more Uplifting.  *Bwahahahahaha*  When I was at the Antique Mall, our Friend Cindy, who used to be his VA Nurse and is now Retired, talked with me about what's going on with him.  She knows only too well how he is and how challenging that is.  We do Laugh at the Dark Humor surrounding it all but she knows what a strain that's been on the Kiddos and I too.  She worries becoz a lot of Caregivers end up dropping Dead before those they are taking Care of coz of the Stress, Demands and Strains of it.  And how few Respites you get.  Actually while he was in the Hospital both times, it was a nice Respite for me that I really did NEED.  I was Worried Sick about him both times, but I knew he was in the Best Hands. And that for a short time and brief interlude, I didn't have to be the one whose Hands he was in the Balance of.  To ensure he Survived whatever is going on with him as he further deteriorates.  It's a Weighty Responsibility.

Moving On from Caregiver Drama... since... it's hardly ever Positive as a Topic.  And there generally are no Happily Ever After Endings to that Story either.   His After-Care Resistance will be an ongoing Battle, pretty damned Sure of it, but we take it One Day at a Time and like with Nurse Remi, she grew on him and now he Likes her and looks forward to her Visits and she's been exceptional and so Caring.  So, sometimes it's just a New Adjustment for him and any adjustment in his Routines is just hard for him and I Get that, but we have to prepare him for what has to Change as his Situation Changes.   He does Respect that I only want the Best for him and will Fight like Hell Advocating for him, just don't sabotage the results I get for you or I feel like I wasted my Time, Energy and Resources needlessly.

I Priced some more Smalls to take in Tomorrow after Nurse Remi leaves, I think I'll have to rely on Inexpensive affordable Smalls to tide me thru the Spring and Summer Months at the Antique Mall.  I've had some decent Merch also Selling, but it's not enuf to sustain me and those Customers willing to spend that much will be leaving when things get too Hot in Arizona, which, they already have been prematurely.  I think Race Fans and Baseball Spring Training Fans may have cut short their visits.  So many of them were terribly Sunburnt as it is, looking like Boiled Lobsters coz they didn't adequately protect themselves and spent too much time exposed.  The ER's were flooded with Visitors suffering both Sun/Heat related Heat Exhaustion, and worse, Heat Stroke.  Whatever Sport they came here to Support isn't worth compromising your Health and Life.

 

It was encouraging to see that even in Deep Red States they had huge turnouts for the No Kings Protests.  It gives me some renewed Hope that the Resistance is growing and MAGA is imploding in on itself.   Collectively it was the largest Protest in American History, which, speaks volumes.   I'm glad the coverage has been extensive so that the Administration has to face it and can't ignore it or pretend it's no Big Deal.   It is a Big Deal and they know it, even if the Orange Buffoon is so untethered to Reality at this point that cognitively, who knows how much is getting thru to his addled severely compromised Geriatric Brain?  He's been incoherent now for so long that is questionable he knows what he's doing and is recklessly and impulsively making strategic disasters now daily.  Yet, there may be sinister Method to what looks like Madness, since it's all about profiting and transactional for he and his Posse.  And, perhaps he and some of his Cronies are Juicing the Market, which I highly suspect.

They have so many Conflicts of Interest that it's staggering and they've Positioned themselves for maximum Profits off Krypto, Drones, Contracts, Purchases, Pay to Play, etcetera.  Why do you think they've grossly overpaid for every piece of ICE Warehouse Real Estate?  Definitely Corruption going on there, coz the Value of those Properties was only a fraction of what your Tax Dollars shelled out for each of them.  Plus the Contracts given to retrofit them are facing scrutiny.  The Shell Price was often many times what the Properties Value is, along with renovation costs being astronomically inflated.  And rushed acquisitions not allowing for Fair Market Negotiations or a Plan of what each Facilities impact upon the Communities will be.  It's all highly suspect and reeks of Corruption... again, Follow the Money being funneled into these Projects that Taxpayers are footing the Bill for and who stands to Profit most?

Taxpayers have literally given a Blank Check to the most Corrupt Administration in American History and he's Writing Checks that our Asses can't Cover at the Pace in which the spending they're blowing thru it occurring and accelerating.  There is complete lack of accountability, checks or balances.  Zero Guardrails and even Corruption stacking the Court Systems at the highest levels in the Supreme Court.  Just look at what some of the Rulings have been to know it's been Politicized in their Favor, flagrantly so, and is no longer working for or protecting the People or following any semblance of The Rule Of Law.  The Foxes being in charge of the Henhouse and having the run of it is just creating massive carnage and a Feast for the Foxes.

The Man was up at 2:00 in the Morning, which ended up causing me to snap Awake and check on him.  He says he's Fine and is sitting in the Livingroom in his Media Chair watching TV Shows, so, mebbe he just can't Sleep and is Fine, I really dunno?  He has very little concept of Time anymore, the passage of it with him is clearly affected.  Time shifting is common in the middle to late stages of the Disease.  He's becoming more totally immersed in the Past and has little connection to the Here and Now or to anyone in it.  The Temporal Confusion is accelerating, that's for sure and he seems unaware of much of it.  His earlier Memories remain more accessible and that's apparent.  I try to validate his Feelings and just don't argue with him.  I've had to do that for Years with Family who suffer from Psychosis, coz it's very Real to them too, the experiences they're having. 

********

I know this Failed miserably at having Topics that were lighter... mebbe next time... Dawn... The Bohemian

The Reality Distortion Field

 It's Sunday in Real Time so I get to Sleep In on a Sunday and Mondays coz Princess T has those Days off Work.  Yet, she spent the Night at her Boyfriend's so her Cat, Eli, was loudly singing the Song of his People to get me up to Feed, Groom him and change his Litterbox.  He doesn't like his Staff to Sleep In.  *LOL*   So, it was after 9:00 a.m. and he felt like that was enuf Sleep for Staff and WTF, come tend to me and turn my Cartoons on too while you're at it, I'm missing some Episodes of "Sponge Bob Square Pants"!!!  *Winks*  Now he's Happy and fed, parked in front of the TV watching it, he's as much a Creature of Habit as The Man and I are!

I've got an expanded Med Duty with The Man now coz they gave me a whole New Printout, when he was discharged from Hospital this time, changing up Meds, adding some, decided not to discontinue Aspirin after all!!!   So they printed out a new Printout to replace the Printout they'd given me after his Surgery, and it's all changed up, but at least in Writing so I can follow it without as much confusion.  I should have been a Pharmacist to actually be as adept at administering Life Saving Medication as I'm tasked with now!!!  They put AM/PM beside those that now he's got to take twice or thrice a Day!  *Le Sigh*

I had both of the Guys help me with their Dad/Grandpa's Meds, it took all Three of us an Hour, coz he's got Two Pages of Meds.  We had Two Meds he doesn't even have that are on the List and it's a Sunday so we can't call the VA to ask them to fill the Scripts for those.  He should have them, but, he doesn't.  Luckily The Grandson is studying Latin and is interested in Pharmaceuticals and The Son once worked for a Pharmaceutical Distributor and once thought about becoming a Pharmacist.  So, they're more familiar than me about what each of those Medications is for and actually does... it's all I can do to keep track of that many Meds administered 1-3 times Daily!!!

We Spirited away any Meds he's no longer on that they discontinued and replaced with something else now.  So, we got his Meds straight for now and each Sunday we'll get together and put them in his Pill Box for the Week in AM, Noon, and PM doses.  Plus he takes Two Injectables as well.  It's a lot of fucking Medications to keep him Vertical now, it's rather overwhelming which is why I solicited the Help of The Son and The Grandson and they found it quite overwhelming and know now why I've been so stressed out about Med changes.  Just when I get it 'Down', it's changed again and I have to start all over with Organizing my Thoughts about what he's taking and when... and what he's not anymore!?

The Man was Laughing, coz he found it Amusing, the Three of us huddled over his Medications, figuring it all out for the Week, which the Bottles are in a Shoebox and fill the goddamned Shoebox now!!!  Then, after I got him situated, it was time to then go do my Meds.  Thankfully I'm on way less than he is and can keep it straight in my Head and do it for myself without Help from the Kiddos... for now... who knows what the Future brings so I gotta School them now on how best to Help keep us Alive.  *Bwahahahaha*  So, it's like one of those corny Jokes about Guys going into a Bar... only this Joke is about Guys Helping their Bipolar/ADHD Mom/Gamma, one's an ADHD Bipolar Autistic, the other is a Paranoid Schizophrenic with D.I.D., what could possibly go Wrong?!  *LMAOROTF*

I think I may wait 'til Midweek to go in to the Antique Mall and rework my Locked Case to put all this Fresh New Old Stock Inventory in.  The Weekends are so busy that it's hard to work around Customers swarming around you and getting in the way.  I also like to Talk to Customers who want to interact with me, or other Vendors, but it does interrupt the Work you're trying to do and then I get too distracted and off Task.  With being a Full Time Caregiver I only have an allotted amount of Time to pursue other obligations, so I can't have my Time thrown off with unexpected Socializing.  I never want to be Rude or make it awkward for Dear Vendor Friends or our Regular Customers who are Friendly tho'.  I'd like to have more time to just Socialize or do Recreational things, I really would, in a Perfect World.

 

The Grandson is helping with making Lunch again, since his Mom left, she had been doing most of the Cooking and Cleaning, now it falls on me mostly again and I got a lot going on.   So, I'm glad he's stepping up and stepping in for Cooking sometimes, he's not great about Cleaning, The Daughter is the one who was great about doing that around here and I miss that Present Help.  Still don't hear from her and usually when she goes off the Grid, it's for an extended period of time.  It's the longest she hadn't gone off the Grid actually, so, it was an improvement.  I do miss her and she'd been doing so well... until... she wasn't anymore.  And I don't know how much of that can be attributed to the influence of the Boyfriend, or was just her going Off Rails again?  It hardly matters. 

 So, for Lunch we're having Steaks I got on Sale and a Wild Rice Mix Blend {Wild, Black, Purple, Brown & Red} as the Side.  I have several Brands of it, each slightly different, the ones pictured above are just some of my fav Pantry Staple Brands.  We like a nice Jasmine Sticky Rice, but I also like Gourmet Rice Blends too and they're some of the pantry staples of non-perishables I keep stocked up on in case the Economy tanks further and food either becomes scarce or skyrockets more in price.  The Discount Grocery actually had some of the expensive Gourmet Rice Brands in Stock the last time I went there.  So I bought it, they didn't have that much and you never know if they'll get more in stock at the discounted price point that is a real bargain. They promote Heart Health, high in fiber, protein, and essential minerals and are a lower calorie option.  The Man will eat them without protest.

But, I digress.  Even The Daughter's Friends have said nobody has had contact with her and that IS Rare.  She usually keeps in contact with at least some of them on The Regular.   He's been Isolating her from her Friends tho', he's jealous and insecure and he's not at all a Sociable person, so few of her Friends liked him at all, pretty sure he sensed that.  They tolerated him for her sake, but, they didn't think the relationship was good for her and he was too controlling and had a temper he wasn't controlling.   Anyway, if she wants to be with and stay with him, that's her prerogative, she's Grown, I can't make those Life's Choices FOR her.  And I think mebbe the responsibilities here were just too much for her and overwhelming?  She did her best, that's all I can ask of her.  It was Nice while it lasted.  She's Homeless again and likely no longer Clean or Sober.

It's Peaceful here with whose still occupying Space and Sharing it, if The Son isn't drinking he's no problem, The Young Prince and Princess T are generally not problematic either.  The Man has his Routines and if they're kept in place, he's content and we just ensure he has Caregiver Coverage.  He can be okay for short periods of time without being Babysat, he follows his Safety Prompts and mostly just sits and watching his Programs or takes Naps.   So you don't have to be a Helicopter Caregiver with him, just ensure he gets his Meds on Time, get him Dressed and Cleaned Up, Feed and Water him, and the rest is his Down Time.  He will take Naps or go to Bed when he just feels like it.  He likes to mostly be left alone with his Programs and when he's feeling better and doing better, be taken out every now and then just to get out of the House.

Before his Heart Attack this time tho', he'd kind of soured on even being taken out to do the things he did used to want to do and enjoy doing. Like the Environmental Cleanup which he used to Love and request we go do, or being taken just for a Drive or Out to Eat.  So, I can see where he's limiting himself and mebbe he just Needs to since he's not feeling 100% to do much of anything anymore.  It would keep me more housebound if I didn't have the Younger Generations here to give me Caregiver Respites, so I'm glad they're willing to fill in for me when I just Need some Me Time and to go do something pleasurable.  It keeps me Centered and Balanced, keeps my Head on Straight and regulates my own Moods appropriately.  I still wanna have a Life, what's left of it. 

The Grandson is going to do some Environmental Cleanup with me before the Heat of the Day sets in, now we've got everyone fed.  His Uncle is here to keep an Eye on The Man, tho' both of them are Napping right now, so, they'll be Fine until we get back.  Princess T won't be back from Rusty's until Monday Morning, he doesn't have Mondays off.  So he drops her off early before he goes in to Work Monday Mornings.  Sometimes she just needs a Break from what's going on around here that is stressful and worries her.  It is a LOT.  Her Brother oddly handles it all better than his Mom, his Uncle, or his Sister does.  He's very pragmatic about Crisis and can more Emotionally detach, like I do, so that he can remain more effective while moving thru them.  Plenty of Time to get Emotional after you have successfully dealt with a Crisis.  It does no good and isn't Helpful, to fall apart Emotionally during one.

I took a long Nap, too long, I didn't even wake up in time to eat our Wild Rice Mix coz I Slept thru to 5:00 p.m.!!!  We're Coping each in our own way, not always an Ideal way.  The Son has been drinking too much and too early, and he's embarrassed when I bring up it's not a Solution or a good Coping Mechanism to all that is going on, coz he knows I'm Right.  But being stone cold Sober thru all these Trials and Tribulations he's experiencing, has been really difficult for him.  He lost his Career thru no fault of his own, he has zero income since before Thanksgiving and relies on Elderly Parents to ensure he's not just Homeless and Hungry.  He can't find Work.  Now he has IRS problems coz the ACA Subsidy he Qualified to receive, now they want it all back when he has no way to pay it back!!!  His Sister might be relapsed and Using again and is MIA once again, so we all Worry about her.  His Dad is failing in Health rapidly and deteriorating before his Eyes.  

He actually Melted Down Emotionally just helping me with his Dad's Medications, but I requested Help.  It Overwhelmed him to see how much The Man is on now and said no Wonder I've been so Overwhelmed and his Dad so confused about what he's taking and why?!  So his Nephew had to step in and say, it's Okay, I got this for Gramma and Grandpa, go lie down.  Both of them know more about these Rx that The Man is on than I do, so that disturbs them.  It is a LOT of Medication and if he were not a Veteran and getting them from the VA at no cost for his Meds at least, we couldn't possibly afford all of it, we struggle to a afford mine now that the Base Satellite Pharmacy doesn't carry most of them anymore and you must use TriCare, which Charges, but delivers to your Home.  We don't Qualify for Medicare Part D to cover our Medications, since, we have TriCare.

I should be Pricing more Inventory and I'm procrastinating doing it, so I got Crates of it sitting on the Floor here in our Boudoir, where I was Pricing it while The Man was still Hospitalized.  Taking care of him now shifts my priorities, and trying to catch up on my Rest too, so, that's shifted down to a 3rd Priority for now.  It's not a huge Deal, but, with how full the Calendar will be with Appointments stacked up already, it means less time to do much else now.  So, I am juggling Priorities Daily and the Medical of coarse is the highest, then the Social Services Applications for The Grandson to receive Services so that he isn't left destitute like his Uncle is at the moment.   I can only Help each of them so much, they Need Services and they're not getting any at the moment.

We already know neither will get Nutritional Assistance to have a basic necessity like Food made available to them.  Unless we make more treks to DES and never be able to get thru to them by Phone for Months.  So, just Hope that by going in Person and waiting for Hours, and just MEBBE they will Schedule a Phone Appointment with each of them to try to Qualify for very limited Temporary Assistance.   Since they don't do In Person Interviews anymore.   And you may have to do this every single Month now to receive very limited Resources that have been gutted by this Administration for SNAP.  We have Billions a Day to spend on an Illegal Ego War that has absolutely no Policy behind it... but no Funding for Supplemental Nutritional Assistance for Americans who can't afford Food! 

  

 And a lot of them are Working Americans BTW, or the Elderly, or the Disabled, or the Unemployed, or those going thru Medical Crisis that eats up their Budget to pay for their Meds and Healthcare.  If you've bought Groceries or Gas lately, the Costs have increased exponentially under this Regime.  And that's IF you had a Budget that regularly afforded such things without hardship already, but what if you didn't?   I don't consider us to be Poor, but we do have Three Generations now trying to Exist on mostly just our Pensions/Social Security/VA Disability Income... and it's a lot of Mouths to Feed and Support who otherwise, couldn't afford sufficient Food and absolutely couldn't afford Shelter. 

 That's our Reality and we're better off than many Americans are right now, so I'm Thankful I've juggled it all and stayed above Water, for now.  Treading Water, but, not Drowning at least.  The Reality Distortion Field of this Administration can't be made Sense of, and people naturally try to make Sense of the World as it affects them.  When nothing is making Sense and you can't find a way to make Sense of any of what's going on, coz it's Nonsensical, it doesn't make anyone feel at all Safe or Secure.  It feels Surreal and Scary actually, I'm guessing it's how Alice felt when she fell down that Rabbit Hole into Wonderland and how Crazy everything was in that Nonsensical World she was thrust into and had to try to Escape from intact and without losing her Mind.  

 

And I just heard the most Outrageously absurd comment on The News about the Years Long Congressional Investigation about the Motive of Why Donnie Two Dolls had extremely Sensitive Top Secret Documents he illegally brought Home to Mar-A-Largo and stored in his Bathroom and all.  They said someone was just Brilliant enuf {Raskin} they MIGHT have figured it out... finally!!!   Are you ready for it?   "COULD be about the Money..."   Duhhh... I'm not fucking kidding, I almost spilt my Drink that they said that with a Straight Face... and the Words Might and Could didn't escape me, they're not even all that Sure I guess???  That it was A Business Motivation, concerning Donnie Two Dolls... say it ain't so!  *Bwahahahahaha*  WT actual Fuck!?  It's ALWAYS been about The Money and The Grift, you Morons, I could have told you all that on Day One and without the ridiculous Performance of your intense Congressional "Investigation".  Are they really that Clueless and Stupid, or do they just think the rest of us are? 

 There were Documents so Top Secret that only Six People in the U.S., including the President, could even have Eyes on these Documents... they're that Sensitive.  Well, how lucrative would that be to whoever you Sell that Information to... just Imagine.   And I have always said he Sold Out America to the highest Bidder for any Information he has to Sell to them while being President and having Access to literally everything, it's a Money Making Operation.  He's made Billions of Dollars more in just a single Year of being President and Grifting it, than he ever made in his whole Life of being a Real Estate Developer.  This is the best Long Con he's ever been able to rip everyone off with actually, being Elected as President, not Once, but Twice, to Perfect the Long Con and profit most off of it.

  As has his entire Family and many of his Cronies, it's been very lucrative to have so much Conflict of Interest and Corruption going on in plain sight, it's not even a fucking Secret, so, let's not even Pretend it is.   I think all their Assets should be Seized frankly by our Government, of every Person involved, along with lengthy Prison Time.  Put it all against the National Debt he's Bankrupted America with the burden of.  Would be a lil somethin-somethin to pay Restitution to Victimizing the entire Country with his Illegal and Treasonous Crimes against our Country.  And, I'd personally like to know how many Victims paid with their Lives for coming forward with Credible Evidence of these Crimes?  I'm sure there is quite the Hit List that should also be Investigated for what were likely Homicides and we know Death Threats have been commonplace, so it's not even a stretch of the Imagination it went beyond Threats. 

Anyway, moving on... since... Daily it is such a lot to Unpack, isn't it?  Even some of Faux News is beginning to leak some Real News and not just the Propaganda, Cover Ups, Misinformation and Lies his Base eats up and makes all their Ratings possible.  Coz who else even takes Faux News Seriously or as actual 'News'?   In fact, all the Media Sources, IMO, seem Intimidated enuf now or Owned by those who would Control them in what they're Allowed to say now, to be not reliable and very censored.  And even 8 Million turning out for the largest Protest in American History, our Government is acting impotent and ineffective to Represent the People appropriately anymore.  Lots of Lip flapping, Partisan Politics and Posturing, so little Action or Results and Solutions.

I can distract myself with Visuals, especially Junquing forays of the Past, since, I don't really wanna go Junquing with no Money and see something Primo that I'd have to just Walk Away from, that would be quite disheartening.  *LOL*   Since there's no $$$ and I don't yet know what Tax Time will Yield until the Government finally gets us all the Documents needed to File, that they didn't provide when they should have... I'm in Stall Mode really financially.  Yes, the Granddaughter will Front us if I don't have enuf to pay the IRS, but then I'll still Owe her whatever it is and repayment can crimp an already strained Budget all the more.  We're not Billionaires, so it's not like the IRS wouldn't come after us Peons like they don't come after obscenely Rich Americans who never pay their Taxes and must owe the IRS Millions of Dollars, perhaps Billions, who knows since it's never been pursued for accumulation of YEARS or Decades they've NOT Paid their Taxes.  Or perhaps Paid Off the Right People to have it overlooked.

 

Anyway, I'm sure we'll be right to the Wire of Filing since I still don't have the 1099-R which I was told by the Military is allegedly on it's way by Mail now.  And with The Man's precarious Health continuously going Sideways now I just Pray he'll be Well enuf to go in to our CPA and go thru that whole Process with me?   Our CPA did call me coz they know usually I don't wait this long without Scheduling to come in, I explained, they know the Government has been Negligent for over 6 Years now in sending us this One Important 1099-R we MUST have in order to File.  And, when they Called we still had The Man Hospitalized and near Death's Door, so there was THAT on top of the missing Forms not sent to us.  I just want it out of the way so I can get back on Track with the Finances and know what's Owed, coz I Honestly don't expect a fucking Refund from this Administration, that's for sure, haven't had one now since 2016, when we used to always get one before that.  Not that Income has Changed much at all since 2016 tho'.

The Son said he always got Refunds too, now he always Owes as well, even when he's been fucking Unemployed or Underemployed most of the Year, so, I suspect we're not the Lone Rangers?   Even Princess T Owed and she is making Minimum Wage and not full Hours and thought she had enuf Withholdings taken out... so had to adjust them to Withhold the absolute Maximum now so she hopefully won't Owe again next Year?  WTF, Minimum Wage Earners can't even afford their own Shelter or to Support themselves without Help or Charity, so they sure can't afford to Owe the fucking IRS on a Non-Livable Wage!!!  But, that's the Squeeze being put on the American Taxpayer who actually pays their Taxes and isn't a Career Criminal or Billionaire.  Nuff said.  It's quite the Racket.  The Present Tax Structure should be abolished and lets start over with a fucking Flat Tax EVERYONE HAS TO PAY... no exceptions.  I'm all for the Wealth Tax Bernie Sanders proposed, which is just a Cent or Two on the Dollar to the 1%, who wouldn't even miss it.

But, those Greedy Bastards wouldn't even wanna give a Penny on the Dollar, even tho' they have more $$$ than anyone can count to or spend in Several Lifetimes already.  You can't Count to One Billion, let alone several Billion... or a Trillion, it would literally take 31 Years plus 251 Days to just keep Counting to One Billion, so, do the Math on how much that actually is.   Google says that accounting for the time needed to pronounce larger numbers and taking Breaks, the Task could take over 100 Years.   So, No, a Billionaire wouldn't miss a Penny Taxed on every Dollar they have, not at all, they'd still have obscene abundance they couldn't possibly spend in several Lifetimes.  You wouldn't need to feel Sorry for them being overly Wealth Taxed my Friends, not at all.  *Eye Roll and Winks*  They sure don't feel Sorry for you being Broke as Fuck and not affording Shelter or Food, and spending your Paid Tax Dollars recklessly, that's evident.

*******

Reality is becoming all the more subjective to some folks, isn't it?... Coz clearly they Reside full time now in The Reality Distortion Field... Dawn... The Bohemian