When You Have To Stay Awake You Run Right Past The Ability To Sleep

 

The new Irrigation Pump worked very well but the Head of Water we got for this Rotation sucked and some Debris from Upstream clogged some of the Irrigation Ditch that we'll have to clean out later on now.  I Wish folks Upstream would Maintain their Ditches better and pull out their own Debris instead of relying on it being swept Downstream for someone else to do the Work of taking care of it.  Some, like Omar, have covered their Ditches too and if the Pipe gets clogged I don't know how they expect to unclog it?  I don't think covering your Ditch is a Wise Idea, but some folks want that additional swatch of Land to use, even tho' it's not part of their Property really, it's an Easement for Irrigation Purposes.   But, I'm not the Enforcer of everyone doing what they should, but I do Wish they would.  We've all been Grown more than a Minute, so, Act like it!!!

I'm in a Sour Mood coz I'm Tired, Irrigation wrapped up around 2:00 a.m. and after wading around up to my Calves in Cold Water in the Dark, to drop the Gates and then turn off the Pump, with The Daughter's Help, we were both Tired but now totally Awake!  Dammit!  When you have to stay Awake you run right past the ability to then just go to Sleep afterwards.  So, that's my Blog Post Title Hook for ya.  *Winks*  The Son had pissed me off coz he drank too much and got confrontational with his Sister and I, big Mistake coz we doubled teamed his Ass and he finally sulked off to Bed and likely won't even remember he was fighting with everyone and being a Jerk.  He was having a pity party about his Life and wanting to blame everyone but himself for why it's not how he envisioned Midlife would turn out for him.  Boo Hoo... so Cry me a fucking River!  Tiny Violins Playing.  *Eye Roll*

Life isn't how you usually envision it in your fucking Fantasies and Dreams, at any Age!  So, just Deal with it like a Man, like a Grown Ass Adult who can Handle their shit or any shitty Hand Dealt!  My Retirement Years shouldn't look or be like this either!   But I don't drink myself into a stupor to Deal with it and Cope inappropriately to make a Bad Situation even Worse!!!  And I won't coddle him by telling him what he Wants to Hear and sometimes what he Needs to Hear he doesn't wanna Face.  My Friend was like that when she was Living with us for Six Months too.  And finally I'd had enuf of her embracing MAGA to Blame every Scapegoat for her Lot in Life too.   So that she didn't have to look in the Mirror and just Face her Reality and that in part, her Decisions led to much of what wasn't working out so well.  Or that sometimes Life just isn't fucking Fair even if you try to do everything Right, shit will go Wrong sometimes.  It happens.  Suck it up and keep it Moving.

I know, I know, I'm not the most compassionate Soul when someone wants to go all the way to the Basement Emotionally and use Crutches to Cope that just make things even worse for them.  I can't go that far Down to the Basement with you tho', so I'll Get Off on the First Floor and suggest you not go all the way to the Bottom either and Crash.  If that requires you to seek Professional Help to Cope better or sort shit out, then mebbe that should be an Option chosen in your Case?  I dunno, but you gotta either Work that shit out or Walk it out, there's no other way. 

  The Cavalry ain't fucking coming, I know that much about Society and the Government.  Listen, everyone is Dealing with something, and most are out mostly for themselves coz that's all they want to be carrying the Dead Weight or Excess Baggage of lest they Go Down too.   It's not even Personal most of the time, it's just how it is.  Each of us can only Carry what we can Carry and Do what we can Do.

I know in the Morning I'll have another Come To Jesus Talk with The Son about the drinking... again... ad nauseum coz he's an Alcoholic and Alcoholics be doing Alcoholic shit.  And I have zero tolerance for Drunks or Junkies, just don't, I'm glad he got Clean from the Drugs, but he really needs to get Sober from the Drink too IMO.  But, I can't do that FOR him.  I have Friends and Family who are Recovering Alcoholics and Drug Addicts, I'm Proud of each that got and STAYED Clean and/or Sober.  

 But they all know they just can't do that shit anymore or they're back to Square One if they risk their total Sobriety or keep Company with Drunks and Addicts.  It will be a Lifetime Battle and that's just the Reality of it.  I'm glad I never got that Monkey on my Back, I have no delusions it's a tough Row to Hoe if you made the Choice to Drink or Drug and it became your Bane of Existence and Problematic when you got Addicted to Substance Abusing.  Making Excuses for WHY you did matters not coz it's not Helpful.  I rarely engage in anything that is Unhelpful, waste of my Time or Energy and Resources.  I'm too Pragmatic in Nature for such Foolishness.  Never been a Fan of making things Worse instead of Better.  I'd be kicking my own Self in the Ass if I did Stupid shit all the time.

Anyway, other than that everything is fucking Swell.  *Bwahahaha*  I was glad The Son was Wise enuf to back down, under protest, but back down he did Wisely, coz I was ready to come unglued on his Ass and go Mental once I was Triggered sufficiently that I'd had Enough.  His Sister knew I'd had enuf, even tho' he started with her and I'd Mediated that so that he didn't have her go Schizo on his Ass if he Triggered her sufficiently, she was Close To The Edge and came to tell me he was Testing her and she didn't know she wouldn't Snap if he didn't leave her Alone.  That's when he and I had our Moment coz I Needed his Sister to be able to Help me with Irrigation and she'd come Home to do it FOR me, and Clean the House and Tidy Up the Property too, she'd Worked Hard for Two Days now doing all of that FOR me.  She said she's been staying away coz she isn't getting along with her Brother when he's drinking.

And she has somewhere else to go so figures better to do that than to engage with him when he's drunk.  She drinks too and is an Alcoholic, but, she handles her Liquor better than him and rarely gets antagonistic, she can, but she moderates consumption to where she won't, especially here coz she knows how much I HATE drinking or having drinkers around who become under the influence.   I had figured she was staying away due to Mando.  But she said mostly it's coz she doesn't want her Brother getting kicked out coz she felt like he was already screwing up too much and he's been kicked out before when I just can't get thru to him that he's got to fuck up somewhere else.   Be Well and Be Gone if you choose your Drinking over your Family... his Choice.  Last time he got kicked out it was over Using Drugs, he got Clean.  If he needs to get kicked out to get Sober... I dunno?  His Choice again... so he better contemplate this deeply or make other Arrangements.

Listen, if a Grown Ass Adult wants to consume Alcohol I can't stop them, but I don't have to allow them to get Drunk here at OUR Home.  Just go do that somewhere else, wreck yourself where I don't have to see it or Deal with it, I'll Pray you don't self-destruct and Kill yourself doing it.  It's always very Sad when someone is just abusing themselves like that.  I have no Words really.   Used 'em all up already.  Don't wanna feel I'm enabling someone to keep fucking up tho' either.  

 And his Mental Illness will never get better and he resents that, of all of us diagnosed, he's the one who wanted to Imagine he's NOT Mentally Ill really and he resented Medication when he was Younger and quit taking any of his prescribed Meds when he was 18 and wanted to join the Military.  Stupid Recruiters told him if he went off his Psyche Meds for a Year he could Enlist.  He went back a Year later and they determine, No, you can't Enlist after all, you're too Mentally Ill!!!  

 Well, fucking DUH, that's Why he was on the Goddamned Meds!!!   And it was Irresponsible for the Military to tell someone that Young and vulnerable not to take their Medications in order to get the Job!  Then not Hire them after they complied!   And I am quite sure some with Mental Health Issues have been Enlisted, as well as some in Law Enforcement and ICE, coz I see what's unfurling when someone probably wasn't Vetted appropriately and then is given a Weapon and the power and authority to use it. 

 Same with Gun Ownership, just coz you can get a Gun doesn't mean everyone should probably have one if they're not capable of responsible Gun Ownership or aren't Wrapped too Tight and are another Gun Violence Situation waiting to happen!  Just had another one in Seattle at some Festival in fact mowing down a bunch of People attending it... and ICE is Assassinating folks almost Weekly now... it's Spun out of Control with the senseless Gun Violence.  I'm not opposed to Responsible Gun Control and folks having Weaponry they're properly Trained to use and aren't using irresponsibly or Criminally.  I personally don't think I possess the skills to own a Gun, but The Man does and has always used his lawfully and responsibly.  Now he doesn't use them at all of coarse due to diminished capacity to.

And even if folks get their Personal Lives completely in Order, it seems that Public Life right now is in total Chaos and our Government is Circling the Drain and taking the Country Down with it.  I am not even Guardedly Optimistic, I Wish I was and could be about America's Future, but I am most certainly NOT.  We're at a dangerous precipice and going over The Edge quickly under the Leadership that's been Installed... allegedly by Americans who Voted them into Power, so... I have no Words for that Screw Up.

  And if America is Destroyed due to it, well, it's what was Voted for by far too many IMO and I was never in Agreement with any of it and it's certainly never what I personally Voted for.   Those who failed to Vote were as complicit as those who Voted this Train Wreck into Power.   And some are too Proud or Stubborn to admit they fucked up and got Conned.  But, some actually LIKE and are Proud to have Voted it into Being and they are just fucked up individuals no better than who they Voted for then and are devout Cult Members now and perhaps are all a Lost Cause.  I don't know what Redemption they could actually have if they're so far Gone and Lost their Moral Compass and Discernment to Support and Protect what is on the Right Side of History?  But, often folks don't know what they've Lost 'til it's Gone.  Paved Paradise and put in a Parking Lot... {insert the rest of those still relevant Song Lyrics of BIG YELLOW TAXI Circa 1970 by Joni Mitchell, True then, True now!}.

LATER:  So, The Son and The Daughter woke up early to make us Breakfast in Bed.  She's had a Come To Jesus with her Brother about his drinking being out of Control and that Mom is about ready to kick you out if you are out of Control again with it.  He said he knew that, and, I do Hope it doesn't come to that, only Time will tell tho'?  I think he could use some Mental Health Counseling but he's afraid they would insist he be on a Cocktail of Meds again like last time he went for Help.  They did have him on too many and weren't Helping really anyway, then he was drinking along with taking Psychotropics, which could have Killed him and wasn't a Solution, clearly.  Alcoholism can be as fatal a Disease as any and cause premature demise most certainly, the Body can only take so much abuse before it craps out.

Anyway, he's always morose the day after he's had a bender, both Mentally and or with the drink, he Hates himself for being so Unwell.  The Self Loathing is never my intention, Conviction rather than Condemnation is what I want to impart so that perhaps he can overcome at least the dependency upon Self-Medicating.  He'll always be Autistic and Bipolar, he'll always have Adult ADHD, no Cures for any of it.  I've lived with that my whole life, I just didn't Self-Medicate my way thru it nor were Psyche Meds something I could tolerate.

  For me it made things worse so Docs agreed, a low tolerance meant it wasn't Safe for me to be on any and I would just have to Cope without the aide of Medications.  I've done pretty good I think.  *Winks and Bwahahahaha*  Okay, so sometimes I am certifiably Crazy and from what I'm told, can get a bit Scary, but I exercise a tremendous amount of Self-Control and that has been my Super Power apparently.  I am a Control Freak after all, and will have Control over myself.  *Smiles* 

It's why I've Learned to give people advance Warnings when they are stepping in my Waters all Wrong and without an Invitation to come Swimming in them.  *LOL and Winks*  How Strong a Swimmer are you, coz you may be getting in over your Head, so enter those turbulent Waters that only LOOK Calm and Placid, with Great Care!  *Ha ha ha*  Having to Drown a Fool is never my Intention so I'd prefer not to have to and once we make that abundantly clear then usually we'll be doing Okay with each other and I'll remain Dawn of the Light, you'll probably Like me just fine and I make a Loyal and excellent Friend to you.  If I have to go Dark Dawn on your Ass, if you Test me, you are definitely going to meet the side of me you will find to be ruthless and without much pity or Mercy for you.  I don't like that any more than you will, so Calmly asking you to just Be Well and Be Gone before I go Postal and Scorched Earth, is more for YOUR sake than for mine, Trust and Believe.  We don't wanna go and Fall down that Rabbit Hole of Insanity!  *LOL*

The Breakfast in Bed was a Peace Offering, The Daughter has more Street Instincts than her Brother and had known that last Night he was going to have to Be Gone if he insisted on being THAT Unwell around me, or even around her.  But, this isn't her House so she told him that tho' SHE can leave if she doesn't wanna be around him and his nonsense, Mom and Dad can't and won't, nor should we, coz this IS our House and our Rules.  So, abide by them or just voluntarily decide to make other Arrangements.  I won't Judge a person unable to sort out their Demons or Handle their shit, that's for them to go thru Life with and it can be a very Solitary Journey if you run everyone else off and out of your Life.  Crazy Ed at Work said he did as a Younger Man, similar Diagnosis, takes his Psyche Meds now, but didn't back then and was an Alcoholic. 

 He's almost 80 now and been Sober over 40 Years, but it wrecked his Life and he lost everything, Businesses, his Fortune, his Marriage, his Family, before he turned shit around.  And now he's a Lonely Old Man, Sober, but a Day Late and a Dollar Short even with that much Sobriety. I Adore Crazy Ed and he's a really good Friend.  But I told him that if he was still drinking, or ever started, I know we wouldn't and probably couldn't be Friends and he knows this too.  He is always asking how The Son and The Daughter are doing with their drinking? 

  She's as Addicted to the Fire Water as her Brother is, but she Moderates consumption better and doesn't ever drink to get drunk, and therein lies the Key if you can't get Sober.  Moderation in all things, especially if those things could be harmful to you or other people, is crucial.  Excess never is gonna be.  She has her 1-3 Mike's Hard or this new Hard Drink that takes her Edge Off her level of Crazy... and then she can be functional and not end up in a Mental Institution or Arrested.  She's done Better than ever before and that may have to be Enough.

With The Son, last Night, he took me all the way to The Edge.  I was just looking into the Abyss... and about taken to the place to ask him if he had just ONE more of those drinks he was drinking to give himself that much fucking Courage to Challenge me?  Why?  So I could Slam it in front of him and then go to War with him and show him what a Mean drunken motherfucker I could or would be if I drank and see if that made a lasting Impression he would never Forget?  The Daughter was like, Mom, I don't think you should do that... 

But if I thought that was what it would take to make him consider Sobriety Seriously, I fucking would risk it and they both know it.  Coz I don't frankly Care if I Die Tomorrow, I've had a good Run and would have Eternal Peace then, and I have very little Peace now and have done all I can to keep my Calm, keep everyone taken Care of, maintain Control of myself and be the best version of myself.  But, it's a Choice and I could Choose otherwise too... so I want to make that abundantly Clear to even Spawn of mine that choose to be Fools with or around me.

TJ came over to talk to me this Morning, he had to go back to Work for a Septic Company coz his Social Security isn't cutting it with having a Young Wife and New Baby.  He'll likely have to Work 'til he drops now, but, his decision to do all of that in his Golden Years and when he has a lot of Medical Debt coz of serious Illness.  He realizes it but nothing to do but bite the Bullet in his Old Age now.   Men in their Mid-60's and beyond who are still Fathering Children, I don't know what the Hell they're even thinking except succumbing to Carnality?  And that comes at a Price coz Kids ain't Cheap to Raise and the Economy is not being Kind to anyone but the Billionaire Class right now or those engaged in Criminal Enterprises. 

 We talked about Irrigation, we think perhaps the Bad flow is coz someone Upstream is Stealing Water again, it's happened before.  Some take more than they are Assigned and some don't Opt In to Pay for their Annual Distribution Fee, but sneakily take Water they never were then authorized by SRP so aren't allotted for any.  The Water itself is no Cost for Agricultural Zoned Property, but you must Pay the Distribution Fee Annually to participate.   And Stealing Water in a Desert... well... that could get someone in over their Head with their Neighbors, that's for Sure!!!  So, I'd Pity the Fool...

*******

I'm an Insomniac in the Arizona Desert this day... LOL... Dawn... The Bohemian

When A Clever Post Title Hook Eludes You

 

Above is the Pix my Friend Giselle took of me buying my stuff at the last Event for The Son {Cig Case} and myself {Mannequin Hand}. Well, after The Daughter being gone for 3 Weeks I can tell she's Home now.  I woke at 3:30 a.m. on a day I can actually Sleep In... dammit... and went to the Kitchen to get something refreshing to drink and it had been Deep Cleaned in the middle of the Night, nice Surprise.  But there were some recently dirty Dishes in the Sink coz she also Cooks and Eats at Crazy Hours and leaves "Clues" and "Evidence" behind.  *LOL and Winks*  I don't mind, coz when she Cleans, it's spotless and she's very OCD about it looking Perfect.  She's a bundle of contradictions like that tho', sometimes when she's occupied a Space it can also look ransacked and scary.  *LOL and Le Sigh*  

So there were some uneaten Carne Asada Ramen Cup O'Noodles on the Counter, and evidence of some Cooking and making something from Scratch going on in that Sink of dirty Dishes as well.  But, since the rest of the Kitchen had been whipped into a thing of Beauty, I'll just quietly do those few Dishes and take one for the Team without Complaint.  *Smiles*  She had also brought Home loads of Treasures, likely items she'd worked out in Trade for who she's been doing Work for these past 3 Weeks.  If they need Help she'd do it for Nothing if they're very Old and Broke.  But, if they have something she could use or think we could, or want, then she'll gladly also work something out in Trade if they don't have Money to offer her for the Work she's done for them.

So, she came Home with some really Sweet "Traded" items coz most of the Old Guys she's Housekeeping and Caregiving for are Scavengers like I am and have Hoarded Up some Good Stuff.  *Smiles and Winks*  She got a Street Sign that she Sweet Talked the Recycle Center Guy out of, he can't Sell them but Gifted it to her coz it's the Surname of Four of her Kiddos.  So, she's Surprising Princess T with it to hang in her Room.  Then, she got a Foot Bath for her Dad and a Blood Pressure Cuff.  And an Antique Canning Jar and Samsung Digital Camera for me.  She loaded up so much in my Truck when I went to get her, no Wonder she asked me to pick her up, she Needed a Pickup Truck, it looked like she was Moving a whole Household!  *LOL*

She now has a Vintage Bicycle with a Basket, Clothing, Vintage Dolls for me to Sell at the Antique Mall or Donate to Charity of what I can't use for Resale.  She'd done the Hair of all the Dolls so they looked newer and dressed them all.  She said they hadn't looked like that when she got them, she'd taken great pains to get them presentable and not like Zombie Dolls and Buck Naked.  *LOL*  I forget what else she was pulling out of Bags and Plastic Tubs she'd thrown into the Truck, it took Minutes for her to load it all up and then unload it once we got Home.  So she had been quite Productive and Resourceful during her 3 Week hiatus from Home.  She rarely comes Home empty Handed and while in Mexico she learned how to Scavenge anything you'd Need or Want... or Create it.

The Pump had indeed gone out for the Irrigation to the Front and East Side Yard in Front, so has to be replaced Today since the Water is coming at Midnight on Sunday/Monday until 1:45 a.m.... whether we're ready to receive it all or not.  So we were scrambling to Test the Pump, The Son removed it, put it in a Bucket of Water, yep, it's Fried and won't even turn on.  The Daughter reminded us Mando had left a smaller Pump and we could use that one until I have the Money on Payday the 1st of August, to get the proper sized one.  But, we couldn't locate it and now she thinks it got taken?   Not by Mando coz he doesn't have it nor did he have any use for it, he got it for us to pump Flood Water out of a Barrel we Collect it in that runs off the Roof during Monsoon Storms.

But she went over to Rob's to see if he'd come and taken or borrowed it?  He claimed he hadn't, but he had our Rake, she got it back, now it's MIA again already.  So, she thinks it is Rob and he, like her Brother, when he's had a few, forgets what he's Borrowed or Loaned.  We're always returning his things that he leaves over here and forgets about completely.   And we've loaned and borrowed so much from one another now that it is difficult to recall what belongs to whom?  *LOL*  I'd rather he ask first so I can tell him if it is something I KNOW for certain is ours and not his.  But I don't even know where Mando Sourced the Pump from and it could have been Rob.  Rob is always bringing over Free Stuff that he thinks I could use or Need, and often it's a Gift to Keep, like that recent Display Rack.

So, what's a Rake mistake when he's Gifted me with an Expensive Commercial Display Rack recently?  He can have said Rake, I have another one I bought to replace it already and just told The Son to keep in the RV Garage Mahal Stored, when he's done using it... rather than Outside leaning up against the Wall.  Most Yard Tools are mass produced and all look the same, so mistaken identity is understandable... is that my Rake... I forgot I Loaned it to them... and if he needs it back then he's just taking it not realizing it wasn't even his Rake to begin with.  Anyway, que sera sera, now I shall HAVE to go to "Tractor Supply Co." Today to get a new Pump and see if I have enuf left in any Account this close to EOM not to have to Charge it?  I may have Deposited enuf from Earnings at the Antique Mall this Pay Period to cover the Cost?

Princess T went to her Boyfriend Rusty's when she was sure her Mom would be here to help me with Irrigation, she didn't want me trying to do it without Help.  She helped last Rotation since her Uncle was at Work and her Mom never did show up but had tried to send Mando to help.  Which, we didn't want and so Rob turned him away.  And since she doesn't Work on Monday Morning or Sunday, she could be available to help me with it again when it comes if I'd needed her to.  Rob says he's available if necessary, since he's doing the Irrigation before we get ours for his Parents anyway.  They always have their Rotation just before we do, and then Manuel, the New Neighbor behind our Property who Bought Laura's Mini Farm, gets their Rotation after ours.  So, The Son has gotten to know Manuel really well already, they are a nice Young Hispanic Family that Bought the place and very Neighborly.

When you have Irrigation you Learn to be cooperative as a Community since it's quite necessary to make the Irrigation Rotations go smoothly with no problems.  So you simply must get to Know your Neighbors, which is a good thing, especially those by you who will be their Water before you and directly after you.  I think Irrigation is a Pain in the Ass, but Water is like Gold in the Desert and distribution of it by Irrigation is a Privilege not afforded to many Residential Properties anymore.  The Water is given Free, you only pay an Annual nominal Fee for the Distribution of it by Salt River Project.  You can Opt Out at any time and some folks are too Cheap, or consider it too much Maintenance and a hassle to Opt In.  Or, some Mini Farms have converted to Desert Landscaping on their Acreages and don't require it now.

I Love having this much Greenery and Pasture coz it cools down around your Home considerably, and looks good, but, to whom much is given, much is required, it's a lot of Upkeep and regular Maintenance.  So a lot of the converted to Desert Landscaping Properties in the Community do often belong to Residents who are Aging Out and can no longer Maintain Pasture, Crops, Livestock on their Mini Farms now.  And some opt to Sell once they reach that Age where it's Too Much now and they have no Younger Generations living there with them or don't have the Resources or Contacts to Hire the Help instead.  I was up so early I got the rest of the Yardwork done before the Sun came up fully so I had a lot of Shade but it was Wicked Humid so I'm Sweating like Hell.  This may require a dip in the Pool to Cool Off.  The Son had raked the Yard so piles were easy to pick up of Yard Debris of Leaves and cut Grass.

The Pump ended up setting me back about $350 even with my LOWE's Military Discount.  Other Stores didn't have the Pumps and we got the heaviest duty all Metal one, some were $159 but Plastic and only Warrantied for a Year, this one has a 3 Year Warranty.  Plus think one is more Horsepower and Pumps more Water per Minute by quite a lot... so is more efficient.  The Son will put it in now, we stopped at a Fav Mexican Restaurant ZAMORAS in Old Towne near where our Historic Home is that we Sold, for Breakfast/Brunch.  Ran into my Friend John there, he's Retired now, he's 71 and had worked for CIRCLE K Convenience Stores for 27 Years but had a Heart Attack, Two Hip Replacements and Back Surgery, so he said it was just too hard to keep going and he Retired last Year when he turned 70.  It was good to see him again, had been about a Year since we had.  The Daughter is gonna Clean the Old Pump so she can get it working again and have it for backup.

So, now everything got accomplished and it's only 10:30 a.m. still!  We brought Takeout Home for The Man to eat.  It's good to have accomplished so much so early.  I got all my newly bought Fiesta Ware put away too on the Display Rack, there were several New Colors I didn't previously have.   There's Projects now at Home I can Work on Inside, now that most of the Outside stuff got accomplished so early before it got stupidly Hot, it's already 110 and it's only 10:41 a.m. now!!!  So I think another Record Breaking kind of day.   I did our load of Laundry so I'm all caught up on chores before Noon.  The Daughter was telling me she talked to her Middle Daughter of the Trio in Mexico, whose completely turned her Life around, she had been the Prodigal Child.  She is now worried about her Older Sister, the Oldest of the Trio there, who has always been the "Responsible" one.

The long time Boyfriend broke up with the Oldest one and moved out, he had been helping with expenses, but, she lost her Job and had to drop out of College coz not all expenses are Paid by her Scholarship.  So, it was the Trifecta of Bad Things happening all at once and now her Younger Sister is worried about her.  She said she's been drinking, which is totally out of Character for that one, she's always been the very wholesome one and took on Raising her Two Younger Sisters and Supporting them after their Paternal Grandma Maria Died and left them basically Orphaned and to fend for themselves when we couldn't get them into the U.S. for me to finish Raising the Trio.  I think the Child is probably on Burnout at a Tender Age coz she's had to grow up so fast and assume so much responsibility and Care of the Family there all by herself really.

Plus, I think I mentioned that their Dad got Sentenced and will likely spend the rest of his Life in Prison now, he never did turn his Life around and was posing Dangers to everyone by his associations and reckless behaviors.  I'm glad he's out of the way but I know it's hard on his Youngest Four Daughters, there is a Younger Child by his Ex-Wife, who is Younger than his Children he had by our Daughter, and all his other Kids by other failed Relationships.  He's left a lot of hardships and heartache in his Wake and came from a very respectable influential Family so I know it has cause them a lot of pain and shame.  There was no Saving him from himself however, that's how it is with some People.  I just think it's been a LOT in recent Years for the Kiddos to Deal with and they're still Youngsters only just blossoming into Adulthood.

I don't know what happened with the Boyfriend, they had been Childhood Sweethearts and Lifelong Friends before they Dated.  He was a good Guy and they seemed to be doing very well together, so this was a Surprise.  And she's not taking the breakup well at all, Young Love on the Rocks is never taken well tho' and I'm sure she's brokenhearted.  This was her first Love really, she wasn't one to Date anybody before him.  I'm saddened to hear it didn't work out for them and that he left her becoz I know she was in Love with him.  But, anyone that can Walk Out of your Life was never tied to your Destiny.  Hard to acknowledge that fact when you're Young tho'.  Sometimes even when you're Older.  Heartbreak is Heartbreak at any Age.  And it's never pleasant to have your Heart broken.

The Daughter has been Cleaning Inside and Outside ever since she got Home so she's gotten a LOT done in just a Day.  I really appreciate it coz it needed it.  She and I swam earlier in the Pool and got a Metal Sign off the Deep End that had blown in during the Storm last Night, which had really strong Winds and Dust.   The Sign had been on the Wall by the Deep End where our Diving Board used to be.  We had the Diving Board removed when we Bought the Home becoz Insurance won't Underwrite the Property with one due to Liability Issues and we wouldn't be using it anyway.  Another Sign had blown off the Wall too, we have Old Street and Traffic Signs we got from Salvage Purchases.  It was so hard and took so much time to get that Sign off the Bottom coz it was in very deep Water, our Pool goes to 10 Foot so we had to move it up the incline of the Pool, which met with resistance to our efforts. 

She Tidied Up our Back Patio, Poolside, and we brought some things inside The RV Garage Mahal from there too.  Tonight when the Irrigation comes I'm going to help The Daughter to do it.   She and Rob got the new Pump installed while The Son was taking a Nap.  She was Thankful for Rob's Help and expertise in installing Irrigation Pumps and he brought a Big Umbrella for them to work under the Shade of.  She did the Cage around the Pump, which is a Mesh Wire Cage surrounding it to keep debris away from getting sucked into it and she'd made a Metal Tray for it to sit on with Mesh between the Tray and the Pump Bottom as well to keep out and strain any debris further.  This should keep it cleaner than the previous Pump, which did show signs of having some clogging over the Years it's been submerged and working in the Ditch.

So, anyway, by Midnight when the Irrigation arrives we'll know if everything is now working fine or not?  *All Body Parts Crossed since I had to spend so much Money I didn't really have to replace said Pump*  Payday can't come quickly enuf coz we're completely Tapped Financially and I haven't even made my Truck Payment yet since I had to use the Money for Emergencies that arose instead, plus the MUCH higher Utility Bill this Month.  It should still arrive on time to pay the Truck Note without a Late Charge by the time we get our August 1st Pensions hitting.  I used to pay everything early, and pay off Loans early, and have most things Paid for, now we're just trying to make the damned Ends meet most Months.   And Emergencies seem to be happening back to back without ceasing, and you cannot adequately prepare for that.  I have an Emergency Savings just in case, but I try not to indiscriminately tap into it or too often.

 

Next Months "Sweet Salvage" Event will fall after my Birthday this Year, sometimes the Four Day Event has fell right at my Birthday, but it's always the 3rd Thursday of the Month for Opening Day thru Sunday when it Ends.  I already bought myself my early Birthday Pressy Online Weeks ago when the Seller gave me a Deep Discount on it so that I could afford it.  I don't expect to do anything Earth Shattering for it, mebbe take myself out for a nice Meal, unless that's something the Family wants to do for me.  Mostly they know a Good Birthday to me means just having some Me Time to do whatever I wanna do.   This Year it does fall on a Weekend, a Sunday, when everyone has the Day Off tho', so I can be Footloose and Fancy Free since I'd have no commitments and wouldn't be taking anyone to Work or picking them up. 

I just watched a good Movie with Dermot Mulroney called RUTHLESS on AMAZON Prime, he's aged well, I hadn't seen him in anything for a long time.  It's kept me up while doing Irrigation since The Daughter and I had to do it, The Son drank too much and then got argumentative so we just told him to go to Bed, he's got Work early anyway, and the drinking is becoming quite problematic when he's depressed and overdoing it.  The last thing you need to do when you're feeling down is do something more of a depressive like Alcohol and I keep telling him that.  I know everything sucks right now pretty much for most folks, but drowning out sorrows at the bottom of a Bottle never works out or improves things.  And I will almost always get Triggered around anyone drinking too much to where they're now acting belligerent or throwing themselves a big old pity party.  I told him this is gonna get him kicked out if he doesn't start moderating how much he partakes coz nobody wants to Deal with it.  But a Grown Ass Adult has to Control their own Behaviors and reap consequences of when it's not Okay with everyone else.

I know he doesn't have anywhere else to go and only has part time Hours at a Minimum Wage Job and no Transportation.   So, I don't want to have to ask him to make other arrangements with no options.  But, if he can't moderate the Alcohol consumption sufficiently, he has to do it somewhere else, not here.   Tough Love requires Tough Calls, and right now I got too much else to Manage and he knows that, so he has to get his fucking Ducks in a Row.  It's upsetting to me coz he does a lot around here to Help when he's Sober, but Alcoholics once they drink, it's just downhill from there with how they are and what Bridges they burn behind them due to their Substance Abuse Issues.  He got Clean but he has been unable to get Sober and it's a Problem that's caused most, if not all, of his other Problems. 

  If anyone has a Loved One battling their Demons and Self-Medicating to do it or numb it, they know it's complicated and the only Solution is abstinence, if and when they can Manage that.  Some do, some don't or never will, but it's up to them... it ain't up to me.  I'm Clean and I'm Sober and I made the Choice not to Drink or Drug, even tho' many of my Friends went down that Road, and even quite a few of my Family.  Every Adult has to decide what NOT to do as much as they have to decide what to do in Life.  If you fail to make Good Decisions on a consistent basis it's pretty much a Given it will Negatively impact Life.  Not just for you either and the collateral damage is perhaps the most damaging part of it, when your own Bad Choices Negatively impact the Lives of other people.  It doesn't even matter how Successful or even how Famous someone is, if they keep fucking up, it catches up to them.  And I have a low tolerance anymore for anyone else's fuck-ups.

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When a Clever Post Title Hook eludes you... just say that for your Post Title... Winks... Dawn... The Bohemian