Projection And Lies... There's A Lot Of It Going Around

 So, some Bot found my Blog and left a shitload of Idiot Bot Comments, but the Spam Filter caught it and I just did a mass delete to clean up the messy Bot Trolling Shit.  I don't know what Purpose they think they serve since the Comments are always so stupid and obvious Spam.  Couldn't Elon's Tech Geek Teen Team be working on something productive like that, eliminating Spam and Computer Viruses for the American People?  Just a thought, perhaps they'd even be somewhat qualified enuf to do that?  *Eye Roll*  None of them, including Elon, is qualified to do Audits and knows nothing of the Governmental Agencies they're recklessly gutting.  In their Ignorance, they're doing irreparable damage and harm to Government's ability to function and Serve the People.

 Streamlining function and eliminating waste is possible, but not by a Hatchet Job and going haphazardly berserk, breaking everything and leaving nothing but carnage in your Wake.  I found it hilarious DOGE tried to say they "discovered" that Dead People had been collecting Social Security... even from BEFORE Social Security's inception in August of 1935!!!   Such a blatantly obvious total bullshit fabrication. *LMAOROTF*  Of coarse how many MAGA Base will run with it anyway, having no idea Social Security hadn't even been Founded and around that long, so how could anyone, Dead or Alive, have been collecting it since before 1935?  Besides, Deaths are Reported to Social Security by Funeral Directors and other Agencies like the VA, CMS, etcetera, even if Family Members or Friends don't.  Identify these Decedents allegedly still getting Paid!  I'll wait...

And BTW, let's have some transparency about how much Elon and his Tech Geek Teens are getting Paid to do what they're doing?   It's been reported to be about Thirty Nine Million in a Month outlaid or earmarked so far.   The biggest single item they've allegedly Saved the American Taxpayer is Eight Million, which, BTW they erroneously reported as Eight Billion and got Called Out on the gross exaggeration and had to Come Clean, guess they can't accurately read Numbers either?  *Bwahahaha*   So if it's costing us about Thirty Nine Million to Save Eight Million and some Change, well, we can see where the Waste and Fraud REALLY is coming from, Grade School Math makes that quite obvious.

   And about 40% of the Contracts cancelled by DOGE aren't expected to produce any Savings whatsoever, the Administration's own Data shows.  It is said to be like confiscating used Ammunition after it's been shot.  How "efficient" IS the Department Of Government Efficiency?  Seems, not very already.   So, just another Big Grift at Taxpayer Expense being skimmed by the Regime and their Nepotism Bromance Hires.  There are no "Savings" to any of us, in fact, it's Costing us more and will continue to do so, since just about all Checks and Balances or Investigations into THEIR Fraud and other Criminal Activities has been eliminated, how handy.  We'll be Cleaned Out before they're Done.

  This is Presidential Sanctioned Robbery at it's most basic form of Looting the American Taxpayers and Robbing them blind.  Is that REALLY what anyone Voted for, actually?  Lemme know if IT IS what you Voted for, and just give me all your Money then, if you don't have Need of it and gladly don't Mind being relieved of it.  Coz you're getting Hosed.  Thank You.  *Eye Roll*   Every good Con will take everything you have and not Feel any kind of remorse for having done it, and Played you, it's what they do.   Smile to your Face and Stab you in the Back... so if you Trust one, expect the inevitable to happen to you.  Whatever they're saying that you desperately wanted to Hear and Believe, was part of the Con, if their Lips are moving, they're Lying.   Misplaced Trust is a terrible thing to be Wasted, in being Defrauded and Fooled, while taken for a Ride.

I contacted The Niece in Oklahoma about the Arizona Trip with The Grandson and she doesn't know any more particulars than I do.  She is visiting The Grandsons next Week, since she'll be close by on a Business Trip anyway, so will stop in and get up to speed on whatever Plan is being hatched?  She's still willing to be the U-Haul Driver to Arizona and would take a Bus back to Oklahoma, she Works from Home, so has the latitude to Work from anywhere at her Career.   And on the Side she often plays Pro Poker at the Casinos and Arizona has plenty of those nearby, and she has Family and Friends here in Arizona still too to visit.  She just can't afford to Live here, too expensive for a Single Woman who prefers to Live Alone.

The Man was being very Dramatic this Morning.  He got up way early then made a Production of sighing heavily and coming back to Bed as Princess T and I were getting ready to take her to Work.  She goes in at 6:00 a.m. on Tuesdays, but gets off earlier too.  Nobody in the Back Production Area works on Sundays or Mondays.   But, Monday is Half Price Day and it gets messy, so they need to tidy up for an Hour on Tuesday to get the Sales Floor back in Order.   She said her Boss is leaving and they don't know yet whose slated to replace him?  She's heard Rumors and hasn't been there long enuf to know if that's a Good thing or not of whose allegedly replacing him?   I urged her not to listen to Insider Gossip, Judge for herself.   She's Perceptive, don't take anyone else's Word for their Perception, have your own Take on it.

Anyway, The Man being Dramatic usually means he's going to be higher Maintenance than usual in the Caregiving Arena, since, he's Dramatically seeking Attention with the histrionics.  *Winks*  Mostly I pretend not to hear or notice the Performance, since, if ignored, he'll usually knock it off if I'm not taking the Bait and asking what's Wrong.  *LOL*   Nothing is Wrong, it's just a bid for Attention.   So everyone finds it more Amusing or Annoying than it soliciting any concerns.   It fails to incite pity and only serves to arouse irritation usually if he lays it on too thick.  I've told him this but he forgets and goes back to exaggerated behavior.  He'll drag his foot loudly, he has a legit permanent Limp, but, he'll be louder about dragging it to make more Noise, during a Performance.  I'll tell him to put Socks on to muffle the shuffle.  *Bwahahaa*

Then he'll resort to Tapping, Sighing loudly, mumbling Oh Jesus Oh God under his Breath, Sniffling or Blowing Air out his Mouth loudly, crumpling shit like his Plastic Tea Bottles or rustling Papers, interrupting whatever you're trying to do by getting in the way or intentionally hindering you... until I finally lose my shit at him when I've just about had Enough.  *LOL*   The Adult Kids will be more inclined not to Ignore the exaggerated behaviors and just start Laughing now.  Which, he knows it's at him, so it only escalates his Moodiness and then he'll get upset and angry.  Even tho' he initiated all the Man Drama to begin with and they choose the reaction of finding it humorous, rather than so irritating they engage in getting Negative with him!   I prefer to Ignore and if he persists, then just flip out, when I've had Enough of the Man Drama, hey, it Works for me.  And it's an immediate Cease and Desist.  *Winks* 

That's why I know the Cognitive Decline in this President is something his Staff and Handlers all must have to Deal with on a Daily Basis and Cover Up.  Only much more is at stake coz he's fucking been installed to Lead in the highest Position in the World!!!   I couldn't Imagine giving The Man the task of trying to run anything in this Household, now that his Cognitive Decline is so advanced, shit would get cocked up real fast!   And in all Honesty, he's not in as bad a shape Mentally or Cognitively as the completely Unhinged Orange Lunatic from my Observations.   How that man is making any important decisions even for himself is a Mystery to me?  Covering it Up and Pretending any of it is Normal, has to be a Full Time Job in and of itself, with tons of Creative Spin required, Lord have Mercy!!!

 His Tantrums were exposed by his First Administration, where he's thrown Food at the Wall in the White House even, and exhibits Toddler Like Behaviors in Public where we all can See and Hear.  Not a Single Inner Circle Person in the whole First Administration Shitshow has kept Quiet now.  Tho' they shouldn't be Applauded, they should have Come Clean sooner and were Complicit.  He can't even complete a Sentence that makes any Sense at all and is totally untethered to Reality now.  His response to being Called Out on a Lie is to just tell the Lie again.  The French President was very Kind in that recent fiasco of a Press Conference where our President told a blatant Lie, Macron corrected it gently, then the Orange Liar repeated it yet again!  Refusing to acknowledge his fabrication isn't the Truth at all.  The Man still can know what's Real most of the time, tho' he gets confused too and makes shit up sometimes that he truly Believes and won't be convinced otherwise, it's common with Dementia and TBI. 

 He knows better than to throw anything for any reason, or to hurt someone and be allowed to get away with it, even tho' he has an explanation for what's going on with him.  Yet he requires Full Time Caregiving and decisions made FOR him!!!   We have a President that in all likelihood should have a Caregiver now.  He IS a Danger to Others clearly, and at the very least should be examined for the extent of his obvious decline, which seems to worsen Daily.   We see it and yet nobody is addressing it and very seldom is even talking about it.  As if ignoring it is the answer, which, in the case of running a Country, and Harming People, cannot be just ignored, it won't go away or get better. 

  

I ignore The Man's Behavior becoz it's not harming anyone and he's Safe, Lovingly Cared For, and not making Important Decisions while in that Condition that he cannot Help or always Control on his own.  We don't Enable him.   I see a Partisan Enabling Team hard at Work to just save their own Skins by latching onto this Pathetic Man.  Who somehow has developed a Cult Following of Admirers and Sycophants that pretend the Insanity is somehow a brilliant Strategy and perfectly Sane.  Most don't seem to Care if it's Illegal, Cruel, Inhumane, or Immoral, which speaks Volumes about their Character and Moral Compass, or lack thereof.   My Opinions about certain folks has definitely Shifted, I Knew them not I guess... who they were at their very Core and kept Secretly hidden for so long... until it was finally Revealed.

  And some folks even Sold America Out for Cheap Eggs and Gas, which, they didn't even get!   Those kind are Bought Out Cheaply with vague Cheap Promises that there is no Intention on Delivering, but, which to the Uneducated and Ill Informed, sound Good Enough to Sell Out for.   You can't Fix Stupid.   Remember how many of 'em perished horribly during Pandemic?  Natural Selection at Work.  Nothing you can do or say about it that would have Helped or Saved them from themselves.  I tried, and failed, to reach some of them, knowing what bad decisions were gonna Cost them, and mebbe even those they exposed to their Stupidity, their very Lives.   During Pandemic I kept the Covidiots at bay, didn't let them NEAR me.  I'm doing the same with the MAGA for similar reasons, the Toxicity of what they Believe is Unhealthy and even Dangerous in some cases.

And they are who they just are I suppose and we live amongst them so have to find a way to coexist as a Nation more Harmoniously, or it will get increasingly messier and more hostile.  I don't Wish them Ill Will, tho' their Choices and Karma will be of their own making.   A fellow Blogger did bring out an important point of the Christofascists, whose Goal is to incorporate the Religious into the Political and create a Theocracy.  They latched onto this Regime becoz they see it as handy to implementing their own Agendas to force their extreme Religious views and brand of what they perceive as Christianity upon everyone involuntarily.  As a Christian I am opposed to their Brand of Extremism and pretense of being Christ Like in any way.  Religion forced upon anyone involuntarily is NOT Godly, regardless of what brand of it you're following.  Being Inhumane, Cruel and Hateful to other Human Beings, is NOT exhibiting anything Godly.  Period.

I Binge Watched an entire Short NetFlix Series called "Zero Day" with Robert DeNiro and Angela Bassett, it was very good, Politically intriguing actually.  Probably not a coincidence, since DeNiro Directed it too, and he's very Open about his Criticism of this Regime, this President and especially about the January 6th Insurrection.  He openly states his Admiration of the Heroism of the Capitol Police and others Serving who were harmed that day Protecting everyone from the Insurrectionists who are all Domestic Terrorists who were led by this President, who is also a Traitor to our Country and has commit Treason and Espionage openly, pandered to and embraced our most dangerous Enemies.  The Series is a Thriller about Cybersecurity vulnerability and Political Corruption that can go all the way to the Top in the realm of Domestic Terrorism. 

Okay, little Rant for Today is over... let's Move On.  *Winks*  This Week, on Thursday, I have my Cardiologist Meeting to discuss, Hopefully, the results of all the Testing they did and get some Answers?   If they reveal nothing at all, my assumption shall be there is nothing Wrong with my Heart and I needn't continue seeing a Cardiologist who can't Help me with whatever IS Wrong.  We still don't know what caused the random Blot Clot that went to my Brain and caused the Stroke?  Or that it won't happen again if we can't determine what the Cause is so we can begin some Treatment that would best Work to ensure it doesn't or at the very least lower the Risks.  Right now we know nothing at all, no Causes, no Explanations, no Advice about what to do or not do... winging it totally.

So, I'm contemplating what to do for Today now?  We got the Spaces at the Antique Mall Tidied and loaded up for the Week with Inventory now, so I don't have to go in again until the End of this Pay Period, which will be Saturday Night.   So far I'm doing just Okay this Pay Period, might get another Small Check, it's not looking promising to get a decent Check tho', but, it doesn't look like I won't be getting one if the rest of the Week's Sales stay at least stable?  And, it looks like I won't Owe, which, a lot of Vendors are still sweating that yet again, Sales have flatlined or fallen dramatically ever since the Inauguration.  People seem Scared and even the MAGAts aren't out there spending, so I suspect they're Scared too, but most won't admit it?  It would be admitting they made a huge Mistake electing him.  I'd have a bit more respect if they just did acknowledge the obvious, like my Co-Worker Vendor Friend Ken did.  It was Humbling to openly admit it, so I was Compassionate about my Response to his Humility.  It can be hard to be Wrong, Betrayed and Deceived, I don't Doubt that for a Minute.

Anyway, it's the EOM and I'm broke, so it is limiting what we can actually do that wouldn't cost anything.   I could go to the Gym after 9:00 a.m., so am contemplating that, I Need to go and be more consistent about it and habitual about exercising in fact.  Might help this general Malaise and Fatigue I've been having hang over me?   I'm not driving all the way across the City again to go to The Desert Botanical Gardens, Gas prices are way up again so I don't wanna waste Gas doing that even tho' my Membership gets me in without additional cost.  Being turned away this Weekend just pissed me off too.  I will ask them when I do go back Why we weren't given notifications so as not to waste our Time and Money showing up only to be turned away, even tho' we're Prepaid Members?  

Sometimes they extend Invitations for a Paid Event that doesn't get covered with your Membership.  Now I feel as tho' I have to always Open those E-Mails and ensure it also means Restricted access for anyone who declines the Invitation to a Paid Event?   Usually Events are Hosted After Hours when the Garden would normally be Closed and remains Open just for that Special Paid Event, this time it was the whole fucking Weekend!  Restricting Access for Two full Days to anyone without Tickets to the Sold Out Event.   Most Members and Visitors go to the Gardens on a Weekend and during the more temperate Weather Months, so I resent them Closing it off to us for those particular Weekends and without proper Notice.   When they had COVID Restrictions I didn't renew Membership for Three Years due to it.  Yes, they asked Why since I've been a Member for Decades.  Why have a Membership if you get turned away is always my Response.

I feel the same about the Ageism Restrictions at Lifetime Fitness.  But my Medicare Advantage Plan, at least for now, is paying my Membership, so it's no additional Premium paid by me out of Pocket to what my Medicare already Costs us.   And Yes, we PAY for Medicare just like we PAID into Social Security, so it's not Charity, and now we PAY for TriCare too even tho' The Man's Military Contractual Agreement with the Government, when he first Enlisted, in the 1960's, was that his Medical Coverage and that of his Dependents would be Free for Life as part of his EARNED Benefits.   Now he has to Pay and the Government didn't Honor their part of the Contractual Agreement made to the Veterans, tho' they Honored their part of the Agreement and EARNED that Benefit that has been eroded badly or taken away entirely.  Not like there's a Do-Over after he Served and Honored his part of the 39 Year Commitment to his Country's Defense.

And most Federal Workers are now finding that out too, all the Honorable Service to Country as Public Servants means absolutely nothing, and they are being royally screwed over now too.  Welcome to the Club.   Doesn't matter what protective Laws are in place when they're not being abided by, when your Government decides to be Above the Law and ignore Legalities, Laws, and what is Constitutional.  After all, the Bought and Paid For Judges of the Supreme Court gave him total Immunity from Prosecution, no matter what Laws he now Breaks and what Crimes he decides to now commit, how handy.  Shows that you can literally Buy your way out of anything, in case you were Wondering if you could... yep, you definitely CAN in America... it's ALL Transactional now openly and flagrantly.   Not that it wasn't before, but it is worse and more brazen now.  No further Need for Illusions that it's not.  Everyone has a Price and can be Bought and Sold Out.

I know, sorry, I looped back around to a Rant... ha ha ha ha, how can you NOT these days?  I mean, Really?   The Fluff exclusive Bloggers must be Bubble Wrapping themselves to insulate them from the Reality swirling around them and Escaping totally down their Rabbit Holes here in The Land.  Or perhaps are now full time Living in an Alternate Reality of their own choosing?   I tried, I just can't go that deeply down into Denial, Fiction and a Fantasy I've concocted to Spare myself... or to Spare you... Sorry.  Plus, I have a Mouth on me and am not inclined to avoiding controversy becoz I'm too scared to speak Truth to Power or just to appease whoever might become confrontational or has such delicate sensibilities almost anything can and will offend them. 

 Some folks take Offenses as if it's a fucking Gift they gladly and readily Receive, whether it's intended for them or not!  Pleeease, wouldya just quit Dramatically clutching the Pearls in mock Horror and knock it off already!  *LOL and Huge Eye Roll*  If you're that delicate, like a Flower, how did you even Live this long without being crushed and damaged completely?  Listen, anytime someone is inclined to histrionics over damned near anything, I have to Call it Out, by calmly and publicly ask them if they're always prone to being this damned Dramatic?   Yes, I do it to Amuse myself coz the response is always like watching a Bad Actress or Actor trying to Play a Part and thinking they really Nailed it, but didn't, and the Performance isn't cutting it and they look ridiculous.  And Yes, they can Control it once it doesn't Work anymore and illicit their desired Response. *Bwahahahaha*

Anyone truly Hurt and Offended by something, you can tell the difference between them and the fakers who are performative about taking Offenses.   I would never intentionally offer an Offense to someone that I know would be Hurtful, if you Get Off doing that, you're a Sick Human.   Everyone deserves to be treated with Humanity and some Dignity, if you can't muster that towards other Human Beings, you're very likely the defective Misfit within Society.   Some folks can't get along and play well with others... and it usually shows in what they do and say with consistency, it just spills out of them in toxic waves, projecting their dysfunction upon anyone and everything within their reach.   I Wish we could all, as Adults, keep a Childlike Joy about us and not lose it.   Seeing Childlike Radiance IS a Joy to Behold, isn't it?  Beats the Hell out of a Sour, Bitter or Hateful Adult's Countenance, that's for damned sure!   Our Family does Intentional Silly things to make each other Laugh out Loud.  We enjoy Whimsy and finding the Humor in things, even when it's not Funny Ha-Ha.

I don't know Why it is so difficult for some people to be Kind, Content, Harmonious or Nice?   I'm sure there are numerous reasons and explanations for it.  As diverse as those who exhibit Negative Traits, Fears, challenging Circumstances, be it Psychological, Social or Environmental, or have low self-esteem they're not Dealing with appropriately?   Engaging Positively with others comes easily and Naturally to me, so I guess I cannot relate to someone who finds it to be hard, challenging or impossible.  I don't have an adequate Point of Reference to draw upon and to understand them and their Negative Behaviors that come more Naturally to them than Positive ones.  It seems it would make their lives harder all around?   Some people are Inherently Selfish and lack Empathy and some perceive and Mistake Kindness for a Weakness.  That can be at their own peril.  *Winks*

Kind people often absorb the struggles of others, so they can carry more than their own Pain and Suffering.   Compassion can be a Strength, but you do have to Guard yourself while being Compassionate towards anyone, set some Boundaries for yourself and for them.   I know that I have an initial Instinct and Natural Preference to be Kind, Helpful, Respectful and Nice.   But I also know I can be very NOT Nice, depending on the Individual I'm Dealing with and how they receive what is extended?   Their reaction will elicit my reaction accordingly.   I'm always Nice until someone gives me a Reason NOT to be.  Then they will be Dealing with Dark Dawn immediately, tho' I usually give Fair Warning that if Dawn Of The Light isn't who they want to Deal with, Fine, I can Switch, on the Turn of a fucking Dime.  

No Problem for me, but it will be their Problem now.  Dark Dawn is vicious and has no Mercy.  I can't say I like that about my Darker Side, but I acknowledge I have it, and it has Served me well with Adversaries... or Potential ones.   I will always make it clear to anyone that I really don't Care if they ever Respect me, but they will Learn to Fear me if they are prone to Disrespect and underestimating me as an Adversary.  I make a better Friend than an Enemy.  I am a tenacious and relentless Adversary, I will become Obsessed and Fixated on taking down whoever comes against me, it can become my Mission Statement to.  *Winks*   As a Friend I will always have your Back tho', and unless you betray my Trust, I Got you.  Broken Trust is rarely Earned back tho' and I prefer even Hard Truths to any Liar.  You can't Trust a Liar, ever.  If someone shows themselves to be a Liar, I'll never be close to them, they can't be Trusted with anything.  If you Trust a Liar or a Thief, you're a Fool IMO.

*******

Well, it hasn't been the most Cheery Post, but, here we are... LOL... Dawn... The Bohemian

Dazed And Confused

 I'll get to the Dazed and Confused Hook Line later in the Post and explain.  I'm once again getting ahead in Pre-Scheduled Posts, it's been a while since I could finish some to Publish in The Future.   Well, a Day ahead anyway, but, still, considered The Future, Right?  *Winks*  When I was out and about on Sunday I treated myself to a Luncheon at "The Cheesecake Factory".  My Fav dish is no longer on the Menu, it was a Thai Dish with Mango, that I recall was called Thai Mango Coconut Lime Chicken, but, they had replaced it with a Bang-Bang Chicken & Shrimp Dish, which is Curry, Coconut, Chile and Peanut, with Veggies, quite nice too.

The presentation was pretty, I ate everything around the Rice mound, but left most of the Rice, since it was rather dry and overcooked IMO and wasn't a nice Jasmine Sticky Rice.   I didn't need the Carbs anyway, and the Waitress gave me even more of their Divine Bread to take Home for the Family.  I only ate some of the Brown Bread they're famous for.  You can Buy it now in the Stores too, but I wasn't passing up a Freebie offered of Take-Home Freshly Baked Loaves.  *LOL*  They had a long Waiting List to get seated, but since I was Dining Alone, I got seated immediately and whisked right past all those stacked up and patiently waiting, like a Celebrity Client.  The Benefit and Perks of Solo Dining.  *Winks*

Awww, the Poor Old Lady is Dining Alone, yet she's so Cheerful to be doing it, they take pity upon you and pamper you like a VIP or as if you're their very own Gramma.  Having no Idea that anyone my Age living in a 3 Generation Household 24-7 and 365, while being a Full Time Caregiver, absolutely Loves her Alone Time and Cherishes it!  Plus, I can be very Good to me on an Alone Date.  *Bwahahaha and Winks*  A Young Couple on a Date sat next to me, I think it must have been a first Date, judging by the conversation, which, you couldn't help but overhear since you were mere inches away.  There are no Private Conversations when you're sitting that close to Strangers and Dining quietly alone.  *LOL*

At a much larger Table not very far away, was a large group of Young raucous Men nearby, boy were they loud!  Our Tables were nearest the Bar and I think perhaps they'd enjoyed quite a Liquid Luncheon and behaving like Drunken Sailors on Leave?   Either that or it was a Stag Party Group?   Let us just say they were very animated and oblivious that they were inappropriately too rowdy.  *LOL*   My Sweet lil Cute Waitress kept apologizing to me for delays coz she had her Hands full with that Table!  I at least Hope they were so drunk they Tipped her well for suffering them?  *Smiles*  I Tipped her well since, she gave me the real Hood Hookup on the Bread.  *Winks*

Today Amber came over and was set to have a Meeting with TJ about her Oldest Daughter getting pregnant by him.  Our Daughter went over with her to offer moral support, since this is a tense situation.  Nobody in Amber's Family is happy about it, and her Dad doesn't know his Granddaughter whose in her 20's and is Special Needs, got knocked up by a Guy in his 60's!   She's a tiny little Sprite of a Girl who weighs probably 90 lbs. soaking wet, so won't be able to hide being preggy very long and she's living with the Grandparents.   I think Amber wanted to know what he intends to do to support her Daughter and this Child?  The Grandmother is battling Stage 4 Cancer and the Grandpa is in his 70's, they already have a Three Generation Household too, so, don't need a Fourth Generation there!   Pretty sure Julissa assumed the Old Guy is well off becoz the Elderly Parents he lives with are.  And there's really only ever One reason a Young Woman is with an Old Man.

Anyway, it's a mess and I don't envy her Family the situation at all! Julissa is only a few Years Older than Princess T and has Special Needs, but she too is a pretty Girl and not Stupid, but she is Academically as well as Emotionally Challenged and Developmentally delayed.  I know how I'd be feeling if my Grandchild was Pregnant by a Man Old enuf to be her Grandfather!  Not Happy would be an understatement.   Especially when a Guy that Age knows he's been diagnosed with an aggressive form of Cancer, so pretty much knows he wouldn't be around to help get a Child Born next Year, Raised at all, even in spite of the Age Fathering said Child!!!   I know TJ's Family can't be Happy about this either, the Elderly Parents are devoutly Religious and disapproved of him even being around a Girl that Young, let alone getting into an intimate relationship!  So it was an issue of contention between him and his Parents already, plus him and his Older Brother Rob, who didn't want Young Girls hanging around their Home either.

Anyway, I asked The Daughter how the Meeting went, and she said about as well as could be expected given the circumstances.  Nothing Amber can really do about it except try to be supportive of whatever her Daughter decides to do now?   I personally doubt her Daughter is up to being able to Parent a Child at all actually.   Old Fathers, over 40 also have a higher risk of passing along Birth defects.   Plus, he's taking aggressive Treatments for the Cancer, which probably poses risks too when conceiving a Child while taking those Treatments.  It's a lot to consider on so many levels for both Families.   We're not even sure TJ's Family knows yet?   Amber's Dad sure doesn't and nobody wants him to know either becoz he would ask his Granddaughter to leave their Home and right now she doesn't have an alternative and neither does TJ. 

I don't like to see anyone going thru a complex Crisis and I really like our Elderly Neighbors, they've become good Friends.   And Amber's Family, who we've known since our Kids were really little and been very close to for Decades now.   Both Families are already going thru so much, they certainly didn't need this too.  Since I haven't been at Work I have no idea how anyone else is doing really that I used to see all the time?   Ever since The Stroke, I haven't been seen that much and cut way back on what I usually had been doing before it.  So, a lot could have been happening with everyone and I don't know about it.  Like I said in a previous Post, an Industry Friend had Died last Month and I only recently found out about that.  Everyone else already knew and just assumed I did too. 

Above is an Axelrod Basset Hound Bank, I have one that my Parents got as a Premium at the Flying A Gas Stations in the early 1960's, my Brother had one too.   I've kept it all these Years and he's worth a fair amount now.   I don't have a lot of things from my Childhood, but, this is one of them I kept and has Sentimental Value to me.   Funny how when I was a Kid something like this was Cherished, I don't know that a Plastic Dog Bank, that you couldn't even play with, would be to a Modern Child these days?  *LOL*   I remember my Brother and I also Collecting Stamps, Kids don't do that anymore either.   I can't even remember the last time I saw a Stamp Collection at an Antique Mall, or of one being Sold.

  I recall my Brother and I belonging to a Mail Order Club that would send you Stamps to Buy, I think it was called Mystic Stamp Co. and they'd send you a Catalog and you had Stamp Albums from them to hold your Collection.   I had Pen Pals, Nationally and Internationally, that I Traded Stamps with too.  And when I first started Collecting Vintage Rosaries, I had a French Canadian E-Bay Seller Friend, Marco, who'd Trade me Antique French Rosaries for Stamps for his Kid.  So, he got most of my Old Stamp Collection, which I'd Outgrown by then and had nobody to pass it along to, so the Trade was a good one for both Marco and I.  He'd just Inherited the Rosary Collection from his deceased Grandmother and had Sold me a couple on E-Bay.  Then we developed the Trade instead when he told me he was using the Rosary Proceeds to Buy his Kid Stamps for a Collection.

His Kid therefore got a Seasoned Stamp Collection in it's entirety and I got some Quality French Antique Rosaries in the exchange.  I still have all the Rosaries, they were spectacular ones.   Way back then not many E-Bay Buyers were Buying Antique Rosaries or Stamp Collections, so it was more mutually beneficial to us both back then.   I never did get rid of my small Coin Collection and still have that, it's another thing we Collected as Kids, Coins and Paper Money from across the Globe.  So, every time we went to another Country, or our Dad got deployed to one, we'd get Money from wherever it was.  We were in Great Britain when they changed over their Currency in 1971.  So, I had both their Old Currency and the New Currency.

I have Jewelry made from Old Coins too.  Something about Coins always appealed to me and I even have some Old Roman Coins and an Old Anglesey Mines Druid Coin that my Gran-Gran gave to me when I was a Kid.   At our Antique Mall a Locked Case Vendor Sells Old Shipwreck Coins made into Jewelry and some loose ones.

AND NOW:  To Explain the Dazed and Confused Hook Line Title to this Post.   I had not had any more feedback from either The Young Prince or The Niece about when this Spring, which officially starts next Month, they'll be Moving him back to Arizona?  Crickets.  So, I decided to see if it was still On and was Dazed and Confused by his Answer... and hers actually... let's go Deeper...

I knew this was a Big Life Changing Decision being made and he didn't want to make it hastily.   I think the Bad Weather and Blizzards there in New Mexico actually gave some more time to consider how best to move forward for them all?   I don't think he's so much waffling on leaving NM and returning to Arizona, or of getting the Divorce, that Horse left the Barn even tho' it's not Dead yet apparently, he's just not running after it and I don't blame him.   When the Horse is Dead you get off... but if it's just running Wild you have to decide whether to just set it Free and find what Works better for you too.  I think that's where they're at in this relationship, so no confusion there.  But what Dazed me is that he was so Cryptic about where he'll Live when moving back to Arizona and that there's more to the Back Story than I know!!!???!

So, it's like one of those Mystery Novels or Suspenseful TV Series with twists and turns in the Plot that you're not Privy to.   Now, since we offered up him moving back here and paying for at least part of The Move so he can manage it, that had been what we all expected to happen and he agreed to initially.   So, clearly, he's not waffling on moving back to Arizona, but might have some alterative Living Arrangement Offered?   I don't know if his Dad has offered, or some of his Lifelong Friends here?   I do know he can't Work and has no Income, so whoever it is will be in Caregiver Mode and that's the part that most concerns me.  People have good Intentions, but the Road to Hell is paved with them, as is said.  It's a huge Responsibility to take on someone with a Serious Mental Illness that impairs Quality of Life and their ability to Support themselves.

Granted, if it Works Out for him and whoever he might be considering Living with here, I'll be relieved and Happy.   I think, my Stroke, made him consider that I'm up under too much Stress to take on more and he's Right about that part.  I had the stupid Stroke just Days after talking to him, and none of us expected that, including me, but internally it could have been inevitable and that Timing was just When, you know?  I didn't want him blaming himself for it or thinking him moving back Home was THE reason my Health tanked, but he might be, I dunno?  He's being Cryptic for a reason and when he does that I know he just doesn't wanna Worry me about what he's about to do.   And mebbe he thinks I won't Approve or it would be better for him not to move back to our Home, I dunno?

And he eluded that he and The Niece still Plan to come for a Visit, and I'm assuming bringing his things with them, I dunno for sure tho'?  I know I can't fund Vacay Trips for "Visits", so I want to make that crystal clear, it's sacrificial for me to Help with a necessary Move that is a Solid Plan, not a loosely ever changing one.   Princess T said he keeps in Touch with her and seems to be doing better and moving forward, which eases some concerns.  His Mental Health is always fragile and subject to change without notice.  But I know Young People in their 20's tend to be impulsive about decision making and flying by the Seat of their Pants thru Life.  Whereas Age grants you the Wisdom to know it often causes complications to be reckless about bigger decisions made.  Especially if you rely on other people to bail you out of bad ones.

I do Need to be kept in The Loop if I'm paying for anything, since, finances are tight enuf without anyone expecting to be bailed out even more if they make other bad decisions as a Grown person.   I end up sounding like my own Parents with the "Money doesn't grow on Trees" Line.  *Winks and Smiles*   The Grandsons have pretty much lived Crisis to Crisis for a few Years now and I don't see either of them Learning not to repeat mistakes made in the Past that will carry forward to Haunt them in their Futures.   The problem with someone who has the complications of a Mental Health condition is their logic is impaired and often skewed by the Illness.  They can be very Smart and yet very Illogical at the same time and make decisions harmful to themselves and others. 

  This is why Autistic Elon shouldn't be set loose in all these Sensitive Institutions, especially of National Security.  Genius Boy can and will fuck up, ours does all the time in spite of the 148 IQ.  It's a highly Gifted and considered Genius range, but not infallible and is impaired by his Illness.   Autism is an impairment, many Autistics are Smart but their Adaptive Skills lag behind IQ.  And, if you Google Elon Musk's IQ it's not even known to actually be in Genius Range and is under intense scrutiny and skepticism.  Him being a Genius may be as Mythical as the Orange One being an astute Businessman.  Einstein IQ was 160, Steven Jobs 160 or above, Bill Gates 150, Stephen Hawking 160, Marilyn vos Savant 228, and a Male South Korean Intelligence Specialist 276.   Even Actor James Woods has an IQ of 180, Elon's not on The List of known Exceptional Geniuses and I suspect if he actually WAS one, he would be, so I have my Doubts.  He's arrogant, but Smart, is questionable to me.

 He may have very intelligent folks working FOR him and surrounds himself with Smart People, takes Credit for their actual achievements, we just don't know for sure becoz he's not very transparent.  Lots of Questions, no Answers that can be confirmed.  His DOGE Team seems to be a bunch of Weirdly Young Hackers, whose the actual Adult in the Room I do Wonder.  I see nobody Experienced or Well Known in that Inner Circle, so how much Expertise or Wisdom is actually verified in what they're doing?  My Genius Grandson could hack into any Computer by the time he was Nine.  He got permanently Expelled from Public and Alternative Schools for hacking into their Systems by the time he was 14, and "Enhancing" them without permission, becoz tho' he was very Good at it, he was still a Kid.   And Kids don't consider consequences and just becoz they CAN do something doesn't mean they SHOULD.   Underage Kids can conceive a Child too, they're Physically capable to, but, it's usually not a Good idea to.

You know what you know, and you don't know what you don't know.  But the danger lies in that some people have no idea what they just don't know and think they know.   I see far too much of that going on with incompetent and not adequately skilled people being put in charge of important things they know nothing about but assume they do.  A lot can get cocked up that way.   Running damage control behind recklessness, incompetence and what they've fucked up is very costly.  If the American Taxpayer is truly looking for Savings, they aren't about to find it via a Wrecking Ball that just obliterates things and only has a Concept of a Plan to replace anything, that over a Decade later never got beyond Conceptualization!   An abstract idea or general notion isn't a Plan at all.

Princess T is Bored this Monday and it's her other Day Off so she wants me to get ready and DO something.  I'm sitting here in my Jammies at Noon Blogging and could do that all Day.  *LOL*   I know, I'm becoming a Slug and I realize my Motivation is in Stall Mode, I literally don't Want to DO anything lately.  It's very uncharacteristic of me and I should Care that I'm Feeling this way, but, I can't muster Caring either.  Getting out of Bed is a chore lately and tho' I don't FEEL Depressed, becoz I'm quite Content and not actually Down, I'm aware that I'm Feeling some kind of way to be ambivalent about everything.   The Daughter is working tirelessly around the House, Art Studio and RV Garage Mahal and I'm not as enthusiastic about it, or about helping her, as I usually would be.  She's excited about it and that makes me Happy, and it is something Needing to get Done, so I'll be Glad when it is Done, long overdue.  Mebbe I'm just Burnt Out?

Burn Out happens whenever you've been doing anything too long and pushing yourself to continue unabated.   No matter what it is eventually you hit the Wall.   I'm doing some Work here, but sparingly, so that I don't feel overwhelmed or exhausted from the doing of it.  My Pace is slower than it used to be and it has to be slower.   I can't keep Pace like I could when I was much Younger and I'm not trying to either.  I told the Manager at the Antique Mall Today when he asked if I'm getting there on being able to come back?   To have me be On Call for an occasional Shift after March 7th and we'll see if I can last a full Four Hour Shift or not?  If not, then we'll wait longer, he's okay with that.  They want me back, but only if I feel up to it.  I don't know yet whether I will be, but I miss it.  I may not accept a regular Shift for a while tho', just be On Call and decide day to day if I can accept an Opening that Day, or not?

Princess T and I went in on Monday Afternoon to restock the Showroom and Locked Case with a few items I'd Priced to bring in.  It was some Smalls and some Shirts, things that are still Selling well enough to keep replacing the Inventory regularly.   Everyone was glad to see us and is happy to see I'm clearly doing better.   I may not be at Pre-Stroke levels of Stamina, but, I'm improving.   Even going out with Princess T to run some of her Errands after we Re-Stocked Inventory, I had to measure my Pace and how much we tried to do, she understood why.  She took me out to eat at "Wildflower Bread Company" for Brunch, her Treat.

 

We both had the 12 Vegetable Soup and mine was a smaller portion of it which comes with a Side, I chose the Strawberry Spinach Salad and Bread.  It wasn't busy there at all, it usually is, but most Restaurants lately, even the most popular ones that usually have waits to even get a Table, aren't that busy anymore, not a Good Sign.   I want all our Favorite places to survive and stay Open.   The Son had told me Yesterday that their Favorite Haunt, a Bar and Pool Hall nearby, which has been around in the same Location since the 1970's, is Closing this Week.  The Owner said he doesn't think it's sustainable with this tanking Economy so he's choosing to just Close his Doors.  Of coarse everyone Working for him will now be out of a Job.

Princess T was looking for a Desk, none were to be found and we went to several Furniture Stores, Home Improvement Stores, and a couple Chazzas.   So, while we were in a Home Improvement Store we did Lust after New Fridges.  They're expensive and would need Financing to be able to afford, but they sure have improved them and above was our Favorite.  They had a similar one a Grand less that only didn't have the Computer in the Door, which I wouldn't need anyway, and rather than a Black Opaque Door Surface, had a Whiter Clear Opaque Door instead and everything else was the same as this one.   I liked everything about this and they did have them reduced, but now I couldn't have another Payment for something.   The 2nd Pix shows the Door inside of the Door section, which can be Opened separately.   Princess T liked the Computer in the Door but I know we would rarely use it and for a Grand, wouldn't pay that much for that Feature.

 

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I Hope everyone can keep their Chin up... Dawn... The Bohemian