Banishing The Fuckery From Our Collective Consciousness

I got caught up enuf to actually Pre-Schedule a Post again, that hasn't happened in a very long while!   My Mental Fatigue is not as bad as my Physical Fatigue Post Stroke, so I'm able to enjoy Blogging when I don't feel I have Physical Stamina to do much right now.  Mentally I have some challenges still after having had the Stroke, I notice it probably more than most people would, but Princess T has commented a few times on what she's observing that I don't even notice myself.   She asked me if perhaps I'm having some Hallucinations and I could be.  She thinks I am.  A few times it's as if my Brain comprehends what I'm seeing as different than what it is and then it seems to morph into what it actually is!  My Mind playing Tricks on me was an unexpected side effect but if the Brain is damaged, it makes sense it's trying to be sorting shit out now.

An example, at the Grocery Store I was parking in my Space and the Truck in the next Space had it's Driver's Door still Open wide with what I SAW as a small Brown Spaniel Dog sitting on the Seat.  Well, the Woman Driver was fiddling around on the Passenger Side so I very slowly moved into my Parking Space, afraid the little Dog might jump out and I'd hit it.  Well, as I Parked, while still looking at said Dog, it wasn't a Dog at all, it was Brown Plastic Grocery Bags sitting on the Seat and moving with the Wind!!!  WTF?!  It's like what I thought was a fucking Dog morphed into Plastic Bags and it was freaky, I ain't gonna Lie.  It was disturbing, especially since my Grandchild had asked me just that Morning, only Hours beforehand, if I wasn't Hallucinating sometimes?  She felt sure I was but had hesitated to say anything.

I was so sure I'd seen a little Brown Spaniel up there that I even got out after Parking and looked to see if it hadn't jumped out and had been up there with what now was obviously Brown Plastic Bags with Groceries in them, that were moving with the high Gale Force Frigid Arctic like Winds that had picked up?  Nope, no Dog.  And, tho' it's not happening often, Dr. Google did say it's common after a Stroke, Hallucinations and Delusions, called Post-Stroke Psychosis, and may happen in 1 of 20 People.  Splendid!   The Man says he has them all the time post TBI, so, now I know what he's been Dealing with.  He sees a little Girl in a Pink Dress quite often and has no Idea Why and it bothers him coz he is alarmed by it when he sees her and knows, she's NOT Real.  But she sure as shit LOOKS Real enough every time he sees her! 

 He's even gone outside our French Doors to make sure a Kid wasn't actually there peeking in from our Back Patio, and too near the Pool to have a small Child safely out there!   We Joke she's the Ghost Child, but, it is distressing to him to see this Kid.   And I know for him there is a Back Story that is kinda Paranormal, he was a Twin, but his Twin Sister was Stillborn.    But I do feel he might have had a Connection to his Twin, they Shared a Womb for many Months after all.  I haven't asked or said anything, but perhaps the little Girl in the Pink Dress represents his Twin Sister's Spirit, I just don't know, but I don't think of it as a Negative or Bad Thing Spiritually or Paranormally.  And perhaps it is just a Hallucination or Delusion, we'll not really ever know for sure.  But, she's recurrent since his Near Death Experience, and at his near End of Life Season, so I doubt it. 

I fell down another Rabbit Hole doing some random Online Geneology Searches of Family History and possible Ancestry on my Dad's side, which has a lot of murky unknowns, total blanks and conflicting Word of Mouth accounts by various Relatives.  The Paternal Relatives are great Story Tellers so you can never tell fact from embellishments or they just made up what was a complete unknown and not Recorded, just told and handed down as factual.  It doesn't really matter, the Stories were rarely questioned and I really don't Care if they're refuted between various Family.  That happens on Mom's side too, conflicting Stories about Ancestry.  There's Free sites now, mostly Census Data.  I realized my Paternal Grandfather was an Enigma and a complete Mystery.  He Died quite Young in his 40's and my Dad never really knew him even before then.  

As Dad, his Mom and Younger Siblings ended up in Oklahoma on the Cherokee Rez and the Older Siblings and his Dad remained in the Vermont/New Hampshire area.  Vermont has State Recognized Tribes but New Hampshire does not.   And due to Colonization, which caused significant displacement of Indigenous Tribes, the lack of documentation makes it difficult to prove their continuous existence as Tribal entities.  I figure this is probably why my Ancestry Results came back 21% "Other Of Unknown Origins"?  *LOL, so, apparently those Companies fail to Recognize Non-Federally Recognized Tribes either as being Indians?*  Officially, Dad's Family were never "Federally" recognized as Indians.  So they had all of the Discrimination with none of the Federal Benefits of being Indians, as Dad always Joked.  And, he was Proud enough and comfortable enough in his own Skin and Cultural Identity not to be bothered by ignorance and Racism.  Very seldom did he even mention it, except to say it's insecure Humans who exhibit either, or both.

 The Indian Appropriations Act of 1871 effectively ended Federal recognition of 'new' Tribes, leaving most East Coast Tribes without official status or compensations/reparations and no Reservations.  Which, Reservations were pretty wretched and still mostly are, but at least were something that was given back to the Indigenous who had everything else stolen from them.  Very handy and Economical for the U.S. Government to deny the ability to have Land set aside for any of those East Coast Tribes to have any Sovereignty, Cultural placement or sense of Self being acknowledged at all.   So, Officially, we're NOT Native Americans.  *Bwahahaha*   Dad always found it Amusing that tho' he was a Native American, and treated as one his whole Life, as was all his Family, according to the U.S. Government they weren't "Officially" Indians.  The only Relatives we have that get the Tribal Benefits and are on the Rolls, are due to my Dad's People mostly marrying into the Federally Recognized Tribal Communities.  Dad Married a Non-Indian so never received anything Federally ever for being Indigenous.

 

Anyway, I'd always been told my Dad's Father was a Foundling, but research of him showed he had Five other Siblings, Four Brothers and a Sister... he was the 5th Born of the Six.  So, it's still quite possible he wasn't Kept, and another Family Raised him?  We know for sure my Welsh Gran-Gran, who was one of the Youngest of Eleven and the Younger Five were not kept by my Widowed Didi Kai Great-Grandmother and were Raised by a Chinese Family who were Childless.  It was Common I guess in their Era, especially to ensure Children didn't Die if you couldn't provide for them.  The Family Stories said the Paternal Grandfather had been Raised by a Childless Family who owned a Horse Ranch and the Foundling part could still be true if there was an abandonment of a very Young Child or Baby, we'll just never really know.  A Male Child would have been valuable on a Horse Ranch for a Childless Couple.  The Grandfather ended up owning many Horses, I had been told.

  That much could be True.  The only Two known Photos of him, in one he's with a Horse as an Older Man, in the other he's with a large Alsatian Dog as a Young Adult Man in a big Pasture.  He was a very muscular intimidating looking Man, with strong Native American Features, but, thick wavy Hair.  Which, I didn't think was typical for an Indigenous person, so I always assumed him to be Mixed Race, 'til I Googled that too and S-Wave, which is the Texture he clearly had, is actually quite common for many Native Americans.  An interesting Fact I did not know, it's actually a Myth that all American Indians have universally straight Hair.  I'm learning facts all the time via Google research, when your inquiring Mind Needs to Know.  *LOL*  I did know some Tribes like the Cree, commonly wore Dreadlocks.   And none of the Men in my Dad's Family could grow Facial Hair.  The Son struggled for Years to.  *LOL*

Another Ancestral Mystery to me was one of my Dad's Older Sisters, my Aunt Irene, I didn't know much about her, never met her.  I knew her to be Married to a Cajun/Creole in the 1950's, whose name was Amedee Nedeau.  I always thought he had a Cool Name tho', which is why I remembered it.  *LOL*  He was much older than my Aunt and had been Married before.   He died in 1966 and there was only the one Black and White picture of he and my Aunt that I ever had.  He was a good looking Man who looked like he might have been Mulatto, I don't know his Ancestral History at all, we barely know our own.  *LOL*  My Aunt was actually Darker complexion than he was tho', as most of my Dad's Siblings were very Dark complexion Indians.  Research showed all of those Cousins are now deceased, and quite some time ago.  I knew the one Cousin, Tommy, had Died in Vietnam in 1973 when he was about 20.   A lot of my Paternal side were in the Military, some made it a Career, some didn't and went back to the Rez.

 One of the Female Cousins of that Aunt had moved to Maui, but most of the Nedeau Family stayed on the East Coast in a generalized area it seems, I never knew any of them.  Never been to Vermont or New Hampshire.  Just my Cousins on the Rez in Oklahoma, where I had more contact and still do.  One unexpected fact turned up that Three of my Dad's Brothers had actually either Died or gone missing in Childhood, I knew of only Two.  But there was a Brother who was Born Two Years after my Dad that he never told me about.  Records showed he Died within his First Year, so that might explain why Dad never mentioned him.  You forget how high Infant Mortality was in their Generation and in some populations and demographics.  It's fascinating to me to learn more about Family Unknowns and fill in some Blanks.  Separating Myth from Evidence.  To pass along hopefully more accurate info.

Who knows how accurate anything is anymore tho', No?  The Misinformation Age is upon us and I don't think sorting all that out is gonna shake out real well now.  Proof, Evidence and Facts seem to matter less and less to some people as they just embrace Lies, Misinformation, Low Information, Fantasies and Conspiracy Theories galore.  I don't know that a large swath of America can even Handle the Truth anymore?  They prefer their Delusions, Illusions and whatever Made Up shit they've digested and now Believe as an "Alternate Reality" from Reality.  If it fits their narrative, they're okay with denying anything to the contrary to disprove it.  Even when confronted with actual Evidence and Proof that ordinarily would be convincing.  You really cannot be convincing enough to someone whose bought into a Lie or Alternative to Reality and now lives there in their Mind full time.

Last Night I actually began separating and Milk Crating Up some stuff laying about that I want to either Keep or Sell, but, get out of the Main House Living Spaces.  I do Need to get my Ass in Gear to Price some Inventory and bring it in to the Showroom and Locked Case.  If I do it in small increments, I should be able to whittle away at it, like eating an Elephant one bite at a time.  A hearty Meal to be sure, and rather overwhelming at times, but, who needs an Elephant in the Room full time to navigate around, Right?  *Winks*  By Monday I should know whatssup with my Heart and Monitor Results.  I already know my Neurologist would like to suggest to my Cardiologist that I should have a Monitor implanted.  It's not a Pacemaker or Defibrillator... it will just Record my irregular Rhythms.  Some abnormal Rhythms are more dangerous than others, they're trying to prevent another Stroke.

I'm trying to improve my Quality of Life with my Recovery, since, it's been greatly diminished, even tho' on the surface, I appear to be doing Well, all is NOT Well.   And it might just require Time, perhaps a lot of it, to Recover and reclaim that Quality of Life I had previously, I just don't know right now.  They don't seem to know either since one moment I was Fine... and then clearly I was not and almost Died.   So... it wasn't a progression that seemed evident and had a lot of advance Warning.  It wasn't like anyone was saying you're getting Sick or are Unwell, I felt Fine until I just didn't.   So, how to avoid that again is trickier, we're kinda Winging it right now really until we know more specificity.  Regaining Strength and Stamina, not being Short of Breath and Fatigued all the time, needing to Sleep a LOT, is the challenge right now.  Blogging doesn't wear me out but everything else seems to, which sucks.

My Right Eye either seems to be improving or I'm getting used to it.  I almost forgot about my Eye Appointment this Morning tho' so I was late!  Luckily it's a couple blocks from my Home and they said they'd still hold the Appointment even tho' I'd Spaced Out about what time to be there.  Actually, I'd Spaced Out about the whole Appointment but they said since it was after a Stroke, they wanted to still see me and not to worry about the Memory glitch.  They were so Kind and I really liked the Optometrist.  They did the most comprehensive Eye Exam I've ever had and said my Insurances will cover all of it, since, it's due to After Care for the Stroke.  Over Two Hours of Tests but great News, no damage from the Stroke to my Eyes or from Diabetes either.  *Whew*  He said my Eyes are in excellent Shape and my Brain just has to catch up to seeing how it used to thru them.  *Sigh of Relief*  He said for my Age my Eyes are in great condition actually.

So, that was great News and encouraging.  I didn't even have the Light Sensitivity after dilation.  They put like Five different Drops in my Eyes for the various Tests they needed to do, but, no ill effects from any of them.  Some Patients there were having far more serious Eye Problems, and most of them were Young, so I felt fortunate indeed.  Afterwards I went to a Dollar Tree Store that is nearby and had taken over the now defunct 99 Cent Only Stores that all Closed and were my Fav Dollar Store.  The Store is very big and this Dollar Tree doesn't keep it as tidy or organized, nor as stocked, as the 99 Cent Only Store did.  It was very messy, low on Stock, the one closer to us is always kept neat, well stocked and organized, so it must be the Management of that particular Store being slack.  I got some $1.25 Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls and Michelina Brand mini TV Dinners.

The Man can fix those for himself in the Microwave so doesn't need Supervision for those types of Meals to supplement when we Cook for him.   The Breakfast Bowls are quite good actually, hearty and take only 3 Minutes, very filling and tasty.   We had one once I got Home coz I hadn't eaten Breakfast with rushing to get there after I remembered I even had an Appointment this Morning!  I remembered only 2 Minutes before I was already supposed to be there!!!   And as a 1st time Patient, they prefer you to get there early to fill out your paperwork... so, I really blew it but they were so nice about it and fit me in anyway.  I didn't wanna hafta re-schedule since I got a lot of stacked up Appointments for all of this.  I don't have to see the Optometrist now for another Year.  Yay!

Another Nugget I gleaned from my Friends who are still watching The News {for me apparently, LMAO}, is that Psycho Prez apparently now wants an apology from a Female Bishop for telling him he should show Mercy to People!   OMG... as if you should have to apologize for such a thing as being asked to show Mercy!  Unbelievable and yet, not Surprising, given who he clearly is as a wretched Human.  Which speaks volumes more about him from a point of how Ungodly a Man he is, which most of us recognize that Fact.   Yet the Fundamentalist Religions seem to be able to Square Hatred and being Unmerciful, and treat him as a demigod with utmost Devotion to him as if he's their Orange Jesus, go figure!   She has held her Ground and her obligation to a Higher Power by saying she will not apologize for saying Mercy should be given to People.  Bravo!  So, of coarse she's on the Hit List of his Revenge and Retribution Tour now coz she wouldn't bow down to him instead of God.  He really does have a god complex, doesn't he?

But, I am still Glad I'm not having to see or hear any of his fuckery firsthand on The News.  I don't mind so much the tidbits everyone feels the Need to Share and talk about, since, it's not as if it's not important, it is in so many ways.  Limiting my exposure is just necessary for me right now and frankly I think the Media, overall, fixates too much on every insane thing he's doing or saying and it encourages him to do it more for the Attention he craves all the time.  I still don't think any of us should Obey in Advance, far too many seem to be.   You have to be able to Live with whatever you go along with, reflect upon that Fact.  Doing the Right thing is rarely the Easy thing, but, it's always the Right thing and easier to Live with.   I do feel the levels of incompetence and insatiable greed will be their ultimate downfall, it's just not sustainable to be this incompetent and greedy.  I look forward to their Marie Antoinette Moment, it will come... I Hope when it does they Live Stream it. *LOL*

  Elon's Nazi Salute making the rounds now and going Viral makes no pretenses about who and what he is all about.  He's quite giddy boldly doing it.  And tho' the Far Right's Spin to try to run damage control behind the Billionaire Man Child, is trying to tell us it's not what it looks like, yeah, yeah it is, it's exactly what it looks like.  We all know what it is, Globally they know what it is, and what we see when someone makes that infamous Nazi Gesture, we have no Doubts of what he's implying and what it represents.   He has a lot of minor devils disciples surrounding him, the only benefit being most are as incompetent and unfit for the Positions they will hold as he is this time around.  I plan a lot of Self-Care since the ascension of the devil wearing Orange, the next Four Years most of us should just concentrate on that, Self-Care, we'll all Need it, this is just the beginning of the coming fuckery. 

A lot of my favorite Bloggers are doing the same and also no longer watching the News or supporting Social Media Platforms owned by the Tech Bro's who are Kissing the Ring and Ass of the Orange Asshole.  If everyone NOT supporting this Administration did that, it would send a strong Message to the Wallets of the Bro's and hit them where it most hurts.  Sure, they got an obscene abundance of Riches, but nothing bothers a Rich Man more than seeing Losses and being a Loser, no matter how he might pretend it doesn't.   When you're seriously lacking in Character, a Moral Compass and other acceptable Human attributes, then the Money is all they really have going for them and they know it and thus define themselves by it and the Status they crave by having it, they are a Craven bunch.

The Daughter has been concentrating, at my insistence, on interior Main House Housekeeping in the Common Areas.  She's got a Home Nurse coming, since her Medicaid AHCCCS Health Plan now covers those, much like our Medicare Advantage Plan does.  She is more likely to have checkups if she doesn't have to go in somewhere, which tends to Trigger her Schizophrenia when a place/space is unfamiliar and people filled.  Her one Specialist Follow-Up Appointment had to be cancelled so many times now that we just quit re-scheduling it.  Clearly, she was reluctant to go so there was no longer any point and it was causing her a lot of stress and Anxiety to have it on the Calendar and then just not go and have to cancel over and over again.  Often she doesn't wanna know if something is Wrong with her and would magnify whatever it is to a point of hysteria, the Wheels would be Off Mentally, and that's not at all Helpful.

Anyway, The Daughter got the Livingroom in pristine condition, all of Christmas now put away from that Room too.   The Den/Sitting Room next to it will be done next, then the Dining Room next to that.  The Kitchen has already been Done.   We keep the Bathrooms pristine all the time, so, only everyone's Bedrooms are their own Responsibility to keep in Order.  The Daughter helped us with ours.  It could use more Work but I'll undertake that, she didn't want to overstep boundaries of our Private Sanctuary.  *LOL*   The Man has his little Corner around his Media Chair and it's like he's building a Fort around himself with his Book Stacks and Snacks, stacked Shirts since his flimsy Closet Rods eventually broke like mine had.  When they Remodeled and Modernized these Master Bedroom His & Her Closets, the Modern lack of Quality meant it was POS construction.  They should have left it 1980 Original IMO.  At least then it was built of real Wood & Metal, not Particle Board, Laminated Composites and Plastic.

Anyway, if and when I can afford a Closet Remodel in our Master, I'm going to do my Due Diligence to find a Company that uses Quality Materials that will hold up and last.   I've viewed a few Custom Closet Stores and seen some I do like that would Work for us, so, it's a matter of getting the Budget and Estimates done when ever it's possible to Green Light the Project and Solve the Problem.   When we get some other Home Repair Projects Paid Off is when I suspect we can think about any Home Improvements that aren't just replacing things breaking down that are larger Appliances or Repairs like Air Conditioners, Water Heaters, Water Softeners, Kitchen Appliances, Ductwork, Insulation, Electrical, Plumbing.   Yeah, all that Home Maintenance stuff that costs a Fortune and can't really be 'seen' or necessarily 'enjoyed' like a New Closet or other Home Improvement or Remodel would.  *Smiles*  We still have a Kitchen Drawer that has not been able to be fixed when a part broke we cannot now find a replacement part for!

The Son Works for a Custom Cabinetry Business but every one uses a different Style part for THEIR Cabinets, so our Custom Cabinets this Home was Remodeled with, don't interface with the Parts his Company has... dammit!  Not even close!   And of coarse the parts are made of Plastic these days no matter how expensive the Custom Work was, so they easily break down and fail.  Had that part been Metal, it would have lasted a Lifetime and that would just not do of coarse.  No Money in things lasting Forever, or inexpensively being able to be Repaired, so Functional Obsolescence is how everything is made these days.  When I do this I Need it to last until at least I'm gone and it's on someone else's Dime to do it all again.  *Smiles*

I was looking Online at the 36% increase in Egg Prices they claim is happening as an Average but it's not very accurate considering what I'm seeing cracking under the pressure in Arizona.  They're saying the Average price is up over $6 State by State and I'm seeing it up to $9-$12 Locally, which is far, far higher than they're letting on and Reporting.  Even at Six that's way up and further than Seven would mean I'll not be buying any at that inflated price point.  They did acknowledge it's gonna get worse before it gets better, so at least they were Honest about that.  But if their Reporting was accurate I think they assume panic would set in.  About other Prices rising exponentially less than a Week in to a new Administration that isn't likely NOT to make things even worse?   Anything Bad the Imbecile and his Flying Monkeys can make Worse.  But, People are going to their Stores and if their Eggs are up like ours are, they know the Reporting is inaccurate OR that their State is price gouging badly and exploiting the Situation.

They say the 45 Day Rule and Free Range Rule in some States drove up Prices, and of coarse Bird Flu now, but I can tell a Consumer Gouge when I see one... and... Inaccurate Reporting.   Most Eggs Locally around here are produced less than an Hour away, so it's not like transport and import is causing anything around Metro Phoenix.  Hickman's is the largest Egg Company in the Southwest.  There's at least 11 other Small Indie Farm Producers that I know which have Free Range and Pasture Raised small Flocks and Sell the Eggs.  Along with Mini Farm Production anywhere we have Residential Agricultural small Farms like ours, where a Family has a few Chickens and Sells their excess/overage of whatever they're Producing, but, aren't a Business.  There's also a few Indie Agricultural Pet and Farm Supply Shops that Sell anything Small Farms need along with Livestock to Buy.  Either Chicks or full grown Chickens available of numerous Breeds to choose from.

I'm not to the place yet to wanna Raise Chickens myself.  But my Grandson has Raised them before on a Communal Hippie Farm in Washington State before.  They grew and Raised everything they Needed for the Commune.  So, if any of the Kids or Grandkids wants to start a small venture on our Acreage to Raise some Chickens, they just have to do the Work and outlay for it.   But, with a Bird Flu raging, I'd caution against it right now until they find a way to fight this Animal Plague.  Reminds me of when we were in Europe and they initially had Mad Cow Disease.  People just quit eating Beef and most Farmers quit Raising them for Meat or Dairy due to the outbreak, which was devastating.  There's fewer than 1,000 Cases of that Annually now in the U.S., allegedly, and there is no Cure and it can transmit to Humans who partake of an infected Cow's Product.  In Grass Fed Cows it's lower infection rate... it's caused by an abnormal Protein.

I remember watching a very Interesting Documentary when they first realized what Mad Cow Disease was and were trying to find out the Cause.  Well, in New Guinea a similar Disease afflicted Tribal Cannibal Populations of People.  So, they figured it could be due to feeding Cows Animal Proteins since Cows aren't meant to be Carnivores or Cannibals.  I don't know if the Research ever went further than the parallels they discovered in that Population of Humans that had a similar Disease that was afflicting the Cows, but, it makes sense.  Especially since it's an abnormal Protein Disease, Cannibalism is unnatural in most Species, tho' not all, some Animals do Cannibalize their own and feed on a Diet that is inclusive of their own Kind.  But for Cows, they should be eating Plants, not Meat.  So forcing them to eat any Meat By-Product could be causing Diseases they wouldn't normally have eating what they should be eating that is Natural to them?

 

I am going to focus on sorting stuff out Today in the House and Crating it up to be put away in either The She Shed, to be eventually put into Inventory, or in The RV Garage Mahal if I am Keeping it but don't want it in the Main House.  There is a Donation Box going too, since some things I'm just Donating to be done with it quicker.  The Daughter said she'd help me with this Project and do the Physical Work if I do the Mental Work of Deciding which is to Keep, Sell or Donate.  She wouldn't know, it's not her stuff.  *LOL*  She can get so much more done than I can and has been invaluable to me with what she's doing on my behalf.  Her Friends come over and do a lot of Work alongside her too, which I really appreciate having Volunteers that don't have to come over and voluntarily do so much Work for us to be of Help.  They say they like coming over to visit and we often include them in Meals, so, they want to do something beneficial to Help us out during a difficult time.

The Daughter is also uncovering a lot of stuff I Forgot I even had in my Collections.  It's been so long since some of it has been unpacked and found again that it's like Christmas.  *LOL*  I do have some Cool stuff that hasn't been seen in a long while.  And, whatever the Kids and Grandkids would like to have, I tell them to ask me about it and I'll just let them have it now.   Most of the time I don't Care if it's theirs now or mine, with just a few exceptions.  Plus, these ones Helping me out, they're all Living here anyway, Right?  So, what does it matter?  *Bwahahahahaha*  The Man is annoying me right now by putting the fucking News on at 7:30 in the Morning... and he knows I don't wanna watch The News anymore!  He NEVER used to watch the News, so to be Fixated on watching it now makes zero sense except to get a reaction out of me.  Especially when you KNOW they're gonna cover Politically controversial shit now going on.  *Le Sigh*  Usually he's watching NCIS or Hawaii Five-O Reruns, go back to that will ya... I don't wanna know what crazy shit the Orange Fuck is doing and saying!!!  *LOL and Eye Roll* 

So, now I had to fucking hear how the Orange Asshole is already Bullying the Trans Community with Executive Orders that there's only Two Sexes America will recognize.   Lord have Mercy, AS IF that actually improves Real Daily Life problems Americans and America is facing.  Or is so crucial in the first Order of Business to spend Money and Time on. *Eye Roll*  It's really just to be Targeting a small vulnerable Marginalized and already Maligned group of Humans and appease Hateful Homophobes, who seem far too Fixated on the Sexuality of other People, which is just Weird IMO.  And, he is demanding opening up what the Government has on the Assassinations of both Kennedy's.  As if that too is vitally Important???  *Eye Roll*  Well, I suppose that's for the benefit of Bobby's Crazy Worm Brain Eaten Kid he's now got in his Cabinet?  *LOL*  Coz, I don't know how many other Americans are currently Fixated on what happened way back in the 1960's or even Care in 2025?  Of coarse, when you Represent Voters who are Obsessed with Conspiracy Theories, perhaps they Need to Know, so... mebbe it will distract them enuf to not Care what he's Not doing that he should be doing and IS far more crucial and Important???!!

And THAT is precisely Why I'm NOT personally interested in watching The News at all, not Local, not National.   And I did tell The Man that if he persists in turning it on, do it in a Room I'm NOT in.  If he wants to begin his Day with Doom and Gloom, go ahead, but I don't choose to begin my Day with any of it for the next Four Years of what is likely to be perpetual Chaos and Political Fascism playing out Daily in Leadership.  It might give his Cult a Hard On in their perverse Mindsets, but, No Thanks.  I don't hang out with his Cult Members so I don't have to hear any of it being spewed like vomit.  I find it as revolting and gross as that actually.   Keep their Hate to themselves and their Politically Extreme Perversions.  The Support and Excuses for and of Sexual Deviants who have been Convicted of Sex Offenses tells me enuf about any of his Supporters that I Need to know about them too.  All by itself and apart from all the other things that should never been Excused or Supported.

                                 

And I do not Need to be titillated by Political Theater and constant Insane Outrageous Ramblings and Controversies as a form of Entertainment or as a Distraction from Reality.  I'm still tethered to Reality and discerning enough to not Believe anything and everything offered up.   I want Solutions to Real Problems and expect Leadership and our Government to be about Solving them. Not filling the Positions with their Bro's, and inept folks not only unable to be up to the Jobs, but, who act like they're in some Cheesy "Reality" Show they're Contestants in, with the Head Washed Up Has Been Cheesy Reality Show Villain and Host of all time.   Whose a Big Fake that was Invented for Ratings and his Big Grift that has always sustained him, but has never been what he claims to be.  But, is a consummate Conman with a knack for Theatrical Claims that a great many clearly and desperately wanna Believe, who knows Why?   When I have talked to any of them, they are pretty Far Out There in other stuff they cling to and also Believe, it's just very Weird. 

I did convince The Man to leave this Room and go watch the Shitshow on TV in a Room I'm NOT in.  By Calmly saying, Listen, if I start the Day with any of this shit in my Head, expect me to be an agitated Ratchet Bitch all Day Long, so, do you REALLY want Dark Dawn Today?  Apparently he did not since Dawn Of The Light, who does not watch The News now, is much easier to spend a Day with, Trust and Believe.  *Winks*  I will have the Joy of Jesus in my Heart becoz I haven't filled my Head with any of the fuckery going on in Amerikkka right now and I simply don't wanna Know anymore.  Amerikkka made it's Choice and will be stuck with it and the consequences thereof.   That's Reality right now and frankly having to Live thru it will be Enough... without torturing and tormenting ourselves with the constant coverage of it and letting it, and by It, I mean him, Live Rent Free in our Heads anymore.  It will make you too Melancholy and potentially despondent otherwise, and who Needs to remain in that Head Space and State Of Mind?  Not me...

*******

We should be banishing the Fuckery from our Collective Consciousness, we'll be better off for having done so my Friends, and concentrating on what Greatness REALLY is that America is capable of if we don't lose our way for too long and go too far astray... Dawn... The Bohemian

A Free Fall Down A Rabbit Hole

 

The Man said our Wild Birdseed was low so I popped into the Grocer to get some more and exited with $106 worth of Groceries, how does that even happen?!  *LOL*  Yes, the Gourmet Brand Birdseed was on Sale at an incredible Savings too, but, what it cost me in shit I hadn't come to Buy was budget busting.  *LMAO and Winks*   Well, it all began with an Arctic Wind that suddenly blew in as soon as I arrived at the Grocery Store only a Block from our House!  It had whipped up and was so bitter Cold and dumped the Temps considerably and immediately, I did not like it and had forgot my Coat.  And so, when I coasted by the Meat Section and saw some lovely packs of Cubed Stew Meat on Sale, well, Stew seemed like Arctic Gale Force Weather Comfort Food to me, No?   And so off I now went down that Rabbit Hole... and it was a Free Fall distraction to sticking with my List that just contained Wild Birdseed & Sodas!  *LOL*

I got some Beef and Veggie Broths, bunches of Heirloom Colored Carrots with the Greenery Tops still on them, some Mexican Grey Squash, some Mexican Eggplant, Mini Baby New Potatoes and some Stew Seasoning called "Grandpa's Stew", so, we can blame it on The Man {Grandpa} if nobody likes it.  *Winks*  I was gonna put some Bicolor Sweet Corn Kernel Coblets in it too, but had no room left in the Crockpot, coz The Daughter went Wild chopping up the other fresh Veggies.   We were down on Sodas and The Man's Peach Tea so I stocked up since all of those were on Sale as well.  It didn't seem like that much Groceries for over a Hundred Bucks and especially since most everything had been on Sale that I bought, reduced considerably.  Even the Seasoning Packets were BOGO Free, so I stocked up on those.  I had bought Two packs of the Stew Meat to make another, but different Stew in a Day or so.

When I buy my Fresh perishable Groceries I only buy enuf for a Meal or Two, and prefer to shop daily for what's needed of Fresh items.  You never know what will be on Sale or look really good in the Produce Section and I Wing it with making a Dish that will utilize what I buy on The Fly.  *Smiles*   The Mexican Eggplant is smaller and milder, often elongated, so one long one will usually do it, and the Mexican Grey Squash {above} I use a lot too, since it's a smaller Squash and always abundant here.   With not focusing as much on the dire state of the Nation and our Politics, I can and am now focusing more on Healthy Living and Fresh mostly Plant Based Dietary changes we're making as a Family.  Seems everyone is now on Board coz they're liking what I'm making and I haven't gone completely Vegan on them.  *LMAOROTF*  I actually like Vegan food, so have no opposition to eating it, just not exclusively.

I do find if I can make tasty enuf Fresh Foods that are predominantly Plant Based and quite flavorful, the Family is less inclined to want a lot of Meats in it, or Dairy Products in their Diet, or Junk Foods, and scale back considerably on consuming it.   If you do get used to eating Fresh healthier Food you recalibrate pretty quickly to not having crazy Cravings for shit your Body just doesn't need and isn't actually nutritious or good for you.   And you feel better and have more Energy, so, there's not any downside other than Shopping for perishables of Fresh ingredients more often, which, I don't mind at all.  Or growing it yourself and harvesting it in Season.  Which I also don't mind but is trickier.  One becoz tho' we have a Year Round Growing Season, it is a Desert and keeping shit alive is challenging.  Two, Wild Animals like your offerings too and raid your Gardens.  They don't Care if they leave you any.  *LOL*

 

I once had a Groundhog that took down all of my large Chocolate Mint Bushes like a Cartoon Character, by pulling the whole damned things down his Hole!   His Breath must have been Minty Fresh, but I was distraught and had to change up planting them in the Ground to planting them in Pots.  But, they'll still get to them if they want a Free Buffet Spread of whatever you're growing.   So, tho' we do grow some of our own Food and Herbs, not an abundance of it coz it's a lot of Work for not a huge Harvest and cheaper to buy it Fresh from Local Grocers and Farmer's Markets, which, they pretty much have around the City every Weekend.   The colorful Heirloom varieties of Veggies and Root Veggies are not only pretty and visually more interesting, but also contain a greater concentration of more phytonutrients and antioxidants.

The Daughter got used to eating more Fresh Foods and Home Cooking while in Mexico and learned to make a lot of the delicious Fresh Dishes.  What is passed off as Mexican Food in America, is mostly an Americanized limited not so authentic version and not what you find in the Coastal Regions of Mexico she lived in and our Ex-SIL is from either in Central Mexico.  They eat a lot more fresh Seafood, grilled foods, Goat, Lamb, Plantain, Pozole and such.  Since, there's 32 distinct Regions in Mexico and even 65 Native American Cultures in Mexico, so the food is not monolithic.  To say "Mexican Food" and limit it, means you've never been there and seen the incredible diversity of the Cuisine and Culture from various Regions.  The differences are as varied as in various European Nations and Cultures. And you don't just say "European Food" when distinguishing France, England, Gaelic Countries, Italy, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Turkey, Eastern European and Scandinavian Countries.

The Stew turned out pretty good, I Loved the Broth the Spice Packet's made, I combined the "Grandpa's Stew" Packet of Spices with a "Pot Roast Stew" Packet of Spices to make the flavor profile we preferred.  I found just the "Grandpa's" wasn't flavorful enuf, but combined with the "Pot Roast" one, perfect.  The Veggies turned out awesome but I wasn't fond of the Stew Meat, but, The Man Loved that best, so, a matter of preference I suppose.  It was Warm and Cozy to eat on a Cold Night, which was the main point of making a Comfort Food like Stew in the Winter.  I like Crockpot Meals coz I'm no Culinary Jedi by any stretch of the Imagination.  *Smiles*   For the Daughter of a Talented Master Chef that is embarrassing to admit, but my Younger Brother Inherited the Natural Talent our Dad had with Cuisine, my Brother is an exceptional Cook.  He just didn't make a Career of it. 

My Dad taught our Mom everything she knew about Cooking and Baking, she became exceptional at it.  But she joked that before meeting Dad, she couldn't even boil Water right.  *LOL*   Our Nanna said the only time Mom could Cook was when she was Sleep Walking.  Yes, that's not a Joke, it's the Truth, Awake she couldn't Cook worth a damn.  But our Nanna said she Slept Walked and could Cook anything during a Sleep Walking Episode, isn't that Weird?   Nanna said she'd caught her many times in the middle of the Night Cooking but not really Awake, and she'd have made entire Meals she couldn't have made while Awake.  She quit Sleep Walking in her late 20's and never did it again.  The Daughter used to Sleep Walk too as a Child and quit doing it by her Teens.   Anyway, I guess some things could be Hereditary and some things seem passed along via Genetics.  The Culinary Jedi thing skipped over me.  *LOL*

I binge watched more of LOST, learning more about the Character's Back Stories before they got stranded on the Island.  Still in Season 1, so I have many more Binges to go to entertain myself.  *Smiles*  I never did get any Chores done I thought I would, I've been out of breath most of the day and really couldn't physically exert myself.  I'll be Interested on Monday's Cardiology Appointment to hear what the Heart Monitor might reveal about what's going on with my Heart?  Pretty sure something isn't Right coz I've never been this out of breath or fatigued in my life.  Of coarse it could be Stroke related more than Heart related, I've Dr. Googled all that, of coarse.  *Winks*  Apparently Stroke can disrupt the Brain's Control Center for Breathing.  Which can lead to abnormal Breathing Patterns, weakened Respiratory Muscles, and potential complications like aspiration Pneumonia.   All of which can contribute to Shortness of Breath.

 

I don't know if it will get better or improve, I Hope so.  When you're really fatigued and having Shortness of Breath doing practically nothing, well, it impairs function a lot.   It means not a lot is getting Done by me anyway and I'm having to Nap so often that I Sleep a lot of Day away and need major Rest even if I do something minor.   It's frustrating and has caused me some depression about it, I ain't gonna Lie, when you can't do what you want or need to, then it is a Head Trip for sure.  My Head Space is sometimes not great due to it.   But, I'm adapting to how it just is for now and realizing getting Down about it isn't particularly Helpful.   I will talk to my Cardiologist frankly, just like I did with my Neurologist, the latter said I'm doing remarkably Well, so that was very Encouraging to hear, since, he sees a LOT of this kind of thing, it's his Specialty.  The Cardiologist too, and he seemed to think I'm doing remarkably Well so soon after the Stroke.  I'm just Impatient.  *LOL*

The above is an Old Pix of my Animal Hide and Leather Club Chair, when I first laid Eyes on it.   I bought it from my Friend Big Kenny many, many, Moons ago, and made Payments on it.   We've been thru a lot of Chairs, even expensive Quality ones that just didn't last, but, this one has.   It seems to get better with Age like the old 1920-1930's Style Club Chairs, which, are hard to find and usually too expensive when you do find one.  My Friend Robert has had many Gentlemen's Club Antique Chairs For Sale from that Era, but, were out of my League to be able to afford to purchase.   I can be a Player at a certain price point.  *Le Sigh*  So are 19th Century Chesterfield Leather Sofa's, which, I always wanted one of those, an Antique one preferably.  But, our Grey Leather Contemporary Sectional was the Top O' The Line of what I could actually afford to Buy on a payment program from the Seller.  It's held up and seats more too.  A Chesterfield can command well over Ten Grand.  Not a Player at that price point.

We Love our Media Chairs, but have had to replace them fairly often, they just wear out.  I feel we get our Money's Worth out of them, but the replacement keeps getting more expensive as the Years go by.  The Two we have right now are in Fair shape.  The Grey one I bought secondhand at Nan's Antique Store for about half the price it would have cost Retail.  The Black one we got from a large Furniture Store Chain, MOR.  The Black one will probably need replacement first, so I'm keeping my Eyes peeled now.   Even tho' there's no budget for any major purchase at the moment, or perhaps for a long moment, or ever?  *LOL and Le Sigh*  You do get to the place where you know you are gonna just have to Make Do with whatever you have and that's about it, no wiggle room, and, that's where we stand this far into Retirement now.  And me being too Sick now to Work any Side Hustles properly and more Medical and Home Maintenance expenses piled up to the hilt.  It happens.

I feel Fortunate tho'.  And am reminded of Dear Friends who've had it ever so much worse the way Fate just played out for them.  Above is a Pix that reminded me of that.  My Friends CeeCee and Charles Owned this Historic Property in Downtown Historic Glendale.  It was not only their Home, but their Business.  It was a Quaint Restaurant and Antique Store on the Lower Level and they Lived Upstairs.  They ran an Occasional Sale out of the Garage Section, and this Home used to be Lovely and Charles was a Master Gardener.  So the Grounds were fabulous and they Hosted Wedding Parties and such on the Front Lawn.  Well, CeeCee got Sick.  She lost her Sight first, then became Wheelchair Bound, Charles was Devoted to her and Sold Off everything, which meant along the Journey they eventually they had to Close the Restaurant and Shop.  

They Sold the Property but made arrangements to Live in the Upstairs section above the Garage, which was like a Mother-In-Law Apartment Unit.  Connected on the Upstairs level by a Walkway built between the MIL Apt. and the Main House, very Unusual. {See Below, to the Left of the House in the Pix}  Eventually CeeCee Died, succumbing to her Illness, he'd been a Devoted Caregiver and CeeCee endured her decline with Dignity and Grace.  I ran into Charles much later and he said he just got an Apartment.  He'd had to Sell off everything, literally, they Owned, they'd been Consummate Collectors for Years and had envisioned a Retirement turning out quite differently, of coarse.  I think Charles was much Younger than CeeCee, but he said she was the Brains of their Union and the Business End of it.  

He was the Creative part and Master Gardener, one without the other just didn't Work.   And he'd lost his Passion for what they always did together.  I haven't seen Charles in a long, long while now but I do think of him and Hope he's doing better?  My Heart ached for them, and for him as the Survivor of what they'd been thru.   What is as tragic as what happened to them is what has happened to that Historic Home.  The new Business Owner let all the fabulous Gardens Die Off, tore out the Front Garden and made it into an Asphalt Parking Lot, and has let the Old Home pretty much go to Hell.   It's been Sold and Bought numerous times since and nobody is taking good Care of it while running failing Businesses out of it.  It breaks my Heart so much, given the Wonderful Memories and Photos I had of it before, that I don't even like to drive by it.  

All of Historic Downtown Glendale is in serious decline since the Chinese National, David Chang, has bought up all the Historic Properties and kicked Businesses out, most lay Vacant now and blighted the Area.  So, it's not only no longer a Destination, but I don't like driving down it's Main Street or Historic Neighborhoods like I used to when it was so vibrant and well taken Care of.   A lot of people Sold their Homes and Businesses when the decline became so apparent, to try to Salvage some of their Equity and have a Safer place to Live and Work.   Things become Unsafe once an Area is in decline and it becomes apparent.  Whether it can or will be Resurrected again is iffy.  It was blighted once before in the 1970's and so I hold out Hope it will become Gentrified again someday.  Probably not in my Lifetime I suspect, but, you never know.  My Astrology Store where I get my Nag Champa Essential Oil is still down there.  I try to Support the Businesses hanging in there.

Life has it's Ups and Downs, Ebbs and Flows, there's a lot of things I Let Go of or had to give up, Sell, and I'm Glad I still have the Photos and the Memories.  You don't Sell your Memories and nobody is Buying them, you have to keep that in Mind.  The Memories you get to Keep and when you're Selling, remember that they're NOT Buying the Memory, just the Item.  They'll make their own Memories with whatever it is.  The Memories are the Priceless part and why I take so many Photographs, coz often you just don't remember everything as it was and I find that the Visuals then prompt those Memories back into my Consciousness and I can remember so much about that particular time, place, the people and details, sometimes long forgotten or grown fuzzy or dim with Time.   Now that the Kids and most of the Grandkids are Adults, I like to look back at their Childhoods and fondly recall what Fun we had then, along with enjoying the Fun we have now together.  I Hope we made a lot of good Memories for them.

I know our Elders made a lot of good Memories for me, and for that, I'm truly Grateful.   Above, a Teen me, when I was about Princess T's Age, with one of my Paternal Uncle's Wife, my Aunt Dee, who was of the Cherokee Tribe and from Tahlequah, Oklahoma.   Where all of my Dad's side of the Family still live within the Cherokee Nation.  They're all Gone now, my Elders, on both sides of the Family, but the Memories remain so long as we keep those.

*******

Blessings, Love and Light from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian