Wednesday, May 29, 2024

The Selfish Blogger



 I think I got myself too wound up on Tuesday, with everything that went Wrong in a single day, since by Evening, I had Insomnia and was wound up tighter than a 7-Day Clock!  *LOL and Le Sigh*  So, for the first time in Days I watched the News, which of coarse is focused on all of Hair Furor's numerous Trials and Crimes he's been Indicted on.  One of which should Wrap up and have a Verdict by Morning regarding the Porn Star Cover Up Payoff to commit Election Fraud in 2016 and Falsify Business Records.  Among other things, High Crimes and Misdemeanors.   I don't even think I have EVER seen a Single Defendant with so many Trials and Counts and that just speaks to me of how much of a Career Criminal he is and always has been, spanning Decades and eluding Prosecution too long.




 Not that she's the only Porn Star or Victim of his that he's Paid-Off, pretty long History of that actually.  Pretty long History of being a Sex Offender and Fraudulent Business Practices, well, Fraud in General, just more Evidence on this Case that could stick and broke even more Laws.  It's unfortunately not just a matter of being Guilty with the Criminal Justice System.  You could be Guilty as fuck of a lot of Crimes, even the most Serious ones, but, can they be successfully Prosecuted is the actual Question most of the time?  And the fact an Ex American President, whose even running for a 2nd Term thru all this, has so many Indictments as a fucking Mob or Cartel Boss, well, it's a National Embarrassment and Disgrace, isn't it?  If he's let to continue to get away with any/all Criminal Activity, with no consequences, he will not Stop, it will surely escalate.  And I doubt they'll incarcerate an Ex-President, where would they House him and his Secret Service Details?  Just a Thought we'd never previously had to consider as a Nation.  *Eye Roll*




I'm Retired from one of the largest DA's Offices in the Nation, Trust and Believe the worst Criminals and the Obscenely Rich and Powerful often can't be successfully Prosecuted, it's just the Reality that exists.  And there's a LOT of reasons why that is, and he exhibits damned near all of them.  If the Right people can be successfully Paid Off, Intimidated or Threatened, well, successful Prosecution won't happen.   People with a lot to lose can be and often are the most brutal actually.  And let's face it, lots of Money is exchanging Hands with this Guy and he's very adept at Threatening and Intimidating, Weaponizing his "People" to exact Revenge and do his Dirty Work on his behalf.  And he's such a Narcissistic Psychopath, that he's pretty Open and Brazen about all of it, lest anyone have Eyes Wide Shut and pretend otherwise.  Whether someone perceives such Behavior as "Strength" makes me Question their Moral Compass and what they wholeheartedly Support and Admire.  It's Surreal.  How the fuck did we even get here as a Nation?!



BTW: Look up the Video of Randy Rainbow singing a 45 Parody of 9 to 5, hilarious!!!   I'm circulating it on my Book of Faces Feed but can't figure out how to Share it here.  Anyway, he's avoided lots of Prosecution since the 1970's actually and getting away with a Host of Criminal Activity.  Classic... he's not "New" at this.  I can't even Predict the Outcome even if the Prosecution has a tight Case. Since, Jurors can and do have reasonable Doubts, get really Scared of Retaliation in High Profile Cases.  And their Fears are Justified, since they're average folks, and he's already blatantly had Witnesses, Jurors, Court Officials, Judges, Politicians, and other Public Servants get Death Threats.   So, it's not Safe.   And, Jurors can also be tainted or biased and still get on a Jury and favor a Criminal.  I've even heard a Juror of a High Profile particularly brutal Murder Case Locally brag later that THEY were the ones "Holding Out" and clearly it apparently made them feel somehow powerful or more important!  WTF!?!




Lucky for the Two Victim's Families, a Guilty Verdict was still delivered in spite of a single Juror's Ego getting in the way of making a tight Case solidly stick.  Or the dangerous multiple Murderer not have Justice Served appropriately and end up with a Hung Jury or Acquittal becoz of one Juror with an oversized Ego on a Power Trip.  *Whew*  And when you hear a Regular Person saying something like that, about a High Profile Case especially, you realize that Jurors are just regular People, flawed and with their own Issues and/or Baggage, Feelings, Fears, Egos, Biases and Opinions about just anything or everything.   So, getting 12 of them to Unanimously Agree on anything is a Tall Order.  Just being a Juror on a very High Profile Case is a Tall Order, you put yourself at potential Risk.  Average folks don't have Protection against brutal retaliation and they know it.  It could affect their decision.




Anyway, even with Insomnia I could only watch just so much of THAT before I just couldn't... so... I Blog in Quiet Solitude with the TV Off now.  Preferable.  *LOL*  I'm a Selfish Blogger you see, I am.  Yep, I Blog FOR ME mostly and primarily, it's why I began Blogging, it was a very Egocentric Choice.  Not that I don't appreciate you all, Dear Readers, I do, and, all Readers are here by Choice too.  But, every Post here is for me, or about me and mine, or my Opinions, Peeves, Life, Passions, Interests, Trials and Tribulations... yep, ALL of it has an ulterior motive I do it for.  *Winks*   And that only has a Negative connotation becoz acting on a hidden agenda is typically considered sneaky and self-serving.  *LOL*




So, I'm not trying to be sneaky about it, just transparently self-serving, and that's Okay IMO, it's MY Blog.  *LMAO*   It's like Decorating your Home and Inviting Guests in really, who may Critique your Style or Taste and not necessarily LIKE how you did it.  But at the end of the Day, it's your House, so you're the only one that it has to Please regardless of what anyone else Thinks about it.  *Winks*   I've always found it rather interesting for any Guest to presume to be a Critic to the Host about a Host's Home, since, it's not all about them, is it?  *LMAOROTF*   Sure, you might be forming Opinions about any place you visit, in Real Life or Cyberspace, but, it's not all about you, some folks fail to recognize that Reality.  But, on your Blog and in your Home, it CAN be all about YOU. Big difference.  *Winks*




I have a Dear Friend who just has a Faulty Filter when it comes to what falls out of her Mouth.  She's always been that way, so, it's her folly and she's endearing in other ways, so, I don't personalize it.  She shall remain Anonymous in The Land of Blog, since, it's not relevant who she is, but, you might find yourself relating to her Habits perhaps?  Or, know someone like her?   Anyway, she's the kind of Friend who, if she sees something of Yours, she's going to have no Filter whatsoever about what she might say about it and think about it.   And for some reason, when she would, she'd place way more importance on her Opinion than it warrants to whoever it's criticizing. 




 You see, to some of us, we don't Care what you say or think about something of ours... it's ours, not yours.  *LOL*  And it seemed to bother her if you just Laughed and reminded her, well, it's not all about you, is it?  *Winks*  And if she persisted in trying to convince me a Style or item was something SHE didn't Like, I'd acknowledge that clearly it wouldn't be for YOU then... but, I Like it, it for ME.  So, could really give a Rat's Ass if anyone else Likes it, agrees on the merits of it, would wear, decorate or Buy it... that was MY Choice, so, whatever.  *Ha ha ha*  I'd never personally voice an Opinion openly about someone else's Taste or Home unless they Solicited my Advice and wanted my Honest input.






But, that said, if they still want it, dig it, know it's resonating with them, I'd encourage them to still do it and fuck what I have to say about it or think about it, doesn't matter.   Opinions are like Assholes, everyone has one, but you don't have to BE one, you can choose not to be, you know?  I've known Tasteless people and those who seem to have impeccable Taste and Style, but, to each their own... since, it doesn't even matter, if it makes them Happy, you do you Boo, with no apologies or regrets.  In fact, some Tasteless Choices have been more Interesting to me.  Take the Set on the Old Series "Roseanne", it was intentionally done Tastelessly and with Humor behind those Choices... and I'd scrutinize the Set on every Episode to find that Humor on Tasteless Decor.  I knew folks whose Homes resembled that, they were always comfortable, welcoming, homey and inviting tho'.





I've been to impeccable Homes with Top Shelf Taste and not felt comfortable, welcoming, and they weren't as inviting to hang out in, so, it's not actually the Decor that matters, is it?  The Vibe and the Host is what's important to me, what Energy is it throwing off?   I'd rather someone say I have the Weirdest fucking Home they've ever seen, but WANT to be here and feel relaxed and comfortable in it.  Than to have all kinds of Compliments about it and see they're not at ease or don't come over often becoz it's not feeling like a Home away from Home to them.  Remember, I'm that Weirdo that wanted my Home to look like the Set on The Addams Family, even as a Child, it's what I aspired to.  I Channel my Inner Morticia Addams daily.  And my Mom had impeccable Taste and Style, so I know what that is, but, it's not always FOR me personally, it was very much HER tho' and suited HER Aesthetic, not mine.  She and I would even Joke about it.




Mom was Bohemian, but a more High Class one, so she would be like, "Bloody Hell, Dawn...", when she'd come over and see something Kitsch or Tasteless I'd just Decorated with, but Loved, and we'd Laugh like Hell about it.  Dad had the Taste for Kitsch, Artsy Eccentric and Tacky shit, so I might have gotten it from him?  *LOL*  She knew my Taste and would Gift me with the Best and most Appropriate Gifts, not something she'd want or like, but she knew I would.  And vice-versa.  I'd be Buying something High Class and very Top Shelf, and Friends that knew me well would be sometimes a bit confused until I'd say it was a Gift for Family/Friend who digs that kinda thing.  But, if same Friend saw something Weird and Wonderful or a certain Quirky Aesthetic, they ALWAYS thought of me and often would buy it FOR me since, well, I'm ME.  And seeing anything like that, I always came to Mind they said.  *Bwahahaha*  Ah, at least they Think of me often.  *LOL*




The Daughter's Boss didn't show up to pick her up so I had to take her.  Her Free Phone is broken and we don't know if she'll Qualify for another one to replace it?   So, she didn't get his Text telling her he's going in way too early to get her for now.   That sucks since I'm already having to drive Princess T to Summer School, and now Three Days a Week, at least for a while, I'll have to drive The Daughter into the City again now too on her Work Days.  *Le Sigh*   We've been telling people to call her on our Landline Phone instead until we figure out how to replace her Phone.  She can't afford a Monthly Phone and to ask about a replacement on the Free Phone for the Marginalized that Qualify, you have to find one of the Tents they set up to give them out.  I haven't seen any for a little while, at least not while she's with me.




Plus, when she Qualified for that Phone she was on the 90 Days worth of Nutritional Assistance.   They cut them off now after 3 Months, so, I guess you only need to Eat for that long?  *LOL*   So, she's getting all Paranoid that now her 90 Days is long up, she won't Qualify for her Phone anymore if she goes to replace the broken one?  I just don't know how long the Phone Program for the Marginalized is going to be Funded?  So many Programs now are briefly Funded, so you just never know.  I appreciate any that will help her, she's not going to get any better and she's limited on what she can do.   I don't even know that her Boss really needs her, but he has her doing little things around the Shop so she has at least enough for what would be difficult for me to provide for her.  I doubt a regular Employer whose not a Friend would hire her or she could perform whatever they'd need her to do, keep it together and hold it down?




Anyway, I want to still convince her to let me take her in to Social Security to see if she'd re-qualify for SSI?   She did 18 Years ago before she left the Country and her Diagnosis and Condition is permanent, there is no Cure and she's never getting Well from it.   But, criteria is always changing and her Son, The Young Prince, didn't qualify and was Denied... and to me he's way worse off than she is and far less functionally Disabled.   To protect his Dignity I won't go into all the Details, but it is pretty bad, and yet they found flimsy reasons to Deny him Benefits or Services.   Shit like, well, he can still Feed, Bathe and Dress himself... and I'm thinking to myself, how many people already on SSI can't though?  And, is that the Low Bar and Standard now?   Oh, and BTW, he's so thin becoz it's hard to get him to eat, coz he sees his Food MOVING!





Not to mention that often he'll wear the same Clothing for Days and have to be reminded to change or Bathe and practice daily hygiene, and that's just the things I CAN and will disclose.   Allen is a very good Caregiver, so he does a lot for his Husband, like I do for The Man.  But if he didn't have a Caregiver, I don't know if he'd Eat, Bathe or Dress himself really... we've all always been there for him and don't want to abandon him to see what would happen, just so he'd come with a fucking paltry SSI Disability Check!!!   WTF!!!???   No Company will Hire him either, not even a McDonalds, he's applied and the Condition he's in, nope, they aren't willing to assume the liability of someone with pretty severe Schizophrenia.   He's highly intelligent, but, Zones Out a LOT and is damned near comatose when he's rendered non-functional or has a Schizo Episode... and THOSE are a Wild Ride.




The Daughter has less of them than she did in her 20's, so my Hope is his will subside some with Aging too, but, they could get worse.   He's on pretty high doses of Medicinal MJ just to be as functional as he is, his Brain Function from the Severe Mental Illness has deteriorated considerably over Time and it does worry me how long he can be left unsupervised while Allen is at Work?   Right now he's got Tyson, the Emotional Support Dog, with him constantly and Believe it or not that Helps a LOT.  Tyson seems to sense when he's needed to be in a Supportive Role and when his Human is in Crisis or deteriorating.  He won't leave his Side when that happens and The Grandson finds it comforting and helps get him back to Center.   I think it could be similar to how Dogs can pick up when an Epileptic is gonna have a Seizure?




Anyway, I've told Allen to try to take his Husband in again there in New Mexico for an Eval and to re-apply for SSI, each State seems to have different Standards for Qualifying Residents.  Some States are better than others at providing Assistance to Marginalized Populations, Arizona Sucks and has abysmal Services and Approval Rates to receive what little they will provide.   But, you usually have to be a Resident at least a Year to even apply for any Benefits, State or Federal, in any State.  And I don't know the criteria for every State, Washington State was easier for The Grandsons to receive Services and they had more things like Homeless Shelters and Help for LGBTQ+ Youth living on the Streets there, Arizona is scarce on Shelters or has nonexistent Services other States provide for populations in Crisis.  Red and Purple States are notorious for that BTW, go figure.  *Eye Roll* 




 When you see the Seriously Mentally Ill on the Streets, Thank Social and Government Indifference to their plight mostly.  If they don't have Family willing or able to stand in the Gap indefinitely and provide everything they'll ever need, they are screwed.   Even if they have Family, often they'll be on the Streets tho', The Daughter was Homeless for most of her Adult Life and so Ill that you couldn't maintain her anywhere she didn't want to be.  We tried to for Years and it's only the past Couple she was able to coexist with us in Harmony and without levels of Paranoia that would cause her to bail out.   Involuntary Commitment now is Rare, it was abused too much in the past and most of those Facilities are worse than being Homeless and on the Streets, so, she didn't want to be Institutionalized for her Condition.   She has been, both in Mental Health and Penal Institutions for her Condition and how it manifests, numerous times, so, I Believe her when she says Homelessness was better.  That speaks Volumes about our Institutions.




In fact, she is so Ill that most Penal Institutions here and in Mexico, wouldn't have her and would give her early release, since, she'd hurt herself or others all the time.   In the Communities in Mexico that know her well, she said the Local Police ignore her and pretend they don't see her so they didn't have to pick her up.  *LMAO*  She said that her habit of beating herself up made them nervous, she'd do a pretty good job of it and they didn't wanna risk her saying they did it if she wasn't lucid enuf to realize she did it to herself.   Since, she is an American Citizen and so, even during Pandemic Curfews, she'd have no  Cops there busting her for violating Pandemic Curfews, which were strictly enforced in Mexico.  She said they made it Safer during Pandemic than America apparently did, and isn't that a sad commentary of how we handled it here?  When 3rd World Countries did a much better job and had far less COVID Casualties due to that.  *Eye Roll*



*******

I'm a Ray of fucking Sunshine, I know... Selfishly Yours... Dawn... The Bohemian

4 comments:

  1. Speaking of decor, as a former record store worker of more than a decade, I used to come home with an incredible amount of music swag, (posters, standees, various tchotchkes) most of which ended up on my apartment walls and shelves. My gf used to call my signature style, "20th Century Boy's Bedroom."

    I just hated empty wall space and preferred to fill it with something cool.

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    1. Ditto, cannot stand empty Space. *LOL and Winks* The Young Prince used to advise me to give the Eye somewhere to Rest. *Bwahahaha* I think Music Swag could be an incredible Decor Statement. Lately I've been finding some of the best Tees with Vintage Grateful Dead Art on them, they had some of the best and most Iconic Graphics IMO. A lot of that is making a big comeback with the Young Generations, they're Buying up all the Old Vinyl, Posters and Tchotchkes of our Music Generation. At our Antique Mall that's what is Selling best in fact.

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  2. No one would ever think your home looks like an annex of a Home Goods store. Yours may be over the topic individualistic but that's far more interesting than the boiler plate homes 80% of the population has and loves. I guess there is comfort for some in conformity. That's never been me either. I miss 'junking' days but I find myself bringing home feathers and stones and pine cones from my walks so I obviously still have that collector's blood in my veins.

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    1. Well, Naturalist Style is very Trending now Jean so Collections of Naturalist Objects is perfect Decor. I too would Gag if I had the boilerplate Home where it looks like an American Furniture Warehouse, Home Goods or Ikea Showroom. When I walk into a Home with no Essence of the Occupants I wonder who they even ARE, perhaps they do too? *LOL* The comfort in conformity is strong in The Herd, but I've been a Nonconformist since I was a very small Child and was resistant to being told I had to conform. I'm glad my Kids and The G-Kid Force are authentic to themselves and confident in their own Skins. The Man came from a Culture of Conformity and rigid Religiosity, I think he found comfort in our Eccentricity actually, since, his Nature was not lined up with how he was Raised and so he never fit in and always felt misfit. A merry Band of Misfits is always more interesting and has more fun. *Winks* So, we're all in good company when we find our Tribe, aren't we? The Collector's Blood in your Veins will never go Cold Jean, and if you still enjoy it, why stop? Well, within reason... bwahahahahaha... I have an RV Garage filled with not stopping soon enuf. *winks*

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl