The Grandsons left Yesterday Morning, The Young Prince left some of his possessions until they get settled, then they'll come back with a U-Haul to retrieve the rest. I will re-inherit his Tropical Fish again. *LOL* I was cordial with Allen, but nobody else wanted to be, they weren't being petty, he's not close to either of the Menfolk or Princess T and the feeling is mutual. They'd said their Goodbyes to The Young Prince separately and privately. I know it's hard for him, since he Loves everyone involved and has to hold that awkward Space his Husband has created as an In-Law whose become an Outlaw... it happens, what can I say. Above is one of The Young Prince's Mannequin Creations called 'Greed'. He didn't get to finish One of the Two he's making for me.
I started putting a Cheap faux Tree up and had bought that Antique Industrial Bucket with Lettering from Shelly to put said Tree in. She Sold it to me for what she'd Paid for it. *Yay* The Kids that Work at SAVERS Chazza had given me their Employee Discount to Buy said Tree, Bless them. That way I didn't have to get mine out of Storage. I finally had to send The Daughter all the Bus Fare for the Granddaughters to return Home since Salvador's side of the Family weren't Honoring their Agreement to Fund it.
We, The Daughter, and her group of Friends had Bankrolled everything during this Crisis and we didn't make a Big Ask of his side of the Family, so, it was Telling that they didn't contribute, I'm disgusted at how they've handled his Children's situation after a Crime that took their Dad away from them. They are not Poor and they have Maria's Pension and are Renting out her Home now, so, my opinion was they were just trying to offload the Kids and that didn't work out the way they Planned it. His Family has Custody and they know The Daughter isn't Well enuf to Raise the Children and cannot support them. Here's her and the Grandkids at the Bus Station, I paid for the most Expensive Bus that had all the creature comforts and would arrive an Hour earlier at their Destination. Also what they'd need for Meals. They are happy to be going Home.
Salvador's Wife Diana's Family are stepping up to take them in, and there's not even a Biological connection to those Kids, but, at least they have a place to go back to there. We couldn't get past the corrupted American Border Patrol and broken Immigration System to take on the responsibility even tho' we were willing to. But, the Kids were opposed to being with their Mom or living full time here and with us, and the Oldest has a College Scholarship in Mexico she'd lose. So, I can understand the Kids wanted to be consulted on what happens to their Lives, they weren't being given that consideration and naturally they resented it. And Teens Act Out probably even more than Younger Kiddos when they're Scared, Upset, Lives Disrupted or Angry. They're at the Mercy of Adults and feel no Control over their Life and no sense of Security right now.
His Family were not Truthful with the Kids and deceived them about what was happening, especially about being sent to America. They made it seem it was a mini Vacation due to the Crisis at Hand, and not a permanent Simplistic Solution to a Complex Problem. The Kids saw thru the Ruse and resented having no Consultation and being foisted off on a Mom they hardly know and Maternal Relatives they don't really know, since, it's their Lives being Planned Out without their Consent. I never thought that was Wise... they're Teens and perceptive, so, it broke Trust. I was Honest about it all and so The Daughter wasn't going along with his Family's desire to keep the Kids uninformed, they had a Right to know the Truth, even a difficult Truth. Kids can handle Truth better than Lies and Misinformation, nobody likes to be deceived.
And, the Panic decisions being foisted upon us by his Family was on The Fly to adapt fast and just be Reactive. So it cost us more than we could afford to try to accommodate on the turn of a dime, hasty Plans other people made, in a situation that had been caused there, not here. I couldn't do much from a distance that was relevant or Comforting to those poor Kids. I think they realize their Dad was not only Shot and Kidnapped, but probably Murdered. And they are unlikely to have Closure. After even a known Homicide the first 48 are Crucial, it's been over a Month now since his abduction and NO Word about his disposition or his Abductors. In broad Daylight in front of numerous Witnesses... so... just sayin'.
We spent Thousands and it ended up being for nothing. Except perhaps giving the Kids a break from the Crisis and getting them to immediate Safety to ensure they weren't also Targets. It was becoming a Money Pit and no movement forward, so, I finally said I was Done with the Game Playing his Family were doing, I bought the Bus Tickets and ended it. The Daughters Friends on that side of the Border couldn't be expected to take on her and Three Teens indefinitely while it all got sorted out, that could take Years. So, the only REAL Solution was to send them Home and his Family will have to sort that shit out amongst themselves. It's their responsibility to, since they have the Custody and all the financial Resources meant for those Children. The Daughter would be incapable of attaining even Voluntary Custody with her Mental Health Status and inability to support them.
The Plan would have had to be that we could just support them for the last few Years until they were Grown and Hope that Social Services here would never have involvement or run interference? I was leery about that happening, since even Adopting the Two I Raised since Birth and had Kinship Placement of, became a Dog and Pony Show that dragged on for Years and cost a small Fortune.
It took until The Grandson was 15 and his Sister was 10 before that was Legally finalized. And the situation was complex, but far less complex than it is now. When Dad's were present to Consent and relinquish Parental Rights voluntarily for those Two it was hard enuf. With Salvador's abduction, we can't produce any evidence of his Status, and he's the Legal Custodial Parent.
Anyway, I think it best that the Kids stay where they are and with Family they have been Raised by. I think it will work out, I'm just saddened that they realized their Dad's Family were trying to just get rid of them. And their Mom is too Unwell to be fit to Parent them even when she was willing to try. Abuelita Maria is now too old to finish Parenting them and a vulnerable Adult requiring Full Time Caregiving. So the Girls wanted to take Care of their Grandmother too, and ensure her level of Care is adequate. They're suspicious Family is only doing it to get at the Old Lady's Money and keep her Real Estate for themselves... and, the Kids are probably making a fairly accurate assessment of that IMO? Her Son was an Only Child and her only actual Heir.
Anyway, when The Grandsons get to Clovis, New Mexico, The Young Prince will contact me to let me know they arrived safely. When the Granddaughters arrive Safely at their destination in Central Mexico, in about 12 Hours, their Mom will inform me and then she'll cross the Border and come Home here. She can walk across where she's at and has people on this side that will get her to Phoenix. Without the Kids she has no problem Crossing, all her Papers are in Order and she's gone back and forth numerous times without incident before all this Drama. I'm just relieved it's over, she was beginning to Mentally fold under the strain and pressure, she understandably didn't know what to do. It wasn't sustainable as it was stalled out at.
I had taken The Man to SWEET SALVAGE with me when I went back on Saturday, to talk to Shelly about that Antique Industrial Bucket. He likes to go when it's calmed down, Opening Day would be too much Sensory Overload for him. *Smiles* I took more Pixs and they'll be dispersed among many of the next few Posts to give it all a distinctive Christmas Coming Vibe. *Winks* I bought The Man his Christmas Pressy, he's notoriously hard to Buy Pressies for. A new Designer Custom Makes Cowboy Hats and he fell in Love with her Hats, so I bought him one. He's a Hat Person, looks good in Hats, and wears them all of the time. So, it was a Perfect Gift and she gave him a Veteran's Discount, Bless her. This was the one I liked best so he chose it.
This was the one he was leaning towards initially, but it had Dried Flowers on it and I just couldn't see him wearing it often after the initial attraction worse off or the Flowers got damaged. The Man is hard on Hats so the Black Masculine one was sturdier and looked so good on him. It's Customized Embellishments were Cooler too and she comped him an Extra with a Roadrunner Pin he was partial to. He was jazzed and sported it all Day after the purchase, so, it's a Gift he really appreciated getting and will use, which made it a Perfect Christmas Pressy. Her Price Point was good for Custom Wool Cowboy Hats, far below what I know they could cost. Damned near all the other Designers were Buying themselves one. *LOL*
If I was a Hat Person I'd buy and wear one like this... but, I'm not, so... *LOL* Tho' a few Pixs Below I did dredge up an Old Pix of me in a Cowboy Hat. *Smiles* And, I'd definitely Buy one of Brittany's Creations to wear should I get a sudden Urge to start wearing Hats. *Smiles* I'm not quite there yet. *ha ha ha* SO LOVED... BOUTIQUE is on Instagram, Brittany is the Designer, Owner and Artisan {pictured below}, she started with Jewelry Creations.
As Promised: Me... in a Cowboy Hat and Suede Indigenous Style Fringed Native American Made Jacket I used to own... a few Moons ago... and before Dreadlocks... *LOL*
I like the Faux Wear that Brittany does on her Hats... and the Embellishments and Artistic Expressions making them quite distinctive...
I Photographed a few for your Pleasure...
And, she also Customizes plain Wool Cowboy Hats while you wait, to your specifications, which is Cool too. Watching the Process and having Input to your Hat's Customization is very Personalized and Special.
I'd trimmed The Man's Beard, he finally Trusted me to tidy him up and get the Scissors out. *LOL* I took him to Lunch at The Old Spaghetti Factory... I only Photographed the Appetizer of Sicilian Garlic Cheese Bread... we'd filled up on the Minestrone Soup and this Appetizer, so we got the Entree 'To Go'... Smiles... well, after the Spumoni Ice-Cream that comes with the Meal... *Winks*
Happy Thanksgiving... Dawn... The Bohemian
I probably shouldn't say it but I'm relieved you aren't going to be helping to raise three more grandchildren. I know your heart is in the right place and you felt you could handle the task but everyone has a breaking point and you're not as young as you were the first time around. Hope your daughter makes it home for Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteYou can say it since I've been saying it too... 😂...if nobody else would have we felt we had to but felt younger family there should be up to doing what was Right by his Children now... I'm Thankful Diana's Family are so attached to the Children and always treated them as their own. Our Daughter and Diana are close so she really hoped that legally Diana's Family can have the kids...Dawn the Bohemian
DeleteI'm glad someone stepped up for the kids. I know this entire thing had to be stressful for everyone involved. I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a nice Thanksgiving too Mary. Yes, they were better off in Mexico than here really. And, The Grandsons will be better off in New Mexico since Arizona is now so expensive for Young People so they couldn't live Independently. At the end of the day you want for your Kids to have the best Lives possible even if it has to be far off.
DeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Dawn, in spite of all the ups and downs. Hugs, Valerie
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving to you too, we ate out, it was great, no work or mess.
Delete