I'm about Five Unpublished Posts out now and they're hanging in the Publishing Scheduled for the Future Archives. I've been on rather a bloggy bender due to stressors, Writing and Photography are something I've always done to release anxiety built up. Remaining Positive when you don't actually feel it is sometimes a difficult facade to pull off for the Family's sake. I don't want to unnecessarily worry The Man or my Granddaughter because they already have significant issues with Anxiety. The Man's Health hasn't been good and we'll be seeing his Doctor in the Morning, I don't think it will be a Positive visit at all... so... there's THAT.
Then, I have something that has shown up in my own Health that doesn't look good or feel right to me, I don't have a Peace about it and I've got to figure out the best and quickest way to get it checked out during a still raging Pandemic!? One that has made scheduling of regular Doc visits impossible, Tests impossible or continuously delayed or cancelled, preventative medicine a thing of the Past and at Present not looking good to resume anytime soon. I don't know if what is wrong is serious, I'm trying to stay Calm and imagine it's not, but my imagination is jumping to conclusions that aren't Positive, let us just say that. I intentionally haven't blogged about it since I haven't had a Doc assess it yet to know what it is... or isn't.
I see my Diabetic Specialist next Week, but I don't want to wait a Week to get this checked out and I doubt it's anything Diabetes related anyway. So, I'm leaning towards just going in to an Urgent Care after The Man's Doc appointment, to get my concern addressed immediately and not have to dick around trying to get in to the Base Clinic. As it is, the 3rd Doc at the Base Clinic, that I've never had even one chance to actually see since Pandemic began, has had a permanent change of assignment and they've given me another new one I probably can't get in to see. *Le Sigh* If whatever feedback I get an Urgent Care isn't good, I'm going Hard to get in to see this new Primary assigned to me and at least get a Referral to a Specialist. Time could be of the essence, so I don't wanna be jerked around.
I was angry at the beginning of the Pandemic when I couldn't get in after injuring myself significantly after a Senior Fall... when I couldn't get in to see a Dentist during Three different Dental Emergencies for Months on end... when Care, if it's not COVID you have, is delayed or non-existent. There are a lot of other serious shit that can go wrong with your Health that isn't COVID related, so I don't feel everything else should take a back seat and put you at undue risk not being seen. If I feel alarmed about something regarding my Health, I want to be able to get in to see a Doctor in a reasonable amount of time and not be sidelined because they're consumed with Pandemic Patients.
I've had a few more people I know who have an Unvaxxed Loved One come down with serious Cases of COVID and Hospitalized, in some cases it doesn't sound good either. Tho' my Heart does goes out to the people I know when I hear this News, since it's devastating to them, of coarse for the Unvaccinated this is almost inevitable and a Given, isn't it? We know this, it's not a matter of IF they'll get it, just WHEN... and IF they'll Survive it or Die horribly? I just no longer have Words and there's not much to say... except mebbe a Polite response that tempers how you really feel about the Unvaccinated taking unnecessary risk and putting their Families in that horrible situation. Perhaps even having a needless Death or Long Hauler complications to Deal with for a Lifetime.
I'm certain people are now Dying of other complications due to lack of access to Health Care because Pandemic Patients have overwhelmed the whole system. I resent that because other Emergencies and Health Crisis happen every day and they deserve quality of Care too, not just the Pandemic Patient load. But I totally understand that Hospitals and their Staff are betwixt and between, Bless them, they're totally exhausted now from Two Years worth of this Madness. I don't want to be among the collateral damage of all of that, managing to avoid getting or Dying of COVID, then succumbing to something equally dangerous or deadly because I couldn't get Medical Care... you know?
So, this is a Post mostly about THAT... about having an issue that could be something serious, that I have significant concerns about, but which I cannot predict I'll get the Care I'll need and expediently enough to avert a Health disaster? Even a prompt diagnosis of whatever it is, to either ease my Mind that it's nothing to be worried about... or something that needs immediate attention? I don't like being in that kind of a Limbo about Health or Care, since I'm responsible for Loved Ones completely reliant upon me. So, Wellness for me is crucial to more than just me, in a very big way.
While I'm having Anxiety induced Insomnia, Princess T scurries in here holding a Black Light at past Midnight and saying she found a Scorpion in her Room! Why she was Black Lighting her Room past Midnight on a School Night I couldn't tell ya. Apparently Eli sucks at being a Scorpion Hunter tho', he was Clueless. Unlike Miss Priss, the Ole' Huntress and adept Working Cat, I don't think Eli is going to be a worthy replacement Working Cat at all, it's apparently just not in him and his Strength. *Eye Roll* I've always had Working Cats who earned their Keep, Eli is not one of those... we got a real Dud, but he can be Charming... whaddya gonna do. The Man was woken up to dispatch said Scorpion, he THINKS he almost killed it... Swell.
He THOUGHT it was wounded anyway and on Eli's Towel? So that is now sitting out on the Driveway where I had him toss it for now, until we can find a Scorpion Corpse when everyone is more Awake and Alert! A Black Light scan of the scene of the attempted Scorpion Assassination yielded no such Corpse, so Hopefully she has more of a Peace about going to Sleep now, but I doubt it! We just had our Exterminator out here a couple Days ago doing massive Treatments especially for Scorpion and Sugar Ant problems we've been experiencing, mostly Outside. You can't really treat for Scorpions, they're indestructible Prehistoric Creatures, so you can just try to rid them of their Food Source so they move on.
It is said you can freeze one of those fuckers, thaw it out many Moons later and it will just trot off as if nothing much happened. Not as creepy as what has just turned up coming out of the Arizona Desert ground during this Wet Summer we had. Apparently some Prehistoric Three Eyed Dinosaur Shrimps, officially called Triops, that could have lain dormant for eons, surfaced this Year and resurrected themselves back to Life! I don't know that I'd want to be handling something that looks this much like an Alien Lifeform, but apparently they're harmless? Just goes to show you what Life Forms exist on this Planet that most of us have never heard about or seen in a Lifetime!
Anyway, I did trek down to my Friend Bridget's Store "Grungy Galz" and then over to "Curious Nature" too, for some Retail Therapy of Quirky Merch I couldn't Live without. *LOL* Both Shops have the Eclectic Macabre Merch that is Weird and Wonderful, right up my Alley. I mean what Household is Complete without a Specimen selection of Badger Claw, Coyote Sacrum, Creepy Bug Entomology and an invasive Species of Dried Toad? Well, now mine's Complete, because check, check, check and check! Listen, when I'm totally Stressed Out these could be necessary purchases! *Bwahahahaha*
Yep, now the Giant Stag Beetle resides at Forever Boheme'... well, it was between choosing that one and the Lovely Green Dung Beetle and the bigger Bug just grabbed me, it was Size over Color, what can I say? *LOL* I also met up with The Son, we had Lunch together and exchanged their empty Aluminum Cans for all the Beer we've found while Can Gleaning. I had a large moving Box filled with an assortment of Craft Beers that we weren't ever gonna drink and I knew Gypsy James and his Buddies would. Tho', I was Surprised when the empties The Son loaded up for me were far less than usual. He's been cutting way back on drinking and said oddly, everyone else in the household wanted to support that and cut way back too! Tho' they didn't have to, he appreciated the solidarity towards eventual Sobriety.
So anyway, at Lunch The Son dropped a bombshell that the Company he works for and most of his Friends have worked for a lot of Years, the Owner Sold it without telling anybody. Well, the new Owners came in and laid off just about everyone, except for The Son and Gypsy James, and brought in their own people. Who they expected Gypsy James to Train, even tho' they're less skilled and going to pay them more than he's being paid after working for that Company for Years! So... he quit! So, now The Son is the only one who still has a Job and because of the new Vaccine Mandates, a lot of the Younger Guys who haven't been Vaxxed yet, and who have Families to Support, can't find Employment now! Yikes!
He's the only Single Guy without a Wife and Kids, so he feels really bad that he's the only one that the Company kept and was the newest employed there. He said the new Company's people aren't as skilled and this Company has a lot of huge Contracts with prominent Home Builders. So The Son isn't sure how many of the Contracts they'll lose now if the quality of workmanship isn't up to par now that the most Skilled Guys got laid off? Apparently new Management likes him and his Work, but he's not certain he'll stay with this new change of Management because he thinks they may run the company into the ground quickly. At least with being Single and no dependents, he's free to move across the Country doing Work if he has to, the Married Guys can't so much.
Gypsy James just bought that House, so it's stressful for him to be out of Work for the first time in his Life. I could tell he was completely out of character, so I'd asked The Son if everything was okay, then found out privately when we were at our Luncheon, that No, things were not okay. He said all the Guys have been blindsided by this and depression and anxiety are affecting them all now everyone is unemployed except him. He's doing whatever he can to be Helpful, since he's Sharing expenses anyway while living with them, but so many being Pink Slipped at once and finding it difficult to get Employed due to new COVID regulations has him Worried. He said some of these Guys are resentful to be forced to take a Vaccine they don't have a Peace about.
He knows how I feel about Mandates being necessary at this juncture or we'll never get over this Pandemic and get it up under sufficient control. I do feel that like most Pandemics thruout History it will eventually run it's course and those meant to Die Off will eventually all be Toes Up and Natural Selection will have prevailed as it always does. How many that will entail I could not say nor predict, it's already too many, already scary Variants emerging, I don't want to know how much worse it could get. The Son isn't in Agreement with me on all things, but he said being Informationally Challenged is something that is prevalent among too many, and it's hindering reliable Sources from convincing people of accurate information to make their decisions upon.
People being ridiculous and dumb, he just thinks is hilariously tragic, but he can't feel bad about any of it or what happens to them and is their Outcome. Being a Younger individual, he's totally pragmatic, his level of Empathy for the Informationally Challenged is nonexistent. He thinks if you can Believe Bullshit over Facts, perhaps the irony is you won't make it and weren't perhaps meant to? And... if you have reliable information and choose to ignore it, well, the chips will just fall as they may and you have nobody to blame but yourself. He even feels this way about himself, since he knows he's made some unwise decisions in Life that have Negatively impacted him and he blames nobody but himself for them. Every choice has a consequence... he's willing to Live with his. He has no sympathies for anyone that can't Live with theirs or behaves badly on purpose.
Anyway, in spite of discussing heavy somber topics, we had a very nice inexpensive Luncheon at "Wong's" with enough leftovers to take Home for a while other Meal for both of us. I think we lingered over Lunch longer than usual because there was so much to discuss and it's not as if we were gonna Solve all the problems of the Universe in that one sitting. He's doing well with staying Clean from Opiods, he confessed that the drinking is harder for him, but he's cut way back and proud of himself for not letting shitty circumstances cause him to backslide into Addictive Behaviors. He knows I'm up under a lot of Stress so told me not to get too carried away with Retail Therapy. Hey, we all Cope in unhealthy ways some of the time with our Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms. I confess I Coped poorly this day! *Winks*
I came away with a lot of Smalls, none expensive, but it all added up to spending more than I probably should have. Not that I broke the Bank, but I could have and should have perhaps used more restraint and less Retail Therapy to Cope, you know? Clearly The Son's Advice fell on Deaf Ears... Touche'... he had Laughed that now he knows how I feel all the time when I give all of them sound advice they won't and don't follow! *LOL* I told him I fully intend to grow Old disgracefully and that I could be Coping in worse ways. He had to agree with that... he confessed he couldn't have Shouldered all that I have and still do on a daily basis, he'd of surely Offed himself by now not being able to Cope with Mi Vida Loca if he were me!
I remember Years ago when I had my Breakdown and had to spend that infamous Week in Psyche Lockdown, they'd asked The Son how he'd felt about it? Since he and the DIL kinda inherited the responsibility and had to take over for me with the G-Kid Force... and The Man's Oldest Brother and SIL had to take over for me with The Man... spreading the Joy around Four different Family Members, it still completely overwhelmed them all in less than that Week. So, he simply told them that he was just Surprised I didn't Breakdown sooner! *LOL* So, he knows that things really haven't changed all that much and added stressors have just layered upon existing ones for me. We don't talk about it much since there's nothing to really say that is Helpful.
I didn't dare tell him my existing Worries about my Health, since that wouldn't have been Helpful right now either and he's Dealing with too much already where he's at. I'm just Hopeful that I don't have to tell everyone Bad News whenever I find out what the Hell is going on with what I'm concerned about? I'm never quite sure what is worse, being oblivious about something Wrong, or Knowing... especially if there's not much, if anything, one can DO about it with any measure of ensured Success? Ignorance can be blissful sometimes, just not Helpful in any meaningful way...
In not-so-blissful ignorance about a condition right now... Dawn... The Bohemian