Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Unlike A Fine Wine

 



Sorry... it's a Two-Fer and I caved at Scheduling it for Tomorrow instead!  Because... well... I'm Bored as Hell and never got out of my Jammies all Day Today.  I Feel quite a bit like the Meme below actually, I'm rather a Hot Mess!  T.J. also cancelled on taking The Man on that Guy's Day Out, he'd so been looking forward to it, so I Hate when that happens.  He'd been talking about it for Days and I do Hope that the re-scheduling works out or he'll be really bummed.  So, I'm trying to think of what to do that might cheer him up and not make the day a total bust for him now?   But... I got Nothing... and so a total bust it is!



  Of coarse Yesterday we had a full Family Day Out together, but I understand that the Guy's Day Out for him is as important as the Girl's Day Out for Princess T and I.   T.J. has all the Recreational Vehicles that The Man used to have and so Sharing that with The Man is something I can't do, we got rid of all that after his Catastrophic Accident since he couldn't use it himself anymore.   There were numerous tough decisions that had to be made Post-Accident, for him and for the rest of us, it was all quite overwhelming and we muddled thru it as best we could at the time.  I can't say I was 100% on making the Wisest decisions, but I tried.




The cost of Recreational Vehicles and Maintaining them being prohibitive, I unloaded it all when he wasn't going to get Well enough to ever Drive anything again.  It was just a Painful reminder of what he could no longer do and had lost when he got so badly permanently injured.   T.J. doesn't keep most of his Recreational Vehicles, he buys those that need work, fixes them up, and re-sells them.  So, he tries them all out before he puts them up for Sale again and often invites The Man to do the Test Runs with him, which they both enjoy tremendously.   They're both like Big Kids with those Man Toys, I think most Men are when it comes to their Recreational Vehicles.  *LOL*




I'm pretty sure T.J. will take him, he's just had some personal issues pop up that required him to attend to first... Life happens.   He did tell The Man that Anna is probably coming back, glad to hear that, she probably just needed a break from RV Living.   The Pandemic has been rough on them, like it has for so many others that lost employment and housing during it.   Plus, I'm sure that Maine was a lot Cooler and more Liberating than living in an RV in someone's Driveway in the Heat of a Record Breaking Arizona Summer.   T.J. has had so much going on with his ailing Elderly Parents too, who live next door to us, they're both in their 80's now and Independent Living for them may not be possible too much longer.




They have a bigger Home on their Acreage than we do and lots more to Maintain, so T.J. and his Older Brother Rob, who lives with the Parents, have a lot to do and to sort out as this progresses with the Parents.   Been there, done that, don't envy them that task and those difficult decisions that I'm almost certain their Parents are strongly resisting.   The Dad particularly is a Proud Old Farmer who has been very hands-on up thru his 80's and the strong Patriarch of the Family.  When you see your once strong Dad deteriorating rapidly and becoming a Vulnerable Adult, that is never easy and can create tensions during their decline that previously didn't exist.




Their Mom is one of those strong and vibrant Independent Women clear into her 80's, who cooks everything from scratch, active in her Church Ladies Groups, and was also the strong Matriarch of the Family.   Their Parents are adorable and the Guys are fortunate both Parents stayed so fiercely Independent and Able up thru their 80's.   But now they're taking lots of Falls, having serious Health complications and lengthy Hospitalizations and Rehabilitation.  Both did manage to be able to come back Home, but if Rob and T.J. were not so present and available, Rob in the Home and T.J. right next door living in the RV in our Driveway, I doubt either Parent would still be able to be living from Home.  T.J. is declining Job Offers in other States due to his Parents needing him here.




The fact is, both Rob and T.J. are no longer Spring Chickens either, tho' both are very strong and active still, they've got their own Age related stuff setting in, as it just happens when you Age.   Anna is much Younger than T.J., so I think at her Season of Life it's all rather scary and perhaps even terrifying for her to be confronted with all of this strain?   I know just Witnessing what their Family is now going thru brings The Man and I to the realization that our Kids probably fear all the same stuff eventually happening to us here?   As it is, Dad/Grandpa requires the full time Caregiving and has his obvious limitations they would have to inherit if God Forbid, something happens to me first.




When The Son invited me to the recent Luncheon, he did bring up some stuff that obviously he's concerned about, especially with his Dad and the Kidney Failure situation.   Yes, we've been thru a lot of Stuff with his Dad's Health and Disabilities over the Years, so we're not New... but, it's never easy when it's just one more thing.   And, now I'm not 100% anymore and all the Adult Kids and Adult Grandkids know this, I keep things 100% and transparent for them, no facades, tho' most days they think I'm doing just Fine, sometimes I'm not and it's a bit of an illusion that I appear to be.   Anyway, Growing Old usually beats the alternative, Right?   Unlike a Fine Wine, I don't know I've improved with Aging tho'!   Whaddya gonna do?  *LOL*




Lately I've been browsing Old Photo Archives of Events that Used To Be and Are No More, being all Teary Eyed Nostalgic about it and Grieving what has been Lost.  We've just Lost so many great Venues and Places over the past few Years, even before Pandemic struck and put a Death Knell on so many others.  Most of these Images in this Post are from several Years ago at Events and Shows I used to attend Religiously and still would if they were still in existence, but, they're not.  I see how much Inventory used to be on the Market then that is not now.  Now you really have to Hunt for authentic stuff since the vast majority of what's being offered up anymore is Mass Produced or just New and readily available damned near anywhere, since everyone is doing it.




I don't embrace those Changes as well as I probably just should and Move On.  I Miss too much of what Once Was you see, and long for those times to return, which they won't, I'm fairly certain of that now.   And hey, Listen, mebbe now they wouldn't even make it or be struggling to?   Times have changed, people have changed, Trends have changed, it's all ever Evolving and in a constant state of flux and renewal, especially in the Retail settings.  Shops and Shows have had to keep Pace with the times, such that they just are now, I Get It, I just don't Like it very much, that's all.   Are all Old people kinda that way I wonder, struggling to keep Pace?  *Ha ha ha*  I would like some shit to just remain the same and constant... SOME... Okay?!   Is that too much to ask?  *LOL*




You don't even have to answer that, apparently it is too much to ask or some things would be the same and not ALL of it have to change all of the freakin' time and at a breakneck Pace!   I dunno, when I was Growing Up, it seemed to me that tho' there were Changes going on, they went at a slower Pace of Evolution, so, mostly you could keep Pace, have sufficient Time to adjust, embrace it all more easily because you got to take a Breath, you know?   On the Inside I don't Feel any different than I ever did in my Youth actually, but I realize I do come from a different Generation than is running the Show right now and they want what they want and they want it quickly and differently to the point of stimulus overload!




I mean Seriously, the Condition now seems to be the current Environment presents too many Stimuli to be comfortably Processed by any Individual.  I think this causes considerable stress and behaviors designed to restore your equilibrium and get some Balance.   The Sensory overload can be a bit much at times, when everything has Changed and will Change again before you get your Balance back.  Or have a firm grasp or footing on what Just Was and will be irrelevant in a Minute, as the Next New Best Thing is rolled out and forced upon us to embrace, replace and dispose of everything else or shut it down.    I can do it, under protest tho', I don't Like it, I don't even Pretend to Like it most of the time and I can become part of the Resistance.




No, I do not want to replace my perfectly functional, yet now obsolete, Smart Phone with the ridiculously expensive one that does everything but wipe my Ass.  The one that will break more easily and be obsolete too in a few Months anyway, before I even learn how to work it, if I ever do!?   So we'll be repeating this vicious Cycle of Tech Advancement and buying into the Disposable Society Mentality constantly, until we're financially broke and broken down too into Addictive Consumer Junkies, craving the next Fix, Jonesin' for what's Next before we've even had Time to enjoy what's just been replaced.  It's all Addictive by Design and I don't wanna be an Addict involuntarily... bad enough when you're one voluntarily!  And then we Wonder why folks are such Fiends... well... Hell... in this Environment could they even Be anything else??!!!




That last Paragraph was SUPPOSED to be the End of this Mindless Post, but I'm still Bored and still in my Jammies... and it's Evening again now and I am trying to avoid dumping Two Posts a Day on you Dear Readers!   Out of consideration for you and for the 1st Post, so it can get read and not buried right away in the Archived Posts.  *LOL*   That's not working out so well for me while I'm avoiding doing other things around here that should get Done, but I'm trying to Ignore because I'm too worn down and worn out to bother.  After the Family Day Out, which was full and Fun, I need another whole Day apparently to Recover!  I don't usually Feel Elderly, but THAT makes me Feel Elderly lemme tell ya!  *LOL*






Just the Fact that apparently now I can have too much Fun is kinda Pathetic and demoralizing!  *Le Sigh*  The Man got the results Today on his 2nd set of Labs and tho' his Diabetic Readings were fantastic, his Kidneys are still Failing.  Still, he did more than me Today, Bless him, and was a whole lot more animated and Cheerful too, even after the grim news from his Docs again!   Him relaying said grim news to me didn't improve my Mood much either lemme tell ya!  I had no Words really, I mean, what CAN you say?   So I came up with the Lame, "Well, your Mom lived to be 90 with Kidney Disease Honey..."   Of coarse the obvious omission of his Dad Dying at 64 from Organ Failure was the unmentioned Elephant left farting in the Room.  The Man will be 70 in February, so perhaps Family History comparisons shouldn't be made at all!?







My Doc hasn't called about my delayed Labs at all, perhaps the Base Clinic has never updated her?  I just dunno and kinda don't wanna know either, unless it's gonna be Good News now... which I kinda doubt.   I'd like to Imagine at least that I'm Healthier than I probably actually am.   I have a very fertile Imagination that way, so I Think... so I Am.   So, mostly I try not to even Think about it and Imagine everything is just Swell.  *LOL*   So, also, that means I NEED to Blog and Write... even when I have absolutely nothing relevant to say and am Imagining my Fingertips will just pull something relevant, clever and profound out of thin air... coz it sure as shit ain't coming out of my Head, that's for sure!  *Le Sigh*   Do I Feel another Blue Funk coming on... I dunno... perhaps... no pleasant distractions or good Company to keep it at bay.






The Man said if I Feel like I need to go out... go out... only problem is, I don't even wanna get out of my Jammies and I can't go like this!  *Winks*  Plus, Honestly, nowhere to really go that is Calling to me, frankly.   Anything Outside is out of the question, too Hot and Humid... and I don't want to go Shopping or to spend Money on Retail Therapy, so unless it's something necessary I know it isn't Needed.   The Man went out and fed our Wild Birds for like the 3rd time Today because now they're bringing all their Friends.   Bully Bird Dove still shows up and Lords over the whole flock, he's such a Character that Bird... always looking for a Fight and some Conflict he is!  Even when he has more Seed than he can Eat, he doesn't want anyone else to have it that might still be Hungry... sounds like some Humans, huh?  I can only find the Humor in it tho' when it's a Stupid, Greedy and Aggressive, but Adorable Little Bird...






*******


Just Tired and unlike a Fine Wine, being Served Up and Celebrated... I just sometimes Feel we're considered disposable too, all of us... 
Dawn... The Bohemian



5 comments:

  1. I know T.J. didn't make an empty promise to take your husband out but when I was caregiving a lot of people would do that to husband. The Hollywood "Maybe I'll stop by Sunday" would have him up, dressed and waiting by the door all day. I just hated it when people would do that, not understanding that many brain damaged people see things in blacks and whites and no amount of logic can sway them. Anyway, all that is to say that I really understand the stress you were under when T.C. canceled. T.C. sounds like a nice and compassionate person, by the way.

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    1. Yes, The Man behaves much like you described your Dear Husband when someone makes a Promise, empty or otherwise. It is very much like what happens with Children when someone Promises something and then doesn't deliver, they're so excited with heightened expectations and then crushed when it doesn't happen or the Promise is broken. T.J. did re-schedule and then had to cancel that date {today} too. His Mom has to go to the Doctor and Rob couldn't take her so he had to step up and ensure she got to the necessary appointment. The Man does understand that they are accommodating elderly Parents in failing Health, but I can tell he's now a bit fed up with Two Cancellations when he got his expectations up so high and got himself prepared to go twice now. So he's telling me he no longer wants to go at all... so I really do Hope that T.J. does not re-schedule again. Better he say nothing and Surprise The Man on a Morning when it can actually happen without incident derailing it. Men can get ready on the turn of a Dime, mine especially, so that would just be better. He really misses the companionship of other Guys and yet I find Men are less likely to want the burden of someone they have to kind of be sacrificial when with. You are right, T.J. is kind and compassionate, but he does sometimes promise what he can't deliver and isn't as absolute as The Man is about a 'maybe we'll...'.

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    2. The Man? T.J.? Catastrophic accident?

      Nothing wrong with taking a day to hang out in your jammies. I do it regularly.

      I'm not one to replace each tech item with the newest toy. It seems so pointless because they're all out of date 5 minutes after acquiring them.

      Love,
      Janie

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    3. The Man is my better half, he had a Catastrophic Accident about 8 Years ago that damaged both sides of his Brain and he shouldn't have survived. He's a tough Old Marine and tho' they pretty much sent him Home to be a Vegetable, The G-Kid Force and I did our own rehabilitation methods we just made up and he's come along miraculously well in spite of the grim prognosis/diagnosis given by the Experts. T.J. is our elderly Neighbors Adult Son who lives in his RV in our Driveway so he can be near his ailing Parents, they are a Wonderful Family and been such a Blessing to us since we moved in last February... so we're trying to be a Blessing to them as they move thru some Hard Knocks Life situations too. I like my Jammie Days of doing Nothing, I could get very used to it. I don't replace anything until it wears out or breaks.

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  2. Eli's coming.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A2eet1bttY&ab_channel=JJCANE2

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl