Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Let's Go Crazy!!! Some Exposure!!!



My British Blog Friend Joey, of JOEY'S PAD gave me a Laugh when he updated his Profile Pix wearing a Mask, so I shameless stole borrowed the Idea, because couldn't we all use some Levity right about now my Friends?!  Don't it bring out the Blue in my Eyes!?!!  *Bwahahahaha!*  It's actually an old one that Princess T found while unpacking her belongings, that her Pulmonary Specialist gave her Years ago, and she generously gave to me for when I have to venture out for our necessities and Risk my Life doing so. 




As you can see it took me a couple Frames to get a Selfie Centered enough since I SUCK at The Selfie!  *Winks*  Princess T was playing with this Mask to make us Laugh and then we thought upon it, as being the ONLY Face Mask we own, being potentially more Useful than as a Gag Prop right now!  *Winks*  As you can see, I'm still schlepping about Daily not Dressed, not wearing Make-Up and my Dreads all Crazy!  Let's Go Crazy has been our Mantra during this Pandemic Sheltering In Place situation... since the whole damned World has gone Crazy it seems!




I was very Emotional Today, so after about 2 Hours worth of time spent this Morning unpacking and breaking down the empty Boxes, I told The Man I had to stop.  Not because of Physical exhaustion so much as Mental exhaustion and just being overly Emotional, I was on the verge of Tears. Which could be a combination of not Sleeping well, Coping with the Pandemic, not knowing if I'll be able to get my necessary Diabetic Meds or have to do without them and try not to Die or have worse consequences and complications, like Body parts falling off if it's not being Managed or having slow Organ Failure?!? 




 Dying would of coarse be preferable to that, some things you don't want to limp away from if it involves intense long term Suffering and even more Personal Hardship!   I have found the Meditative Qualities in the Caregiving... and now seem more Patient with The Man and Princess T, since clearly this is a more Stressful situation for them to Cope with and they weren't that great at Emotional Regulation to begin with!  *LOL*  I recall my Dear Ole' Stoic Dad always Maintaining his Calm and that always brought me Comfort, even as an Adult.  Dad never had Panic, he Coped exceedingly Well with anything and everything Life threw at him.  I want to Mirror that Predictable Calmness and Strength for my Loved Ones depending upon me, especially during difficult times.




For the first few Days of Forced Isolation under Protest, Princess T bounced around on her Trampoline for exercise, that the previous Owners so generously left for us.   Then she scoured the entire Acreage for any lingering Pecans that had fallen off those Mature Pecan Trees behind our Property, so the Nut Bowl is full again.  We have given away a great deal of the Harvested Pecans, Sharing with Friends who are more inclined to Bake during Voluntary Social Distancing than I would.  *Smiles*  The Property is Manicured within an inch of it's Life now that we have not much else to do but tidy and clean up shit obsessively!  *LOL*   Housekeeping is not usually my Jam, but I'm a lot more Suzy Homemaker when all I can do is sequester at Home and think up things to do that will get my Mind off of things I don't wanna dwell upon or think about!  




The Good News was the Asst. Manager of our Antique Mall called and said he'll be mailing me a Check, so it was good to know that giving up my Shifts and that last Fortnight of the Mall being Open, I still earned one!  *Happy Dance!*  They will continue to be Closed as a Non-Essential Business and will graciously continue to suspend Rents.  *Whew!* I really didn't wanna have to go in and Close out my Spaces, pack a bunch of shit and find somewhere to put it here!  We were willing to hawk the Playground Set that the previous Owners so generously left for us, for added Income.  Princess T is too Old for it and a few Neighbors expressed Interest, tho' right now nobody is buying anything that is Non-Essential, so we'll see how that Plays Out?  Whoever buys it will have to take it down and transport it as part of the Deal and Agreement we reach with a Buyer.  New, this Model sells for well over a Grand, I'll be Happy to get a Hundred or so for it to go to a Family that could still Enjoy it. 




Princess T was out Front on the Driveway at 5:00 in the Morning drawing Cheerful Art... she's had trouble Sleeping... takes a lot of Daytime Naps and then stays up all Night long unable to Sleep.  I know that she's struggling with the Isolation and Loneliness, the Fears and Changes the Pandemic has caused to her Normal Routine.  For people with Special Needs a Routine is crucial and if interrupted, it throws them off to where establishing an altered version of one is almost impossible!  For now I allow her to Nap when she CAN manage some Sleep and stay up when she CANNOT, it makes for less Meltdowns and added Stress that can be avoided in the Caregiving Dept... both hers and mine!  *Winks*  No, I haven't actually had any Epic Meltdowns, I've held it down and kept it together for their Sakes, but on the Inside, I do feel close to the Edge sometimes lately!  My Stoic Countenance belies that I could go Wheels Off The Rails... so don't Push me coz I'm close to The Edge, I'm trying not to lose my Head!  {Cue in Grand Master Flash "The Message"... LOL}




At least I'm Encouraged that she's drawing Cheerful Optimistic Art and not anything that would Concern me!  *Whew!*  The Man has been having Nightmares of being Tortured by some Enemy and so his PTSD has been really Off The Hook Bad and keeping him Awake Nights, on Patrol!   Calming him and telling him it's not REALLY Wartime and he's Safe and we're all going to be Okay kinda rings hollow because I don't really Believe that myself so it's difficult to muster Credibility to my empty Words.  So, instead I finally said, Listen, you know I'd kick anyone's Ass and go Mental on them if they tried to hurt you or Princess T, so Trust that I'm a good Line of Defense.  Plus, seriously, even as an Old Man, you're my more than adequate Special Forces Trained Back-Up, so as a Tag Team, we can defeat any Human Enemy that tries to cross this Threshold, with perhaps the exception of a damned Virus we can't see.  He mulled that over and finally quit Patrolling for an Unseen Enemy and Mercifully went to Sleep!  *Whew!*




During Waking Hours I try to keep him Busy or sitting Outside enjoying Nature and Sunshine, so that he won't be Losing It.  I really don't Need him having either a Medical or a Mental Health Crisis right about now, or a Meltdown I can't Mange, so I've ORDERED him to hold it down and keep it together Marine!  He is a Man who follows Orders without Questioning them.  *Whew!*   Thankfully we are a Trio that co-exists together Harmoniously, I Fear that a lot of Families might not have that kind of dynamic and thus spending too much time together for them might be a huge strain?  I worry about increases in Domestic Violence, being Retired from our Local DA's Office, I've seen the tragic results of DV and under intense Pressure and Hardships, that is bound to increase even tho' nobody is talking about it much... yet.  Not everyone's Home is their Safe Haven and Sanctuary, not everyone's Family is their Friend or Protector, just sayin'.




I am beyond Thankful that for us, it is our Sanctuary and Safe Haven, that I have a Spouse who would Die for his Family and do everything within his Power to keep us Protected and Provided for.  I think his vulnerability as an almost 70 Year Old Man in ill health with extreme Physical Disability and Brain Damage, makes him feel like he isn't as adept at it anymore.  But I know in a crunch or a Crisis, I wouldn't want anyone else to have my Back, I Trust him completely.  And he knows I'll go Balls to the Wall for any of my Loved Ones too, Physically I have limitations in my Old Age, but Trust and Believe I'm Mental enough to compensate for that!  




 Got that from my Mom, she was a Force to be reckoned with clear up into her 80's, and even with full blown Dementia she could throw a Mean Punch and take a Fool out!  *Winks*  I was thinking upon how Glad I am that both of my Parents have Crossed Over before all of this, since Dad's last Days were in Hospice and Mom's last Years in a Nursing Home and then Hospice, all of which wouldn't be Idyllic Placements right now to check up on them regularly and keep them Safe!




And now, are you ready for some Exposure my Friends?!?  No, I haven't gone so Crazy yet as to Strip Off and do any Streaking or Soft Senior Porn Online to make a Buck *Winks*... but I mean Exposing the Horror that is presently the RV Garage's State!  Seriously, it's like a Rat's Maze at the Moment with Crates and Boxes piled about 10 Foot High in some areas!  Oddly, the Clutter isn't Freaking me Out and has actually made me feel Safer and more Secure as I meander down the tight Aisles of my Stuff, Insulated from the Outside World in there.




  Perhaps that is why some of us Hoard, I'm not Sure... along with Trauma and Poor Coping Mechanisms.  *LOL*  I just know I could do with a LOT LESS shit and I'm working that out Daily now.  I've unpacked and sorted thru more during Sheltering In Place than I might have in YEARS otherwise!  The Man almost never engages in assisting me with it all but he has since we've been in forced Voluntary Isolation.  *Booyah!*




I think it's been therapeutic and beneficial to him to Assist me with My Problem, such that it Clearly is!  *LMAO*  None of this is as a result of him, I take full Ownership of being the one that has Hoarded Up my Found Treasures and been the ultimate Maximalist for Years now!  *Le Sigh*  He wouldn't have required an enormous RV Garage, his Worldly Cherished Possessions could fit in a Military Duffel Bag and a Box marked "Knives"!  *LOL*  




 True Confession... I am the Sole one my Heirs will be Cursing when I Cross Over and leave them with whatever is left that I haven't managed to dispose of or decided was Keeper shit!  They will surely be asking WHY did Mom/Gramma keep all this shit?!?!  *Sorry Kids and Grands!*  I don't know that they will View it as their Inheritance and Money in the Bank... tho' they could spend a Lifetime on E-Bay hawking this shit for a tidy Profit as Passive Income flow.  *Smiles*  We're Assuming of coarse everything eventually returns to Normal and people won't just be buying excessive amounts of Toilet Paper and Hand Sanitizer with their Income?!?  *Le Sigh*




Princess T was already pointing out which Antique Dress Form she'd want if, Heaven Forbid... you know... just in case... coz you ARE High Risk Gramma!  *Bwahahahahaha!*  It's none of these, she's got dibs on the One I have in the Diningroom now with a slew of Antique Irish Horn Rosaries adorning it.  She was Gracious enough to say she'd split the Rosaries with Siblings and other Relatives, how Charitable of her!  *Bwahahahaha!*   I found it completely Amusing since she wasn't trying to be Funny!  *LOL*




I didn't Personalize the Conversation, our Kids used to do that all the time when growing up, it seems to be something they Fantasize about and freely acknowledge, but don't actually want to happen, what they'd get when we Croak and they have to sort out in our Wake?!?  To be Fair, I wouldn't want to Inherit this Mess... my own Parent's shit was more than enough of an Estate to Deal with during a time of Grief!  And this is Why I'm trying to Downsize considerably with whatever Time we have left?!  This Space used to be 10 Feet High and Wide with Boxes just Days ago, so we are making Progress!




We still haven't located the Pole for the sliding Ladder to the Bookcase, but it is now filled with Books I unpacked during the past Two Days!  The Good Thing was, Books unpack and found a Placement quickly, so we cleared out a large area that they were Boxed up in way in the Back of the RV Garage!  I have more Books than "Barnes & Noble" have in their Decorating Section and Cookbook Section {and I don't even really Cook!  LMAO}!!!   But, mebbe during all of this Sheltering, I might begin becoming some Culinary Goddess or something... only with an Electric Stove and Oven, I Seriously doubt it!  *LOL* 




Now I know why my Master Chef Dad HATED Electric Stoves and never owned one and advised me never to own one either!  The Man is an excellent Cook and he's now able to use the Kitchen without Supervision so long as he follows his Safety Prompts, and even he Hates how long it takes to Heat Up and then Cool Down with an Electric Stove!  You just can't regulate the Heat as efficiently as with Gas so it takes forever to get things to the right Temperatures and you sometimes burn shit if it stays Hot on the Burner too long after turning it Off!  So for now we're Learning how to Cook on Electricity and adjust our habits!  *Smiles*




None of this is as it will be... but I do have some Pockets here and there which are Semi-Decorated with what will perhaps occupy those Corners.  I'll be tweaking the Styling and Vignettes after everything is finally unpacked, sorted and I'm more decisive about Placement... or if it must GO!?   I am already filling some Boxes with Donation items and For Sale items that will be Labeled as such and disposed of after the Pandemic's Virus Time Line allows for that to Exit Stage Left Snagglepuss Style!   Perhaps once the RV Garage is emptied out more where I can Envision what should Occupy it, more will be Kept to give it a sense of being an extended Living Space.  It is not Air Conditioned tho', and even with the Doors of it Opened right now, I have no delusions that in the Heat of an Arizona Summer, this isn't some place you'll be able to hang out in Comfortably!




With being an enormous Space with enormously high Ceiling, it's difficult to take Editorial Images in also, the Light just diffuses too much in such a vast Space that is Warehouse sized!   But those high Ceiling also keep it Cooler than your Average Space too... so I might be pleasantly Surprised that most of the Year it will be Comfortable enough to use as more than just Storage Space?  It is a She Shed to be Envied, I'd of bought this Property just for this RV Garage because it filled a Need I didn't think I'd have the Privilege of having while Downsizing our actual Forever Home!




   I'm really Enjoying having LESS Home to Maintain, this Home is just the right size for me.  It isn't really small at about 2,400 square feet, but is much Smaller than previous Two Properties we Owned.  And Downsizing to half the size it Epic, lemme tell ya! The Historic Home being about 2,000 sf Plus 3 Cottages that were about 900 sf each and numerous Outbuildings for Storage... and Villa Boheme' being 4,350 sf.  Yeah, I've been Spoiled Rotten in the last couple Decades, I ain't gonna lie... but I have lived in less than 300 sf before and been Homeless, so I know both Extremes of Too Much and Not Enough!  Too Much is better than Not Enough... but Just Enough is far BETTER... just sayin'!




In a Perfect World I would've had Enough Vintage Suitcases to pack everything up in, coz they look Stellar and Pleasing to the Eyes even not unpacked!  I could have ignored or put off the unpacking if everything were in Towers of these!  *LOL*   Even the Towers of Old Milk Crates don't bother me... but the Boxes... that could make me Crazy over Time.  I was Fortunate to glean all of our Boxes and not have to pay for any Packing Boxes, so that saved a lot of Money during the Move.




 Most being from out behind the Liquor Store, so it looks as tho' raging Alcoholics live here... which is Ironic given that neither The Man or I drinks!  *LOL*  I'm Keeping a few of the more Interesting Labeled Boxes that just make me Smile and using those for any Inventory Storage I might Need later.  We gleaned most Boxes during the Holidays so there were some Seasonal Liquors and Beers with Insane Graphics on the Boxes that we got!  Not to mention the Hood Hook-Up of all those Candy Liqueurs... which I handed out to a slew of people who Helped me with The Move or gave me Hood Hook-Ups that made it more affordable.




Affordability is something this Home won't offer since it was a damned expensive purchase and at the top end of our Budget, but worth it.  Homes in the Inner City were way more expensive and for a lot less Property... or even wrecks of Property that needed a complete Renovation!   This Location was Ideal, in our Old Neighborhood Stomping Grounds {but a better Area of it with lower Crime}, but in one of the few remaining Areas of Mini Farm Properties with Grandfathered Irrigation Rights and NO HOA, that Subdivision Hells hadn't replaced and gobbled up!  *Whew!*  You know how I feel about HOA and Planned Community Subdivision Hell don'tcha, they're The Devil and devouring the Land and our Freedom of Choice NOT to live that way!?  *Bwahahaha!*




It IS kinda Ironic that FINALLY getting our Freedom back, now we're having to Self Impose NOT having Freedom due to a damned Virus, isn't it?!  *Le Sigh*  Now being close to EVERYTHING, we can't use most of it!  *Double Sigh*  So that kinda pissed on our Picnic of properly Enjoying our New Community fully just barely a Month after Moving here!  *Triple Sigh!*  But, it's STILL better than living in Rural Subdivision Hell in a Community I absolutely loathed and wasn't near a damned thing and with NOTHING to do and Socially Deprived! 




 I would have lost my damned Mind if I'd of been Sheltering In Place at Villa Boheme' with Neighbors that could give Two shits about each other and are barely Cordial at Best, and Pretentious and Controlling at Worst!  Or stuck after it Sold and before I got this Bought or Moved In here, with Mandatory Sheltering Orders by the State and nothing Moved or a place not yet Bought!  I'm Thankful we Escaped just in the nick of Time and got Settled In!  *Whew!*




*******

Blessings, Love and Light... Dawn... The Bohemian

6 comments:

  1. Wow...that was a trip down the whole spectrum of emotions. I was right there with you while I every word you wrote. A few times you even brought tears to my eyes, but I particularly liked it when you brought a smile to my face. Those times were the best. Those times are what gets us through these agonizing days. When I need moments of zen, I simply go sit in my backyard and bask in the sunshine and listen to the beautiful birds sing. Of course, I usually bring a little weed with me and have some background mood music playing. I guess I don't rattle easy either...I never have. With the exception of Donald Trump and he does aggravate me, I'm able to pretty much just chill.

    I guess staying busy helps and from the pictures you posted you've got you're fair share of work to do for quite some time to come. I like to work outside. I like to paint and do crafts. I have a garden. I have herbs. I have flowers. I feeds the birds (I say I feed the birds, but the squirrels think they're birds). My dogs keep my company...OMG...they are a hoot! And a have a neighbor who has been with me right from the start through this. She lives next-door. I know, I know...social distancing and all that, but we've been through thick and thin together and we grew up together. We lived next door to each other in Maine and have known each other since we were 4 years old. Sixty years later we live next door to each other in Florida and we're like sisters....no, we are sisters and to hell with social distancing. Neither one of us goes anywhere so unless a butterfly carries the coronavirus I think we're probably safe...

    I enjoyed you're post and thank you for visiting my blog. Take care and stay safe!

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    1. I was delighted to find your Blog, you have such a sharp sense of Humor and so do many of your Blog Friends who comment, I Laughed 'til I almost spilled my drink on the keyboard! I needed that right now, and your Words were sweet about the read for this post and you are right... there's much to do and much to enjoy even while Sheltering In Place. I have a Mental pix of you sitting out back with some of the Good Kush and enjoying Bird Song now! *LOL* My Grandson I raised, tho' grown now, always said his Friends in High School always assumed his Gramma knew where to get the Good Kush becoz I have Dreads, that always cracked the both of us up. Yes, 45 aggravates a great many of us with his arrogance, ignorance and sociopath ways... otherwise I'm pretty Chill too. Hope to see you again!

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  2. Glad to see what you're dealing with in the R.V. Building. But Oh it's going to be gorgeous when you are able to sit it up!

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    1. I think so too Marlynne, but CLEARLY a lot of purging and Selling Off must still happen! *LOL* That's Okay, that supplemental income from Selling Off excess will be important since I had to give up my Shifts due to being high risk to work with the Public during a Pandemic.

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  3. Gotta love when a plan(non-plan) comes together. I can see your huge progress in the Rv building, and the home is looking so nice. Still quirky here and there, but with a calmness that you were searching for. It is amazing what green does to a home...real or faux. Keep on trekking, and good luck on the meds...you really need to have them! Sandi

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    1. The Specialist approved a Year's worth of refills which is a huge relief even if she cannot see me that regularly in person. My numbers have been pretty decent even with the elevated stress the Pandemic has caused. The exercise of working in the RV Garage has made up for the shifts I had to give up at the Antique Mall, where 3 times a Week I used to traverse a 55,000 sf space for 4 Hours a Shift. That was 12 Hours of Walking that I no longer do Weekly so I needed a fall back exercise regimen and unpacking is more like a Gym Workout with Weights. *LOL* The Senior Fall was a sideliner in that I still cannot use my Left Arm very well due to the Shoulder injury, so when the Pandemic is over and they're taking other Patients again I'll have to get an Appointment to check it out... can't right now, they're not taking non-emergencies at all.

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A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

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