Thursday, August 15, 2019

The Mind Of An ADHD Senior



Even tho' I've had nothing to do but housekeeping, I've had loads to write about and say, my racing thoughts being what they just are sometimes!  The Mind of an ADHD Senior never seems to slow down like the rest of us does in the Aging Process!   A Creative pursuit or Meditation helps to Calm the racing thoughts, so does pricing Princess T's small Collectibles for her Antique Mall Booth.  I'm down now to only one Tub of LPS to price, it's been an epic Project to ready all of her Inventory Smalls for Sale, but therapeutic so I've needed the activity of it.




You might be wondering why she doesn't write out the tickets herself since she's involved in the rest of her Educational Retail Hobby?   Well, poor Child struggles with both Reading and Writing to a degree {she can barely do either}, that it would be torturous for both of us, so I took over that part of it as her Minion for a change.  She's always been enthusiastic about being mine and so Helpful during my Eight Years at the Antique Mall, so I'm now returning the Favor.  She's been able to Work like an Adult Employee since she could practically Walk, Voluntarily dived in to any Work Project we had going on, to the best of her abilities.  




Sometimes I stand in Awe of what she can get done and how quickly and efficiently, since she's just a Child and most Adults would be hard pressed to do as good a job of it, whatever "it" is she's doing!   Seems to be a Natural Talent of hers to be meticulously Organized and Efficient when she wants to be and to be a Natural Born Stylist.  Those are her strengths, academics her weakness, I guess nobody can have it all, so we'll play to her strengths.  She wishes she were better academically, she tries so hard and has had to endure much failure in the academic realm.  But she is really Smart, so it is more a Learning Disability barrier at Processing and Retention.




Processing and Retention... we all do that in varying degrees and we all Learn in our own specific ways, don't we?   I never was one to Learn by Reading some manual, but Visually Learning by watching anything being done, I could pick up very quickly.   The Man is quite the opposite, it doesn't make one way Right and one way Wrong... just makes it Different Learning Styles and how we're hard wired to Learn.  For those of us who are Hyper, it can be torturous to try to sit still or to pay attention too long, our attention span being minuscule unless you can engage it effectively for longer.




I've sometimes been unable to get thru a brief Meeting with some of the Kiddos more boring Teachers without zoning out or shutting down as they're droning on, so I can see why the Child would have trouble getting thru that Class and paying rapt attention!  *LOL*   Any situation you dread and would rather not even be there just intensifies your inability to concentrate or endure.  So I can relate to any situation my Child(ren) might be in that they're not thriving in, can't keep up with nor having adequate understanding about and failing at.  Princess T likes School even tho' it's always been very hard for her, except in Special Ed Classes where she has thrived and succeeded in being a Star Student and standing out in Positive ways rather than Negative ones.




She comes home from 8th Grade Classes and takes very long Naps each day, so I know it's draining her physically, emotionally and mentally.   So when we do anything together, I try to make it Fun and Enjoyable, so she can just be a Kid in the doing of it and with no Adult pressure.   Home can be where she relaxes and unwinds after a difficult or hard day at School, most of the time she doesn't even choose to Play, because she's choosing Rest voluntarily... that's very telling to me.   When your 13 Year Old is voluntarily taking and even needing long Naps like a Toddler, they're pretty spent.




She's pretty stoic about School and how it's going when I ask, she will give me the Hand in the air going back and forth in the So-So movement as her response.   If she doesn't have Homework, isn't enduring Bullying or getting into Trouble, then we don't discuss it further since clearly she'd rather not.   If she relays to me that she's doing her Best that is all I can ask of her.  If her Best isn't Good Enough, we'll address that at the next IEP they Schedule or any Emergency IEP that I will Schedule... that's just how it goes for her Academically and by now we're used to it.   Socially School is only slightly better for her since she has Social Anxieties, but the Friends she has are one's she's been very selective of and spends a great deal of time with.




One of my Blog Friends recently wrote a profound Post HERE about being "Unconsciously in Control".   One thing she mentioned in the Post that really resonated with me personally was:  For most of my life I had minimal control over what problem happened next, and maximum responsibility for resolving it.   Now for anyone whose Life doesn't roll out like that in Epic ways, you might not have to ever simply Shut Down consciously and default to allowing your Unconscious Mind to take over and give you a break.   My Unconscious Mind has saved me from burning out and keeping up a pace that wouldn't be reasonable for any Human Being to maintain for long without breaking down and having massive burnout.




I've also defaulted to Sleep a LOT lately, kind of like Princess T when spent or overwhelmed by Life, such that it is, being able to Shut Down in Rest Mode is critical.   I'm fortunate to have taken Retirement early and been able to focus upon what personal problems and Crisis our Family faced and I became Matriarch over.   Tho' economically a huge transition, challenge and strain, I couldn't have juggled my demanding high pressure Corporate Careers with a lot of the Happenings since Retirement that became my maximum responsibility and I had minimal, if any, control over. 




 In those Corporate Lives there was a lot of responsibility, massive volume of work and stress too, being the Negative high volume Fields of Work they just were:  Banking Foreclosures/Collections/Bankruptcies of defaulted Real Property in Corporate Life No. One... and at the DA's Office Criminal Law in a very large County {Maricopa, AZ} in Corporate Life No. Two.   I did enjoy the Challenges of both Careers and did very well in them, I enjoyed having a good income from each too... the Income is all I miss tho'.  *LOL*  I'm so glad that unlike many Men who Retire, most Women don't define themselves exclusively by whatever they did to earn a Living and thus end up Lost after Retirement!   I would say I Lost my Personal Self more thru Caregiving than any Job or Career, you become so entwined in the Lives of those you are Caregiver of that where you end and they begin becomes a blur and not so defined anymore.




  I often mull over what Life might have looked like had I pursued Artistic pursuits and Passions instead as a Career Path?   Thus, my Home became my Canvas to express myself Creatively.   You see, I was never Passionate about Banking or Criminal Law.  I was considerably Successful at it... they just paid very well as Career choices, especially Banking, not so much Prosecution in the Criminal Law end of it since the money maker is in Defense... and your Star could rise quickly in each as a Female in the Corporate World.  During my Era that last part was critical and important, it was a Good Ole Boy Network in Corporate America for the most part and a lot of gender discrimination and sexual harassment ran rampant thru the 70's-80's Eras.  As the ole Cigarette Commercial used to say... We've come a long way Baby!  *Winks*




Having enjoyed considerable Corporate Success one might think I would have advised my Children and Grandchildren to follow in similar footsteps... I DID NOT!  In fact, quite the opposite, I told them to follow their Individual PASSIONS and pursue their DREAMS instead, the reward might or might not be as Financially rewarding... but chasing the Benjamins primarily could be more of a mistake when you look back.   Their inherent Gifts WILL make room for them in Life, everyone is bestowed with strengths that can be utilized in some way to make a Living... sometimes a very Successful one monetarily.   But I told them that even the most humble Job, if done with Excellence, is an accomplishment and something to take Pride in doing.   If you LOVE what you're doing, you'll never really Feel like you Worked a Day in your Life and regrets will be few!



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Blessings, Love, Light and Laughter from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the plug! Also, I was moved by your wise words: "...I guess nobody can have it all, so we'll play to her strengths." Your family is so lucky to have you as their matriarch.

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    Replies
    1. Awwww, Thank You Colette for the Vote of Confidence! Your profound Words in that last Post you Blogged touched me too.

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