Tuesday, August 27, 2019

I Can Get Past It... But Will I Ever Get Over It?


I had run into an Old Friend of The Son while having Dinner before Work at a Fav Restaurant in the Old Neighborhood.  We talked at some length, since The Son had a Medical Emergency the Night before and his Friend knew about it, since he saw us at the Hospital on the East Side.  I'd had to leave Work halfway thru my Shift when the DIL called to tell me he'd been rushed to the ER after Work... and I didn't get Home until after 2:00 a.m. after The Son's release from the ER!  His Friend hadn't realized we had moved, since he, like The Son, now lives in the far East Valley.   His Friend couldn't Believe we had Sold the Historic Homestead, nobody can, everybody we knew Loved it... I sometimes can't Believe it myself... I can get Past it... but will I ever get Over it?  I seriously doubt it.   I explained the back story and then it made perfect sense to his Friend why we had to Sell, even tho' I didn't want to and will always regret having to.

Especially during, or directly after, times of Family Crisis and intensely Stressful situations, I find great Comfort in going back, there is no Comfort found anywhere here.   When people know your Family and have a long History with you and/or your Loved Ones, there is a connectedness and genuineness of Caring, of Involvement we shall never have here.   I was there eating Dinner before Work for comfort... comfort food in a familiar place around Old Friends.  The Son is still having seizures and it seems they keep getting worse, but until he qualifies for good Insurance thru his New Employer, the level of Care is marginal at best... and it worries me.   There is a lot of irreversible damage that seizures can cause if not treated... Hell, even with Treatment, Truth be told!   I don't know how long his body... and brain... can continue to hold out and not sustain serious damage with no diagnosis and absence of or improper Care?

He was sent Home yet again, with no real diagnosis and certainly no medications for seizures or anything else.  Brain scans were inconclusive again, no bleeds, and Labs came back perfectly Normal.   But this isn't Normal... and it's Terrifying when they hit and he has no recollection or awareness of any of it happening.  Thankfully a Friend was with him when this Episode struck and random Witnesses to his Emergency promptly called for Help.  Until he gets a Primary Doctor the ER just doesn't want to diagnose any condition, no matter how extreme it's getting.  I know he should see a Specialist actually, but first you have to obtain a Primary Doctor for Referrals to one of those.  The under-insured and uninsured are screwed really with the Medical System if they can't pay 100% out of Pocket for Specialized Care.   As someone whose worked very hard all of his Adult Life... it seems grossly unfair for him not to have adequate Insurance for proper Medical Treatment.  I'm glad he's now out of The Trades, too many times they didn't provide adequate Benefits... or any Benefits at all for Workers.

I am Hopeful that if he can stay Well enough to get thru the Probationary period of the new Career and qualify for Benefits, he can finally receive adequate Care and be referred to Specialized Doctors to get a formal diagnosis?!   He's only Five Days in to the new Employment, it has a Thirty Day waiting Period to receive and activate Benefits.  He doesn't want to appear Unwell or miss any Work, I don't know how he can APPEAR Well when he's clearly NOT Well?!  My Mother's Heart aches for him and there is absolutely nothing I can do, except BE there with Emotional Support and Encouragement.   To Advocate when I can or must, to help him navigate whatever Systems he has to Deal with until he can get to be among those with adequate Health Insurance!?!   I'm adept at Dealing with Systems... not that I want to keep having to... but whatever...  He was only going to have Four Hours of sleep before his next Shift at Work, after getting out of the ER... and he'd sustained a Head injury when he'd gone down on the pavement and began seizing.  But he got thru it tho', I don't know how he did, except that his Will to sustained him.  But he's very stressed out and this all is taking an incredible toll mentally, emotionally and physically upon us all... him especially.

Every time this President is dicking around with the most insane Tweets about himself and everything else... picking fights with, bullying or threatening just about everybody all over Social Media, in Interviews, at Summits, ad nauseum... until do we have any Allies left now, seriously!?!!!  I Wonder when he'll ever put down his damned Phone Twittering and spend that precious time doing his fucking Job instead?!?   You know, actually DO something or come up with some viable Solutions about the serious problems plaguing our Nation... and the World... like Health Care, Climate Change, Environmental Protection, National Security, etcetera!   And instead of wanting to hang out with and fawn over Despots, needing his Ego stroked continuously and receive constant validation for his perceived accomplishments lest he have a childish fit and refuse to get along and play well with others... actually act fucking Presidential! Instead of like an unstable, imbalanced, lunatic, Sociopathic Demagogue that everyone is tiptoeing around lest he throw them under the Bus next or target them for his next assault and public out of control tirade!   It's beyond embarrassing now, it's disgraceful and making a complete mockery of the Highest Office and our Nation's Global Reputation and credibility on the World Stage!

When he's actively causing Economic disaster to unfold, not just here but Worldwide with his Tariffs and threats of Tariffs... his inability to meet with other World Leaders without creating Chaos and Drama, like the Crazy Uncle at a Family Gathering that everyone must tolerate but really doesn't wanna have to Deal with or be around... refuse advice from his own selected Experts in their various Fields and Roles in Government meant to have a Leader be under careful Advisement of... seemingly on Purpose to "punish" just Who?!  Then cracking jokes that people will HAVE to Vote for him in 2020 because their 401K's will be worthless {uh, nobody HAS to Vote for any Candidate, that's not how it works}... and ORDERING Companies to not Deal with China {which he has no authority to do}... I think he's got the Words President and Dictator mixed up?!?  And why not, since he got the Words Origins and Oranges mixed up, not once, but several times in just one Interview and then had to attempt to explain what he was even talking about and what he meant... you know, The Beginnings... Oranges!   Which would be funny were it not so pathetic, ignorant, uneducated and a WTF Moment from an elected U.S. President!

His entire Presidency so far has been utterly EXHAUSTING and so fucking High Maintenance just because of Who he IS... when have we EVER had an Exhausting President before?   I don't remember one... even the ones I didn't particularly like and didn't Vote for... could just do their Job without it seeming to Exhaust the populace or the World with the inundation of High Drama, reckless and petulant behavior, habitual bare face lying, ridiculous fabrications, lack of Character, any credibility or morality, and bat shit crazy rhetoric!   Not to mention the Criminal Accusations right, left and center... everything from Sexual Assault to Fraud!   Personally I have enough going on in my own Life to endure without having to endure this Presidency as well... I don't know about you... but unless you're one of the rabid Base he has that has unfathomable devotion and misplaced loyalty while he does the Ultimate Con Job to keep em riled up, hateful and fearful... the rest of us would just as soon he be removed from Office immediately, to be done with this shitshow of an Administration and it's follies!   To get important things done and Lead an ENTIRE Country responsibly, representing ALL of it's people {not just his Fans and Base}... which should be the Point of the Job of President... I don't know he was EVER in Touch with that Fact?

I'm tired of it all... and with the uncertainty that 2020 might bring in the way of Order and Sanity being ensured and restored... I'm only slightly Guardedly Optimistic at this point!   Since clearly anything CAN happen, since it sure as shit has with this Madman getting Elected in the first place!    And people still, after all of this playing out in Real Time for the whole World to Witness... still being on his Crazy Train... All Aboard Aye Aye Aye... it's surreal as shit to me! Honestly, are people really that gullible, so easily conned or so freakin' hateful or scared that they applaud and blindly Support a Leader such as this and think it to be Normal, Logical or OK?!?   REALLY?!?   Apparently so, if you talk to any of them... and I have tried... it's really quite Interesting... for lack of a better Word... how justification can be slanted and skewed to defend such a guy!   And these are fellow Americans... so... I don't really know what to think about that actually... it's just too absurd to contemplate deeply!!!   If I were an expert in Psychology or Psychiatry perhaps I'd have more of an inkling as to his Appeal to ANYONE... but I don't, so it will remain a complete Mystery!   In the discussions I'm just left with no Words really... because none of what they say or Believe makes an ounce of sense to me.

And how can a simple Blog Post go from Personal to Political as a common thread for the Topic?   Because... I firmly Believe that the Nation, as a whole, is mostly struggling and a lot are suffering... and there's a lot at stake for most of us.  And not just in America... the World itself is unraveling in many places and unrest is Global. Except for mebbe The Billionaire Boys Club, which has never had it so good, because he's one of them and Greed being their primary Mission Statement... they're likely cut from a similar cloth and cannot see past Money.   All Agendas being self serving and $$$$$$ motivated... because Billions just aren't ENOUGH apparently.   I don't know what the count would be past when you earn Billions, but I think most of them are not content 'til they earn whatever obscene amount that would be?   At any cost... and I don't just mean economic... as the Rain Forests burn and Glaciers melt and Species disappear at alarming rates, yet its touted and ignored as being some Chinese Hoax????!?!?!??!?!?!?!   Why a Chinese one, I'm not entirely sure... but whatever... the shit that falls out of 45's mouth is so absurd to a point it's all absolutely unbelievable to me, yet sadly not even surprising anymore!  Yeah, it's so disturbing on so many levels that I take it Personally... way past Politics... since it shouldn't even be a Partisan Issue... it's a HUMAN Issue... it's an Issue involving every freakin' Living thing on this Planet in fact!

If die hard Republicans absolutely NEED a Republican to Vote for in the 2020 Election lest they Vote for this Maniac again... then I sure Wish some Responsible Republican Candidate and the Republican Party itself would grow some Balls and nominate that individual to obtain the Republican Votes instead of risking 45's maniacal second term occurring... I don't Believe the Country can survive another term of him... perhaps the World even couldn't!  If I were a Young Person right now I'd be so distraught I would doubt there would or could be a Future for us, certainly not a very Bright one!?   I'm rather Thankful actually that I'm already in my Senior Years... and I used to be an Optimist... I just find it very difficult to sustain cheerful Optimism in the present Times, it ain't lookin' so good to have that kinda Outlook... tho' I would LIKE to again one day.  I do find it has aided me in being Mindful to just Live in each Moment instead.   I've gotten Past a lot of things in my Life... even tho' I may never get Over some of it... for RIGHT NOW I can just Live in the Present and squeeze every single ounce of Joy out of it that is possible.   Mindfulness doesn't always eliminate Present Sorrows or Loss, but it can make it so that you concentrate ONLY upon that Moment's Sorrow or Loss.   Then go on to the next Moment and being Mindful in it and of it.

I've had a lot of far flung into the pre-scheduled Future rambling Blog Posts, just so that it doesn't look like several are being dumped into a single Post Day and thus blend together on the Page.  *LOL*   But being so keyed up about Personal stuff... and whatever is playing out Globally in Real Time that I keep apprised of... makes it very difficult not to have a lot to say and racing thoughts about all of it.    I've almost always been that person who Works Nights and stays up til the wee Hours of the Morning.  After Midnight is usually the quietest and most convenient time for me to be Online and indulging myself in The Land Of Blog or Facebook catching up.   I cannot really devote myself to deferred Housekeeping at ludicrous Hours because it would wake the rest of them up!  *LOL*  Yeah, I could play with The Hamster Brothers, since they too are Nocturnal Creatures, but this is somewhat more relaxing than interacting with downy soft Rodents who probably are just tolerant of me handling them!  *Smiles*

On the way Home from Work this Night I drove past the Old Homestead, it was shrouded in darkness, since nobody is living there while the new Owner slowly progresses with Restoration.   He had told me he's a One Man Show so it's going to take a very long time... I can relate to that situation... I've been a One Woman Show a mighty long time myself... so I 'get it'.   As usual I got Emotional and shed a few tears.   Both of gladness that the Old Place is still standing and exists because I did the right thing in who I chose to Sell it to... and sadness that it's not mine anymore and I Wish with all my Heart it could be again.   Getting Past things but not Over things can be an arduous Process with no real Deadline... kind of like any kind of Grief really.   The Happy and Joyfulness of Life you don't have to get Past nor Over... even after they have passed, you can fondly recall Happiness and Joy, having it sustain you forever and ever really, each time you have a recollection of it.  Positive things are like that... Negatives not so much, if at all!

Every Image that is being Shared Today in this Post is dredged up from the Past Archives, most quite long ago, almost forgotten over Time.   I suppose that is why Photography has always been a Passion of mine and I'm such a Pathological Picture Taker and thoroughly enjoy Creating Photographic Memories.   As you Age the Memories fade some, unless prompted and preserved some kind of way.   I remember my Mom was tough as Old Boots when it came to withstanding Physical decline, she fought so many epic Physical Health battles for Decades, that would have taken out lesser Beings!   But when she knew she was Memory declining, due to the onset of Dementia, she had made it very clear that she wasn't fighting to Live anymore and was quite ready to Transition whenever the Lord was ready to Receive her.  The Memories being ever so much more Precious to her than any Physical Loss she could Imagine or endure.  It did get bad for her but she succumbed rather willingly once it was evident that Dementia was erasing her Past, her Present and would surely Create no Memory of her Future.

I still miss my Parents every single Day... but I'm not at all Sad that they never Lived to see the State of the World Today, it would have grieved them terribly.   As much Loss as a Family as we have endured over Time... the missing of everything Lost has been Coped with... some Losses better than others.   I think we've all Lost something, someone, at some time or other.   If you haven't yet, you will... just keep on Living.   Getting Past Loss I've always managed to do pretty well actually... even getting Over a lot of it, yet not ALL of it.  You never really know what Losses you won't be able to get Over until that Loss occurs... and the Healing just doesn't seem to come over Time.   You kinda Wonder, how much Time has to elapse before I will FINALLY get Over this?   Will I EVER get Over this?   That remains an open ended question mark until such time as a Healing ever comes... if it ever comes.

As people who always had Family Pets, we've Lost a great many of them over a Lifetime... we miss them all... we've missed some more profoundly than others, which is strange, but I'm being Truthful here.    The same with Friendships really, when you lose some it's okay, with others, not so much... and with the Precious few, it's never okay to incur a Loss!   When you get to this Season of Life tho' it happens... and not just due to Death either... tho' that begins to happen with more frequency naturally.   Finding out whose still above dirt and whose not can be difficult if you haven't managed to keep in touch regularly and know exactly when someone is no longer with us... absent from the Body and present with the Lord.   Giving delayed condolences is one of the things I never quite get used to either, when I haven't known someone is gone.   Like when The Son's Friend hadn't even realized we'd moved from The Old House, if you haven't seen someone in a while, they may not know whose still around and whose passed on... it can get awkward.

Often in the blind of an Eye a lot of Time has actually passed... and we're left playing Catch Up when Connections are re-established.   I think perhaps that is Why I Cherish especially those Old things that are the SAME and abide.   I think I cried Tonight as I passed the Old House because this exterior Door was now painted a hideous Turquoise and I rather liked the Patina of just the Aging Natural Wood.  When something Beloved is Changed drastically it can be a tough transition to accept and embrace, if you're able to.   Just between you and I though... shhhhhhhh... I did take that Lion Door Knocker with us when we moved out and about a Year before we put the Property up for Sale.   I mostly did this because Scrappers were notorious for just stealing anything Metal on Vacant Properties and those up for Sale,  so I couldn't bear to see it get Stolen and Sold for Scrap... so it was more a Preservation/Saving it decision.   I suppose I could have returned it after the Sale, but I didn't... since it didn't convey with the Listing or Showings anyway, it wasn't missed and my Attachment to what little I had of the Old Place was just too strong.   A Memento is like that... I am a Keeper of Mementos of my Past.

I think that is why the accumulation of them makes it somewhat hard to Let Go of a great many of them now I'm down to what means most and I Love best.   I've heard Online that many people downsizing and jettisoning off their possessions and objects take Photographs of them before Letting Go... perhaps that will be Helpful in my Process as I continue with it?   I'm going to try it anyway since I'm a Pathological Picture Taker and just looking back thru the Photo Archives I've seen so many things I already got rid of that I'd almost forgotten existed until a Photographic reminder recalled my ownership of them!  It didn't hurt, no regrets, so that was therapeutic to know.   Having had few regrets yet for what I've already Let Go of in the way of Objects anyway, shows me that my Attachment to most of it was not so strong or abiding.   Of coarse there are exceptions... but if it's not a big thing or a big deal, or coerced, like the Old House, I can usually have minor regrets and get Over it easily.

I apparently don't DO coercion real Well, when forced to Let Go I'm just not one to get Over it so easily, if at all.   When forced into compliance either, which is likely why I abhor the HOA and what it oppresses... and demands of us.   I keep waiting for another Violation Letter at the end of the Month, when I don't take her "Suggestion" made on the last Violation Letter... which doesn't make it a "Suggestion" at all... but whatever...    She's calling it a Suggestion even tho' it was sent as a Violation.   I don't Feel the Need to have a SUGGESTION enforced so I'm not doing it and we'll see how that play out with her?   She had made it very clear she intended to come back at the end of this Month to see if I'd taken the Suggestion... I made it very clear I didn't Feel the Need to... even tho' I MAY be open to Suggestions, I'm under no Obligation to take them, right?  *Winks*

Not that I want to get in a pissing contest with Head Honcho HOA Lady... since Honestly, I'd rather fly under their Radar and not be constantly harassed and singled out if they feel that we're 'problematic people' to their Community's orientation?   I think we probably stood out like sore Thumbs as not their Tribe when we first moved in... but, whatever...  *Winks*   Why does 'Different' always have to be perceived as a Threat to some people I Wonder?   If someone doesn't look just like them, act just like them, think just like them, align with them on everything... then you suddenly become Public Enemy No. One or a handy Scapegoat to torment or try to eradicate or move along!   Sound familiar?  Yeah, I thought it would... happening a lot lately... huh?   Being promoted by this Sick Administration actually... making it seem like there are 'Others'... and that those 'Others' are not Welcome nor Tolerated anywhere in this here United State of their Amerikkka.   Heaven forbid we become a Homogeneous Society where there is Peace, Harmony, Tolerance, Love... everyone is Welcome and gets along and plays well with others on purpose!  I mean... it would be so BAD... right?   Seriously, who really thinks like that and prefers Hate and Negativity except a very Sick and Fearful Individual or Tortured Soul?

Who really Believes they're being 'Replaced'... and how would that even be possible for anyone with confidence and a sense of any kind of security to be conned into Believing?   I mean, unless you create an atmosphere of insecurity, divisiveness, fear, hatred and ignorance in the first place to incubate such a Mindset and such Paranoia!   People, you are much more likely to be actually 'Replaced' by Technology than you are some Immigrant... yet are you going to realize that fact and want to then ban all Technology and Advances to ensure your sense of Security?   Likely NOT.   Naw... ya kinda LIKE your Technology dont'cha?  Kinda Addicted to a lot of it, even if it might put you out of Work or threaten to 'Replace' you in something you used to do.  Something that now either isn't Necessary anymore... or something Tech now fills the slot you once held.  You'll just DO something else... Trust me... chances are you'll find something that fills a Need that you can still DO and be resourceful enough to be Necessary... Human Beings are resilient that way.

There's a host of things I used to do that Technology now does instead... stuff my Mom did or my Nanna did that nobody does anymore... don't HAVE to even.  I don't feel 'Replaced' by any of it actually... it didn't threaten me so much that I found myself totally irrelevant and totally useless and unable to find something else to DO!   There certainly isn't any Human Being that has 'Replaced' me really... in the very basic sense of totally making my Life no longer possible... no longer relevant... no longer useful in any way! *LOL*   And shit, if someone, anyone, could actually REPLACE you that easily my Friend, ya better take stock of YOURSELF... and focus less upon whoever that Individual was/is!   Because they're not the problem... and very likely yours is a DIY Project involving the Man/Woman in the Mirror looking back at ya... not some 'Other'... not anyone Immigrating here intent on arriving just to replace YOU... just sayin'!   The fact that even Needs to be said is rather pathetic actually... but... whatever... I'm getting real Cynical lately about some things that just have to be said even if they're not Heard!  *Le Sigh*

I think we all have to assess whether nor not we want to be the Salt of the Earth {in the Biblical Positive sense} or just fucking Salty?   According to the Urban Dictionary slang... a Salty Person is:  Angry, Agitated or Upset, Mean, Annoying or Repulsive.   Now, you can be a few of those some of the time and probably still be Okay if it's not your State of Being all of the friggin' time!  Angry and Upset or Agitated come to Mind, since many things can easily make any of us Feel that way when our Calm and Patience is severely tested.   But the Mean, Annoying and Repulsive descriptions... really... do ANY of us want to be described and labeled that kinda way by anyone?   I would Hope not... if we have crossed over to Being that way, best to self-correct before it becomes your Normal State of Being, which isn't Lovely, ever.   It won't be received well by many, unless they're really messed up people too and then Birds of a Feather and all comes into play...

So... how many of ya'll are still with me on this long protracted rambling Blog Post?!  *LMAO*   I've enjoyed Writing it because it released a lot that has just been circulating in my Head and apparently Needed to come out and be tossed into Cyberspace!  *Winks*   I can go long... even in Real Life... ask anyone that knows me!  And I'm tenacious about a lot of things, especially if I'm Passionate about them, I can wear a MoFo down like you wouldn't Believe!  *LOL*   Don't even try to outlast me... you'll really get tired... die tired!    The Man is pretty much like that too, but in a different way... I once thought about getting him a T-Shirt that said: Marine Sniper Special Forces... don't Run or you'll just Die Tired!   If you're in our Sights as an Adversary, we're devoted to taking you Down.   I try to let people decide whether or not they want to be my Adversary, their Choice... I'll respond accordingly.  *Winks*   Hey, there's a lot of Adversarial Types out there my Friends... spoiling for a Fight... I just take the stance that if they choose me, it's ON.

Besides nothing relieves tension and stress quite like gleefully taking Down an asshole or troublemaker whose chosen to become an Adversary... it does a Service to the World!   So I consider it a Public Service of sorts.  You can Thank me later. *Winks*   The Man looks at it as a sort of Sport... and he always Loved participating in Sports... we make a great Tag Team if someone wants to get in the Ring with us and get Froggy.   I think I got the genetic disposition from both Parents and thus it tends to be a strong one in our Family.   One of Dad's fav old sayings in fact was that you could fight an Apache all Day long and never see one... and that method of Warfare is very effective against any Opponent.  Dad was one of the meekest and Kind Human Beings... but he bowed down to no Man.  And if you think I'm feisty in my Old Age, you shouldda seen Nanna {my Mom}... Lord have Mercy, you didn't wanna get on the wrong side of that Woman!   She could be the Sweetest person on the face of this Earth towards you... unless and until you crossed her, then all Hell would break loose at ya!   We were taught not to start a Fight... but we sure knew how to end one Gloriously!  

I do think in these Troubled times we Need some Warrior Types to be The Resistance and to stand up for what is Right, what is Noble and what is beneficial to Humanity.   In the Words of Father Jim, a Catholic Priest I considered a Friend and a most Wonderful Human Being, who always gave Wise Counsel whether you were of his Faith or not:  It's time to roll up the Doormat and make it a Club!    I Hope it is a rallying cry that will motivate spectators to become participants... for Cheerleaders or those on the Bench to get in The Game... for everyone to do their part, however small it may be, don't discount your contribution to any worthy Causes!   I'm not attempting to be some Motivational Speaker here, but I am attempting to inspire you to just be all that you can be to make Positive differences in your sphere of influence... we all can do that.

I think if we don't... if we act impotent to try to Change a damned thing for the better... when no Change happens... or things progressively keep getting worse... then we were part of the Problem rather than being part of the Solution.   I don't want that on my conscience... and I think as a Collective we definitely have the Power to promote Positive Change, I really do.   Each in our small way, but combined, being a Powerful Force... a Positive Force... having a Voice loud enough to be Heard and Respected or Feared.   I prefer Respect, but Honestly, if any Adversary Fears me, I will take that if they cannot muster or show any Respect... it still Works Wonders.  *Winks*

And now this Epic Post is winding to a close... {Whew}... I'm pretty sure only the Die Hard strongest "Bohemian Valhalla" Devotees are still with me at this point... weary yet Soldiering thru the entire Post?  And you know who you are!!!  *LOL*  Those are the Tribe I want having my Back actually... those of you who are 'All In' and don't easily Faint, even when things get Epic and go long!  *Winks*   Because I do think it's going to be an Epic battle being waged and if we're to be part of The Resistance and Hope to be in it to Win it... to remain up by Faith and know that it will Hold...  then we better not easily Faint and not be able to go long... and go hard... to earn the Victory and Restore Order, Restore Peace, Restore freakin' Sanity and Restore Humanity towards one another again!   Restoration of America is desperately Needed... we're falling apart at the seams as a Nation with this Maniac at the helm, we really are.

I saw some coverage on the News Today of The Titanic revisited 14 Years later to see the decay and deterioration that has taken place in it's Salty Grave of the once Majestic and seemingly unsinkable vessel.   One which took Down with it Thousands... and is now a Sacred Graveyard of those Lost to it's terrible disaster and demise.  I would Hate to see our entire Nation go Down like a Titanic disaster with the wrong Captain at the helm, who sinks it by heading recklessly and/or incompetently right into imminent danger.  Regardless of how many would be Lost due to the incompetence and/or arrogance of the one at the Wheel.  One who might see everyone on board as just collateral damage and might not even be willing to go down with the Ship or have the courage to remain on board and not bail or accept any accountability once the damage he causes is utter and complete?!   Make your Vote count in 2020... or better yet, raise the Voice for Impeachment!   Regardless of your Political Leanings/Labels... this is and should be Bipartisan... this is just the Right thing to do.


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. I'm sorry about your son's health issues. I saw my husband have two seizures so I know how scary they are. In someone young and without good insurance not knowing the cause has got to put a lot of strain on the family. We had good insurance but never did figure what caused his but he thankfully never had another.

    I feel like I'm about ready to go off on the man occupying the White House, too. He's driving the world crazy, at least those of us have our eyes and ears open. I just don't get how his fan base can keep their stubborn support going, especially those who call themselves Christians.

    I understand you removing the doorknocker off your old house. I took the weather vane off mine before it was listed. The last time I drove past mine (about five years ago) I vowed never to do it again because they'd changed things out front that I really loved about the place. Why do we get so attached?

    I've dropped out of the Epic Battle this summer---my mental health needed a break---but I'm getting drawn back in because the future of the world, our nation and our families are in the cross-hairs of our crazy president.

    1. Thank you for always weighing in, especially when my Posts can be a tough read. I'm glad you've rejoined the battle, but I totally understanding needing the break from it, the strain on one's mental and emotional health from so much negativity is not healthy to be engaged past fatigue. I don't know why we get so attached either, with the Old House I think it is because it WAS MY Dream Home and I needed no other in this lifetime after having obtained it. So giving up MY DREAM was rough, especially after giving up and sacrificing so much else by taking on roles that were rather involuntary... Caregiving being like that, having to assume raising another generation, giving up a very successful Career I had hoped to properly retire from and provide added financial security long term for the Family with. The Old House became symbolic of what I felt I had a measure of control over. Here of coarse with HOA and the type of Community it is, it has become very difficult to properly enjoy the beautiful new Home and think of it as a Forever Home where we can Live out a Dream.

  2. Such a moving post! I am holding you VERY close to my heart right now. I totally understand your sense of grief for the old home, a place where you had a real community. I'm hoping for the best for your son.

    1. Thank You Colette, Writing the Post was Moving to me actually, it was expressing raw emotion I was mos def Feeling the weight of... as I sat up past a ridiculous hour, almost to where the Sun was coming up! *LOL* Having hurled it into Cyberspace expressed... Today I feel much Lighter. I tend not to get visibly Emotional in Real Life, our Dad raised us to be quite Stoic as he was... and sometimes you just not only need to FEEL but to outwardly allow raw emotion to be expressed in some form or platform. It was like a good therapy... winks!

  3. This isn't a tough read, Dawn---so many thoughts rattle around in my brain about '45' that what I call common sense patriotism, and WTF is he doing now, just doesn't seem to jive with his base. And, for the Republican party to continue to support this feeble attempt at a presidency---is a HUGE price for us all to pay. If I were a bonafide Republican---I would be working for a 'new' party scraped together with anyone of them left with any sense of decency or cajones!

    Hope all goes well for your son! Sigh, and healthcare for all---at this point is a pipe dream.

    1. I know Sandi, the state of Politics in general is disheartening, Partisanship being primary in everyone's mind and not only those running for office but those voting in so many cases. You could slap a Partisan Label on a Monkey and people would have it to lead them it seems... well, that's insulting to the Monkey when I make comparison to how 45 got Elected... sorry Monkeys! *Winks* Yes, the Health Care for all could be hammered out successfully and still allow options for those who want them, it doesn't have to be all or nothing but they sure try to sidestep the entire issue by acting as tho' it would be to scare people into thinking it's a bad idea with no real solutions.

  4. I know your pain with your son having seizures. My granddaughter has them and even with good insurance and going to many doctors, they have no answer (she has had three concussions and eye sight has been affected). No medication is being given and the only hope we have is that they say that she might outgrow it. I fear for her future as you do with your son.

    1. Yes, I've heard feedback from many Families with Loved Ones having Seizures, and from Friends who have them, that even with the best of Insurance and Meds, it seems to be an area of Western Medicine not yet perfected to give any kind of relief or not cause further harm. My big concern is many seizure meds are highly addictive and cause such serious side effects they're almost worse than the condition... since The Son is a recovering Opiod Addict he would be hesitant to take any Rx that might do what Pain Management Meds caused for him. He was devastated by what Doctors prescribed before and it fairly ruined his life and health... so he's scared of what they might offer up in the way of Seizure solutions honestly... but to not treat them would be remiss also. He's not going to outgrow this given he's an Adult already and they began later than Childhood. I Pray tho' that for your precious Grandchild, she does outgrow it, so scary and it does cause us to fear for their Future. Thank You for sharing such a personal pain my Friend, it means a lot that anyone understands and has experience with what we're trying our best to cope with as people new to the struggle.


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl