Sunday, July 30, 2017

The Happy Little Hoarder... Or Mebbe Not So Happy

As any of you who are similarly afflicted know, The Thrill Of The Hunt is rather an Addiction of sorts, an Obsession and Urge you can fight off, but often succumb to in times of extreme Stress particularly.   Retail Therapy is indeed my Go To Form of Coping sometimes, not necessarily buying New, but Scavenging for The Love Of Old or Unique... or The Deal.    The whole gamut being The Rush and often a brief Escape from my Caregiving Stresses when ever they threaten to consume me and slam me against The Wall.  Hitting the proverbial Wall in Caregiving is always an ever present Risk when you near Caregiver Burnout with no Replacement Staffing to give you Respite.  So it's much Cheaper than actual Therapy or Hiring someone to take your place to just go out and buy a few inexpensive things to preserve your Sanity and maintain your Calm!   Like this Sandstone Lotus Blossom Votive Holder, Sourced for a mere buck, which will go in the Meditation Room.

Which was sitting in close proximity to this Zen Votivo, also a few bucks, heading for said Meditation Room too.   I have yet to actually get around to Styling said Meditation Room since it requires Painting and emptying of contents to get it Decorated and I don't find any of those activities to be particularly Zen right now.  *Smiles*  But eventually, I'll have my Meditation Room and that catch all Room will not longer be dubbed The Juliet Room on account of it having the Balcony Of Death.  *Winks*  I've had numerous Blog Visitors ask me to do a tutorial on Creating Gypsy Curtains and I wouldn't even know how to Create a tutorial if you paid me to do it, I don't have a Clue and have never done one and have zero ambition to do one actually.  Best advice I can give is sew or tie Desired Materials or torn pieces of them together in a pleasing arrangement to your own Eye and Wallah, Gypsy Curtains or Rag Curtains, easy-peasy and requires no real Skill or tutorial.  Yeah, Teaching ain't my forte clearly, which is why The Force would never be Home Schooled!  Much to the chagrin of the Public School System that can't seem to be bothered trying to Teach the Special Needs Child either!  

Salt Crystal Votive Holder, found Goodwill Hunting brand new, still in it's Shrink Wrap with original price tags and Retail stickers.  I Love Salt Crystal Candle Holders or Lights, they give such a Warm Soothing Glow that I find to be Peaceful and Calming, I have several.   We Need things to be Peaceful and Calming around here because things can spiral all kinds of out of Control on the turn of a dime with this Crew and reach a level of Insanity akin to being in an Asylum!  In recent days the Maintaining of Calm has been strained since each of The Three has been having a tough time with either their Health, their Mental Health or both.   Suffice to say my visits to various Doctors and Specialists for them has escalated to an Insane itinerary lately again... and the Calendar has no White Space for Rest in between Appointments stacking up like Cordwood!!!  Therefore there has been a disturbance in the Force of my own Calm and some mild Retail Therapy was in order.

Just being on The Hunt for small Treasures can make the world of difference in my Coping skills at Home so I don't unravel like the rest of them!   So the Scoring of a Black Glass Skull Bottle for a buck is some good cheap Retail Therapy my Friends.   Keeps this Happy Little Hoarder from going Wheels Off The Rails and On Track... also helps the Great Edit and Purge Process since now for every one little Treasure coming IN, five must go OUT!   Yes, my accountability factor is still firmly in place so that The Hoard doesn't spiral out of control too much... and I'll keep plenty of Fresh Inventory in the Retail Spaces at the Antique Mall... killing of two Birds with one stone so to speak!  Double Problem Solving, hey, if it Works, I say Work It my Friends!!!  Whatever it takes... and I don't always Find anything on my Scavenging Hunts and that's Okay too.  Just GOING on them is better than Solitary Confinement trapped in Subdivision Hell sometimes, where the Silence is deafening and the Social Isolation is making me feel like I could go Mad!!!

Which is probably why I buy Religious Vintage Art alongside Black Glass Skulls, Pray for me!  *LOL*   No actually, I Like both types of Treasures because I was a Weirdo before being Stressed Out and filling our Home with them is Bliss to me even if nobody else Understands the dichotomy.   These I picked up for a mere two bucks each, they are the three dimensional Fabric Spiritual Art of about the 1940-1950 Era of The Blessed Mother and Sacred Heart Jesus.   My Heart fairly skipped a beat to Find them both in a Thrift Store Score and I quickly snatched them from in front of some startled Old Man standing in front of the rack of crappy Art they were forefront in!  No, he wasn't even looking at or going to buy them, I'm Sure, but I couldn't contain myself to wait 'til he moved out of the way!  So I made Eye contact, Politely Smiled and grabbed them before he could respond to what had made my Pulse fairly race.  Coz lemme tell ya something I've Found on Hunts, if you show an Interest in something then even people who don't have an Interest in it will suddenly develop one!   It's a Mysterious Fact and I don't understand it at all since if I have zero Interest in something, you having one won't sway me one iota!  *LOL*

Yep, suddenly random Old Man is now gazing at and taking an Interest in Lord Jesus as if he's seeing Him for the very first time, perhaps he was, who knows?  I'm convinced I made the right move since there were two of them and snatching both before someone uninterested suddenly now has an unfathomable interest would have been risky.  My reflexes are after all slowing down at this Season of Life, I can't therefore take chances!  *Smiles*   I certainly wasn't taking chances with this Pair of Spiritual Vintage Art pieces since they're very Well done and in great condition for their age... and did I mention Cheap, only two bucks apiece... SCORE!!!   No, they will not be leaving Villa Boheme', I have a Collection of such Fabric Spiritual Art already and in a Grouping or Altar Creation they look particularly Awesome and Holy.  I Need to be reminded that I should remain Holy and in the Fruits of the Spirit, because sometimes my Christian Witness is Tested to an Extreme lately.  Apparently The Devil never rests and knows just where I'm showing signs of Weakness!

Will being surrounded by some Lovely Old Spiritual Art prevent me from going Postal and Bat Shit Crazy when all my buttons are pressed and saturation point is attained again?   Well, it can't hurt is all I can say to that, I haven't gone off the deep end into utter Madness and Insanity yet.  Tho' some days I seem to be precariously close to The Edge and one little push could send me over into the Abyss!?!   Pretty Tomb is coming along just Fine and I almost feel like a Pharaoh building up Villa Boheme' like The Great Pyramids of Egypt.   After all, it has been said we now Live in BFE by many of our Friends and Family that find this distance to be like traveling to remote parts of Egypt to visit us... thus, we rarely get Visitors anymore, it's too damned far out in nowhereland!   Note to Self: If I flip this joint eventually DO NOT go looking in remote portions of the Valley for the best Value per square foot... look for Civilization instead, it's worth overpaying for.   I Hate overpaying tho', my Achilles Heel I suppose... and the Old Banker in me is loathe to overpay for Real Estate especially!

Does the Fortune Teller in me suspect I'll go thru the Ordeal of Moving again, since the last Move was so brutal, expensive, long and difficult?   I suspect I Want to and wrestle with not wanting the Ordeal of going thru it again tho'.  Besides, all my crap looks mighty nice in this Gorgeous Tomb I'm constructing here at New Villa Boheme', this is the best damned Luxurious joint I've ever owned!!   I ain't gonna lie, LOVE the Home, it's absolutely Idyllic, even if the Environment and Community {I used that description loosely} is in a Word... Boring!!!   I used to say I'd never been Bored a day in my Life, and I meant it... now I can no longer say this... what a freakin' Boring and Lonely place Subdivision Hell is!  It feels more like Existing than actual Living!  Makes one Wonder if Actual Hell could possible be Pretty and yet still Hell nonetheless?  I do so Hate to seem Ungrateful tho' for living in Luxury, it seems like a Guilty Indulgence to complain when surrounded by Luxurious surroundings and abundant Blessings of any kind.   But can I tell you I've been Poor and in lack... I've lived in some really crappy conditions for many, many, many years... and yet not felt this restless and misfit in a place before... so it's rather a Weird sensation that makes little sense and I didn't expect at all!!!

I'm still Dealing with it daily and some days I prevail and other days I just want to pack up and leave... Escape to what is Familiar and Fits... where I have Friends and Socialization!    I suppose I'm too Social an individual to Enjoy this Solitary Lonesome Existence, tho' The Man is quite Comfortable with it, he's quite the Loner and Loves remote Living, this isn't remote enough for him actually!  *LOL*  He'd live in the actual Wilderness without another Soul within hundreds of miles and be quite Content... we certainly are Yin and Yang that way, so healthy compromise can be difficult in where we hang our hats.  I actually don't Care if we live in a dump, so long as Contentment lies there!  I've lived in Dumps before... substandard conditions and been perfectly Content so long as the sense of Community was strong and we had Friends or Family nearby!   The absence of Friends and Family nearby is a difficult hurdle for me to come to terms with no matter how Pretty and Luxurious the surroundings appear.

 He knows if he were to insist we live more remote I would actually go completely Mad and then he'd have to Deal with that!  Which wouldn't be pretty nor easy... my current state of Madness is about all he can handle I think!?!  *Winks*  The current state of Madness surrounding me is about all I can handle I think.   I Need to be close enough to the City, Sociable People and LIFE that I can attain a semblance of one every once in a while when I can Escape here briefly!!!   The G-Kid Force and I find we linger while in the City, not really Wanting to go Home... they joke, couldn't we just Live in the Truck and stay here in the City?   Yeah, it's been kinda like that for all three of us and thus I feel Bad that I dragged them away from what they knew and to Here, since they had no Choice in the matter and had to leave all their Real Friends behind.  I thought Kids at least would just make New Friends and adapt to the New Environment... I Moved dozens of times in my Childhood, that's the way it Used to Work... apparently it doesn't anymore.  They tried, for two years now they've tried and now they tell me it's just too much Work to keep trying to make Real Friends here... so they gave up already.

Just take us back every chance we can get to where our Old Real Friends are so we can spend time with them is their usual request now.   I do the same... and the Homesickness has not subsided... I still Miss my Old Homestead with a Passion and since there's no Going Back really I second guess every Logical reason why we had to Move.   Even tho' Logically it was the Right thing and the Only thing to do and I know that in my Head... but my Heart still struggles with that Reality... a LOT... since I can't seem to get my Heart on board to Move In and Reside here in the Pretty Tomb, which Looks Amazing so it would be quite Easy to fall in Love with.   And why I did fall in Love with it when I Found it and decided to Buy it... because you can never really know a place and how suitable or unsuitable it is for YOU until you're actually Living there day to day.  I still hold out Hope that the City will move close enough for Convenience and Activities... and Sociable people will eventually frequent the area enough we can make at least a few Friends by finding Kindred Spirits.  I mean, they HAVE to be here hidden somewhere, right?  But shit, they're harder to locate than a Found Treasure of the inanimate variety... dammit!!!!   *Le Sigh*


Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian


  1. Hi Dawn....just stopping in to say hi., I've been following you for quite some time now and realize that this new spot of yours is far from perfect in your eyes. appears that you have moved somewhere rather remote from mainline activity. I've moved A LOT in my marriage to Brad....and each time I felt like a complete outsider. The one thing that truly saved me...was getting my HOUSE IN ORDER. Unpacking everything and finally getting settled setting up rooms as I wanted and discovering things I had forgotten and packed away. I don't know how far along you are in this regard...but just wanted to share my experience with has always worked for me....JUST ME THINKING OUT friend.



    1. Thank You so much for the encouragement and Sharing Jo, I think you are right, feeling like an Outsider in a new place is probably common and in some locales you never will be 'accepted', hard to tell, the ones around here tend to be cliquish, even the Children... and a wishy-washy bunch where they are Friendly and then Not Friendly like a yo-yo so it's difficult to get a read on authenticity of Character? I'm used to a whole different type of Community so this is very foreign to the kids and I... we had many close Friends in our Old Community that were Ride Or Die Types and always had each other's backs and Genuinely bonded with one another without conditions attached to being 'cordial'. I just don't like it here... it's pretty and very exclusive... so at least property values will increase and hold, but other than that, it's socially barren and no sense of Community, most neighbors just ignore one another or don't even know one another no matter how long they've lived here, some have been here over a decade and still don't know neighbors on the same street! In a word, WOW, I have never lived anywhere like that. But yes, getting our Home in order does bring me Joy becoz the Home itself is really Special and a Dream Home, it really is, no complaints about the actual HOUSE! Ha ha ha


A life touched by God always ends in touching others. - Erwin McManus

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino (1923-1996)

For creativity to flourish one should try to look at everything as though it were being seen for the first or the last time. - Quote from "A Thousand Paths To Creativity" by David Baird

Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? ~ Galen Pearl